Eyes that see Into Infinity, I will Disappear
by I'veAbandonedControl
Summary: After bearing an injury, Alex is reborn into a new world as a child. He remembers nothing of his official life except pieces but mostly of his lover. However Alex's life in the new world is also limited. Can he or can he not succeed back as Phai's lover?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Alex is injured in battle. He is dying. He falls into a deep sleep and awakens as a thirteen year old child in a different world unfamilair to his own. For some reason in this new world he doesn't remember his official life as king Alexander the Great but he does remember parts of his past especially the love of his life. He relives his best moments with Hephaistion. He doesn't know if what he sees is reality but he definitly feels a connection. Now since he is reborn he is desperate to get Phai back as his lover but he is afraid to tell him how he feels because of the fear of being rejected as his visions later become less than clear. His life is recounted in three existences, one as a young boy, a teen and an adult. Because of his visions he is not able to fall asleep which is killing him slowly. So he goes down many paths inorder to get Phai to fall in love with him just like it is suppose to be before he meets the end. Can he succeed before he dies, is his major question to himself or will his reluctance cause him to be late to the game.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these fine men.

**Inspiration: **The song Capricorn by thirtysecondstomars

* * *

><p><strong>So I run and hide and tell myself I will start again with a brand new name and <strong>_**eyes that see into infinity…I will disappear **_

**\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

_**Prologue**_

_**xxx**_

_The last thing I remember is hitting the ground and feeling a piercing pain between my ribs._

_**The king has been hit! The king is down!**_

_He sounded. I hear the rustlings of soldiers coming to my aid. I hear the shouts of men dying and the screams of horses. Everything looks red and everything is dead. _

_**Hurry and take him back to camp! Get the king out of here!**_

_The voice is strong and familiar. I feel a hand rubbing my face telling me that everything is going to be all right. Worried blue eyes look down on me. The eyes are so familiar. _

_**It's going to be all right Alexander. I am going to take care of you. **_

_The precious words are scarred with sadness and fear. He says my name with such undying hope; hope that I may live tonight. _

_**Please stay alive! For me stay alive. **_

_My eyes begin to close and his words are like a solemn prayer as he argues against the gods. I feel no pain and no agony. A tear drop falls on my face as blue eyes turn foggier and as mine turn distant into darkness. _

_**Don't leave me!**_

_He whispers against my mouth shaking me and not allowing the underworld to take me and mock me as I burn for eternity._

_**Alexander you are stronger than this. Alexander get up!**_

_Bloody hands take away the man who possesses the blue eyes. In a distance he reaches for me. He yells for me. _

_**Take him! **_

_Another soldier shouts mixed with the blends of more dying nature, friends and fiends. My ears are ringing. Death is awakening. I am being lifted onto a large shield and being carried away. _

_I try to lift my body and grab my Hephaistion…his name fades in my mouth._

**_Alexander..._**

/

My brown eyes stare off and away from the one memory that sulks through my head as I admire the beautiful brunette boy from afar.

Some things are blind, as well as the many people in this universe. Some can be so blind but the blinder they are, the more I can see, and the further I see. I don't know if that has ever occurred to anyone, like those closest to me but I can see things the human race cannot. I see beyond most creatures and most dynamic life. I am allowed to look more out than usual, things beyond this world.

It is a gift and it is a curse.

My name is Alexander and I am thirteen years old. I am diagnosed with fatal insomnia and brain disease. I do not have long to live. Nobody knows but me and the doctor who discovered the illness. However my body remains stable and my mind remains active. Every day that goes by I feel better than the day before. But everyday not everyone is lucky and I know death will soon come to get me.

Because of these visions I will die.

I remember as far back as a crawling baby, stressing my nurse Lanike because I never slept. I was a crazy ball of energy constantly playing with toys and laughing always like the whole entire world was my play pin and I controlled everything. When it came time to finally sleep and the moon stood above the world my eyes never fell closed. Then there was that day I found out I would never sleep again. Years passed by and my eyes never shut to rest. Instead I was somehow gifted with physically powerful mental images and hallucinations in my head. I saw something, things that were very unusual. I remember bright angel lights. I dreamt with eyes open of different worlds and different lives where gods and myths were a way of existence. I've seen horses galloping at the speed of light, men engaging in dark battle, red skies and dry sand as it sucked in blood lust. I've seen kings sitting on their thrones, riding on chariots and ships sailing at sea. I've seen soldiers in armor, flags of honor, women of grace, slaves of penetration and lovers of all kinds.

_Lovers? _It brings me back to why I am sitting here on top of a little valley hill watching him sleep in a small boat at the pond he comes to everyday.

I blame myself for this. I blame myself for letting some thing that feels so special slip through my hands because of my cowardness to go and just speak. I don't know why I am holding back and I don't now why I am scared. Maybe it's because of what my friends may think or the fear of being rejected. But something like that can't be of any excuse. I am stupid, and completely worthless.

I bring my knees up to my chest and hold my legs tight. I am worthless because I am afraid to tell him what I have seen. I can't tell him I have odd visions that include he and I as lovers. I can't tell him I am portrayed as some king and he as my best friend. He would think me crazy. I don't even know if these images are true or real or not and I am just dancing with a fantasy... but he looks exactly like the brunette general that appears to me so very often.

Birds sing throughout the field and wind blows the pond causing waves and his boat to shift. I am so pitiful. All I do is every second I get, steal glances at him making it obvious that I am infatuated of some sort. It's not much fun in this quiet populated city and I seem to never get tired of watching him, always watching but never talking. I have not the guts just as much as I have no manners. Surely I can go and talk to him right now and introduce myself. He must know who I am. We are next door neighbors.

Seventy percent of people move from their original countries so that they could make a living elsewhere and that's what my parents have done. We have moved from Macedonia and to the states to find better work opportunities. We moved to the highlands of CA and Phai and I both happen to go to the same school. But he ignores me in school and has been blind to me as my neighbor for three years already. We have never spoken. I often times see him checking the mail and I go outside and check mine never taking my eyes away. Shy versus Coward I assume. He would open the mail box and never look at me not even once as he fiddled with the letters in his hand. It was almost like I didn't exist but only in his eyesight. Maybe he had noticed me staring at him all the time in class and at the gym and the only way he wouldn't be freaked out or annoyed by it is to pretend I wasn't there so he didn't have to verbally hurt my feelings.

Maybe I am just thinking too much about it.

He was like a deeming grace and so comfortable with his surroundings. It is hard not to watch him especially his eyes which are normally like blue crystals that are now protected by his eyelids and his bright brown hair covering his soft face as he exhales slowly in rare peace. I could watch him from sunrise till sunset. He is that beautiful.

"Phai, it's time to come inside!" I hear a little voice call. "Mom says! Hurry its dinner time!"

I lift my head and see that a little girl shouting and waving her hand up in the air. The beautiful boy awakens and leans up in the boat. I duck low so that they do not see me spying. "I will catch up with you later. Tell mom I will be there in a sec." The boy says.

"Okay!" His little sister runs back home through the fields.

I watch him quickly move out from the boat and he collects his shoes and books piled on the tiny wooden deck and runs catching up with his sister.

Some stories shouldn't be told... but this one is a bit different. If you ever felt bonded to someone for eternity and hardly know that person but you know everything about him, it can be a little scary and confusing. It is much like a tale that has already happened but is being revisited for an oppurtunity to create changes. It is like a test. I have loved him in my visions and memories. I remember he and I doing everything together. Now I want him to notice me before I hate myself for it and before I regret missing out on something that was important to me in another life.

I remove myself from the grassy hills and watch as he goes. What if he is not the one in my vision. What if this is just a big misunderstanding. Sooner than later I am going to have to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

Chapter One

/

"Hi my name is Alex; it is nice to meet you… Nah that can be of any good. How about…Hi I'm Alex what's your name. Ugh how lame."

The blonde took a deep breath and started once again. "I am your neighbor and I just wanted to come by and say hi."

His body went limp giving up speaking to himself, which was unnaturally odd out in the open.

The blonde boy kicked the ground frustrated with the lack of amazing words to find. Now I won't be able to introduce myself without feeling stupid he felt.

He had seen movies like this all the time where the boy happens to be to shy to speak to the girl he likes, and at home or elsewhere he practices in front of the mirror or aloud to him self. Not only is it a good percent embarrassing but it could get nasty if not approached correctly.

Well, it never works out because of the lack of natural approach. He had always hated those genres of movies anyways. Romantics are not well worth the money unless you watch it as a couple. Other than that you will become a depressed person if you watch it by yourself, eating popcorn on an empty couch when that one person of your dreams is off in another persons lap.

_/It's nothing real and nothing to lose but I have everything to lose._\

He admired Phai again from afar hanging out with nobody. It was his perfect chance, but instead he found himself playing with his nervous fingers and speaking to himself as he moved back and forth, blocking out most of the world around him, the boy he watched so closely being an exception.

"Alex stay with the class! How many times have I told you not to wonder off!"

Reality hits him in the face. "Sorry Mrs. Jan." He replied meekly. Alex kicked the ground once more with his head remaining down as he had been caught again too much in thought and wondering away from the classmates.

This was not the first time this had happened. Distractions were most common when it came down to him.

"Come boy before you get lost."

He hurried and stolen a quick glance at Phai and jumped from the boulder where the teacher was tapping her foot slowly waiting for him to approach her as she scolded him with her dark grey eyes. He shyly made his way towards the old teacher. Her arm extended and pointed in the direction of the rest of the pupils. She looked down on him stern with her feathered hat and small round glasses and a wrinkly long face. "Alex this will be the last time I warn you to pay attention before I am forced to give you a demerit, is that clear?"

"Yes maam."

"Now hurry off you go."

The young boy scurried away and caught up with the rest of the students but still kept a distance from everyone.

After all it was difficult to think with such loud kids around. "Field trips are so stupid." He mumbled. He didn't even know why he was pondering about it at the moment. There, in his thirteen year old opinion, thought nothing fun about it which was quite unusual for a boy his age.

His reading and writing class were at the zoo, for one of there assignments.

The zoo is the worst and I never plan on taking my children here later if I have any he thought. He walked by caged animals. He hated seeing animals being locked in the mercy of bars and glass walls all because humanity feared them or saw them as entertainment. They see them as a laughing stock. This gives the idea that humans' even small babies are superior to nature at its finest. Explains why they hide away behind rock and stone and grass, from tourists, so that they are unable to get a good look at their sadness and their depression. And as uncomfortable as it was to admit to him self, sadness and depression was very similar to what he felt all the time. He would assure those to not let his laughing and smiles trick them.

His mind once again was quickly aborted as he was interrupted by a frilly little shout.

"Ooo look at this one, come Alex look! It's gorgeous!"

The blonde boy looked up to Roxanne who was literally yelping about wanting him to hurry and see something that must be so incredibly cool. The whole class surrounded the cage and Alex went to go look.

"What is it Roxanne?" he tugged her shirt as she was distracted by whatever was in the cage.

"It's the lion's cage. The most fearsome creature ever lived?" She pronounces with such enthusiasm only getting an awkward look from the boy in return.

"Roxanna that is highly incorrect."

The dark girl glared at Alex and rolled her eyes dramatically as her fingers were pressed to the glass of the lion's cage. "Oh yes, Mr. I know it all about animals, then what about the lion?"

Alexander grinned. "The lion isn't a creature at all and definitely not the most fearsome. He is honorable and brave."

"Just like you see yourself." She mocked with eyes in playful shine.

"Not quite. I am afraid to do some things." He admitted timidly.

"But not all the time." She answers sweetly. "Hurry look!"

He peeked in to see the sleeping male lion on a large boulder while the female's moved stealthily around like hunters then scratching and growling scaring some of the children making them squeal and run away from the protective glass.

Roxanne pressed her lips together and looked at Alex with sudden glee in her eyes. She jumped away from the cage and took his hand. "Your hair remind me of lions."

Alex itched the back of his head at the random compliment, if it was one he wasn't so sure. "Uh okay."

A bunch of her friends shout out to her so that they can examine another cage. "Come Roxanne leave Alex and let's go!"

The girls giggled and ran off with each other.

Roxanne pecked the boy on the cheek before taking off with her friends. "I will talk to you later Alex!"

This is why love is confusing. You don't know who to love especially if you are loved by someone who is not the person you have originally fallen for. It ends with broken hearts and never-ending drama. Just the way he hated it. He sighed and moved on looking more into the lion's pen. Always watching him, Alex's eyes remained on the brunette boy, who after everyone left came and was closely and intently watching the lions.

Alex looked aorund and made sure the rest of the students had scattered about and it was now his opportunity and possibly one chance to go and speak with him.

Unlike girls he didn't feel the need to fix his hair and straiten out his clothing or even smell his breath before he approached him. In fact he felt he wouldn't have given a crap about any of that. They were at a zoo. Not some first date. Now all he had to do was walk.

You ever had that moment when you are set out to do something so great but your body doesn't allow it because it fears something different from your mind. It brings us back to why the mind and brain is a powerful thing. It can be so strong, stronger than steel. And right now his body hated his mind. They were clashing together and unsurprisingly his body was winning.

Alexander pressed his heel against the ground to turn away and unexpectedly he ran into Cassy who steadied him before he fell.

The green eyed boy laughed blurting in his face. "My god Alexander, watch your steps!" he chuckles.

"Sorry Cassy. I was a bit distracted." The blonde muttered.

Cassy moved passed him and nodded towards Phai. "Oh really, tell me why I am not surprised."

"Why are you not surprised?"

Cassy wraps his arm around me. "You want to know something I have found about you Alex?"

"What?"

"You are gay."

"Gay?"

"Yes have you seen the way you look at that boy? It's obvious to all." Cassy smiled waiting for an answer. He didn't really assume it but he just liked to tease.

The blonde stole a nervous fleeting look towards Phai. "It's not what it seems." He says in a weak gesture. His fingers traced slowly up and down the goose bumps that had formed on his arms. His tongue darted between his lips and again he was staring off at the brunette boy.

"See what I mean Alexander, you pay no one attention when he's around. Just go talk to him. Don't mind that I hate him."

Cassy didn't actually really seem to mind or care. He was just a young boy who liked to cause problems. It was a normal thing for young boys to go and cause rumors and tease and joke.

Alex saw a future for him and that was Cassy would become the jock of high school, being on a really good or really shitty football team.

"That doesn't mean I have a crush on him." Alexander argued but still not strong enough to have even the earth convinced. "I don't swing that way."

Cassy shifted towards him, green eyes with disapproval and then laughs and heads off catching up with his friends. "I'm just joking Alex" he shouts. "See ya. We'll talk another time when your obvious crush isn't such an obvious crush anymore." He laughs again fading somewhere off with his group.

His friends for the most part weren't fond of Phai at all, but they never explained why or gave a logical response. That's why Alex kept it secret to everyone about his feelings toward him. He knew staring wouldn't do him any good and knowing Cassy he would probably inform the entire school. If you know middle school kids, they can be mean.

"Phai stay with the class or you will get lost!"

"My god she is annoying." The brunette proclaimed about the teacher as he continued to draw the lion in the cage down in his notebook.

What the class was supposed to be doing other than having fun was finding interesting animals and writing about them. Phai decided to draw and write about the lion, it being one of his favorite animals. Alex had not jotted anything down in his notebook. Why? Because he forgot it at school when he was daydreaming again.

"I am completely worthless." He turned more flustered with himself.

Phai stood leaving his notebook down on the bench and moved towards the cage again. He smiled as the fearless animal moved from its lazy sun spot and began to creep up towards the glass. Phai's eyes stared right back at the sharpening gaze of the animal as they met face to face. Satisfied with this moment, the boy slid his hand up the glass smiling almost in bewilderment. He then turned excited to tell the teacher about it but noticed the only one within a close distance was Alex just watching him. Phai looked at the perturbed boy. He was definitely tenser compared to himself, especially for having an animal within five inches of him.

The brunette didn't know how to break the uncomfortable silence. "Uh…do you want to come see this?"

"Uh, sure." The blonde choked the words at the disbelief the brunette said anything at all to him.

Deep inside Alex still felt it didn't count. Maybe he was thinking the first words would be of something more special and memorable. Or maybe he was being too picky.

Phai smiled at the lion once more but still having some nervous reaction.

"He won't strike at you?" Alex reassured.

"I know." The boy didn't look at him. He never looked at him and if he did it just happened to be a second passing by.

"So are you done with your assignment?" Alex asked hoping to cause a more natural discussion.

The moment was ruined when a bunch of other kids came in yelling high pitched and scaring the animal away. Phai watched captivate as the lion had moved away back to its sun spot on the rock and then moved annoyed with the kids and took his notebook looking disappointed and walked away.

Alex sighed in repentant. Now the boy would never talk to him again now that he had interrupted his first and probably only moment with the lion. Yes he was jealous of a lion. The boy felt more of a connection with the animal then had did with him. It's actually safe to say they didn't connect once at all. The feeling was very flat and lifeless.

The trip had finally ended and the kids all met back into the bus. Alex sat in the way back staring out the window. He thought about his death and when it would take place. He obviously wasn't met for Phai and the brunette was the wrong person to go seeking for. This wasn't the best day for him, indeed he felt like the biggest failure on the face of the planet.

The teacher stood counting off a record making sure every student was aboard. She shouted names moving down the list and when she passed Alex's, he did not answer.

"Alex, is he in?" she asked again incase she misheard.

"Yes teacher, he's in the way back." Called a student enthused and still hyped about the trip.

"Quiet down children!" The bus silenced as the teacher yelled and shushed them all. "Mr. Alex are you here?" she questioned strongly.

The day dreaming boy was nudged by Roxanne and the rest of his friends were giggling as they tried to get his attention, snapping fingers in his face.

The blonde boy looked slowly up at his friends then at the teacher and folded his hands in his lap. "Yes maam I am here."

"Alex we are going to have to speak with your parents about your behavior as of late. Your participation grade is shifting to the bottom."

His friends all looked to him.

"Are you okay Alex?" Cleitus asked concerned.

The fact was he didn't care. He didn't care one bit. He was dying anyway and grades were the last thing on his mind and his parents most likely wouldn't care much about a participation grade. They were hardly home to begin with or when they were they were to busy arguing about something as pointless as a calendar. He was a sick child just following this revelation he was cursed with. With no love his life seemed pointless, the visions get more pointless. It was like he was just stuck inside another persons body and he was the one who has to solve some untold riddle in order to get out from it, the mystery being the hospital bed and the blankets that cast over his body completely after the heart stops to beat.

His friends leaned in around him looking worried as Alex didn't reply and turned back towards the window.

"I'm fine."

* * *

><p>Alex walked from the bus stop to his empty home, head low as his parents were off working again, traveling elsewhere working for the government. He slammed his back pack on the porch table and began searching through it for the keys to the house. He heard a garage door opening and saw Phai and his mother pull up in the driveway. Phai stepped out of the car and once again the existence of Alex went unnoticed. Alex began to briskly search for the spare keys while his face was buried deep in his pack. He finally found them and moved towards the door, unlocked it, and then stepped in, too angry at himself and his life to even make it any further. He tossed the keys at the wall and began to shed tears he had been holding in for a lifetime.<p>

He rarely cried. He was so deep in hallucinations he didn't have the time. He was so set on making the boy his, never thinking about the despair of things and only the joy and hope of it. But there was no joy at all and it was becoming obvious there was no hope.

Typically everyone has there heart broken once at least but his situation was different. His heart wasn't broken. He and Phai haven't been together once. So this was just another case. This was a case of loneliness. He turned the lights off in the house and walked up the stairs to his room.

/

_**Get out of my way. Let me see him!**_

_My eyes are already closed and I still hear his voice shouting out for me but he goes ignored. Hands messed with me and pressed into what felt like open wounds. _

_**He's bleeding massively! Hephaistion, I don't think you want to see this!**_

_I can tell the words scare the man more with blue eyes than it does me. _

_**What I see is what I get and I want to know!**_

_His voice is booming and he is faced with his worst enemy. My death. My non existence. _

_**Hephaistion we are sorry, he is in bad condition. He might not make it. You might want to step out. **_

_**I am going nowhere!**_

_He stands strong against the god of demise even though I am in no such luck, my body turning ice cold and my limbs getting stiff._

_**Hold on, love!**_

_My hand is taken and held, and kissed gently softness curing my coarseness._

_**I am with you always even in death!**_

_**\**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Two**

**/**

The teacher hit the board with a ruler in order to quiet down the students throwing and tossing paper and objects that could injure a human.

"Pay attention class!" she hit the board twice more shutting up the disobedient kids rallying up paper airplanes. The students suddenly all slumped at there desks as the teacher walked down each row with a basket with a sign taped to it specifically for cell phones and any device that makes noise. "You will maybe get these back at the end of class…and Phai what may I ask that you are reading?" The teacher rolled her fists into balls and placed them deep in her hips after passing by the boy who was face buried deep inside a book.

Alex leaned his head up from his desk after thinking of the ways he would die and what kind of funeral he would have, and watched the teacher scold Phai who as the days went by seemed to ignore him more and more.

It wasn't normally Phai getting in trouble and if he did, it was because he was put the blame on so it was a little interesting watching as he sat shamed in his seat making Alex's depression slip for a second as he mustered up a smile. The boy could ignore him all he wanted but it wouldn't change the fact that he held secret desires for him.

"Oh snap, Phai is in trouble." Cassy howled. Tolem and Leon tried to shut the loud child up before he got them in trouble. The class decided being next to Cassy wasn't such a good idea.

"Cassy get a grip." Phai spoke back shutting the book. He looked back to the teacher who was still waiting for him to give her a reason as to why he would be reading in class instead of listening to her lectures.

"Uh..." he cleared his throat dryly "It's nothing, just a book."

"You are an intelligent boy Mr. Phai, but I am afraid this class includes another text. Put the book away and I don't want to see it until class is over, understood."

Phai rolled his eyes and slipped the book back into his bag. "Yes Mrs. Jan."

Overall, the students did not like her. She was the strictest teacher in the school and one who took her life way to seriously, treating the middle school kids like they were in a private Catholic school, where kids wore uniforms and pretty much never saw the outside. But the thing they hated most about her was her high pitched voice, that could be a close enough mating call for monkeys. "Okay class let's begin. Take out your text books and open up to pages 47 through 68."

The class moaned intentionally being over dramatic. That was a lot of pages to whip through before lunch time in their opinion. But then again Mrs. Jan had the pleasure in over stocking her students with more work than usual.

"Teacher, can I go to the restroom?" More than enough students asked in order to get out of it.

"Sure, if only that means the principal will be standing by the door when you come out." Her face collapsed in satisfaction as the children sat back into the seats looking only a little more like they wanted to be there. Okay let's see…" the teacher searched around the room with her pointer finger while clicking her tongue. "Ah Roxanne, read the first page."

Roxanne moved dragging to the front of the class and began reading. By the way she was reading, it sounded pretty much like someone was holding her cat hostage and if she didn't finish the page her cat will die. Cassy giggled at all the pink the dark skinned girl was wearing even ignoring every other stutter through her words and hit Alex in the back leaning up in his chair. "Psst, Alex, your girlfriend has the crappiest style."

Roxanne had always mentioned to them that she wanted to become a fashion designer when she grew up or a dancer. Alex told her to stick to what she was good at and fashion design definitely wasn't her passion. Yes, her style sucked. "I mean look at her Alex, she is wearing five different kinds of pinks. I didn't even know there were five different kinds of pinks."

Her style and clothing was the least of his problem though. Everyone thought Alex and her were dating. "She's not my girlfriend." Alex's reaction was slow. He looked back at Cassander glaring.

"That's not what she tells me." The green eyed boy said spinning a penny on is desk causing the class to suffer with the noise as the coin hit the wooden desktop.

"What does she tell you?" Alex whispered but still tried to remain in an ordinary facade pretending he was paying attention to Roxanne read.

"Boys!" the teacher shouted unexpectedly almost making the girl drop the book.

"Sorry Mrs. Jan." The two boys said in unison.

After giving the boys the evil eye for crude long seconds the teacher let Roxanne proceed. Surprisingly the two remained quiet. Unsurprisingly Alex kept looking at Phai every chance he got. Phai was one row and two desks behind him.

The blue eyed boy was yawning like the class wasn't worthwhile. Just looking at him, Alex remembered the softness of his hair and the smooth and freshness of his face. He had to be the one in his visions. No other person could possibly possess such a strong splendor. The appearance was one in a million. The name Phai was one in a million. "That has to be him." He quietly spoke as a mental note to self.

"Stop looking at your boyfriend." Cassy whispered and Alex could have turned and hit his desk but that would have caused too much of a scene. He would be sent to the principles office the third time that week.

"Psst Phai" said Cassy this time. "Guess what?"

The brunette boy who looked very much disturbed and annoyed looked at Cassy glaring. "What?"

"Alex has a huge crush.." Before the trouble maker finished whatever it was he was going to blurt, even though moreover it couldn't have been good or appropriate, Alex leaped at Cassy covering his mouth.

* * *

><p>"And another detention for me. I could kill you."<p>

"I didn't do anything."

"He probably thinks I am talking about him now."

"And?"

"And it's not true and I don't have a crush on him. I don't like boys."

"I am joking. You can't take a joke."

Roxanne ran up behind Alex and covered his eyes with both her hands. "Guess who Alex?"

"Roxanne." He didn't have much enthusiasm like he normally did and the girl frowned.

"Correct I guess. You want to come over tonight and play and watch movies."

"Actually I think I got a lot of school to catch up on."

"I can help you with your homework. We have the same classes anyway." She registered, her tough attitude coming into play.

"Uh nah I'm fine today. Sorry Roxanne." He knew he was hurting her feelings but he had no better way of saying that he had a bad day and he just wanted to go home and think about more things that they wouldn't understand. "But maybe tomorrow we can."

It was too late and Roxanne was already in a frenzy. "Why do you always blow me off?"

"I don't. That's not true." He watched Phai at his locker then looked back at Roxanne who was ready to blow fire out her eyes.

"Yes Alex you do, all the time. Isn't that right Cassy?"

"I am not apart of this." Cassy slid away leaving Alex at the demise of a thirteen year old girl and a girl who would kill the blonde with kisses if she could.

"It's not that I don't want to hang out with you but I just have been tired lately and I need rest." It was understood that it was a lie and Roxanne accepted it as it was and turned to leave angry with him.

He went to his own locker spent from so much going on and opened it placing his class books away. Now he had to deal with Roxanne, on top of the lack of balls he had to just tell Phai how he felt or at least try to get to know him more. He was sure the boy was angry at him after what happened in class. The blonde took in a deep breath and watched as Phai was struggling trying to get books out the locker.

The one thing he had noticed between the boy of his dream and the boy struggling at his locker was that he was very fond of reading and enjoyed the likes of different types of manuscripts. The browned haired boys locker was piled with books that didn't include any from school. He remembered the lover in his vision reading all the time under trees or some where in private. It was a certain case, him reading when he needed to be free from worry.

Phai sensed some one watching him and he looked quickly at Alex who hadn't realized he was again staring. The boy just glared unkindly and Alex smiled nervously in favor and sudden embarrassment, his face flushing red.

"Do you have something to say?" Phai asked with little manners tapping the metal door of the locker with his finger tip.

"No, why?" Alex said fleeting his eyes away after sensing the boys patronizing conduct.

"Because you always stare."

Carefully Alex searched for the right words to say. Apparently his gazing didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh, sorry if that bothers you." Alex replied apologetically as well as nervously swiping at the ground with his shoe and eyes fighting to look away.

"Why do you look? Is there something wrong with me?" Phai asked with an awkward expression amongst his face.

"No it's not that. I just find you interesting that's all." Alex answered abruptly, this time a little less odd and more direct.

Phai was lost for words and didn't know how to respond to such a flattering remark so he frowned nervously and walked away, not knowing that he left the boy feeling like he did something else wrong for admitting the truth.

The bell had sounded and the students caused a rush of traffic through the halls hurrying to get out of school. Once all the halls emptied Alex found himself in the same spot. His bad luck couldn't get any worse. He tore a piece of paper into narrow strips, a paper that he wrote his apology letter on so that he could give to Phai letting him know he wasn't talking about him in class. Suddenly it sounded way too corny and he tossed the shredded pieces in a trash the janitor was wheeling by.

Maybe I will hang out with Roxanne tonight he contemplated. He figured he needed to get his mind off of the boy instead of on him all the time. Alex then headed out the doors catching the bus before it left.

* * *

><p>When Alex made it home after school he was surprised to see his mother's car in the driveway. His excitement seemed to swell in his body. It wasn't so often he had seen his mother. His dad even made more appearances than her. It normally happened with a bland 'good morning' and then a bland 'goodbye' and then he would see his parents again in a week or two. He was pretty much an independent child and a worthy one at that, especially if they trusted him with the keys and trusted him to take the bus and get home safely. He has had no problems so far. He even knew how to cook and clean, not like it was much of a hitch, seeing as he was a very neat kid, the only child and didn't make many messes or cook much food to begin with.<p>

He had other siblings but they hadn't moved with them to America and stayed in their own country.

The boy silently entered the house placing his bag down and walked straight into the kitchen and hugged his mom around her stomach as she stood at the counter dropping cut up fruits into a large bowl. "I've missed you mom."

"I've missed you too honey." She turned to kiss Alex on the cheek and curled his soft hair around her finger. "I've made you dinner." She sounded happily and opened the counter drawers searching for her knife sharpener.

"I am going to go wash up first."

"Alright, sweetie." She popped a finger in her mouth licking off the juice of the orange she sliced open. "It will be ready in twenty."

xxx

"Mom is having visions normal?" Alex asked as they sat at the dinner table cutting and slicing open the large steaks she had cooked for them both.

"Uh no honey, no it's not. Why? Is this what they are teaching you in school? Damn if your father that pig hadn't lost his job we wouldn't be here right now in these dreadful schools and this dreadful country." She took the napkin and wiped her mouth and placed it back on her lap. She was still wearing her business suit and her son knew she would be returning back to work later in the night. They often called her in to work shifts of others who either didn't show or called out.

"School is fine mom, I was just wondering." Alex carved his steak and poked it with his fork not recalling that he wasn't putting anything in his mouth. "Do you and dad not like to work together?"

"It does not necessarily mean that I do not like it, but we can hardly stand each other. It's something you would understand when you grow up and get married. Sometimes relationships are never as they appear to be." She spoke with such blind grief and Alex felt some sense that his parents would get divorced soon. It wouldn't surprise him after the harsh words they speak constantly of one another.

"I have a question concerning that?"

"Concerning me and your father?"

"No, marriage."

"What about it sweetness? Have you found the right girl? I do not like that Roxanne chick you hang out with. She enters my house like it is hers and her parents let her."

He heard the sound of his mother's heels hitting the hard wear floor and the screeching of the knife across her plate as she damaged her steak. He was becoming nervous and trembled as the fork and knife within his hand clattered.

"Well speak up Alexander." She rushed, leaning against the back of her chair placing her utensils on the side. Olympias then stirred her dark hair out of her way and eyed her young boy proceeding to crossing her legs and arms.

"Well I have this friend and no body likes him because he is attracted to his same sex. Is that a problem?"

Olympias lunged her tongue to the side of her inside cheek and then smiled leaning up eyes darted. "Can a man grant another man a child?" she questioned.

"Not that I know."

"Then it is clearly not a natural thing."

"Who is to say?" Alex questioned, as his own insecurities became irregular.

"Many people have different opinions of it." His mother continued to eat until she was full and couldn't manage another bite. "My god son, are you tired. You look worn out." The tangent was opted at once as she looked more at her son who wasn't eating what was on his plate.

Olympias was so oblivious to his feelings; she didn't even know how much he never related to her. "No mom I am not tired. I can't sleep much these days anyway."

"School will throw your diet off balance. Be careful of those things. Drink some warm milk. It will help you rest and then go straight to bed. I will clean up the dishes." She stood wiping her mouth once more and proceeded to clear their dishes.

"Will you be gone when I wake up?"

She turned to the side looking sadly amongst her boy and then shoved the dirty dishes under the water. "Most likely."

**_Summer, 326 India_**

Hephaistion awoken when he felt the kings fingers twitch in his hand. His eyes went bright with hope but to his disappointment Alexander was still unconscious and with little heartbeat, sheltered with a strong fever causing his body to burn up. Alexander even though on the verge of death had won the battle and taken victory. When he was hurried to the tents so that the physician Phillip could look to his wounds, the blue eyed general thought he had lost him in that very moment. He couldn't stand the look of suffering throughout his features and as his skin paled up, like he had just became a ghost before his very eyes. It was hard to admit that they had almost lost him.

Hephaistion ignored the burning pain of his own injury at the inner part of his thigh. A spear jabbed through the flesh causing him to fall over but the moment he saw the kings mighty horse protecting her master, he found the strength to get up and go to him, making his wound even worse but he cared not about himself.

Alexander had made it through the worst part of the operation, stitching up the deep wound and cleaning it out but now came the time where the entire camp held there breaths. It was only a matter of time until his strong heart gave out completely. The general had stayed with the king ever since and continuously moved his ear to the heaving chest hoping to hear the beating of his heart each time. He feared one day he would lean in and never hear it again. But the general promised him that he would never leave his side until he knew he was alright.

Hephaistion heard the flap of the tent sliding open and seen a dark figure coming in holding a candle light. "How are you doing?" The voice of the person was obvious. He had a smirk tone and moved with immeasurable arrogance. Cassander stepped in through closing it softly out of respect for the king's deep sleep.

"Swell." Hephaistion answered holding Alexander's hand tighter as if any person was going to charge in and take the body away from him.

The general took a seat settling comfortably next to Alexander's other side and leaned up to wipe his feverish forehead with a damp cloth.

The blue eyed general eyed the suspicious general who appeared to have sudden decency towards the king, as hostile darkness crept into the room. The light of the moon became scrimmed by the thickness of the tents material.

"What are you doing here Cassander?"

"Checking up on the king." He encroached. "Is he not my friend as well as yours?"

"Oh like you are not one of those other generals who wish him dead." The blue eyed general glared harshly at the smirking man causing his nerves to tremble with some sudden ability to just strangle the hell out of him but he recollected himself.

"I have no intention of disposing of the king." Cassander instructed gravely yet Hephaistion still didn't seem to accept his words as true. The green eyed general was too sneaky and too much behind the scenes to be of any trust to him.

"But me you do." The candle lights burned, casting deep shadows and tossing them around the tent like the fire was dancing with fire.

"I am not going to lie, I wished it once."

It was of no shock to the blue eyed general. Half the army wished him dead and ever since they were boys Cassander never hid the feelings of hate towards him. "Now I now when I keel over in my bed I know who too blame and curse in hell for eternity."

"Unless Alexander doesn't make it and he would be your killer." Cassander suggested as he damped the cloth again and brought it back to the kings' head removing the sweat pulsing through his skin.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Asked Hephaistion who was considering Cassander to be of pointless company. He would rather have Cleitus bust in or even Parmenion. But they were both dead and one of them done in the hands of Alexander himself.

"Alexander can not live without you. It's been proven countless of times even in moments when you were just away for months. Are you telling me you could live without him?" Cassanders voice disturbed the stillness of Hephaistions once peaceful posture until the question became abrupt.

"Alexander has his weaknesses and I am his weakness aswell as his strength." The general answered but not turning his head to look at him, his eyes still occupied at the touch of the kings hand. "He's made me who I am. But I am the one who has to keep him breathing. I know very well he can't live without me and if I leave this room he will be dead before any of you even begin to understand. If he doesn't live, I will gladly move away from the scorn that you all share against me and go back home."

"And live alone?"

"Yes."

"You don't think there is someone else out there for you to share your heart with?"

"None. I don't think about such things."

The green eyed man cast him a sharp gaze with eyes full of sparks and flame, reflecting in his pupils. "How do you know if you don't look? Being lonely can turn a man mad."

Hephaistions body remained tensed but tranquil. His eyes returned to Cassanders but only momentarily. "Then you must be lonely then."

Minutes passed by with both men sitting in silence. Cassander then stood from his chair and moved towards the flaps and before exiting he flashed a glance towards Hephaistion. "You need proper sleep. Maybe it's time to let him go."


	4. Chapter 4

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Three**

**/**

"Phai, Phai, Phai, Phai…" his little sister continuously pounced on the bed trying to get her older brothers attention. He was good at shutting her off until he finally removed his ear phones, flicked the stop button to his CD player and stared at her displeasing.

"What Callista, what do you want?" he pronounced annoyed but naturally enough hoping she would get the point that he wanted her out. He remembered how he always forgot to lock his door on the principle of privacy. Boys needed there private times just as much as girls do and she never got the hint. It's not like she saw him charging into her room all the time.

"Come play with me in the fields." She asked wiggling with excitement.

"Go by yourself." He proceeded to put one ear phone in blocking out some of her interference.

"I'm only nine. I'm too young according to mom."

"You're not that much younger than me. Go with one of the neighbors. You have friends don't you."

She rolled her eyes at the question and started tugging at his shoe laces. "Phai everyone on the block is your age and goes to your school. I have no friends."

Phai didn't look nor feel sympathetic and flicked his sister's hand away. Then his sister suddenly had a bright idea. "Oh! Phai you know what you could do for me? You know what? You can introduce me to some of your friends. All I know is Tolem really and he's boring."

The brunette boy frowned mischievously. The only reason why she knew Tolem is because Tolem was the only decent kid on the block who didn't have any ill feelings towards him, like Cassy and Phil did and he was completely in love with his sister. Explained why he always teased her all the time.

"Well you start middle school soon and you will meet friends there. Trust me the boys here aren't worth knowing." He tried to give the best advice as he could so that his sister would understand how life really is. Chances were when she finally hit school, everything turns out to be exactly what she didn't expect. He didn't want her walking blind into intimidating boundaries.

"Please, please, please Phai Come on!"

His eyes followed up and down at the girl jumping energetically on his bed now. He finally turned up his music and shooed her away again. "Go Callisto, I am busy."

"Too busy to talk with your sister?"

"Too busy to talk at all, now get out please." It was the last and final warning as he sternly eyed her.

"Fine. I'm telling mom." She pouted.

"Fine. Go ahead." He disputed.

She finally removed herself from his bed and left his room not closing it behind her. Phai pulled off his earphones looping around his neck tossing his cd player at his pillow and swung his legs from is bed to go up and close his door his sister purposely left open for him.

"Phai go play with your sister!" he heard his mom shout. It was like his sister to get what she wanted. Mostly because she was the youngest and the only girl. The girls always get spoiled more.

"Fine!" He groaned languorously and searched through his closest for dirtier clothes suitable enough for the paddock.

"Thanks Phai!" Callista shouted as she hurried by his door to her room down the hall.

"Whatever, you spoiled brat." He muttered. Its not that he didn't want to hang out with his little sister but he tried to keep his distance from the block kids as much as possible. Most of the time they were playing outside or out in the fields. It was everyone's hanging spot.

His sister's smile couldn't have been any wider as she stepped out of the house with her brother who was holding her hand tight, pulling her along with him. He seemed to want the day to hurry up and made it seem like tomorrow was far away, something he was troubled about and it had to do with that Alex kid.

"Yay Phai I can't wait to go play. It's going to be so much fun!"

Callista was always hyped and ready for new adventures even if it meant gardening in there back yard or watering the lawn. She was wearing a cute brown and white dress with flowers hemmed at the edges and little boots with her brown hair up in two buns.

"Yea." He over and looked Cassy and his group of friends as they were jumping the fences that led to the back field.

The neighbor hood was a small neighbor hood, with very rich and classic styled homes. It was known for the wealthy people and ineptly peaceful environment considering kids played about it all the time. He saw Cassy look over at them and then smirked.

Phai sighed. "Fun for you but bored for me." His features were so mellow one would think he hated his life.

He had never liked any of the kids on the block. They always called him names, like the anti social boy or the smart kid or something else non clever. And they went to is school to top it all. But he still didn't know any of them quite that well and didn't plan too.

"Hi Phai!"

Phai looked to see who owned the voice and saw that it was Tolem. He was riding his bike around. "Oh, hey Tolem."

Tolem rode his bike next to them as they walked down the sidewalk. "Hi Callisto." He said submissively with a swanky smile.

"Hi Tolem." She replied politely smiling up at him.

"So what are you two doing?" the boy on the bike asked circling them.

Phai just wanted to lay and drowse a bit but no. "I have to take her out to play because she's not old enough to go out by herself."

"You mean to the fields. Pfft. There's nothing to worry about out there. We just have coyotes and snakes and I think a werewolf but that's it. Sometimes I hear him hollering at night."

Phai ignored how serious the boy was.

"There are no werewolves out there." Argued Callista biting back. "You're just trying to scare me."

"I've seen them."

"No you haven't."

"Yes."

She poked her tongue at the frizzy haired boy and he just smiled. "Anyway, my friends and I are headed there as well, you just wanna join us. We're going to play ball."

"No we are just going to go to the pond."

"Uh, I don't think so. Let's play with your friends." Callista flashed her eyelids at her brother with pleading big brown eyes.

"They are not my friends Callista!"

"Oh come Phai it will be fine." Interrupted Tolem watching Phais face drift from partially annoyed to extremely.

Phai looked to both Tolem and his sister giving him innocent eyes and piteous smiles.

"Sure, sounds like fun." He finally gave in replying with dull excitement still giving the hint he didn't want to have anything to do with them.

"Great, I'll see ya there. We'll meet by the neglected small house." Tolem rode off and Callista jumped with excitement.

"Hurry Phai let's go!"

"What are you excited about anyway? You don't even play ball." He asked, her coming off as flimsy.

"So. I'm excited to learn it."

"They're just going to tease you. They can be bullies."

"Tolem is nice." she stated.

"Yes, but the others are not. I'm just letting you know before you run home crying because the boys were being mean to you."

"I think I can handle it. You can so I think I can."

"Ah, this is going to be an annoying day." He whined.

They stopped at the gated fences and Callista shook her wrist swiftly from his hand not being able to wait much longer. Phai let it slip and let her go out running towards the group of older kids. He spied her carefully not being able to trust the others. A shuffle of frail winds passed by him and he closed his eyes for a brief second wondering if Alex was also going to be there.

He couldn't figure out why the boy was stuck in his head but for the life of him he couldn't get him out. He saw Tolem waving them over and shouting over to him. He sighed once more at the finalizing of going through with this.

* * *

><p>Cassy, Crater, Leon, Phil, and Perdicas stood in a line with baseball bats in there hands, blowing gum bubbles seeing who can get one the biggest. Roxanne sat on a little log watching the immaturity of them grow bigger and bigger. The more she saw them everyday at school the less amusing they got.<p>

Cassy won and immediately they all started to jump each other and wrestling around in the grass as twigs and what not attached to there rough boyish clothes.

Roxanne yawned and then sighed. She was still upset with Alex and would remain bored until he changed his mind and decided to show up.

The sun was setting slowly but it was still light outside, the skies turning pinkish orange and blending behind the narrow clouds. It was only slightly windy but the weather was nice enough for them to still play and have fun.

"Hi!"

Cassy pushed Phil off of him and stood up with a disgusted look on his face. He looked up and down the girl who rudely interrupted there playing time. He ripped grass from the ground and tossed it at her for laughs and giggles.

The young girl ignored it. "I'm Callista. What are you guys doing?" None answered and Roxanne glared at her like a snot. They saw Phai approaching.

"Cool, you made it." Said Tolem tossing a ball in the air and then catching it.

"You invited him?" asked Phil not caring if he said it loud enough as he looked to Phai and his sister. "Well hello Phai, I'm glad you can join us." He smirked wickedly and tapped the bat against his shoulder.

Phai didn't say anything and just placed his hands deep in his pockets, not sure whether it was because he was cold due to the wind or because his fists were clenched tight so that he didn't have to punch any of them in the face.

"I want Phai and Callista on my team." Claimed Tolem. The boys laughed at him.

"You want a girl on your team" Crater laughed. "My bad two girls on your team." He looked at Phai arrogantly. "Pfft. Roxanne might aswell join."

"Don't dog me out with these two." Roxanne folded her arms. It was obvious Phai and his sister were not worthy enough to be in her presence.

"Phai is good at ball, he's done it before." Tolem bragged for him.

"She probably doesn't even know what a ball is." Stood Crater dominating the little sun Callista had as he stepped in front of her. "We don't have time to teach you little girl."

"Back off Crater." The brunette boy replied composed with his hand on his little sister's shoulder. "Callista let's go to the pond then."

"Yea because at least there she might be actually able to swim." The boys started to laugh again accept Leon and Tolem, Leon being more behind the scenes and Tolem being more out front.

"Just let her play. We are not at the world cup. We are in the fields." The frizzy haired boy registered.

"She's probably never played ball in her life. Go play with your Barbie's and maybe your brother will join you." Teased Crater again.

Phai clenched his jaw and stared at Crater. His breath crowded down under his ribs but he controlled himself before he would explode. "Okay then we will just sit out. Come Callista."

"No I want to play."

"Callista just come."

Phai walked her over to the pond and they hopped into the boat roped and hooked to the deck so that it would keep it from sailing off. "We'll just sit and chill here." He looked at his sister who was looking unhappy with frowning eyes and a moping face. Phai lifted her chin and smiled shamefully. "What, I told you they were mean."

"I know, I know." Her little fists hit at her knee.

He smiled and pattered her leg. "Relax a bit, they aren't worth it." He assured her through his secure big brother tone.

"You don't have any other friends or something."

He just shrugged honestly too tired to even care to think about it. "No." His eyes closed again.

* * *

><p>Alex had seen his friends go out to play but when he saw that Phai was going he decided he might just go.<p>

_Let's see, let's see, where to begin. I was a shy boy can you tell. Until I met Phai my personality changed like the world changes seasons. Fact. He was everything to me. Truth. I owned his heart. Honestly. I did not want to share him with anybody. I didn't like him looking at anybody and I didn't want him looking at anybody. I was selfish deep down and still am. But that's how much I love him. When I saw him heading to the meadows with the rest of the kids, for some strange reason my veins began to pump. Maybe if I became more like my friends, then maybe he would notice me more?_

_Before my dreams came into play, I was confident, crazy, and ambitious. But my visions had a way of destroying a young boy's life almost completely. I am grateful that I have at least until my high school year to live but what's in that for me. I die and then what. What happens to Phai. Even if I do succeed in getting him as mine, is that not me hurting him because I leave him behind in the world._

_I say I know everything about him and him me, but till this day I still don't know his exact feelings when he discovered my time of death. I never told him about it. Was that the right thing to do, or was that me being deceitful. _

Roxanne watched Crater hit the ball hard and the boys ran to go chase it.

She saw Alex approaching. She tried not to smile.

"Oh so you've decided to show up?"

"Yea, I'm here."

"Well I'm glad."

His dark eyes aimed over at Phai sitting at the pond playing with his sister. He smiled. "Yea I am too."

Callista and Phai looked over when they heard all the boys shouting and saw that the reason for it was because the blonde neighbor showed up.

"Isn't that our neighbor? Why don't we ever talk to him?" she asked looking to Phai concerned after having a brief time in watching the group of friends having more fun than them.

"How am I supposed to know why we don't talk to him? You can go on ahead."

"Mom always talks about him coming for dinner. They never see his parents home. I think he's a vampire because sometimes I see him taking walks at night or his bedroom light is always on."

Phai smirked. "And how do you know all of this."

"Because I can see his room from my bedroom window." She said over the defensive. "I'm not a stalker okay." Assuming that's what he was getting at with his response.

He glanced at the blonde and then back at his sister removing the locks falling in his face as the wind came in stronger. "If someone told you that they found you interesting what would you say back?"

"I would hug them and kiss them forever." Callista replied using her hair clip to carve in the wood of the boat not concerned at all with the sudden question.

"Uh yea this is a little different little sis." He was definitely not going to hug and kiss Alex for saying something like that.

"I don't know. The natural thing would to say thank you." She replied openly.

"What does that even mean? Interesting? It makes me sound a bit odd or awkward, you know?"

"I would feel special if someone told me that. I can't wait for the day till someone tells me that. That would be the first person I would date."

"I would have to kill anyone who dates you. Boys can be vain sister, just be careful and don't think about that special someone yet. Wait until you are old enough."

She just shrugged. Being in a relationship wasn't really on her mind anyway but she was anxious for Phai. "Do you have a special someone yet? Can't wait to play with her and make birthday cakes for when you have a little baby."

"I'm in middle school, barely hitting high school. I don't have time to think about that or care." He responded to her absurd future planning.

"You don't like the girls at school then?"

"The girls at the school screech a lot. They are not my type."

"What's your type?" she finished carving a heart in the boat and blowing the sawdust away.

"Never really thought about it. I just know screeching girls are not." She smiled broadly and he grinned looking at her.

"Oh come on Phai, do you like pretty girls, do you like good smelling ones, funny, loud? There has to be something you want in someone. Or else you're just going to get what you get and that can't be any fun."

"Looks don't concern me much;"

"And?"

"And this is awkward to discuss with you."

"Whatever. Sooner or later mom might want you to give me the sex talk."

"I hope the kids don't talk to you about sex in second grade." he looked shocked.

"They talk about it all the time." He frowned and his sister gave him an innocent smile. "Don't worry about it; I'm not one of them. Anyway back to you. I think you deserve someone very special."

"I just want someone who will love me more than this world. I want someone who I could trust to share my heart with. But believe me little sis, seeing this world today there is no such thing as that special someone."

"I bet you there is."

"I bet not."

"I bet yes."

"No."

"Oh, oh and oh! You should take me to school with you tomorrow and we can go hunting for that special someone." She almost leaped from the boat soaring with exhilaration.

"Callista I am not going to find that person in middle school. We all have a bit of growing up to do first."

"Kill my joy why don't ya."

/

_The TV light flashed within my cold eyelids and a deep roaring rummaged through my young head. I saw like it appeared right before me, the blonde king kneeling at the foot of the bed taking his lovers hand into his own and kissing each. The words were echoed but there. The picture was somewhat indistinct but still there._

_**You have me looking everywhere for you Hephaistion.**_

_The general sits calmly looking at his friend with the deepest love._

_**I've been here Alexander. I haven't moved. **_

_**But I checked here. I swear it. I've checked everywhere in the whole kingdom.**_

_The king appears to be nonspecific and his hands are shaky. His strong eyes are fighting to keep his lover in focus. _

_**Your mind is playing tricks on you again. That's what happens when you indulge in wine Alexander. You become unsteady. It worries me. Much more than usual I'm afraid. **_

_**I don't mean to worry you.**_

_**It makes you feel good and I understand that. **__He cups the blonde mans cheeks. __**But sometimes enough is enough. **_

_**I will stop, I promise.**_

_The general laughs softly and shakes his head.__** No you won't my king. It's too much for you to think about now. Come to bed with me.**_

_The king watches as the general stands and slips himself of his clothing. __**Alex are you coming or are you staring again.**_

_**I'm following.**_

_He stands catching his drunken footing. Hephaistion guides him the rest of the way. _

_\_

_I never felt fear before; I think the only fear being to lose Phai. My death would be one thing but his, his death is everything. He takes care of me, when I do not seek it. He loves me when I do not see it. He finds me when I am too blind to find him._

"Maybe I am the one who is blind." Alex spoke. He felt a wet liquid by his fingers. He lifted his hand from the counter. Glass was scattered, broken pieces were everywhere and water was spilling over the counter top. He must have let his cup slip out of his hand.

"Just great." His visions even left him little room for what was real. He was going to go mad he swore it if they kept appearing to him in the awkward of times. While cleaning up the mess he heard the sound of the door bell ring.

He didn't want to be there or that's what he told himself but Callista decided to run her big mouth and tell their parents about the boy next door. His mother thought it a good idea to invite him over sometime so that they could get to know him more. After all they had been neighbors for sometime now. She told them it was the right thing to do.

The brown haired boy tried to look more normal when he heard the door opening. "Hey?" Phai said unflinchingly even though his body was somewhat tense.

Alex wasn't expecting him. "Uh hey." Infact he didn't know who he was expecting. Just not him, Tolem maybe or Roxanne.

Randomly they both fidgeted as everything around them roamed in stillness and Phai couldn't take it anymore. His mind staggered when he saw the different colors of the boy's eyes. He never noticed it in school and something about it turned him very mystic.

"So listen, my mother noticed that you are always home alone and she wanted to invite you tomorrow evening for dinner."

Alex blinked consuming in the realistic ness of this event.

"You came to tell me that this late."

"Its eight o clock Alex, it's not that late."

"Oh sorry, I thought it was midnight."

Phai studied the awkward boy. It was strange, the purely physical sense he got just by being within feet of him.

Alex cleared his throat this time seeing the other boy staring and not him this time. "Uh actually my parents said they would be home tomorrow."

"Okay."

"And I'm not always alone." Alex lied.

"Well tell that to my mother if you ever decide to come over."

_One trait I still had that I could arguably compare with the blonde in my dreams. When challenged we often let pride take us over and well it did and it did its job perfectly. I was the loneliest person I knew and why I lied to Phai about that I have no idea. Maybe I didn't want anyone's pity or attention. But then again what was I thinking. It was Phai for goodness sake. He was the one who recovered me from my pride and arrogance. Shy versus Coward versus Pride. What's next?_

Phai felt infamy all of a sudden, thinking he let it sound like he actually was inviting him to come over.

"So did you have fun tonight?" Alex brought up rubbing the back of his head, messing up his blonde hair.

"Yes because having a deep conversation in a boat with my sister is fun." He slyly joked.

They both shared a smile. "Sorry about that, they can jerks sometimes."

"Are you home alone now?" the question unexpectedly skidded from the brown haired boys lips.

"Yea, why?"

"No reason."

"Actually I just wanted to apologize for being a bit rude to you at school the other day."

"I guess I shouldn't have been staring."

"As much as you do stare I don't think your ever going to get over that habit."

"If it makes you uncomfortable I will stop, I just sometimes don't even know I'm doing it."

"I'm fine with it; I just wanted to know the reason."

"If you seen me doing it why ask me now after three years?" Alex finally felt the knot untie in his stomach, throat and heart.

Phai blushed but held his smile well. "Because my parents always taught me never to speak with strangers. And you were strange to me. Not a bad strange though, just interesting I guess."

"Phai mom says come tuck me into bed!" Phai quickly turned away from the blonde boy hiding his embarrassment of both his sister and his confession and decided to leave it at that. "I will see you later." He hurried back to his house taking his sister who was waving at Alex then shut off the porch light.

"Goodnight then." said Alex.

"Goodnight." Phai replied back.

_Rare days like this sneak up on you about a hundred and thirty eight times in your whole entire life. From birth until death. Nobody until creation. A bottle of milk until an old walking cane. _

_This was the rarest day of my life and even deep within my eyesight as stronger images maintain the cells in my head, nothing beats the first time in eerie reality that you actually had a decent conversation and a comfortable one with the most treasured person you will ever, ever know. A treasure so buried deep in the heart that you can not possibly unleash until the original heart has died out. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Four**

**/**

After that day, the next day became a bit more awkward. The interactions with those two had gotten only a little better. They would pass by in the hall and Phai would actually look at him this time, with smiles, and saying some hellos. That was it but it was a start.

_All day at school we stole glances at each other making even ourselves uncomfortable. We bumped into each other in the hall at least three times, one time him not even realizing it was me again. And it wasn't like it was on purpose but the halls were crowded and we had to work with the little space we had. We had another short conversation, but so far the most sincere one. I think he knew I liked him he just couldn't figure it out yet. From what I've seen of his smiles, which grew much more intimate he must have had something in his guts to think that I was the one who was going to share his heart with him. Its funny when everyone other than yourself seems to know how you feel which you dot even realize yourself. My friends hinted about my affection towards Phai and joked about I, more of it coming form Cassy and Tolem and even sometimes Roxanne. They didn't know for sure how I felt but they assumed something. _

_Roxanne I knew had the biggest crush on me and she literally went around the school telling everyone she and I were dating. I might as well have been. I just went along with it because I wasn't sure even for us. She was cute, stubborn, strong minded, and smart but she was everything I hate in a girl. Rude, Dramatic. Jealous and sometimes tricky. I do not like tricky people. My mother is sly. I do not like that feeling. My father he could be clever as well. Pranks and surprises bothered me so much and I still don't know why._

_Still even though the days had been getting better between Phai and I, two problems I seemed to be having was knowing how he felt about me. That was something of a surprise I guess. I just wanted to know. Actually that's probably why I don't like the fact that clever and cunning people are everywhere. Phai he was cunning but not in a bad way. Instead of cunning I say he was more observant of everything around him which made him who he was. He was quiet himself and didn't speak unless coaxed and he created such a wall where no one could enter unless that person was worth his time. And no one seemed worth his time. _

_The second problem was Cassy hanging around him all the time, teasing him. Teasing he did but I saw something different. I saw flirting. Now I didn't quite understand how flirting was like, because I never flirted before. Girls flirted with me but me I never connected in that case of expertise, women only seemed to be good at. _

_But Cassy had a different kind of flirting and a sly way of doing it. That was putting Phai down in order to make himself look good. How is that flirting? Because half the girls in school always fall for the boys who pick on them. I guess it's some kind of weird attraction. Have you noticed many women in abusive relationships and can't seem to get away from it. I know because that's; how my parents are. The cheating type, the angry type, the beating type but something still attracts them to each other. It's like a sin. We do it, we love it, but we hate it because we suffer at the end of our time because of it. _

_But then again Phai is not a weak little girl. He is a boy. He is mine. Jealousy, lust, love, anger, fear, death, and any type of feeling or emotion is everything I want to share with him myself and nobody else and if I have to fight Cassy for him, I will. _

* * *

><p>It was the last class period and gym class was up. Alex watched his friends swim from where he was sititng at the benches.<p>

The students in the class pretty much consisted of the neighbor hood kids including four girls he didn't even know or talk to. They all met at the swimming pool. The teacher blew his whistle and the students gathered, the girls on the opposite side of the boys, girls stood in black whole pieces while the boys stood in small black Speedos. The whistle went off again and the girls each took a lane, the couch wanting them to go first with the exercises.

Phai, Cleitus and Roxanne were the best swimmers of the league. Alex did not swim. He could swim but he hated water. He hated the thought of drowning and perhaps dying before it was his actual time. However he always enjoyed watching Phai swim despite the boy never speaking with him.

Alex sat off to the side pretending he was there for Roxanne and the rest of his friends. Roxanne waved to him once she finished with her backstrokes and he waved back.

The coach whistled again. The girls left the water and it was the boys turn. The boys had been more elite than the girls so the coach expected more from them. Roxanne always argued how sexist the coach was and even tried to get him fired by complaining to the principal about it.

_What can I say about Roxanne? Well she was very outspoken, speaking her mind whenever she had the chance and whenever no one wanted to hear it. No one took her as seriously as she took herself. She always wanted things her way, and that's why I couldn't last with her, because I was the same. Always wanting things my way and no one else's. Some personalities can collide and that's why I wanted someone who could be worthy of being my other half. I want that person to be everything I am not. _

The boys lined up each claiming a lane and Phai smiled at the blonde boy before putting on his goggles. The teacher had them doing freestyle swimming. He sounded the whistle and the boys hit the water. They were to race back and forth seven laps.

"On my whistle, stop!" the coach shouted.

Alex watched Phai gracefully stroke through the water. He was as calm and focused as usual and getting his laps done before everyone else. Alex stole a glance at all the girl swimmers who also had crushes on Phai cheering him on and swaying and going on about him being the hottest person in school. He wasn't the only one who had a crush on him so it seemed and other girls would flirt with him all the time even though he never really acknowledged them. They were girls though and how was Alex to compete with them? He didn't have a chest he could bust out or sexy legs he could strut.

_Phai never saw anyone the same way they saw him. They thought him pretty and he though himself normal. They thought him shy and he thought him self outspoken. They thought him plain easy to get but he thought himself plain hard to get. He was the opposite of everybody. Not once had I seen him hiding behind lockers waiting for a girl with a hot body to pass by. It just wasn't his style or what he was looking for. _

_But I was glad Phai wasn't the one who had most of the attention_.

_Yes girls swooned for him and talked about how cute he was but luckily there was another option and that was Cleitus Black. Cleitus was fifteen and good looking. He had the girls crawling after him following his scent. All the girls loved him. All the boys looked up to him. Now I bet your wondering why a sixteen year old is doing in middle school. Because sad to say, he was held back because he managed to fail several course classes previously. It wasn't because he was stupid, because he wasn't. Black was very smart. But what he had told me was that he wasn't the dedicated kind and then left it at that. I still don't know what that means. I guess it was his choice. He might have been ditching classes or hanging out with the wrong crowds, the crowd being highschoolers or decided he was going to be lazy and not finish, but other than that he was pretty cool and he I were very close mostly because my father loved him. _

"Hey?" The spiky blacked haired teen sat next to Alex on the bench, chewing on some gum then spitting it out in a wrapper, crinkling it up and shoving it in his pocket.

He wore leather jackets all the time and baggy pants.

"Hey Cleitus." Greeted Alex smiling.

"So I heard Roxanne is having a birthday party next week. Are you going?"

"Do I have a choice?" Alex literally felt locked in a prison as Roxanne was always on his back.

"I'm going for the cake and ice-cream. She can find her present elsewhere because I got no money." Black admitted frankly bobbing his head to the music that was playing through the speakers.

"Yea about that what should I get her?" Alex wasn't familiar with things girls like.

"I wouldn't get her anything that involves diamonds because rumors are already going around that you two are dating and well that wouldn't look to good especially if the rumors aren't true. So... I would get her like hairspray or bubblegum machine. You know something that girls like."

"Girls don't like boys to give them hairspray. She's going to throw a fit about how I think she needs to do her hair or something."

"How about you go ask Thais. She's a girl she could help you know what girls like."

"Nah, Thais is more tom boyish. She's going to suggest a weapon or a lighter. She likes burning things."

"Well then your screwed Alex." Cleitus and Alex then saw there friends had already dried up and changed into normal clothes approaching him.

"Ask Cassy." The blacked haired boy suggested. "He seems to know a lot."

"Yea too much." replied Alex watching Cassy eyeing Phai from across the pool.

* * *

><p>"Mom can you turn down the music, I'm trying to talk to Phai!" Callista politely shouted to get her moms attention as oldies music was blasting in the car on their way home from school.<p>

Their mom had a routine. Since Callista's classes got out first she would stop by to pick her up and while they waited for Phai they would go out for a quick ice cream.

"Sure honey." She turned down the music. Phai looked at his sister regretting he forgot his CD player.

"What do you want this time?"

"I was going to ask you how school was and if you searched for someone special yet?"

"I told you, I'm not looking."

"What are you two talking about?" the mom asked curious overhearing them.

"Nothing." Replied Phai.

"Mom don't you think Phai needs to start dating. He's so boring at home all the time."

"Be nice to your brother. I don't want him dating because that means he's growing up and I don't want my little munchkins to grow up."

"Case closed Callista. I win."

"But mom don't you want grand kids." She said ignoring her brother and kicking the back of Phais' seat.

"Good point and yes I do." The mom answered.

"Okay then Callista how about when you go to middle school next year you can find someone." Phai suggested hoping she would stop bothering him about it.

"Blah, boys have cooties."

Phai didn't even know why he spoke to his sister about love to begin with. He thought it the biggest mistake of his life. He should have just told her love didn't exist but that would break her heart. She still had time to grow up and find that person. He shouldn't ruin it for her because he hadn't found that person.

"Callista do you even know what cooties are?" he asked.

"Something nasty. So when are you going to date?"

Phai rolled his eyes. "Callista I will start dating when I feel like it okay. Drop it please."

"Fine."

They pulled up to the driveway and Callista and Phai got out the car in a hurry. Callista rushing to go play with her dolls and Phai rushing just to get away from Callista.

"Phai sorry I didn't check the mail today, can you please go and bring it in." Their mom asked while stepping into the house trying to calm down Callista who was jumping around everywhere with her backpack still attached to her.

"Sure."

"Phai if there is anything for me bring it to my room please!" Callista shouted out the door. It was a wonder why no one liked them.

Phai simply smiled thinking no one would want to write to her for the fear of what she might write back. It would be twenty pages of scrambled words. They recently found out she was dyslexic so that's why they have her in a special schooling with teachers who would take their time with her.

Phai spotted his blonde neighbor walking up to his drive way, hands in his pockets; head down like he was thinking about something. Phai always smiled at how the boy could be so isolated some days like he wanted nothing to do with the world but attentive other days.

"Hey Alex."

Alex looked up at him and immediately he was in good spirits smiling diffidently with slight attraction. "Hi Phai." Like always he never wanted the conversation to end just there. "So are you going to Roxanne's party?" He already knew the answer, it was just a good topic bringer.

Phai frowned. "Wasn't invited." He began flipping through the letters in his hand and noticed Alex looked like he felt bad about it. The browned haired boy just shrugged "Its okay, I don't want to go anyway. I hope you have fun though."

"I'll try."

Phai and Alex both turned when they saw both Alex's parents pull up into the drive way in their expensive cars. Phai frowned when he heard both of them arguing once stepping out.

Alex flushed embarrassed at the lack of manners they had.

"Oh Alex who's this?" asked his mother glaring at the boy with a suitcase in her hand a phone in the other while the dad was searching through his car for something.

"He's my next door neighbor."

Phai smiled and said greeted her very modestly.

She looked unimpressed. "Oh…okay then." She walked off into the house and Phillip remained on his phone passing by them both with no acknowledgment.

"Is that awkward for you? Your parents being both home?' asked Phai feeling somewhat bad for him.

"A little. Sometimes I wish they would be home on separate days."

"Do they fight all the time?" Phai knew it was none of his business but he couldn't help but be interested and certain.

The blonde just nodded hating to admit it himself but had no problem admitting it to him. What was Phai going to think now that he discovered his parents were way less normal than his own family. "I'm not even saying this to be rude but are you sure you don't want to come over. You can anytime if you want."

Alex grinned. "Thanks, but its best if I'm home when they are. They could kill each other."

"Well just for a heads up my mom is going to keep bothering me about inviting you over, so the sooner you come the better."

They both shared a small laugh.

"Okay. I'll keep that in mind." The blonde responded back.

They both went into their houses.

* * *

><p>"Now that I got a close up, our neighbor is cute." Callista squealed at the table and proceeded to pop peas in her mouth missing every time.<p>

Phai smiled tiny and then picked at his food. "Mom Callista needs a dog or some pet to keep her occupied so she doesn't bother me anymore."

"Phai that is the best idea since macaroni and cheese!" Callista was excited and started listing all the pets she wanted giving each a name.

"Thanks for putting the idea in her head.' the mom replied to Phai who was still smiling about something.

"Don't you think he's cute Phai?"

The daydreaming boy didn't register the question at first until his sister repeated it.

"Why would I think another boy is cute Callista?"

"I dunno."

"Speaking of him, Phai have you invited him over yet?" the mom asked merely.

"Yes, twice."

"He refuses?"

"Seems that way."

"He's probably just shy. You know how young boys can be." The mom waved it off and took a bite of her food.

"I think if I go and invite him he might just come." Callista suggested.

"Yes you and your charming personality?" Phai joked and Callista poked her tongue at him.

The mom dropped her fork in sudden back track."Oh Phai I almost forgot to tell you, Tolem wants you to go with him to Roxanne's party. He came by earlier today before leaving for school."

"I wasn't invited though." The boy replied mellow.

"Well she told him to invite his friends so you're his friend aren't you?"

"Yes but not hers." The boy cringed at the thought of Roxanne. She was definitely not a likeable person.

"She's mean." Said Callista nodding dramatically, Phai agreeing with her.

"All the better reason to show up." The mom encouraged with a tricky smile, and then humming before standing to clear her plate. Phai and Callista smiled to each other.

"I will think about it." Phai replied.

The mom turned to him with her hand on her hip. "Okay well if Tolem shows up to my house because you refused to go I won't be happy."

* * *

><p>"So I hear your friend Tolem talking about a party at Roxanne's Alex?" Olympias reinformed.<p>

"Yes."

"Don't go son. Worse case is kids are going to get drunk and lose their virginity." His father Phillip pointed his fork at his son giving what he thought was good advice.

"Its middle school dad."

"That didn't stop me. Back in my day, kids your age were doing all kinds of sick stuff."

"Who is this boy who lives next to us?" Olympias desperately dropped the subject.

"His name is Phai." Alex responded monotone.

"Oh..." She proceeded to chew her food. "He looks very… neutral." She sniggered like a cat.

"Is their reason why we don't talk to our next door neighbors?" Asked Alex. He felt it was about time to know. "We didn't even invite them to our open house or introduce ourselves."

"Why is it our job to do that honey? We were the new people. They should have introduced themselves." Olympias answered sipping from her wine glass.

They remained quiet the rest of the dinner until his father got a phone call disrupting the silence. He checked to see the caller and ignored it putting it back in his pocket.

Olympias glared. "Was that the office Phillip? Or was that a new girl you're cheating on me with?" She smirked devilishly.

Phillip gulped his wine down and slammed the glass on the table. "Even if it were another I wouldn't tell you witch."

_Whenever my parents were home, my head ached even more than usual. If anything were to kill me it would have been them. I am a sane kid with insane parents. But now all I wanted to do was jump off a fucking cliff. No child should feel the need to take there own life because their parents were too selfish to each other and to realize that I was in pain. _

_I was a trooper. Never whined, or complained. First, there was no one to complain to and second there was no point because my problem couldn't be fixed. My high tolerance was another gift I suppose. Even if I did tell my mom and dad what was wrong with me they wouldn't believe one word. Who dies of lack of sleep? It sounds like a joke. I could see my dad laughing his ass off and my mom just shrugging telling me to take some sleeping pills. _

Alex went upstairs after hearing enough of his mother and father fighting about the phone call. He then decided he would take Phai up on his offer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Five**

**/**

**/**

_**Alexander…**_

_**Alexander…**_

_**Alex…**_

_The name echoed in his head as his lover stood by his bed encouraging the king to awaken. His eyelids twitched but still they did not react._

_**Alexander your people need you. **_

_The man stayed asleep._

_**Get up love.**_

_**Get up Alex…**_

_The beautiful general touches his lips to his king's soft ones and slowly the blonde man opens his eyes, playing upon him a childish smirk followed by a childish chuckle. _

_**I'm awake Hephaistion. What is it that you need?**_

_The king whispers lovingly sparing himself the much love he was already feeling as his general kissed him more. _

_**Your people need you. Stop teasing me Alexander.**_

_**Do they need me as much as you do?**_

_The general shakes his head. __**No. I need you much more.**_

_**Do I need them as much as I need you?**_

_The general shakes his head and brown hair spreads across the kings' smooth but hard battled chest as his lover lays much more wet kisses down his stomach.__** You need me much more.**_

_**\**_

Alex felt someone gently push him from behind.

"Alex you're holding up the lunch line." Roxanne annoyingly voiced as the boy was unresponsive.

He slowly looked behind him and smiled evilly. "Whoops." He continued to move leaving the other kids angry. He sighed. Another day at school and he still wasn't exactly quite where he wanted to be with Phai but he also knew patience was a virtue. All in good time he thought. Accept the king in his dreams had no patience and maybe he was approaching this situation way to slow.

He saw Tolem talking to Phai and the rest of his friends crowded at another table.

"Oh it's the loser's table." said Roxanne smiling talking to Alex. "Anti social much." She continued dissing the brunette haired boy.

Alex followed after her as she approached the table seeing Cassy, Crater and Phil teasing Phai once more and Leon doing his best to tell them to leave him alone.

Phai only sat calmly in his chair eating his sandwich not looking up at the boys who he could hear teasing him.

Phil, the dirty blonde haired boy smiled and turned to Phai leaning his chair back. "Hey Phai, did your mom pack your lunch?"

The boy didn't answer.

"Are you deaf?" asked Crater annoyed because he seemed unbothered.

He still didn't reply. Cassy smirked his green eyes piercing like a snake strikes.

"Oh Phai, I got something of yours."

Phai then glared at him always Cassy being the one to get on his nerves more than the rest.

Cassy removed from his pocket the lock to Phais' locker.

"How did you get that Cassy?" Phai asked standing from his seat.

"I memorized your locker number." Cassy replied hiding it behind his back after stepping up to Phai with an accountable look to his face proud that everyone knew he was the one to blame.

"Can I have it back please?" Phai folded his arms and dared to challenge staring back at Cassy with his deep blue eyes. He even asked nicely, not like that it would turn Cassy into a sudden angel with wings and hand them over.

Cassy always struck one of his nerves but he wasn't afraid of him.

"Uh no I think I might hold onto it." Cassy smirked again and placed the lock back into his pocket while Crater and Phil were laughing about it.

Roxanne first gave Phai a stuck up look before sitting down with the others with her tray of food.

Leon and Tolem shook their heads thinking this all pointless.

"Just let him be." Said Leon abruptly only to be laughed at like it was the stupidest thing they heard. Leon just shook his head and went back to eating.

"Hand it back to him Cassy." The voice was stern and demanding.

They didn't notice the voice but when they looked up they saw Alex looking at them with a harmful look in his eyes but with a smile that they didn't understand.

Cassy laughed and then slumped in his chair testing Alex. "Why?" he questioned as Alex didn't act like his normal self or what they thought was his normal self.

"Because I said so." Alex walked up to him holding out his hand just giving Cassy a dangerous smile that he wouldn't have expected coming from a middle schooler. This was more of a high school 'I am going to shove you in the locker' smile.

Cassy grinned, reached into his pocket and gave Alex the locker.

Alex handed it to Phai and looked back toward his group of friends. "I'll be back."

Roxanne had eyes wide open mouth dropped and the rest looked around at each other not expecting Alex to be so commanding with his approach.

"That was unexpected." Leon uncomfortably mentioned.

Roxanne glared as she saw him walk with Phai.

Alex went to go sit with Phai at the table, the brown haired boy stunned just as much as the others.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." Said Alex seriously, no shyness, smiles nothing that could have gave him a personality.

"Uh ..kay." Phai looked at him eyes a little traumatized still.

"So I had this dream and I need your advice about something."

"Okay." Phai munched on his sandwich a little still looking at Alex.

"What do you think about reincarnations?"

"I never think about that." The boy finished nibbling.

"Do you think it's possible?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Because, I think it's possible." Alex finally smiled, but it wasn't the shy boy smile. It was more mature.

It made Phai blush. "Did you have an epiphany or something?" he wished he hadn't finished his sandwich to distract him from staring at the blondes intense eyes.

Alex just nodded his head a smirk playing about his mouth. "What do you think of love?"

"Alex I am too young to be thinking about love." The conversation of love always seemed to be mentioned around him.

"You're never too young." Alex said eyes moving towards Phais' lunch. "Is that all you brought was a sandwich?"

"Yes!" Phai replied defensively. "I thought I wasn't going to be hungry."

"You can have my lunch. I haven't had much of an appetite for anything anyway."

"Okay...uh.. thank you."

Alex scooted his lunch towards the boy and smiled again.

Phai shifted, the blonde boy working his nerves. "Okay what do you think about it?" he asked Alex this time.

"I think its pointless and a waste of time?" Alex lied with a smile.

"Oh really?"

"Yea unless of course you could prove me wrong."

"Why are you asking me? Can't your parents give you advice."

Alex looked at him seriously. "Do my parents in any shape or form look like they know about love?"

Phai smiled remembering the brief moment of his parents arguing and it definitely wasn't a lover's quarrel. "I guess not. But what makes you think I know anything about it."

"I just want your opinion." he asked truthfully.

"Okay Alex here's what I think." Phai leaned up close to him. "I think love is pointless, it annoys me and I can never seem to find anyone that I am attracted to. Your turn."

"I think love is not pointless, it never annoys me and I just happened to find that one person I am attracted to."

"Roxanne?" Phai smirked forebodingly looking over at her.

Alex shook his head. "No."

"Who?"

"Someone in my dreams."

"So a fantasized person?"

They both laughed softly.

"Yea. I wish he were real though." Alex finally admitted even though it wasn't direct enough for Phai to know who he was actually talking about.

"He?" Phai blew a string of hair out his face with a smile fighting to curve.

"Uh huh." Alex nodded looking a little spaced out.

Phai laughed. "My god you are weird today. It makes me wonder how you're going to be like as a teenager."

"I never thought about it. But who knows? I might not live that long." Alex leaned back into his chair and giving Phai a quick shallow smile his eyes suddenly turning gloomy.

Phai moved the food to the side so he could lean in closer. Everyting about him turned somber. "Alex, we all live forever. When you find that right person you will always be with them. Death isn't even important. It's just a figment of reality that we all will succeed one day. It's there just as much as life. We are living through life which is hell. If life right now is hell then what is death? Death is heaven."

He tried to hold in a laugh seeing Alex nodding like he didn't understand him but agreed to it anyway.

"Thanks that's all I needed to know." the blonde replied.

"Your welcome."

* * *

><p>"Alex hold up!" said Roxanne running down the hall to catch up with the boy.<p>

"Hey Roxanne." He said smiling once she caught up to him.

"Don't hey Roxanne me. What was that back there? You never came to our table to eat with us."

"Sorry I had to talk to Phai about something."

"Something you couldn't talk to me about?" she stopped infront of him placing her hand on his chest.

"It's not a big deal Roxanne. I don't have to tell you everything." He told her hoping she would understand.

"I just don't understand why you would hang out with him instead of us."

"He's pretty nice. Maybe you guys should get to know him more instead of teasing him all the time."

Roxanne rolled her eyes with the disgrace of Alex's comment. "Cassy has been telling me something."

"Oh yea and what is that."

"He says that you have a crush on Phai, that's why you're staring at him all the time."

Alex turned tense and his eyes shown he was angry. "Roxanne let me lecture you about something. A crush is something that people eventually get over in their lives. A crush is nothing compared to what it is mimicking. It's nothing compared to the real thing. A crush is not love. A crush is supposed to be forgettable, something incorrectly fantasized. It's just feelings towards one person you can not have ever. I do not have a crush on Phai because he is not forgettable."

Alex then left the hall leaving Roxanne upset again.

* * *

><p><em>India, fourth day<em>

Hephaistion was feeling himself doing the pacing back and forth Alexander had gotten him hooked on. It made his thinking much quicker. But he didn't know what he was thinking about. Cassander had told him to move on and love someone else but he would never have thought about letting his Alexander go even in death. The picture of Alexander being buried dead was just as bad as him being buried alive. Alexander, who was his friend for a lifetime. Alexander, who was the first to ever speak to him. The king, who was his lover and would die for him, He simply couldn't think of anyone else he could possibly fall for that would die for him and put everything away just to put him first.

"Hephaistion?"

The brunette general quickly looked over at the voice of the person and calmed when he saw Leonnatus.

"Yes Leonnatus?"

"I hate to tell you this but since Craterus thinks he's in charge since Alexander is not able to rule, he wants you to eat and drink something and possibly go back to your tent to get proper sleep."

Hephaistion could tell the sandy haired general didn't want to give him the news. He knew he had been uptight lately and fidgety because of no sleep or any food and had been making the generals suffer because of it. He was pale in the face, eyes rimmed red from crying and no rest and his body had gotten thinner. Alexander was out already for four days not getting better or worse.

The generals all would come in some days and pray that the gods save him somehow but Hephaistion had been there and never left so it was a shock to the blue eyed general that they cared about his health, even Craterus who he hated and despised most.

"Tell him I'm fine and if he would like too he could come tell me him self so he's gets the message." His voice was brutal and then continued his pacing.

Leonnatus politely left the general alone and walked out the tent with Perdicas and Ptolemy standing right outside. Ptolemy was the first to ask how he was only getting a sorrowful shake of the head from Leonnatus.

"He's not doing well. You can see it almost clearly."

Ptolemy and Perdicas looked to each other. "Then what do we do. Are we going to force him to eat?" Perdicas questioned thinking of another way to encourage the stubborn general.

"Hephaistion is not like Alexander. He will eventually eat something," replied Ptolemy certainly." He just needs time."

"Yea until it's too late!" Perdicas responded harshly. "He's not himself and needs to eat something."

They heard footsteps approaching and noticed Roxanne was dressed in her red nightgown with a tray of food. "I wish to give this to Hephaistion."

The generals bowed respectively and let her pass through the tent. Ptolemy not trusting her so he waited by the tent incase of something.

Hephaistion frowned irritated that people kept coming through the tent. "What is it?" he asked completely bothered.

"Am I not welcomed in my own husband's tent?" she answered viciously.

The general glared at her. "What do you want?"

"I've come to give you some refreshments and to look at my beautiful king." She hissed and set the tray down on the desk.

The general ignored her words and pried on her as she gracefully moved to Alexander's side. She took his hand and kissed it looking up at the general who was watching her do it. "Love can be confusing can't it?' she asked.

"Love is no more confusing than the evil that makes it that way."

"Are you calling me evil you little brat. I love Alexander more than anyone ever could." She spat at him, eyes roaring like a panther. "He could bare me a child and he could not you. That's what makes me more of use than you."

She looked down at er king petting his face with little life. "Look at you." she whispered to the king.

"Does he love you though? He might not be able to grant me a child but he has nothing left for you. He feels nothing." the general replied accurately and pleasing to himself watching as she touched his king.

"How arrogant you are. You take my king away from me and then you try to tell me who he loves more." She laughed wickedly. "You're in denial. Who does he come to every night to make love to? How often did you see him enter your room? The night at the wedding I made him never forget my hate towards you as you stood there with my king sharing him a love ring and belittling me as your queen. How dare you?"

"You must not understand our bond then Queen Roxanne." The general looked down on her as he smoothly approached within inches of her. "We share something so much better than you and he."

She took her hand to slap him but he caught her glaring into dark eyes. "Get out of my sight and never come in unless I welcome you."

She had no words to say and left immediately. Hephaistion watched her go and when he knew she was gone for the night he went back to his pacing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Six**

**/**

"Can you believe what he said to me?" Roxanne complained to the rest of the boys as they tossed back and forth a foot ball.

Perdicas huffed warily and adjusting and twisting the hat on his head as he caught the ball Cassy threw to him. He threw it back. "Can you believe what he said to us? I swear he could have made the president bow to him with that tone."

The green eyed boy didn't say anything and chewed on his tongue examining the ball in his hands.

The friends were hanging out near the deserted shed after school. They hadn't even thought about inviting Alex after lunch and he probably wouldn't go anyway. Also his parents were home and that could have had a lot to do with their decision.

Roxanne threw a rock out into the field and growled as it didn't go as far as she had intended. How can Alex treat her that way she thought? What did she do to deserve that? "He should say sorry immediately!" she stomped as she sat on a log. She hit at the poor piece of wood under her.

"Oh hush Roxanne." Said Tolem who was sitting on the dirty grass ground picking at it next to Thais chuckling at the snotty girls fussy fit. "It's obvious he just doesn't like you guys picking on Phai all the time."

They saw a smirk appear on Cassy's face and looked to see where his evil eyes were turned. "Speaking of Phai, there he is with his sister." He acknowledged to Tolems dissapointment.

"Oh no not again." Leon mumbled watching Cassy run over to the path Phai and Callista were walking on always being the first to start trouble and the last to create more of it.

Phai and Callista heard the boy's loud footsteps behind them hitting the hard gravel and Phai stopped walking and faced the boy chewing gum and smiling. "What do you want this time Cassy?" He was in no mood today for Cassy and his insults. He held his sister's hand tight and she hid a little behind him peeking at the bully and doing her best to give him the evil eye.

Cassy snagged her a mean look and then looked back at Phai innocently. "No hard feelings about today in the lunch room eh?"

"I really don't care anymore."

"Well what if I said I was sorry."

Phai rolled his eyes. Even he knew Cassy wouldn't be sorry about anything. His reputation was too big for that. 'I know you are not sorry and I don't want your apology."

The bully eyed him curiously. "You know you never appeared to me as the unforgiving type."

"Then you look at me wrong. I don't care about you enough to forgive you or accept a stupid apology."

"You're only here to bug us, go away!" Callista told Cassy who didn't look like he would be going anywhere soon. His friends all came up and Tolem asked what Cassy was up to this time. Phai looked off shaking his head seeing Crater and Phil approaching. He was certainly not in the mood. He was just taking his sister for a walk because the day was nice.

"Aw Phai is wit his little sister again." Crater mocked in a gushy voice.

"How old are you Phai, three?" Phil asked snickering. He removed a string of his dirty blonde hair playing in his face and barked at Callista trying to scare her.

Callista came out from behind Phai and pointed her little finger at Phil. "I am not afraid of you!"

Phai smiled. She was definitely going to gain his personality when she gets older.

Phil angrily approached her and Phai blocked her from whatever attack the boy might have done and Leon held him back as Phil let out a very harsh breath glaring at her.

"She's just a girl!" Leon reminded him, thinking why he would charge up to a girl like that.

_Leon had a crush on my Phais' sister. It was way less obvious than my crush on Phai. Leon was a nice boy, always staying out of trouble and only interfering in something when he was needed or felt needed. He hung out with the wrong crowd, yes, but then again so did I. They were my friends. Phai was also my friend. I never understood why Crater and Phil were always mean to him. Even Roxanne disliked him for a reason untold but I am assuming it was jealousy. It turned out to be always jealousy with her. _

_I didn't hate any of them. I never had. Crater was my very first friend I met in school. Then it was Tolem and then came the rest almost the same day. My father was actually really good friends with Cleitus, Phil's and Craters families. They did business together and met each other in college. Then Phillip fell in love with Cleitus for some odd reason, probably because he loved his dad very much. _

_But never did any of them try to get to know Phais family. I hated that they were like that. It wasn't fair at all. It wasn't fair that they threw him off to the side because of some personal vendetta they had towards him, whatever the hell it was. Only Leon, Perdicas, Tolem and Cleitus tried to get to know him. We all later turned out to be a very, very awkward group of friends. Blood, sweat and tears is a good idea of us. _

Phil's hands fell away and he relaxed turning away from them and leaving off, followed by Crater. Phai glared hard at Cassy just waiting for him to leave with the rest of the dogs. Cassy eventually left but not without another famous smirk, Roxanne just rolling her eyes and treaded heavily after the others. Leon waved and smiled shyly at Callista and then told Phai bye and head off catching up with the others.

"Callista we are going to have to work out this new schedule when you want to go out for a walk again okay?"

"Okay Phai."

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>Alex lay on his bed staring up at the very white ceiling in his bedroom. It didn't interest him at all but he kept staring because he couldn't think of anything else to do. He could write or read but he feared if he concentrated that hard his headaches being caused by the awful growth in his brain, would get even worse.<p>

His mother had left an hour before he got home from school to go talk with her promotion manager about setting up an interview. His mom had been trying hard to get promoted; higher than what she was already at and this might have been the day she had been waiting for. She worked really hard, even leaving her own son behind just to move up to a better paying opportunity.

_We were rich, as it shows by our neighbor hood, with large houses, decks, some pools in the back yards and very nice and well kept gardens. But my parents were workaholics. They had to be busy. It was almost like a competition to see who can work the most and get killed by it first. Well that's how I saw it._

Alex had no idea where his father was. He never kept up with him with anything. He never called him or even felt comfortable enough to give him a call. It would be too weird for him because they weren't close anymore. Prior to the bad days, they would get along just fine, then later days Phillip would drink and get upset over just about anything blaming Alex for it all. The relationship was very unnatural and very undetermined.

The blonde boy got up from his bed bored doing what he was doing and moved around his desk opening up a drawer fishing for the keys to the front door. He decided he would go for a walk. The air was fresh and the sun was going to set soon. He tucked the keys into his pant pocket and left his room and down the stairs. Right before his hand gripped the knob his door bell rang. He hesitated for awhile, not even knowing why and then proceeded to open it.

"Hey Alex."

Alex smiled at the attractiveness that was his neighbor. Phai must have been blessed by more than one god to have such a face. "You should come play with us at the pond." Phai invited.

"Us". Alex didn't know who else he was talking about and then he pushed the door open all the way and saw the most adorable girl standing there with an obnoxious smile.

"This is my sister Callista. She's been dying to meet you." Phai said sarcastically.

"Oh hi Callista." Alex seemed distracted as he saw a huge resemblance between the two of them.

"Hello Mr. Alex." She held out her hand to shake his, thinking about the lecture Phai gave her about being proper so he doesn't think they are weird.

The blonde took her hand in his and then immediately she started to jump almost taking his arm with her as she pulled him out the house. "Come play with us!"

"Great, now you two are best friends." Phai let him know joking. "She is going to want to do everything with you after this."

Alex just smiled uncertain with a nervous reaction. "I don't mind."

"You don't have to lie."

"Come we have so much to do!"

Phai first invited Alex into his house to introduce him to his mother finally and then showed him where his room was at. They hung out there for awhile doing social activities, like playing video games and making snacks and Alex even helped Callista organize her Barbie collection before they headed to the pond.

Once there, Alex and Phai sat in the boat while Phai kept a good eye on Callista chasing butterflies with her 'made in ten seconds' butterfly catcher.

"So she's a wild one isn't she?" Alex asked after seeing Callista yell at one of the flying and non responsive bugs.

"Yea, she's very much like mom. I am more like dad." Phai responded attentively.

"Where is your dad?" the blonde asked curious as he only always saw his mother home with him and his sister.

"He's in Iraq, fighting in the war. He left a long time ago." Phai replied mindlessly looking off at his reflection in the pond.

"Oh sorry to hear that."

"It's okay. Its something he always wanted to do."

"What about you?"

"I thought about it. He would expect me to follow in his footsteps. It would be honoring him and everyone else who gave up their lives for this shitty hell hole we are in." Phai scooted his feet back sharing more room with the blonde boy and held his knees up to his chest leaning his head on his hands just watching Alex who seemed to be lost in deep thought. "What are you thinking about?" Phai smiled modestly.

The two colored eyed boy jumped back on track and smiled at the question. He looked down licking his lips slowly thinking about his own shitty life. He thought about so much he was sure if he opened his mouth the boy before him would die just listening.

Phai observed him closer trying to get his attention. "Alex, what are you thinking?"

/

_The winds whispered. _

_**Alexander, tell me what's on your mind.**_

_**Phai I don't want to bore you. I have so much going on in this large bowl I can't possibly think of boring you to death.**_

_The general took a seat on the grass by the king laying his head on his lap and running a soft finger down the inner part of the kings' thigh. _

_**Please, I want to hear you. I can't wait to know what you possibly have to say.**_

_Alexander moans at the touch and gives his general a smile._

_**Sometimes I am afraid that what I say is too much for you to listen to. I always talk and never get the chance to just listen.**_

_The general chuckles cheerfully and gets up to face him. _

_**I love listening to you. You strike me still Alexander. Everything about you. **_

_The king's eyes close in bliss as his lover takes his mouth into his. The general slowly leans away from him. __**Now speak to me.**_

_**\**_

"So how is it?"

"How is what?" Phai was confused by the question. He gave the boy an awkward look.

"You know," The blonde shyly bit his bottom lip. "Us?"

"What about us?" Phai focused in on him more wanting to know what was on the boys mind.

"Are we friends now?"

"I wouldn't have invited anyone else in my boat." He said sincerely and that was the answer to everything Alex felt. They were now friends.

"How much of friends are we?" the blonde remained questioning.

Phai shrugged with the same confident smile. "How much of a friend do you want to be?"

Alex sighted back to the dreams he's had. Alexander and Hephaistion had been more than friends. They were lovers. They were bonded since birth. But they were just Phai and Alex. Next door neighbors. Classmates. And now friends.

"I think what we have now is good." Alex hated to admit it but he didn't know how far he should go. He still didn't know how Phai felt about him and didn't intend to push it. Being just friends was good enough. For now.

It was getting dark and they had to get Callista back home for her bed time which she hated because she thought she was old enough to stay up late like all the other big kids. Even though she was dragging her feet half yawning and half sleeping she insisted that she wasn't tired. "I caught a lot of butterflies."

"Yes you did." Phai lied. She caught none but she was in a hazy sleep walk or something that had her think that.

Alex smiled and Phai told him to wait for him while he took his sister upstairs.

He waited outside his house until Phai was done tucking her into bed. He then closed the front door slowly and quietly like he was sneaking out. His deck was large and started from the front and wrapped its way along to the back connecting at the back doors so Phai took Alex along to the back where they could sit on the bench and watch the stars shining out in the night sky. It was a beautiful sight, the field in the dark and in shadows. They could see the pond where they sat with the reflection of the large moon riffling as the water stood still. It was silent between them both and then the browned haired boy looked over at Alex and Alex at him.

"When you said what we have is good, what if I am not satisfied." Phai asked the boy considerably.

Alex saw the sparkle in the blue eyes and just smiled a quick one and looked back out to the night scene. "Is there something else you want?"

"Why can't we be really good friends instead of just friends?" asked Phai not knowing that he was making himself blush at the question.

"Okay, lets do that then, let's be really good friends."

Phai nudged him trying to give him the hint about something else but the blonde didn't seem to get it. "Alex, I'm trying to get something through to you."

"What Phai?" the blonde suddenly seemed worried about something as he faced Phai urgently.

Phai smiled and looked up to him, smiling and only smiling.

"You're staring at me." Alex kindly let Phai know.

"I know. Because you're not getting it." He replied.

"Getting what?"

"How I feel."

"How do you feel?"

"Never mind Alex."

Phai looked straight ahead again, shaking his head, not knowing if he should hit Alex in the head or not. Alex was definitely not like other boys. Other boy's got the hint even before the hint struck them. Alex seemed bewildered and distracted by things Phai couldn't possibly understand.

Phai couldn't keep from smiling as they both stood there silent. Alex itched at his head scuffling up his very golden hair and fidgeted with his fingers, starting shifting as the silence altered more silent. He didn't know what to say to break the silence. He didn't have to say anything because right then he felt a slight and very small peck on his cheek. He turned quickly looking at Phai who looked up at him eyes that thought maybe he did something wrong. He blushed turning stiff looking ahead of him. It wasn't expected.

"Did you like it?' Phai asked desperate to know but kept held of his anxiousness.

Alex nodded still not managing to spit words from his mouth.

"It's what you were waiting for wasn't it."

"Yea."

_I finally found the nerves to look at him. I mentioned the knots had untied before, but this time they had completely unfolded leaving me air to breath. I remember taking his hand in mine and just holding it for a few weird seconds. And that night I never became shy around him nor anyone ever again. He killed my innocence in a good way. Without him I would have never made a move. I am not as strong as I think I am. My pride, left me that night and I unleashed everything that I was holding deep inside my head. My visions, my life, my death, my parents, Roxanne, ever single piece of thing vanished and the world became nothing to me. But he became my everything, just with a small and very lifeless kiss on the cheek. That means a lot if you think about it. We were just young boys. We weren't going to slobber all over each others faces. That came later. _

Phai stared at the blonde while Alex stared at his hand holding Phai's.

"Phai! Mom says come kill the monster in my closet!"

They saw the back porch light turn on and they immediately backed away from each other hearing Callista slide open the door, yawn, then ask what they were doing.

"Alex was just going." Phai laughed nervously.

"It was nice meeting you Callista." Alex smiled and then left them heading to his house almost tripping over a plant pot that was in his way.

"Be careful Alex." Callista advised innocently and then hurried into the house, her brother shooing her up the stairs to go fight monsters.

After dispatching nothing in her closet he went to his room and dropped on his bed, He looked at his clock. Who knew what the next day would bring but he was going to have a very, very, very long discussion with his sister about interrupting every little and very good moments of his life.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks everyone for reading this story and leaving very nice reviews. I appreciate it alot.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter seven**

_The next days passed by incredibly quickly. Phai and I hung out a lot more and talked alot more. It was a miracle to me and a change for him. I was still obsessing over that quick kiss he gave me and maybe because I know now how he feels. Or maybe that could have been a way he says lets be friends. I have no idea. It felt good anyway and it was better than sharing quick and stupid smiles. We grew comfortable with everything though other than hugging. It's weird but that remained our problem. It was just something boys didn't do, even though a kiss on the cheek in both his and my opinion were perfectly natural._

_But still the week continued the usual way, Cassy bothering him and Roxanne clinging to me because I was hanging out with Phai too much, so she says, even though I hang out with her almost twenty four seven. We still sat with eahcother at lunch, I came over to his house often enjoying his crazy little sister and his outoging mother. Sometimes he came to mine and we just hung out and talked. _

"I am not going to go to your party unless Phai comes." Argued Tolem with the birthday girl at her front door step.

Roxanne cleared her throat gently. "And why would I allow him into my house?" her little arms were crossed high against her chest sternly glaring.

"He's my friend aswell, and it's not fair."

"Well Tolem you are just going to have to live with it."

_Okay so it was the weekend and finally Roxanne's 14__th__ birthday. Her birthday came close to all of our graduation of middle school which was the only good thing about it. We were growing up and hitting high school pretty soon. Other than that she drove her father mad by stomping her foot whenever she wanted something. She even had her maid hitting her head against the wall. She wanted her decorations perfect, her cake perfect, everything just perfect. And she also expected a lot of gifts so that's the reason why she let Phai go, only if he had a gift to give her._

Tolem ran to Phais house just to give him the news and Phai was not happy. "She said you can come." Tolem said helping Phai and his family unload the groceries as his mom arrived home from going food shopping.

"Inorder to go I have to get her a present?" the brunette boy reclaimed not seeing the logic at all. "How stupid is she. I am not going to that hideous girl's party." Phai was angry, shoving the groceries away in awkward places because he was too livid to even think correctly. He wasn't actually implying that she was ugly but her personality was. She was a very pretty and unique looking girl but that was just about the nicest thing he could say about her.

"Phai peanut butter doesn't go in the trash!" his sister scolded him. He didn't care and left it there.

Their mom walked by and kissed Phai on the head. "Don't worry about it too much. Give her the peanut butter." The mom chuckled cruelly and left the kitchen picking up the phone that rang in the other room while the kids finished putting away the stuff. The mother had heard stories of this Roxanne and she already didn't like her.

"That's ridiculous Tolem." Phai snapped. "I just want to feed her to the lions." He growled.

"I know but I really want you to come. I feel weird hanging out with them unless Leon or Thais are there. Or Alex and they don't mind you so you should come and hang out with us." Tolem answered simply. "Besides free food, you can't go wrong with that, I mean that's why Cleitus is going."

"I don't care about any of it Toelm. No is my final answer. No." he re-clarified.

"If Alex asked you to go you would." Tolem assumed. He noticed how closer they had gotten lately. Phai never smiled around anyone before that much.

"He would have to convince me big time." Phai replied audaciously.

"I can take your place." Suggested Callista who was dipping her finger in the opened peanut butter. "People say I look like you Phai."

Phai and Tolem both grinned. "I think I am good Callista but thanks for that strange offer."

Tolem tossed him all the canned items and Phai straitened them in the pantry. "Tolem is Alex even going." He asked just to make sure. Roxanne most likely kill herself if Alex didn't end up showing.

"Yea. Why?"

"Just wondering. I thought he said he had stuff to do with his parents."

"He said after he's done with that he will hop on over." The frizzy haired boy replied with a poor attempt of being excited. Alex's parents were stricter than any of their parents combined and he couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"Can I go?"

"No!" the two boys responding in unity at Callista who they had forgotten was still sitting there.

"Tolem can you come play Barbie's with me." She asked smiling wide and squinting her eyes. She was incredibly bored.

"Callista why would I do that?" asked the boy almost certain that he would never ever do that with her.

"Alex does."

Phai looked over at his sister smirking. "Don't make him sound out to be a saint Callista. He helped you organize them, that's it."

She just shrugged her small shoulders "whatever. Close enough." She hopped off of the high chair at the counter and ran upstairs leaving the boys to finish the rest of the work, not like she was doing much anyway.

"Phai."

"What Tolem?" Phai buried his head under his arms as he leaned on the counter muttering about something most likely about the party. He didn't care about Roxanne so why would he go.

"Please just come and if it doesn't turn out okay we'll leave." Tolem smiled up at him. "Besides." He took the peanut butter container in his hands. "You already have her present."

The blue eyed boy couldn't prevent the smile that lighted up his face seeing where his little sis stuck to digits in the sticky food. "Okay Tolem. I'll go." He surrendered with a long sigh.

* * *

><p>"Egh, can you believe that Tolem actually wants to have him over." Roxanne bitched some more as Thais and a couple of other girls from her school were at her house early while her father was busting his ass trying to set everything up correctly for the party.<p>

Thais and the rest of the girls were careful not to say anything as Roxanne was always in a fussy fit and got angry if people cared to disagree with her. Thais was the only one who never really had a major problem with Phai but the rest of the girls hated him just because Roxanne did and they had to impress her because she was supposedly the leader of the click.

Roxanne brought a brush to her thick hair and started combing out all the knot and kinks. Her friends then helped her with her makeup and picking out a right dress. It was obvious she was trying to look her best for Alex. She was obsessed with no one else.

"I can't wait for the day he will propose to me." She smirked into the mirror watching as she took the brush again to her hair.

"You two have been going out for awhile anyway. It would be weird if he doesn't." one of her friends replied.

"You and him are like the perfect couple.' Another said.

Thais watched as the girls fed her confidence busting her ego even more.

"You are already talking about marriage Roxanne?" Thais stirred at Roxanne's excitement.

"Why not. I am sure he thinks of it too." She sat up in her chair with a confidence that annoyed the tom boyish girl.

"Okay, whatever you say." Thais replied rolling her eyes keeping herself from groaning. Roxanne was her friend but she wasn't afraid to admit she was delusional. Her obsession with Alex surpassed that of a fan girl with a rock singer.

The other girls squealed and screamed dramatically when they saw the father bring in the cake downstairs on the counter. It was a very large white cake as most of the class was invited.

Her father spoiled her reckless. "Is this okay for you Roxy?" He asked already seeing the glowing in her eyes as she was stunned by it.

"Thank you daddy." She jumped up and hugged him and then hurried back with her friends to go upstairs before all the guest arrived.

* * *

><p>"You should wear these pants or the suit you wore to mom and dads wedding Phai."<p>

"First we weren't born yet so I have no idea what suit you are talking about and just exactly who do you think I need to look good for?" Her brother asked as she was trying to make him appear high classed. "Callista this is a birthday party with messy kids, not prom."

She frowned when he snatched the trousers away from her hands and threw them back into his closet. "Well then what are you going to wear?"

He took a deep breath. "Just jeans and a tee."

"Boring." she faked a yawn.

"Yep, just as boring as the party will be. I am not dressing to impress anyone." He reminded her again.

"Why. You could meet the girl of your dreams there." Callista rolled around on his bed.

Phai snapped his fingers in front of her face when he saw that she was day dreaming about something and laying on his shirt he was going to wear wrinkling it with her body weight. "Roxanne's friends are annoying just like her so I doubt it." he pushed her off.

She folded her arms and pouted for only three seconds. "Is that one mean bully going to be there?" Phai knew she was talking about Cassy.

"Yep and sadly same with the rest of them."

"Well atleast Alex and Tolem are going." She mentioned. "They will back you up if anything goes wrong."

"Yea I guess." Phai started putting on his socks and shoes.

'Oh and if there is a fight take pictures." She ventured more.

"Oh my god, fine! I'm leaving now so get out my room and stay out."

* * *

><p>Tolem and Leon stood outside Phai's house all dressed up in nice clothes waiting for him so they could head together to the party that started five minutes ago. Tolem looked at his watch. It read 7:07. He sighed.<p>

Leon was there mostly to see Phai's sister. "Maybe you should go and get him out, or I will if you don't want to." Leon smiled wide at his offer. Maybe Callista would open the door.

"Be my guest."

"Yes!" Leon said theatrically and before he even started heading to the door they saw Phai hurry out throwing on a jacket and he went to them with his foiled wrapped present in his hand.

Leon frowned disappointed that he didn't see Callista and bothered by the shiny thing in Phais' hand. "What is that?"

"Oh it's for Roxanne. It's her birthday present." A grin plastered on his face.

"Did you wrap it?"

"No my sis did while I was getting dressed."

Leon's excitement brightened and for no reason. 'Is she coming?"

Tolem and Phai shared a quick glance at each other. "Uh no she's not. She's nine." Phai reminded Leon.

'Oh okay." Leon looked away embarrassed hands sinking in his pockets as Phai gave him the big brother protecting stare.

"Are we going to wait for Alex or is he going to meet us there." Asked Phai. He hadn't seen the boy all day. It happened a lot when his parents were home.

"Uh he will just meet us there I'm sure. If not we'll come and get him." Tolem replied definite.

"Okay."

"Bye Phai have a nice time. Bring back the peanut butter if she doesn't want it!" His sister yelled from the front door and Leon blushed faster than it hit him and Phai and Tolem frowned at her.

"A friend's advice Phai, put her on a leash." Tolem thought clever patting his shoulder then shaking his head in shame. Phai gestured his sister back inside the house and then followed after Tolem and pretty much having to drag Leon from staring at her. He was not looking forward to this.

* * *

><p>"Dad can I go now?" Alex asked politely even though he was impatient to get out the house, as his dad had him in the house all day helping him with office papers, stacking them neatly, sorting them in seperate files and printing and making copies for him while he did the phone calls.<p>

It was so much, they even had to run to the store to buy more ink. He wasn't just doing it for his dad but also sorting out his mothers busines papers, who wasn't home because she was called in to work.

"No son not yet." Phillip pointed to the filing cabinet as they were in the big office and told Alex to go file them accordingly to procedure.

"Can I do this after the party?"

"Didn't your mother and I warn you about parties' boy?" the dad asked holding the phone between his ear and shoulder. "Anything can go wrong."

The boy felt like saying and 'you care because' but decided to keep his mouth shut. His father had a cigarette in his mouth and finally the phone picked up and he stepped out of the office.

Alex heard always his father laughing with someone on the other end of the phone but it was not a buddy kind of laugh you share with best friends but more of a flirtatious laugh and he always told himself something was wrong but he never understood until that day.

_It took me awhile to finish the files but I was finally done. I hurried to go put on some different clothes and rushed to the front door, I opened it and saw something I never expected even though it was obvious and always in front of me. My mother always mentioned him cheating on her with some other whore but that was just an assumption me and her both made. How wrong she was and how stupid was I for ignoring it. My dad who I always looked up to, I found kissing a young and very attractive girl right at his car vehicle. I never expected the cheating to happen so soon, in fact I thought my parents would remain faithful until I hit my high school years but I was a child. I couldn't stand to see this. You can say this shouldn't be a shock. I pried on him whenever I had thought him suspicious of something, the only things I actually had proof of were the phone calls and even that I wasn't sure of, but actually seeing right before my eyes, him loving some other woman at my house and in my driveway, I could now believe it. _

_You really don't start to really get hurt by something unless it strikes you right in the face. Well this did. It hurt my insides, it hurt my head and just watching them made me go dizzy. I slowly closed the door seeing him coming back and he opens it and tells me that he would be right back. The smile on his face tells me that he was going to go fuck her quick somewhere and I remembered my mind was pumping with so much anger and sadness I didn't know what happened next. He closed the door, took off with her in his car and I remember walking mindlessly in the fields, forgetting about the party, then hitting something cold like death and that's it. _

Phai walked behind Tolem and entered Roxanne's house. There were flowers, decorations and balloons everywhere. Kids were loud and running all over the place. They all felt bad for her father as he was running around all over the place trying to get the kids out of places that weren't allowed.

_Pretty much Roxanne was spoiled. In her own defense she always used the excuse that she grew up dirt poor and her father worked hard to get them where they were at even though most of the money came from her mother after her mom's death. But he put it on himself. Never spoil a child because eventually you are preparing them for a brutal future._

Tolem and Phai entered a room where the party host was as she was dressed in an over the top dress with bows in her hair and she was ripping open the wrappers of her present.

"Hi Tolem…and Phai." She rolled her eyes at the boy and scurried back to her presents.

The boys were in another room playing doing what boys do best and mess around. There were so many activities going and so many kids, Phai regretted it. He hated pointless noise and headed to the room where the TV was telling Tolem so he knew where to find him if he ever went looking. He sat down watching the movie that was playing, not like it did him any good escaping from the noise as kids would run through and out the room frequently. He just sat and waited patiently for Alex to show up hoping he would.

_/_

**_Alexander can you hear me?"_**

_Alexander, my king…_

**_Please don't leave me._**

_\_


	9. Chapter 9

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Eight**

**/**

Roxanne stood from the couch her little curls bouncing as she stomped over to Tolem her hands in tight fists. "Where is Alex?"

The fizzy haired boy almost ducked looking scared that she might hit at him by the way the voice of her tone was. "I don't know, he said he would be here when he could. Gosh."

"It's been thirty minutes." She voiced angrily. "Go get him."

"Fine."

"That's better." She smiled and scampered back to her presents where all the girls were at.

Tolem rolled his eyes irritated with Roxanne's authority she thought she had just because she was rich and went to go get Phai. "Hey." He peeked in the room where Phai just sat non responsive at the screen. "Hey Phai!" he finally got his attention the boy looking at him. "Do you want to come with me to get Alex? I know you don't want to be here by yourself."

"Oh. Yea sure." The brunette boy stood from the couch. He could thank Tolem for saving him from this dreadful stupid party. So far all he heard was screaming and shouting and apparently for no good reason other than the house being filled with loud children.

The two boys headed out the house followed by the rest of the bullies who they were not expecting.

"Uh what do you guys want?" Phai asked seeing as he could never get away from them.

"We are coming with you to get Alex." Cassy said with a cocky smile. "It's not like we want to be all alone at this almost all chick party."

He took a lollipop out of his mouth and offered it to Phai who stuck his tongue out disgusted. "Gross." He shoved the boys hand out of his face. "I am not going to share germs with you."

"You won't; know if I have any until you try it."

"Let's just try to get along shall we." Tolem suggested always being the peace maker.

When they arrived at Alex's house the boys noticed the cars weren't in the drive way and one car just across the street that they did not recognize. Phai knocked on the door and they waited but no one answered.

"Maybe he went with his dad somewhere." Cassy said.

"Maybe." Crater looked around.

Cassy hopped up the stairs next to Phai and knocked on the door harder. "Alex you in there?" he shouted through the door and put his ear to it hoping he could hear a sign of life. The green eyed boy shrugged after no response. "He'll be back." He said. "Let's go back to the party."

"I'm starving." Said Cleitus the spiky haired boy. "I think I saw the pizza man arrive."

The boys started to turn back but Phai took the knob of the door turned it and pushed the door open. Something didn't seem right to him.

Alex always every time made an effort to go talk to him even if his parents were home. He would have at least called Roxanne or one of them if he weren't going to make it.

"Oh look at Phai breaking and entering. Not so much a girl anymore I see." Crater said pushing Phai aside as he stepped in the house large and sophisticated looking house. The big boy moved to the bottom stairs and looked up. "Alex!" he yelled.

"Its obvious he isn't home!" Tolem pointed out.

"Then why would the door be unlocked." Phai asked getting more and more suspicious about something.

Crater jumped down the stairs. "He's not in his room." After done searching up their.

Cassy and Phil came from looking around the rest of the house. "He is nowhere. Let's go back before his parents show up and get mad at us for being here. I do not want to be here for that.'

Phai ignored all their talk and hurried to the back yard and searched out their. He was starting to get worried. "Alex?" he called only hearing the slight breeze. Everything was so still and untouched and something just couldn't be right.

"Hiya Phai what are you doing in the next door neighbors yard?" He heard Callista shout from the back porch as she had an ice-cream cone in her hand.

"Uhh… we are looking for Alex Callista. Mind us. We're just about to leave." Phai said almost embarrassed he was caught by his own sister in some one else home. He almost forgot they could see their neighbors yard from there porch. Good thing his mother wasn't outside even though he couldn't be sure his sister would keep her mouth shut even if he told her too.

"I saw him earlier going to the field." She said pointing out. "I tried asking him if he wanted to share an ice cream but I don't think he heard me cuz he kept walking." She shrugged. "Oh well. I'll ask him later."

Phais' eyes widened and he saw that the back gate in Alex's back yard was opened. "He's in the field?" He asked quietly to himself trying to find a possible reason why he would be out there. "Why is he in the field?"

"What would he be doing out there?" asked Cassy with an upset tone. "Without his friends? That's almost an insult?"

Phai suddenly felt all his senses in his body telling him to go out there. "Something's wrong." The boy ran through the back gate and out into the field.

"Oo oo." Callista dropped her ice cream on the porch accidentally and hurried over to Phais' fence. "I wanna go help look for him. Help me over please!" she asked one of the boys who were looking to where Phai was heading. Leonnatus right away sprinted over to her and helped her climb over the fence trying not to get her pretty skin splintered and her dress torn.

"Where is he going?" asked Tolem looking concerned.

"I guess we can go find out?" asked Cassy tossing his lollipop in the grass.

"Let's go follow?" The little girl ran off out the gate shouting her brother's name like she was in some mission impossible movie.

Next thing they were all running out in the field.

/

_**Alexander please don't go out so far?**_

_His lover shouted from the snowy hills of a mountain wrapped in deep and thick fur shivering and hugging him self to keep warm. _

_**Don't worry Phai!**_

_The king shouted back dressed in nothing to keep him warm from the snowy winds._

_His lover watched eyes centered at his king and lover as the blonde man walked over the iced over lake. He had no idea what he was doing but he wasn't sure. He normally had eyes that never questioned his king but now he felt that this was reckless. _

_\_

Phai made it to the pond. He looked around at first and the only thing that told him Alex wasn't further out into the meadows and had to be at the pond was the boat had shifted far from the deck and the surface of the wrinkled current in the water. He didn't want to believe but he had to. He jumped into the waters.

/

_**King Alexander! **_

_Men shouted._

_His lover eyes widened with fear as the ice below the kings weight cracked beneath him. _

_Hephaistion ran down the hill sliding as his boots fought with slush. He reached the hole where the king fell in. He dropped to his knee and tossed off his heavy coat and dipped his arm into the cold ice reaching for him but not to his luck. He saw his king disappear under the cold dark waters._

_More men scurried about shouting the king's name. His lover took off his boots and more of his heavy armor and jumped in after his lover. _

**Alexander…**

**Alexander, wake up!**

**Alex…**

\

"Alex get up! Please Alex." Phai's nerves were shaking. He didn't know if the boy was dead or alive and he couldn't even dare to think about him being dead. The other boys stood in shock not knowing what to do as Alex lay on the deck eyes closed. Cleitus had stormed over there gently pushing Phai aside. He was the only one who knew what CPR was and knew how to perform it.

"I will go get help." Said Cassy running off to go get Phais' mother. She was the only within the closest reach of them and most likely the only parent who would drop everything she is doing just to help.

Callista looked dead with shock her face had grown pale and her tiny hands shaking. Phil and Crater took off with Cassy while Perdicas and Leon stayed back with the tear filled eyed girl. This was her very first death experience if Alex was actually dead. Phai didn't want to go anywhere unless he knew Alex was okay.

_My life of effort and despair almost took me then. I was alive thanks to Phai and Cleitus. I coughed up a good amount of water but I fell right back into a blurry haze after that. Before my eyes almost fell shut again I saw Phai. That's how I knew I was still alive. The fear in his eyes told me that I was selfish and how I could leave him like that, and that I am stupid crazy and reckless and that I only think about myself. I had to stay alive for him to show him that I would never leave him behind again._

_Cleitus had carried me over to Phais house. I remember Phais mother's voice clearly telling my worried friends to relax and to go back to the party to get their minds off things and that everything was going to be alright. I was carried to the front seat of the car and I could see little glimpses of Callista tears growing in her big brown eyes as she sat behind me making sure I didn't die on her. How precious she was telling me that I was going to be alright and after all this was over we can have ice cream together._

_I woke up fully in the hospital. My doctor studied and examined me but he already knew everything about my problems. He held again my secret and told Phais' mom that nothing was wrong and just to watch over me since my parents never could. He explained to her how unhealthy it was for a child to not be close and have a relationship with there parents. Maybe that is killing me faster. _

_I asked him and I shouldn't have but I did. He told me I have maybe three or fours years' worth of life. That is a lot to me. That was a blessing when I heard that. I thought my life would end right when I hit high school. _

_I always tricked myself, saying if I pretended I didn't have this problem and made more of life than just thinking about it all the time I might just live longer. A miracle could happen and that would be the miracle of forgetfulness. I need to completely forget about all my pains and sorrows. Since there are very rare cases of sleep deprivation I doubt there would be a cure in the later future. I checked 'forgetting' on my list. I would now stroll around like there was nothing wrong and my life would be perfect again. The mind is a powerful sense. When you want to forget, you do. _

_The good news was that I was alive. For now. The bad news was that I almost left Phai before my time. _

"Tolem explain to me."

"Oh about that, Alex can't come, he had to go to the hospital." Tolem told a now very angry Roxanne who felt her birthday was just completely ruined.

"Why?"

"I don't know details but we found him at the bottom of the pond and Phais' mom took him to the hospital. As far as we know he's alive, just not talking." Tolem told it to the best of his knowledge.

The girls face fell. "Is he going to be okay?"

"We don't know yet. We're just going to have to wait."

_After the party I remember Phais mom driving up into her drive way, Callista sleeping laying her head on me and all my friends waiting outside Phais' house sitting around the front step. _

_I never took my eyes off Phai who was looking at me with a sadness I couldn't understand. He was the last person I saw before Cleitus helped me into my house and in my bed. My friends all came and told me to get better leaving me with some warm tea and some blankets right out of the dryer and then left because it was almost passed ten and passed their bedtime. Phai stayed though, telling his mother that he would stay there until my parents came home. _

_I remember Phais mother calling my mothers cell phone and told her the news. My mother was absolutely livid over the phone shouting at her and I was sure she would never forgive my dad for taking off and leaving or herself for never being there. _

Alex lay in his bed half alive and half dead and shivering, like he was laying in cold snow.

/

_**Hephaistion why am I so cold?**_

_**Alexander you're so silly. You fell into an icy lake. I had to go in and get you before you died. But you are better now. You have a cold and we are doing our best to get rid of it.**_

_The general placed a hot cloth on the king's forehead. Candles and torches were surrounding him to keep him warm. _

_**Are you okay?**_

_The king's voice foggy from the lack of breath he had while sinking as he asks his lover the question._

_**I'm fine Alexander. I am not worried about myself. I am worried for you.**_

_**Can you help me up? My body won't move.**_

_**Stay put Alexander. You will feel better soon. **_

_**But I want to get up. I have things to take care of. I have to kiss you for saving me. **_

_A dorky smile plasters on both of their face._

_**Those things can wait. Now rest Alexander. I will return in the morning. **_

_**Don't leave me. **__His weak hand took his lovers wrist._

_The general sat back down and smiled. __**Then I'll stay but promise me you will sleep.**_

_**I promise. **_

_**Goodnight then. **_

_The general lowered his face near his kings and kissed him gently and soothingly on the head. _

_**Goodnight Hephaistion.**__ The king closed his eyes._

\

The cold boy heard a knock to his bedroom door. He was to cold and out if it to respond so Phai slowly opened it. He stepped in peeking over and the bundle wrapped in blankets.

He approached slowly not wanting to interrupt his rest. He knelt near the boy and moved away some of his golden hair so he could see his pale face more. He realized the boy wasn't sleeping and his eyes being frail.

"Are you sick Alex?" Phai asked assuming from him shivering so much. He placed his hand on the body feeling it stiffen at the touch.

The blonde boy shook his head. "Just cold." He answered trying to smile at him but his muscles were to frozen.

"What did the doctor say?"

"That I will be fine."

"Good." Phai smiled. "That's really good. Actually it's great." Phai responded sad like he was tricking himself into believing it.

"How was the party?" Alex asked, not really caring. He knew Roxanne was going to get on his ass when she had the chance.

"Boring without you there." He admitted. "Can I just say that Roxanne is not a very nice girl. She tossed my present away."

"Sorry." Alex was indeed truly sorry that Roxanne refused to even give him a chance.

"It's okay. It's not your fault." Phai shifted his eyes to the ground and sighed.

"Why am I so cold?"

He lifted his head hearing the words come out Alex's mouth.

"Alex you fell into a pond." Phai responded leaning in close. "I had to go in and get you. Don't you remember?"

_My eyes began to shut; the only sleep I get is either death or unconsciousness. Ridiculous. By the look in his eyes he knew that there was something more wrong than me just being cold. Maybe he thought I had water damage to my head or hit my head at the bottom of the pond or something but he looked through me. He saw through my eyes, and only one person could read me like an open book and that was him. He knew I wasn't alright. _

"My mother called your mother. She couldn't get a hold of your dad. She said she will be here a soon as she can. I hope you feel better." He kissed the boy on the cheek and looked into his eyes.

_That's when I found out he was the general in my dreams. Eyes that can see through me. Eyes that could bring me back to life. _

"Don't go Phai." Alex grabbed his hand surprised he had the strength.

"I am not going anywhere. I'm waiting with you. But you got to promise me to wake up okay?"

"I promise." The blonde boy responded weakly.

"Goodnight then Alex." Phai stood to shut off the lights and then made himself comfortable next to the boy on his bed facing his direction.

"Goodnight Phai."

_**India, fifth day**_

"I have eaten something, aren't you proud of me." The still stressed looking general said as it was Ptolemy's time to visit him.

Ptolemy honestly didn't know what else to do about it. He never had seen Hephaistion this down in his whole entire life. Even after his fathers death the general remained active but now since Alexander was dying the generals didn't know what to do. Hephaistion pretty much lost all hope.

"That's good, Hephaistion. Have you drunken something yet?" Ptolemy asked trying to hold down his fatherly feelings. He loved the general as a friend and he would hate to see him kill himself over this.

"Yes." The blue eyed man stabbed the curled haired general with his eyes. 'Why do you care?"

"I am only trying to help." Ptolemy assured him through friendly eyes.

"I don't want it." The general's deep throaty voiced scared Ptolemy. He wasn't the way he normally was. The blue-eyed general stood from his chair next to the still sleeping king and his eyes were rimmed dark like they were dead and hollow.

Ptolemy was certain Hephaistion lied about eating just to get them to stop talking and probably tossed the platter of food they had brought him over the balcony.

"It's obvious my company is not wanted." Ptolemy stood from his seat. "I am praying for you just as much as I am for the king and maybe you will forgive yourself if you were to lose him."

The general didn't say a word and watched as Ptolemy left the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 1**

**Chapter Nine**

End of part One

/

_It's funny that I can't say I woke up the next day because I had been awake the entire night hearing the steady breathing and watching the beautiful face of him. I closed my eyes pretending I was asleep when I felt Phai move around and get up and leave the bed. I heard that my parents had arrived and they were talking with Phai and his mother outside the house. It was a shame really, Phai and his mom didn't get the credit they deserved, and instead my parents were being assholes to each other as well as them. It became a blaming party. My mother blamed of course my dad for not being their. Phais mom tried explaining to them that he can't just be wondering off like that and he needs some sort of supervision and my parents blew up. They told her pretty much that she wasn't in charge or that who was she to give parental advice. _

_Denial evolves like a large glowing orb and once in its place it creates funny and scared people and my mother was scared and my dad was too. It was so easy to see but yet it was so darn easy for them to deny that anything was really wrong. They said they have it under control at this point. I could just see the expression on my neighbors faces. They either didn't ever want to have anything to do with us again or they were going to keep an eye on me just because I needed it desperately. I am not even going to deny the supervision because I at times felt myself almost drowning in a bath or, burning my hands on the stove top when I am making some hot chocolate and all because of my stupid dreams. _

_Let me correct that harshly. My dreams are not stupid. They are wonderful. _

Alex heard Phai sneak back into the room. Alex shifted and made him self appear to awake carefully, keeping himself deep under the covers.

"Alex?" The browned haired boy whispered tiptoeing on up next to him.

The blonde still pale looking boy turned to him. "Yea Phai." He answered. Phai looked stealthily amongst him as his voice seemed to be aching.

"Your parents are home. My mother is talking to them right now. They say you won't be at school for maybe a week."

"Why?" Alex face turned weary.

"Obviously because of your health. They say it's best to keep you until you feel better."

"I just fell into a pond. I feel fine. I'm just cold that's it." Alex was upset removing his warm blankets off of him until Phai relaxed his movement by placing his hand calmly on his leg and looking deep into his eyes.

"I kind of agree with them Alex. Maybe you need some well rest." Phai suggested. "You don't look to good."

"I will look fine tomorrow." The other insisted.

The browned haired boy chuckled. "You don't know that."

"Yea I do." The blonde leaned up with confidence. "I have to tell my parents that they are being ridiculous about this all."

"Please Alex." Phai took his hand again calming him down. "Can you do it for me and my mom and my sister then? Don't do it for your parents."

_Phai saw something in my eyes I didn't see in myself. It was like he already knew and felt my pain and understood where I was coming from. I didn't myself understand my situation even though I had it on my back for so long. But I was being stubborn again. I didn't want to stay in bed like a sick, needy child. I didn't want to stay locked up in my already boring house. I wanted to go to school because that is the only time I get any time with Phai. Now that my parents were going to be home and most likely stay for awhile I won't get that as much now. _

_We heard a door open still with my parents bickering and Phai stood and peeked out of the door and down the stairs. He turned back to me saying he had to go. I didn't want him to leave at all. His presence was better than anything I have ever had. Better than any Christmas or birthday present. I only needed him and the moment he walked out of my room I thought I might have never seen him again. _

Alex stepped his cold feet onto his carpet and moved out from the room he had felt he'd been in for a lifetime already. That might as well be his dying bed. He moved slowly down the stairs as if he would fall any minute, holding tight onto the sturdy rails.

"Phillip I can't believe you!" His mother was so livid her eyes steamed like fire at her incompetent husband.

Phillip shook his head moving around the kitchen counter. "How was I supposed to know the boy would jump into a pond and drown himself?"

"He's a boy and boys do crazy things!" She answered teeth gritted and her hands were in deep fists, nails cutting through her pale-ish skin.

"Ha always giving him an excuse. We know very well the boy is worthy being home alone. It's not my problem he decided to do something stupid. Has that brain of his deflated." He flew his arms around in frustration at his wife.

Olympias only growled in devastation.

"Well there you go." Phillip slammed both his hands on the counter top. "You know I am right."

"Phillip I am sure he wasn't trying to kill himself. A boy his age wouldn't think of that?"

_Well there you go. In order to keep the blame from themselves they accused my lucky performance of being suicidal. Suicidal is a strong case and I never had tendencies to even follow through with it even if I had thought of it. My life isn't worthless, I didn't care what they thought all I knew was that I was a young boy standing at the bottom of the stairs listening to my parents verbally abuse each other. _

"I am going to school tomorrow." Alex said hands in his pockets of his striped blue and white pajamas. "Today I will rest and tomorrow I will learn. I am up to it." He told them as if they hadn't just had an argument in front of him. "I am sick of making up homework."

They both stopped mid bickering and Olympias trotted over in her heels to Alex taking him by his arm and leaning into him. "You are staying home until I say its time for you to go back."

"Four days won't kill you boy." Phillip answered and left the kitchen immediately going to his office and closing the door.

"I'm fine mom." Alex had gotten used to ignoring his Dads overkills.

"Don't ever attempt that again. Boys think they can do things they can not." She registered.

Alex looked confused. What was she talking about? "What?"

"Why were you out there in the first place?" she asked and was starting to tear up.

"Because I was thinking about something and my mind sort of wandered. I didn't mean to." the blonde shook his head, trying to unruffle whatever she had thought happened.

"You know how to swim Alex." She gripped him by both upper arms "to be at the bottom of the pond only tells me one thing."

Alex frowned. "I was not trying to kill myself mom."

"What else then?" she looked worried and caressed his soft face. "Have we not trained you to look after yourself properly?"

"I do fine looking after myself." The boy yelled getting angry moving her hands away. "If I was suicidal I don't even think you would notice to be honest."

"Excuse me!" her eyes widened not expecting to hear that from her little boy.

"You heard me. I don't care about anything right now or what you think of me but I want to go to school and that's the only thing I am asking. I honestly don't want to be in this house at all with you or dad. The fact is the neighbors saved me and you did not so just get over it already. I'm fine and it's over with." Alex went back up stairs and his mother looked stunned.

_Okay so maybe me telling her that wasn't the best way to handle it because I did go to school the next day. It's not like they ever drove me anyway I always took the bus which I felt comfortable enough with. I arrived and went to my classes. My friends were happy to see me. Roxanne bothered me through out the day saying that she was the most worried and that she should have took care of me instead of Phai. Cassy was being his normal sarcastic self but it was a mask of his real worries, Cleitus offered me some weed to relax but I refused it. Everyone else couldn't drop the subject no matter how much I told them too. It was a whatever type of situation. Just move and ignore. Phai was the only one not happy to see me. _

"Alex what are you doing here?"

It was during lunch period. He finally came to Alex to talk with him after being angry at him throughout the day. He sat across from the blonde boy and glared.

"Because I need to not be at home." Alex answered nerving at his glare.

_I know how it is, when a lover looks you in the eye and you just know they are angry at you but still love you with all their heart but what has to be done has to be done. That's the look he was giving me. _

"Being at home was probably for the best Alex. You look like crap." He said angry and worried.

"Sorry I haven't checked the mirrors lately."

"Are you aware then that your parents think you tried killing yourself?" Phai asked. "That's not good."

"Very aware" Alex responded looking down. He looked as frigid as ice and his hair was not so blonde. The red around his eyes made him appear older than he was.

Phais back outlined itself against the back of his seat. He stretched his arms out and sighing.

"Do you think me crazy?" Alex asked him just to be sure.

The boy shook his head. "No Alex. Anything could have happened. There is a bump on your head. You probably just fell, hit your head and sunk to the bottom. It happens. Come to a swimming meet sometime and you'll see."

Alex smiled at the response and noticed his empty table because he had forgotten to get food as did Phai. There was so much going on in their heads to even think about eating.

"So what are you going to do about your parents?"

Alex's head dropped and his hands started to slowly shake but he placed them flat on the table hoping to keep them still.

_I went to school not because I wanted to but because I had to. I had something every important to tell Phai. I overheard my parents in their room the night before. I would have stayed home just because Phai wanted me too but I couldn't because this was the last time I might see him again. Not because of any death or a part of me that couldn't handle it anymore. This was literally based on my parent's decision and their decision alone. My mother found out about dad cheating on her because he decided to come clean to her. They fought and argued no surprise and then relaxed after awhile. You could imagine then what would happen next._

"Phai, there's something I have to tell you." Alex shifted nervously, his eyes still down.

The browned haired boy already looked as if he wasn't going to enjoy what was about to be said. "What is it Alex?" he asked.

"My mother is taking me with her to stay at a relatives place in Colorado Springs. My dad and she are finally getting divorced and he doesn't want her in the house. We would move back out the country but that's not really affordable at the moment or an option. The good thing about it is that they can keep their jobs but work for different companies. The bad thing about it is that I might not see you for a very long time."

Phai was unconsciously biting on his thumb nail looking off into space. He finally dropped his hands in his lap. "Then what? You can't stay with your dad or anything." He answered weakly.

"He wants nothing to do with me. Trust me I don't want this at all. I can't possibly think about leaving you behind even in my dreams you remain." Alex averted his strong piercing eyes to Phai.

"Did you tell them you don't want to go?" Phai was now becoming uneasy.

"I told them no. They didn't say anything in return."

"When do you go?" it was the question both he and Alex wished would never show up in the conversation but it was the main question they both needed to know.

Sadly Alex had an answer. "Once our semester ends. She already looked into a high school for me. She thinks its going to be better." Alex was obviously not happy talking about it, stuttering with words a few times.

_Phai didn't answer for a long time, biting at his tongue. It was suddenly time for the afternoon classes to begin and the kids cleared out of their seats and pretty much scattered. Time around him and I seemed like nothing. Everyone moved in an eerie speed around us and we were in a complete and entire different time zone. The news was less surreal to give then it was to see the sadness on his face and the Goosebumps on his skin. I didn't speak and kept my head down. The next thing we knew is that the cleaning lady passed by us as she wiped down tables. It was weird because she didn't bother once telling us that we needed to get moving to our classes because we were late. _

"So what are we going to do? Exchange numbers so you can call me, are we going to have to do a web cam or something stupid. Face book? Just tell me so I know what to do." Phai suddenly said as he unfolded his arms, bringing his hands to his face in order to hold back his tears.

"Phai, I know you don't like it and I don't like it as much as you, but I made a list of things to do." Alex and Phai smiled. "I am going to get a job, a good paying one, I am going to exceed everyone so that I will get promoted then I am going to buy a car and I am coming out here when I turn sixteen just to find you again."

"Alex you sound sure."

"I am sure. You just wait and see. If one doesn't follow there dreams then one can't put their dreams behind them.

"You're going to follow me Alex?" Phai grinned sadly.

"Yea. So that I don't lose you."

* * *

><p><strong>End of part one, now two begins. <strong>

**Thank you so much Lysis for your inspiring reviews and your historical input. I knew that was the case with Cassander but again I like Cassanders' character and it just fits right now for my story. As you know I have this tendency to include as many of the companions as possible. Just something I am obsessed with. I think each one had their one uniqueness that shown with Alexander's life that was either inspiring for him or non stimulating. **

**As for my other reviewers I know a lot of you want more a/h moments and I promise you will get them. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Ten**

/

_My parents became more and more annoying as time went by. They were pulling bitch fits every time I said I was going out to hang with my neighbor. For some reason they didn't want me to play with Phai and his sister, probably because of what happened, but I went anyway. I took every opportunity to go hang out with him before the semester ended which was around the middle of May summer. During the days I got to know Phais' family a little bit more…actually a lot more except for his father who wasn't their at the time. Especially Callista. Man, especially Callista. She was so playful and joyful about almost everything, the only time I ever saw her upset was when Phai refused to play Barbie's with her. I loved being around her. She reminded me of me when I was younger, all over the place, from the ground until she reached the sky. Never had I met a girl so young spirited and so ambitious. Phai told me that she thought I was some kind of vampire from the Twilight series. My, my, her mind was ruthless. But she was very opposite of her brother, Phai, who was so personal and always enclosed to himself. He was like a hidden dream. A piece of art displayed at a museum and the viewers are his critiques. So young and so mysterious. But soon the visiting would end. To be near him was crucial, not just to my mind but to my heart. _

_I hung out with my group of friends almost everyday. I take it because they all knew I was leaving they were surprisingly nice to Phai the exception being Roxanne. Always her being the rebel. She hated him so much. Man, did it get excruciatingly painful to hear her constantly bitching about him all the time, most times to his face. And Phai responded to it the same way we all did. Shut her off. I had gotten used to the jealousy Roxanne had in her eyes every time she saw me and Phai hanging out at school or in the gym or sitting with each other at lunch. She definitely became a handful later on. She had a major toll on my life and it cost me many things. Many special things. _

_Honestly I just wanted time with friends without the bitching and arguing and mind my complaints but there were some pleasant moments. We played in the back fields, we rode our bikes on the dirt path, and we watched movies, laughed and played. Constantly. The better word would be Always. Phai and I wrestled each other from time to time seeing who would top the other. He always won. Then my friends all joined in thinking they could take him down, but again he always won. No matter how hard I tried to pin him, he always ended up with me in the carpet, or the dirt or wherever it was we played. It was a ture gift he had as much as his many others._

_You should have seen it when I told everyone the news that I was moving, Roxanne looked like she was about to drop to the floor in tears. I have never seen such shocked appearances on anyone's faces before. My friends were completely skeptical. They could have created a riot with the way they were taking the news. They had this plan. They were all such big dreamers. We were suppose to grow up together, go to high school together, go to the same community college and go on from their. Maybe even work together at our own company someday. It sounded good. I hated the thought of leaving them all behind. But it was unrealistic. _

_Every time my friends mentioned how much they were going to miss me, Phai didn't want to hear it. Shit I didn't even want to hear it myself. He would get up leave the conversation. But I felt his pain. The time was coming by so fast. When you're bored, time drags. When you're having the time of your life and you don't realize your actually killing time, time flies by like the snap of a finger. I can't tell you how much I hated my parents after wards. I didn't think I could hate as much as I had. I refused to eat with them, talk to them unless I had to or I would argue with them about everything. I sound like a spoiled prick but it wasn't my fault dad couldn't keep his dick in his pants and it wasn't my fault mom had some personal grudge towards him. I say fuck them both. _

_Whenever I was tucked away in some quiet box I always thought of my doubts in what this departing could bring. What if I returned to California and Phai wasn't living their anymore. What if something happens and I die before my time and I can't see him again. What if we lose contact forever? I was already lucky enough to move from my home town to CA and end up in the same neighborhood as he in the first place. On top of that going to the same school. Luck and miracles, whichever one, were on my side. Now I am not so sure. We had just really started to get to know each other. And I mean very well. We talked to each other like we had been friends a long time ago. We've started to share secrets. We became comfortable enough talking about love and personal feelings like our fears and anger. _

_So we did what we had to do in order to keep the memory running. We hung out as much as possible until the day a moving truck was pulled up in front of my house. _

"I don't want you to go." Said Phai as Alex and he were in Phais' room looking out the window at Alex's mom talking with the moving truck guy.

Alex didn't answer. There wasn't much he can say that would change the minds of his parents. They were built that way, to shut everyone's opinions out but theirs.

"How many more days?" Phai asked looking at Alex.

"I've stopped counting." Alex replied and sat back down on Phais' bed. He didn't want the day to ever come. So it was better if he forgot.

"Let's not think about it then?" Phai suggested sitting gently and looking sadly at Alex.

"This is ridiculous. I'm living at the mercy of my parents." The blonde boy frowned.

"Most kids do." Phai reasoned. "What other choice do you have Alex. You can't fight your parents on this. Maybe if you were older you could."

"It's just not fair." Alex looked up at him. "It's not fair at all."

"What's not fair?" Phai asked sympathetically.

Alex stopped his tongue before he could say it. It wasn't fair that he was going to die and be taken away from the only person he had ever loved. The angels might as well take him now. "To be born with a destined fate." He answered.

"Sounds like you have been thinking a lot. What's your fate?" Phai asked shifting his weight.

"A fate of loss."

* * *

><p>Phillip headed over to the neighbors house and knocked on the door three times grumbling heavily under his breath. 'Where is that boy?" he mumbled again and then stepping away a little placing his hands deep in his pockets.<p>

Phais' mother opened the door seconds later with little Callista by her leg and when she saw who it was both girls frowned. "Oh you must be here for Alex. I'll go get him." The mother answered right away.

"Tell him to make it quick. I need his stuff out my house." Phillip snapped. He seemed quite embarrassed to even show his face after what happened but held his pride like a man.

The mother knew how men were including her own husband and just rolled her yes. 'Yes sir." And then moved inside the house and shouted courteously for Alex up the stairs. "Alex your father is in need of you!" After all this time she never wanted to give the boy up to his parents. She encouraged the boy over the house any time he wanted because his parents were rude and unfriendly. They for sure had some social problems.

Phai looked over at Alex and it was obvious Alex refused to move from the bed. "Are you not going Alex?" asked Phai concerned.

Alex shook his head just a tinge and stared off somewhere else in the room.

The mother saw Phai approach the top of the stairs and told her that Alex would be there in a minute. He gave the hint that it might take awhile.

She went back to the door and let the man come in. "He's getting his stuff. Would you like anything to drink, water, coffee?"

"No I am fine thank you." Phillip replied hardly even looking at her and just looking at what was around the kitchen. The mother again rolled her eyes and poured him some coffee anyway. She handed him the cup and he looked hesitant to take it but he did anyway sniffing it and then stirring it with his finger not caring about the temperture of the drink.

"So your son, he's a good kid. I always enjoy having him over." The mother spoke up placing one hand on her lean hip and the other supporting her on the counter top.

"Yea, I guess you can say that about him."

The mother blinked at the response resting her eyes on the man who seemed to not even look her in the eye. He appeared to have a problem with her house by scanning and touching every little thing and arranging it to what he saw fit. He was with no aknowledgment creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for them both.

"Uh would you like some sugar in your coffee? Cream?" she asked as nice as she could without sounding rude.

"No I like it raw thank you." Phillip said before snapping like a twig. "Alex!" he shouted up the stairs.

The mom jumped a bit at the sudden boom in his voice. "I'm sure he is coming Sir." She replied harshly. "My god give a woman a heart attack."

"I am kind of on a deadline." Phillip registered and no apology. He started pacing and rubbing his scruffy reddish brown beard like he was paranoid about something.

"Callista why don't you run up stairs and grab Alex for us please." The mother asked politely her daughter who was in the living room next to the kitchen watching TV.

The girl scooted off the couch moaning. "Sure I can do that." The girl gave the dad an evil eye and then ran up the stairs shouting for Alex.

"So my son is going to miss Alex." The mother thought she would continue hoping the father had cooled it with any anger withdrawals.

"Alex will be missed by a lot. It's something that has to be done." The stuck up man replied gravely looking anywhere but at her still.

Phai came down stairs followed quietly by Alex. Phillip extended his arm to his son. "Come Alex get your things out the house."

Alex only glared and left the house immediately. Phillip placed down his coffee cup he didn't even drink from and left behind his son.

"Where are his manners?" The mom cringed after the dad had left the door open. Then she left completely annoyed from the kitchen. "A boy shouldn't have to suffer with parents like that. I'm glad I'm good to mine."

Phai just stood quietly not knowing what else to say.

"I'm going to miss Alex." Callista whined moving her way sluggishly to the couch where her TV show was still playing. "His father looks like a serial killer. His mother looks like cat woman. It explains why Alex reminds me of a vampire. You mix a cat with a villain and you get a vampire."

"Honey he is not a serial killer. If he is then bless that boys soul." The mother replied.

Phai smiled at his families antics and when everything seemed right he walked out his front door and watched as both Alex's' parents now spoke with the moving truck man. It was so surreal. That Alex was leavign him. Everything was going to be so weird without him he thought. Aside from Tolem and Leon Alex was his only real friend.

Phai hopped off his porch and went to go check the mail even though he knew there was nothing in it because it was a weekend but he really wanted to get a closer look at Alex's parents. He wanted to get a better look at the people who were taking Alex from him. He closed the mailbox shut. He suddenly felt like he had to say something. Without thinking he walked over to where the adults were in a group. It was scary for him but he had enough courage and stopped them from talking, approaching their driveway.

"Hello. I was wondering if you needed any help with your move." All three adults stopped and glared at the boy like he was some demom child.

"We're fine." Phillip said abruptly. They went back to talking.

Phai cleared his small throat. "As Alex's friend I am going to keep in touch with him. Can I please have the new address where I can write to him?" The boy stated bravely. "Or some other way I can?"

Olympias turned her evil eyes and looked disgustingly at the boy who had one shoe unlaced and wore a plaid shirt and jeans that looked torn up. Then she smirked. "My father wouldn't be to happy arriving home with a bunch of junk mail. Beat it kid." She turned back at the man and started to speak cutting off the boy's request.

"It wouldn't be junk mail. It would simply be for Alex." He whispered feeling like a fool even bothering to come over.

He was talked over like he had no existence.

They all turned to see Alex approaching the truck with a box of things. "Why are you still here?" asked Phillip rudely to Phai.

"Sorry for my inconvenience." Phai answered and started to move back to his own house keeping his eyes on Alex. The boys both shared a cheeky smile.

_You want to know something great. I will tell you anyway. My parents despised Phai because they already saw in him the future of my life. As we grew older and the more Phai became a major part in my existence, my life and shelter, they feared him more than they feared their big bosses at work. More than the destruction of the war we hear on the news everyday, more than the thought of death. Why? Because he took me away from them. Forever. Enough away for them to realize every single mistake they had made with me and themselves. Enough away so that they realized their abandonment to me. Enough away so that they realized there is no one who could love me as much as he did. He owned them. A simple kid, no more than a baby to them, controlled their every decision of my life. _

_But that's later..._

_For days my mom and I were sleeping on the couches until we got all of our stuff packed. We didn't have much and we were probably going to be provided with everything we needed anyway but it was still a bitch. I dreaded the fact we were going to go stay with her dad in the springs. I didn't really like him. He treated me like I was stupid and a disgrace. We didn't get along at all. The worst part was that I couldn't escape them. What was out there in the springs? Absolutely nothing. Only uptight yuppie people and very expensive stores. That's all I had to look forward too? Are they for real? Or is this a stupid comedy. _

_My dad was up all night working in his office. And well I was up all night just because I had no choice. I would sit and hear my dad typing or talking away from the other room. I would hear my mother breathing slightly on the couch and I would hear my own heart beat beating faster and faster and faster every time the shadows of the sun sunk through the living room windows every morning. That means with every day that shines by, the sooner I leave him behind. I felt like this was not the only time I have left my beautiful Phai alone before. In fact I am sure it wasn't. _

_But…_

_The time finally came. Welcome to the worst day in my whole entire life. My stomach hurt so bad. Graduating students should feel proud to be out of school and moving on to the next level of adult hood but not me. I was sick literally. _

"Man I don't want Alex to leave." Said Tolem sitting with a hair pick placed in his frizzy fro.

"I know right." Said Leon chewing on a toothpick.

His friends all hung outside the principal's office where they spied Olympias speaking to the principal. She was dressed casual in boot cut jeans, business heels and a plain red tshirt, with sunglasses on top of her head.

Cassy stood folding his arms leaning against the lockers, while the rest sat on the floor. "Well at least he will be able to visit. I think that's what I heard my dad and his dad say, is that Alex would come and visit at times." the green eyed boy hoped he heard right.

"What I heard from my dad is that his mom doesn't want Alex to have anything at all to do with his dad." Said Phil sighing.

Roxanne sat in a pout not saying a word and looking completely miserable like her favorite toy just got hit by a car and their was no way to repair it. "I hate his mom." She said. "She's so evil."

"That's why Phillip probably left her in the first place." Replied Cleitus.

_Since my father was friends with most of my friend's parents it was a common fact that my parents had a huge reputation going around in the neighbor hood and partially the school. We all might as well had been related because we were that close. But Phai, he was a different story. He was a whole other problem. I loved him. Deeply. He was the one I wanted to share my life with. He was the one I wanted to give my heart too. I wanted to share with him my feelings and doubts. My entire soul. I think I can admit I was obsessed with him. But it was an obsession that was so pure and so entrancing. _

Alex found Phai in the locker room getting all his stuff and placing it in a bag. He didn't want to startle him so he just watched him for awhile. He looked so serene and lovely but still so mind bothered and he couldn't help but stare. No one was in the locker room just those two and Alex swallowed closing his troubled eyes.

"Hey Phai?" his voice came off as a little note, not as strong as he wished it would have been.

Phai stood from the bench quickly and looked over at Alex, who stood with his hands deep in his jeans pockets. "Hey Alex." The browned haired boy smiled until he saw that there was no smile on Alex's face. He tossed his swim trunks into his duffel bag. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I have to go now. My mom is outside waiting for me."

Phai frowned in acceptance. "When will you be back?"

_It was definitely a question I could not answer but I planned on being back before I would lose him completely. But according to the silence of my answer he assumed I would never return. It was so hard to walk away. I never wanted this day to come. It felt like the end. I wish I had the strength to stay and not walk. This was not my plan but it was out of my control. Next thing I knew my lips had touched his. It was as chaste as it could be. I just couldn't let him go. I don't think I could have answered with words to be honest. So many things had been left unsaid. This was my first official kiss that we shared. Other times they were just pointless pecks but this time there was more of a innate and special feel to it, something as great as magic. But like I said, so many things were left unsaid. _

_I can already picture it. I would leave to another state. I will be welcomed by my mother's dad. I will meet new friends. I would be sitting in a empty room thinking about everything I could have done to prevent it. All I had was gone. _

_We pulled away from the kiss and he stared at me. God save me. Water falling from his crystal eyes. I always thought boys were too tough to cry, but no. Proof was before me. I started to turn away. It was a sin. The sins of betrayal, the sins of our love, the sins of sadness and reminiscence. I felt like both our incoming tears if not unleashed now, they would bleed into the sky. _

_My footsteps were heavy each time I stepped from his presence. I couldn't even turn to look at him. If I did I would probably never see my mother again. I made it through the school doors to see my mother parked out front. The sounds of my friends yelling for me were overlooked. _

_I touched the handle of the car door and I opened it unwillingly. My mom was on her phone. I situated myself in the front seat, eyes down, head down, thinking why in the hell am I doing this. What the hell was wrong with me?and why the fuck did I have to catch dad cheating and fall into that pond. If I hadn't, none of this would have happened. It couldn't be fought though, outmatched, outran. I closed my eyes again. It was all my fault._

/

_**Alexander, don't leave me, please. I need you.**_

_He cries for me. His voice echoes away. _

_\_

_Next thing the car started up and we were gone._

"Alex!" Shouted Phai after the mom drove off with his friend. He started to run after the car but the wheels moved faster than his legs ever could. He stopped once he heard a voice call for him. It was Tolem. The frizzy haired boy caught up with him.

"Come on Phai, we'll see him again." Said the tired boy placing his hand on his shoulder.

Phai shook his head and watched the car turn the corner. "No we won't."

_Life is never perfect. Everyone had a time when they lost something very special to them for a long time just to find it later in the attic or in boxes stocked up high in the garage. The thing was they never lost it to begin with. They had it with them the whole time, it was just misplaced. _

_I was his misplacement. Oh but we found each other again and Phai stole me back from my mom the same way my mom stole me from him. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Eleven**

/

Hephaistion hurried out of the king's tent and made his way over to the meeting tent where the generals were all gathered. He was fuming in anger and his fists were twitching in hate.

"What is the meaning of this?" The sick general voiced angrily storming in, like a strong wind at the rest who were sitting around speaking amongst each other.

"Ah Hephaistion we are glad you can join us." said Cassander in a spiteful tone. "You finally removed your hand from the kings."

"Hurry and speak!" the blue eyed general yelled fiercely ignoring the other generals attempt at being mocking.

They had sent Ptolemy to go summon him from the king's tent and tell him the new plans that were agreed amongst the generals and the soldiers.

None seemed to want to answer the angry general and Hephaistion shouted for them to stop hiding their tongues and speak. "What is the meaning of this decision? No one asked me to join in this council." He stated his entire body tense.

Craterus smirked. "It is already difficult to get you unattached from Alexander to begin with. What makes you think we would have succeeded in getting you out?"

"I am here aren't I?"

Leonnatus hurried before the blue eyed general trying to calm him down before he attacked Craterus.

"Calm down Hephaistion. They mean you no wrong." The sandy colored haired general attempted at the bigger man who was trying to shove him aside.

"Move, Leonnatus!" It didn't sound like Hephaistion and it didn't look like Hephaistion. The resistant general before them had become one of the furies.

"It's for your own good." Craterus spat ready for another confrontation remembering when he and the Chiliarch attacked each other. "And Alexander's."

"And what is my own good Craterus! You and the others know nothing of me!"

This time it was Perdicas helping Leonnatus trying to keep the furious general composed.

Cassander stood up calmly. "Hephaistion relax. What Leonnatus says is the truth. We mean you no harm with this. But Alexander isn't well. He's been out for a week. There is no way the gods or a miracle from Zeus himself could save him."

"We must pack up camp now. We've won the battle. It's time to go home." Craterus renounced.

"That is Alexander's decision." Hephaistion spoke with obscurity.

"He's not awake. He is on the brink of death Hephaistion. What are you not understanding?" Craterus yelled back.

"Give it just another week." Hephaistion tried reasoning. "His heart still beats."

"Then it's going to turn into months." The bigger general registered back at Hephaistions tolerance.

Everyone else remained quiet and regretful of the situation while Cassander, Craterus and Hephaistion were being in the spotlight.

"Phillip is doing everything he can to help him. Please just another week." Tears were started to cloud his blue eyes, now pleading for them to spare his life.

"Another week proves he has no more life." Perdicas replied. "We will end it then."

"Fever has taken him." Again Cassander spoke the obvious thinking if he pointed it out enough, the worked up general just might come to an acceptance.

Hephaistions' brown lashes flickered with everything imputed. His eyes became hidden and he relaxed for awhile and suddenly everything was quiet, no one daring to make the first remark.

They couldn't see the anger in his expression anymore even though it was there deep within while he was in thought.

Cassander looked at Craterus motioning with his eyes that he was suppose to bring up something else. The faster they spoke of it the quicker it would get over.

Craterus sighed deeply. "Also Hephaistion we have come to a conclusion that you are not capable of your position as Chiliarch."

"Who are you to decide that?" Hephaistion spoke with a voice accurately calloused.

"Look at yourself. You are barely eating or sleeping. What kind of second in command can fulfill out missions if they aren't well. Chances are you will be dead soon anyway as well as your king." It sounded shameful but Craterus meant it as the truth.

Hephaistion before he knew shoved passed Leonnatus and Perdicas and took Craterus by the throat gripping him hard and trying to strangle him but the bigger and stronger general pushed him off.

"Don't you dare speak ill of your king!" Hephaistion spat once being pulled back from many other now joined in hands.

Craterus glared at him with gritted teeth wiping at his neck. "I am just as much as a friend to Alexander as you are but he is not well and neither are you. Face the truth Hephaistion. Stop being so blinded by love. Alexander might not make it."

"So that's your plan? You're just going to pull him out of his misery even though he still breaths. Then like you've all wanted, fight each other and take the throne from him?"

"That is not our intention."

Hephaistion looked at Ptolemy, who normally would have had his side.

"Ptolemy you know Alexander better than them all. He is strong. He will wake up. Please help me with this."

"I'm sorry Hephaistion." Ptolemy just shook his head in indignity. It was obvious the curlied haired general had already made up his mind in the previous congregation without his presence.

"A week Hephaistion. That's it." It was Craterus' last words to him.

It was final. He was outnumbered and had to except his king's fate as well as his. If Alexander didn't awake in a week, they would end his life, take him to Macedonia to be buried and then Hephaistion would go back home and start a new life.

He went back to the kings tent and knelt down by him.

"This is the price I must pay for loving you Alexander. If you loved me in return you would wake up."

* * *

><p>Phai walked carefully along the bleachers, keeping steady in the middle, while during his lunch hour. He would have joined his few group of new friends but he wanted no company and wanted only time for himself. He's been actually wanting that a lot lately, even though he wasn't much of a social person to begin with. Also it was a nice day out. He might as well enjoy every part of it.<p>

He took a breath and finally sat down looking out at the sophmore football players on the field. He was fifteen now and already had high expectations for his life. He had joined many sports team. Football, swimming and track and he was good at all, but mostly swimming.

He was glad that he still had Tolem and Leon to hang out with though, even though Cassy, Phil and Crater were still in existence. He kind of wished his mother hadn't put him in the same high school as them but it was convenient and close to their house. Now he had to deal with seeing them everyday and the worst part was that they were all apart of the football team.

He cringed, just thinking of Roxanne. She was also still in existence. It was already his sophomore year of high school and she was still the queen bitch of the school. She was already spreading rumors about him which made the girls either not want to talk to him or the boys laugh at him. He could careless though. There were few people apart of his life and those that weren't and everyone so far weren't apart of it. The one person who he wanted to be apart of was gone.

He started to search through his bag of food already knowing he wasted enough time in thought but suddenly he didn't feel like eating anymore and pushed the bag aside. He had been thinking about Alex a lot and what he said about coming back to find him. He frowned wondering if it would be true. Would Alex really waste his time just to chase after a boy he only had gotten to know for a number of months?

Cassy nudged Crater hard on the shoulder and motioned him to where the brunette haired teenager was sitting on the bleachers. Crater peered upon Cassy inquiringly. "What about him Cassy. He's a nerd eating lunch." The bigger teen shrugged his shoulders. "He will eventually choke on his food."

"Crater you misunderstand me. I want him." Cassy replied fiercely.

Crater almost choked on the air at the crazy words his friend just spouted. "Uh, come again." Crater took off his helmet to get a better look at Cassy who seemed to have eyes infatuated on Phai.

"I want him as in I want to have sex with him and break his heart."

Crater looked dumbfounded for awhile before clearing his throat uncomfortably. "You mean, you like boys?"

Cassy laughed gimmicky and looked up to his friend. "No Crater. Feelings have nothing to do with this. I just want him." He smirked. "And break his heart." he rephrased.

Cassy then leaped up about to head off but was grabbed by Crater. "Wait a minute Cassy, what for?" Crater seemed confused at Cassy's sudden digression and ditching the team from their practice.

"Because I am an asshole." It was his final answer and Crater gave up and let him head over to Phai who was lost gazing in space staring at the bleachers.

The sudden emergence of the green eyed boy hardened Phais' facial expression. He just never left him alone. He was entirely contented with no company and he didn't need to be bothered at the moment.

Cassy smiled and hid nothing back and took a heavy seat next to Phai and wrapping his arm around his shoulders. "What's up Phai. You enjoying the sight out there?" He pointed to the foot ball players on the field.

"Sure Cassy." Phai knocked his arm away from him and Cassy just smiled.

"So what are you eating?" The bully was about to search through his packed bag of food until Phai snatched away and placed it on the other side of him.

"Piss off Cassy." Cassy wasn't bothered at all with the boy's features rising in loathe. Infact he just chuckled about it.

"Why aren't you out there practicing with us?"

"Because I am on lunch." Phai pronounced unkindly, hoping it got through Cassy's thick skull that he didn't want him around at all. "So go away. I will be there when I am ready."

"So we have noticed ever since Alex moved you have been more shied away from humanity. Why is that? Was he the only one you enjoyed being around?" Cassy randomly decided to ask.

Phais' eyes were now resting themselves in a fixed gaze at Cassy. "I never talked to you to begin with and I never enjoyed being around any of you ever." Phai gave a mean glare. "And Alex has nothing to do with this."

Phai grabbed at his things but Cassy stopped him from getting up by putting one hand on his thigh and inching closer to him. "I don't think that is necessarily true. It was obvious." He said in a shrewd tone.

"What was?" Phai was now completely annoyed.

"You know you and Alex. It was obvious you had a thing for each other. I mean why else would he kiss you in the locker room."

Before Cassy felt it, a fist met his face but he just laughed as Phai stood up and took his things and left. "I will see you on the field Phai." The amused bully voiced loudly but Phai didn't answer him and kept walking.

Crater and Perdicas rolled their eyes when seeing Cassy approaching them holding his stomach from laughing too hard.

"What did you do this time?" Perdicas asked but looking at how hard Cassy was laughing he changed his mind and took the question back. They saw Leon and Tolem walking towards them on the field ready to practice.

"Nothing." Cassy said finally calming then gathering in all the team players to get into positions. The coach had put Cassy in lead of the team because he was the best and he took every advantage he had to be in control.

"Where's Phai. Is he going to join us?" asked Tolem curiously attaching the safety pads on his knees and elbows. Phai was never late for any meets. Most of the time he was the first one on the field.

"He will be here." Said Cassy smugly. "He just needs time."

"Okay." Tolem said, he and Leon sharing an akward glance.

* * *

><p>Phai went to the locker room and sat down on one of the benches. He started fidgeting with his hands and then his hair, nervously wondering how Cassy found that out. Did someone tell him or had he been watching them on such a private moment. He didn't understand why he was feeling so nervous and shaken about it, maybe because Cassy now knew he liked another boy and had something to spread and talk about with his friends. Sooner or later it would get to Roxanne's ears and she would have blast getting the news out to the world. Not to mention she was completely in love with Alex. If she heard that they kissed she would probabaly find ways to ruin his life.<p>

He took his hands and rubbed his face groaning against his palms.

Back on the field the boys stopped their laps and saw Phai walking by the bleachers, not in his uniform and his bag and everything were packed up.

Cassy smirked knowing he was the cause of it. "Where are you going Phai, you are supposed to be out here with the rest of us."

"I'm going home."

"Are you not feeling well?" asked Tolem anxiously. 'Because if you're sick I can walk you home."

"No I am fine thanks." The boy answered abruptly, and kept walking.

"What are you mad at what I said? I was just joking." Cassy shouted once the boy was far enough. Phai didn't answer and kept ignoring him.

"Yep. He's mine." Cassy muttered under his breath and then gained back all the attention of the team.

* * *

><p>Phai, disgusted with school today, came home and went up to his room without saying high to his sister who was watching TV or is mother who was studying at the kitchen table for her nursing job.<p>

"How was school honey?" the mother shouted, until she just heard is bedroom door close. "Okay, sorry that I even asked." She murmured.

"Mom is Phai emo?" eleven year old Callista asked out of the blue.

"What is emo?" a huge question marked placed on the mother's forehead as she frowned thinking that the word alone was weird.

"Never mind you wouldn't know, you're too old. You have to be a fan of today's music to understand what it is."

"Right. Callista stop what you are doing and go bring Phai some hot chocolate please. That always calms him down." She conveyed.

"Why should I. He didn't even say hi to me." The girl argued back mostly because she was entranced watching the Jonas Brothers live on TV.

"He would do it for you."

"I know. I know. Things I do for him." She jumped her body actively off the couch and ran to the kitchen.

Phai was sitting at his desk working on his homework when he heard a knock on his door and the voice he wasn't sure he wanted to hear at the moment.

"Phai, I brought you something!"

Maybe if I don't say anything she would go away, he thought. He placed in his ear phones and continued with his homework.

"Mom he's not answering!"

"Do what you do best and walk in."

"Gotcha." Callista ran back to his room but carefully with his coffee cup and opened his door. "Here Phai, I got a present for you even though it's not your birthday."

He rolled his eyes hearing her through his ear phones. "What do you want Callista?" he turned his torso to face her.

"Mom wanted me to bring you some hot chocolate. But if you don't drink it I will." she offered.

"Or you can go make your own." He said taking it from her and smiling. He always loved hot chocolate. Hot chocolate would be his anti depressant if he ever became depressed.

"So how was school?' she asked smiling big and adorably thinking he might reply just because of her loveliness.

He smiled with his lips on the edge of the cup. "How was school for you?" he questioned back.

"I asked first."

"It's not important. Back to you."

"I have a lot of friends. My birthday is also coming up soon and I want to invite them all over and we can have a sleep over." She hopped excitedly.

"Not when I am in the house." Phai refused.

"Actually mom says you have to be in charge incase the doctors office calls her into work that day. Also dad might be coming home soon."

Phai just smiled sadly. "Good. I can't wait to see him."

"Why do you look so down? Did something happen at school? Is that why you're in a bad mood?" Callista pouted. It was never pleasant to see her brother in a crappy mood. The days seemed to be getting more crappier for him.

"No reason." He turned away from her and went back to his piles of homework sprawled on his desk.

"Hey remember Alex. Do you ever miss him?" she asked peculiarly as her big brown eyes lifted in sudden remembrance.

"I never stopped." He replied, then gazing into his cup of thick liquid. "Can you please go now?' he asked his nicest trying not to hurt her feelings.

"Err, I was right about you. You are emo."

/

_The day is sunny and the sky still doesn't compare to how blue his eyes can get._

_**Why are you walking ahead of me?**_

_The king stumbles up to his lover. They are walking along a quiet path._

_**Why are you walking behind me?**_

_His lover answers as he calmly walks enjoying the spring breeze. _

_**You're walking fast.**_

_The blonde man looks frustrated as he tries to keep up with his lover. _

_**You have short legs Alexander.**_

_The king stops in his track and frowns__**. Do I really Phai?**_

_The insightful general nods his head teasingly but still continues to walk ahead. _

_**Where are we walking anyway? Where are you taking the king?**_

_The blonde asks more questions that only make his friend smile__**. **_

_**You followed me Alexander. I can't answer questions of what I have no knowledge.**_

_The king is now limping with foot soreness. _

_**How can you walk so long without knowing where your direction is?**_

_**Why do you ask? We march all the time with out knowing an accurate direction.**_

_The general questions his king by looking at him with a solemn gaze. _

_His king shrugs and comes to realize. _

_**I suppose. **__He then smirks charmingly.__** You want to race? I can prove to you I don't have short legs.**_

_**Are you going to catch up to me with sore feet? **__His general tests his ability._

_**You bet by Zeus balls I will. **__The king challenges._

_**Good. But don't go crying to your friends when you lose sight of me.**_

_**I will never lose sight of you.**_

\

"Mr. Alex!" the teacher cleared his throat. "Look up at the board and focus please. There is nothing worse than a teacher trying to get students to graduate when they don't want to." The teacher faces back towards the board shaking his head with an attitude.

Alex sat back in his seat and ran his hand through his messy blonde hair smiling. His dreams made him blush. The general in his visions made him blush. He missed Phai so much. He was starting to wonder if he had already lost sight of him.

He was snapped out of his rather entertaining atmosphere when he sensed someone eyeing him. He turned to see a girl with dark green eyes shaped like olives and dark long black hair and a soft looking rounded face. She was looking at him with a flirtatious smile. He uneasily smiled back.

_So this is where I met her. My first girlfriend._

"So you're the new kid?" she asked Alex once school got out and they were heading to the lockers.

"I've been here for a good year about." He answered sarcastically but playfully.

"I haven't seen you around. Why is that?" she held her books close to her and she wore a blue jean jacket over a screen tee with dark blue skinny jeans complimenting her shape.

"Some people can be blind." Alex answered getting into his locker. He wasn't planning on going home. Like most of the boys he had joined the gym class and had to stay after school ended.

"I am not blind." She answered to his weird remark but he didn't answer her back.

She wasn't so certain about his weirdness but something about him had her fixated especially his noticeable colored eyes.

"So what's your name?" she encouragingly tried to keep up with conversation.

"Alex." He answered. "Yours?"

"Barsine."

"Interesting." He closed his locker door and she just watched him for awhile while he buttoned up his black over shirt

"You're cute. Do you have a girlfriend? If you do she must be very lucky." Barsine spoke up her mouth thinking before her mind.

_Do I have a girlfriend? This question becomes much complicated. Do I have a girlfriend? The answer is no. At least I think it's no. _

"No. I don't." Alex replied looking away from her confused with his feelings.

"No way. Your gorgeous face has to have a girlfriend." She blushed at her own outspokenness and the way he smiled at her.

"I don't."

"Why? Are you gay?"

He looked at her but didn't answer.

_I've dated three people in my life. Barsine. Roxanne and Phai. I only remained faithful for one of them. It might be cheating to you but I didn't know how to talk to girls. They were always so needy and just wanted someone to care for them. It was hard to say no to their face because they wanted to only hear what they wanted to hear. One, that they were beautiful. Two, that you want to live with them forever. Three, that they are your world. _

_But it always ends with a heart break. Neither Roxanne nor Barsine could have as fragile as a heart as Phai did. He was innocent. He was pure. They were not. _

_But like usual I made another big mistake in my life almost breaking his heart. _

_I thought I was going to die before I even hit high school. The doctor told me something around the age of fifteen, sixteen and here I am as a fifteen year old. So I thought why not. I had already failed and fucked up. Barsine was the closest person I had as a lover at the time and I assume I was never going to see Phai again. I lied to him. I told him I would be back when I got a car and lived on my own. It doesn't look like that is going to happen however. _

"No. I'm not gay." he didnt know if it was a lie or the truth.

"Well, then what? I don't have any one?" she admitted

"Why? Are you gay?" he asked sarcastically his attempt at flirting.

_It obviously worked because after that conversation we started to date. I promise you though I never abandoned Phai. He was always first to me. _

_But I thought of it this way. When I die I will be leaving him behind. I don't want that. Barsine can have me dead. There is something about it and I don't quite mind. Maybe that is hurtful to her but after awhile you stop caring. _

_I never stopped caring about Phai but I was giving up, and that was my biggest mistake. I was soon giving up on everything my dreams meant to me. How could I even think about giving up on my Phai? What was wrong with me? _

_What was wrong was me thinking I will never see him again because I would be found on the side street dead or something. What was wrong was me thinking I didn't have the strength to get Phai back as my lover and to live for it. What was wrong was me giving up on hope and drowning in self pity. _

_I must say I am proud though. I fought death for the longest time. I got Phai back. _

_xxxxxxx_

**_Sorry it took so long. Forgive me please : Much love to you all._**

**_stranger_**


	13. Chapter 13

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twelve**

/

It was late. Phai was listening to his music until he heard a tap at his window. It sounded like a small pebble was hitting the glass. He turned to look for the cause of the disturbance and his body only registered the temperature of fire burning in his eyes. Cassy had opened his window and climbed into his room with no problem acting as if breaking and entering was common.

Cassy smirked at the boy who looked like a vampire ready to kill its victim.

"Get the hell out of my room Cassy. No one invited you!" Phai whipped his earphones off and slammed them onto his desk.

"Stop your worrying Phai." The green eyed boy landed his laced up wet boots onto his room carpet smiling with any decency. Apparently to the teen it wasn't a big deal that the clock was almost hitting midnight.

He was dressed in a heavy grey pea coat that he borrowed from his father. It was raining outside and the bully thought he would just drop by unexpectedly despite the stormy weather. He thought it gave him more of a dramatic appearance.

"Get out Cassy!" Phai kept his voice down and tried to shove Cassy back out the window knowing if he succeeded he might have committed murder, the tree being the only safety net.

Cassy who currently did not care what the boy thought, took Phais' hands and backed him away. "Relax pretty boy, your mom is not going to hear me. She's probably sleeping anyway." He mentioned rattling his soft wet hair and looking around at his half clean, half messy room. "Nice room you got here."

Phai folded his arms and sighed heavily. "Please just go."

Cassy sent him a naughty glint in his eye. "I haven't even said what I am here to say. Don't rush me."

"Then make it quick!" Phai growled silently, keeping in mind his sister and mothers rooms were down the hall

Cassy smirked and looked at the angry blue eyes more. "My, my, you are angry with me. Actually I think you are livid. Am I right?" His green eyes brightened in teasing demeanor.

Everything seemed like a game to him which annoyed the brunette greatly. "You are in my house with no permission. I don't like you enough to have you enter my house even if you were invited." The brunette angrily voiced back. "Now either get out now, or tell me what you are here to say. I don't have time for any of this."

"You don't have time for anything it seems." Cassy mumbled back. "I just came here to talk to you, that's all." He tried his best to sound less antagonizing.

"About what?" Phai was getting less patient.

Cassy perched on the unkempt bed watching Phais' grim expression. "About what I said to you, at school? It was completely wrong for me to say that. I shouldn't have interfered with you and Alex's personal life. I mean it's not my business to know who you like." He said quite convincing but Phai wasn't stupid. As convincing and sorry as the boy sounded he knew it was most likely bullshit and rehearsed.

"You were watching us?" Phai looked back at him vitally.

"No, a friend told me he saw you two, and you and Alex kissed."

"Okay someone else told you, then how do you know it's true or not?' Phai questioned.

"Well why wouldn't it be?" Cassy stood swaying his arm mutually. "Alex has been staring at you since day one. It was only a matter of time until he kissed you. He's not very good at hiding his feelings."

Phai bit his tongue and averted his eyes away from Cassy's. "So let's say it is true, why do you care then?"

"Well, because he doesn't deserve you." Cassy replied bluntly now touching the things on Phais' desk. Cassy hid a smirk and picked up a paper he noticed on the desk. "What's this?"

Before he could finish with another question he felt the paper tore free from his hand.

Phai folded the paper turning annoyed even more. He had gotten over the fact that he and Alex had been caught. He didn't care about that anymore. "Who I chose and who I think is good for me is my decision."

"So you think Alex is right for you?" Cassy asked thinking Phai a fool.

"I am saying THAT Alex and I don't even know ourselves." Phai forced furiously.

"You can agree to disagree, but you have to be aware of things before you start to move any closer. Relationships can be tough."

"What are you talking about?" the blue eyed teen tried not to bark loudly. Cassy was starting to turn him vaguely ill, like he had just downed an entire bottle of stale water.

"It's always the people you think you connect with that you realize you have no connection or bond with at all. Alex could hurt you in the future." He made it sound like the two were playing a dangerous game.

"So you are here to give me a friendly warning. You are far from pathetic Cassy."

The green eyed boy smiled to himself as if pissing people off was a private pass time.

"I am just telling you the truth." Cassy stepped up to him. "Maybe you need someone who won't hurt you and never leave you. Alex left you didn't he?"

Cassy eyed him with something unfamiliar to the brunette. Phai didn't know whether it was infatuation or lust or maybe both. Or it was just Cassy being creepy.

"He had no choice." Phai pointed out the obvious. There was nothing Alex could do. They were so young then.

"I know, but if I were him, I would never leave you."

Phai admitted to himself, Cassy was really good-looking. He was everything the girls wanted, sassy, strong and flirtatious.

Phai sighed. "So what you are telling me is that you like me?"

"Duh, couldn't you tell after all these years?" Cassy took a small step toward Phai.

Phai only managed a slight nod. It wasn't much of a reward when Cassy suddenly forced his mouth onto Phais' lips because seconds later Cassy then felt a knee meet his gut. The stumbling boy moved away holding his stomach and hearing a laughing Phai. He looked up disbelieving and Phai shook his head, his hair wobbling at his face.

"We are only fifteen and you're making a move on me you idiot! To think I have any feelings for you is not even in my wildest imagination. To think you can turn me on and play me is even worst!" The boy suddenly spat after his wild outburst. "You don't think I know your kind. The kind who like to play with peoples minds, trying to lure them into a love trap only to break their heart later on because you get pleasure by that. You do not like me at all. You want to sleep with me and show me off because I am good looking. I am sorry Cassy but you climbed through the wrong window."

Cassy didn't know what to say. His jaw was tight. He just got humiliated and the brunette saw right through him. He expected to use all his charm and slyness to attract the boy into bed with him and it didn't work out in anyway he thought it would. He clutched his stomach once more before standing straight. "So that's how you feel about me, nothing in return?" Cassy asked, surprisingly not choking on his word especially through the pain.

"You catch on quick."

Everything paused and Phai waited until Cassy decided to leave who was standing with his mouth tense and eyebrows knitted, lines creasing his forehead.

"Now you know how it feels. I need my sleep." Phai recommended raking his hands though his hair and forced a satisfied smile when Cassy still wearing a stuck up face left his window flushed in embarrassment.

He had people approach him all the time as if he was weak and could be stomped on, but he wasn't and never would he be weak within the presence of selfish love. Why so many fell under that spell was beyond him.

He sat back down at his desk after shutting the window and making sure it was locked. He looked upon the paper he took from Cassy picked up his pencil and continued writing the letter to Alex. Cleitus somehow got the information of the new address from Alex's father and snuck it to him.

Cassy wasn't going to be happy tomorrow, Phai thought. His blue eyes suddenly contained an allusion of sadness looking back over his words to Alex.

He hadn't gotten a letter back in return and figured Alex didn't care anymore. What was the purpose in sending another one? His fingers stopped in defiance. He ran his fingers down the edge of the paper.

He shook his head. He was not in the mood so he headed to the door and shut off his lights.

* * *

><p><em>Colorado is a dreadful place. I never detested something so much. The school I was going to was boring. The teachers had no personality and I literally felt locked up in an X shaped box if that is even possible. It was a shame really because I always wanted to travel. I was fond of seeing other places.<em>

_I am now forever nostalgic. I lived so comfortably where I was before I came here. Like most mothers, my mom only followed her own advice. She told me it was good to see the world, go to different places and meet new people. Sure. I would have believed it. But I will name you all the many new people I met. _

_Barsine. And that's it. I didn't know many people who would be classified as friends. I didn't want any either. My mother considered my lack of social life a problem and thought it would be sensible for me to see a special counselor at my school. She thought I had some problems and she still couldn't get over the falling into the pond thing. She even had her father devasted after telling him about it. He started to hide all the knives and sharp objects in the house like a paranoid drug dealer when they see cops around thinking I might try to hurt myself. Bitch please. I fell in a pond. Pond? Knife? Two different things yet he believes they work the same. _

_I went though to the appointments. I had sessions with him once a week, thank god. I hardly spoke. I just nodded and yawned while he asked me the number one question of the day. _

"_Why don't you talk about your feelings?"_

_I was lost here and I lost him there. Every time I think of him, I strive for sleep. I search in rough vain for it. I force my eyes closed but always manage not to. I figure if I slept I wouldn't die and perhaps last longer because truly and deeply I want him so bad. I don't want to live without him and most of all leave him in this cruel world. I want to see him just one last time and make everything right. _

_Those were my feelings I didn't share. Those were the feelings I kept secret. _

Alex entered is mothers fathers house, Neolemus, and closed the door shut. He came home late after his gym classes were over and his mother was off at work. He had been stuck with her father almost all week and he was starting to drive him crazy even though it wasn't much of an understatement. The worst part was that she knew her father didn't like him. It was never nice coming home from school with him being home. He was always talking shit. The house always smelt of something weird and nothing familiar like he was used to. There wasn't a lot to compare. He would rather smell the strong scented cigarettes his father smoked, causing the rooms to reek like an ash tray.

He had been to his original hometown, to the long state of California and now he was placed at the center state in North America. All three places appointed but he did not share as many memories until he came to California and met the brown-haired boy.

Most of the lights in the house were off and he quietly moved into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. It was stocked with food but nothing he liked. His grandfather was on some sort of diet only buying almond milk, a lot of vegetables and everything young teens did not eat.

Alex stepped back, dropping his back pack to the floor glad to get the weight off his back and started to dig more into the frig hoping to find something edible. He frowned, finding nothing but packaged salami and turkey and some bread to make a sandwich. His stomach had been growling all day and would have decided to go out and buy some fast food but he was broke at the moment. The sports classes had him always arriving home raiding the cabinets and everything in the house.

Another reason why his grandfather didn't like him. The boy ate a lot. He was growing immensely.

Neolemus entered the kitchen sensing that he was home. He grunted and folded his arms high up on his big chest watching Alex quietly making his sandwich.

The man had salt and pepper longish hair and a mean long face. Alex just looked up at him, shook his head with a smile but didn't say anything and went back to what he was doing.

"Are you going to say hi to me?" the older man asked reaching into the cabinets to make himself some coffee.

"Hi." Alex mumbled. He brought a finger to his mouth and licked the knife that he used to spread the mayonnaise and mustard.

"Pfft, it's a wonder why my wonderful daughter could put up with such a disgusting unpleasant child." The older man jerked his coffee cup out of the cabinet and slammed it semi hard on the counter.

"Well then be disappointed with her. She's the one who didn't abort me like you suggested." The boy noted.

"Always a smartass. I kind of wished she had." The grumpy old man grumbled pouring the dark brown liquid into his cup.

"And you need to go to a retirement home where you could be cranky around people just like you." Alex gazed up at him, smirked and tossed the deli meat back into the refrigerator while the man glared sharply. Alex kicked the frig shut. "You know, meet new friends." Another arrogant smile rose upon his face.

"You better be thankful boy that you have a roof over your head and that I was happy to take you in." The old man announced harshly and hitting the edge of the counter shaking his coffee cup as the glass rattled against the tile.

'You weren't happy to take me in, you were happy to take my mom in and I am just another burden to bear. Well fuck you." Alex yelled defensively before walking away until the man lunged at him and took the boy strongly by the arm and pushed him up against the frig. He adjusted the boy's posture so that they were facing each other.

Both of there locked eyes were imposing.

"You will not raise your voice with me as long as you are in my house and if I hear you say another foul word I will wash your mouth out with soap."

Alex snapped to attention. "You are not going to lay a hand on me old bitch. Don't expect me to bow down to you because you think you did me a favor by inviting me into your stupid house. I didn't want it. I play by my own rules." The teen argued fiercely snatching his arm away.

The man rose his hand high ready to hit him but the vicious glare the boy gave him told him to turn the other cheek.

The old man could explode by how red his face was turning. He dropped his brutal hand by his side. The man shook off his plans for having coffee and left the kitchen mumbling under his breath and growling in frustration.

Alex turned to look at his sandwich and didn't feel hungry anymore. He bent down to pick up his things scattered on the kitchen floor. He swung his backpack back over his shoulder and took his sandwich incase he grew hungry again.

_I didn't know how I saw it. Or how I sensed it even. Maybe Phai and I were closer than we thought we were. I wasn't smiling to begin with but I still felt my face die. I looked down at the trash can next to me. I dropped everything to the floor again. What I caught sight of had me drown in all emotions. I frowned deeply in sadness. Was this another betrayal to him because I didn't notice? I traced the beautiful print of his handwriting. _

_And to think I would never hear from him again. Why is this?_

_The beautiful general in my dreams once told the king that he was blinded by what is important because he had so much to take care of. Maybe this is why I didn't notice, because I had so many things on my mind that I needed to take care of. _

Alex paused for a long moment before he reached over and pulled two ripped pieces of envelope paper sitting on top of the trash for his different eyes to see.

"What?" He whispered to himself with incredulity. The letter was ripped down the middle and he quickly put them together. He recognized the torn pieces as a letter sent from Phai. This whole time Phai was trying to contact him and for what? For him to miss out. Alex put the papers aside. He suddenly turned angrier than he already was.

"Who did this?" he first whispered then got the strength and yelled. Seeing the letter alone made his stomach sting. He knocked over the tin can and got to his knees searching through it more. He didn't care what was in the trash all he cared about was finding the rest of the letters from his old neighborhood friend. He took out a few more trashed envelopes sent and dated apart from each other.

After moments of trying to calm his own anger he halted when he heard Neolemus come in and clutch him off of the floor and force him aside. "What are you doing searching through the trash can you savage boy?"

The old man crunched down balancing onto the balls of his feet and started cleaning up the mess Alex had made. The boy ignored his complaints, completely mesmerized at the lost letters after so many years. He looked as if a bolt of lighting struck him in the face after he decided to play with thunder.

By this time the furious boy was standing out front before the mailbox desperately searching through the series of mail. But he found nothing more for him. He was tempted to scream. He blinked distractedly not knowing what to do and what came to mind was merciless. Alex made up his roiling mind. He snatched the mail that was inside and made his way back into the house pushing by his grandfather who was still picking up the trash and mumbling that he was ungrateful.

_I can't tell you how bad my body was boiling. It was not a surprise though how angry I got. To take my letters and throw them away was a huge lack of my personal respect. In anger I usually make unconscious decisions but this was my conscious telling me to do this. If Phai were with me telling me to relax, I wouldn't have done what I did. I took all of my grandfather's mail and my mother's mail and tossed it into the oven and closed the door. I flipped the notch, heated it up to the highest the machine would allow. I didn't laugh about it then because I was furious but I can laugh about it now. _

_I never understood why they would try to hurt Phai like that. What did he do to deserve that?_

"What are you doing boy?" the old man stood up with wide eyes and tried to push Alex back but Alex shoved him away. He had the advantage because he was younger and faster.

"Back off. You take my mail, I will take yours."

"You arrogant brat step aside." The man tried with force again. "That is important stuff."

"No! Did you do this? Did mom? Who?" Alex yelled as he possessively clutched the letters in his grip.

"Do what?" The man was shocked at the boy's bad mannered behavior.

"Take all my mail I get and throw it away so I never see it?" The young teens voiced ached with incoming tears.

The man refused to answer and shouted at the boy to step aside but his hands remained pressed at the door of the stove. Alex reared back against it.

"Look! You are not my father. Do not ever tell me what to do again, do you understand me? You and your daughter took my life away!"

"She took it away for good reason young man. You weren't well there. Would you rather be around your inconsiderate father?"

"You are no better!"

_He was no better. I let the letters burn and I stepped aside letting him take care of the large fire that fought its way out of the door while flaming towards the stove. He put it out and opened doors and windows and anything that blew out air, killing the house of smoke. _

_I stood their watching like a sinful child the old man, not knowing if I should feel bad for doing what I did? Or if I should feel accomplished. After all I did it for Phai. I did it for me. I am the king in my dreams and he is mine. He always had been. The words going through my head that night was "Do not fuck with me? I will fuck back."_

_After that incident I remember getting yelled at by both my mother and her dad. They sat me down and rebuked me harshly. She was taken aback. She didn't know that I had such aggressiveness in me and insisted that I have more counseling. My counselor volunteered to bump it up to two days a week instead of one. He asked me all kinds of stupid questions that I didn't answer. It was starting to become a waste of his time and mine. The second important question of the day?_

"_What makes you happy? What do you do for you?" _

_You can't care about happiness when your life is literally blindfolded and you are being forced to walk the plank. That was my answer. _

_The second question was easier to answer. I saved the letters from Phai. That is what I did for me. _

_My mother didn't like my progression as the years went by with my attitude as well as my health. She took me to the doctors often. I was getting meaner, sicker and weaker and I already knew the time was coming. The office she took me to couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I gave them my side effects and my symptoms, everything I was feeling the best that I could but they still couldn't figure it out. My blood tests were completely normal. I was completely composed. The time went by fast, like my death couldn't wait much longer. Unlike the doc who found out what was wrong with me in the first place, these doctors didn't bother scanning my brain. They thought I was fine and sent me on my way. _

_I had replied to Phais' mail and told him to not bother sending me anymore. I couldn't risk them becoming trash again. Before I sent my last one I ended up in the hospital fighting for my life. I wrote everything that I felt about him. I wrote to him about my visions as well as my health problems and that I was soon to die. I poured out everything my heart would allow. It helped me better understand why I was afraid to love him in the first place. It was because I was afraid he wouldn't love me as much if he knew I wasn't going to be on earth much longer. So abandonment. Ha, something I am used to by now. I could take it from my parents but not from him. Never from him. It would break me. _

_Yet the letter was never sent. _

_I was sicker on my sixteenth birthday yet it was the best birthday I had in years. I had five very special birthday gifts. First present I received, I broke up with Barsine. She and I really weren't doing much for each other anyway. I rarely called her, hung out with her and she didn't like it but I knew it would end that way and the simple fact was I didn't love her. We kissed maybe twice in our relationship, clumsy as can be. I was still a virgin and did not mind. And it was obvious she wanted sex from me. She wanted me to be one of those guys who took her, ditched class and fucked her behind the school. I didn't have that passion. She never thought the day would arrive when I told her I didn't want to be with her. I didn't hate her though. We had good moments but not good enough for me. I became ambitious. I wanted more. I wanted someone that I could relate to. I wanted someone that I could share my life with without feeling stupid, someone who would hide my secrets within them. That gift was fifty million miles away. So it felt. _

_The second gift being my therapeutic counselor having to move out of state. My mom thought he was the best and didn't want anyone to replace him. Either way I hate them all the same. I was free. _

_The third being Neolemus finally shutting his goddamn mouth and stop degrading the little things that bother him about me. _

_Now the last two were the best. Forgive me if they aren't actually gifts that I can unwrap. _

_The fourth was destroying death. _

_I finally met the bed dying, my headaches finally kicked in causing me excruciating pain. My visions blurred and I blacked out. Deep blue eyes cried for me. I was in the center of a bloody battle field as my body ruptured with the heat of the hooves as horses and men came at each other both ways fighting over me. They collided, fought and fled. The general got to me first covering me keeping me safe from the enemy. In my case it was Hades. I awakened to the ugly face of my grandfather and the scared to death face of my mother. As much as I hated them, they were beautiful to wake up to. Even though I had tubes down my throat, eyes rimmed red, needles in me for gods know why, I felt wonderful._

_And since I was this Alexander in my dreams, this great King, guess what came next. I became him. I became happier, stronger. I became louder, funnier. I became more outgoing and determined. I was ruthless in school, in wrestling and football. I exceeded everybody in everything accept for dance class. I killed the shy boy I was. It was a long battle between two very different but similar souls. _

_Needless to say I became indestructible. I cheated death I felt. Everything turned brighter in the world. I ridded of all depression. It got to my head. It sounds conceited and prideful, but don't fool yourselves with this tricky smile I have plastered upon my face. Do not think that I have lifted weights so the hot girls down the street could admire me. Do not think that I got stronger because I felt the need to fight the jocks who hate me because they couldn't claim the trophies anymore. Do not think that I ran around the block five times a day because I liked the way the old ladies complimented me and my effort. Don't you dare think that I am doing my best to please my mother? I did this all for him. _

_I was old enough to get a job but I worked just part time because my other time went to my schooling. I spent days wandering the cities and going shopping. I even bought a car. I was so happy. I felt different and less introverted. It was a good feeling. A new one. _

_Finally and lastly, my fifth present, cursed the fate of us all. It was more news than anything. My dad had gotten injured in a car accident. Two cars smashed into his somehow in the intersection on his way to work. He's handicap for now and needs me to go help him around the house. Mean? I know, I know, but I am rewarded. _

_Phai had it right. He once told me we all live forever after death and that death is just a figment of the imagination that everyone will succeed one day. I succeeded. _

_I will be seeing Phai soon. _

* * *

><p>Callista dressed in painting clothes ran outside and through the field to give her brother the news. She started to yell once close enough. "Phai! Alex sent you a letter finally!" She hopped with excitement. She was tempted to read the letter but her good will told her not too even though she thought she deserved it because she had interrupted her own art time just to go look for him.<p>

Phai jerked his head up as he sat in his little boat, his strands of hair twisted as the breeze shuddered the clear sky. He was going to ignore her at first because he didn't believe what he was hearing. Her shouting getting in focus meeting its depth more and more was like seeing the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

The young girl trotted against the deck waving the little envelope high in the air, paint brushes falling out of her multicolored stained apron. "Phai come quick before I open it!"

Phai stopped the progress of whatever he was doing. He looked more horrified than excited to hear the news. Callista had to repeat it again in order for him to react more normally. He refused to sail his way back to the deck so he jumped into the warm pond and swam his way. He climbed up quickly with the help of his sister tugging on him with her little hands.

"Wait!" she shouted, like she had seen a nasty looking bug.

She refused to hand her wet brother the letter. She took the end of her dress and let him dry his hands. He rolled his eyes and kissed her on the cheek chuckling and took the letter from her lose grip and unconsciously walked away in privacy.

"I am such a good sister." She stood proud.

"Whatever." The thought of Alex had been cut deep within his brain. This was almost dreamlike. Tears started to fall like rain.

"What does it say?" Callista asked as she saw her brother withdraw heavily from her company.

"He didn't forget about me." He answers her smiling beautifully.

"Why are you crying?" she asks fearfully. It was unusual to see her brother cry. She couldn't even remember the last time he had shed a tear. "Do I have to go get mom?"

Phai grinned at her question. "Don't get mom. It's because he didn't forget about me." He stated again.

"That's a good thing right?" she questioned instinctively scratching her head. She didn't know how to react to her brother's merge of emotions.

"It's a very good thing sis. I didn't want be here fading. Because I would have let go."

* * *

><p>The general had enjoyed sleeping his anger off as he slept side by side with is king. His head was pressed against Alexander's chest; his burnt brown hair flopped over covering them both while he was holding onto his cold hand for dear life.<p>

It was a cool and bright day outside. He was initially improving, by starting to eat more and take better care of himself, but only leaving the king alone in short time.

Although he refused to speak with the generals, and often cussed out the queen from entering the tent he had enjoyed eating and drinking lots of good wine. He even managed to take walks and breathe in fresh air and not the stony coma his king was undergoing. He was spoiling himself.

Even though his king wasn't feeling better, he was starting too and the generals couldn't figure out why he had changed suddenly. They assumed he was getting sick of being in the king's tent moping all day, which they found wonderful, if only it was the case but it wasn't.

Hephaistion thought it for the better. Alexander wouldn't want him swallowing himself in the depths of pity and sorrow. He had not realized the moments they had spent together were worth remembering instead of dying over. Secretly he knew the king wouldn't take his own advice if it were he to die instead of Alexander. He thought about his own death and how Alexander would have reacted to it. He would either be very, very angry and start going crazy or remain silent until death took him by the hand. Understanding the kings anger tribulations especially when drunk and how clumsy and careless he could be, he would mostly likely injure himself before he had the chance to take out his wrath on the rest of the world.

As the days shifted to the next he had took care of Alexander himself washing him and trying to feed, mouth to mouth letting the pages and servants rest for once. No matter what good hands the king was in he couldn't fight the gods much longer. They must have wanted Alexander for a reason. He thought maybe the gods loved him as much as he did.

Everything was falling into place. He would spend the rest of his days well and stop chasing the dream that he might awake. But it was a lie. It was always a lie. He would never stop chasing the dream that Alexander might have another chance of opening his eyes.

The sleeping general felt a spasm in his tingling fingers. His blue eyes opened briefly. My hand must have fell asleep, he thought. He closed his eyes again and felt the spasms again. He leaned up and managed not to cry while he watched as the king's fingers tightened within his hand which were causing his contractions. His heart started to race. Hephaistion leaned in closer his locks shaping his face. "Alexander?" he whispered hopingly. He saw Alexander's breathing sounding more normal and not so much busy heaving. The sensation triggered the general a smile.

He hurriedly took off out of the bed and rushed to go get Phillip.

After five minutes of running around he found the doctor. They both entered in. The general was like a very amused child, grace and joy flowing upon his facial features as Phillip took another look at Alexander. All Hephaistion heard and all his ears would take was Phillip mentioning that the king's health was improving becoming only vaguely normal. Slightly? Vaguely? Who cared, it didn't leave the general skeptical. It was better than it was. Much better.

"Come on Hephaestus take his hand and put it into the fire. Make him wake up." Hephaistion prayed to the god of forge with tears of joy slipping.

Phillip had left after the good news to go give the rest an update on the king's life. Hephaistion knelt by the bed again watching the steady breathing of his lover. He then took his hand and felt Alexander grip it tighter.

xxxx

**Sorry for the long chapter, I am still not used to writing short ones, so forgive me!**

**Stranger**


	14. Chapter 14

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Thirteen**

/

_Much time spent away, my imagination grew larger, thinking of creative ways on how I was going to present myself to Phai again, seeing as I have been away for awhile and how much I have changed. Thinking of a special reintroduction grated unforgivingly on my nerves for some time._

_I considered myself a special child because of the way I used to be. Corrupted by my dreams. Scared to death of death itself and losing him. Normally I wouldn't let something this small bother me so much but I was thinking and hoping not to fuck it up. It must be perfect. I was certain that I hadn't changed too much where he won't be able to recognize that young shy boy he met in middleschool at the zoo, by our lockers at school or at our mailboxes at home or in the field at the pond. Because if I remember clearly that's who he fell in love with. _

_It was easy for anyone to see how excited I had grown over the days. I was so happy to be going back even to see my father again no matter what damaged he had caused himself and my mother over the years. Life was only starting to get good and I had nothing to worry about accept only if he still lived right next door. _

"How is he?" the handsome blonde teenager asked leaning on his car.

"He is on strong pain medication and it will make him a little tired so I suggest he gets sleep when he gets home." The nurse walked up to the car informing Alex as another male nurse wheeled his father out of the back doors of the hospital.

Both the nurse and Alex watched as his dad was being brought to the car. "It's nice that you would do this for him." She somewhat complimented and flirted with the blonde at the same time.

"It's no problem." He answered indifferently making the nurse blush. He then smirked taking his fathers arm and helping him up from the wheel chair and walking him over to the passenger side of his new car.

The nurse handed him a chart for him to sign, it requiring a signature from the one retrieving the patient from the premises.

Alex signed it scribbling his name after seating his father in the car.

"There ya go miss." He handed her back the chart and putting back on his sunglasses. He reared around the car taking his father's crutches and sliding them into the trunk.

"You two have a good one, Call us if you have any concerns or questions." the male nurse concluded as he left with the woman back through the slide generated doors.

Alex thanked them both considerately then scooted back into the car. He started it up but before driving off he looked over at his father who was staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.

He was unresponsive, almost angry looking but Alex assumed he either wasn't happy to see him or the drugs was working its magic. He didn't want to interrogate him with questions or a lot of talking and decided to keep it simple and quiet.

"Hey dad." Alex said patting his fathers bandaged up hand gently. "Are you feeling better?"

Phillip still refused to respond or even look at him.

"I've missed you too." Alex said smiling and shook his head driving off out of the parkway.

Even though not one word was shared between them even through traffic lunch hour, the ride home was sadly comfortable for him. He smiled all the way through listening to quiet soothing music.

Maybe it was because he was just happy to be back. He truthfully didn't mind being back and having the thoughts of spending most of his time in all probability taking care of him. He did miss his father dearly; it just took him until after he left the state to realize how much he actually did love him.

Though he loved his, mother very much, living with her was completely dreadful and up until his junior year was pretty much uneventful, nothing to look forward too. Sure it wasn't any less different but oddly there he felt non existent. He could look back almost at nothing and that's how unmemorable his time spent there was. Now he was back and could look back on everything his life used to be worth. He could look back on him and think of the things he could have or should have done differently to make things better.

_Which there were tons of ways I could have done differently. Life was a blur, but now my eyes become clearer with more infinite vision. With more reason to live my life all the way through I just about had it with the thought of me dying young. Oh yea, let's make it until I turn old and die of a stroke instead. _

* * *

><p>"Phai," It's the name that rang through Alex's mind as he pulled up into his old neighborhood or what it seemed like. He strolled slowly down the quiet area finding himself smiling boyishly. It was like coming back home after leaving for college and returning to get a massive welcome back from old family. Except it wasn't the welcome he was after.<p>

"Okay dad we're home." He notified parking the car in front of the house that brought him back so many good and bad memories.

Alex turned over at his father whose eyes were closed. He sat for awhile prying upon the indignant man and almost wanted to shed tears for him, even one tear if it made things right again.

He had stayed in the hospital for six weeks until the doctors told him it was alright to let him go. The doctors reported that the accident had been bad, and even though he remained there in their care for that long, hard visual bruises from the calamity still existed among his skin. He also had mild traumatic head injury, a couple of still healing broken ribs and damaged tissue in the right leg causing him to limp, the doctors saying he might have it for the rest of his life. They also mentioned he could be suffering from post traumatic stress and that he is obliged to take some antidepressants but over all he was going to live.

Alex's hand slipped from the steering wheel. He couldn't figure out why he was feeling sorry for him especially after his impression of being a horrible dad and only a horrible dad.

The loud shifting in his mind interrupted his own floaty thoughts and he shook his father by the shoulder carefully causing the sleeping man to open his muddled eyes. "We're home already." The sleepy man asked as if they went just all in the blink of an eye.

"Yea dad." Alex smiled relaxingly at him with his father only returning an awkward glance in return.

"Who are you?" he asked uncertain as if his son needed to show a certified card proving his own identity.

Alex frowned confused. "Your son dad." He answered.

"Oh that's right." Phillip turned away as pain and sorrow crept into his son's expression. "You look different that's all."

"That's kind of expectant after not seeing me for so long dad." Alex stepped out of the car and opened the trunk grabbing the crutches and then supported his dad out the other side. Phillip still being a little stubborn shoved lightly the boy away taking his own walking sticks into his hands.

Alex yanked his sunglasses off his face settling them on top of his blonde head. "Let me help you stubborn bastard." He argued.

"My son wouldn't talk to me that way." Phillip pointed gravely but nonetheless let himself be guided towards the door step. Alex unlocked the door and entered his very missed home. The first thing he noticed, nothing had changed. It was exactly the way he saw it when he left. He kind of wondered how his dad could remain sane in such a large house with no one to talk to or come home too. But he figured his dad didn't really worry about that and probably spent more time over some young girls house anyway aside from the months wasted at the hospital. There was no doubt as the house looked completely unused, and the smell of the famous cigarette smoke was prohibited.

"Okay dad." he situated his father on the couch, making him as comfortable as his pained body would allow him.

Phillip winced holding his bandaged up ribs and Alex stayed by his side. He thought that the pain killers had already kicked in but he was wrong.

His father saw how concerned his son looked; ready to drop everything just to be of use. "This is just the after effects." Phillip let him know. "They just hurt, but they are healing." He sulked grumpily. "I feel a lot better than I did, that's for sure."

Alex watched his dad panting the pain away waiting for it to finally disperse.

"I will go make you some tea." Alex offered willingly knowing his dad enjoyed the substance a lot and headed to the kitchen searching through the cabinet above the right of the refrigerator. Even though he was gone for awhile he still remembered where everything was kept.

He fetched his father some good warm lemon tea and he was happy to see him sigh a breath of relief after taking a sip from his favorite herbs.

They sat in silence for awhile, Alex playing with his own hands tracing the lines on his palm while his father stared at the black TV screen. Phillip adjusted his head to face him. "You don't look like my son. How did you get so big?"

"I grew up dad." The teen answered diligently.

Phillip didn't see his young boy at all and it sort of amazed him. "You've changed a lot."

The boy smiled glad he even noticed. 'For the better I hope." Alex admitted. "I was struggling for a long time dad but now I feel much better."

"Was it that stupid therapist your mom had you seeing that changed you."

Alex clicked his tongue; it was interesting to see his father still pointing out what he thought was good advice. Alex then chuckled and ran his hand through his thickish blonde hair. "No dad." He averted his confident eyes towards his fathers. He didn't tell him about his death experience and had no intention of telling him, for now it was over with and done forever he hoped. "This has nothing to do with therapy. I have just changed. Everyone changes. I'm sure you have." The boy hoped even though thus far he hadn't seen any.

"Some don't change boy. Remember that." His father replied back.

Alex grinned. "Some don't realize they have."

'If your talking about me and your mother, I would like to let you know I still have no feelings for her and I do not regret what happened between us. I've moved on a long time ago." He said trying to be hurtful.

"Was it me that split you two up?" Alex thought he needed to know.

"Don't fret boy, it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with us."

"Do you have another girl in your life? I would like to meet her if you do." Alex eyed him understandingly. It would be nice if his parents did forgive each other but he also knew it was not at all likely.

Phillip turned down the question declining his eyes elsewhere.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to; I just want you to know I accept it now. At first when I saw you with another woman I was sad. I wasn't even mad or angry just mindlessly depressed. I never understood why you couldn't just tell mom, she assumed it anyways. Even I did, it was just hard for me to understand, you know? Maybe I feared that I might become that way. There is just someone I don't wish to hurt."

"When you grow up and all you have is work, sleep and nothing else to look forward to then you will understand perfectly that this world is never as it seems."

* * *

><p>Alex sat in the same room with his father waiting for him to fall asleep. It had been a long day for him, driving from the airport straight to the hospital and back home draining the time away. It was only three o clock in the afternoon and he smiled knowing he couldn't fall asleep no matter how fatigued his eyes were getting. He thought of many times crying himself into exhaustion. Even though he still had his visions, he never questioned death again thinking he had overcome it.<p>

He didn't know where his head was wondering at this time. He felt strangely emotional and words couldn't explain why as he watched his father thinking of what they had talked about.

He watched his dad breathe harshly as if he was struggling to sleep. Alex stood and walked quietly over to him like his father was some mysterious person. He hadn't seen his father in years and it was almost wonderful to look upon him now. He was almost human, with human feelings. They day his father got in the accident was around the day he almost died in the hospital. It would have been a shame to die with a strong dislike towards each other but now everything seemed as settle as the day before his parents started to detest against each other.

Everything seemed to fit inside a large puzzle and the world was working out as it planned. Everything was in its rightful place and he swept everything away that had brought his life on its knees.

"Alex?"

The teenaged boy stopped his intent staring hearing his name croak from his father's mouth as his eyes still rested.

"Yea dad." He answered tenderly.

"I'm sorry you have to be here watching my old ass." The old man spoke softly.

Alex formed a large smile. There was a good chance the medicine was talking for him as he seemed to be a bit in a laze but never in his life would he have heard that before come from him. "I'm not sorry. I am glad I am here." The boy answered truthfully. "Just because we never had good moments doesn't mean you are not my dad."

Phillip just smirked and said no more as the pills kicked in again and darkness consumed him.

Alex sighed quietly. As always the house was quiet and he took care of him for another hour or so before his assistance was finally proved worthless, his father snoring noisily and he went outside to his car and started unpacking his own belongings. Within the hours of his fathers nap he found time to take a shower, change his clothes and even make some food for himself getting the familiar feeling back in use.

The day was bright and contrasty yet it lacked something of everyday life. It felt like a surrealistic time zone at how unusual the world around him seemed to reside in stillness. He officially moved back in and the man of his dreams house was officially still in existence. Now all he had to do was go over and touch him again.

He stopped by the front door with the last two large duffel bags in his hands when he saw a dodge truck pull up into his neighbor's driveway. His face lit up in excitement hoping Phai would leap out but instead it was an older man who he did not recognize. His hair was brown and short, he was a very tall man with a sturdy posture and his face was full of cheer.

His indifferent eyes inspected as the man entered the house. He didn't want to believe that someone had moved in already and Phai wasn't living there anymore.

He finished unpacking everything back into his old room and didn't want to wake his dad and ask him, so he hurried out of the front door heading over to his friends house taking his chances, remaining hopeful.

He rung on the door bell realizing he wasn't at all nervous but more excited to see him again as well as his family.

He waited only a short while hearing a silent scuffle behind the door and the door finally opened.

The handsome man who he saw enter the house smiled at him. "Hi what can I do for you?"

"My name is Alex a friend of Phais. Is he around?" Alex replied alluringly.

"I hope so." The man answered good-humoredly. "I haven't kicked him out yet."

Alex smirked. "Is he here?"

"Nah, he's at school. I am his father by the way." The older man extended out his arm and they both shook hands firmly.

"So where do you know him from?" the father now asked with interest with his brown deep eyes.

Alex shifted his head towards his house. "Just next door. I went to middle school with him."

"Who is at the door honey?" a smiling voice interrupted.

Alex brightened up when he saw Phais mother come to the door. Nothing changed about her.

"It's one of Phais friends. I thought he didn't have any." Assumed the dad talking towards his wife.

Amyntor felt his body jolt to the side as his wife pushed passed him and hugging the blonde teen tightly. "Oh my god Alex." She greeted insufferably as she kissed the boy on the cheek. "My god you grew so handsome. Come in."

She invited him into the house and reintroducing him to her husband who was trying to fit into the conversation between the mother and boy finding the young mans presence interesting. Needless to say it wasn't common for Phai to have any visitors other than Tolem.

"I knew you had moved but I didn't realize you were coming back so soon." The unexpected visit came as a surprise to her.

Alex only smiled unhappily. "Yea neither did I."

"So what are you back for, visiting?" she questioned while placing a glass of water in front of him. He gladly took it thanking her.

"Actually I had to pick up my dad from the hospital today and bring him back home. I'm here to stay and take care of him until he can finally do things himself. He thinks he can but he can't." The teen answered desolately.

"Oh yea I heard about that. We were all worried sick. Is he better now?" the mother asked concerned.

"Oh yea, he's doing better." Alex nodded smiling thankfully.

"Good, good." She responded gratefully. She looked upon the boy admiring how much he had changed and grown. "You better not show yourself to Callista Alex, she already thought you were cute to begin with."

A grin raised upon his lips pleased with the compliment. "So how's little Callista?" he asked missing her wild company.

"Still extremely passionate. She and Phai miss you a lot."

Alex blushed at the flattering remark. "When will they be home?" he asked.

'Probably not for awhile. Phai has a football game of the season tonight after school, and then I guess there is going to be a huge party after. You know what you should go see him play. We can't go tonight because this is the second week my husband has been home and we were planning on going out just the two of us and Callista is at her friends house spending the night. But he would love it if you go see him play."

'Uh, yea, sure I will go see him." Exhilaration inching into his features.

"Great!" she hyped in joy. She then told him everything he needed to know, aswell as the time the game started.

They chatted more and then Alex said his goodbyes pleased to have finally met Phais dad. He rushed back into his house, the game starting in the next hour or so and woke up his father. "Hey dad," he leaned in close so that his father could hear him so he wouldn't have to be loud. "I'm going out tonight. If you need anything just call me and I will come okay. I won't be gone long."

The father snorted in bitterness. "Stop babying me already and go. It's not like I need you here if I want to take a leak."

Alex smiled sadly. "I still love you, you know. You can be angry all you want old man."

The plain words illustrated an emotion Phillip was neither fond of nor familiar with. "Whatever boy." He tried forcing himself asleep even though the words and his sons sad eyes still lingered with him.

He missed the opportunity of holding his soft hands as a child, cradling him with his strong arms, playing with him and then placing him to bed in the crib. He hadn't done any of that and left it to the nurse or his mother. Now as much as he missed that chance he couldn't think of doing it anymore now that his boy had grown up shining in radiating beauty. Basically they were both men and should keep their feelings to themselves no matter the thoughts of wanting to hug him for doing this even though he could have made the decision not too and stay back with his mother. Phillip just sighed and scurried on back to sleep.

Alex upped and left the room and then the house closing the door silently behind him. He looked towards his car and back at the keys in his hand.

"I found you." He alleged softly thinking of Phai.


	15. Chapter 15

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Fourteen**

/

Alex drove in less than a hurry to the game taking place at Apollo high school. He somewhat wanted to savor the feeling of seeing him again. He also didn't want to be in too much of a hurry then be disappointed incase something was to turn out wrong. He would just play it natural and not let his fan boy excitement come into play, even though he was excited as shit to see him once more as well as all of his friends he had missed overtime.

The brief memories of him and Phai had him smiling again until his phone vibrated inside his pant pocket. He picked it up and sighed deeply when he saw that his mother was calling. He didn't know whether to answer or not, seeing as she would be on for days talking about things he didn't want to hear or care about. He didn't want to be rude but he already had his time with her and now it was his time to himself. He didn't want to be bothered by anything and as far as he was concerned happy moods don't last forever.

"Hello mom." He answered keeping his eyes on the road as well as admiring the beautiful cities from the freeway. He remembered the sight and smell all too clear and so far his first day being back was going just fine.

"Yes I made it home safe mom….Yes dad is fine too but he's been better. Maybe you could call him up someday and talk to him." He spoke to her as she threw at him many questions.

The blonde's indifferent eyes averted towards the sun as it was soon falling to dusk creating brilliant colors throughout the dim clouded sky.

"I will tell him you asked about him…Okay mom, I have to be somewhere. I will call you back soon okay."

He hung up the phone after saying goodbye and turned up his music in the car enjoying the smooth ride.

/

_**Alexander?**_

_**Yes Phai.**_

_**We are friends right, and we tell each other everything right? **_

_**Yes of course. Well I hope so. What's on your mind?**_

_**Since we have known each other for so long, do you ever think of me differently? Let's say do you ever get sick of me? After all we see each other constantly. **_

_**Sometimes I send you on missions Phai and we don't see each other for a long time. During those times I yearn for you. **_

_**But you don't get tired of seeing me everyday?**_

_**How can I get sick of you? You are everything to me.**_

_**I knew you would say that.**_

_**But it is no lie Phaistion. I swear it. I have not once got sick of you and if I ever do, as a king and lover I do not deserve you as a companion or mate. **_

_**Okay let's change the game. Even if we were separated against our wills and when we meet up again let's say I looked different and I wasn't as beautiful as I once was. Let's say I cut my hair or I had one eye like your father. Would you look upon me differently then?**_

_**Differently yes, but the same always. **_

_**How do you mean?**_

_**You have been Phai to me ever since we were kids and look at you now; you've grown into something of unimaginable beauty. Your personality makes me laugh and smile and I do not know what I would do without you let alone it. If your looks ever change I will only be more inspired to love you more like I have after all these years. You constantly change to me Phai and it is not a bad thing. You still see me the same after all these battle scars I get from my clumsiness and recklessness do you not?**_

_**I do.**_

_**There is your answer. **_

_**\**_

* * *

><p>"Are you ready for tonight Phai!" Tolem expressed enthusiastically as he and Phai walked down the corridor of the school towards the locker room where they were all supposed to meet up for their football meeting.<p>

"Sure Tols!" said Phai who felt he had more important things to be excited about at the moment. He could be doing homework, swimming, even sleeping. It was noticeable to all he wasn't as excited as the other team players.

Tolem looked at him with a gloom expression. "You don't sound too excited. Tell me what's up!"

"Well look who is in charge then get back to me." Phai responded in a sinister way. He gripped his duffel bag tighter into his hand as he found it slipping off his shoulder.

Tolem almost choked a laugh. "Don't worry about Cassy." He already knew whom he was talking about. It wasn't just him and the boys who had noticed the tension between Cassy and Phai, the teachers and principal noticed as well. "He's a good leader." Though the curled haired teen admitted.

The brunette boy rolled his eyes. He had to admit it himself. Cassy was a good leader but he was missing something every leader had, team playing and good charisma. But then again it was just with him that he purposely lacked it. "Yea he degrades me every chance he gets. One day I am going to beat the crap out of him." Phai confessed with a wicked smile upon his beautiful face.

Tolem laughed again squinting his brown eyes. "Something tells me you don't have it in you." He joked mildly nudging his friend gently.

Phai looked to him with a glint in his blue orbs. "What are you saying? That you don't expect someone like me to beat the shit out of someone?"

"Yea sort of, it just I always see you as the peace maker you know, not one to get into fights or even think of fighting. You know like someone who doesn't put up with confrontation." Tolem tried his best to describe his friend of years. And it did pretty much sum Phai up. He knew how much he tried to stay away from any existing conflict.

Phai smiled. "Is that a compliment?"

"Only if you want it to be." The frizzy haired boy smiled like a dork back.

"Well thank you Tolem but if Cassy pushes me enough I just might hurt him."

"I kind of can't wait to see that." Tolem expressed surely. Even though as honest as he can be he pictured Phai ending up the loser. But then again he was only aware of Cassy's temper. Just by looking at Phai one would have a hard time reading if he even owned a temper or not. He was basically unimpressionable about everything unless it really mattered to him.

But he understood where Phai was coming from and knew only partly the reason why he couldn't stand Cassy.

Phai hadn't told anyone but there were obviously more reasons why he despised him other than Cassy going out of his way humiliating him all the time in front of the other peers. After the night he had climbed into his window Cassy had been trying desperately to sleep with him still even though he had told him many times no. He finally gave up and joined Roxanne and others with the rumors because he was butt hurt. But this time needless to say Cassy became mouthier and more open with his feelings.

Phai and Tolem walked in silence for awhile just listening to the loud teens in the narrow halls talking about things teenagers do. Sex, cars, and that's it.

Meanwhile Roxanne and her friends were laughing loudly and coming down the hall towards Phai and Tolem already dressed in their cheerleading outfits for the big game.

Phai rolled his eyes when Roxanne walked by him giggling with her other cheerleader friends and whispering things into their ears.

"I hope someone drops you on your face when you cheer tonight." Phai said aloud but didn't realize it until he saw Roxanne and her friends stop and glare at him but he and Tolem continued to walk, Phai smiling pleased with himself. He normally had nothing to say to her but there were just those times when people asked for it. He honestly didn't care about a lot of things anymore with the situation with Cassy, Roxanne and even the rumors being spread and he didn't know why. He lived his life just like any one would. Basic and redundant. Maybe he thought his life was somewhat incomplete.

"Hey do you miss Alex?" Tolem asked as he tossed a football he was carrying into the air and catching it.

Phai stopped in his steps and smirked. "Why is it that whenever I am thinking about him, people speak up and ask me that?"

Tolem stopped and looked at him with an apologetic look to his face as he twirled the ball in his hands. "Sorry I didn't know you still thought of him."

"I told you he wrote back to me." Phai reinforced.

"Yea but you never told me what he said. All you said was that he was doing fine." Tolem responded with a durable expression causing the blue eyed boy only to smirk.

"What's the smirk for? Is their something you're not telling me?"

Phai decided to keep walking before any feeling jumped out confessing his own desire for Alex. His eyes weren't the best at holding secrets to begin with. "No reason."

Tolem watched him suspiciously walk into the boy's room when they finally reached the lockers. He already had begun to suspect something between him and Alex. Phai always acted differently around him smiling with a blush or even just becoming more talkative and happier. He grinned walking behind him already thinking he had the answer to that question.

* * *

><p>"Gather around me!" Cassy voiced aloud loving every moment he had being incharge as he walked into the locker room where the boys were gearing up.<p>

He shoved his way passed Phai and the brunette boy looked towards Tolem biting his tongue asking for answer to kill him. Tolem only eyed him calmly.

"Just a few years ago, our team was the best in the cities quarter, with production earning us many scholarships. Let's keep it that way." Cassy expressed eagerly. He sat on one of the benches as the team surrounded him. "We are going up against the best team this year. There school district is Genesis High school. They are said to be one of the best so let's prove them wrong!"

The locker room sounded with loud roars. Cassy smiled proudly. "Now let's do an attendance." He removed a pen from behind his ear. "We need all players amongst us even if some prove themselves less than others." He glanced over at Phai with an unkindly spark.

Crater and the rest of his buddies started chuckling as they proceeded to do what ever they were doing at their lockers.

Phai stood folding his arms glaring at him and Cassy took it as a face up to. "What are you looking at pretty boy? Did I say something that offended you?"

Phai chortled irately but he just decided to ignore the bully and move back to his locker. He desperately felt like telling him to get over himself.

"Thought so." Cassy laughed quietly and continued with the roll call marking off names of all who was present and luckily every member were present.

"Alright everybody we have less than an hour until the game starts, so decide what you do in between thenbut be back here on time and stay within the area."

Everyone after the announcement spread like one large flock heading out to kill time until the game started while people coming to watch the event were already gathering and situating themselves at the large field claiming their seats.

Tolem passed by Phai who was just sitting on one of the benches staring off at his locker that was hanging wide open. Tolem waved a hand in front of his face. "Hey Phai aren't you heading out. We can go get something to eat while we wait."

"I'm not hungry Tolem. I will just stay here until time passes by." Phai responded bleakly and Tolem frowned, the sudden strange behavior of his friend appearing out of nowhere not to his liking.

"Uh okay I guess. I will see you on the field." Tolem waited for a minute longer still getting no expression out of Phai as he continued with blue eyes at the open locker.

The frizzy haired teen finally left him in the locker alone. Phai blinked a couple of times not understanding his actual feelings. He didn't know if it was Cassy who was getting to him or just the thought that Alex wasn't around permanently anymore.

It was a shame really, that he had ignored Alex at the very beginning, when he first moved in the house and when he first recognized him at school thinking he was just a weird boy who lacked any sort of self respect. He remembered when he first actually noticed him was when the blonde boy had almost ran into the door of the detention office because his eyes were only on him as they were walking by each other. But even then he was good at not letting Alex know that he even discovered that embarrassing moment let alone notice him at all.

Poor Alex must have felt like a complete idiot and loner Phai thought to him self. Even though he was respected a lot by his own friends something just seemed missing in him. Like life.

Many thoughts had him look at the time on the far end of the locker room wall above the entrance door. He must have been sitting their thinking for awhile because it was now time. He heard all the boys charge in loud and lively ready for the game of their dreams.

He sighed and shut his locker door closed.

* * *

><p>Screams were coming from everywhere. Uprising by Muse exploded throughout the school stadium. Shouts from the coaches were active as the people cheered for the Apollo's. The cheerleaders were off to the side urging the crowd on with simple catchy cheers and routines.<p>

Cassy smirked taking in all the excitement the people sent in waves. Banners were held up for there team and he shouted raising a arm in pure fame as a banner held by a bunch of school girls read "Cassy rocks!"

Even though there team was getting all the attention the guest team after all the rumors heard about how good they were, got just as much cheers from there home town.

Roxanne and Thais watched as the opposing cheerleaders came flipping out and cheering in pure acrobatic form rooting for their own team. They were obviously better cheerleaders than them and Roxanne encouraged her team more in heated jealousy.

Thais only rolled her eyes at Roxanne and looked to spot out Tolem on the field.

"Let the game begin!" the announcer voiced entertainingly.

The game started and all teams formed into positions after a quick inspirational group huddle. The defenses had Crater and Phil as safeties. Phai was the middle linebacker and Leon and Perdicas were both the outside line backers. Cleitus and Cassy had the tackle positions while Nearchus and Tolem were the corner backs. Since they began with no possession of the ball it was their job to prevent the opposing team from making any scores. This is what they topped at anyway, defense, so Cassy had no doubt they would win.

Once the whistle blew the opposing team started out desperate to win. The one in the center position passed the ball under his spread legs to the quarter back positioned behind him. He immediately signaled the next call and the team went all out.

Alex parked his car and stepped out hearing the force of the teams clashing against the other. He made his way up to the bleachers watching from the back because surprisingly every seat was filled as if this was an actual professional foot ball game. He smiled when he saw a banner held high listing all of his old friend's names.

He saw the score, and both teams were tied.

Perdicas hurried and ran lining up against the offenses tight end ready to pass and embark upon the running back. Leon had the weak side linebacker so he was in charge of defending an open field. He was also one of the fastest runners on the team and quickest with stealth that's why Cassy granted him the line backer position.

Phai being the middle linebacker had to correctly identify the other team's formations and give adjustments the defense team must make. It came easy for him because it was something he was always good at.

They were starting to win leaving the other team six points behind their trail. Cleitus and Cassy showed no mercy tackling at any given chance.

The game went on for awhile until it was time to switch out.

The first entity of Cassy's team sat out taking a break while more went in to cover them.

Tolem and Phai sat roughly, aching in pain. They looked over and noticed the other team glaring at them and sharing secret hateful glances to each other.

"They look pissed." Said Tolem always noticing everything.

"They can get pissed all they want. This is our game." Cassy replied conceitedly, re fixing his helmet as it was their turn to get back onto the field.

Phai shook his wet and damp hair ignoring the team who were looking fiercely at them. Tolem sighed. "You think we are going to win this?" he asked to Phai.

Phai honestly didn't care who would win or lose. But he smirked anyway. "We already have."

Tired and sweaty they all ran back onto the field getting lazily but briskly back in positions. "Keep the defensives high!" Cassy declared.

The sight not pleasing enough for Alex he decided to break and enter through the back where the team had exited onto the field from the locker room. There were signs that prevented entry but he simply ignored it. Also there was no one back there to stop him; the security not doing there jobs well enough. He stood there the rest of the game. Or half way through.

_I saw everything perfectly where I was at. I saw him perfectly where I was at. The closer I felt the more my heart wanted to jump from my beating chest. The more lonely tears wanted to flow from my eyes. My mind must have been in a long trance because I didn't see how the fight between the two teams started as I blinked from the long daze. I saw Tolem on the ground and a man atop of him trying to pound at him with a violent fist. Then I saw Phai, angry and fuming as ever grabbing the man off of Tolem and tossing him aside. I smiled never seeing him like that. An angry Phai was a different Phai but a Phai I will cherish forever. _

_This was the moment I had been waiting for my whole entire life, is just touching him like I had five thousand years ago. Loving him like I had the day I laid eyes on the god of beauty. I remember just seeing him angry and shouting at the other boy and then forcing him to the ground and beating him while the other members joined in and clashed at each other the same way they came at each other when the game had began. Cassy and Cleitus being the first to interact with the lead members of the other team, followed by the rest, all being taken to the ground like animals fighting then dropping dead. _

_I couldn't help but walk onto the field being possessed at the beautiful angry demon with blue eyes turning dark, white teeth turning sharp, hair waving in the wind as he tosses his helmet furiously to the side. He was much bigger in muscle and much taller. He had grown so much. Man I was obsessing. With any information I can retain I remember mindlessly shoving the man trying to brawl with him away and taking Phai into my arms and hugging him as tight as I could. Phai already heated in the moment tried shoving me away thinking I was just another part of the interference but for some odd reason my arms wouldn't let him go. He was always the better wrestler but I was the better hugger. I took him to the ground and laid over him, my legs pinning him to the grassy flat field. _

_He didn't know how to react at first not even recognizing me until I smiled at him and until he saw the joyful tears in my two colored eyes. _

"_Hello Phai." I said his name like it was the most beautiful name to exist on the planet. _

_The anger in him gradually faded into something even the wisest of men couldn't comprehend. He was as confused as the day I left him. As fragile as the day he found me in the lake. As warm as the day he kissed me on the cheek that one bold night. _

"_I can't believe this." Were his exact words to me? I take a look at the scandal around us as we lay on the ground no one noticing us. I looked back at him. _

"_Neither can I."_

**_xxxxxxxxxxxx_**

**_Here's another chap for you guys. Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews. You have no idea how much it inspires me! ~Stranger :D_**


	16. Chapter 16

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**/**

"It may seem not real to you but I am here." Alex said placing his hand over his blue eyes and started laughing when Phai pushed his hand away stubbornly.

_Half of him looked afraid to see me._ _It was obvious Phai was in shock and it was obvious I was in love. I discovered as I watched him that I would do anything for him. _

"Please don't look at me like that." Alex smiled reassuringly.

"But, how?" Phai blinked to clear the eye sight that remained before him.

"Sometimes things happen for the best." Alex spoke mischievously.

Phai leaned up with knitted brows when the blonde lifted his body from him and they sat their on the field, the brunette viewing the blonde madly like he had been betrayed. "But I thought, you weren't coming back!" he stuttered not sure whether he was excited or angry.

"That's what I thought too." Alex said slowly as if his brain couldn't process enough information to keep a human to function.

"Whoa." The brunette replied unsurely, a little frown creasing in his beautiful face.

"Why look so sad to see me? You're supposed to be happy." Alex teased glaring into him with his indifferent eyes.

The brunette abruptly spoke but answered shyly. "I am happy but I am surprised as well."

It wasn't everyday that the one he had been missing so much flew out of mid air and into his lap. Alex reached over and lifted his chin so that they were facing each other. He then kissed his lips gently but quickly and pulled back smiling. He didn't have to worry about someone seeing nor did he care anymore. How much longer could they keep their feelings for each other a secret? Not long.

"Oh my god it is you!" Suddenly Phai wrapped around him tightly into a hug forcing his back against the grass. Alex cuddled him back trying to stifle his laughter at the sudden excitement.

"Is this romantic enough for you?" Alex thought he might ask. "After all I had been going over and over in my head just how to replenish our first encounter after so long." The blonde had admitted way too seriously for Phai and had the brunette blurt out in cheerful laughter and then drew back.

"Get off me!" Tolem yelled while being crushed between the ground and two other guys.

Phai and Alex turned to see the young group still scrambled about the field arguing and throwing fists. It must have been entertaining to watch because even the crowd were shouting aloud and picking fights. A whistle blew and two coaches came running out to stop the fight. "Everybody cut it out. This is an automatic disqualification!" One coach registered loudly breaking everyone up but was interrupted by a wild yelp from Tolem who spun up from the ground and eyed Alex sitting with Phai off to the side. The boy's already frizzy hair was messy after being stumbled upon and stood with his jaw dropped.

Both Alex and Phai stared at him numbly like they had been caught doing something they shouldn't have.

"Holy shit!" The frizzy haired teen yelled his beaming smile growing wildly. "It's Alex!" He announced to the world.

Phai glanced at Alex sweetly. "If they weren't here it would have been more romantic."

"Shame on me."

Phai and Alex's conversation was cut short when Tolem leaped to the blonde taking him down. "Tolem that is too much loving!" Alex playfully rolled around with his friend.

Tolem hurriedly called all the others over who were recovering from the fight. "Guys look who it is!"

Alex waved stupidly at his other friends who staggered over their thinking they were going to see some famous actor and stood there with disbelief instead. "Howdy guys. How ya doin?"

All went into a happy frenzy except Cassy who seemed more shocked than even Phai had been.

The friends attacked Alex with hugs and manly kisses for a bit and then Alex stopped playing realizing Cassy was being a sour puss. "Hi Cassy." The blonde smiled calmly at the dirtier blonde.

"Hi Alex." Cassy responded trying to keep his cool even though he missed Alex himself but decided that vibrating in place wasn't a good idea especially for his reputation.

"Why are you just standing there ruining a beautiful moment between friends?" Alex winked and Cassy tried to hide away his growing smirk.

"It's good to see you Alex." The prideful teen finally drew near to him and they embraced clapping each other on the back but when Cassy spotted Phai he grinned at him stealthily and Phai stepped aside reserving himself glaring with a hint of nuisance.

Cassy finally pushed back from the friendly hug and wrapped his arm around the blondes shoulders leading him off the tournament grounds. "It's time to celebrate. Let's go get something to eat. I'm hungry!"

They did just that. They all gathered inside ready for the dinner but mostly the desert they had sprawled amongst the table. It was the after party even though either team didn't deserve it after the fight but all still remained after getting congratulations on the start of a good game. They took any compliment they could get. They all prepared their plates with food and took their seats at a table.

Cassy sat at the far end getting a good look at Alex and how much he had changed. He didn't want to admit, he was looking good and he somehow felt threatened with this new Alex especially now that he seemed more outspoken than usual. The green eyed teen had a red cup of punch in his hand while he watched the blonde laugh with the others sending a vibe of his charm he never once had as a kid. Even the girls were stopping to stare at him and he was back to getting all the attention.

Cassy leaned up closer to the table after having enough of watching the laughing group of friends. "So Alex how was it without us?" The bully asked after taking a sip from his cup interrupting the little meeting.

"Horrible." Alex answered with a huff. "I cried every night. I'm talking hours of lonely tears then I would fall asleep and start all over again the next day."

Cassy laughed. "I see you are much livelier now. What exactly did happen over there that changed you so much? Did you get laid?"

Phai looked over to Cassy who was now giving him a frisky smile. The brunette rolled his eyes and began looking back at his food.

"Why do you want to know, you finally get laid too?" Alex responded.

The green eyes squinted with sneakiness. "I get all the girls Alex." Cassy reminded. "You know that."

"That you do." Alex agreed with a smile that was slightly challenging.

It seemed like a friendly argument but everyone could still sense a tension between the two. Alex threw a small smile over to Phai and then went back to hearing the stories of his friends as they spoke over each other at one table annoying the rest of the people at the party. Crater spoke about banging chicks in detention; Cleitus spoke about selling weed to half the kids in school while Leonnatus spoke about his crush with Phai's sister.

"I can't understand you all when you're babbling to me all at once. This is what I understood, Crater is still an asshole, Phil is still an asshole and Leon still has a crush on Phais sister?" Alex went down the line of everything he managed to hear from the over dominating voices.

"Yep that's about right." Crater nodded proudly along with Phil.

Alex felt someone hug him from behind and kiss him on the cheek. He already knew it was Roxanne by the scent of her perfume she always wore because she didn't like to try anything new. She had hurried to change into her normal clothes ditching the cheerleader outfit and hurried out there with Thais to go and greet him after they heard the news that he was there.

"Alex I am so glad you're back!" She practically shrieked then took a seat next to him that she had told everyone to reserve for her.

"Hi Roxanne."

Roxanne flipped her dark black hair out of her face and then under the table stole Alex's hand and held it.

Alex and Phai shared another quick glance before Leon and Perdicas interrupted. "So Alex we heard about your incident back with your mother."

Alex was plucking his fork with his free hand mindlessly in his green salad and shot a look up to the two. "What incident?" he asked not having a memory of any incident.

"Well we heard something about you going to the hospital and that your heart actually stopped."

Alex suddenly shifted in his seat looking frail and cleared his throat. "No nothing like that happened." He lied.

"What happened?" the others meddled in and Alex from the corner of his eye saw Phai looking not to happy with questioning eyes. He didn't know how they ended up with the news, but he knew his mother had a big mouth and probably spread the news to their mothers.

"It was nothing, not that bad. I just went in because I was sick."

"That's not what we heard. We heard you actually died then came back." Perdicas replied.

Suddenly Alex wanted to kill them all for mentioning something he especially didn't want mentioned in front of Phai. "I will be right back." He excused himself from the table and immediately Roxanne clung to his arm and dragged him out the glass doors away from the party.

"It looks like they just might get it on!" Crater high-fived Phil laughing at there own vulgarity.

Distracted Phai was caught watching Alex and Roxanne leave outside before he heard Cassy obnoxiously scoot his chair inches from the table. "Yes they just might." Cassy said and stood and walked over to Phai taking an empty seat next to him. "So Phai how are you, you're a bit quiet tonight."

The brunette cleared his throat "I'm fine Cassy. I couldn't be better."

"You did well at the game." He gave Phai a crooked grin.

"Cassy I see what you are doing," Phai sighed with a completely annoyed expression.

"Are you worried about Roxanne and Alex…you know liking each other?"

"He doesn't like her like that."

"How do you know?" Cassy questioned. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I do." Phai's tone betrayed his answer and Cassy slipped away from the table nodding his head convinced.

Phai turned back towards Alex and Roxanne taking a walk together outside.

* * *

><p>The old group of friends had called it a day, shared missed hugs and laughs and split apart for the night. Phai and Alex waited until everyone cleared out from the parking lot so that they remained together alone.<p>

"Uh, so you need a ride back?" Alex turned to Phai as he spun his cars keys around his index finger. The boy swayed smiling sleekly and right then and there Alex already knew the answer.

"Sure." Phai responded now averting his eyes to the ground.

Alex opened the door for him smiling at him with his charming eyes and Phai blushing made his way into the car.

"This was a good day don't you think Phai?" Alex asked him as he drove home.

"Yea." Phai answered keeping his eyes only on Alex. "So what happened at the hospital?"

Alex bit his tongue holding back to answer. "Nothing, I was just sick with a cold."

"Alex you suck at lying but I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. You look great."

"As do you."

After they pulled up into the sleeping neighborhood Alex parked in front of his house and sat in the car in anxious silence. Phai also stewed in the silence waiting for Alex's next move. It was weird Alex thought because they actually spoke on the way their but now they felt more needed to be said but they couldn't find the words.

"Here you are." Alex quietly said patting Phai's leg giving him a hint of a deeper affection. "Come I will walk you to your door." The blonde eased opened the car door.

Phai smirked at the blonde's choice of words, as if they were arriving home from a really good date. It might aswell have been. Phai stepped out of the car and shut the door closed and the two began to walk closely side by side towards the house. Taking a breathe Alex nervously scratched the back of his head before beginning to talk and stopping Phai from taking another step onto his porch. "Uh, Phai I am sorry about everything."

"Like what?" The browned haired boy stopped before him and turned looking a little confused.

"You know just the whole letter thing."

Phai's blue eyes grew in contentment. "It's no big deal and its not your fault."

The blonde's eyes narrowed the closer they got to the front door until they actually reached it and Phai wrapped his hand firmly around the knob but never opening it.

The fact was he didn't want Alex to go. They had just pretty much seen each other again and most of the time Alex was being hogged by Roxanne anyway.

"But Phai I'm also sorry about leaving you. I should have never left."

A miniature chuckle came from the brunette. "That wasn't your decision."

"But it could have been." The blonde answered back sadly. "I could have done something but I was too weak."

"Alex no one at that age is above their parents. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to but look now, you're here and I'm glad. I'm completely satisfied now." The brunette spoke sincerely.

Alex smirked childishly. "Are you really?"

Phai elbowed him smiling lazily. "Of course Alex." The boy spoke smoothly and didn't realize he was swaying on his feet distracting himself from the indifferent eyes stalking into his nervous ones.

"I've missed you so much Phai." Alex stepped closer towards him letting his mind take control. He was so disconcerted he didn't notice that he was less than an inch away from him when their lips touched desperately. They kissed for awhile until Alex finally stepped back grinning sheepishly. "I guess I will see you tomorrow." The blonde licked his lips in anticipation. "Goodnight Phai." Alex hugged him.

"Goodnight Alex." Phai replied. They stared at each other for awhile like they were puzzles they couldn't figure out until Alex turned away from the unreadable expression and walked slowly towards his house.

Phai frowned and stood at his door purposely not entering his home hoping Alex would stop and say something else. After all it was only a short encounter and a small kiss. He didn't have the patience to wait until the sun hit the next morning.

Alex stopped in the middle of his lawn sensing that Phai hadn't entered his home. Wait. What am I doing he thought to himself. He left Phai once and here he was leaving him again. "Stupid Alex." Alex shook his head but mainly disappointed at himself. He then laughed at his own stupidity.

"Wait Phai!" He ran back over to the house where Phai was pretending to struggle with the door and violently and desperately kissed him like he had been starving for him for years.

_I didn't know that I was going to do that but somehow it felt right. Like it was the right thing to do. Like maybe what he waited for all his life or maybe just what he wanted. What we both truly wanted. _

Phai must have not known he was going to do that because after a while he returned the favor and kissed him back with so much heavy energy breathing 'finally' into his mouth. "Could I really truly love you?" The brunette asked once they broke for air.

Alex nodded genuinely. "I think so." He took his hands and wrapped it around Phai's lean figure and kissed him more.

Phai giggled against his mouth sending a vibration against his lips and sprinted off down the stairs teasing him with mysterious blue eyes. "Let's go."

Alex stood befuddled. "What, Where?"

Phai smiled sexily and then took off towards the direction of the field. Alex stood there dumbly with many questions running through his head and no any given answers. But he wasn't as anxious for the answers as much as he was for hm. He then ran after Phai in the night until he caught up with him and captured him with more kisses.

_We ran out to the field, we played, we spun around until we became dizzy and couldn't walk anymore and then we collapsed to the ground not giving a damn about the world while we rolled around in wildlife getting twigs and dead grass stuck in our hair and then we stopped and looked into each others eyes and we made a vow. He would be mine, forever. We made out sweetly, and I have to admit a little desperately as well but what did you expect after so long. I Thought so. I struggled to figure out if his lips and tongue were real or pretend. Just from his touch, it was almost like a fake world was being built around us, where anything was possible and we could do anything imaginable. All my fantasies and dreams were met._

_I won't cry though. Not yet._

Phai brought Alex to the shed that was surprisingly still there and told him that Tolem had fixed it up, cleaning it out turning it into a hang out place.

"We hang out here all the time." Phai explained. "We have couches and a TV but it doesn't work yet, Tolem is still trying to fix the outlets. We are also bringing a refrigerator in."

Alex nodded looking around impressed as his hands played within his small jacket pockets. "This is pretty cool." Alex announced. "I remember when this was just a shithole."

Phai started moving around the small shed which was as big as a normal sized room watching Alex with love in his eyes. "Also we have a radio, if you want to listen to music."

Alex laughed at Phai sounding like a servant then looked down at the blankets sprawled onto the floor between the couch and TV stand. He arched a brow in animation. "What are these blankets for?"

Phai blushed. "Uh, sometimes Tolem and Thais like to come here and sleep."

"Oh what do you do in here?"

The brunette shrugged. "Just sit and sleep sometimes. I like it out here to read. I don't have Callista bothering me all the time."

"Oh yea how is Callista?" Alex was making his way generally closer to Phai with suspiciousness in his strong features.

Phai frowned seeing him approaching him with a sly sparkle in his eyes and lips. "What are you up to?" Phai asked as instinct told him that Alex was up to no good.

Alex reached him and kissed him again but this time there was more lust than love and somewhere in between. Phai grew suddenly curious and moved his hand up against Alex's jeans towards his crotch and starting to feel him up. Alex gasped sensationally and only began to kiss him harder fighting with his tongue over dominance, letting him touch the thickness and length of it through his pants.

After more heavy kisses, Alex started to feel Phai's hand run up his stomach from under his shirt, his nails gliding up his back. The blonde allowed it and even helped him out by lifting the useless shirt up and over his head. Phai stared at his muscular body for awhile before taking the shirt from Alex's hand and tossing it aside. Phai bit his lip innocently but precariously and Alex took him and crashed his mouth against his own before guiding the brunette gently to the floor of the shed laying him possessively on the ineptly but inviting blankets. Phai wiggled his body comfortably and situated himself accordingly while Alex lay in between him while they shared more wet kisses.

"I think I'm ready."

Alex clenched his jaw thinking that Phai must have read his mind. "Ready for what?"

"You know." Phai whispered hiding behind Alex's broad shoulder embarrassed.

Alex got the hint after seeing his face flushing red. "Oh…you're ready for sex?" he pretended to be naïve about wanting it too.

"Uhuh" Phai nodded cautiously trying to read the blonde's expression.

Alex bent his head as he looked anywhere but at him. "Uh, well I'm kind of new to this Phai, I don't know really what I am doing and I don't want to hurt you."

It took guts to admit it but Phai snickered at both of them being embarrassed about it. He knew this was Alex's first time too. "Let's start it slow. But if you don't want to do it now we don't have to, I just want you to know that I'm ready. For you." He said, meaning it.

"No I am ready." Alex said with a hasty control of his own fussiness. Phai only nodded and braced himself hesitantly. He gently guided Alex up having him stand so that he may reach him easily. Alex watched as Phai efficiently unzipped his pants. He then chuckled seeing Phai take control of the situation as he slid the blonde's pants and boxers down passed his thighs exposing his beautiful cock. Phai looked amazed staring at it as if he was delighted by a trick but Alex had no shame. A cock was a cock. They all looked weird.

Noticing they had no preparation, and seeing each other only this naked was completely undecided, Phai looked up to Alex's piercing gaze. "May I?"

Alex only smiled and nodded lightly. Phai positioned himself on his hands and knees and guided by Alex's hands he took his exposed cock it into his mouth. The blonde raked his fingers through the brunette's thick hair and held on tight to bundles as Phai glided his wet tongue over the head of his cock. For someone new to this he had to admit it felt good but then again he never had someone on their knees sucking his dick before so what would he know. He never felt at ones mercy before and never felt at such a disadvantage. Maybe he should have asked Cleitus for some input or even Cassy and Crater seeing as how they were the pimps of the group. Maybe he should have asked his dad for advice seeing as he was always out banging younger chicks.

The pleasure was becoming too much even though Phai was a bit clumsy but he wiggled his tongue in swirls causing Alex to throw his head back wording for more.

Alex's cock automatically became demanding and he held tighter the back of Phai's head and the brunette started to grant him his wish by opening his mouth to receive him. Phai clasped at the back of Alex's thighs once Alex had stopped driving his hips forward only wanting to get more familiar with it but Alex was afraid of gagging him. He definitely didn't want to do that there first time.

Phai looked up again smirking with satisfaction as his teeth caught his cock and then pulled back. They took it slower after that, just touching and getting to know their bodies more and ofcourse kissing, there was always kissing.

Feeling the wetness from Phai's mouth still all over his cock Alex knew what was coming next, the thing that had his heart jumping uncontrollably, afraid of what he might do or even just afraid of the outcome. He watched deeply and entranced as Phai undressed himself completely exposing a well built figure no doubt due to all the sports he was apart of, and scooted his clothing aside. Phai took Alex's hand and lay back down on the blankets. Alex's soft chest scraped over Phai's tense body sliding up in-between him until he reached his lips and kissed him gently.

"Okay" Alex took a deep sigh. "Are you ready?"

Phai nodded in compliance and readied himself by clinging on tightly to Alex's strong forearms as his hands took him at the waist. His eyes followed the blondes every moment not because he was evaluating how good he was but because he wanted to watch the thrill of it all. Alex leaned in closer to Phais smooth chest and scooted tighter in between his legs causing Phai to spread them. Phai couldn't believe that this was actually happening and by the look of it Alex couldn't believe it either.

Phai looked amused when Alex took his hands and pulled them above his head and crossed fingers with his tightly.

"Are you nervous?' Alex asked Phai through soft words almost like he was nervous himself. Neither of them really knew what they were doing and it was scary.

"Yea, but I think I will make it." Phai had to admit. His father had given him a sex talk at the age of ten when he had told him that it starts uncomfortable at first but then starts to feel better along the way but first you have to get used to it. He remembered him comparing it to the dentist but his dad was probably doing drugs then because it was nothing like the dentist because no one ever gets used to the dentist.

Phai gritted his teeth and arched after feeling the pressure of Alex's cock move up against his entrance.

Alex started kissing at his neck to soothe his body and relax his tensed muscles and sooner than later Phai had. "Did I hurt you?" Alex asked worried.

Phai shook his head and embraced his shoulders tighter and Alex assumed he was ready for more. Taking a deep silent breathe Alex pressed closer their already moist chests together and began to compress his sex into the tight hole. "Push me away if I hurt you okay?"

Phai nodded and held him tighter desperately wanting to feel him inside but to frightened about what it might feel like.

He moaned and shut his eyes when he felt the slick organ push inside him. Alex searched for his hands and took them. Alex felt Phais legs squeeze at his sides. There was a tingling sensation within his own groin after Alex slid more into him stretching him until they met at a good stopping point and until Phai caught his breathe.

"Well we made it this far." Alex said frantically giggling like an idiot.

Phai sighed in pleasure as Alex's lower tummy bumped up against his aching cock but his pleasure was shortly replaced with a deeper feeling after he felt a hand grip it and start stroking it sending him in a stir.

"That feels good." The brunette moaned with his eyes still closed hidden away in sexual bliss. Alex gave Phai a fair warning before pushing deeper into him until his whole cock entered him with much effort as Phai was badly tensed.

"More." Phai recovered in small breathes and started to urge Alex on after pitching his hips up in desperation. Alex hesitantly began to rock sliding his shaft inside him more and he immediately heard Phai suck in a breath and it scared him to the point of stopping.

"I'm sorry." Phai apologized trying to control the clenching of his hole around the thick organ sliding inside of him. "Keep going.'

Alex ran his hand up his mates chest holding him still and began to thrust his hips getting more comfortable with the rhythm of it. He couldn't tell if the beautiful boy beneath him was groaning because it was excruciating or because he completely enjoyed it. Either way he didn't get slapped yet or pushed away so his hopes stayed positive.

Phai's cock pulsed in his hand and Alex smiled feeling the boy becoming completely relaxed under him. He ran his strong fingers over his now leaking cock and his frame shivered as his body rocked against the rough blankets.

But it wasn't until Phai almost screamed in loud pleasure that Alex knew he had hit the right spot and his own dick began to painfully increase in the confinements of Phai's inner walls. He thrusted again hitting the sensitive spot over and over sending the hopeless teen into a woozy lustful whimper and later the shed was emanated with waves of their grousing, radiating from every part of their naked and sweaty bodies. Alex only pulled harder on his dick and Phai only pushed down on his seeking to stretch his flesh more. Them both being possessed by the god of lust Alex felt the hard dick release it's cum leaving the wetness over his hand and over his belly while he came undone inside the tight channels. They came fast and Alex collapsed onto Phai both breathing in there own private convulsion.

Alex removed his worked up body afraid of crushing him, and flopped on his back beside him. "Well that wasn't too bad, I don't think." He spoke breathlessly. "It felt good but it was a little weird. Did I hurt you at all. Be honest. Did we really just do it in a shed?" he could have sworn he was talking to himself until he heard Phai speak up.

"No one has to know." Phai recommended during a long yawn and cuddled himself into Alex closing his unfocused eyes and sighing as the night air came through the window cooling their heated bodies down.

The two lay naked not botheirng with their clothes while Alex stared above at the ceiling of the old shed. "Have we gone too far?" asked the blonde out of nowhere.

"No. It's what I wanted. For so long." Phai's eyes were already shut as Alex turned and bore into him. "It was such a surprise seeing you again." he finished before letting his eyes slip into deep sleep.

"I'm glad to be with you again." Alex leaned over and softly kissed Phai before covering him with the rest of the covers, then sat up against the shed wall and stayed awake the whole night watching his new lover sleep. He figured why sleep when he could stay awake and watch him forever.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Not too good with sex scenes but hey whatev, I tried! Again thank you for the reviews and Troilus sorry for keeping you waiting long :(<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**/**

/

_**Alexander do you wish to talk about it? I'm always here for you I hope you know. **_

_Remorseful blue eyes never part from his incensed friend. _

_The new king's eyes flash back with loss as he turns to his lover at the entry of his palace room. _

_**Hephaistion**_…_The king miserably bows his head_…_**my father is dead.**_

_Hephaistion can only give him little comfort by holding his friend tight. __**I am sorry it had to happen this way. Tell me what you need from me?**_

_**Do you believe my mother had something to do with it? Did she kill him Hephaistion? **__Alexander buries his head in his friends shoulder seeking comfort but his friend doesn't respond and he pulls away. _

_They both stare into the other until the brunette looks elsewhere away from sad unforgiving eyes. Alexander moves slightly from Hephaistion deciding if he wanted to sit or stand as well as awaiting an answer he knew he wasn't going to hear. _

_**You should rest Alexander, I will return later. **__Hephaistion turns to leave but he is stopped. _

_**I don't wish you to go. I have you all to myself which hasn't happened for awhile. **__The vulnerable king muses.__** I have been tending much to my duties. I never meant to abandon you. Please stay with me. If you will.**_

_The brunette only smiles and comes up to his king's side and whispers in his ear. __**You haven't been neglecting me Alexander, don't think that. You must do what you have to do. **_

_A terrible sigh escapes the king's throat and frustrated he shuts his eyes.__** And become king? Never have I felt this scared before. Why am I so scared? **_

_The sincere brunette strokes his friends soft face and removes the salty tears.__** It's natural to feel this way Alexander, but you are strong and will overcome it like you always do. **_

_Alexander opens his watery eyes and laughs half willingly.__** Why do you always make me feel like this Hephaistion, like I can do anything? Sometimes I think you are just being nice to me even when I don't deserve it. **_

_The brunette cups his face and stares into him deeply. __**You deserve everything from me. **_

_Alexander smiles back with love. _

_**Are you in need of sleep? **__The brunette asks him. _

_**No. **__The king shakes his head pride fully.__** I just need you.**_

_**Then let us sleep. **__Hephaistion guides gently Alexander towards the bed.__** You look awfully tired and overwhelmed; please get some rest, my wonderful prince and king**_.

_**Okay Phai. I will sleep, for you**_.

_Hephaistion watches his heartbroken king slowly drift off in heavy slumber. _

**\**

Alex watched fixedly with an absorbing stare as his new lover slept. Phai was wrapped in a bundle of blankets and for a boy who was only a young man; he was as handsome as any grown man would want to be. He smiled as he reflected more on his general and friend. "So it's true, you and I are supposed to be together." The blonde spoke lightly like he was keeping it a secret to himself. 'But why am I having difficulties in telling you what I want to say. I've known you for so long and it's amazing, yet you're still my perfect stranger."

It was an awkward place to fall asleep in just as much as it was an awkward place to talk to himself. He honestly couldn't think of many who dreamt of doing it in an abandoned shed placed in a meadow just minutes away from there neighborhood. But even if it wasn't exactly how he considered it, it didn't have him regretting anything that had happened that night. He wanted the brunette for so long, and now that his death didn't seem like a burden anymore, here he was with his Phai, this supposed general, just like he had dreamt of. Now all he had to worry about was maintaining him forever.

It was six in the morning and the sun was just rising behind the horizon causing the sky to turn a contrast pinkish blue color and always like a good California morning the air was warm.

Phai was never much of a heavy sleeper. He could awaken in the middle of anything and at the moment he awoken to the feel of the light coming through the open windows and loose cracks of the shed as well as sensing that someone wasn't sleeping.

The brunette peeked open a sleepy eye catching his new lover watching him curiously and Alex only smiled brashly after he had been caught. "Alex, you should get some rest, you look awfully tired." The browned haired teen murmured into the blanket.

No doubt escaped the blondes mind that this was indeed his general.

"For some reason, I remember you saying that to me before." Alex scooted closer to the brunette. "Did you sleep okay?'

Phai nodded and snickered adoringly. "Did you?"

"Yea." Alex answered bogusly.

"Good." Phai said and Alex swore he could see a slight blush appear onto Phai's flawless face. The brunette then narrowed his eyes almost in a shy manner.

Alex couldn't resist any more and felt his body towering over Phai's, while the brunette took him gently by the shoulders and reached up to give him a good morning kiss.

"It's Saturday and your sister will be home soon won't she?" Alex mentioned while placing small kisses down his lovers neck.

The brunette smirked lightly. "Are you scared that Callista might come out here looking for me and catch us both naked. Is that why you are awake so early?" he teased.

"I haven't been awake that long." Alex looked under the covers realizing he had forgotten they were both still very humanly naked. "I'm not scared, but I think Callista might be if she does she us like this."

The brunette chuckled surprised at his openness and lifted his body from the blankets. "Fine you baby, fetch me my clothes." He ordered, yawning and bringing his hands to rub his face awake.

The two boys got dressed and left the field back to their homes. Alex walked with Phai in silence up to his house. "So I guess this is goodbye again." Alex frowned playfully, shoving his hands deep into his pant pockets.

Phai grinned and said a quick "I'll see you later" before silently slipping behind the front door into his house and then the blonde headed towards his own.

Alex necessarily didn't have to sneak in because it wasn't like his father gave a rats ass anyway but was surprised nonetheless when he walked by the living room towards the stairs and his father asked him where he was. He wasn't expecting his father to be up this early seeing as he was prescribed with sleeping meds but then again who could sleep through the pain he was going through.

He wasn't just talking about physical pain from the accident but emotional and mental pain as well. His father was obviously depressed and not at all in his right mind. He was going to be out of work for awhile, he was bored most of the time and Alex could already see his future of drinking himself into oblivion. Also the split between him and his wife wasn't all that painless either no matter how much his dad wouldn't admit it.

Alex stood quiet at first and just shrugged at the question making his way into the room where his dad was. Then he sat down on the couch across from where he was laying. "I was out on a walk, with a friend."

The blushing and sudden delight in his son's expression didn't go unnoticed. In fact it became discerning to his father. "It's almost six thirty. Isn't that a little early to be out with a friend? She must be very special." Phillip assumed.

Alex normally fidgeted with his hands or scratched the back of his head frantically if he was nervous about something but this time he sat composed and unruffled not being able to stop his smiles from growing wider. "You have no idea."

It wasn't something he never saw so often in his son, perhaps not at all but for once he actually noticed his son happy and in love dare he think it. "I hope it's not that Roxanne chick." Phillip sat up and swinging carefully his messed up leg off the couch and stretching his muscles.

"Believe me, it isn't Roxanne. It's never been her." The last part Alex whispered quietly.

"What time did you get in last night?" Phillip asked not really concerned but feeling like he needed to keep up a conversation before it got uncomfortable with to much silence.

He still had to get used to the fact that he never really had a normal conversation with his kid.

"I didn't, I slept outside in the shed." Alex thought he could be truthful about it.

"Kids these days, always try to be independent. I should have made you a damn tree house when you were younger."

The blonde's eyebrows shot up in mock. "You? Build something for me? Get out of dodge."

Phillip was caught off guard by his reaction. "Are you being sarcastic with me child? I built you plenty of things when you were younger." He answered in his own defense.

"Oh yea, like what?" Alex challenged.

"I don't know your crib." The dad shrugged carelessly while bringing a smoke to his mouth.

Alex laughed shaking his head. "I'm fine anyway. I got everything I need." Alex said optimistically before standing and stretching himself.

"No one has everything they need." The old man grumbled under his breath as he tried to find a committable position to sit before his back started to knot up and his body beginning to cramp.

"There's only one thing in life people need and that is someone to care for and to share their life with. You had something but you let it go. I have something now and I will never let it go and whatever you say or do will not interfere."

"You should have been a fucking poet."

"It's not like I would have had your support anyway."

Phillip sighed in regret. "You're a smart boy Alex but we all know we can't hang onto something for so long. Things happen, life interferes and next thing you know everything swings in the wrong direction, but we don't know if it is wrong or just fate doing its job."

"I am living two lives already dad. One in my dreams and one right now. But I have the chance to learn before anybody, I am gifted with the opportunity to change things before they go wrong. People fall on bad days but I will hang on as long as it takes."

The teen abruptly cleared his throat once his dad stared awkwardly at him like he was on a very strong drug. "Sometimes I don't even know what you are talking about son."

The blonde took in a deep calming breath and then changed the subject as fast as he could. "I'll make you breakfast since you're up already. Also remember today while it's still cool outside we go for our thirty minute walk around the block."

Phillip only snarled and reached for the remote to turn on the TV. "Whatever."

"You want to feel better don't you? Besides the sooner we get it done the better before the sun really sets high."

Alex only heard the mumbling from a grumpy man and took it as a yes but before exiting he watched his dad engage in smoke and TV. He then smiled sadly. "When everything gets better, you are going to tell yourself that it didn't feel so bad."

He didn't realize he was telling mostly himself.

xxxxxx

Phai was sprawled on top of his bed and turned to face the window thinking of everything that had happened as of late and everything Cassy had told him about Alex and Roxanne had gradually slipped from his mind.

The dark skinned girl was one of the reasons why he stayed away from Alex his whole childhood, thinking he was already taken by her and thinking he would be ignored by him. But now his life was exactly where he wanted it to be. Roxanne was becoming less of a threat to him but he was still ashamed of his own jealousy towards her.

If I wasn't in your life would Roxanne be the one you decide to love? Phai had been asking himself that question more often than not. There was a lot to be jealous of her about. She had everything going for her life. She already knew what she wanted to do for a living. She wanted to be a dancer, she was rich, she was smart, strong mannered and beautiful and he had no doubt she would be very successful further on down the road. Now he thought of his own life and where he would end up but his thoughts only lazed around.

His mind suddenly shifted elsewhere and couldn't believe how much Alex had changed and it had him smiling inexplicably. It wasn't something he could get over in a day or even a week but he finally had him. Now all he needed was Cassy to get off his back and Roxanne to get a life and go find someone else. As long as those two were around, there would be enough trouble for both him and Alex.

Within minutes of his own time he was still thinking about last night. His eyes became unperturbed in a day dream and he was staring at his bedroom ceiling.

He was in deep love with him.

Further thoughts were interrupted when he heard his wild sister enter his room and all he wanted to understand was why she was home so early, unless he had been in a daydream for over two hours and it was already eight o clock in the morning. "It can't be" the boy covered his face mumbling after looking at the clock and how fast the time flew by.

"Phai!"

He turned over to his side and flipped on his radio and the Foo Fighters song My Hero blasted on.

Callista plopped onto his bed next to him turning on her back mimicking his same position and ranted about how great the sleep over was. "It was super cool."

"I'm glad you had fun little sis."

Phai caught himself off guard when he responded earnestly.

"How was your night yesterday, did you win the game?' she asked bobbing her head to the music.

"Uh, we were going to." Her brother said almost embarrassed to mention it.

"So you lost the game?"

"No, just disqualified."

Callista gave him an odd look. "Disqualified? She questioned. "I expected more from you young man." She reprimanded.

"Sorry, next time I will do better." He gave a sweet smile.

"Good. I have to show off my cool brother somehow to my friends."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"My friends don't talk to me unless I have something cool to talk about. I guess gory video games and vampires aren't as cool as who can apply the most makeup."

"Callista they are not friends if they expect something more from you. Okay?"

"Okay." She approved. They bumped fists. "Who should I hang out with then? I don't have friends like you do." She moaned.

"Well you can hang out with me and my friends anytime you want. Besides your favorite Barbie organizer is back."

xxxxxxxxx

Phai rushed downstairs after smelling the breakfast being cooked in the kitchen.

"Holy crap I'm hungry."

He almost wanted to ask his parents if having sex made people hungry afterwards but felt it would reveal too much, plus Callista still had virgin ears and who at the very second was also entering the kitchen behind him.

"Why are you so hungry Phai? I would think you would be full after the dinner party yesterday." His mother answered. "By the way how did the game go?"

"It went…well." Phai replied with delay.

"They got disqualified." Callista budged deciding to let it out there.

"Aw, how did that happen?" both parents said at the same time.

"Um, a fight broke loose." Phai answered innocently.

The mother put her hands on her hips. "And who started?"

"The other team."

"Yep that's what they all say." Amyntor expressed after ruffling his sons hair after passing by him.

"I hope you didn't join in Phai." The mother said with a wise approach. .

"No I didn't, I kinda just stayed away." He lied perfectly.

"Well isn't Cassy the head of the team. That boy is always looking for trouble. Sometimes I worry about the friends you hang out with."

"They are actually Alex's friends more than mine."

"I can't believe Alex is back. Can I go say hi?" Callista asked her mother who was flipping through a cook book looking for an interesting recipe to cook up for dinner.

"Sure sweetie but maybe wait a little longer. He might not be up this early." She said kissing her on top of her head.

'Trust me he's up." Phai responded out of the blue while taking a seat next to his dad.

Amyntor looked at him accusingly. "How do you know?" His father asked with a goofy smile.

"Because he's a vampire. We've been over this." Callista responded surely.

"What she said." Phai answered back.

"He seems to be popular in this household. What did I miss when I was at war?" Amyntor said while fumbling with an outdated newspaper.

"Phai and Alex are like really good friends dad." Callista mentioned.

"Great I'm glad you have a friend Phai." His father replied with sarcasm and the boy only rolled his eyes paying attention to the food in front of him.

"We told Alex you had a game and to go watch you play Phai. Did he show up?" the mother asked her son who was getting close to his second helping of already large buttermilk pancakes and a tall glass of orange juice.

"Yea, it was umm… a surprise." Phai had an overly happy look on his face.

"What I have met of him so far, he seems like a pretty decent kid, a little weird but decent." Said Amyntor drinking his coffee. It was always in his father's nature to observe and audit who his friends were.

"Oh, you've met him already?" Phai asked almost timidly.

"Yes. Why is that bad?" his father now looked upon him with suspicion towards his son's behavior.

"No reason." Phai was quick to answer and could see his father smirking behind his cup like he had already figured it out.

"Son you seem to be in a really good mood today? Care to share why?"

Phai shot his head up and his eyes were wide with fault. "No reason!"

"It's because Alex is back dad." Callista confirmed. "Duh. Where have you been lately?" She exited the kitchen with a plate of food and ran it up to her room leaving her brother speechless and desperately trying to hold in all signs that he was in love with his friend and in front of his parents was even harder.

"Ah, I see." Amyntor gave his son a cheesy grin before exiting the kitchen himself and patting his son on the shoulder.

"Mom what does he see?" Phai asked nervously with his mouth half full as if the food was too difficult to chew.

"I dunno. Your dad is just being weird like he always is. Doing nothing in the middle of a war will do that to you." She replied. "Ignore him."

"Right." The brunette stood from the table clearing his empty plate to the sink and headed back towards the stairs.

"Wait Phai!" his mother called him back.

"What mom?"

"Tolem called earlier and wanted to go over with you and the rest of your buddies the welcome back party for Alex."

"Thanks mom, I will call him back."

"Okay and chew your food please, don't want you to choke on it!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cassy only kept his eyes on Phai as Tolem discussed out loud a proper welcome back party for Alex.

"We should have it at my place. My house is the biggest." Roxanne replied arrogantly.

Phai glared at her knowing what she was hinting at. Phai's family was wealthy but his house wasn't the biggest of the group and she saw that as poor. Infact she saw it as dirt poor.

"That's a good idea Roxanne." Tolem nodded while the dark haired girl smiled pompously.

Thais sighed dreadfully like she had seen a same move five times in the same day. "But we always go to your house Roxanne when we have parties. Besides I am over there twenty four seven watching you do your hair."

"We should do something more exciting. I agree." Leon said and Roxanne gave them both a mean glare.

The teens were hanging around the deck of the little pond after Tolem had gathered them.

"I say we rent out a place." Suggested Crater. "You know like a party room at a recreation center."

Phil agreed almost instantly. "Yea we can have a swimming party and see hot girls in bathing suits walk around. Good idea."

"This isn't a birthday party or a party to satisfy your own needs. This is a welcome back party for Alex." Tolem answered back.

"Are you saying that Alex wouldn't want to see hot girls in swimsuits? Where's the logic?" Cleitus intruded and plopped down onto the deck.

"I think Alex would enjoy a more private party. Besides that costs too much money." Phai answered responding to the recreation center idea.

"Well, well! The pretty boy finally speaks. What do you suggest then?" Crater responded defensively.

"Maybe we should take him out to a nice restaurant?' Thais said.

"Now that's boring." Roxanne responded hastily and the tomboyish girl shrugged it off.

"How about we have the party take place at your house Phai." Cassy interrupted. "I mean it's only convenient for the rest of us. Right next door, your mom loves Alex, not to mention you are really, really good friends with him." The snobby teen emphasized.

Phai shifted foot to foot in an uncomfortable posture but said nothing in return to Cassy only redirecting his eyes to the ground.

"That's another great idea!" Tolem announced excitedly. "Phai, it's brilliant!"

"Yea, I'm not so sure about it guys. Maybe we should just stick with Roxanne's house." Phai seemed unconvinced that it was a good plan.

"Why, what's the problem Phai, are your parents worried we will bring alcohol inside. Don't worry, we will sneak it in." Cleitus assured putting a tall piece of hay grass in his mouth to chew on.

"That has nothing to do with it Cleitus." Phai said while they all heard Leon randomly ask if Callista was going to be there but was ignored.

"Then what Phai, surely there has to be a valid reason as to why we can't do it at your place." The sharp green eyed boy smirked. He knew Phai didn't want him in his house concerned of what he might try to do.

"Speaking of the devil." Perdicas said. The group of friends turned to see Alex approaching them and it wasn't a surprise to any to see that Roxanne was the first up and over to him.

"Alex might as well keep a leash with him all times." Phil joked with Crater.

Phai looked over to Alex and back away leaning against the wooden barrier attached to the deck and suddenly felt like the outsider, not like he had ever been the insider. "We should just have the party out here then. I can distract him at my place while you guys set up."

The boys stopped and looked up at Phai like he should have suggested that in the first place.

"Now were talking." Leon uttered.

"Now that's excellent. A night party out here?" Tolem nudged Phai coming up by his side.

"Yea, he will like that." Phai replied solidly instinctively tugging on his own shirt.

"Not bad." Cassy sneered and Phai immidietely faced him for a long while with an unidentified expression but in his eyes articulated all the hate in the world.

"Okay guys here he comes, so don't mention it." Tolem advised and leaped over towards his girlfriend who was lying lazily on the ground.

"What are you guys doing?" The blonde had an amused smile on his face once approaching.

"Just talking and hanging." Roxanne said clinging to his arm and walking with him over to the deck where the rest were trying hard to act like they weren't hiding anything.

Cassy looked fascinated at the blonde and then back at Phai. He never had such a challenge until now.

"So what do you guys normally do on a lazy weekend?" Alex asked. "I just got done taking my dad for a walk. We should do something."

They all fell silent like it was the hardest question to answer. "Urm… shopping." Tolem replied a little on the slow side hinting to the rest that they still needed to go get Alex a present. "Yea, we shop all the time on Saturdays even if we don't necessarily bye anything."

Alex chortled. Tolem was still his same nerdy friend. "Sure sounds fun. Window shopping is a good touch."

"Great let's go!" Tolem rushed everybody and they all started heading out towards their homes to go get their parent's money.

Alex looked over at Phai who seemed despondent compared to the rest. "Hey Phai are you coming." Alex called over and when Phai turned to see him he smiled.

"Yea, I will be right there."

The blonde made sure the rest were a good distance from them before coming up to him.

Phai felt Alex slip behind him and his warm arms wrap around his waist twisting up his thin shirt. "I won't let them bother you. Come."

"How do you know what's bothering me?" Phai asked derisively trying to act like nothing was actually troubling him. "How can I be bothered when I had such a good night?"

"Because I know you and I know them." Alex was talking in the further sense of his visions.

Alex's lips curved up against his neck and kissed right under his ear lovingly and Phai smiled lightly while shutting his eyes. "What is this I feel?" the brunette asked meekly.

"I dunno, maybe love."

"Do you want to come over later tonight?"

"I don't think your dad likes me."

"He just thinks you're weird."

Alex smiled giving him his best playboy model voice. "Do you think I'm weird?"

Phai snickered and answered honestly. "Yea, you can be. Actually you always were."

"Okay then, it's a date at your house."

"You two coming?" they heard the sharp voice of Cassy.

"Come on Alex!" Roxanne yelled.

Alex and Phai parted quickly and of course saw the two people who were going to make their lives a living hell waiting for them.

They jogged up catching up with the rest and while Roxanne snatched Alex away Cassy walked by Phai's side. "So are you embarrassed to know me Phai."

The question came out of nowhere and Phai frowned in annoyance. "What are you talking about this time Cassy?"

"I have a feeling you are trying to keep from Alex our time in your bedroom."

"There's no reason to mention it because nothing happened."

"You're a liar."

Phai stopped. "Excuse me."

Cassy glared at him. "You are a liar." He defined plainly.

"So you still think I have feelings for you?"

Cassy came in close contact with him and his eyes stirred from where Alex and Roxanne were and back. "You know you're not as beautiful as you think you are."

Phai folded his arms gaining little patience. "Cassy I have no feelings for you, I never have."

Cassy grimaced evilly. "Patience is a virtue."

_Cassy. Let me tell you something about Cassy. He's as sneaky as a mouse and quick at making moves. He lacks any sort of social skills and any amount of feelings towards anyone, and if he does indeed have any, he hides them very well. He's eager to express himself, very honest in his opinion of you and very jealous of me, for many reasons. But no reasons is as recognizable as the one he has for Phai. _

_I still don't know if he was ever in actual emotional love with Phai. He's admitted to his good looks and possibly possessed by his beauty but what it comes down to is that Cassy wanted to finally feel how it was to be me. In simplicity, Phai loved me and not him. _

_Cassy once told me that I had everything in life, so why couldn't I just give up Phai. He told me that I had no heart in me, that I was this invulnerable selfish person towards his feelings and that Phai deserved much better. In the small term better he meant himself. He told me that before he had no reason to think that of me when I was a shy kid until I became a man. _

_As much trouble as he has caused he's been my friend and general for as long as I can remember. We've had our arguments and fights but the one though I can never forgive even if the gods willed me too, is her. Roxanne. The Dark Queen. For what she does. _

Alex glanced over at Cassy having what seemed like a very preoccupied discussion with Phai and saw the quick glint Cassy sent him. His body tensed up greatly like a breaking force which even had Roxanne detect and back away from him.

"Are you okay Alex?" she asked with concern as she saw the piercing stab in his eyes but he was quick to overcome it.

"Yea I'm fine." Before she could say another word he was already far ahead of her. She turned to see the cause of his sudden angst and felt a strong fury burrying in her soul.


	18. Chapter 18

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**/**

_Everyone already knows how pleasing Phai is to the eye. Everyone knows he's one of a kind, one who can stop traffic with just a smile. Everybody knows my feelings towards him. Maybe not as a lover but as a friend. I expected that because it's impossible to hide it. It's impossible to realize how much I care about him even to me. _

_Nobody knows that Phai and I made love just less than twenty four hours ago. No one has ever known what I really wanted. No one knows what I wanted most... besides him. What I want most is what Cassy wants most and he knows it. As a prince, king and man I only had one weakness. _

Alex kept an eye on Cassy who was noticeably following Phai around through out the mall while the others were off in secret shopping for the party. He hid behind racks and stayed cautiously behind just observing but trying not to look like a stalker. He had some security guards already looking at him weird.

_It was an unfortunate issue, especially for Cassy. He wished to gain what I already had, but what I was torn between was, if he was in love with him, or in love with his looks. Either way I wouldn't accept Cassy in love with Phai and I wouldn't accept Cassy in love with Phai's looks. So I wasn't torn between anything. I was just torn. _

Phai turned to see Cassy walking close by and glared at him. "What are you doing?" It wasn't the nicest of responses.

"Looking for something for our little Alex." The boy smirked in return picking up an object from one of the counters in a shop. Cassy put the item down. "You?"

Phai frowned. "The same."

"And are you finding anything?"

"No." They both turned and saw Alex far enough so that he couldn't hear them but near enough to know that he was watching. "Cassy stop trying to ruin this." Phai spoke quietly but instructively.

"Ah so you admit you two have something going on?" Cassy moved closer to the browned haired boy making him purposely uncomfortable.

"Why are you worked up about this? Why does it bother you so much?"

"It doesn't, I don't care." It was far from the truth but Cassy was good at making it sound believable.

"Then leave me alone if you don't care." Phai strongly directed.

Cassy chuckled and left seeing Alex coming there way.

"Hey Phai." Alex watched Cassy go off and then turned back to Phai.

"Hi Alex." Phai blushed mostly because of the way Alex was smiling but also hoping he wasn't coming to question him about anyone in particular.

"What are you buying?" Alex asked.

Phai shook his head. "Uh, I don't know yet, I'm just looking." He dropped his head playing with his fingers.

"What's wrong? You seem nervous."

"I'm not." Phai thinly smiled. "Come let's go look around." He snatched up Alex and they went walking. Tolem had texted Phai telling him to keep Alex as far from possible so Phai dragged the blonde towards the food court where they could sit and talk. Just them away from Roxanne and Cassy.

They bought two large boxes of Chinese food and sat eating. This should give Tolem and the others plenty of time Phai thought. "So Alex are you going to finish your schooling here, then?"

"Yea I already got my credits transferred."

"Which school?"

"Yours." The blonde smirked looking at his food.

The answer was simple and Phai cleared his throat before he ended up flushing more. "When you graduate from high school what do you want to be when you get to the bigger world?"

"Errm, I don't know yet. I haven't thought about it. What about you?"

"I haven't thought much about my future either." Phai confessed head bent down eyes focused on his hands in his lap.

"From what I know of you, you will make a great teacher." Alex said.

The browned haired boy grinned. "And from what I know of you, you will be a great cop."

Alex laughed. "A cop? What do you see that has you believe I would make a great cop?"

"Your confidence and you make everyone around you happy with your presence."

Alex smiled sticking his fork in his food.

"What makes you think I would be a great teacher?" Phai continued curiously.

"Because you love to learn yourself, you like to write and read. You are intelligent and you like to help out other people. It's one thing you are good at. And you understand everything about everyone; it's your strong point but a weak point to everyone else."

Phai stared amazed. He couldn't figure out how Alex knew all that about him. "How do you know that?" he could have sworn Alex just read the future, or past.

"Because I remember."

They were interrupted before they spoke more seriously about life and themselves.

"Hey guys, we're done shopping?" Tolem said with a wide smile on his face while carrying two large bags of things.

Alex sat back. "Why are those bags so full? I thought you guys had no money."

"Remember we took our parents money." Roxanne said dragging another large bag.

"My god how much did you guys spend?" Alex was shocked.

"Uh about a hundred." Tolem answered even though it was closer to two hundred.

"With all those bags and only a hundred backs, that's good savings." Alex smirked. "What did you guys get at Party City?"

Roxanne looked down at the bag that had the big logo on it. "Oh, crap, ummm..."

"We grabbed the wrong bag." Answered Leon saving the moment.

* * *

><p>Alex went home to check up on his dad and this gave Phai time to tell his parents about the surprise party. "Mom and Dad you can't let Alex know, but he's coming over now."<p>

"Why?"

"I have to distract him over here because we are setting up a party out in the fields for his welcome back."

"Aw, how sweet." The mother replied.

"A party so soon. Why are we being notified now?" Amyntor asked while watching a foot ball game in the other room.

"Who cares dad? This is important that everything goes as planned."

"Who did you guys invite to this?"

"Alex's friends." Phai answered like he asked a stupid question. He moved passed his dad making sure the pillows on the couch were neat, and then he picked up all of Callista's homework books, and babies and tossed them inside a box scooting it at the end of the stairs. "Callista take your stuff upstairs!"

"So am I invited?" Amyntor joked, knowing his son took him seriously every time.

Phai stopped rushing and cleaning around the house and looked dully at his dad. "Why would you be invited? We didn't invite any parents."

"Phai that's rude, be nice to your father." His mother voiced.

Amyntor shut off the TV. "Well who is going to be your adult supervision, you guys aren't going to go out there with drugs and alcohol are you?"

"Of course not, were not old enough." Phai remarked.

"Everyone is old enough to drink; it depends on how mature enough you are to handle it."

"Dad I don't want to get into the adult talk. If you wanna come then come."

Phai saw his dad pick up the house phone then dialed a number.

"Who you calling?" he asked.

"I bet you guys forgot about the food, I'm ordering you guy's pizza."

Phai sighed. He wondered what else they forgot about. The mother smiled.

"I will run to the store and buy drinks." The mother said grabbing her keys from the counter top. "Come on Callista!"

It was disgustingly unordinary how supportive his parents were.

Alex entered Phai's house and straight away Callista dashed out at him giving him a hug before running towards the car with her mom.

"I'll be back Alex, don't go anywhere." The young girl shouted leaping into the car.

Then Cassy entered whistling. This was unexpected. "Hello Phai." the boy smiled devilshly.

Phai nervously smiled at Alex and then Cassy. "Oh, right hi guys."

* * *

><p>"What are you doing here?" Phai took Cassy into the kitchen after Alex went upstairs to his room to get something.<p>

"Well Tolem told me he didn't need my help and to make things less suspicious he sent me over." Cassy answered.

"How is that less suspicious? You never come over even Alex knows that."

"I came over once and was kicked out remember." The bully reminded him.

"You're lucky I'm not kicking you out now." Phai grunted helplessly frustrated.

Alex came down the stairs and grinned displeasingly seeing Phai and Cassy in the kitchen talking.

"Hey Cassy." He said.

"Hi Alex."

"Are you here to hang out with us?"

"You bet. Phai invited me over. I hope its no problem. I would like to spend time with you as well. After all you just got back." They both smiled at each other fakely.

"I'm glad you're here."

Phai watched the two step into the living room talking as old friends.

"This is going to be bad." He said to himself.

* * *

><p>"Why do we have to set up and Phai doesn't. This was his idea." Roxanne complained her usual way while sweeping out the dirty shed.<p>

"Your right you would probably be better at distracting him than Phai because of how annoying you are." Answered Leon hitting a rock with an abandoned golf club he found in the high meadow.

"Shut up Leon and help."

"Help with what?"

"Leon, start setting up the tables."

Tolem was slaving trying to set up the welcome back sign on the shed with the help of Perdicas while Crater and Phil were setting up the party lights around the shed and sticking the torches along the deck to the pond.

Thais and Roxanne had to clean the inside of the shed and make it more suitable for guests. "How many people are actually expected to come?" Thais asked while decorating the inside with balloons and other ornaments.

"About a total of thirty or more!" Shouted Tolem from the outside.

"Alex has that many friends?" Roxanne asked.

"Yea, just because he used to be antisocial doesn't mean anything. He still has the same friends from middle school not to mention a lot of the kids down the block." Answered Thais.

"They only talk to him because he's hotter now."

"Good afternoon!" Phai's father entered the shed with an ice chest filled with drinks. "So this is where you young ones hang out? Not bad."

The girls just watched him weirdly as the handsome man dropped off the drinks and left with a jolly smile talking about the pizza being on its way.

"Who was that?"

"Phai's dad I think." Thais answered her.

"Oh." That was the first time she ever actually saw the guy.

She finished and loaded the canned drinks inside the refrigerator of the shack.

* * *

><p>Phai sat uncomfortably while Cassy stared at Alex and Alex at him from separate couches across each other. He was sitting next to his sister on another couch.<p>

"Are we going to do anything?" Phai asked just now realizing that they could have stayed that way the whole night.

The TV was on but only Callista was paying it any attention. "If I knew the TV couldn't distract me from the noise I am not hearing behind me I would have left the room along time ago." She said getting up and leaving. "You guys bore me."

Phai sighed loudly. Cassy ruined everything, it was a fact but he honestly didn't think it would end up this bad.

"I will go grab us drinks." Phai said making any excuse to get out of there. He then stood and went to the kitchen where his parents were. "This is horrible mom and dad."

He was glad he had his parent to whine too. Most kids his age had parents that worked all day and never came home, a lot like Alex's parents.

"What? Did Alex find out about the surprise?" The mom asked curiously.

"No it's not that, just Alex and Cassy together is weird."

"What are they doing that is so horrible?"

"Nothing. They talk and stuff but it isn't a normal way to have a discussion. What do I do about that?" Phai really needed the advice slumping on a chair and resting his head on the counter.

When just Alex was over he could have a good time but now that Cassy came in the picture things got weird and he didn't know what to do about it and he didn't want to be mean to him infront of his parents.

Amyntor smiled at his son. "You do know that this sounds almost like a personal problem."

His son looked stressed. "I don't know what it is."

Amyntor stared at his son. "Don't you guys have girlfriends to distract you?" he asked.

"I don't want a girlfriend." Phai mumbled and left the room dragging his feet.

"Why does he seem upset?" the mother asked.

"I don't know, he seems bothered by something. I mean what kind of boy doesn't want a girlfriend."

"Honey that's a good thing." she patted her husband on the shoulder.

* * *

><p>It was time for the party and Cassy and Phai told Alex they were going to meet up with the rest in the fields and ofcourse invited him to come. He didn't question them and he didn't question that it was almost sunset and just went along.<p>

Everything was set up, the food had arrived just on time and everyone arrived just in time. They all gathered around in the small party hut to surprise him.

Phai walked ahead of Cassy and Alex who were talking about things while heading towards the shed.

"So Phai is a pretty cool kid." Cassy said conversing. Alex wasn't shocked when the conversation was about Phai.

"It took you that long to notice eh." Alex looked to Cassy.

"I know where you are getting at Alex, I never hated him. Just picked on him." Cassy smoothly spoke.

"Have you told him that? Or are you expecting him to figure it out." Alex asked casually.

Cassy gave him a little wink "He'll figure it out."

They reached the area. "Alex I'm glad your back buddy." Cassy gave him a big juicy kiss on the cheek and backed away laughing.

Two loud popping fireworks set off high into the air. Phai turned and smiled tenderly at Alex. "Welcome back Alex."

Before the blonde noticed the lights turning on lighting up not only the field but the midnight blue sky, and his friends shouting out surprise, Alex was focused on the sincere and adoring sparkle that lay in his general's eyes. His lover's eyes.

The world kept quiet for a few seconds and nothing was more important to him.

* * *

><p>"Oh so this is what you guys were doing at the mall. Shopping for me, trying to surprise me."<p>

"Were you surprised?" asked Roxanne.

Everyone was hyper and loud. The pizza was the only food that didn't contain much sugar.

Alex glanced at Phai and gave him a private smile. "I was" and then turned back to the rest as they fought over which present he should open first.

It was the best party he had, probably the only one since his baby shower. His friend's were having a good time. Cleitus snuck to those who wanted it alcohol and set up more fireworks. Some used the shed as a make out area and others weren't private at all but nothing could turn this night down, even Cassy openly flriting with Phai. Alex ignored more often than not. However he had no real choice but to accept that down the road he would have to share him with others.

The night quieted after Alex opened all his gifts and thanking every single person making them feel like their present was as important as the next.

The friends settled in their sleeping bags outside resting for the night.

"Sorry Alex, I didn't bring you a present. I didn't have time." Phai apologized walking out towards Alex who was having alone time to himself as he stood watching the stars.

The blonde smiled when Phai came around him leaning his chin on his shoulder. 'I hope you don't mind."

Alex smiled. "Your present to me was you distracting me today. I'm having a great night Phai. Thank you. I can tell it was your idea. You always know just what I need."

"You say that like you knew me all my life."

"Because I do. How did you escape from Cassy?"

"You noticed?" he couldn't lie, Cassy was expressful about it.

"Yea."

"Does it bother you?"

"Only if it bothers you." he held out his hand. "Let's go swim."

The party was close to being over but his friends were still out there, some hanging around while the others were watching the highlighted sky from the ground.

Alexander decided he wanted to get wet and joined his friend in the decent enough temperature pond.

"It's nice to get wet in this weather." Phai said with a happy smile after jumping into the water.

Alex sunk in the pond and smiled back at him wiping the water from his face. "Yea, I hope you don't mind I removed my shirt." he joked charmingly.

"I thought you didn't know how to swim." Phai assumed not because of the accident that happened but he remembered Alex never wanted to be near the water and that's why he refused to join the swimming team. He had no problem joining everything else. In Phai's eyes he was almost like a cat because those animals hated water.

Alex averted his eyes down. "I do know how. What makes you think I can't?"

"Because. You don't remember when you sunk to the bottom of this water along time ago. Your mother said it was because you didn't know how to swim."

"I only fainted. I can swim though."

"I never believed it; you know when she told us that you couldn't swim. I knew there was something much more serious. Do you not like the water, you seem annoyed of it." blue eyes were interested.

Alexander didn't realize he was looking at the water hoping for it to disappear somehow. He contemplated how to answer. He remembered along time ago when the king always got in a lot of accidents involving water. The two most memorable were where he let himself fall asleep in a bath and his general saved him, then the falling through a iced over a lake, where the general also had to save him. He didn't necesarily hate water, he hated what water put his lover through just to save him. "I don't hate it, just it hates me sometimes." The answer was adorable and Phai laughed sweetly swimming towards him.

"Why do I feel right with you and want no other?" his eyes shined within the reflection of the water. His eyelashes flickered, while a droplet slid from it.

"Because I was born for you." The blonde boy answered staring at the beautiful glistening boy.

"What would I do if I ever lost you?"

"I hope you would miss me, if I was lost."

Phai lifted his arms over Alex's shoulders and containing the back of his neck pulled him closer and kissed him lovingly.

_The comfort of his skin, how someone, one person, one man can make me feel this way. _

_If I was ever lost, I would hope he'd find me. _

* * *

><p>The sun hid away from the moon. Hephaistion rode back to camp after taking a long refreshing walk. He was tired and had been out all morning. He did it to keep his mind off things. The generals have given him more sympathy as of late; for it's been a full two weeks and still his king hadn't awakened. Little movements were still being made and rough breathing but the eyes he loved so much stayed closed to the world and to him. The good news was that the generals thought that enough confirmation to keep him alive and not pull him out of his misery.<p>

He jumped off of his horse, and settled her back in the stables and headed back to his own tent to clean himself up.

It was windy. The camp was oddly quiet than before he left and he thought the moon wasn't high enough for all to be in bed this early.

His page wasn't anywhere to be found after he called him more than once. He sensed something wasn't right and headed to the main tent. He opened the flaps and saw a group of weary men sitting around the table including his friends.

From their faces he knew something bad had happened. He couldn't possibly think of a reason these men were this silent and this cheerless. It didn't look like there was an attack on them and everything around him seemed relatively ordinary accept for the silence.

"What's happened?" the general asked worriedly.

He almost didn't want to open his mouth after Ptolemy came to him and told him something he didn't wish to hear. The brunette general didn't believe it. "What?" he was dubious.

"We are doing the best we can. Craterus is leading the search team now." The curled haired general said miserably and then left the tent quickly fearing the others expression.

Alarm formed inside the brunette generals eyes. "How did this happen? Who was guarding him?" he demanded to know immediately, as he turned extremely tense.

Cassander stood to explain. "The guards' throats were cut. We found this blade in Alexander's tent." He tossed it to Hephaistion and the general snatched the bloody blade from the air. His head roiled and the blood was making him nauseous jus looking at it.

"Whose blood am I looking at?" the general was growing angry clenching the knife firmly.

"We don't know. It could be the guards or it could be the kings." The sharp eyed general spoke generally.

"Don't say that!" Hephaistion barked at Cassander taking the bloody knife he had given him to his face. "Where were the rest of you when this happened?" he accused rightfully. He had the right. He knew them all to well and their thoughts about him and Alexander.

Cassander let the general release his fury and grief. He knew Hephaistion was too much of a nobleman to take his life through anger without proof first of who actually was the cause of taking the kings body.

"Hephaistion, put the knife down. We don't know ourselves." Exclaimed Perdicas already up incase the knife dug any deeper in Cassanders jaw but the green eyed man stayed calm and focused on distressed blue eyes.

"They came obviously when we weren't around which was hours after you left during the morning." Perdicas spoke up again.

"Why did you let this happen? Why did I let this happen?" the plagued general backed away from Cassander dropping the knife and abruptly left the tent.

"Stop him." Cassander told Perdicas with Leonnatus following him out while he sat back down at the table.

"Hephaistion, Craterus is out looking. It's unwise to go search now without reinforcements." Perdicas stopped him.

"And this late!" Leonnatus added.

"Were there any signs of foot tracks leading out and towards Alexander's tent?" Hephaistion asked them both sternly.

"None. We searched far out the perimeter, no indications of any thieves or bandits."

"Please don't do this Hephaistion."

"I f there are no tracks, Craterus won't find him. The winds must of blown the foot prints away, there is no way one bandit or even group would be able to flee that quick and not leave a trace of tracks. Whoever took the king are professional assassins not our typical group of robbers. " He hurried and retrieved his horse and leaped onto him. "I will search all night. Hope I am back before the sun rises."

"Hephaistion, what if the king's body wasn't stolen? What if this is a misunderstanding and Alexander is awake looking for the murderers of his guards."

"Alexander wouldn't leave his own men without saying where he is going first, besides after his long sleep he would be far too weak to even move that quick." The general replied then rode off towards the nightfall.

"Should we follow him?" Asked Leonnatus ready to go get both of their horses until Perdicas told him to stand down.

"No, we need to stay here incase the bandits come back."

"He believes we have something to do with it?"

"And he has the right to. Come." They turned back towards the tent.


	19. Chapter 19

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Eighteen **

**/**

"He disappears with no fucking explanation nor does he consult these trialing matters with the rest of us? Who does he think he is?" Cassander growled to the two who gave the news. However the explanation was clear. The king was missing and Hephaistion longed to seek him out. He wouldn't just stand there and have a discussion about it. Doing nothing would do little to get the king back.

"There was no stopping him. His mind was set." Leonnatus answered appropriately.

"No, he was absent thought!" The evil eyed general responded back seeming more aggravated than his usual self.

"Even if we tried, there was a better chance of his horse turning back than him even looking back." Perdicas replied as Cassander turned his frustration to a chair and sending it flying to the ground.

Nearchus, another mighty general looked to the other consultants who were angered and saddened at the disappearance of their king. "I will go." He offered in assistance. "Alexander is a good friend. I should do him the honor and aid Craterus and Hephaistion."

Hephaistion, even though a lot still held no love for him had right to leave concerned for his lover and Nearchus offered happily to go find them both, knowing deep inside he was admitting that Hephaistion was and always had been a valuable member in Alexander's army.

"No, we stay. Higher ranked generals are far too important to squander at the moment. Sending Craterus was enough and he's due back soon anyway. We don't know what dangers lay ahead of Hephaistion and we can't risk following and walking into a trap that the enemy might have planned." Ptolemy suggested wisely.

Cassander scoffed still disbelieving this. He never understood the generals and the king's love for each other. So he rather saw it as just an infatuation complex. Alexander did love beautiful things and people.

Nearchus nodded, hurried and ordered other soldiers for the search in replace. The favors among Alexander remained incase he were to return or if to there luck, the thieves were to attack during the night falls. Just like Ptolemy had said they were much more experienced at preparing for such things.

"Bring here the queen. Quickly." Ptolemy ordered Leonnatus and Perdicas calmly but having his suspicions and they left immediately to her with no question.

Cassander looked up to Ptolemy with deep green eyes as if the general should already be explaining himself. "What's her purpose?"

"That we may share words." Ptolemy informed strongly.

Cassander and the others shifted curious attention to each other. None found the queen as lovely as Alexander did. She was bad news just like his mother. There was one thing Alexander was bad at and that was judgment of character. He broke civilization down in categories and assumed everyone was either with or against him. The generals felt Roxanne was against him, but in her eyes, there was reason for a disloyalty towards her husband. The blue eyed angel was the reason for everything she was angry at…

"Queen, you are summoned."

Roxanne turned her dark eyes from the fire burning candle and towards the two generals equipped and at her entrance. "What must be spoken of that you would interrupt my prayers?" she asked as if they interrupted something important.

"The king." Leonnatus spoke seriously with a slight glare towards the witch. "He's missing. General Ptolemy seeks information."

It took her awhile to react. "Hmm. Alexander leaves me alone nights, he beds his little whore and then leaves his kingdom and his men behind. Yet you all still honor him even though he brings you and everyone upon this world dishonor."

Leonnatus rolled his eyes. A lot felt the same as Roxanne did but none would dare think Alexander a king with no honor. He had his moments, where he came off more of a tyrant than any human, but all the queen was spouting was of her own personal desire. She cared not for any man.

"You wouldn't know anything of this do you?" Perdicas asked accusingly.

"I do not. But maybe his whore does." She chuckled and they sought her eyes, appalled that she didn't seem to care.

"Hephaistion has left to find him. We believe thieves were among us."

"Alexander is an enemy of many men." She answered crudely.

"You suppose someone wants him dead?"

She glared and whispered wickedly. "Yes." Then proceeded out of the tent, passing them.

The two generals shared more distrustful looks before following.

x

First came the winds and now the storm. Hephaistion leaped from the back of his horse and his boots sunk in the moistly grounds of the Indian soil. He crunched down getting to a knee and glared sternly at the muddy foot prints. He ran over them lightly with his fingers prying upon them with determined sight and noticed more tracks that must have been from Craterus' men. He sighed. After visually carrying out his theory he looked ahead and decided to keep to the trail. He wrapped himself up protecting himself from the rains of the heavens and he urged his horse on. "We'll make it, I promise. Alexander doesn't know that I can sense him a million miles away. We'll find him." It was a personal smile to calm himself. He wasn't worried about the men back at the camp following him. They could rejoice and it would not matter. They could follow if they wanted, but they wouldn't stop him from finding Alexander.

He jumped back onto the horse and continued the search hoping to catch up with Craterus.

* * *

><p><em>I had come a long way for this… I had everything...<em>

_ Well not everything. I didn't have the world. __But I've been completed and now that I am in this fulfilling period of my life, dreams, visions, whatever it is, how long would it take for me to break the moment in half? Split the second in two. _

_Phai was still as unfigured out as I was. How was I going to mess it up this time? I was popular for screwing things up with him. I did everything right accept for when I was around him. How long before can I keep the rope that ties our bond before we both slip free? From what I know of myself, my guess is not long. _

_I chased after him just like he would want me too. Would he chase me? Would he come after me if I was in trouble the way I would for him? Would he even care?_

_/_

_The blonde king lets off an insecure frustrated moan. _

_**If I say something wrong or do something improper will you tell me?"**_

_A soft smile forms on the blue eyed angel. He looks to the ceiling as if something else was on his mind. _

_The two lay upon a rug centered in the brunette general's quarters. _

_**Ah, so this is what had been troubling you all along? Doing, saying, the wrong thing to me? It took this long for you to speak up? You are so silly Alexander.**_

_**Silly? **He frowns up to face his lover front on.** How come I am silly? Was that question offensive? **He asks innocently. **I take it back if it was. I didn't mean it. **_

_The general's smile glistens at his beautiful man. He proceeds to chuckle sweetly. _

_**Oh by Zeus, there is no humanity without its sun. You brighten my world Alexander and nothing in your question is offensive or deplorable to me. You worry too much about what I think. You also get much less godly and more human.. **_

_The general teases but the king doesn't quite yet understand the humor. _

_**Do you mean that? **The blonde frowns and remains cautious trying to keep up with appearance. He reaches to put back on his crown but his hand is grabbed. _

_**Relax, love. Too much is on your mind. How do you succeed so much when you can't slow down? Sometimes measuring down can be helpful to your men and to yourself. **_

_**What if I mess up? With us? I'm not as perfect as I think I am, I am far off, you know? **The king demands approval._

_**You are a wonder at times. Your flaws excite. **The general seriously speaks.** But don't worry about how I feel about anything. Worry about you. You are the king, there you have a right too.**_

_**So you are allowed with concern of me but not me of you?**_

_**That's right...**_

_The king frowns in thought of it._

_**Okay…Alexander?**_

_The blonde man smiles brightly. _

…_**Okay**_

_**\**_

_It was a lie. A terrible one. The 'okay' meant that I confirmed that I understood what he meant. Who was I kidding, I had no clue. I went down a road where my obsession for Phai meant that there wasn't just me in this relationship. But us both. And no one else. _

* * *

><p>A year passed.<p>

Alex, Phai and Tolem were sitting at Alex's counter kitchen. Their eyes were fixed on something as they lurked with vagueness out the front window.

"This is brutal." Tolem shook his head.

Alex didn't say a word his expression heavy with anger.

Phai felt dreadful watching it himself. He decided to kill the tension. "Well where does he know her from?"

The blonde surprisingly answered. "I've seen him with her plenty of times but he's never introduced us. He always tells me he knows her from work but…I don't think I believe that."

"Look at them make out." Tolem wrinkled his nose in disgust. "She's like a Barbie doll. Like one in Callista's room. But real life. And he's like Clint Eastwood."

Phai nudged Tolem lightly. "Tolem that's not helping."

"What, it's the truth!" he mumbled back.

"It's no big deal. Nothing I say or think would matter anyway." Alex turned his attention away clearly being bothered by the situation.

Phai sighed softly. "How do you deal with it?"

Alex seemed taken aback at the question and blinked confused but set eyes on his friend. "I don't know I just… do. I guess. I mean I lived with this all my life. I'm kinda used to it." The blonde stood and decided it would be best to not even talk about it.

Phai contritely looked at Tolem and they boy just shrugged. "Whatever you say."

Troubles ran throughout Alex's family almost consistently so it wasn't an unusual thing for him to feel upset again, but the problem was that he refused to open up with anyone even Phai and this bothered his friend. He's been on the edge about Alex ever since they started dating. There was something wrong, clearly obvious. It didn't even have anything to do with his father with another young big titted whore and Phai knew that. But knowing how little patience Alex had for things now, he decided not to say anything yet. Alex had always been a bit mysterious to him and he remained mysterious even though they have become closer since he's been back so it didn't make sense to him. Before, Phai could ask Alex anything. Now, not so much.

Alex felt eyes on him and sought Phai's big blue ones. He gave a tiny questioning smile.

They turned their attention towards the front door slamming open then closed and a loud Cleitus hollering out to them with abused excitement. "Hey bitches!"

The blacked haired man ran into the kitchen breaking up Alex and Phai's little gazes to each other. Phai sat back in his chair sighing.

"What's up ladies, I have good news and bad news." Cleitus charmingly said as he ran his hand through his slick black hair taking a seat next to Phai and wrapping a friendly arm around him.

"Thanks for coming in uninvited." Alex said looking over a magazine that was sitting on the counter top but watching intently Cleitus's actions towards Phai. "Bad news first."

"Your dads making out with someone other than your mother." He laughed.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Thanks for noticing."

"That's the bad news?" Phai asked, unkindly shaking away Cleitus from him and Alex kept from smiling. He knew Phai was just thinking about his feelings. "Obviously that's something you shouldn't bring up right now Cleitus."

"I apologize beautiful, she's blonde, hot, and young, all those traits in one are lethal." The man winked and Phai glared.

"What's the good news?" Alex interrupted before Phai went blushing from the kind words knowing Cleitus was trying to charm him.

"Check this out, so my buddies are heading to this night club later tonight and they can get us in for free. What do you say, you wanna go?"

"I'm in." Tolem answered.

Alex smirked. "Sounds fun, but no I'm good. Gotta watch my dad make sure he doesn't fall down the stairs again." It really happened but they all knew that was an excuse to get out of it.

"Dude your dad doesn't need babysitting. I'm sure he's going to be out with that hot chick all night anyway. If anything he's probably going to praise your absence Alex. No offence."

"None taken. But no."

Phai didn't understand why Alex was being so buoyant. He looked at him and smiled sweetly. "You know it could be fun. To get out."

"Yea how long have you been babysitting your dad?" Tolem chuckled. "Like forever. He seems perfectly fine to me."

"He fell down the stairs last week. And that's not really the point. Clubs are just overrated. You can go on without me though."

Cleitus looked at Phai and Phai shrugged back shaking his head not knowing if they should press further.

"What, I can't change his mind." Phai said to Cleitus.

"He always listens to you." Cleitus argued back.

"That doesn't mean anything."

"It should."

"I'm right here, I can hear you guys." Alex replied annoyed.

The black haired man sighed. "Look Alex you never been to a club before so how can you say it's overrated."

He flipped a page to the magazine. Then his irises narrowed in an out, quick reminders of him as king getting drunk, bedding slaves and passing out to remember nothing. "It wasn't fun."

"What?" Phai asked confused.

Alex blinked, the sight before him becoming clearer and realized he spoke out loud. "I mean it's not…fun." He shifted insecurely and went back to the magazine hoping there attention was on a different topic.

"How do you know if its fun or not if you haven't been to one."

"Just because I haven't been to one doesn't mean I haven't heard about them. So kids go to look cool and have fun, who cares." He impertinently spoke.

"Bingo, life sucks, so live it." Cleitus answered. "And I expect to see you there. The others are going and they want you to go. I knew you would be a pussy about it. When are you actually gonna have fun in your miserable pathetic life."

Alex frowned. "What's so pathetic about my life Mr. 'I smoke weed all day and don't have a job yet'."

That made even Phai laugh out loud but he stopped when Alex and Cleitus both glared at him. The brunette cleared his throat. "Sorry" and started to curl his hair around his finger nervously loking away. Over the break he had let it grow out longer.

"I have a job and I get paid a lot." Cleitus finally answered.

"Drug dealing isn't an official job."

"Whatever the point is that you don't have enough fun."

"I do have fun. My life is fun."

None of them were convinced. Not even Alex sounded so sure of it.

Phai bit his lower lip nervous when Alex folded his arms sternly awaiting a reply.

"Look Alex we're not saying you don't have fun but you're just too…"

"What Phai?"

"Odd, maybe." Phai smiled for forgiveness and Alex scoffed.

"Odd? How am I odd?"

"Okay so maybe odd isn't the right word."

"You're uptight." Tolem answered in.

"Try lonely." Cleitus replied.

"Emo, uncool, depressed," Tolem suggested. In his opinion that explained Alex in a nutshell.

"Whoa wait a minute you guys don't think I'm cool." the blonde teen looked really offended.

"You don't remember your childhood that well do you?" Cleitus insulted.

"You play Barbie's with my sister Alex." Phai seriously responded.

"I was being nice. You don't play with her." He accused.

"Yea but there is no written policy saying that you have too."

"Look Alex you just go through life too seriously."

The blonde nodded. He then closed the magazine and left the kitchen ignoring them.

"Alex." Phai called for him. "He doesn't mean that."

"Oh yes I do." Cleitus nodded and Tolem glared at him.

Alex didn't respond and just went to the living room and sat on the couch taking the remote and turning on the TV.

"Well thanks Cleitus. You stupid dick." Phai hissed after hearing the volume turning up from the other room.

"I'm trying to help his image; you guys are seniors in high school. You either have to be cool or be locked in lockers and that's long passed your grade."

"You're such a douchebag." Phai tossed his drink at Cleitus angrily and Tolem laughed. "Go apologize."

Alex got bored of the TV quick and stood pacing, thinking about his friend's accusations. He wasnt necessarily bored, just bothered.

**_x_**

_The king laughs rowdily with his companions. He cares about his image, and what people think of him, especially those he hasn't won the hearts of yet. The king takes a large chalice that a common whore pours for him and chugs it in seconds. _

**_x_**

Alex felt his heart racing. He started to panic feeling the wine itself burning in his stomach. He caught the edge of the couch steadying himself and clenching his belly. He wanted to vomit.

**_x_**

_His friends and the people cheer the king on and he roars back in complete happiness and bliss. He can barely stand so he slumps down at his throne giggling._

_**x**_

The blonde teen grabbed at his hair frustration building even more. He shut his eyes as his visions were getting more vibrant. Stomach aching more; he got to his knees gripping tight the carpet.

_**x**_

_Alexander snatches and kisses a boy slave on the lips and laughs as the men encourage it. He has no mind outside the feast. Then he stops and stares at his beautiful lover looking right back at him. His pleasured smile disappears and he knows he will be questioned at the end of the night. He knows he's in trouble but still wasted he lets his general know through the taints of his eyes that he still loves him and continues to keep face. _

_x_

Alex was breathing heavily and sighed in relief after the pain had gone and the visions died down. He rubbed his face exhaling loudly. He stood hearing his three friends arguing about something in the kitchen.

Phai, Tolem and Cleitus quickly turned growing silent just now realizing that Alex was standing there looking at them. He looked like he was there for awhile. "I will go."

They all were all surprised saying nothing and they were glad for an interruption as they heard Phillip and what sounded like his new girl enter the house. She was giggling flirtatiously with him about something and stopped when she saw the four teens in the kitchen. She looked stupidly at Phillip then back at the kids.

"Oh, hello." She smiled at them all.

"What's up." Cleitus did a head nod.

"Who are you?" Alex asked rudely as if he was the man of the house.

"She's a good friend Alex." Phillip answered back not feeling the need to explain any further than that. He took her jacket and offered her something to drink.

"Your father hasn't mentioned me? I apologize. I'm Euri." She held out her hand to shake Alex's but he continued with his arms crossed just looking at her.

"Name doesn't sound familiar. Your right he hasn't mentioned you." He answered and left the kitchen.

The other teens said nothing and slowly started to gather their stuff to leave trying to make it less uncomfortable for themselves.

"Nice seeing you Phillip. Glad you're feeling better."

"Yea, yea, get out Cleitus." Phillip grumbled placing a bottle of strong wine on the counter and two cups.

"Is he always like that?" She asked dazed, once the kids had left upstairs to Alex's room thinking she was going to get a better welcome from his son.

"Yea, sadly even with his own mother."

* * *

><p>"A club?" Phai's father asked smirking.<p>

"Yea dad, you've heard of it?"

"Don't be a smartass. I'm just interested. You just never been into clubs or parties before."

"Oh stop it; Phai deserves to have some fun." His mother said. They were at the table eating dinner. "I think it's great that he's going out."

"Are you going to pick up a girl or something?" the dad asked concerned thinking that's what his wife was hinting at.

"No dad!"

"You say that as if you're not into girls."

"I'm not." Phai replied without thinking.

His fathers eyes widened, and Callista was staring at him awkwardly. "Boys?" they both asked at the same time.

Phai look disgusted with them.

"Amyntor!Callista!" his mother was stunned.

"What I'm just asking the boy…" the father innocently replied then turned immediately interested. "Are you son?"

"No, I like girls just I don't care to have a girlfriend at the moment." Phai explained himself better even though it still wasn't the truth.

"You're such a liar Phai. That's why you wasted half of dinner time picking out nice clothes. You're obviously trying to impress somebody." Callista budged in. "I feel sorry for any girl attracted to you."

"I'm not trying to impress anyone you nitwit."

The dad chuckled. "Who are you going with?" he said changing the subject.

"Friends." His son answered irately.

"Oh you mean Alex." His dad smiled and Phai frowned in return. His dad seemed to know something.

"I wouldn't be surprised. I think Phai has a crush on Alex." Callista responded evily. Phai looked at her, thinking of a way to save himself.

"I do too." His father teased too and Phai couldn't help but blush.

"That's not true! Mom?"

"Okay enough Callista go do your homework and Phai, honey your father is teasing." The mother said supportingly.

They heard someone come through the front door. It was Tolem and the teen greeted them. "Hello Phai's family."

"Hey Tolem." Phai stood fast wanting to be done there.

"Are you ready?" he asked Phai.

"Yea let me get my stuff." Phai left.

Amyntor stared at Tolem while chewing his food. "Tolem did we invite you for dinner?"

"No."

"Then get out."

"Honey be nice."

"Where are you guys going anyway. Nothing really starts happening in a club until 11." Amyntor mentioned.

"We are just going to hang out with Alex before we go." Tolem answered brightly.

"Oh okay. Hows he by the way?" Amyntor asked.

"Who?"

"Alex."

"Oh he's good."

"Good."

Phai ran back down the stairs anxious to get the day started and rushed Tolem out the door, quickly saying goodbye to his family.

"Dude does your dad know about you boy crush on Alex?"

His annoyance spiked. "I don't have a crush on him."

A disbelieving smile swept across Tolems face. "Really?"

Phai sighed while fiddling with his hands. "I didn't think anyone would find out." he finally confessed. It was pointless to keep what was already untied hidden.

His friend laughed. "I knew it all along." he shook his head.

"You didn't tell anyone did you?"

"Ofcourse not. That's not my place."

"Thank you." Phai said shyly.

"Are you going to tell me everything about it?"

"Yea." Phai nodded trying to hide his smile in. They headed towards Alex's place.

* * *

><p>Alex glanced around the dark busy party club as they walked through the dance floor. Cleitus intentionally only made it a guys night out, due to Phai's hatred towards Roxanne and her annoying friends so he could breath with her not being around. She would proably be all over Alex anyway not even letting him go take a piss without her.<p>

Three different sorts of loud music busted through the separated walls as it vibrated the floor in a vast beat. Everyone was dressed wild and slutty. Everyone was energetic, and happy while in there moment. There were go go dancers and Djs on every floor exciting and pressuring the crowd.

Phai was staring hard at Alex wondering what he was thinking at a time like this. He was definitly in another world.

"You wanna dance."

"What?" Alex turned to Phai not hearing him the first time.

"Do you wanna dance!" he asked louder.

"Uh sure. Like together?"

"Yea. Or with someone else if youre uncomfortable."

"No," Alex spoke nervously. He cleared his throat. "It's good. We can dance."

Phai smiled seductively and took Alex's hand in his pulling him through the crowd, not caring who saw. Alex watched the way he moved in his nice black jeans and blue fitted shirt.

They went into the middle of the dance floor where the pop music was playing and the dj was sounding over the loud speaker. Alex looked uncertain what to do.

"I don't mind if you touch me." Phai smiled perfectly.

x

_I didn't know what music was playing, nor did I care. I was only captured in the beautiful man that wanted to dance with me. The way he touched gently my hips and smiled dangerously at me, encouraging me on as he started to move to the music. He leaned into me his mouth close to mine. "Come on."_

_x_

He started to rub up against him and Alex was already getting aroused so easily. Moving all the while Phai pecked at Alex's lips slowly. The rythm of the music hit fast and Phai staretd to sexily work his hips more against Alex's cock. Phai shook his hair getting it all tosseled while Alex stood like a girl so in love. He was enjoying turning Alex into a statue.

Slowly Alex guided his hands to to Phai's hips and flushed his body closer. The two pressed. "This isnt too bad?" Phai asked in a sleek whisper as he controlled the situation taking Alex's hands and guiding them where he wanted to be touched.

Alex shook his head. "No." he smiled and they kissed intensely.

* * *

><p>They walked to the table where their friends were gathered laughing and chatting. Phai sat down next to Tolem and Alex just decided to stand. Cassy was dressed super contemporary. Grey light vest over a white collared shirt and grey skiny jeans. His hair slicked back to emphasize his strong features.<p>

"Ah so the two arrive." he said with a sneaky grin.

"Hey Cassy." Alex sneered.

Cleitus brought them over some drinks.

"We're not twenty one yet." Leon said.

"So. I pay, you drink."

"And if we get caught." Cassy asked Ceitus as if he was stupid.

"Then youre on your own."

They all sat and enjoyed the time. After awhile Crater, Phil and Peridcas went out to go find some girls and Phai went to go look around some more while Tolem, Cleitus, Cassy, Leon and Alex stayed put talking and drinking. Alex had little to drink trying to keep a clear head. He was stirring his drink poking at the cubes of ice until he caught with eyes afar two boys talking with Phai. At first he paid no mind until one touched him. Then he frowned edgily. Many had flirted with Phai that night but Alex had less of a problem with the girls and more the guys. They were sneaking touches to his arm flirtatiously. Alex scoffed pretending that it was nothing and to not let it bother him. Phai played nicely in return, no flirting but surely not wanting to be rude. Alex felt his own skin rising. No doubt jealousy. He's never really felt this protectiveness before other than from the king who haunts his visions everyday. Himself. And further he didn't know what to do. To interrupt would be to doubt his lover and to do nothing would give the impression he didn't care.

The blonde teen felt another burning gaze and stole a glance at Cassy discovering he wasn't the only one in the same position. Cassy looked to him and smirked and the two stared at each other for awhile. Alex smirked back, took a sip of his drink and decided to make the first move. He had the power to impress.

x

_Jealousy…what can I say about it? It's a strong feeling like the first time you sip from a cup of wine. It's filled with rage but apprehension. One starts to get coated in there own insecurity. There own troubles, there lack of charm, there lack of discovery. Envy, it causes an automatic cling. It is a predictable expected emotion, hard to get over yet destined in all men. All women. All relationships. It used to not make sense to me before one owned my heart. So what do I do? _

/

_**Alexander what is the meaning of this! **_

_The general enters the king's quarters as the blonde bellows an outrage. _

_**The little whore I saw you speaking with. Don't ask me such a question Hephaistion!**_

_He paces heatedly. His hair messy from throwing things, his body tense from feeling replaced. Eyes clearly intoxicated._

_**You are blind, it was nothing. **The general speaks strongly._

_**Nothing? What's nothing to you? **The king yells at his lover._

_**You're drunk, I will not speak to you at this level. **_

_**You will talk!**_

_**\**_

Alex's eyes were drowned in a sea of envy. Phai looked uncomfortable and already a group was forming around him. Alex placed down his glass took a deep breath and stood from his chair. Cassy sat back.

**/**

_**I would have that man executed!**_

_**You are overreacting!**_

_They yelled through the night_.

_Alexander starts to throw things messing up and damaging his own room. _

_His general stood scared watching._

**\**

All were sitting at a booth seat and Tolem looked to the rest after wondering where Alex was heading but already figured it out. His blondes were on fire. His fingers stretching and fists trying to loosen up. "Oh no." Tolem stood quickly.

Then they all stood to get a better look but Cassy could see perfectly fine from where he was at, his sharp eyes intrigued.

"You can say that again." Cleitus sighed.

Alex tried to calmly approach but the king in him gave him life.

Phai kindly told the boys and their friends that he had to go but was stopped when trying to leave. "Hey you wanna come back to our place. Ditch whoever you're with and let's bail."

"Really, for what reason? I don't know you."

The main guy smirked and leaned into him, his mouth close to Phai's soft cheek. "To do stuff. Like hang out. Then you will know me really well."

"Just a few minutes ago you were with a bunch of girls. Are you hitting on me?" Phai knew exactly what kind of people he attracted and those weren't the good guys.

"Maybe. I wouldn't consider you a guy."

"I'm sorry I don't swing that way for everyone and your girlfriend wouldn't like that to much either." Phai took offence and he became disgusted. "No thanks." he replied crudely.

He began to walk but was grabbed roughly again. "You're saying no to me?" the guy said with a slight grin on his spread lips.

"If you don't let go of me it's going to be more than just no."

"I like feisty girls. What are you going to do pretty boy? Give me a lap dance? Rough me up?"

Alex angrily pushed by a bunch of people who were talking and dancing in his way and from there Cleitus and Tolem put down their dirnks and went after him incase something bad were to start.

Phai shoved the boy flirting, harshly, warningly then he saw from the corner of his eye Alex approaching. The two boys clouded his space grabbing at him innapropriately. The blonde must have seen Phai look at him because he began to slower his steps with an uncertain expression in his troubled eyes, almost stuck in a decision. He knew Phai knew how he felt about him. But he also wanted to strongly punch the living shit out of the guys.

He stared at Phai almost pleadingly asking for directions if to step in or not. The boys saw the pretty guy looking towards something else and chuckled turning to that direction of his interest.

/ _We exist in a world of choices. Good or bad. Overwhelming jealousy, why won't it leave me alone. It follows me like a stand-out natural scent. I say something I ruin something special. I don't say anything I might ruin nothing. But what I have is precious something anyone would be lost without as expensive as it is. Phai is expensive to me. /_

"Hey." Alex's voice was deep and callous once he adressed them.

Phai shyly looked to the ground but peered to see the others expressions.

"Who the hell are you faggot?" the guy answered looking at the blonde who lacked in height compared to them.

"I don't think he likes you touching him. You should leave him alone." Alex asked politely but the guys just laughed after a moment of silence sharing each other looks.

Phai snatched his arm away once more and asked Alex if they could just go. "Come on Alex let's leave it."

"No wait I want to see this, is this your boyfriend. I can tell by the way he reacted to the word faggot." the guy laughed.

Alex said nothing.

"Oh so youre like the really strong type aren't you?" The guy looked into his glass of alcohol and spit into it before pouring the drink on Alex's nice black shirt until it was empty, then his friends started to laugh again. "You might want to get someone else to drive you home tonight."

The world around Alex folded into a blurry configure, his eyes muted and he zoomed out. Everything was quiet but moving. The boys were staring at him awkwardly and saying things to him. Finally everything became louder. Phai was holding onto Alex trying to drag him to leave. "Alex let's go. Please can we just go." he whispered in his ear.

Alex smiled then started to laugh madly with them. "Here I will get you another!" Alex cheerfully offered and took a drink from a table before tossing the liquid in the guys face.

The guy growled and swung at Alex but Alex reacted quick enough to see it and ducked, punched the man in the side, clenched his arm with a massive grip grabbed his throat and slammed him to the ground sitting upon him hardly giving him room to move.

Before his other mates could attack their friend, Cassy, Crater, Tolem, and the rest, stepped in surrounding Alex and moving infront of the bullies incase of further confrontation. They protected their friend as if they were raised to do so.

Alex turned aggressive his entire structure of magnificence. He smiled upon the guy. "I don't remember when I got into a fight last but I am guessing it might have been some thousands of years ago. In life upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all. Fighting, it makes me so sick at heart that I become odious. But sometimes I feel it's my job to protect what's mine and that's everything." Alex lifted his fists ready to punch the mans face in.

"Alex!" Phai yelled not believing his eyes and the blonde quickly turned to him and then he was back as a king looking upon his general.

**/**

_The king's hands are bloody from punching at the walls realizing that's the only healthy way to release his anger so that he wouldn't lay a hand on his lover. _

_The general just watches as he lets out all the tension. _

_The king calms but breaths are heavy and he sinks to the ground looking at his hands now feeling the pain of maybe broken bruised bones. He's shaking wondering what just had happened. _

_**Are you better now?** His friend asks sadly._

_The king shakes his head, letting the wine take hold, letting tears come with no facade _

_**No. ** He realizes he was acting foolishly over nothing. **I'm sorry I will never drink again.**_

_Hephaistion knows his king would be back in the cups sooner or later so doesn't mention anything about it. _

_**There was no one. **The general again reassures his jealous lover._

_**I know.** Alexander responds lowly in shame. __**The thought of someone having you though is unmanageable. **_

_**I'm yours why can't you just know that…I will get the doctor. **_

_The general leaves. _

_**\**_

Alex slowly unloosened his fist after seeing Phai's shocked expression and turned back to the boy calmer than before. "I was asked to come here so that I may have a good time. He's pretty huh? So pretty it becomes a natural disaster. I understand how you feel. But he is the heaven that I have always prayed for. He's not yours. He is mine. Do not touch him or think about him again. Do I make myself clear?" He felt a very thin layer of water fall down his own cheek. "Good." He shoved the guy furiously, stood and backed away from him wiping away the angry tears that came from his eyes. He looked at all his friends smiled shortly at them then left the floor. Everyone who encountered it shocked.

The man on the ground stared at Phai almost scared to death, got up, called them all freaks and hurried off with his friends.

"Did you see that?" Phai asked about what just happened.

"Which part?" Tolem answered worried.

Cassy grinned. "Alex finally has grown some balls? Since when?" he was the most excited while everyone else was stunned.

"I think he's always had them." Cleitus answered and Phai hurried after Alex who he saw leave for the exit.

Alex removed his wet overshirt and let the nice warm breeze dry the mess as he walked outside in a hurry. Phai exited the club thanking the two security staff. "Alex." he called.

The blonde said nothing.

Phai rolled his eyes. He walked slowly to the car while Alex was practically already in it. The blue eyed teen had a weird sort of energy upon his face and a very slim frown, face full with concern. Alex tossed his shirt in the back and started the car shaking a bit in doing so. Phai opened the passenger door just captivatingly staring at him. He couldn't tell if Alex was angry or just being nervous. He noticed the blonde was struggling with the keys, cursing at them under his breath so he took them gently away from his hand, reached in, and kissed him quickly on the cheek before Alex could ask for them back or react angrily.

Alex stopped any words he was about to speak and looked at him weirdly, not expecting that. The brunette smiled.

"Did you forget I came with you?" Phai asked.

"No." Alex answered honestly still stuck melting in his friends eyes.

Phai smiled. "Were you planning on leaving me behind Alex?"

"Yea." the blonde nodded softly.

"Too bad." Phai got into the car and closed the door shut and stared back at Alex for a while. Neither of them seemed to be bothered at how long they shared no words. Phai kept the keys so they could go nowhere.

Alex sighed. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Did we pressure you to come tonight?"

"I was afraid you were going to ask me questions. So forgive me for wanting to leave you behind." he replied with a non serious appeal.

"Alex, you can't get rid of me just because I feel worried about you. That's silly."

"I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Impressing."

"Who?"

"Everyone."

"I don't think you were going to put that man in the hospital just because he poured a drink on you. Alex I am not blind. You don't think I know how one acts when they are jealous. I'm yours why can't you just know that?"

Alex turned away from him and stared ahead. He gave a half assed laugh. 'I don't know Phai."

"You could just be yourself around me."

"Do you not like the way I was acting?"

"Something is wrong and you're not telling me. That's the part I don't like."

"Nothing is wrong, everything's been fine lately."

"You're such a bad liar. You wouldn't be able to look at me and stare me in the eyes and say that. Is it about your dad and his new girlfriend? The fact you and your mother and family are so far apart. Is it because you're having issues exposing me as your boyfriend. What is it? Just tell me." his voice more soothing than impatient.

"You wouldn't understand because I don't understand it myself."

Phai knew he wouldn't confess, or speak about it. "There's something about you I can't quite figure out because you won't let me. But I promise I will."

Alex looked to him strangely.

"Anyway where did you learn to fight like that?"

"I have super human powers."

"Sexy. Can I see them?"

Alex leaned in and kissed him daringly and grinned against his lips before pulling back.

"What kind of power is that?" Phai chuckled.

"The power to make you forget." Alex answered.

"It almost worked."

"Good enough for me."

"When I called you odd today, I meant it. I would be lying if I took it back. I always thought you weird Alex and there's nothing wrong with being different. I think it's cute and I love it. I wouldn't have you any other way than who you are."

"I'm not lonely or depressed though."

Phai knew it was his own way to bullshit himself. He was in denial but most people were, so he wouldn't hold it against him.

"Okay but when you finally want to tell me what's wrong I'm always here."

"I look forward to the day I can."

Phai was just watching him and then smiled weakly. "I just thought you would at least talk to me about things." He rubbed Alex's cheek. "But it's okay if you don't. I suppose one day you will or one day I will find out myself the hard way."

"Phai, I really, really don't want to tell you something you don't want to hear." he said with an overcast in his voice and gloom in his eyes.

"It's okay Alex; if it would keep you from lying to me."

Alex hurried and kissed him again, urgently and apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"Are you trying to get me to forget this conversation because I won't?" Phai said.

"I know." Alex nodded smiling and began to kiss him more passionately. "But I can try."

* * *

><p>Their hands entwined as Phai sat in Alex's lap, front facing him.<p>

'_I'm lost in the world, I'm down on my life... I'm new in the city, but I'm down for the night, down for the night, down for the night..._  
>The music in the car sounded lost in the distance of their love making as the two were parked down the street a couple of blocks from there house. <em>'You're my devil, you're my angel, You're my heaven, you're my hell, <em>_You're my now, you're my forever, You're my freedom, you're my jail...'_

Alex had long removed Phai's shirt, blessing him with loving kisses upon the naked chest until he nipped at the vulnerable throat.

'You're my lies, you're my truth, You're my war, you're my truce, _You're my questions. you're my proof ...'_

His tongue now gliding up his chin to his lovers wet lips. They caressed the softness and roughness of their skin along with imperfections.

"You're my stress Phai..."

They decided to abandon the night.


	20. Chapter 20

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Nineteen **

**/**

Cassander finished the question dryly. "I will ask again. Where is our king?"

More silence sprung as much as refusal to speak.

"I wasn't the only one to recall that you were one of the last to see him."

The men gathered in the room didn't plan on interrogating her, but all who were present around Alexander needed to be questioned and anyone who refused to be questioned knew the dangers of not speaking up or at all. They figured it was better to find everyone a suspect than no one at all.

"Answer!" The general yelled patience running thin.

"You seek answers in which you know I hold no knowledge. You would accuse me responsible with false tongue of the disappearance of King Alexander? He is my husband." The dark queen hissed as her reply towards the one who seemed to think she had something to do with why Alexander wasn't where he should be, along aside his men.

"You've had this spurn for him ever since he took two other mistresses. You've also grown weary of his disappearances; because he no longer sleeps with you at night and sneaks off to Hephaistion's warmer thighs. If jealousy didn't have a part in this than I must not know what the word even means." He threatened her with his approach, even considering her status as queen. "What did you do. Poison him and hire help to ditch his body? Tell me, witch."

Both Cassander and Roxanne were incredibly vulgar, not just to each other but everyone they held no liking for. In some ways they were the same. Like looking in the mirror but there desires were different. Roxanne only wanted her king's love and recently had felt betrayed. Cassander only wanted the throne but he even knew killing Alexander for it wasn't going to give him the title.

"What's been passed through my ear, were of thieves stealing his body? I am not familiar with these lands nor do I have the resources. Why would I waste my precious time worrying about a disabled king?" She retorted bravely.

"Because you couldn't do it if he was awake. Who is behind it?" Cassander yelled at her, but she did not flinch regardless of his close contact. The men stood by due to Cassanders outrage. He was getting extremely impatient.

She wasn't threatened, especially by a man. Men in her opinion were weak. It was a favored idea especially to women about all of them. Roxanne smirked wickedly. "Ask your own. Do not most of you want anything more than recognition from your king that he so easily dismisses? You want to go home but he holds you all hostages like your slaves of his presence. You have as much reason, or more than I to want to get rid of him. You've known him since child, therefore the resources and plotting comes far before hand, easily in your grasp. You call yourselves his friends because you are all afraid of what he would do if he found out just the opposite of the illusion you give him. If this satisfies your question, since you demand such an answer as much as the truth, I don't know where he was taken, but wherever the king is, I pray that whoever does have him, they take his life for his betrayal to his queen."

Ptolemy glared at her while she dismissed herself from the tent. "She's a snake." He expressed giving the rest a sign of caution. "None of us would betray the king. That much I know. He does things we may not agree with but never would I attempt anything against him." The curlied hair general said honestly.

"What of Philotas and Parmenion. They betrayed him did they not?" Leonnatus asked unsure himself.

"Perhaps they did, perhaps not. The fact remains they were still loyal to Alexander, just maybe not the king."

"What if she is right? It could be anyone. It could have been foreigners who stalked us during our journey." Perdicas joined.

Cassander shook his head. "Yes but they would have had help. We're talking about barbarians here."

"I agree. Alexander is always careful. Sure he's been careless but never without reward. And we all know we would have to get rid of Hephaistion first if we wanted something like this attempted. Alexander would have suspected, or known if we were being spied upon. We have guides, and Alexander always being hunted would have been on the alert for any reason. He's the king of the world and he has enemies, even close ones. The reason why I accuse the queen is because she's the second to the last person Alexander would suspect to hurt him." Ptolemy reasoned. "I see the look in her eyes when she's envious. That's when Alexander becomes most careless, around those he cares for, thinking he's built a trust. Someone like her would take that into consideration. Women are dangerous. We all know what his mother is capable of."

"I agree. We've fought these Indian tribes; they are as careless with schemes as some claim of our king, and rely only in strength so to assume they've suddenly grown clever is unreasonable. This is a set up and someone here knows this." Cassander responded.

Silence swept in the tent as they looked to each other some seeming ashamed. Thunder exploded in the skies, and far off lighting lit it up and the tent casting outdoor shadows.

Nearchus finally spoke up worried for the men on the search. "Craterus should be back soon." He sighed nervously.

"Hopefully with the king." Ptolemy murmured.

Leonnatus groaned after unfolding his arms. "We'll start questioning." He pushed himself to get ready for a long night. He nodded towards Perdicas and the young general followed Leonnatus through the tent.

"Make sure the queen is guarded at all times." Cassander added, apparently unusually dismayed.

The two generals gave the nod and left. Ptolemy looking worn himself, surely worried about Alexander, shrugged at Cassander and then followed the others.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**/**

_The two walk side by side, there time going by slowly but always according to the young's princes plan. _

_**Phai, when I grow older, as big as my dad, I am going to take my friends on a very long walk. Okay?**_

_Young Hephaistion watches his best friend stop to pick up a snake slithering by their feet. He was thinking about it. _

_**A long walk? How long? **_

_The young blue-eyed boy watches how the young prince and the snake become friends.. The animal doesn't strike and the blonde boy has no fear. _

_**Probably 33 years. **_

_Alexander answers with a small shrug, seeming to be more fascinated with the creature running through his fingers than the response given. _

_**That's precise. And what makes you think they are up for it?**_

_The brown haired boy gives his friend a small laugh thinking it absurd._

_The prince lets the snake escape. _

_**Well I will be king, so they would have no choice right?**_

_He answered with young innocence. _

_**So you're going to force them to follow? **_

_The brunette raises his eyebrows. _

_**Why not. If I want to go someplace, I'm not leaving any one behind. I want them to stay with me at my side always. I have everything planned and ready to go once dad lets me. If he thinks I'm ready Craterus will be my strength. Cleitus my shield. Ptolemy my brain. Parmenion, my guide. And you my heart and my soul. You could be the better me incase I fail as a king. I might ask you this a year from now or maybe longer, but when I do succeed, if I get lost, would you come find me?**_

_**Of course. You know I would! What kind of question is that?**_

_Hephaistion frowns and answers defensively. _

_The prince smiles. **Would you stop? Or give up if you felt there was no hope?**_

_Hephaistion turned his gaze towards him. _

_**Stop being stupid. I would never**._

_Alexander stopped, letting his friend walk ahead until Hephaistion stopped too. _

_**What is it Alex?**_

_The blonde smiled joyously. _

_**Nothing, your answer was just precise. What makes you so sure I can trust you?**_

_**Well if I'm your heart and soul, love, I would have no choice right?**_

_**Right.**_

_The brunette walks away. _

\

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the club which they never entered into again after what had happened, Phai had fallen asleep in the car on the way back. He wouldn't wake up so Alex brought him inside and let Phai stay the night. His friend was quite the light one, or he was just strong. Alex laid Phai gently on the living room couch and let him sleep there, covering him with a light weight blanket.

His father's new girl had spent the night, her car was parked out side the house when he had pulled up and dare he even think it, they were probably up still having sex . His father was like that. Thats how he dealt with things.

Alex poured himself a glass of water from the faucet and made himself comfortable returning to the living room, sitting on the floor against the couch not wanting to crowd Phai's space. All he wanted to do now was sleep. But he couldn't. So he turned on the tv and ran through the channels almost all night. The teen leaned up and covered his eyes. He started to cry again. Trying hard to hold it in. Maybe thats what he needed, to just release everything on his mind. He knew something was wrong still. Maybe he would never sleep ever again. Maybe death still awaits. His dads situation wasn't helping either. He wanted to put anything in his hands just to crush it.

Phai opened his eyes slowly, finally catching Alex like this. He watched him for almost an hour just losing it then finally shut his eyes.

* * *

><p>When morning came Alex was on the couch still flipping through channels on the TV, stroking Phai's hair whose head was practically in his lap.<p>

Then his cell had rung and vibrated against the coffee table in the middle of the room. The blue eyed teen woke up immediately wiping drool from his mouth and looking up at Alex then glaring cutely over at the phone for disturbing his rest. "What is that?" he deliriously said while wiping the sleep from his eyes.

The blonde apologized to Phai before standing and taking the call into the kitchen. Phai leaned up and sat back on the cushiony couch staring awkwardly at the TV not remembering how he got there.

"Hey mom."

"How are things hun?" she sounded a bit worn not like her usual calculating self.

"You sound tired, are you seriously calling to ask how things are?" Alex opened the fridge just to open it. Another nervous way of handling things.

"Why can't I. I'm your mother I have the right to ask."

"Sorry mom." he closed the fridge.

Alex then looked towards the upstairs and sighed, knowing things weren't good at all, whether she was talking to him specifically or in general. He then moved towards the kitchen window and noticed the girls car still there.

"Things are fine." He lied.

"Last time I talked to you, your father was doing better? How is he?"

He was quiet.

"Hun you there?"

"Yea. He's fine." He finally answered. "Still on leave of absence though. I'm kind of getting tired of seeing him around the house. Wish he would go back to work." Alex didn't mean that. He was just tired of seeing him with his new girlfriend around even though he hadn't known her for more than a couple of hours. Her staying the night was going too far. The more he thought about it the angrier he was getting. He was squeezing his cell almost crushing it before he felt the device heating in his grip. He loosened his fingers surprised at is own anger. He wanted to tell his mother not to worry about anything and that she was the most beautiful lady his father had ever met. That she was a great mom despite what others thought. That he loved her and doesn't want her replaced by another. He just wanting everything to be normal again.

"I was tired of seeing him for the year's we've been married. Join the club." She scoffed but from her voice she still felt something for Phillip.

"Hey mom have you moved on yet. You know like find someone else. Better than dad." Alex spoke softly in the device almost embarrassed to be asking.

"No honey, why do you ask. It's hard to move on from a relationship that lasted for so long. You will understand one day."

He heard movement from upstairs. This was his dad's normal time of waking up. "K mom, look I gotta go, I will talk with you later k?"

"Okay sweets, I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Phillip came down the stairs right when Alex closed the phone. "Did you have a fun night?" he yawned asking his son while stepping into the kitchen in his dark blue pajamas. His hair fucked up.

"Yea." Alex replied half assed.

He heard the TV on in the other room and looked at Alex. "Why are you watching TV this early. Did you sleep at all. You're still in your clothes." he took a carton of orange juice from the fridge and drank from the lid.

"No. I couldn't. A lot is on my mind."

"Cleitus texted me shortly after you got home last night, he says you almost killed a couple of dickheads. Way to go son." Phillip was starting up the coffee maker.

"I'm not happy with that." His son openly replied. "It wasn't as big as he's making it."

"Well you should be happy. I am. I used to think you couldn't even kill a bug."

"It's nice to know I have to be a douche in order to make you proud dad. How about you, did you have a fun night?"

"Yep." Phillip answered directly lighting up a cigarette. He then gave a rude smile to his son. "I did. She's really good in bed." He knew he was going far, but he wanted to see how far his son would go. He already sensed his anger. That much didn't go unnoticed.

He smirked when his son tossed his cellphone at the wall. It breaking into pieces surprisingly damaging the wall.

"Of course you did! Of course you fucking did! You're a little fucker you know that!" Alex yelled slamming his fists onto the counter cracking the tile after knocking everything over the counter top. "Mom says hi by the way. Fucking call her back."

Phai heard this all from the other room. Needless to say he was shocked.

"Here we go again. My own son trying to tell me how to live my life. I feel young again. I really do." Phillip joked. "By the way this mess better be cleaned when I get back downstairs. Oh and make us breakfast. She likes her eggs scrambled. "

"I am being fucking serious! Maybe you should call mom and ask her how she is instead of fucking around with a girl who looks like a twelve year old stripper!"

Phillip grabbed Alex and slammed him against the refrigerator door, the handle stabbing into his back. "You watch your tone with me boy! Don't ever concern yourself with my affairs."

"This is my concern old man. You should have just died in that car. We would have been much happier. God must hate me to keep you alive just so that you can act like the same fuckhead you were before the accident. Go to fucking hell you miserable fuck."

Phillip slammed him again causing things to fall off the top. "Listen here boy, I don't care what you think, you are nothing to me but a little brat and your mother has you still suckling her breast. She's a controlling bitch and you know it."

Alex punched him in the face. Phillip held his side of the face that was now stinging after releasing his son. "Does the girl your banging know that the reason why yours and moms relationship ended was because of you?"

"Me? You little brat it ended because she was a lying cunt." he voiced firmly.

Alex grabbed his dad and shoved him against the sink and swung another hard fist again.

Phai stood up quick thinking maybe he shouldn't be witnessing this. The door was right there, maybe he should leave them in private. Call the police? Then he covered his mouth hearing things breaking and the two fighting, beating each other up in the kitchen. Was this supposed to be happening? He ran over to see what was happening and if he could attempt to stop them, from killing each other.

Every time Alex laid a punch, Phillip only hit his son back harder. Things were all over the floor. Phillip being the bigger man threw Alex to the ground "You will obey me boy!" and stepped over him, wrapping his fingers around Alex's throat and pointing a stern finger in his face. "Stay out of it."

"I don't have to obey you." Alex spit in his face. "Coward."

"Coward?"

"If I ever become like you I will kill myself."

"You don't know anything about me boy."

"And you know nothing about me." Alex yelled his emotions becoming sensitive.

"I guess we're even then."

Everything seemed to calm down. Phillip let Alex go. They both were breathing hard and Alex wiped the blood from his mouth, and Phillip wiped the blood from his nose. "You have a hard punch kid."

"Thanks. You, not so much."

"Whatever. Clean this mess up." Phillip made his coffee, looked at Phai not even telling him sorry that he had to witness that and went back up the stairs. Alex chilled on the ground for a couple of minutes.

Phai stepped over the messy kitchen floor. "Alex?"

The blonde finally stood up looking around at the mess and then Phai who he hoped didn't see any of it.

"Hey." He said to Phai who was just staring, almost frightened.

"Um hi. Are you okay?"

"Yea. I'm fine. It was just a little mix up."

Alex walked over, limping a bit, to where his phone was shattered and regretted letting his feelings get the best of him.

Phai stomped over to the freezer to grab some ice. "Jesus Christ Alex! This isn't normal." Anger was slowly rising in him like the moment just now struck him. "Why do you always insist on lying to me? Stop telling me that everything is all right, when it isn't. I don't believe you anymore, and just to let you know I never have. I'm not stupid Alex, I can see right through you." He packed some ice into a zip lock and handed it to Alex. "Here. Your head is bleeding."

Alex watched attentively at his friend trying to speak through his frustration. Then he felt his head and realized it was bleeding.

"I just want to know what the hell is wrong with you lately. I don't remember you being like this. Have you always been this angry and I just didn't know it?"

Alex smiled sadly. "I'm not angry Phai" he looked right at him. "I'm just sad. "Sorry. You're right I should tell you the truth. About everything. It's not very manly to admit that but there you have it. I hate showing you my feelings afraid of what you might think. and I don't think you need to do that to yourself just knowing them. I can tell you if you really want to know." Alex waited for a confirmed reaction and suddenly Phai looked like he didn't want to hear it but he was still listening.

"I was sick for a long time. When I was born I was restless. Some days I would cry other days I wouldn't make a sound. This happened until I hit the age eight. Then my life started to change more. Like how I felt about myself, how I felt about you. I started remembering my dreams and believing in them, and I became obsessed so I decided that I would follow you. You reminded me of the person in my dreams. Then we met and spoke and I was the happiest kid alive. Then we separated. On my sixteenth birthday I did die so what you heard was true. I can't explain how it felt, but my head got heavy and my eyes were forced shut. The only time I properly slept. I saw only black and I heard the last beat of my heart, then my chest stopped any activity, and the hands of the doctors felt like ghosts taking my life. I felt peace like I was awakening into a new life as a different man. I saw you as a man leaning over me with tears in your eyes and you were asking me to wake up and that I'm King Alexander and I shouldn't leave you or the people behind. It seemed as though fate was heading in the wrong direction, so with no explanation I woke up.

The doctors told me that my case is very rare and that I wouldn't live till fifteen but I knew it was coming. I suffer from sleep-deprivation but instead of getting little rest, I never sleep at all. I have visions that seem like memories and I don't know necessarily of what or why. I asked my doctor and he says it's probably just in my head. After all not sleeping for eighteen years would make one go nuts. But I'm sure I can't sleep because of you."

Phai sat down again his anger slowly getting compressed. His body was covered in Goosebumps. He rubbed his arm with his hand like he was nervous to say anything. He believed it and that's what was scary. He didn't know what all he actually comprehended.

"So yea, that's pretty much it, suffer from headaches, blurry vision, high blood pressure. I told you that you wouldn't want to know. I didn't want to know when I asked the doctors either."

Phai shook his head, still silent. He wasn't at a lost for words just couldn't speak them. What could he say that would make Alex feel any better? He wasn't expecting to hear something like that. He truly wasn't mentally prepared for it. "Is it over then?" he said through choked words. "Are you okay now?"

Alex smiled and nodded slightly. "Yea. I think so. I should have died there."

Alex didn't mention that he had just a recent vision attack. And he still couldn't sleep.

"Alex no, this isn't right. What did the doctor say, are you okay, are you sleeping now?"

He might as well not lie to him. "I'm trying."

"Alex that isn't good enough. Oh my god this is insane. Do your parents know this? Alex, why couldn't you tell me this before. I have never heard of this before."

"I guess that's the reason. You never heard of it and I didn't think you would believe me."

"Why you?"

"I guess I'm the lucky one."

"Alex that doesn't make me feel any better. Have you tried pills?"

"They don't work. I've tried. The doctors fear if I do take them not understanding more about my condition that it would have major side affects and I may never wake up."

"Are you seeing a specialist who actually knows about insomnia?"

"Yes Phai. When I have my visions everything disappears around me and that's all I see. It's weird and my breathing comes distantly still. When I almost drowned that day it was because I had a vision and I can't control myself unless I shut my eyes from it, which I can't do. I stared at you all through out school because every time I looked at you I had a vision.

"What are these visions of?"

"Us. In a different world. It seems like a life I've experienced before. That's why I sought you out to see if you matched the one who I kept seeing in my dreams. And you do. Sometimes I think that's more a reality than here."

"So that's why when I look at you, you stare off into infinity. I don't know what to say Alex."

"You don't have to say anything. Everything is fine now. I've been feeling a lot better."

"No don't tell me that. Something bad always happens. It just does Alex;" Phai seemed frustrated. "It's the way of life. Sure you died and came back but maybe that was just luck. Let's hope for the worst okay. Because maybe something good will come. I don't like this idea of you dying Alex. It makes me upset."

Alex just watched as he ranted knowing that everything he was saying was right. "Phai you shouldn't have to be scared."

"I am. I have every right to be scared." Phai walked slowly up to Alex and wrapped his arms around his waist leaning his head into his chest. "If anything bad happens tell me okay, so that I can help."

"Okay."

That day phai went home and to his room. He sat at the end of his bed, Alex on his mind.

* * *

><p>The next day of school seemed different. Phai knew he was going to hate it.<p>

Everyone in the school probably heard someway or another about Alex. And Phai was already annoyed. Cleitus was so excited about it, he was bragging for Alex up and down the halls of school all day.

Phai was leaning against his locker watching Alex attracting more girls than necessary. He was becoming quickly popular after the news about the club incident. Phai did admit that he was jealous watching all the girls flirt with his Alex. He never thought he would say that. His Alex? Why was he claiming Alex like he was some pet.

Phai folded his arms just watching him with impatience yet interest. It wasn't just this that was bothering him but also what Alex had told him. That same day they sat down and talked about everything.

It was still bothering him and he didn't know why even though Alex seemed better for the most part.

Everyone was so annoying. He remembered back then when Alex was too much of a shy loser to be this swooned over. He has grown a lot, and changed. A lot. He wondered if any of these people would care if they knew Alex's situation.

Alex seemed to just be getting through it. Smiling when he had too and trying not to lead any attention to himself.

He shifted a bit when Alex passed by him in the hall. Alex spotted him and was sharing a nervous boyish smile again something he should have long grown out of since there relationship had gone further, but something still seemed right and nostalgic about it all. Like the first time they actually talked. Phai smiled back and that was it. They didn't stop and talk at all. They just went to there separate classes. Cassy saw the way the pair sought each other out with smiles and inviting glances and he didn't like it. Why he wanted to have something to do with Phai was a question to himself. He couldn't tell if he secretly liked him or if he was just envious of Alex and wanted to hurt him by taking Phai away from him.

Thinking a bit too much about and giving noticeably mean glares he turned back towards his locker once Phai had entered his class and watching Alex enter his own class further down the hall. His green eyes glared with a sulk until he heard the most annoying voice in the world which was Roxanne. Something told him she was there to bitch about something that involved Alex. He mentally prepared himself even though he didn't get much prep time.

"Hey where's Alex."

Cassy rolled his eyes, thinking of ways to give her the truth. "Alex is in class learning like he should be. What matters?"

"I know you and the rest of the guys went out last night to a club. I want to know if what I'm hearing is true."

"So." Cassy wasn't in any mood to react like he gave a shit. "What you're hearing is true."

"I'm not talking about the fight Cassy. I hear people talking about how he and Phai were dancing together. Is that true?" Clear disgust wrenched through her voice.

Cassy didn't answer at first, just steadied his stare at her like it should be obvious by now that the two clearly had feelings for each other.

"Answer me Cassy were they dancing together. That's all I want to know."

Cassy didn't know of anything about that or hear about it. But he did know that Alex took out a man bigger than him just for flirting with Phai. "I don't know. They probably were. What's the problem?" The mean eyed boy had a problem with it himself but wouldn't let Roxanne know that. In fact in his head she wasn't even supposed to be a part of the triangle that he Phai and Alex were a part of. She was just a girl who thought she was in love but little did she know…

"The problem is that I think Alex is cheating on me. Is Alex a freak or something. Does he like Phai?"

And even though he did have a problem with Alex, he still considered him a friend so to defend him was necessary as much as defending himself.

"No the problem is that you are a young little girl who thought Alex had feelings for her in the first place which he didn't at all. Let me correct myself, he does have feelings for you but they are not as strong as you think they are. Alex found something so much more. He isn't cheating on you. You in your arrogant bitchy brain thought you two had something going on. You didn't. You clung onto him but this is not his problem, he didn't have the patience enough to deal with how you would react if he told you, that you weren't worth his time. You put him in chains Roxanne not letting him think for himself, talk for himself or do anything for himself."

Roxanne couldn't speak watching how worked up Cassy was getting. Something was strongly on his mind that much was obvious and he was taking it out on her. "You need to give up on him Roxanne. He has a new bitch. Chasing somebody who doesn't give an ounce of shit about you, sucks. Unless you like the pain, feel free."

"Alex and I have known each other forever."

"I don't think so. You see if you watch him very carefully I get the feeling he's known Phai a lot longer than any of us. He doesn't love you Roxanne, never has and never will. You have no chance with him."

"I don't believe you." Her easy feelings were getting hurt and that's exactly what Cassy wanted.

His tone was menacing like a true villain. "Give it up. Do you want to find it out the hard way then? You should be thanking me for telling you something Alex doesn't have the guts to tell you himself. You've always been jealous of any relationship he's been in. Guess what, I've seen them kiss before and they enjoyed it alot. Phai had his tongue deep in his mouth and it makes me wonder what more they've done. Whens the last time Alex has ever kissed you. Or touched you. Have a nice rest of your day." He slammed his locker and took off down the hall.

Roxanne was shocked, her eyes getting watery. When the classes got over she saw Phai take off down the hall. She glared at him with more than hate.

* * *

><p>He had searched in the wide lands of India, with rain falling heavy now. He searched for hours and then his ears fell upon the sound of horses and men retreating towards him. The mist vanished beneath at the ground once the sodleirs halted before him. He noticed the leading man as Craterus.<p>

"Craterus." he was actually happy to see him, hoping he had some good news.

"Hephaistion." On the other hand the bigger general was shocked to see Hephaistion out like this in the weather. He looked disastrous.

"Where's Alexander. Did you find him?" He was looking around for his lover in the crowd of tired men and horses.

He immediately caught the mighty generals expression as well as the majority along with him and held back his excitement. "You didn't find him?"

The general shook his head and sighed to the other men telling them to head back and rest. Hephaistion looked confused his eyes blinking not knowing what to think. "Well we have to keep looking. How far did you look?"

"Hephaistion not in this weather not at this time."

The young general looked disappointed in all the soldiers heading in the direction he was leaving from, retrieving back to the quarters.

"Hephaistion believe us we've looked for hours without rest. In this weather it's far too dangerous to keep looking." Craterus tried reasoning. "He's my friend to but we may have to accept the fact that he's gone from us."

Craterus was grabbed from his horse and tossed on the muddy ground of the jungle, Hephaistion toppling over him and punching at his jaw. "Don't say that!" he yelled.

Craterus kept his calm, the general had every right to be angry. "Hephaistion listen to me, let us rest the night. It's smarter to send a party when the sun is on our side."

"Alexander doesn't have that long. He's out there now, we can find him if we search better."

"You don't think were trying our best. It will be impossible to find him like this."

"He would search for any of you in weather far worse than this, you bastards. In the ned when I bring him back, you all should rethink calling him friend and king again. The truth is he's done more for you than he's done for himself."

Hephaistion removed himself from ontop of the bigger general and took off further with his horse.

"Hephaistion!" Craterus called. "Don't be a fool."

The brunette general remembered Alexander's question to him when they were kids that if he ever got lost would he find him? The answer was yes. Would he stop? No, no he wouldn't.


	21. Chapter 21

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty **

**/**

**India, days continued...**

Things were getting stirred up in the land now without a king. The men were becoming troubled and unorganized. It was only normal to behave like the way they were. They were pretty much left in India without their main guide, just clueless. They did not know what to do or how to rule themselves without Alexander there with them giving them hope, not like he was much help to them either, in his coma. They couldn't be blamed for being dissapointed in this unfair circumstance, mostly because their entire lives they were dependent on someone else to rule them and they were just sheep following the rest of the herd. It reminded them of Alexander's comment to them a long time ago, when they were about to ditch him in India and head without him back to Babylon, it suddenly making sense, him telling them that he was a lion leading an army of sheep. It wasn't arrogant as much as it was true and they were coming to realize that.

It made sense with the whole quote. They were indeed stronger being led by a leader who knew how to rule, lead, and build. Would they have all that they have if Alexander hadn't been the lion leading them to it? Probably not.

Even the generals were undecided about what there next step should be and completely frantic. The king was still missing and it's been days. Hephaistion was still gone to go after the missing king and it's been days. Cassander and a few others were trying to convince the men that they should leave without Alexander and that became a day debate which didn't work out to well. With enough discussion and rebellion, the generals shared their second thoughts but Cassander was the one not feeling any guilt about his proposal and it was getting harder and harder to reason with him.

After Craterus came back to camp with the news that he had spotted Hephaistion along the way, the generals knew it would be cruel to just take off leaving them both behind. There were enough men against it and some more than others willing to keep searching and this kept them from deserting the mysterious dangerous land sooner.

That was one of the many men's concerns about this unpredictability that seems to follow in the kings path. They were stranded in the wild, left behind. There were dangerous animals that they've never even heard of, not to mention many of the men have died instantly from the snake bites. So what would happen if they linger there much longer? Anything could happen and one of Cassander's concerns was if the intruders who kidnapped the king were to return. The idea of hanging around was stupid he felt.

There were many conspiracies boasting among the people. Some thought the king woke up from his coma and abandoned them to go learn and stay with the Indians. It wasn't an odd assumption considering Alexander found different cultures very interesting and would probably leave to learn more about them. After all there was nothing better to the king than being loved and accepted by all… but would he have left his men in danger just for that? The other conspiracy was that the king set it up to make it seem like the gods were behind his resurrection from his sickly nap and that his purpose was to create a myth and story for himself. He did talk about how big he wanted to be remembered and what he wanted to be remembered for…but is this how he wanted his time as king respected? And would he really leave Hephaistion, his best friend, behind in agony and abandon him while he flocked off into his own journey and selfish fantasy? It was blunt but healthy to assume that Hephaistion was his selfish fantasy and leaving him was probably not likely.

And some simply thought he was taken by an enemy, which was safe to assume considering the footprints leading to his tent and the blood from the dead guards or maybe even Alexander himself, but there was still no word.

Cassander was sitting at a desk with candles lit around him while he was thinking. The only other thing he was aware of was the winds outside and the warm light brightening up his pale face. He was just getting dry from after his meeting with Craterus before sending him off to go watch the queen at her quarters.

It wasn't like the men would allow him to lead them anyway but he decided not to leave until the king or either Hephaistion were found. The men of course agreed and Ptolemy when learned about the change in plans was seriously relieved. Craterus was also opposed to insulting the king by leaving mainly because Alexander he could call best friend. It was hard to think Alexander who is normally unstoppable was dead somewhere in an unfamiliar land he had not yet conquered accordingly and that Hephaistion could be right behind him. Craterus seemed to fail at making it clear to Hephaistion that the land was bigger than them and there was no way he would find Alexander solo, but the stubborn general refused to listen and took off anyway. The other generals seemed to lose hope that there might not be any turning back for either of them but they waited in despair anyway.

It disgusted the mean eyed general how much agreeing to stay put in position which Alexander would have wanted them to stay in anyway, made it seem like he cared about Hephaistion's and Alexander's current situation. For all he cared they could rot in the likes of the muddy dirty land. It wasn't like he had any feelings for either of them anyway or was turning soft on everyone, but he was reminded by the other generals who were most loyal to the king that Alexander would have never left him behind or any of his men, even the ones who seem to have little purpose in his army. And even though they were sitting ducks, there wasn't much to look forward too anyway. They've been away from home for so long and Alexander had already dragged them around the entire earth, so going home was just as pointless as dreaming about going home. Home was everywhere to the king and sadly India was going to be another place they could call a place to stay.

As he sat strictly focused, in his head he wants to let them both, the king and his lover, suffer in pointless love and that the lucky bastard of a king should die for what he did to Cleitus, Parmenion and Philotas, his own friends and also for not letting his men who were tired of the travels and battles, turn back to Macedon and to their families. But his heart wants them to return back safely because if he were lost, he would want someone to do what Alexander and Hephaistion would do for each other. The reason why he was being so hateful was obvious. He didn't have that special someone.

Cassander wasn't completely heartless and even if he played the part, it was all just a barricade securing his true feelings. But one thing was certain about the mean eyed general. He was jealous and his jealousy came in many different tones and appearances. Some loud, some silent.

He's known Alexander for a long time and he still couldn't figure out if the king was just a lucky bastard or just a gifted son of a bitch. Maybe he was born with a gift of luck. It made sense involving a son of a god but it didn't matter because Alexander already had it all and he wasn't even close to being at his peak. He was such a massive figure in everyone's life it was hard not to recognize what he had. Talented. Hard working. Generous. Charismatic. Brave. Determined. Smart. Out of the ordinary...No one in their right mind would deny any of this. The king was definitely a strong spirited personality, the most vibrant energy anyone has ever witnessed and he might as well not be a real human at all because he was so obviously above everyone else. It's not that it was his intention but it was existent nonetheless and that was a problem for Cassander and many others, even though Cassander made it most applicable.

The green eyed general knew Alexander had a great heart, as big as the heart of the earth but he also felt Alexander's heart was misplaced sometime down the road with something called fame and misguided glory. He felt he was a greedy, lucky drunkard who conquered for the sake of conquering and for no real purpose other than glory and for himself while dragging his father's men along with him not caring about how they felt or their desires. The glory part was true. The fame part definitely true. The other parts were still trying to be figured out by the rest of the world. Alexander was probably still trying to figure it out himself, but Cassander did know that there was only one person who had already figured the king out and this was the event that began his expressed hatred of the beauty Hephaistion.

He looked back on the time when they were of very young ages when he had asked Hephaistion in private why he found Alexander so attractive... but before he could remember the answer and dig further into concentration, the general was interrupted from his thoughts when Ptolemy strolled into the tent quietly, pushing the flap out of his way. The general was soaking from the horrible storms that India had been bestowing upon them lately.

They've been there for awhile, since before the battle and many weeks after, so they were already familiar with the wet weather, but it was turning unusual and Ptolemy wondered if this was a sign of anger from the gods or just normal weather for India and they were just still further naïve about the land. This would have been the perfect time to assume Alexander was blessed by the mighty heavens, because the rains being this heavy only started after he was taken and haven't forgiven anyone yet. Besides they probably have never seen as much lightning and water before in their lives. It was storming like Poseidon had brought his oceans to the mainland and Zeus perhaps was showing his wrath for his missing son.

"Anyone confess to it yet?"

"Not one." The curled haired general was tired, eyes heavy while wiping the water from his face. "It's becoming useless. No ones going to confess. Not now."

Cassander sighed and sat back. "If someone pulled the slightest attempt on the king there is not telling that this army could also very well be in danger. This is why we should leave these lands."

Ptolemy felt saddened that sooner or later they might not have a choice but to, and nodded slightly. "I agree, but you know the men won't. They'll lose even more hope."

"Hope was lost in the men a long time ago Ptolemy." Cassander answered with an amount of no interest and went back to his restless state.

Ptolemy frowned. "Well I will not continue to punish these people, Alexander's own fucking men and for what?"

"What would you rather do Ptolemy?" Cassander replied angrily. "Sit around waiting for his return like fucking mindless apes. Maybe someone knows and maybe that person will tell. Or maybe this is the best time to pray to the gods we believe in so much for his safe return then? But it's Alexander. I'm sure he's being well looked after." His comment was supposed to be intentionally sarcastic but he didn't even need to try to get the point across to the older general. He already knew where Cassander stood when it came to Alexander.

"You know I care for Alexander but punishing the men for something we don't know they've committed is wrong. I say we divide the men, some go searching, some stay here incase anything is to happen."

"We've already searched. And you're going to stand there and tell me what's right and wrong?! Because let me remind you, that king of yours killed Parmenion and Philotas. There were no such conspiracies leading to them but he ordered them dead anyway!" Cassander turned furious unexpectedly.

"I knew you would bring that up." Ptolemy shook his head trying to hold off a laugh that disagreed. "It was a threat against his life. There didn't even need to be evidence of a conspiracy because it was right there before his fucking eyes. Poison right in his face."

Cassander stood yelling his eyes drowned in ferocity. "Threat? It was no threat. His mind was filled with poisonous snakes and strong wine and turned everyone who ever protected him into enemies than friends. So tell me am I wrong about how I feel Ptolemy? I've never mourned in my life until Alexander became our king. Is what he did not wrong or is Alexander just this magnificent being we should all fall to our knees for!? He disgraces the gods and you people bow before him."

Ptolemy glared in shock at his ill advised friend. "Would you listen to this absurdity of what you spout. Alexander was not the same Alexander we've known Cassander and you know that. We're not even the same anymore."

"I wonder why." Cassander spat. "Alexander has been obsessed and distant of his men, and more alert of his life.."

"As he should be." Ptolemy interrupted. "He has every reason and right. You and I both know Philotas planned Alexander's death."

"It's a lie." The younger general was quick to deny.

"We were there, all of us, while Parmenion and he plotted ideas against him. They told us how they felt after Guagamela and we didn't say anything because we respected their opinion as friends and companions Cassander. How is what I say a lie when it was before us every day when we were pushed more and more away by the king. We were all feeling the same way about Alexander. Even I, thought he would be best off dead, not because I hated him but because I felt he was destroying himself and that he would be disappointed after seeing what he became. I couldn't watch Alexander look at himself as a failure when all he ever wanted to do was succeed. He saw the hate we had for him. He ignored it at first. We were stupid to let it get that far and I warned all of you about Alexander's temper. Even if Alexander didn't find them suspicious, the fact of the matter is we were betraying him the minute we stepped foot out of Babylon." Ptolemy walked up closer to the silenced Cassander who was glaring now. "What I don't like is how you can pass so much judgment on Alexander's faults as king when he doesn't even care to recognize your faults at all. He is not a bad man Cassander. What he did to his friends was unforgivable but he knows that and he hates himself for what he had to do. We don't have it hard at all. He does because he has to live with that. We hardly shed any tears after the assassinations were ordered. Do you remember that? Alexander shed so many that he was trying to hurt himself and drown himself in self pity hoping he'd either die or fall asleep. So don't pretend you really cared about the others."

Cassander scoffed head strongly. "They were our friends, people we worked with all our lives. I don't have to shed a tear to show that I care."

"You're showing that most graciously. I remember you smirking when the spear flung through Philotas's stomach."

"It doesn't matter how I feel about Philotas but again we worked side by side at times and I had to respect him. But a king is a king and his people should come first and just because they were planning to kill Alexander ahead of that time doesn't mean they gave him the poison in his cup that time. That could have been anyone. Where would they have found the poison in a land they are not familiar with? I doubt they brought it from home and keep it hidden that well."

"It doesn't matter where they got it. What matters is that the ones who gave him the cup pointed to Philotas as their plot leader. You would have done the same thing if you felt the people you had working for you were actually working against you. Unfortunately for them it worked in Alexander's favor. And you need to remember who killed Phillip, someone very close to him. So don't expect him to favor his friends who can't even keep loyal to him."

The mean eyed general stared General Ptolemy in the eyes. "Okay so we're not all fans of what Alexander's become." He finally went out and admitted.

"You were never a fan of him."

"Well I pity those who are."

"Why do you want to be king so bad?"

"I don't want to be king. I just don't want Alexander to be king." He said clearly making no mistake about it. "And you're right, I was never a fan of Alexander and the same could be said for him. That he was never a fan of me."

They looked at each other for awhile, with Cassander looking away first sitting back down and Ptolemy stayed put sadly dissapointed at the generals ignorance. He sighed seeing a distant sadness behind Cassander's eyes. He obviously wanted to be left alone but he also wanted him to understand.

"What's he done to you?" The curled haired man asked before getting ready to leave.

"You mean what he hasn't done." Cassander retorted quickly his eyes burning up like the flames around him.

Ptolemy just sulked and left the tent quickly, not surprised knowing all this time Cassander was envious of the fiery haired god who would be king of the world. Cassander spoke the truth though. He didn't care about being king at all. He just cared about being greater than Alexander and having everything Alexander had and more. To have it all…

Including Hephaistion.

* * *

><p><em>Three months swept by us quickly as if time meant nothing and after I told Phai about my problem, we grew closer, yet apart, but giving ourselves to each other more than before. We were closer because we could be. Mostly in mind and soul. In physical contact we were still close, still neighbors, still friends, still in love, but reality didn't give us the time to each other that let's say... a normal couple, a girl and guy would have. It was harder because one, after I told Phai about my issue, he wanted to help out as much as he could and stupid me I kept pushing him away because I felt a mix of pride and a mix of guilt. Hard guilt. Bad guilt, because if I let him help me and if I ended up dying anyway, that would hurt him. I would die and leave him with nothing. What kind of lover would I be if I gave him hope where there was none. I didn't think these were bad reasons and at the time I didn't realize I was even doing it but they were reasons he didn't understand or I couldn't explain well enough. That wasn't the only issue between us. It was also hard for us because we still didn't make anything official between us yet. We never claimed to be boyfriends. We never claimed anything. We just were. No one had really figured out what was happening between us as far as I knew and that's one of the main reasons we did keep our distance, incase they were to figure us out, something Phai didn't want for some reason but something I didn't care to exploit if he was okay with it. <em>

_So I was pushing him away in fear of his future and he was pushing me away in fear of my future. So it kind of worked both ways. _

_Aside from that there were changes and some things that stayed the same concerning everyone's personal lives. _

_Starting with me, my parents were still split up. My dad was still a complete asshole. Almost everyday now he would kick me out a lot because he needed time with his new girlfriend, Euri. They seemed pretty serious as far as their relationship was going which only made my situation all that much harder. I hated her simply because she was annoying and she wasn't mom. Speaking of my mother, he hadn't called her or mentioned her once to me and I knew they were over with permanently and that they would never get back together and hoping for that made me a fucking stupid child. I still don't know why I thought that was ever possible. Maybe because I looked at Phai's relationship with his happily married parents and realized that's what I need because once you get to know me further and o__ne thing I discovered in those three months is that I feared my dad that one day I would become exactly like him._

_And later on I do. And you'll hate me for it. Phai did. _

_But as far as now goes I sharpened up a whole lot. I was doing so well in school I might have not even been the shy boy I once was. I was still going to the gym constantly. My charm turned on the ladies and freshmen girls even more. What can I say I was good looking. Been told that by my mother since I was in first grade. I didn't believe it then but now I do because Phai has a say in it now but I was probably more popular than I should have been and Phai hated it. He wasn't shy about telling me but I liked it because I never felt it before, never felt what it wa slike to be liked by all, so I encouraged it. My naive mind didn't know it was bad but I never felt so good in my life. Phai warned me plenty of times that it would bite me in the ass. He even hated that I joined the football team after my transfer because Cassy and I were like a ticking competing time bomb. Yes I got overconfident with myself. Proud. Hotheaded. But who wouldn't when you were liked by all. Who wouldn't when you have little time on the earth? How could I not when that is what I was destined to be. A king._

/

_**I think the men deny my chance to be their ruler. How do you think I am as a king?**_

_The blonde man follows his lover around the Persian halls to pest him about little things. _

_**I think you worry too much. **The general calmly strolls ahead of him._

**_Maybe I should make it a law that says as long as you're under my command you should let me know how I am as king_.**

_**I didn't think you were this insecure Alexander. They would lie to you in fear of your response to what they feel or think.**_

_**Why is that? **The king asks dumbly._

_The brunette thinks it's ridiculous, insane and gorgeous that he has to ask that question. They reach the king's quarters and his general closes the door and presses his lips against the kings in a loving kiss. The king is shocked and the brunette stares at him. _

_**Because Alexander although I think you're a wonderful king, I also think you're ruthless at times, reckless and stupid most of the time, childish when you're not getting your way and you deserve a long spanking for some of your behavior. Some people just don't understand you the way I do and that can be scary for me, and scary for them. People are afraid of things they don't understand. **_

_**Well why am I stupid? **_

_**I call you stupid because you don't seem to let it bother you when it really matters. You care too much about what people think of you rather than what you should concentrate on. **_

_**Are you saying I'm in danger and that I don't know my own people? **He grins stupidly and shoves his lover to the bed. _

_Phai smiles and lets the blonde place his body on top of his.** Alexander you know you're in danger all the time just for being king. I shouldn't have to explain that to you. **_

_**Am I in danger right now? **He starts to lay smooches on his lover's cheek and neck making him laugh. _

_**Alexander this is exactly what I mean by childish and reckless. **The brunette lets out a sounded purr when the king's teeth start nibbling at his ear. **Stop Alexander.** He means it but doesn't mean it at all. _

_**Why? Am I being too reckless? Do you feel like you're in danger**? He says sexily in his sexual attempt. His rough fingers curl strands of his lovers hair. _

_The general grabs the sheets when the king slips his wet lips down his exposed stomach and to his hips. **At the moment you're just being childish.** **What if someone was sneaking up behind you with a blade? You wouldn't know. **_

_The king stops from moving further down and looks up at seriously driven blue eyes. He sighs grunting under his breath. The king removes from his friend's body turning away from his lover and sits looking straight ahead. ** I know how to take care of myself. I'm perfectly capable of it. Why are you talking to me like I don't know what I'm doing? **_

_**Because I'm your fucking bodyguard young man. **The general leans up and places a sweet kiss on the king's shoulder. **How can I do my job if you don't let me? I understand that you can take care of yourself; any grown adult can say that. I can say that but it's also not true. You push the people closest to you away when you become reckless because you think you can handle the danger and it thrills you to think that you can overcome everything by yourself. You can't do everything by yourself that's just madness. You can't assume either that all the people you rule like you, even your dearest friends and family. One day you will not even know the difference between an enemy and friend because your life will be at risk constantly. But I want you to know that I will never betray you Alexander even if it meant that you didn't love me anymore. I know your heart. It's young, brave and naïve but it's beating strong like the battles you've fought are rampaging over and over again. Your heart is so fierce, so brilliant and passionate that I naturally feel empty and hollow in your presence. Your men think you rule by fault but you lead by desire and might and that's something no one will ever understand but me. ****You are a man with a head full of dreams and ambition. You are a very flawed character always fighting your demons and everyone else around who threaten your success. The only other thing that makes you happy in this world is me. People hate you for it, but I am grateful. Therefore I love you. No matter what anyone says about you my king and love and no matter how far you drift into fantasy, wanting your dreams to rescue you instead of the person who has been saving you since day one, remember that your flaws will always be more fascinating than your perfections. And as much as you want to be my ruler and king, you will always just be my Alexander.**_

_**So in other words you don't like me as king as much as you like the Alexander who had no future?**_

_The general just smiles. **You're so cute when you're clueless. You've always had the future as king. I loved you when you were Alexander who thought so little of himself and had no future because I had you all to myself. **Then he hugs his king preciously even if the king won't return it back. _

_**That's selfish Phai. **The blonde king remains pouty as he overthinks his position._

_**If you think that's selfish, I even prayed that you wouldn't become king because I would be lost forever after loosing you to the world you seem to love more than anything. **He gives the blonde man one last kiss._

_**Why do you think that I love the world that much? **The king asks as his lover slides off the bed and heads for the door going back to duties. _

_**Figure it out love. **_

_**Wait come back to me. **_

_**Why? You've assigned me work that has a deadline Alexander. It can't be late. **_

_**I want you to stay because you always think I leave you in the dark. I don't want to be a bad king especially not to you. I made you mad and I want to make it up to you. So if I desert you it's just to make you see that you could be free from me. I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you down from doing things that you can't do or won't do just because your with me. I want you to realize that this isn't the only option. You can go further than this, you can go further than me, if it's what you wish but you know I**__** want you Hephaistion and I'm frustrated because there is an end to the world but there is no end to you so I feel that I can't completely have you. The world I know I can have. But I'm not sure with you. Every time I see you I want more but I don't know how much I can take. I seem to be limited but you seem limitless. You're everything that I want and I can only meet you half way. The world doesn't stand a chance. **Innocence and discomfort drifts into the kings indifferent eyes._

_The blue eyed man thinks he makes less sense than a sentence not even completed. He then walks back towards his king and he takes his lover and drowns him in a stronger kiss than before. Proving his love and desire for only him. **You're insane if you think that I would want to go further than you. You're so stupid Alexander. **__**I only love you. **_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cassy nudged him. "You okay Alex?"

Life came back into Alex and he looked at Cassy and blinked. "Yea I'm fine." He almost forgot where he was and started to look around to confirm the location.

"Dude are you sure? I was talking to you and you just blanked."

"Sorry. I just, I haven't been feeling well. What were you saying?"

Cassy knew there was some truth in that but he also knew Alex always spaced out. But he never would have suggested a bigger problem, even though spacing out when it meant not hearing a thing, not at all in contact with reality, absolutely absent from time, and taking long needed breaths just to react again wasn't normal at all. But his friend decided not to point it out and would stick to 'Alex is just weird like that'. "I was saying that Phai hasn't come out yet. Maybe we should go knock on his door."

"I'm sure he's just changing out of his work clothes. The movie doesn't start for an hour and a half anyway."

"Whatever you say. We'll wait." Cassy whipped out a cigarette and leaned against Alex's car.

_We were all still friends. __The only change that happened between us was seeing each other less, because we were working our part time jobs. Callista and Leon were sort of dating finally. Tolem was talking about giving Thais a promise ring. Phai and I hung out all the time but did nothing intimately. Phai's dad had been trying to get to know my dad more even though my dad didn't want to. Mother called me everyday. Phai's mom baked me cookies everyday and Cassy was always eyeing Phai everyday. Cassy and I were talking like we used too, kind of leaving the little tension behind but still battling silently over Phai. __Crater and Phil and Cassy had gotten used to Phai but that didn't mean they didn't pick on him. They still did but his tolerance grew. However is tolerance with Roxanne hadn't. _

Phai was watching Cassy and Alex from his room window talking outside while Callista was searching through his closet for nice clothes for him to wear. Then to make his day worse he saw Roxanne arrive. If he had a smile on his face it would have died quick. "Damnit." He didn't know she was going with them.

She spotted Alex with snaky eyes. She was dressy, no doubt trying to look her best for Alex. Phai suddenly felt uncomfortable. Cassy was okay for the time being, but Roxanne he couldn't fucking stand.

"What about this?" Callista threw a plain grey t shirt on his bed. "It's boring just like you."

When he saw Roxanne touching Alex is when he left the window and sat on his bed. "I don't want to go anymore." He just decided out of the blue. He picked up the shirt and tossed it back at his sister. "Put it back."

The sight of Cassy and Alex together made him want to set a house on fire. But the sight of Roxanne and Alex together made him want to set his own house on fire.

_Yes, Roxanne was still around and at the time I didn't know what her problem was with Phai but she made it abundantly clear that she hated him and till this day she never gave me the reason why she did. This is why it's hard to reason with her and even talk to her. She just wouldn't have the heart to try to understand. In some ways it was my fault. I simply let it go which might have been the worst decision I've ever made. _

_Phai was jealous of Roxanne taking me away from him, which Cassy wanted because it gave him the chance to be near Phai. I was jealous of Cassy taking Phai from me which he also wanted because of his hidden but apparent dislike for me. So in conclusion, he wins either way. _

* * *

><p>Cassander started to place his hand over the burning oil lamp just watching how the fire and light reacted off his skin. He suddenly remembered the answer Hephaistion gave him, and when his palm felt the fire hitting his skin he moved his hand away.<p>

"_You wouldn't understand Cassander."_

His memories couldn't have been any clearer than ice. He was never able to get them out of his mind or let them go. Maybe because it was a feeling getting rejected by the brunette blue eyed god that all the boys fantasized about but teased him because of it. And maybe because it was the first time Hephaistion ever told him what he felt about him and finally realized why he envied Alexander for all these years.

"_You like what he has? He makes you popular and you enjoy all the attention he gives you because he's the prince. Why else would you be with him?"_

"_Like I said, you wouldn't understand Cassander because you already have this idea behind the reason why I enjoy the prince' time and attention. I have not slept with him by the way so it couldn't be the pleasures of sex I enjoy about him. It can't be because he makes me popular because I am still a shadow in his light and an outcast by the rest of the people surrounding his life who are close to him. It can't be that I like what he has because I do not have what he has nor do I deserve what he has. But I will tell you why I enjoy him. Because I've never met a person with such a beautiful mind and dream. I've never met anyone who gave as much away, throwing bigger things away like gold but keeping simpler tiny things like a rock. His idea of himself and life around him is so complex it becomes easy to understand him after time. He has flaws like any of us yet we hate him because of it but he never reminds us of our flaws. Instead he embraces every man, every imperfection about what makes us human, even those he's not fond of. And he trusts me enough to let me know what he hates and likes about himself and what he likes and hates about me but only lets the mortal amplify it. That to me is beautiful Cassander. If you don't like that answer too bad. Everyone is their own person. The problem with you is that you want to be too much like Alexander and you dismiss your own beauty that makes you, you. So don't hurt Alexander by hating him because you envy what he possesses. He doesn't deserve that and you shouldn't do that to yourself either. You can never be an Alexander but you can always be a Cassander…"_

"The queen wishes to talk with you."

Cassander looked slowly over near the entry to see Craterus standing there. "About what?"

The bigger general shrugged. "She didn't say."

* * *

><p><strong>Here is the update. Sorry to keep you waiting. (Sick of my apologies? Yep, I know) <strong>

**Thanks for the concern and wonderful message violetsuki :) Also Lysis I don't think I got around to you but it's always a pleasure to hear from you! and for everyone else thanks for reading. I'll try to keep up this time because you guys are way ahead of me.- Stranger**


	22. Chapter 22

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty One**

**/**

"Well make up your mind because they're waiting. So how about this?" Callista ended up pulling something that was just a bit nicer.

"Pick whatever you want because I'm not going."

Callista had grown to be a beautiful young lady. Her hair was now a richer brown and while her cheeks were less chubbier, it was evident now that she had both her mother and fathers genes. Her beauty was as natural as Phai's but Callista compared to her more restrained brother was still a major goofball which didn't get her many friends in school. Phai on the other hand could be popular if he wanted too. He had the looks and an inner charisma he didn't like to show because he wasn't that kind of person, but he didn't like people in that crowd all too much. Callista was just a weird mixture of pretty, funny and odd and she was teased for being that way, so her social life was alot like Phai's. She hung out with mostly him and the little friends he had.

Phai moaned under his breath when she came out with a bunch of clothes on hangers and tossed it on his bed. "I didn't mean literally Callista!"

She didn't care. "Oh my god you have so many clothes that you don't wear. Pick something brother." Going through his clothes was like going shopping on black friday.

"Put all of this stuff back where you found it." He rebuked.

"But you have to go." His sister said ignoring his banter about the clothes.

"I don't have to go. They're not my friends. They're Alex's friends." He corrected.

She stopped trying to pick out his outfit and turned to her grumpy ass brother. "Have you told Alex you don't like his friends?"

"I'm sure he knows." Phai leaned up and took a magazine from his desk and started to flip through it while sitting back on his pillows.

Callista leaped onto the bed next to him. "What's wrong with you lately brother?"

"Nothing. Go away." He answered trying to push her off of him while she hugged the hell out of him. "Callista!" he whined.

Callista gave him a loving sisterly kiss on the cheek. "Please brother. You can tell me what's up." She attempted maybe hoping for a friendly conversation with her only brother.

He turned and looked at her after wiping her kiss from his cheek. "What do you think is the problem?"

"I dunno. That's why I'm asking." She smiled brightly then stole the magazine from his hand while scooting off the bed. "But if I didn't know better something's clearly wrong. You've been calling me meaner names than usual and you just been acting weirder and quieter. Mom and dad noticed too."

"Well there's nothing to be concerned about. Can I have my magazine back?"

Callista sat on his desk looking through his music magazine finally understanding why she never read them. They were boring. She threw it back to him and started swinging her feet. "They're going to think it's weird that you would rather be home than hanging out with Alex. I also think that's weird. Really weird. It's like the weirdest thing that's ever happened."

He shot her the meanest glance. "Why do you guys mention Alex all the time around me? You're more obsessed with him than I am."

"He is just very likable. We can't help it." She admitted.

Phai didn't deny it. "Whatever. Leave." He threw magazine back at her.

Then they heard the door bell ring and Phai and Callista quickly looked at each other. "Oh shit." Phai said. "They're in the house. Callista quick, go kick them out." He jumped off his bed and shoved his little sister to the door. "Tell them I'm sick."

"Uh," She was confused as she stopped right before the entrance. "They saw you today at school. You were just fine." She thought she'd mention.

"People can get sick at the last minute. Now go." Before he could slam the door shut on his mildly confused sister his father walked in pushing back open the door. Phai grunted and Amyntor looked at him clearly impatient with his son.

"Phai they are waiting for you. If you don't want to go with them, don't make them stand there. Just tell them you don't want to go."

Phai just looked at him stonefaced like that was the most illogical thing to do. "Why did you invite them in?"

Amyntor rose an eyebrow trying to figure out how his son made everything seem like it was his fault. "I didn't invite them in. They're outside still."

"But the door bell rung."

"That was the mailman dropping off a package for your mother. What's wrong with you. I thought you wanted to go out tonight?"

"Thank god." Phai sighed in relief. "Whatever you do don't tell them I'm here..." He started to think for a bit. "Oh you know what dad, just stick with the sick story. They'll believe you."

"Get your ass dressed. I'm not lying to your friends for you. Here's your money for the movies now get the hell out the house."

Phai snatched the money and folded his arms. He looked up at his father with pouty eyes. Amyntor smiled at his sons stubborness. "What?"

"Roxanne is out there."

"What's the problem with Roxanne?" His father shrugged not really knowing anything about the girl but not hearing much about her either.

"She's a complete bitch!"

Amyntor wasn't expecting both Callista and Phai to answer him at the same time. It kind of knocked him off guard and he almost forgot Callista was still there."Woah guys watch the language you know your mother doesn't like it in the house, and Callista go away."

"Fine." Callista went off towards her own room. "Phai tell Leon I said Hi!" She yelled before they heard her bedroom door close.

After that was over, Amyntor crossed his arms and stared hard at his son. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I just don't like Roxanne. She's the devil dad." Phai added thinking calling Roxanne a bitch wasn't a strong enough a word.

"Phai?" He reprimanded him with his eyes and stern voice. "Don't let her bother you. Just go and have a good time with your friends. Okay?"

He noticed his son looked nervous. After deciding not to argue with his dad anymore Phai barely nodded. "Okay."

"Good." Amyntor smiled sweetly and left him alone. "I'll go let them know you'll be right down."

"Yea."

Phai sat heavily on his bed and ran his hands through his hair sighing after his dad left. He could already tell the night was going to be bad. He then dropped his hands back into his lap and looked at the clothes his sister left on his bed for him.

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He got dressed in whatever it was his sister picked and walked out the front door looking less excited than when he was inside. He became even more uneasy when both Cassy and Alex were looking his way.

"Took long enough Mr. I like to waste a whole lot of time? What were you doing, looking at yourself in the mirror?" Cassy teased when he saw him, lifting his sunglasses to get a better look at him. It wasn't surprising that Cassy was the first to say something.

"Don't talk to me Cassy." Phai snapped.

Cassy laughed. "My bad. Pretty boy can't take a joke?"

"You okay?" Alex asked noticing Phai looking like he wasn't up for being socially present.

"I'm fine, just not feeling too well." Phai lied not even trying to hide the fact that he did.

Alex blinked at him a little surprised by his attitude. "Okay."

"You were fine at school." Cassy said blowing his cover and knowing damn well the reason for Phai's excuse.

"You would know wouldn't you stalker?" Phai responded stronger than he'd usually would.

"You should be lucky to have me as a stalker." Cassy only took Phai's intentional hateful manner as a compliment.

Alex didn't know what was going on between those two aside from just bickering. All he knew was that he didn't like it.

"Let's just go. I hate arriving to movies late." Roxanne rolled her eyes and slipped into the back seat of Alex's car. For once Alex agreed with her.

"Hold up." Cassy stopped Phai from getting in the front seat. "I called shotgun already. Alex and I need to catch up on some things. Maybe you and uh, Roxanne can catch up on other stuff."

Alex just went around to the drivers side of the vehicle not saying anything even though Cassy being that close to Phai was pissing him off.

"You know how I feel about her." Phai said to Cassy firmly almost begging for him not to do this to him.

"Exactly." Cassy grinned widely. "Maybe you two can work things out."

Alex was already in an irritated mood and it didn't help that Phai didn't want to be there and that Cassy was already flirting. "Let's go." he said.

"Have fun." Cassy winked at Phai and got into the car. Phai and Alex stole a quick glance. Phai noticed the questioning eyes of the blonde and hesitantly got in the back seat with Roxanne.

It was the most uncomfortable ride ever. Well for him. Roxanne kept giving him snobby glares while Cassy and Alex were talking about things, and the whole time, Phai was there trying to zone all of them out. When they arrived he thanked god it was over. This was their first time all being in a group together for awhile. Crater, Tolem, Leon, Perdicas, Phil joined them at the theater a couple of minutes later after Alex showed up. The only ones who couldn't make it was Cleitus and Thais. Thais was in her late drama class and Cleitus was touring out of state at different clubs and events.

They all stepped out of the car and Alex came up next to Phai when Cassy and Roxanne went ahead, trying his best not to touch him in anyway that could go noticed.

"I'm getting this strange feeling you don't want to be here." The blonde asked. "Is something up?"

Alex's voice had gotten much deeper and sexier and Phai kind of blushed just now noticing.

But aside from that, the sarcastic tone he just used with him didn't go unnoticed and he looked up at him. "I told you I wasn't feeling well."

"That's bullshit Phai."

"Fine I don't want to be here."

They were talking as if this was the first time in a long time they've seen each other which wasn't the case at all. They still saw each other everyday. Them being next door neighbors hadn't changed. They were still studying at the same school. Alex still watched Phai doing his swim meets and they were still on the same football team so there wasn't any excuse why they appeared to be nervous and passive aggressive...other than Cassy and Roxanne being the cause of it. Mostly. But they were also talking like they've had enough of eachother.

Phai just sighed when they both stopped to face eachother. He didn't want to be provoked but knew how Alex was, or more like turned out to be. Alex decided to keep up the pace of their argument. "So what's going on with you and Cassy?" He had been wanting to ask that for a long time now. He wasn't expecting any answer other than affirmation that Cassy did desire Phai. He just needed to know so that he wasn't killing himself trying to figure it out. It was like they were playing a game he didn't know about.

The brunette replied in contempt. "I can't believe you just asked that."

"Why?" Alex shrugged. He was also careful with his demeanor. "It doesn't hurt to know."

"Nothing is going on between Cassy and I. What's going on with you and Roxanne?" Phai countered defensively not wanting or willing to bring up Cassy in any type of discussion.

"Nothing." It was an easy response.

"Then don't ask me about Cassy."

The brunette watched as Alex was trying to find the right words to say. He failed incredibly at it.

"Does Cassy like you?"

"How about you ask him since youre so damn curious." Phai replied trying to dismiss Alex's question. He felt bad because he knew Cassy did like him but telling Alex that would be like telling a child that santa claus didn't exist. This is why he never mentioned Cassy kissing him that one night he snook into his room. Alex was hypersensitive. He considered Cassy a good friend and it would hurt him if he found out. Phai didn't want to ruin that by telling him. He already saw how Alex was, when he found out about his father cheating on his mother.

"I'm not curious. I'm jealous and it's pissing me off." There wasn't any person in the world who could be as upfront as Alex about something like that. The blonde teen smiled apologetically after recovering from his outburst and Phai's world brightened because of its infectiousness. Catching Alex smile used to be so rare that it was almost everyone's fantasy to witness it but now it was like an angel lit up a sky that had been dark for ages. "I shouldn't have asked you that. I'm sorry." Alex looked to the ground and they went silent for some seconds. "It's weird I never know what to tell you but I dream it as him everyday and I still manage to say the wrong things."

Who really was Alex the brunette wondered? He didn't know because he seemed to be two different people. Soft and gentle around him but unbelievably grand and ruthless around everybody else like he was becoming the king that he had described to him from his visions. Phai stil couldn't necessarily say he believed that the visions Alex were having were actual visions of his past life, it just sounded unlikely and even though he didn't understand what he was going through just yet he did promise Alex that he will be there for him always until he could get a grasp of his gift and curse. Whichever it was.

"I don't expect you to be perfect around me Alex," Phai responded earnestly. He was about to say something else to him then Roxanne called Alex to hurry up or they were going to miss the movie.

Phai and Alex looked over at her while she was waiting for him by the front doors and Alex told her they would be right there. The girl rolled her eyes and went back into the theatre. If Cassy hadn't told her what he had said to her that day, she wouldn't have been as covetous and hateful towards Phai now, even though eventually she would have been. She had never liked him but as she continued to watch them from the doors her hate was growing more with every second those two were taking eachothers time.

"God, she's all over you." Phai said with disgust mixed with more jealousy while looking away.

Alex had nothing to say to that because she was all over him, but he wasn't going to mention to Phai the fact that Cassy was all over him too. He didn't want to upset him further. He stepped closer to Phai and leaned graciously into his ear. Phai tensed unconsciously making sure no one was watching them by the door and good thing no one was. Being this close to Alex in public was something he had to get used to again, because now they preferred things private. Alot more private even though Alex was the least careful of the two like right now. At first Phai didn't care who knew about them, he kissed Alex in a club full of people and friends, even though his friends didn't see, and it didn't bother him then, but now the more well liked Alex got around his peers the more worried Phai was for his reputation. And Roxanne and Cassy couldn't be trusted. The two were dangerous. Cassy already knew and was playing with it, but Roxanne knowing, would be bad. But they also took their families and friends into consideration. The last thing they wanted was for their parents to know. The last thing Alex wanted was for Phai to feel like he had to protect his future for him.

Phai gasped lightly when he was touched by Alex. He could smell the natural scent of his friend that he still couldn't define after so many years but it was sweet like honey.

"If I could be all over you right now, you know I would." Alex said to his friend softly. He smiled gently before he gave him his respected space and headed towards the theatre entrance.

Phai managed to stay behind and watched as Cassy and Roxanne took Alex from him the moment they walked into the damn building. He did have a problem with it but he didn't want to interfere with their closer friendship with Alex, afterall they knew eachother first and deserved Alex's time first. The blonde seemed happy to be around his friends. Phai didn't want to take the joy from that even though he would be doing him a favor, knowing how deceitful they were behind his back. And typical Alex had no idea everybody hated him even though they loved him. All he wanted to do was protect Alex but now he was just going to let him have a good time despite feeling fucking miserable. "Are you coming Phai?" Tolem asked.

The brunette promptly nodded. When he came up beside Tolem to pay at the window, Tolem could see something troubling him and the fact that he wasn't answering him, just making gestures with his head and using one word answers proved that something was bothering him. He decided not to push it further.

Roxanne being cruel and nosy waited until Alex and Cassy were inside the theatre room first before she stepped in front of Phai after he paid his ticket. Phai was somewhat surprised by her presence. "Hi?" he said not recognizing the reason for her being there.

"So just out of curiosity are you in love with Alex or something?" The dark skinned girl asked. Her tone was of extreme dislike but still managing to stay unwinded with her hatred towards the pretty boy. She had a snotty smile on her face.

It didn't hit Phai until later that she would ask that, at a time like this. He frowned. "What makes you think that?" His night would have been better if she didn't speak to him at all.

"I don't know," She shrugged coming off as antagonistic with her black eyes pressing. "You just seem to be all over him lately. I don't think he likes it though. And people are starting to question about how close you two actually are. You should be careful."

This was exactly what he was afraid of. "We're just friends Roxanne." Phai answered safely but at the same time trying his best not to reveal anything but as she continued it was too hard to conceal his feelings for Alex.

Now Roxanne knew? Who else knew? He didn't know how she found out but it sucked that she did.

She grinned meanly seeing right through him. "Oh good, I was worried for a minute, but just in case, someone should warn you about Alex. You see as long as I've known him, he's had these problems committing to people in general. I should know because he has told me plenty of times that he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. He didn't go as far as mentioning marriage because I know he doesn't believe in that, which was something I expected from him. He even had this girlfriend when he lived in Colorado Springs that he didn't tell me about either and I wonder how many others he's had when he was away. I'm sure he talks a lot about her to you."

"What's your point?" Phai hissed in vulnerable aggravation. Her attempt was obviously just trying to turn him upset, trying to make him jealous, but at the same time wanting him to rethink his affections for Alex. The girl could tell it was working. She was putting all the right damage on him by pushing all the right buttons. All she had to do is mention Alex's many faults.

"My point is that he couldn't commit to her either no matter how special he claimed she was. And if you are infatuated with him somehow don't expect anything in return like something called love because you won't get it. He might tell you something he doesn't mean. He will eventually shut you off from his life. He likes to do that, never opens up and never lets anyone in and when he does it's followed behind lie after lie. Promises he will never be able to keep. You're only going to end up hurt. He's been lonely for so long that he uses people for his own personal insecurity, to fill that empty space so he never feels lonely again. So if what Cassy told me is true, I hope you don't mind me saying this to you ofcourse for your own protection." She stepped closer to the brunette with her hands in her coat pocket. "Back away from Alex. Forget about him. Youre stupid if you think he loves just you. Alex loves everyone so youre not special in any way, but the difference between you and I is that I had him first and it isn't fair to me that you would try to take him away when you know how much I mean to him. And I won't sit back and watch you take him from me. I can afford to make your life a living hell. The thing is you have everything to lose and I have nothing to lose. I don't know why you feel this way about him but now that I know you like Alex, just imagine what Alex's friends would think if they found out. I have a million reasons why I would ruin you but don't ruin Alex's reputation because of it. Don't make him regret it and don't embarrass him. Let him enjoy being normal and all you have to do is stay away from him."

He saw the real witch inside of her this time around, that he feared one day would show and swallow everything he's ever felt. Roxanne turned away with a small chuckle and a hinted grin. She walked with tall arrogance into there theatre room.

This wasn't happening. Just when he thought this day couldn't get any worse... it was ruined more after that threat. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? His heart beated relentlessly after his mind and affections felt violated. He didn't even have the strength to confront her or say anything at all. It hurt more than he should have let it. Why would she tell him something like that. Why would she purposely go out of her way to hurt him. And worst of all, no matter how untrustworthy he was, he wasn't expecting Cassy to be the one to open his mouth to her.

Phai was just standing there while people walked around him to enter the theatre. He wanted to leave so bad. He wiped coming tears from his eyes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Roxanne and Cassy sat on either side of Alex after they picked there seating. It was like a weird battle going on that no one could figure out. Phai sat the furthest away and the blonde noticed and he instantly thought it was because of what he said to him about Cassy. Phai most of the time was quiet around people and alot of times around his friends but this time something was weighing heavy on him. He couldn't help but think it was his fault and maybe he had offended him.

Phai was sitting at the edge of the seat, biting on his nails in a nervous condition, like he was still deciding whether to stay or get up and go. The feeling was hard to just get over and put aside. It was a similiar feeling, when you write something very private in a journal or diary that your parents find and read, until they discover everything you didn't want them to know about you and you don't feel pure anymore but contaminated.

"Hey Phai go get us some popcorn." Crater said throwing a twenty dollar bill at him and ofcourse he was stuck next to Crater, another one of his least favorites among Alex's friends.

Phai just took the twenty crumbling it up in his hand and got up not even wasting his breath on him. He hurried and left his spot almost like he couldn't wait to get out. Tolem saw Alex gesture at him to go with Phai. He would go himself but all his friends were hanging around him, hogging all of his attention.

"Phai hold on, I'm coming with you." Tolem said getting up and following Phai out the doors. Phai was pissed and now it was clear. He stormed to the counter and asked for two large popcorns.

Tolem came up beside him. "Dude what's wrong?"

Phai stood there quietly just waiting for his order. Not saying a word. The lady handed him back his change and when Tolem asked again he turned to his goodhearted friend. "Nothing." He threw the money on the counter and left the building leaving Tolem in absolute shock. Phai pissed off was always a shock because it never happened. The angry teen sat outside, against the wall trying to fight back the feelings he feared would come. He felt weak, letting Roxanne get to him like that.

Tolem expectedly ran out. "What about the movie?"

"I'm just going to wait out here until it's over." He replied. Missing a movie he didn't even want to see was not a big deal.

"So youre not going to tell me what's wrong?" Tolem sat down next to him knowing he wasn't going to convince him to go see the movie anymore. "Fine."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was ten minutes the movie had been running. Alex noticed both Tolem and Phai never came back. What the hell were they doing? Suddenly he didn't even give a shit about the movie. Feeling some sort of guilt he couldn't stay still.

"I need to get something to drink. You want anything?" Cassy asked Alex noticing his frantic behavior.

The blonde shook his head. "No, but you should go find Phai and Tolem." Alex was getting anxious that he almost stumbled on his words.

"Sure thing."

Roxanne and Cassy glared at each other before Cassy took off, then once he was gone Roxanne snuggled closer to Alex.

Like he wasn't expecting it, like someone just insulted him, and invaded his space, he glared heavily at her head leaning on his shoulder.

_What's happens when three people are attached to you and you can't decide what to fucking do about it. When someone is attached to my left not letting me go, when the other is snatching me from the right telling me not to go and then there is someone in front of me telling me exactly where to go. I've already decided, it's just asking myself how did it get this way, why it's this way and what to do about it._

_My feelings were scrambled. Out of place. They were there but didn't make sense to me. It was like watching a TV show you didn't understand but claiming to love everything about it. Cassy left to go find Phai. I didn't know if Phai had feelings for Cassy or not. I didn't know where Cassy's feelings for Phai were either. I just knew they were there which was hard for me to accept. I struggled with bad thoughts I should have never had because that meant I betrayed Phai's trust. Of Cassy taking Phai away from me. Of Phai leaving me for someone better and more exciting. What is Cassy giving to Phai that I don't have. It felt like I was on a date that Phai chose to ignore or Cassy was just everything that he wanted? Phai always told me I worried too much on the wrong things but never worried enough when I needed too. Cassy was something I needed to worry about. _

Cassy strolled outside finding the two just sitting on the concrete on the side of the building, Phai looking beautifully distressed and Tolem comforting him by just being there.

"So I guess you're too cool for this movie." The mean eyed teen smirked while lighting up a cigarette.

Phai got up when he saw Cassy come out the place with his stupid jolly smirk and shoved him into the wall of the building. "Why the hell did you tell her about Alex and I you fucking piece of shit? You're a fucking asshole you know that!"

"Calm down princess, I must have let it slip but you shouldn't worry about it one bit. Now let go of me so I can finish my smoke." Cassy chuckled not expecting that.

"I can't believe you did that!" Phai shoved him harder. "That was none of her business."

"Thank me Phai, because now she knows how you two feel about each other. If you want her off Alex's back then she needs to know." He was calm about it which pissed the brunette off more.

"It doesn't work that way."

"Maybe you guys should fuck in front of her. On her bed. She won't be expecting that on her way home from work. Then maybe she'll get the picture."

"Fuck you Cassy! Fuck you!" Phai stormed off. This time down the street away from Cassy and everything else.

"Seriously fuck you." Tolem said to Cassy before shouting out to Phai. "Hey where are you going?"

The frizzy haired boy sighed after watching Phai disappear from the theatre. He then turned to Cassy and punched him dead in the mouth.

"Ow, fuck." Cassy was holding his jaw after saving his cigarette from hitting the ground. Then he started to laugh not expecting that either. "That was a good hit but why the fuck for?"

"Why is everything a joke to you. You should really back off him Cassy. Stop antagonizing him and just leave him alone."

"I'm just looking after him."

"You're looking after yourself."

"Maybe." Cassy strikingly admitted with no shame.

"Why would you do this to Alex? Isn't he your friend."

Cassy didn't answer. He only smriked wiping his bleeding lip. "Hey if Alex asks, nothing happened and Phai just wanted to go home. We have no idea why."

"I'm giving Phai a ride back home. Good luck telling Alex." Tolem went to his car and Cassy watched him drive off to catch up with Phai.

The green eyed teen sighed and went back inside. He knew this wasn't going to sit well with Alex and he didn't really consider Alex's rage at the time. They have noticed a short temper in their blonde friend lately.

Cassy sat back down next to Alex and tried to play it off casually like nothing was seriously wrong by popping the popcorn in his mouth and sipping from his drink.

"Where's Phai?" Alex asked and his patience was done with.

"He left." Cassy cleared his throat pretending to pay attention to the movie but really only being able to focus on how infuriated Alex was. But realized he couldn't shrug things off anymore like he could with the younger, reserved, quiet, Alex.

"Why?"

"He seemed angry about something you said to him and he just left. Tolem went to give him a ride home." Cassy was getting pleasure from letting Alex feel that it was his fault that Phai had left.

Alex stood and left without telling his friends where he was off too. Roxanne glared at Cassy again and Cassy smiled at her.

He went to the bathroom and he knew he was killing himself thinking of everything that could make him sick. The doctors number one thing they told him to do since they couldn't prescribe him anything was to stay healthy as long as he could. He leaned over the toilet and vommited. He felt this choking sensation and he coughed up more bile. "Fuck."

Maybe going to the movies wasn't such a good idea, because the projector made his headache even worse, and thinking about Cassy and Phai fucking didn't help. He was ashamed he let his thoughts get that far but he had reasons to worry. He stood and went to go wash his mouth at the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror. He saw the king that surfaces his dreams staring back at him. He turned away from himself and left the bathroom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was another day at school and there was nothing holding Alex back from visiting Phai at his locker. "Is there something wrong Phai."

"Alex this really isn't the best time." Phai seemed bothered by him and trying to disregard him being there and Alex felt even more like shit.

"Apparently yesterday wasn't the best time either. Did you know that I called you, but you didn't pick up which of course means that something's wrong."

"Alex can we talk about this after school. I don't think its best if your seen right now with me."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? If you don't want to be near me anymore say yes and I'll leave."

"It's not that Alex." Phai sighed.

Phai saw a group of Roxanne's friends going down the hall giggling and talking about something while looking and pointing at him. Alex immediately saw Phai's face grow pale. "What's wrong?" He cupped his chin and Phai pushed his hand off quickly. "Don't touch me."

Alex didn't know what the hell was going on and looked at the girls wondering what they were looking at and Phai fled his locker and headed down the hall. He knew Roxanne opened her goddamn mouth.

Alex followed him. He took Phai by the arm and pulled him aside.

"Alex youre getting annoying. Go away."

"I said tell me what's wrong then I'll go away. I'm sorry for what I said last night."

Phai shoved him hard for being stupid and thinking it was because of what he said. "Your stupid girlfriend told everyone that I like you. She told me to stay away from you because she had you first. Now that I think about it she did have you first."

"I never had her." Alex replied gullible and it was hard to stay mad at him.

"She thinks you're her boyfriend. She said that you wanted to be with her."

"And you actually believe her?" He yelled and that was the last of his innocence.

"Why not believe her. You haven't told her you two aren't together. I would get the same idea if I were a clinging bitch like her." Phai screamed back.

They noticed everyone looking and Phai grunted. "Great now they're probably thinking we have angry sex." He walked out the shcool doors.

"What did she tell you?" Alex followed just trying to get the whole story. She obviously said more to him.

"She's told me enough. Alex you know she likes you, you know she has these strong feelings for you so when are you going to tell her that you don't love her. Or do you?"

It was weird how fast the tables turned.

Alex didn't say anything and Phai regretted saying anything at all after Alex left to go find Roxanne.

He wasn't Alex anymore, but a completely different human.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where's Roxanne!"

The friends were out on the football field just hanging around and couldn't believe it when they saw Alex looking like some rage god coming towards them. Surely they never seen this side to him.

Alex came and knocked the ball from Cassy's hand. "Where is she Cassy. I bet you two couldn't fucking wait to tell everybody about me and Phai."

"I didn't say anything that she didn't need to hear. Maybe she needs to understand that you don't love her." He answered like a smartass.

"My business shouldn't concern her or you!"

"Oh you two made it so obvious that it was eventually going to become our concern."

Alex shoved him. "My concern is not your concern. Why the fuck do you care?"

Cassy shoved him back. "Don't push me Alex." The green eyes warned.

"Or what. What more shit can you fucking do!" The blonde shoved him back anyway and Crater rushed by Alex and held him back before the fight turned heavier.

"You don't deserve him Alex. Why should you deserve him when you were too scared to get him in the first place."

Alex felt betrayed by everyone. "Don't not try to press me Cassander! It might be bad if you do." He shook Crater's hands from him. "Where is she?" he asked one last time.

"In the girls locker room." Cassy answered. He might aswell answer because fighting Alex would be a failed attempt. He even knew that. Alex just had too much fire in him.

The blonde left them.

"Did he call me Cassander?" Cassy looked at the guys.

"He sure did. What are you guys arguing about anyway?" Phil asked, sadly they were the only ones who hadn't heard about him and Phai yet.

Cassy picked up the ball Alex knocked from his hand. "Nothing important." He then removed himself from the football field.

Roxanne was laughing and chatting with her friends once she left the locker room and she saw Alex by the door. She wasn't expecting him.

"Oh, hey Alex."

His presence spoke for itself. He didn't answer her and entered the locker room not caring that boys weren't allowed. It was empty anyway. "Can you excuse us?" He let her friends know politely at first. Roxanne didnt know she was in trouble. "Go!" Alex shouted at them when they were taking too long and they left in a hurry.

"I'll catch up with you guys." She told her friends as they walked out and closed the door quickly. Once they were gone she looked back at Alex with a scowl. "How dare you talk to my friends like that. What do you want?"

He didn't hesitate and took Roxanne by the throat and slammed her against the locker. "I don't know what your problem is with Phai but don't let me catch you again running your foul mouth spreading lies to him about you and me. I never told you I loved you and I never told you that we were together. You will never hear those words come from my mouth so don't expect them because you will be waiting a fucking long time."

"Alex you're hurting me." She was trying to take his hand from around her neck. He was like another man fighting to take control.

/

_**Alexander let her go! My king let her go!**_

_Servants and maids begged him to stop himself from strangling the queen._

_**You witch, damn your miserable heart! You would take the only person ever close to me and you dare claim to love me!**_

\

He eventually let her go after that horrible vision rushed through his eyes and skull.

She was coughing and he couldn't believe he had just did that. Something was becoming more wrong with him and he left her there to cough up her own pitiless dignity.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amyntor was reading a book at the counter while drinking a glass of orange juice. He heard the front door open and saw his son stop by the kitchen. He was just looking at him and his father could tell he had been crying. It was late and he had been wondering where he was this entire time.

"Phai what's wrong?" He asked paying no more attention to the book or drink in his hand or what time it was. "Where were you?"

Phai stood there scared to say anything while clinging on tight to his backpack strap. Trying his best to hold in the words but also trying to hurry and let them out.

Then Amyntor really got worried when his son wasn't speaking. "What is it son? Tell me." His dad rushed over to him and the first thing he did was feel his head for something feverish like he did when Phai was very little.

The teen lowered his head staring at the floor with his lips parted ready to say something. "Can I tell you something and you promise not to tell mom?" He leaned against the wall and let his backpack slip off his shoulder. His voice was bleary and his hands a bit shaky.

"Yes, Phai of course. Just you and me. No one else. I promise." His father was super sensitive when it came to his kids needs not only because it was his job as a father to care about them, but especially his boy. He moved his sons long locks away from his eyes to get a better look at him. "Hey, look at me teary eyes and say something."

"Callista can't know either. I don't want her saying anything and mom to be upset." That's when the tears started to come again because he knew how his mom would feel and in some sense he felt he was betraying her.

"Oh no, what happened? Did you hurt somebody?" Amyntor didn't know how big the problem was but Phai rarely showed tears in front of anybody so it must have been something serious.

"There are these rumors going around school, aside from them being true. I didn't want you to find out the hard way so I decided I should just tell you before I feel worse about myself and so that you're not mad at me later."

"You know you can tell me anything. I will try my best to understand."

That was all the support he needed. "I don't like girl's dad." Phai couldn't even look at him. There was nothing worse than being judged by your own family and having your fragile side exposed to someone you've always looked up too.

"It's okay I used to not like girls either." Amyntor tried to be supportive and comforting but not going to far with his babying.

"That's the thing. I never had and I never looked at them like a boy should and today made me realize why it's a good thing that I don't like them. And I know you and mom really wanted me to start dating." He felt sick to his stomach knowing he had more to say, that he wasn't done with the worst of it.

"What are you telling me Phai?" His father encouraged him taking more of his sons tears away.

"Dad. I like Alex. A lot."

* * *

>Hephaistion had his face deep in his horses mane while he slept on the larger animal under the massive rains. They kept moving along a very mucky slippery path. Hephaistion didn't care about the storm but he still wouldnt run and just preferred to see the rain keep coming. He had been crying though and he might have cried more for Alexander than the gods ever could. A strong lighting shot through the sky and the general woke up when his horse jumped to its hinds after the thunder rolled.<p><p>

"Shh." He took the restrains and calmed his horse down. Once the thunder queited down a bit Hephaistion continued to whisper comfort in the horses ear. "I'm so sorry for taking you with me like this. Do you want to go home? You can if you want. I won't leave Alexander behind even if that means this storm will follow me wherever I go but I also won't drag you along either just because I'm crazy in love with our king." The general slipped off the horse and with weak legs he fell into the grimy mud. The horse snorted and nudged the generals body with its nose not going anywhere. Hephaistion pushed the horse. "Go." The animal remained resistant. "I said go. Go back to camp. You know where it is." The general tried harder to convince the animal.

The horse pushed the dirty wet general again and lowered its body down for him to climb back on. The animal was already committed and Hephaistion grabbed a hold of its mane and struggled while helping himself back on. "Fine you stubborn jackass."

Multiple eyes in the forests watched the soaked worn man and his horse proceed down a path slowly. They looked to eachother and then spread out across the land hiding behind the bushes while stalking him.

* * *

><p><strong>Another Chapter up. Thank you soo much 13Annie, Classyblue, violetsuki, anonymous guests and Baobao08 for your reviews of my last chapter and as always thanks to the readers! Without you I wouldn't write.- Stranger <strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Two **

**/**

He was nervously scraping his shoe at the kitchen floor while waiting for his dad to say something. This was it. With no chance in hell to turn back.

His frantic glance moved from the ground so that he could peek out from behind his hair and up at his father. This was followed by his body tightening. Not a word was being said and that was usually a bad sign from any parent, for any reason. "Dad." It was like he had lost his father for a second and was hoping for him to say anything. Anything that would make this situation less uncomfortable. Even if he would have just came out and told him that he didn't approve, would have been better than standing there with shifty nerves trying to guess what he was thinking.

"Are you serious about it?" Amyntor finally responded, a bit overwrought about the subject.

Phai didn't know if that was a trick question or not but he was afraid to answer now because of how serious his father had turned from the moment he entered the kitchen to now. "I would never had told you this if I didn't think I was serious about him." He might as well just say it because he had already got by the 'liking Alex' part and it was too late to be 'just kidding' and too serious of a subject to just laugh it off, but he did need it off his chest so that he could breath easier and his dad would probably be the best to offer his support. He went to him because he felt more comfortable telling him. Mothers were way more controversial and he wasn't ready for it yet.

Amyntor tried to repress a sigh, while going back to his seat at the counter. He didn't appear as disappointed as Phai thought he was going to be, but it was still close enough. He was still a little confounded that this was the reason for his sons tears. "So you're attracted to the same sex?" He worded it much easier just so that it became clearer, but mostly trying to assure himself what he heard.

Phai didn't know how to answer that either, because if he looked back on all the boys he liked or crushed on, it was zero, and Alex was actually the first.

_Yes, I was his first. But being 'first' doesn't always mean the 'best'. For example some people learn from there first mistake. I like to think that I was always the most important and "the best he's ever had" but clearly I was being selfish when I said that. But unfortunately by the end of our adolescence I was the mistake that I had to learn from._

"I think just Alex." Phai sniffed and answered a little defensively like liking anyone else other than Alex would be impossible.

__'If you are what you say you are, then my heart went to the right place...' Is what Phai had told me when our days became eradicate and timeless, but I've held on to it ever since. ____My advice, don't let Phai fool you. ____The thing you need to know about him, is that he knows what he wants. He's always known, all the way down to the end result. If you can admit it to yourself, Phai was few and far between. If you don't know what that means, it means he wasn't exactly your typical kind of guy, with the flirting charm, swooping the ladies off their feet with massive arrogance. Yea, that was more me. ____He never thought about girls sexually or romantically. _I don't think he had ever looked at a woman and came up with the same idea that he had about me, that maybe he was supposed to be spending his life with one. He never dreamed about getting married, or raising a family. He wasn't like me and _spent so much time wondering why he was like that, the way he was. He never wondered if this is how he was supposed to be living, what people would call the normal way. _He had discovered early on that all of that wouldn't be of any worth to him, because it wasn't what he wanted or who he was. _Sure there had to have been a few ladies down the road that he thought were good looking but other than that he shared absolutely no feelings toward any of them. None. He was neither curious or cared in which he's made clear and makes clearer. __

_This is when the whole 'fate' thing came in to play. As far as I knew, looking back on all the visions of the past, Phai was only meant to be with me and even though _I was the one with the visions and I was the one who could see my past and future, I was the one who ended up struggling to find myself? In my defense I wasn't stupid, but I admit, I still couldn't read into my visions quite yet, they were getting harder to see and understand. I was not only getting them randomly out of nowhere but they came to me out of order, and the king that I was trying to discover was always in and out of insanity drinking himself to the brink of inadequacy which made it harder. Not to mention he wasn't the most stable of people to be influenced by especially with his degenerate behavior. I was lost still, just as broken as I still am but Phai wasn't broken at all and I don't remember a time where he ever was. _He knew better than me, he was stronger than me, smarter than me, prettier than me, the 'better' half of me and I emphasize 'Better'. Maybe that's why I was mad in love with him. Maybe that's why I desperately needed him. So that he could help me find myself. ___

_And even though I was sometimes an idiot in the love department, I was worth all of his time and all of his focus. I was what he wanted. It was simple as that. Me. I was his future and I was his time and even though our future kind of gets knocked off track for awhile, I don't regret to tell you that the feelings never changed. I also don't regret to tell you that times will become rougher. _

_I'm sure you know me well by now. Or maybe you don't. The more famous me? A king. A superstar. Spotlights on all the time. Arrogant yet charming. Acts before I think. Yes I ran that kind of life. Was it what Phai wanted? Hell no. Probably not. But I give the credit to him._

_Because he__ never looked back and wondered why he once loved me. _

The good thing about Amyntor was that he knew how to have a sense of humor in tough situations and far less confrontational than his mother, sort of the laid back kind of dad all kids hoped for and accused of being easy going. However he could also be faithfully severe at times and harsh when necessary and right now both his strictness and light heart were weighing in his face when his gaze had met his sons.

"I don't know what to say." His father shook his head before smiling shortly. He rubbed his face tensely before looking right at his son. "This isn't what I expected. I'm sorry."

He knew it was upsetting for his dad. Phai could tell he was really trying hard to adjust. "I just don't want you to hate me."

Amyntor chuckled shortly at his son's absurd words. He was frustrated that his son would hurt him by saying that and also frustrated with what his son had just confessed. It wasn't easy being a parent. How was he supposed to react? "Why would I hate you Phai?"

His sad eyed son looked at him, his emotions flooding, hearing the hurt in his fathers voice. By this time he thought they would be yelling and screaming at eachother. By this time he thought he would be walking out the house to go find another place to sleep. By this time he thought his dad would be lost for words and walk away in disgust but Phai was almost angry that his father wasn't angrier at him. He had his words planned out if his parents decided to abandon him but what he didn't expect was his father trying his best to hear him out. It was as if he needed confirmation that liking boys was bad but his dad seemed to be having mixed feelings which kind of made it harder. If he just told him it was wrong then Phai could just leave. If his dad said he was okay with it, then cool. But neither happened. It was like being stuck in a rollercoaster that malfunctioned while upside down. "Aren't you mad that I like him?"

"I'm not mad. I'm just not overly happy about it either." Amyntor hated to have to tell his son that. So many things sprung through his head, the toughest part being on how to talk to his son about it without sounding unreasonable or that he didn't approve of that lifestyle. He didn't want his son to think he was being inconsiderate towards his feelings or a homophobe. It was normal for a parent to be shocked and dissapointed at first especially if they never had to address that sort of issue before, and if this was a perfect world all would be said and done but Amyntor knew it would have been easier to accept if he didn't already know how his wife would feel about it. "Shit." He cursed strongly. When he saw his sons reaction he apologized. "Sorry. I have to think about this for a second." He was going through an assortment of emotions, possibly more than his son was going through.

"Think about what? I can tell it's bothering you. If it is just say so. If you have a problem with me liking him just fucking say so!" Phai angrily expressed.

"It's not about how I feel." His father expressed back. "It might bother your mother. That's all." Amyntor responded narrowing his eyes at the counter. That was both their biggest worry. He sighed and closed his eyes trying to regain his understanding. In some ways he felt he didn't even have a say in his childrens lives. He was always out and in the door and never had a leveled bond with either of them because of the inconsistencies that came with joining the military. He did consider himself close to his kids. But they were close only when he was home for them.

Phai watched his dad take a deep breath. "You already knew didn't you?" The teen asked after realizing why his dad wasn't overly angry about it. He sort of felt his dad had his suspicions already with the teasing he would do once in awhile.

"Yea." He looked at his son gravely.

Phai frowned angrily, like he was just betrayed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

His father let out a breath. "I tried to ignore it, in respect for your privacy."

"Why the fuck did I even come and tell you then?! Do you know how hard this was for me!?"

"I know Phai. That was wrong of me and I'm sorry. I should have said something when I suspected it." Amyntor didn't know how to be anything but honest with his son and himself.

Phai calmed down, honestly thinking that it could have went way worse, so now he was just standing shyly like an idiot wondering what to do and say. "How?"

"I'm your father, I notice these things. I'm not blind or stupid. And neither is your mother Phai."

"Well what am I supposed to do. Change how I feel?"

"We can't change how you feel. And you can't change how you feel either."

He had got that right. His feelings for Alex weren't going to change anytime soon. No matter what would happen.

"I'm not telling mom." Phai folded his arms stubbornly.

His father left his seat and came up to him hugging him warmly and then went back grabbing his drink and book, leaving his son wondering what was going to happen next.

"Come on." Amyntor said calmly. "Let's go to the other room."

Phai grumbled, not sure if he was ready to sit down with his dad and discuss it some more. Unfortunately his dad was a pain in the ass. But he was glad he was atleast open to conversation.

They went into the living room and Amyntor made him sit. They ended up talking about it for almost an hour so that they both came to a relaxed state of mind.

_It wasn't easy for Phai to do. It wasn't easy for his father to listen either. It's _hard knowing that something so honest and personal between two people, could be violated just by words, rude remarks, unnecessary glares and questioning eyes. Good thing Amyntor wasn't like that. _Amyntor was a good father and a good man. He was smart and funny, but he also had traits none of the other adults in our life had. Where they were rejecting, spiteful and cruel, he was embraceful, humble, and affectionate. The man whose son I fell in love with later became a big part of my life. I don't want to spoil how big of my life he actually became a part of but once I got to know him, there wasn't much intimidation left. I didn't have to worry about him going to the garage to grab his assault rifle. I've always respected him and I've always reminded Phai how lucky he was to have a dad like that, not just for allowing me to love his son but he was also the only adult in Phai's life who accepted it and allowed his son to love me back. _

"Phai I don't want you to think we would ever hate you."

"I know dad."

"I know you do. So does Alex feel the same way?"

"I think so." Phai mumbled quietly. He hadn't spoken or seen Alex after school that day but he was hoping Alex wasn't mad at him for how he was with him earlier. He couldn't blame Alex for the Roxanne situation because even though he got mad at him for it, he didn't blame him once. He just knew eventually down the road when things turned more hectic, Alex will blame himself. For everything.

"How did you guys meet?"

"Middle school. He had a staring problem. We've always been neighbors though I just never talked to him."

His dad nodded. Then the more serious questions were being asked. "Do you feel good around him?"

"Yea." Phai smiled at how awkward it was that his dad was asking this. "Alot."

"Is he respectful and kind to you?"

"More than enough." Phai was being careful with the words to chose. It didn't matter how amazing Alex was, parents were protective no matter what.

Phai wasn't expecting what he had said next.

"I'm glad that you found someone Phai." It was honest, but he was still clearly dubious about it, but Phai understood that it wasn't going to be solved overnight.

"What about mom?"

"I won't tell your mother. You will tell her when you're ready."

Phai was shocked when he heard that. He looked at his dad in disbelief. "Really?" It was like his dad was holding back from saying something on his mind, because he seemed unsound and his face looked stressed. Maybe it was involved. Phai didn't know. He didn't want to ask either.

"I never told you it was wrong Phai. I never told you anything." Amyntor replied sternly just wanting his son to understand that he would always be his father no matter what. "Alright?"

Phai nodded but wasn't sure why.

"You should get to bed son, you look tired."

Phai was still a little worried about his father's reaction thinking maybe his dad changed the subject intentionally. Maybe he didn't hear him correctly. "Are you positive you heard me right?"

"Yes Phai." His dad smiled, but something was lost. "You like Alex. I know."

"Just making sure." Phai slowly grabbed his bag, still feeling like nothing was relieved yet and headed to the stairs thinking his dad needed a little more time to get used to him liking another boy.

"Phai?" His father called him back.

The teen stopped and then dragged his feet back to the room. "Yea?" He was hoping that he wasn't in trouble this time but when he heard the question the hairs on his body rose and stiffened.

"Have you two had sex?"

Phai forgot that question was going to be asked eventually, but still somehow knew it was coming and was too nervous and uncomfortable to answer. His throat became compressed. He couldn't believe this was happening right now but after the trust they just gained he didn't want to lie to his father either. "Do I really have to answer that?"

"You might aswell." Amyntor sat comfortably. "You got this far." He was serious but the moment might aswell have been comical.

Phai was trying to figure out how to answer. He opened his mouth to say something but decided that it wasn't what he wanted to say or afraid it wasn't the right way to say it. "Yea." He mumbled under his breath, while looking at the carpet.

His father still didn't seem as upset as he could have been. But Phai knew he was probably holding it back. "How old were you guys?"

Phai blushed even deeper. "Dad this is embarrassing."

Amyntor got excited. "Just tell me, tell me everything so that I can't tell you years from now that I didn't know who my son was. Trust me it's going to feel good to have no secrets left. I need you to be comfortable telling me these things Phai or else you never will be. You don't think I've had embarrassing moments when I had to tell my parents about my sex life."

"Yea but you didn't have to tell your parents you liked a boy."

His dad didn't say anything to that, just smiled and nodded in understanding. It was true.

"I was sixteen. The same day he came back." Phai kept his eyes down.

Amyntor remained calm and sneered a bit knowing that was the day he had first met Alex. Naturally that type of thing would have been offensive especially since Amyntor wasn't introduced to Alex yet, but the kid had guts, that's for sure. For a kid who seemed so indecisive, and shy, Alex sure knew what he wanted. "He's brave, I'll give him that."

Phai gave a little nervous smile. Brave didn't do Alex justice. "Don't kill him though, I was the one who wanted it... I might have also kissed him on the cheek when we were in middle school. But that's all that happened."

"That wasn't hard. Now you can finally get some sleep." Phai watched his dad get up from the couch and grab his cup. "We'll figure something out."

"Are things going to be okay with us?"

Amyntor replied peacefully. "Yea. I just need time. But we'll be okay. I promise, it'll be alright."

"Thanks dad." Phai responded quietly and then left to his room. Everything became silent once he heard the door close from his sons room. Amyntor walked to the kitchen and poured out his drink. He washed the glass and put it upside down on a towel next to the sink. He turned off the rest of the lights downstairs and went to go sit back down on the couch. He blinked just staring ahead with his hands in his lap. It took awhile but his tears finally came.

* * *

><p><em>The time would eventually come near when the secret is no longer a secret. <em>_Then there would come a day where everyone finds out. I didn't expect everyone to be accepting. It wouldn't be realistic if they did, unless ofcourse they're your closest friends. I wasn't planning on keeping it a secret forever, just until Phai and I were comfortable with it ourselves. _

_ But you know how things don't always work out the way we want it. _

"He did that to you?!" Her girlfriends surrounding her were surprised that this time the gossip was actually true. Half the rumors in the school were bullshit.

"Yea." Roxanne answered after she told her friends what Alex had done to her.

The dark eyed young woman was looking at the very and almost invisible mark that Alex supposedly had left on her neck in the mirror in the girl's bathroom. It was safe to say you couldn't see anything but she was making a big deal out of it anyway. He didn't hurt her, but there were times she could still feel his hands there. The only thing that hurt was that moment of him telling her that he didn't love her and defending Phai on top of it. Now she knew what he really felt about her. Or about him. Either way she would never get over it.

"Maybe you should like tell the principal." One suggested while turning to the other girls while they agreed.

"Yea and get his ass suspended. What makes him think he can just touch you like that? He should know better especially since he's a man."

The dark skinned girl just shrugged at her friends. "I can but I'm not worried about it." If anyone knew her as well as they claimed they would know she wanted him to suffer in some sort of guilt. She liked games. "I'm a big girl. I'll be fine."

_The difference between Roxanne as a young girl compared to now was haunting. There was no one as wicked in my life than her. They used to call my mother a cunning bitch but my mother would have never done the things Roxanne has done to hurt others. She went from an annoying brat obsessed with me to a wickedcrazedlovesickbitch, one word, with no sense of goodness or shame. I usually only try and surround myself with good people and until I realized Phai wasn't exaggerating about her, it was too late. I shouldn't have got stupid._

_I shouldn't have got stupid. _

_I shouldn't have let her back in my life. _

"Have you at least told your dad?" The girls were also surprised that she hadn't told anybody but this was another one of her mind games as she intended.

A small grin grew. "No." She wrapped a scarf around her neck being a little dramatic like he had left a gigantic hand print on her. "My father would kill him if he found out."

"Whatever Roxanne." One of her friends just rolled her eyes knowing well her infatuation with Alex. It would have been easier if she had just gotten over him. "We'll see you after class." And then they left.

She sighed after staring at herself in the mirror while laying her long hair over her shoulders. She only seen Alex a couple of times at school and avoiding him was working out great for her, but she didn't see Phai at all at school, and that was even better.

Then the girl started to apply makeup onto her skin. Something in her eyes flicked with badness when she applied the black eyeliner. Then her dark purple eyeshadow and last, coloring her lips blood red.

Once done and other girls entered the space, giving her looks, she grinned at them and turned to leave the bathroom.

When she went to her locker, waiting for her was Alex, looking like he hadn't slept in years. "Hey." he said to her softly and he knew by the glare she sent him, that she didn't want him around. The blonde as always appeared sweet and guiltless.

And Roxanne looked like she was just about ready to kill him. "You're in my way. Move." She knew he would eventually come to her, she was surprised though, thinking he wouldn't after what he did.

"We need to talk." He said leaving her pretty much no choice. He tried to smile kindly but she wouldn't even look at him.

"After what you did to me, uh no." Roxanne turned around and headed down the hallway, thinking putting her stuff away wasn't that important anymore.

"I'm sorry Roxanne. You have no idea how bad I feel. I should have never put my hands on you." he just followed her, not thinking anything of the stares he was getting by everyone who had already heard about it.

"You better feel bad, you left a bruise on my neck!" she stopped and turned to bark at him.

The blonde stopped and frowned. "Wait. What?"

"You heard me. You left a bruise on my neck, this is why I am wearing a scarf you asshole." Now she was looking right at him, with her hands on her hips.

"I didn't even touch you bad enough to leave a mark." He claimed with no sympathy for her.

"Really Alex? You were choking me and you slammed me against the locker? Did you forget, because I didn't?" she argued back, adoring her lies that Alex was oblivious about.

He looked irritated because he didn't want to be reminded and she was reminding him of all the reasons why he was coming to say sorry in the first place. "I didn't hurt you. I know I didn't hurt you."

"That's easy for you to say, you weren't the one who had hands around your fucking neck. You want to know why you don't remember what you did? Because you were busy yelling at me."

"I don't remember yelling at you either."

"Whatever Alex, does it matter? You were being a dick, out of nowhere. You're so lucky I haven't told the principal yet." she grunted bitterly.

"Hold on. So this is my fault?"

"Who else's would it be?"

He took a tiny moment to compose himself before a different hand was casted. "Of course it is." He laughed with slight anger but he stayed at a strange calm. "It's always my fault. With everything. When is it never not my fault?" He couldn't believe how much shit he took from people. From his dad, his mom, Roxanne, Cassy, himself, everyone. He could never win with anyone.

"You were never like this before, until you met Phai." she spat his name with absolute disgust.

"Like what?" He innocently asked.

"I can't even describe it. I just know it makes me sick." she answered visciously.

"People change. I changed. It happens."

She hated that he always had an answer for everything even if it didn't make sense to her.

"No, it doesn't just happen. You changed a lot. You're not even the same person. It's like youre confused about yourself." For once something she said held truth. "You don't just kiss a boy. It's not normal."

After that remark Alex went silent for a minute. He managed to hold in a sigh. He just wanted to put all of it behind him. When he planned to go apologize, Phai wasn't meant to be brought in the topic. "Look, Roxanne, whatever I did to hurt you, whatever I said to hurt you, I should have never done or said. That wasn't me and I'm sorry. I overreacted..."

"Do you love him?"

The question came from nowhere, interrupting him and he just looked at her. And in his face and eyes should have told her everything. Everything shitty in his life that he is currently going through at the moment. Everything shitty in his life that he hasn't been through yet but is expected, and that answering her this question was not meant to be on top of his shit list, but it was and he was sorry...

For not being able to love her in return.

"I'm sorry Roxanne."

_**/**_

_Blue eyes sparkle with wetness as he backs away from his king and leaves him alone with his new wife. They wait until he's left. All that could be heard was the party and music happening from outside, the king's men still boast about the ceremony. _

_**Do you love him? **The queen asks._

_The king takes a step closer to her in his royal gown.** He is Hephaistion.** He answers his enraged queen after she dismisses the servants from her presence._

_**First the whore and now him!** She hisses like a snake being poked at with a stick. **What do I even mean to you? **_

_He steps closer to her with a balanced gaze as she backs away.** Tell me Alexander...**_

_Tell me Alex..._

_**\**_

"Tell me Alex. Do you love him or not?" she repeated because Alex seemed to be lost from transmission or just avoiding the question but it was just another out of nowhere memory and his focus came back on her. His heavy eyes capturing her more cheerless ones.

"Yea." There was only a brief pause until he answered, no matter how hard it was for him to do. "I do."

The teen girl looked like her heart was torn out her chest. "I don't mean anything to you?" her eyes were gleaming like wet glass.

"It's complicated Roxanne." The warmth he's always had hadn't left his voice but it wasn't enough to have her forgiveness. The king married and tooks wives for political reasons and pleasure. Did he love Roxanne at all, was hard to answer because his visions hadn't gone that far and with the kings behavior so complex and filled with twists and turns, he could only understand what was going on in that head for so long. "You mean alot to me as a friend and I may have loved you in another life. Just not this one."

_She did not take that well at all but who would? I'm surprised she didn't smack me. Or maybe she did and I don't remember because my head paused right in the middle of spinning out of control. I'm surprised I even said what I did. I admit I was never the best with putting words together and I probably stabbed her in the heart, unintentionally, but I meant what I had said. I loved her at one point in my life. How much love we had?...__I might be the only one that believes there are many ways to love. _

_Speaking of love. I didn't have many lovers. So few, that I can name them easily but as more and more time went by, I was so busy I had no time for love at all. _

_If the women thought I was weird because I held no interest, then the men thought I was even weirder. I did swing both ways. I didn't care, people were people. Pleasure was pleasure. If I like you, I liked you. If you loved me, I would love you back. If you hated me then my charm will eventually rub off on you and you will be running back to me by the end of the day but that doesn't mean I was attracted to either of these said people, and I didn't open my heart up to any of these people, so don't mistake me for a man whore, who breaks hearts. Phai was my only real love. Most people can't say that there was one and only one. People date, people fuck and that's life and they do it until they find the right person. Nope not me. _

_Phai also had his preferences. They were alot less subjective. He didn't swing both ways. He found pleasure unecessary and unlike me he was very modest. If he liked you, you were lucky. If you liked him, good luck getting him. If you loved him, again goodluck. If you hated him, he didn't care. __He's only had one other lover than me. If there was love, is still being questioned. But Phai was asexual more than anything because of his lack of interest in girls, his strictness to what he found attractive in other boys, lack of sexual need and his desire for just one. __As we know it, sex was standard and crucial in the world. He wasn't impressed by it. For awhile he was content with just liking me. _

_Then things happened and he was content with being alone. _

Roxanne's world suddenly tipped and shattered when Alex turned away and left her struck, standing there with the roof caving in. The bell rung and the students who overheard and listening in, went back to doing what they were doing before.

* * *

><p>Cassy was destroying a bag of chips while staring out towards the field. He was disturbed about something and his friends looked at him while he crushed the poor bag. "Hey if youre not going to eat that. I will."<p>

Cassy immediately tossed the chips at Crater calling him a fatass. Then the green eyes went back to his thoughts. The boys just scoffed and Crater shrugged not really taking what Cassy says offensively and proceeded to eat the chips.

"So where is everybody?" Alex hadn't showed up and they assumed he just wasn't going to. "No Alex today? That's weird." Phil asked as he sat on the bleachers with the rest of the gang while they ate their lunch.

"Who cares?" Cassy snapped at him like mentioning Alex's name was not allowed around him.

"Someone's still in a pissy mood!" Phil stated.

"You two should just kiss and make up already." Crater responded before slurping from his cup. "Whatever happened to the bromance?"

"I'm going to have to agree with those two. It's weird seeing you and Alex not talking." Leon spoke.

Crater and Tolem were probably the only two of the group who figured out the problem with Alex, Cassy and Phai. Tolem knew the whole story and Crater just knew some of it. He remembered Cassy expressing once to him about wanting Phai and wanting to break his heart. They were sophmores at the time and he didn't really question the vulgarity of Cassy's comment. So he figured Alex was on the same train. He did not know anything about them being in actual love with Phai. He just thought it was some competition thing going on that involved the pretty eye boy. But he did always question why they would fight over another man, but knew it wasn't any of his business either way.

Cassy sighed. He didn't care about how any of them felt about it, he just wanted them to stop bringing it up. "Just shut up about it." The green eyed teen said. "Alex can go die for all I care."

"What's up with you anyway?" Phil asked Cassy kind of concerned about his mood, as they all were, but their was no way they could break Cassy's shield in telling them anything.

"It's nothing, mind your own fucking business Phil."

"Damn, sorry for even speaking."

Crater just shook his head and dove his subway sandwhich into his mouth after everything went silent between the group of boys.

Then when Cassy saw Tolem who had said nothing to any of them when he walked by, his usual smirk grew. The boys all saw that look and knew nothing good was going to come of it but atleast he was showing some of his old self again. "I'll be right back." He said hopping up from the bleachers while still keeping his tart eyes on Tolem who was heading towards the gym side of the school.

"Where are you going. Practice starts soon." Perdicas called him.

"Start without me." Cassy replied and went to catch up with there frizzy haired friend.

"Fucking great." Perdicas moaned.

Now they were down two captains and two players. Tolem wasn't going to join them today it looked like. Alex had left school before practice. Phai decided to put the extra hours into swimming instead. And Cassy wasn't in the mood anymore.

Meanwhile Tolem was reading a book minding his own business until two cheerleaders snatched it away from him while making there way to the field where the rest of the practice was happening. "Oh looky. It's Tolem."

"I'm surprised they allow nerds like you to play sports. What are you reading anyway? The guide on how to be a loser?"

"No. Give me my book back please." he asked dully, not really swayed by their insults.

"Or what?" she giggled.

"Piss off bitches, go back to your flips and shit." Cassy cut short, coming up behind Tolem with a little grin. "You know I'm the only one allowed to push him around right? Now be on your merry way little girls." The green eye boy shooed them away.

"Whatever Cassy. You're as much of a loser as the rest of your friends." One said.

"You break my heart. You really do. Bye, bye now."

The girls left being rather persuasive in voicing how much of a dick Cassy was. Cassy didn't mind and realized Tolem hadn't thanked him, took his book and continued to walk.

"Hey dork wait up." The mean eyed boy ran up and snatched Tolem without any manners and took him to the side to resume a conversation that hadn't yet started. "Where are you going?"

"Great. It's you." Tolem gave him the nastiest look. "I have to be somewhere."

"What the library?"

Tolem glared. "Yea."

"Still mad at me?" Cassy asked smiling.

"What the hell do you think?"

_Cassy was a cruel man most of the time. He could also be nice when he wanted to be, believe it or not, but his malicious temper whether we hate it or not came with his charm. That was just who he was. While I was charming and likable, Cassy was charming and mean and that's probably another reason why we were in conflict most of the time._

"I'm sorry about last night. I should have been nice and offered to take Phai home." It was hard to take Cassy seriously. Not just Tolem but everyone found it hard to read into his sarcasm. Even though Cassy meant it to sound sarcastic, he really meant it.

Tolem prepared himself knowing that whatever Cassy wanted it had to do something with Phai. "I don't want to hear it." He started to walk and Cassy just came up beside and started walking with him, with his hands in his leather jacket and a playful smile on his lips.

"Why?"

"Because I don't."

"Aw youre so cute when your upset." The mean eyed teen fluffed Tolem's hair and laughed when Tolem pushed his hand away.

"Go away Cassy!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I like bothering you."

"You hardly talk to me."

"I like Phai, Tolem." Cassy abruptly announced just letting it out there.

Tolem scoffed. "Really. That's it?"

"This is why I act the way I do to him." Cassy continued.

"Oh my god, Cassy I don't care." The frizzied haired boy stopped infront of him looking annoyed out of his mind. He had the feeling Cassy wasn't going to be leaving him alone anytime soon. "This isn't news to me. I always knew you liked Phai. Always. It never crossed my mind that you didn't. I knew you liked him before I found out Alex did. So why don't you tell him that instead of being a fucking prick to him all the time?"

Cassy just grinned and wrapped his arm around Tolem's neck like they were best friends. "Oh Tols, Tols. If it were that easy." He took out a cigarette and lit it even though they weren't supposed to be smoking on school campus. "I can tell Phai that I like him. I already have. The problem is getting him to like me back."

"He's not going to like you if you act like a sexual predator."

"Is that what he thinks of me?" The sharp eyed boy seemed rather curious.

"Yea and I can't imagine why."

"I don't only think about sex Tolem. Incase you're wondering I do have a heart. Sometimes." He said with snide.

"Really? Because we've been wondering where it's been this whole time."

"I said sometimes. But maybe if you tell Phai and put in a good word for me, I might like you forever."

He took Cassy's arm from around his shoulder. "I am not going to do that for you. I don't even like you that much."

"I don't think it's because you don't like me. I think it's because you're worried about how Alex would feel."

"Oh god here we go."

"You know it's true. Everyone is so damn in love with Alex. Why? It beats the hell out of me."

"Maybe because Alex presents himself better."

"Alex is a pussy." Cassy remarked back.

Tolem smirked shaking his head. "Admit it, you're jealous of him."

"No I'm not. I could get Phai." Cassy confidently replied.

Tolem stopped himself from laughing. "The only way you could get Phai is if Alex gives him up. The only way you can impress Phai is if you act nicer around him, with human manners, then maybe he might have a reason to like you back. But until then, I don't see much hope for you in the future."

Cassy released smoke from his mouth looking like being nicer would be difficult to manage. "Gee, thanks for the help. I would have went to my fucking dog if I wanted that advice."

"Then next time go to your dog."

"I had to put him down last week and I figured you're the next best thing." Cassy insulted.

"You're such a fucking dick."

"I know." He admitted and threw his cigarette by Tolem's shoe walking away.

"Oh and Cassy?"

"What?" The mean eyed teen stopped and looked at him.

"Just because Phai has good looks that doesn't make him some slutty whore. He knows he's pretty and he knows the people who want him because he's pretty. You being one of them."

"Great Tolem. So I have to be nicer and don't make a big deal about his face? Gotcha. I'll check that off my list when I get home."

Tolem just gave him the finger and left. The green eyed boy smiled and went to join his team who had started already with their warm ups.

* * *

><p>The cheerleaders stretching, stopped when they saw Roxanne entering the field. They had noticed that she was in a different mood since Alex talked to her. They recalled her new attitude and she was taking whatever the problem was out on them while making them work harder and longer. They didn't have to ask her what the problem was because again, the school was full of gossip and it happened infront of everyone. Well, mostly everyone.<p>

"Okay, we start a second round in ten minutes. After your stretches, run another mile around campus." Roxanne came up to them throwing at them fresh water bottles and sunblock.

"Again?"

"Did I stutter." She snapped at them harshly. "Didn't think so."

The team just rolled their eyes and continued with their stretches while Roxanne scanned down the chart to see who had showed up.

Cassy also had noticed her down mood, when he spotted Roxanne. And when he saw the cheerleaders talking in their little group he decided to give the girls a little visit himself. His face and eyes grew somber and he tossed the football back to Crater.

"What the hell Cassy, now where are you going?"

Ofcourse he ignored them and when the cheer team saw him approaching, Roxanne and the girls looked at him giving snooty looks.

"Hello ladies." It was less charmful and more harmful.

"Ew, what do you want Cassy. Our discussion was going just fine without you." One of the girls replied mad because he was in their sun.

"Is your poor little team falling apart already is that why you came over." They teased him noticing that none of the boys on his team were motivated plus plenty were missing.

"You girls and your god awful humor. How the heck is the neck Roxanne." He asked articulately focusing more of his attention on her while ignoring the rest.

"What concern is it to you?" She gave back a snappy attitude knowing where his sarcasm lied and that he wouldn't regard her in interest if he didn't have something mean to say. He was going to take full advantage of it.

"Apparently it's really bad and I'm really worried about you."

"That's not funny Cassy." One of the cheerleaders retorted, knowing his intent was to be a jackass.

"Fuck off." he barked back and they knew he wasn't there to just be a nuisance. He had something on his mind.

"Why do you care?" Roxanne asked folding her arms across her chest.

"I don't care." Cassy got into her face. "Infact I wanted him to kill you. I wanted to wake up the next day knowing that school was cancelled because their was a murder in the girls fucking locker room!" He yelled. "And pity all you got was a simple little mark."

Roxanne was already losing patience. "Seriously would you just leave. I'm busy."

"No. So why did you bring up my name when you had your oh so comforting conversation with Phai the other day?"

That name just made her angrier. "Are you man because it blew up in your face."

"It blew up in yours too. I'm not the one who got strangled by the king of 'I have anger problems'."

"Yea and you almost got your ass kicked by him." she reminded. "Don't flatter yourself Cassy. Your name slipped from my lips as little as your life means here in this school. I just told him what you told me. And some more. Now get out of my face." She didn't want to talk about it and started to return to marking off the attendance list.

Alex might have the strive to kill Roxanne but Cassy would kill her a thousand times over, with no apologies. He was bothered about it because he did like Phai, he just had no way of expressing it which made it harder, not to mention Phai was just plain fucking hard to get.

"I know what you told him bitch. I'm asking why?" he quickly snatched the chart and held it away from her so that she couldn't reach it.

"You must think I'm stupid. You don't think I know that you also like Phai. Alex I would have never guessed but you?"

He looked at her as if she was mistaken but she knew the truth. She must have been right because he fell silent for awhile. She wasn't stupid. She was actually incredibly smart and used that to her advantage in life. The dark haired girl patted his chest and leaned into his ear. "Get a life Cassy." Then she pushed him out her way while she went back to practice so that her girls weren't waiting longer.

Cassy's thoughts shifted. Rage shooting through him. But he wasn't stupid either. It was like playing fire with fire. "So I guess Alex broke up with you."

She suddenly turned back towards him. "What are you talking about."

"Nothing it's just what everyones been saying." He shrugged and when he came up to her he did the same thing she did to him. He cupped his hand gently behind her head and leaned into her ear. "I told you he didn't love you. I hate to be the one to say I told you so bitch."

He then left her this time standing there shocked.

* * *

><p>"Your men seem quiet yet restless. What good companions they are to their king."<p>

"I would expect that during a time like this. I hope you summoned me so that you're ready to plead your guilt." He wasn't having it. Not this late. Being in a room with her was like putting himself in a trap.

"I didn't summon you because I know anything of my husbands absence. The hour is late and I would have to worry again tomorrow." The queen kept her strong gaze upon him, but Cassander wasn't intimidated one bit. "I realize you think me to be the cause. But I summoned you because maybe it perhaps this problem falls between your men."

Immediately Cassander dismissed the guards with a swipe of his hand and turned towards the devil queen. Once the guards left their post Cassander came closer to Roxanne with a cynical arch above his eyes. "Are you this shrewd that you would accuse us knowing of Alexander's location? His own men."

"Shrewd? I'm just a concerned wife worried about her husband." The dark skinned woman sat at the end of her bed in her geeen night gown.

"Now you're concerned when you were just condemning him to Hades?" The general chuckled. "I must say I'm not surprised. Even the heavens know of your deceit. This wouldn't be a way to direct our minds elsewhere would it." he paced, eyes locked with her coal ones.

"I realize all the words I've said about him, everything I've cursed on him was all my frustration foiling, but you should know what a wound feels like." The general did know her situation with Alexander and his lack of interest as a husband towards her. "I would never want Alexander dead no matter how low you think of me. I just want him home like so many do so that he may turn back into the Alexander he was once."

"And what Alexander would that be?" he questioned, challengingly, thinking that a good question to ask because who really knew who he was?

"The one who was loved by all. A king of mercy and honor. The man built of kindness. The man who once loved me."

"Don't pray for that Alexander back. You won't get him."

"I need him to carry my child." She sounded honest and feeble for such a sharp mouthed woman and Cassander glanced unkindly towards her stomach.

"You with the kings child? What a cursed boy you would bring into this world."

She stood and walked up to him graciously. "This kingdom is going to need one soon. An heir. Cursed or not." Her voice pleaded.

"Well, you are not wrong." He answered as he took things into his hands and placed them back down to pick up something else. "But you are wrong to accuse my men or I of such a thing. You must know that Alexander is still a good friend of mine and I also would never want him dead or hurt. I've been frustrated yes, I've voiced my concerns as much as any, maybe more than most, but thoughts can be defeated. But if I did it, if I did conspire against him, I would want to be known as the man who did it. I'm not fond of guessing games."

"Neither am I." She responded heavily back. "I know your feelings towards the king and I love him but if no return, he will need to be replaced or I will be lost."

"What are you saying?" Cassander began to really focus.

"I'm saying that we must move on. The kingdom, these men need hope again. Mourning him, won't do any good for the people. We have to leave this place. It's cursed."

"The men decided not to march until Alexander is found." Cassander turned to leave but she stopped him with what she had to say next.

"And how long do you think that is going to take while we drown in these rains and as your men die from snake bites and fever. You've lost so many, during the battle and during these heavy storms. The soldiers are trying to heal still but how can they. Even if you find just his body without life, what would have been the point to risk all for one. I love my husband more than any of you but we must move on." Yes Alexander was dear to her, but if he wasn't there for her as a king and husband, then he was useless.

"Not until he is found. That is my final answer." Cassander struck a mean smile, grasping the flap to exit.

"Do you really think me a fool? It has nothing to do with what your men agreed upon. It has to do with that one man who has this grasp on Alexander's heart, that no one else can seem to get to."

"Hephaistion?"

"Yes." Her eyes danced with the fire light.

Even for someone like him, he was shocked that she brought Hephaistion up, but it kept his interest anyway. He looked over his shoulder."What about him?"

_/An arrow came flying out of the bushes and it pierced into the horse's back thigh. The hurt animal whimpered and started to back up while it's legs weakened.\_

"We sit here because you hold interest in the kings little lap dog and you await for his return, not the kings. You would have put me to death by now if you didn't think the same thing as I do about Alexander but Hephaistion is in your way. You don't see it, but he has taken everything from you men. Including the king and you still track him like a boy in love."

The general laughed finally understanding why she really summoned him. "My men think the indians are responsible, I think you are, and youre saying Hephaistion could be the cause of Alexander's demise? Hephaistion wouldn't dare attempt anything like this you crazed woman."

_/Hephaistion saw another arrow fly into his horses rib almost making it through his thigh, and reacting because of the attack, he quickly jumped off the beast while drawing his sword. He crouched low to the muddy grounds while staying alert.\_

"You are foolish then not to have seen this coming. There are certain things the gods would like to conceal."

_/The brunette general came up next to his horse and touched the arrow gently that was deep in its side, but still keeping an eye out. "Damn it." He cursed after recognizing the same arrows from the battle that they had almost lost Alexander from, and no doubt the tip was colored in poison.\_

"Hephaistion is not capable of that." Cassander couldn't believe what she was telling him.

"He's perfectly capable and he's also a being of great intelligence, an intelligence that you would demoralize? He's also the only one who would have that sort of access to the kings tent with no guards to wonder why. And since he's been so easily put aside as a threat, he could have slipped passed any one of us. After all he is a diplomat being appointed in relations to other governments, so what's to say he doesn't know a thing or two about proposing a design and working around this governments system. He knows secrets of the king we don't even know and he's to be trusted? You think to little of him, that you wouldn't think twice." She arched a brow. "He is the dearest of the kings friends, who shares all of his secrets, and if I am put to death because of it, he will soon follow where my blood spills. He took Alexander from me and I will repay him with a blade in his throat."

"You're mad. What you're saying isn't possible. He just decided one day to steal the king's body?"

"Why not? The kings body is valuable. You men know that. One day you will fight eachother for it and go as far as stealing his body from the underworld. Hephaistion is no different animal. He does know of your plots against Alexander and the smart thing to do if I were Hephaistion would be to take Alexander's body away. Far away. After all he has always wanted the king to himself."

"And he would go through this much trouble to steal Alexander's body? He's out in this storm, with little food, no shelter and just a sword."

"It's madness to you but sanity to him."

"I've had enough of your slimy tongue. You better hope Alexander still lives to keep me from removing your head from the rest of your body." Cassander hastily stated before leaving her tent and calling the guards to go back in their position. He had no time to get caught up in her delirious dreams all because of her desires to have Hephaistion burn.

The queens lips swelled in a devilish scowl and she pulled up the covers to enter into her bed getting ready to slip into the arms of morpheus and as so she prays that Hephaistion dies while trying to seek his king. Just to soothe her soul.

* * *

><p>Hephaistion quickly looked around at the bushes, hearing rattling sounds. The general growled at them to scare them off, and kept his sword close for his defense. He was like a panther hissing at the bare bodies running and surrounding him throughout the bushes, but they were fast and he couldn't get a good look at them.<p>

He could run but he didn't want to leave his horse behind. And if there were as many enemies in the bushes and trees of the forests as he thought he saw, then it was pointless.

The general ripped the arrows from the horse and apologized when the animal cried out. It was safer to take them out because of the poison leading to an infection that might be uncurable. He petted the horses mane comfortingly before standing up bravely, when the indians finally decided to come out slowly from the bushes towards him with spears and arrows pointed. There had to have been atleast ten of them. He clung on to the handle of his sword tight, ready to fight if they attacked, perfectly aware that he was outnumbered.

They were speaking to eachother, as they took steady steps towards him in their language.

"Where is King Alexander?" Hephaistion asked knowing they would atleast recognize Alexander's name and when their eyes and ears perked up when they heard it, he knew they had seen him.

But clearly the painted men weren't there to be civil and neither was Hephaistion who knew better than that. They started to make funny and unfamiliar noises again to eachother and he cocked his head trying to understand what they were saying.

They laughed wildly when one had snuck up from behind him. He turned ready but didn't attack when the smaller indian with a childs face was hovered over the horse staring and laughing at its wounds. One of the older Indian men nodded to the younger Indian and he ran off somewhere. Then they gathered closer but the general in defence mode swung his sword and they backed up. The alone man hissed again as a warning. They studied him awkwardly not interpreting well enough why he was hissing at them like an animal with aggression and instead of just killing him on the spot they found him unusual enough to capture instead.

The wild men attacked him in a group but found out he wasn't so easily overwhelmed. Especially being unaccompanied, the browned haired man ended up killing four of their men to their surprise, before the others stripped him of his sword and knocked him unconscious. Hephaistion fell to the ground, mud and grime covering his face and hair. The now angry Indians hunched over him slinging thick rope through their hands and began to tie up the handsome stranger.

_'When my dreams are all done and over, and I can't see Phai anymore, who am I?'_

* * *

><p><strong>Can I just say sorry to those who I told the chapters would come earlier, like Holiday earlier. Yes, it was the life excuse again. Also thanks Baobao, 13Annie and violetsuki for checking up on me. I appreciate it and apologies for not responding until now. Also thanks deadrose and fabercastel for your most recent reviews and S0phea I'm happy and very excited that you started to read this story. I hope you enjoy it and Lysis, I haven't forgot about your question. I promise it will be answered.<em> -<em>**

**_Stranger _**


	24. Chapter 24

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Three **

**_/_**

_Is anything precious anymore? Is anything ever truly pure?_ _When my dreams are all done and over, and I can't see Phai anymore, who am I? Am I the king? Or was I just this lost kid stuck in a dream. This lost somebody who couldn't find anything available to grasp despite having so many options around me? Was I this person who didn't know what to do or think even though all of my answers I had right here? _

_ I had no clue. As usual I was just totally blind to my direction. _

People were beeping their car horns and yelling. Some were even getting out of their cars wondering why this freak was in there way. Alex didn't know what all the clamor was for until he took in a deep breath and focused his dark cluttered eyes among the existing and looked around. His brain not registering his own reckless actions. "Hey get out of the street asshole!" An angry person shouted.

The vision he just had must have snuck up on him because ending up in the center of the road with heavy traffic was highly inconvenient and again his visions showed him no mercy. But by this time, he accepted that it was a part of his life and it wasn't going away and without apology for the inconvenience the blonde teen ignored the wrath of the crowd and continued to walk away.

_Being lost...the feeling was like water as I am being brought in by the tides of an ocean. It sweeps me up on land in an unfamiliar world and just leaves me here, like a shell buried deep in the sand. I am forced to stay here until a hand hovers over me and picks me up. But I have yet for that to happen and now I was afraid no one ever will. _

_Some say that I was lucky enough to even get this far. I got this far because I had a purpose. I knew that purpose and that was to find him...my general and my friend that I sought when my eyes could see. _

_Well...okay? Good for me. I found him. I have him. So now what? _

_I'll tell you. Things were starting to not feel right between us, anymore. Our connection after a period of time soon felt disconnected...__How so if we were meant to be together, you ask? How could the feeling not be right? We were soulmates for fucksake! So how and when did everything go wrong?_

* * *

><p>"So, Cassy asked about you the other day." Tolem brought up, as he just hung around, talking to Phai, while his friend was washing and cleaning up after their late swim practice.<p>

"Oh yea? What does he want?" Phai didn't seem too impressed or interested and Tolem didn't expect him to be.

"I think he might have been apologizing but I really don't know."

Phai couldn't even imagine what Cassy's actual intentions were when he spoke to Tolem but he was sure he heard it all before. Not to mention it was Cassy they were talking about! And the thought of him apologizing for any reason was unrealistic. "Anything else?" He asked less impressed than he was before.

"Yea he wanted me to tell you that he really likes you and pretty much that's why he gives you such a hard time." Just going out and saying it didn't sound as awkward in Tolem's head as it did in words, due just for the mere fact that it was Cassy he was trying to speak for. Which also meant Cassy had feelings somewhere hidden in his callous soul. Tolem cringed at the thought of Cassy being in love and suddenly he wanted Cassy to remain the jerk he was, so that he didn't have to see him go all lovey dovey if indeed he did have true feelings for Phai.

"He wants me to go out with him?" The blue eyed teen smuggled a laugh under his breath like Cassy was the most ridiculous person ever, especially to think he was ever going to say yes. "Cassy's cute, but he's not my type." Phai replied as if that was his final answer and all the curled haired boy could do was shrug and agree. He knew bringing it up to Phai was going to end up a pointless effort anyway but atleast he could tell Cassy that he'd tried and to move on.

"He'll get over it. I think he might be satisfied enough that you think he's cute."

"Pity. Whatever happened to working hard for what you want?" Phai replied.

"It's Cassy. He expects shit to be served to him on a platter." Tolem answered. Phai smiled at that truth. "Anyway speaking of shit being served on a platter, have you talked to Alex yet or are you waiting for him to magically appear?" He turned the subject quickly, however not carefully, because next thing he knew Phai angrily stepped out of the showers and served him the meanest glare.

Tolem smiled innocently. "What! It's just a question? So have you? It's been like a millenium since you two were last seen together which got me worried. What's going on with you two?"

"It's nothing. And no, I haven't talked to him." The brunette shook his head. Then started to stubbornly dry his hair with the towel Tolem threw to him. "I was going to call him though."

"But?"

"But what?"

"Why haven't you? What's holding you back?"

"I don't know. I just didn't." The brunette teen started to get dressed in his sweats and tank after drying himself.

"Okay." Tolem accepted that as a good enough excuse even though he could see right through his stubborn friend.

They got quiet for about ten seconds until Phai spoke. "So guess what?"

"What?" Tolem looked away from his book he was reading.

"I told my dad." Phai sat on the bench now and started putting on his shoes.

"About what?"

"About liking Alex."

Tolem gasped. "Really? Was he cool with it?" He was shocked because he wasn't expecting Phai to have said anything so soon. Atleast not until he was older.

"Yea, it seemed like it but I don't really know." Phai stopped to think about it. "My dad hides his true feelings a lot."

"Are you going to tell your mom?" Tolem was now super stoked at the news.

"No!" Phai replied defiantly.

"Good, they're the worst. Trust me you don't want to. Do you think Alex told his parents yet?"

"Would they care?" Phai scoffed.

"Good point."

"You know what Tolem, I've been thinking, and maybe Alex and I shouldn't be dating." Phai let out a miserable sigh.

"You guys technically aren't if that helps."

"I know, but we're still together, we're just not…you know..."

"Not officially boyfriends." Tolem finished.

"I was going to say 'official'. But we're boyfriends. I think. I mean maybe. Now that I think about it maybe he needs a break."

"From who?"

"Everything."

_The answer WAS everything. Everyone called it a breakup. If you want to call it a break up, call it that. Be my guest. But it wasn't. For some reason Phai and I agreed to never define it as such. It was something beautiful instead...something prolonged. Something that couldn't be repeated, tested or observed. Our bond we shared, still compressed us in, where I couldn't get rid of him and he couldn't get rid of me, no matter how much we tried or how much outside influence from the outside world wanted us pulled apart and gone from each other. It didn't happen because it couldn't. The obstacles we've been through were too enormous and unforgetable to just forget and walk away from, that's why we still managed and even though we broke away, we stayed as we once were. _

_It was just us..._

_...Two people..._

_... Falling apart. _

_It was just Everything...we worked for..._

_...being taken away. It was just us falling apart..._

_...because we had too. _

_There were many reasons why it had to happen. Even though it didn't happen until six months later, during our prom night. _

"How about you ask Alex and see what he thinks." Tolem suggested on the careful side of things. He didn't want to push Phai too far with it but still wanted to give a helping hand because he cared what it was doing to Phai.

"Yea right." Phai stayed on the more difficult side of things even though he understood Tolem was just trying to help.

"Oh come on Phai. You two are never going to be able to move on if you can't talk to each other."

"It's been two days since we've talked. He's avoiding me. We haven't even text or called eachother."

"Well you're avoiding him too. And if it helps he isn't really talking to anyone. He's been suspended for a freakin week. If that happened to me I wouldn't want to talk to anyone either."

"That's why I'm giving him his space." Phai reached over and zipped up his gym bag and no more than six seconds and another vented sigh later he gave Tolem 'that' look. That look that read he needed to ask something. "Did he and Cassy really get into it?" The question had been bothering him since the incident happened.

"Yea. Over you, if it makes you feel better." Tolem snickered, teasingly.

Phai rolled his eyes. And now for the next question that kept bothering him. "Did Alex really hurt Roxanne?"

"That's what everyone is saying." Tolem shrugged.

"Do you actually believe it?" Phai's eyes lifted up and towards his friend, his gaze deepening, hoping it wasn't true. And it didn't help that Tolem paused when they looked at eachother. "Oh come on Tolem, you don't believe he would do that?"

Tolem rubbed the back of his head. "Honestly I don't know. I love Alex, and I hate to say it, but the way he's been lately, who knows what actually happened. All I know is that Thais and Roxanne were there when they pulled Alex into the office. They said that he just sat there unresponsive, looking at them and he didn't deny anything the principal asked. He just accepted his punishment and left."

"Great. Now they're going to think he's some fucked up woman abuser all because of that stupid bitch Roxanne? Fuck that! and fuck her!" Phai crossed his arms, visibly upset.

Tolem was surprised at his sudden annoyance and temper and frowned. "I don't know Phai, but they had to do something, or else Roxanne's father would have filed a lawsuit claim against them. Alex should have tried to defend himself. If he didn't do anything to her I can't understand why he didn't atleast try to tell the truth."

"Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow." Something seemed to piss Phai off and it wasn't just his loathe for Roxanne and her little schemes. He just grabbed his things and upped and left the locker room.

* * *

><p>The dark skinned girl was laying on her couch wrapped in a red robe, watching the large TV in her living room. She looked lost in her mind not paying attention to the movie her father had put on for her. She was still trying to get over her first problem, which was the breakup where she felt Alex betrayed her in a sense. Thinking of the first problem then led to her second problem, which was Cassy, the one who provoked it in the first place, and that led to her last problem, Phai. She contemplated ideas in her head to make all of their lives a living hell, but the one she would make the most of, was his. Because he might have not provoked it, and he might have not been the one that broke her heart, but he was the center cause of it all. Alex loved him. Cassy wanted him and where did that leave her?<p>

_Reason One. Roxanne. It left her in a vengeful state of affairs. _

_She dreamed from the very first time she laid eyes on me that I was going to be hers forever. Kids just happen to have a head full of dreams and crazy ideas which may or may not come true. In Roxanne's case her dream didn't go as well as she hoped or planned. Although I ended it with Roxanne and she wanted nothing to do with me, something still tugged at her. Clearly I wasn't that easy to get over. I never knew what it was that she felt for me. I know it wasn't love. Maybe it was obsession. Maybe it was power she sought. Maybe it was because she needed someone to love her and I was the only man in her life with a big enough heart for her to control and take advantage of. Or maybe she did love me but had shitty ways in showing it. I don't know, but what I do know is that because she couldn't let me go, it made it harder for Phai and I to hold on._

* * *

><p>Cassy was walking down the street talking on is cell to Cleitus with his black jacket on, sunglasses and light blue jeans, and a cigarette in his unoccupied hand.<p>

"Nothing happened Cleitus. It all turned out to be just bullshit by the end of the day."

_"Bullshit my ass. You're always trying to start shit with him. I told you pissing him off would backfire. But you of course don't listen to me!"_

"Hey hold it buddy, nothing backfired. Nothing even really happened. We argued, that's it. And this time I didn't start it. Alex came at me first. It was all something Roxanne said to Phai, which he took out on me." Cassy explained defensively.

_"Uh-huh." _

"You don't believe me?" Cassy halted his walking.

_"Nope."_

"You can ask Phil, Crater and Leon. They were there and can tell you exactly what happened. Alex was the one to come to me first."

_"Cassy come on I know you well enough to know when you're lying out your ass."_

The teen sighed. "Okay, I admit I said a few things and it made him even more angry, but I wasn't the one to start the fight."

_"I still don't believe you."_

"Fuck you then." Cassy smirked when bringing the cigarette back to his mouth and continued to walk.

_"I have no objections. So what's this I'm hearing about Roxanne and Alex. Did they break up for real?"_

"If you considered them together than yes. Also maybe if you came to school once in awhile I wouldn't have to waste my time explaining the drama to you."

_"Fuck you. So I'm hearing that our little blue eyed buddy might be gay. Is that true?"_

"Where did you hear that?" Cassy puckered his brows with green eyes only a tiny bit astounded that the rumor was going around still. Or maybe Cleitus was just late to the game.

_"Duh, school." _The blacked haired friend repsonded with a deep chuckle.

"I know what's happening at school, because I actually go, who did you hear it from?" Cassy groaned.

_"Meh, some junior girl I sleep with every now and then. She said it's going around. Fill me in, does Phai really dig on dudes?"_

Cassy sighed, flicking his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. He didn't want to answer with the truth because he thought about the consequences if Phai were to find out. Also he would be a hypocrite if he went out and told everyone Phai was gay, when he himself craved him and couldn't admit it himself. Also Phai, knowing how Cassy feels about him, isn't that polite not to turn the favor.

_Reason Two: Cassy._

_Everybody at least has that one person envious of everything you have. That was Cassy towards me. I had Phai and he didn't. So he did everything in his power to get him. _

_Filled with charm and swaggering deceit, Cassy was number two on the list for why Phai and I broke it off. Same reason for Roxanne, but in an entire opposite situation, he couldn't let Phai go for the life of him. Phai being with someone like me was just unacceptable. Jealousy obviously had a lot to do with it but unlike Roxanne, who had reasons for her obsessive behavior, it wasn't that Cassy couldn't necessarily get over Phai, it was just that he wouldn't. Just in spite of me or something. It not only gave him the opportunity to challenge me especially since I was out of the picture but it also gave him time to change into that person Phai could tolerate and maybe even fall in love with. Cassy was a force to be reckoned with. I had no idea how powerful he was in the sense of his ability to get what he wanted, when he wanted, how he wanted. He had everything I did. Yes, even the determination and strength to win Phai's heart just with a different approach to his method. No one even to this day, still knows if Cassy truly loved Phai, just Cassy. _

"I don't know." He finally answered Cleitus. "Hey, listen, I'll call you back."

_"Yea, yea, later. Be careful with Alex though."_

"Sure." Cassy hung up the phone and walked into the small coffee shop he had stopped in front of. He removed his sunglasses and smirked his nasty smirk, with his sharp green eyes as he approached the counter to bother Tolem. "Working hard I see. I never expected anything less from you Tols. Nice apron."

"Screw you Cassy and get out."

"Hey don't speak to me that way. I'm a potential customer. Besides I'm ordering something." Cassy smiled as he leaned on the counter to check out the menu.

Tolem walked over to the counter. "Sorry I can't do your usual. Phai's not here." He said sarcastically knowing well why Cassy intended to stop by and pay him a visit. "You can however order something else. We have a great 'get the hell out' special. It sells pretty well."

Cassy chuckled. "Aw, it seems though that I'm not that interested so how about instead of the special, I just get a tall cup of black coffee." He placed ten dollars on the counter, smiling widely.

Tolem snatched the money, put it into the register and grinned evilly at Cassy while not giving back his change. "Is that it for you. No cream or sugar?"

"All of the above please."

Tolem just rolled his eyes and went to go make his coffee.

Cassy watched Tolem work and then pushed away from the counter. "Also speaking of Phai, have you talked to him yet?"

"I have actually."

"And?"

"He's not interested, just like I told you." Tolem handed him his coffee. "Also isn't this low of you, to come in here and bother me about Phai?"

"If you didn't want me to bother you, you could have called me, or texted me, or maybe said something to me at school so that I wouldn't have to be here. So now I'm here." Cassy grinned.

Tolem stepped out from behind the counter ignoring him to go wipe down tables and Cassy just followed him. "Did you even tell him what I said?"

"Even if I did, would that change his mind, no. He thinks you're a jerk Cassy. That's it. The end. Now go away and stop stalking me at my job."

Cassy moved in close to Tolem, leaning on the table he was cleaning and Tolem stopped what he was doing and glared up at the meaned eye boy. Cassy smirked."Tols even in that nerdy geeked out heart of yours, no matter how much loyalty you have for Alex, you wouldn't mind Phai ending up with me."

Tolem chuckled antagonistically. "Is that what you think?"

"Yep." His affect was durable.

"Why would I want Phai to have anything to do with you?"

"That's not really your decision to make now is it? Phai will soon give in to me. That's how it always happens. It's just a slow process at the moment. He'll reconsider what he has now only to find out he needs better."

"I wouldn't be a good friend if I allowed Phai anywhere near you."

"I'm not that bad. Not like a certain someone else you and I both know."

"What the hell are you even talking about?" Tolem's patience was running thin.

"Oh Tolem can't you see how Alex is? And Phai can't be with someone like him. At least I'm consistent in my feelings and what Phai see's with me he gets, Alex not so much. And you and I both know what Alex will eventually become. So if you're really looking out for your friend, tell him to be careful around his blonde little steed." The sandy haired teen smirked. "Think about it. He is his fathers son afterall. Thanks for the coffee." Then he took his coffee and left the store.

Tolem tossed the wet rag on the table, watching Cassy through the glass windows of the shop walk across the street. Then he looked back at the wet table and continued back to his work.

_Cassy despite being a complete dick, knew what he was talking about. I was my fathers son and even though he and I shared no love towards eachother, my dad still remained the biggest male influence in my life, because that's all I had to learn from. Correction that's all I had. Even though he was never there for me._

_Tolem came to me years later in regret admitting that he wanted it. That he wanted Phai to end up with Cassy. He wanted to see how it would have ended up with those two. He wanted to see if Phai could change Cassy and make him a better person. And when I asked him if he preferred Phai with Cassy instead of me, he didn't need to answer. And I didn't need to ask because even I felt Phai would be better off with Cassy after how I turned out. _

* * *

><p>Alex was laying in his room, his back on the floor, staring up at his 'non' so interesting ceiling but staring with much focus, like their was a significance in the bland structure. Always so much going on in his head he was surprised he was actually thinking about nothing. There just seemed to be an infinite nothingness that his eyes could see. Something he was looking into but nothing being there.<p>

Reality wasn't graspable until he felt his phone vibrating on the floor next to him. Monotonous, coherent eyes blinked and he turned slowly to look at the annoying buzzing device. It had been ringing all day. He already knew what the vibrating was. Everyone. All of his friends blowing up his cell with texts wondering where he had been lately and wondering about his breakup with Roxanne. Some were excited, some not, some disbelieving, but mostly everyone thought it was just a rumor, wanting to know if it was true or not. But he refused to answer any texts concerning her because he needed to forget. He refused to talk to anyone actually. He was angry that Roxanne had to have any feelings for him. He was angry that everyone was making a big deal out of it. He was angry that he didn't tell her earlier. He was angry that people were calling it a break up when they were never together to start. He was angry that it was his fault to begin with. He was angry he never once told Phai that he loved him. The king in him was making it hard for him to know how. He was making it hard for him to do anything and while _this_ Alexander the king sat on his throne feeding his own ego, Alex the boy was suffering just trying to keep his soul from starving. The king consuming him from the inside out.

But he stared at his cell phone because he also needed to talk. He needed to talk to someone who would listen. Someone who wouldn't mention something he's trying to forget.

_There were so many questions I needed answers to before I went forward. _

_I had started to receive stronger images flashing through my brain; I think the clearer the visions, it came with age as I matured more. I still don't know but if it would have gotten any stronger I just might have ended my life myself, because the pain was starting to become too much. It was a big part of my life now. The more clarity the visions gave, the more pain I suffered through. Just to give you an idea what it feels like, every time I get one, my head starts to pound vigorously. Then I get a feeling that my head is being split open. Not by anything sharp but by something dull. My eyes feel like they are being pulled into the back of my skull and my throat tightens and breathing becomes heavy. And I struggle fighting and reaching for the air to keep me alive. It's not a good feeling. Most of the pain I don't remember because I try to forget. But if it was a 'gift' like my doctor said it was then the reasons for a breakup seemed perfectly valid. And Alexander, the man that was me but the man I never knew, was a cause of it. _

_Clear scenes of who I was as king was just one reason why I couldn't proceed in my life with Phai by my side. And what I learned from those visions right away was that King Alexander was a bad lover. And since he was a bad lover, I thought of myself as a bad person, and lover who Phai deserved more from. I hate to say that about myself but the truth hurts and it's the truth I needed. The visions showed me how I treated my lover. Always leaving him alone. Alone in a darkness. Pushed to where I can only see him and the only thing with him was his own shadow and the sight of my greed. Sure he was misunderstood. Yes, he allowed the alcohol he consumed to talk more than he should have and yes, he was drowned in difficult times. I would know, we're the same freakin people but the fact was Phai didn't deserve it. Period. So I held myself accountable for the kings actions. But what I didn't know at the time, was how much I misunderstood and didn't know myself. At all. _

_After these more dramatic visions, I thought only two things. One, that my future wasn't supposed to be with Phai and what we had and shared together was a one time thing and that us being true lovers we could just forget about, because that was just a myth in my head. Two, that my vision wasn't a vision at all but a dream. A false dream. But since I can't sleep and dreams only arrive when one actually rests, then the first one has to be true. So maybe I should stop calling my visions dreams. Because dreams I desire. And a__t the time I didn't know what happened between us but I wished it was a dream._

_ A lot of things were the cause, but now as I speak with you, I fully understand why, because it was none other than I who gave him up. I let him go. And I know why._

_Reason Three: The tyrant in me wasn't deserving of loving someone such as Phai. _

Just when he scrolled down to Phai in his contacts, he stared at the name for awhile before skipping him and decided to dial his mother instead. He waited, hearing the constant rings and she finally answered.

_"Hello sweetie."_

He just blinked, with waiting eyes as if he was still waiting for his mother to pick up.

_"__Alex, darling are you there?"_

He blinked once more wondering why he wasn't responding. It's not like this was the first time he's ever lost voice and forgot how to answer. But was it his mothers voice he was actually seeking to hear. Or was it someone else?

_'Hun?"_

"Yea_. _Hey mom." He finally spoke, but something about his words didn't sound driven or accessible.

She knew, just by being his mother that something was immediately wrong. _"You sound tired. Is something wrong?"_

"Yea, kind of. Are you busy?"

"_I always have time for you. Tell me what's wrong."_

"I thought I knew what I was supposed to do. But now I don't know what that is."

_"Do with what?"_

"My life. My future maybe. Try dignity." He murmured as he ran a lucid hand down his weary face.

_"Daring, I've always told you, in life, you do what you need."_

"What if I don't have that time to do what I need to do?"

"_You can only make what's best of your time Alex. Not everyone is successful and not everyone gets what they want in life, but everyone has to work hard for what they want but they must be willing."_

"I did work hard. And I do have what I want but why do I feel like I can't keep it. Why do I feel regretful? Why am I rejecting everything I worked so hard to get? I'm talking about everything I became strong for. I told myself in the very beginning that I would find what I want, take it and live in relief that my dreams have been confirmed. I have it now, but why do I not feel any comfort yet. I feel like I'm living my life in two different places and one is reality and one is not, but I don't know which one is real. I'm really confused right now because all I can think of is if this phone call is real or not. You're probably not real and I'm talking to someone completely different and I just don't know it. But I bet you will tell me that I'm wrong because what you're seeing, hearing and touching is real to you. So am I real or not?"

"_Honey what are you talking about? Ofourse you're real. Are you alright?"_

Something out of nowhere pulled and swarmed in his head. He closed his eyes tight bracing himself before fighting another vision from coming "Nothing. I'll call you another time." He hung up quickly and tossed the phone away from him as he grabbed at his hair, wanting to pull it out, if that gave him any relief at all. He was holding all attempts back at screaming as his headache returned less merciful than last. He stayed their counting his breaths while trying to function as he fought the outlook of his new vision.

/

_The two have another moment by each others side as they admire the wonderful beauties the sky befalls upon the golden kingdom. _

_The general looks up to the sky. __**The world will eventually be yours Alexander**__. He turns to his King and lover. __**Why do you keep chasing dreams?**_

_The king lifts his hand towards the sunrays. Seeing something his lover could not. His smile falls into place. __**It's destined for me, Phai.**_

_His general recognizes that the king has been chasing dreams all his life and his heart races hearing that response. He watches the king breathe in and breathe out. _

_**I dream all the time about this life Phai. But there is another life out there. Somewhere.**_

_The brunette afraid of that answer closes his eyes. Sad to be losing his lover to the world. __**Is love a dream to you? Is love a dream worth chasing? **__**I know I've told you over and over, but I can't help but fear for you Alexander. I fear of losing you to this world you so love so much.**_

_**Fear not Hephaistion.**_

_**As long as we're alive, I will continue to do so. The world you dream of won't be able to take care of you as much as I can. You will be consumed and lost wondering what to do.**_

_**I know. I'm reckless. You've told me. **__He chuckles._

_**It's not that. **__The general captures the king's wrist and pulls him in closer. He's become serious. _

_**What is it Phai? **__Alexander recognizes his lover's teary blue eyes. They're dim. __**I won't be able to live without you. So promise me that when we die, I go first.**_

_**What are you talking about?**_

_**I won't be able to manage without you, when the world is yours and you forget about me. You've told me before, to have it, is the most important thing. Isn't that your number one goal my Alexander? To have the entire world at your feet?**_

_**Why do you think I'm going to leave you for this world?**_

_The general looks down and smiles shortly. **Saying it like that doesn't feel so bad.** He looks back up._

_**I won't feel right, if you're gone and away Hephaistion. One day we'll break free from everything and we'll explore the mountains, and the seas. **__His hands touch the soft skin of his lover's wet face. __**You're my moon that guides my footsteps in the dark. I will never leave you here. Alone.**_

_**\**_

The entire session lasted five minute and his throat finally un-knotted and he was able to empty his rapid breaths. He sat up leaning against his bed panting. After he calmed down, he stood and left his bedroom. He walked down the stairs and into his father's office. Phillip was working on things involving filling out paper work for his job and looked up at his kid.

"What do you want? I'm working."

Alex wasn't nervous. "On what. You're out of work so it can't be that important."

"I'll be back to work soon. Did you just come down here to insult me boy? You know I have more ways than one, in kicking your little ass."

"I would never insult you dad. I talked to mom just now."

"So?"

"Don't you care?"

"No. Now leave, I'm busy."

Alex watched him take a sip from his coffee and try to concentrate back on what he was doing.

"I need to tell you something. I need your attention though."

Phillip surprisingly stopped what he was doing respecting somewhat his son's courage to interrupt him like that. "You have two minutes."

"I only need ten seconds. I'm in love with someone."

"Pfft, love? You don't know the meaning of it boy." Phillip chuckled lightheartedly amused at his sons supposed declaration of guilt.

"Do you?" Alex challenged already knwoing damn well his parents relationship was already down the drain. These were the same two people who claimed to love eachother when they got married. And these were also the same two people who said that love gave them a beautiful baby boy. What a different road he was on now.

"It's meant to kill. I suggest you rethink how much you really care about this person." Phillip almost came off as mocking.

"It's funny how you smile when you're giving bad advice."

"It's all the advice that's needed."

"I'm serious dad. Even if it does kill me."

Phillip grinned and crossed his arms against his powerful chest staring up at his awkward but intelligent son. "Since you think you're ready for the challenge, who is this special someone? Do I know her?"

"Yea the neighbor kid. By the way I'm going out for awhile." He turned to leave but his dad halted him.

"How long are you going to be out this time?"

"Why does it matter to you?" Alex asked neutrally.

"Because I'm your father and you can think whatever you want about me boy, I still care. What have you been doing the last couple of nights? You haven't been home. Your friends been calling asking where you've been. What have you been doing?"

"I like to take walks. I also drive around."

"Walks till six in the morning?" Phillip didn't believe that one. But then again who would.

"Yea." Alex nodded.

"Where do you go?"

"Places. Just around." The teen turned to leave again.

"Hey, you better be ready to go back to school tommorow."

"Okay." Alex didn't argue.

"You still talk to that one weird kid who you hung out with all the time? What's with his family. They're freaking weird. His dad always waves at me and smiles. You should stay away from them."

"That's what neighbors do." Alex couldn't help but smile just a bit.

"Too friendly for me. Oh and the little girl, I always hear her screaming."

"She gets excited about alot of things."

"And the kid you hang out with, is he gay?"

Alex was shocked his father asked. He didn't even know how to answer without being conspicuously eye catching. "Why?" he asked. He knew it was his fathers way to start conversation and the bonding thing, when he asked random, weird and out of place questions but asking if his friend was gay?

"I dont know I just have this feeling. He's just too pretty." His father was still deep in his work.

"Many guys at school do find him attractive. Me included."

"I'm hoping you like him for his girly looks." Phillip commented and wasn't taking him serious at all. "I think his dad is gay."

"Let me guess, because he keeps looking at you whenever your outside."

"Yes, what else am I supposed to think?"

The blonde didn't say anythng to that and left the office letting his father get back to his work. It was almost comedic that his dad would even think that and actually let it bother him.

"And if you want to come back into this house you better apologize to me boy."

Alex removed his hand from the door and groaned. "What did I do this time?"

"Thinking I don't care about you."

Alex knew his dad wasn't expecting a reply, or an answer or even acknowledgement, so he left the front door and closed the door quietly. In some ways he felt good about it. In some ways he didn't care or bleieve it. Glad that his dad got it off his chest. But the king he felt in him was very emotional so he still took his fathers words to heart. One thing that he was starting to learn about this king was that if he was pushed the wrong way it was bad for a lot of people. Alexander was a mad man. That was the best way he could put it but Alex was just a young adult, managing and balancing his feelings and the king's feelings and doing it very well for the most part, especially since the king in him was trying to wake up.

Alex started to walk down the sidewalk. He found himself smiling while taking a long stroll in the moonlight. He enjoyed the peace and quiet of the neighborhood. He had to smile just to tell himself the confession to his father wasn't all that bad. Even though he didnt say any names, he still let him know that he was in love. Alex took out his cell phone. He scrolled to Phai's name.

/

**_Hey Alexander! Where are you walking too? _**_His future general left his room to catch up with him._

**_Nowhere now. Just hoping to get lost somewhere. _**_The young prince whispered as he snuck out of the palace with his friend right behind. _

**_But it's late. Too late to want to get lost. A prince should always have company! _**_His blue eyed friend, didn't comprehend the blondes decision._

**_I know. _**_The prince whined annoyed of being babied._**_ But I'm okay with it._**

_The blue eyed boy stopped following after his friend, feeling unwelcomed._

**_What are you doing Phai?! _**_Alexander looked back after taking a few more steps. _

**_Well, do you need some company? I mean do you want it? _**_The future general and bodyguard asked sadly. __Afraid his prince didn't want him around._

_The prince knew how he felt. He walked up to him with a charming little smile.__Trying to cheer him up._**_ That would be nice. I would love that actually._**

**_I just don't want you to get lost by yourself. I will be very sad if you did._**

**_Come with me then. Let's get lost together. _**_The young prince reached out his hand for his friends hand._

_\_

Alex thought he felt someone come up beside him, taking his hand. And when he looked, Phai wasn't there, no matter how real his visions were. He put his cell away instead of calling him and walked down the sidewalk into the night, deciding he'd rather get lost by himself.

* * *

><p>The music class was just getting out and all the students were clearing and sauntering out. Thais and Roxanne were laughing and chatting behind as they packed up their instruments. They weren't expecting to see him but Alex stopped by the room. This was his first day back in a week and if he looked shittier when she saw him last, he looked worst now.<p>

He cleared his dry throat. "Roxanne can we talk?"

"Why don't you just leave Alex? She doesn't want to talk to you."

This time it was Thais serving an attitude towards him while Roxanne just ignored him the best she could, which she did really well. Alex understood completely why Thais was angry at him and why Roxanne was too. And he also knew that Roxanne and Thais were very close friends and he wasn't there to ruin their friendship. And even though Thais knew Roxanne could be snotty and bitchy at times, she did not know her true nature. Alex at that time hardly knew Roxanne's true nature but other than that it was under Thais own opinion that any man to touch a woman like that didn't deserve any respect.

"You're not even going to allow me to say that I'm sorry?"

"Haven't you done enough?" Thais snapped. "Come on Roxanne. I know you have other things to worry about."

Alex moved aside, against the door, out of their way as they both grabbed their things and shoved by him, leaving him in the music room. He sighed. Nothing ever serving him any sort of justice. He ran hands through his hair as he walked inside the room more, looking around at the setup, instruments and anything until his next class started. With a deep unenergetic sigh he sat at the piano bench. He tossed his backpack down next to him and all he wanted to do was sleep. He wanted to know what it felt like. He wanted everything to be normal again. Whatever normal was to him. He closed his eyes, and if he was being honest with himself, he expected school to be shitty the first day back.

_Do you ever get those days where nothing goes your way? Nothing good happens? Everything is depressing and theirs a fucking storm just following you everywhere you go? _

_Well that's been my entire life plus an extra shit week. After I was suspended for not just 'putting hands on a student,' but also suspended for violating the girl's private locker room, I distanced myself to everyone. Even to Phai. The only reason I talked to Roxanne is because I did feel bad, for breaking her heart and putting my hands on her. But also because the principal of the school demanded that I'd try to apologize, obviously so the school doesn't look bad on my behalf. I wasn't angry that I was suspended. Disappointed in myself yes, but since I was a straight A student most of the time, the higher ups recognized my potential that I was a good student and showed me mercy as you will. Honestly it could have been a much longer suspension. Most schools don't tolerate abuse, even though that's not what I did, but that's what was claimed and perceived despite the truth._

_Reason four for our possible breakup was based around my own insecurities. __Phai felt I needed my space and after what he's seen I don't blame him._

_What I did care about was what Phai thought of me. Especially after everything that had happened. I couldn't even think of him, or look at him, afraid of the reaction he might have if he believed anything about the talk going around. All I wanted was to be this idea of perfection in his eyes, even though I knew it wasn't possible or likely.__ As much as he told me he wanted to be there for me, I reflexively wouldn't allow it. His reactions to me in pain from the migraines I was getting from this stupid condition of never sleeping, was hard for him. It was horrifying. He couldn't just start another day and look over everything. He was scared for me all the time. I didn't want that. I didn't want pity and I didn't want to make excuses for why it has to happen. Even though he rarely witnessed me in my suffering process, normally only when he slept over at my place or when we would just go to the shed in the field, there was just something unnatural and weird about never seeing me sleep or take a nap. I couldn't close my eyes for even twenty seconds. So...what did I do. I spent most of my time going out for night walks not to return home till the very late morning. To get away. From everything. And the only thing I wanted to get away from, I couldn't, because it was me. Yes I was insecure. So insecure, the people who came to know me as this brash, overconfident, egotistical human being, this mighty king of the world, wouldn't even know what kind of shit I've been through. Fuckers had no idea. No idea that I was lonely. That I was sad. They never even knew that I was in love. Or that I could love. And that's what I wanted. To escape the reality that I questioned so much. To escape the only person I ever fucking loved and before I knew it, I was mentally bracing myself, knowing there __would be a time where Phai eventually gets tired of me not letting him in. And since we are already on the topic of insecurities, I am a fucking screw up. That is a fact about me you should never forget. _

The blonde, was leaning on the keyboard part of the piano as he messed and played with a couple of the keys, mindlessly, listening to the pitches echoing through the quiet dark room. Then he straightened up and slid his fingers to the center keys. He sighed again as he played short notes, listening to the different sounds the keys made. He hadn't played a piano in so long it was hard to remember back when he actually did and he situated himself to see if he still knew how. His right hand slid to the right of the keyboard and he started tapping the keys there.

Then he started to resonate quietly to himself as he played a familiar soft and eccentric melody on the piano_. '__Alone, left here in dust...amidst my fears and doubts…' _He scooted up more on the stool as his left foot met the pedal. '_Life's shattered dreams... I could have done without.' _His hands moved with grace_._

_ 'Now chthonic life has set its sights on making me a slave to its ways." _He laughed inwardly._ 'I wait for return, until then my soul, it burns… and it burns... only for you...'_  
>He smiled. <em>"And i'll be with you soon..and I'll be with you soon.'<em>

_So you learn something new about me. Yes, I can sing. I can do music. Very well. It was hidden talent that I've always had but never shared because a long time ago in a world far away you ight have heard this story but my father told me to leave singing for the little girls and slaves. I was teased by fellow friends that I sang like a woman. Then generations after generations, people got this idea of me that I sang horribly just because they read it somewhere. You see we didn't understand music as it was back then. It was for just women and if a man was caught singing he was considered unworthy. They were wrong. _

His voice was strong yet soothing. Nothing feminine about it. '_Night, it falls on me endlessly, I search for you in this blindness. A prodigy of lust and loss till sleep comes down_

_...sleep comes down...'_

He shuts his lethargic but dynamic eyes._ 'I can't explain, but disdain remains...__some treason I can't reason.' _He opened his eyes because he couldn't keep them closed for long._ 'They left me here for dead my dear, b__arely breathing, but I'm still breathing...'_

Then he stopped. Alex looked over towards the door. Phai was standing there just looking at him. The brunette teen looked like he didn't know whether to go in and compliment him or just shocked that Alex was there and that they were staring at eachother with nothing to say. It was a plethora of reasons. He didn't know what to do because even like Alex, he didn't have guts to go and just talk to him. It seemed easy to stare though. None of them even said hi to eachother but Phai did sneak in a shy conceived smile before he turned uncomfortable thinking he walked in on something private, and quickly left for his next class, leaving Alex alone. And once Phai dissappeared from his sight like he was never there to begin with, Alex turned back towards the keyboard and went back to just pressing one key over and over again. He smiled because Phai had smiled. It was just too bad he didn't share that smile when Phai gave his.

He stayed put where he was at for awhile longer, trying it again. Closing his eyes and counting to see how long he could keep them closed...

He was hoping for thirty seconds longer but only fifteen seconds came to him. He opened his eyes, grabbed his bag and headed to class.

* * *

><p>Phai watched the rain fall as he looked out his window. He was biting his nails nervously, eyes observing the water drops slipping down the glass outside his room. Eyes observing the window from the house next to his. He had been working on his homework before his distraction kicked in when he decided to think about Alex and why he wasn't talking to anybody. It had already been the entire week of his suspension after what everyone claimed he had done to Roxanne and seeing Alex back was compelling on so many levels. It was like seeing the sunrise for the very first time but the gold fire of gas instead of completing its rise just stops at the horizon line. And the worried teen pacing about couldn't help but think it was his fault. Maybe that's why Alex wasn't talking to him. He should have never got Alex worked up. He should have never told him anything Roxanne had shared with him that night.<p>

_I think Phai despised my passion. The passion I had for him, my ambition, my passion to challenge everybody and everything. Especially the passion of curiosity. It's a funny thing to hate in somebody but I know Phai had his reasons. All he had to do is look back and see how everything in my life took affect on the way I turned out to be. This supposed 'passion' put him through alot of shit. It became a dangerous part in my life aswell. I let it take control absent thought of what I was doing. It got me into trouble, it hurt me most times but it definitly influenced Phai the most because he was the one dealing with my excessive perceptive temperament, because he loved and cared for me. That alone should tell you how much of a wonderful human being Phai was and what a great lover he was to me. Always putting me first above everything else. And I mean everything. But don't get me wrong, high maintenance I might have been, but I never put him last. Ever! He was always first in my head and the last person I ever thought about. The issue he had with me was that I never put myself first, even if that was the act I was playing aorund with for the longest time._

The teen turned when he heard two small knocks on his door. Amyntor was there with a concerned fatherly look on his face. "Hey." He said quietly. "Uh, your mom told me that you seemed upset about something. Thought I would just check up on you."

"She always thinks I'm upset about everything." He slumped on his bed, looking with big bothered eyes at his dad.

"What do you expect her to think when you come home from school with nothing to say to anybody. You're always in your room before we can even say how your day was." Amyntor was looking around his sons room like it was the first time he had been in there.

"Why does she even care? School is school, nothing changes."

"That's not what I heard from your friends."

"What did they say?" Phai moaned, ultimately annoyed by them at the moment.

"That a certain someone was suspended. Is that true?" Amyntor thought it best not to mention names because he still knew how uncomfortable Phai was, still mentioning Alex around him.

"Yea." Phai averted his eyes. "And that's definitly something I'm going to avoid talking to you and mom about."

"Why?" Amyntor asked, serious.

The teen shook his head. "Because you won't understand. And it's personal."

Even though they had come to terms on Phai's earlier confession, Phai was still isolating himself towards his dad, while his dad was trying more and more to involve himself with his sons life. Which wasn't working out for either of them yet.

"Do you think that I wouldn't care?" His dad asked trying to stay reasonable.

"The problem is that you would care. Probably too much. You're acting like you and I didn't have that discussion about me liking Alex. And you're acting like you're not bothered by it. It's awkward talking to you because I don't know what you're really thinking."

His father knew eventually Phai would come at him with the trust side of their relationship. "That's not fair to me Phai."

Phai leaned up from his bed. "What's not fair is you pretending to be okay with it but not letting me know that it's bothering you."

"Why do you think I'm still upset?"

"Because I know you dad. You shut down when you think I'm not around."

Amyntor sighed after he placed his hands on his hips. He looked down at the floor, musing about something. "Look, we talked about this. We talked about how I would need time. I'm trying Phai."

"I regret telling you and I hate to feel this way dad I just do."

"So?"

"So what?" Phai frowned confused.

"Is Alex the reason why you're moping around lately?"

"Yea." Phai admitted sweetly as he looked away from his dad. Again with the sad eyes. "I told you I wasn't going to talk to you about it."

"I thought you two were okay?" His father persisted.

"Something happened at school and I said something to him that I maybe shouldn't have said."

"Do you want my advice?"

"Not really."

"Well..." Amyntor look at his watch. "He lives right next door. It's not too late. How about you go over there, and apologize." It ended up being that simple and his dad kissed him on top of his head. Then he left the room. Phai pretty much knew that meant for him to get off his whiny ass and do something about it.

But because it wasn't that simple, he had to think about it for another thirty minutes before he finally slipped on his boots and threw a jacket on. He wasn't prepared for what happened next. He found himself before the front door of his friends house with nothing ready or prepared to say. But he didn't want to look like an idiot just standing there so he rung the door bell, and just when he was hoping Alex would answer, it wasnt. Phillip opened the door instead, shirt off, grey sweats, liquor bottle of Cognac in his hand, and as mean looking as ever, then Phai remembered that Phillip's car was in the driveway when he walked up and why he didn't think of that.

Phai blushed just because of the no shirt part. Alex's father might have been notorious for never wearing a shirt. Always naked on top, when he checked the mail, fetched the newspaper, mowed the lawn, smoked. Always. "Uhm, is Alex here?"

Phillip looked at him weird. "Who are you?"

"I'm Alex's friend. I live next door. I actually come here all the time." Phai answered slightly offended, with extra confusion on his face. The older man didn't even take into account the boldness of the boys statement probably because he was too buzzed.

"Oh yea." Phillip nodded. "I remember you." He stepped aside. "He's in his room."

"Thanks." Phai walked in slowly feeling weirded out and uncomfortable. Phillip came off as a scary man. Always frowning, with deep dark brown hair, and built very strong for an older guy.

"Theres some beer in the fridge." Phai felt intimidated by the older man when Phillip looked at him awkward one last time before leaving him and going back to his office work. He was probably used to Alex's friends coming in whenever they wanted, that someone actually knocking was not normal to him.

Phai walked up the stairs slowly. Like he was about to walk through some mysterious looking cave. It felt awkward because most of the time the parents would call their kid down. But Phai felt the distance between father and son right away just by being in the house. It was dark and the only lights on were the lights in the downstairs office and a light on up stairs. When he made it up the stairway he walked before Alex's door. It was half opened and he gave himself atleast ten seconds before calling for Alex quietly, not entering the room completely but peeping in just slightly. When he didn't get an answer probably due to the blonde standing by his bed with just a towel around his waist while vigurously drying his hair with a smaller towel, he blushed even more. It was a sight he thought he'd never see again. Phai cleared his throat shyly and knocked feebly on the door again.

Alex turned.

"Hey." Phai said smiling, hoping this wasnt a big mistake. Or a bad time.

"Hey." The blonde said back and that was good enough for Phai. Alex was staring at him like Phai was some new beginning. Like he was a statue of magnificence.

"Uh, your dad let me in. I think he forgot who I was?"

"Is he drinking?"

"Yea."

"That's probably why."

Phai stood their nervously for a second. "Are you avoiding me Alex?"

"Maybe." It was easily said as the blonde teen shrugged.

His eyes were different. More assured, definite. He, himself was more confident. More manly and Phai found it hard to keep eye contact.

"I saw you today in the music room. Where did you learn to sing like that?"

"My mom used to sing to me all the time when I was young. She thought that would help me sleep. I stopped singing when my dad told me that singing was for little girls. I told myself, he's absoultely right I won't waste my time." He sounded nonchalant. But his stare stayed attached to the beautiful man standing across him.

"I think you're voice is amazing."

"Thanks."

Since the blonde was staring so seriously Phai thought he should keep up with talking. "I mean I wish you had told me you could sing and play music."

"I thought you wouldn't care."

"You thought wrong."

"My mistake." Alex was just killing him with that stare.

Phai started to walk around the room. Because Alex staring at him was working his nerves. In a good way. "So I heard about the rumors. About Roxanne saying that you hurt her. I know you didn't. You're not that type of person. No matter what you want everyone else to think."

"I'm not so sure about that. I wish I had strangled her."

Phai didnt know what to think. Alex was acting unusual. He was absolutely serious when he had said that. No emotion behind the words to attach on. Phai walked over to him. "No you don't. You would have never forgiven yourself."

_That was just Phai hoping to save me from myself. Because, yes. I would have forgiven myself. It would have gave me closure to have actually strangled the living shit out of her. There was so much anger in me towards Roxanne, for what seemed like no reason that I understood, yet. _

"Maybe. Maybe not." Alex said tossing the towel he used to dry his hair on his bed.

"You don't think I know you enough to know the real reason why you refused to defend yourself about Roxanne. Alex you wanted the suspension so that you wouldn't have to see me."

"Possibly."

"No that's a fact." Phai grinned. "I just want to let you know I will give you all the time in the world away from me, if that's what you want but just know that whatever your reason is to not wanting to be around me, I understand."

"I missed you."

Phai smiled. "I missed you too. Are you okay?"

"Yea."

"Are you okay with other things?"

_I knew he was speaking of my health. I remember just looking at him, thinking, that whatever I answer would be another big part in us splitting up. _

_I went to see my doctor during my suspension week. And he told me something I didn't want to hear. We all know that prolonged periods of sleeplessness can be fatal. There are times where I feel disconnected to reality. My thoughts are distorted and I've been losing more focus on important things. And there are times when I am so tired that not being able to sleep makes me even more tired. I figured well in order for the body to function properly, it has to sleep, but that is a myth I was told from my physcian. At first I was okay with it. I excercised, ate healthy, kept my body in shape, thought positive, only to find out, it's doing nothing for me. My immune system is shutting down, very slowly and unless I sleep, I will die young. So they ran a test. They kept me at the hospital overnight. They drugged me up on sleeping medicine. Hooked me up to a machine. And I fell asleep. For the first time. I don't know how long I was asleep but I immediately woke up. I was coughing up water, I felt like I was drowning somewhere. I couldn't breath because I was choking. I thought I was going to die again. I was hoping I would die again. This time forever. _

_Reason five: I failed to mention to Phai about other symptoms. Vomiting, blurry eyesight, hallucinations. That's how bad it had turned. I failed to mention that the sickness caused more problems than just migraines. One, He couldn't understand why I preferred no help. Two, he hated that I refused to go to the doctor appointments. Three, he hated that I let it get worse. Four, the reaosn for everything, the thing Phai hated most, was me telling him that everything was okay. I was lying to him. And I continued to lie alot about my health. But understand this, my doctor also told me to stress less and stop thinking about what ever was on my mind because whatever I was thinking about, whatever was stressing me out, was actually killing me faster. That stress, that thing on my mind was Phai. Apparently thinking about him twenty four seven was killing me. So I took my doctors advice. However it didn't go the way I wanted it to. I tried my hardest to stay away from Phai, hoping maybe I would forget about my purpose in life. But I never stopped thinking about him and the irony continued to kill me. So how would I let Phai know that? How would I tell him 'Phai you're killing me! Stop being amazing.' I can't. _

"I'm fine. Went to my doctor. He found nothing unusual. Everything is staying consistent." Alex lied.

"Good. I'm glad. I was so worried." Phai smiled sweetly. "I'm always afraid I'm going to lose you."

Alex strolled up to him, brought him against his bedroom wall and started to push down Phai's pants away from his waist. Phai breathed in deeply not expecting the close contact. Not expecting anything really. Well he was expecting something. He was expecting the blonde to be pissed at him.

Alex started playing towards his neck with his hot moist mouth. Phai clutched his hands around Alex's strong biceps. Phai didn't understand this feeling. This feeling Alex had over him. The blonde was harsh, yet careful, aggressive yet tender. Nothing innocent about his kisses, but still compassionate. Alex never came onto him like this. Whenever they explored eachother sexually, they always settled first, and Phai came on to Alex most of the time. Why did his dad tell him to go over and apologize?

Phai let Alex molest him. He shut his eyes as Alex kissed the hell out of his neck and wet shoulder, from the water droplets falling onto him, from the blonde strands of stringy hair. "God I missed you." The vibration of Alex's lips as it moved against his lovers skin caused the brunette to shiver.

_I think this was me, finally turning into a man. Finally letting the king come out and play. I felt powerful, rebelious, reckless, all knowing, yet I was the owner of my decision. I felt like I knew how to touch Phai in every way he liked. Satisfying him to no end as the king expressed himself through me. I wanted to make Phai feel like he was the best person in the entire world. That he was the most important person ever to enter my life. That he was the most beautiful man to ever walk the planet. I wanted him to feel sepcial. To feel good. I didn't care that my father was just downstairs. What was he going to do about it, if let's say he caught us? Nothing because there was nothing he could say or do that would stop me from loving Phai._

_ And being uncommon in the department of failing, I suceeded that night._

Phai slammed Alex against another wall, interrupting his mouth by parting his lips and invading it with tongue. He tried to be quiet and less passionate but he wanted more and he held Alex closer to him, afraid if he let him go, even inches off him, he would not see him again for another week. They focused little on how much noise they were making and more on the actual moment. Alex crossed his fingers inbetween Phai's and held his hand so fixed, bringing it above their heads along the supporting wall. His body pressed against Alex's flexed and contracted muscles which made his skin tense and anticipated. Then Phai took it upon himself and undid Alex's towel secured at his hips.

Phillip left his desk because he needed to get something from his room. He sighed tired of work as he walked towards the bottom of the stairs. Alex turned Phai around having him face the wall. He kissed the back of his neck while holding a handful of his lovers hair in his hand. Phillip began walking up the stairs, dragging his weight. Phai bit down his teeth stopping the moans from escaping all the way, as Alex pushed deeply in him. They didn't care or think about the use of protection. They needed to get into that habit but not tonight.

Phillip's room was just at the end of the hall, across from his sons room. When Phillip stopped before his sons room, the door half way opened, he pushed open the door quietly.

His son was handling sexually the next door neighbor kid. Phai moaning in oblivious pleasure, versus his sons dick deep inside his pretty friend. Alex taking charge of the situation. Alex being a different man, and man enough to satisfy him. They were both breathing heavily, and Alex turned and look at his father.

What Phillip saw in his son was a dark almost evil smile, maturity but something to fear evolving in his eyes, looking at him, vengeful almost, guiltless, content letting him know something. That this was his life. He could try to stop him, he could say something, but so far Alex wasn't cowering or embarrassed as he continued to make the unaware browned haired teen, whimper fervently. Alex has caught Phillip banging his new lady friend almost all the time, so this time, it was his turn to catch him. Alex finally looked away from his dad and continued to love and pleasure the beautiful boy against him.

Phillip went back to his office chair and sat down heavily. He didn't start back up what he was doing. Too much was on his mind. His dark eyes left his papers as he thought over what his son had told him about being in love. It didn't hit him until now that the love he was talking about was with his next door neighbor. The boy. At the time he didn't bother asking which neighbor. Because now it started to transmit clearly. Alex and Phai were always together. How could he be so stupid to not see it before. He came to realize right then and there as he left the two alone, that he and his son were so far apart in the world. He didn't know Alex had it in him to stare him down that way. To not care that he had been caught. To challenge him back. He never knew his son was that strong. That brave. He almsot resembeled him in the sense that they both had the same 'I don't care' attitude.

Phillip now sat back. He thought for awhile to himself. Trying to figure out if he was upset or not. But would being upset matter anyway. Alex already made it clear.

He sighed picking up a photo of Alex when he was younger. He's always had it on his desk, he just never took the time to analyze it this deeply. It wasn't a normal portrait of a kid. This image of his kid was staring straight at the camera lens. He didnt look happy. He didnt look mad. He didn't look thrilled. He didnt look sad or scared. He looked alert, seeing through the camera. At something else. And finally realized he never knew his kid at all. And that he had no reason at all, to be angry at someone he didn't even bother to get to know.

* * *

><p><strong>Here's another chapter my friends! I know it's super long and I'm sorry about that. Just pretend it's two chapters. Thanks to Baobao, 13Annie, violetsuki, deadrose, fabercastel, S0phea, classyblue, Lysis, serenity, and all my anonymous, guests readers. I am much appreciative as always and I'm sure you know that already so I'm gonna shut up. <strong>

**-Stranger**


	25. Chapter 25

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Four **

_**/**_

_Sometimes it's hard to know where I am and I get the feeling that I'm stranded in the wrong time. So i__s it any wonder that I'm tired? Is it any wonder that I feel afraid? I__s it any wonder that these shattered moments in time, could still shine? _

_No, because it's getting old. _

_If anyone could see what I see with my eyes they'd be so surprised at what they find. So if I see my Phai, my angel of light, should I let him know? _

Alex was sitting at the edge of his bed. Alone in his dark bedroom. His head down. His eyes open. His dark lashes fluttering. His breath being the only sound as another vision found him. The memory rang in like a distant echo.

**_/_**

**_Alexander? _**

**_Yes Love. _**_Alexander smiles softly at the voice of his friend. _

**_How am I?_**_ The general asks as the two men lay another night in each others arms. The moon blaring like an angels halo. _

**_What?_**_ The sleepy king shifts his battle worn body closer to his lover. He yawns._

**_How am I. What am I like? _**_The blue eyed man simplifies for his half awake king with an easy smile and undemanding stare. _

_**Really? **__The golden king is somewhat surprised with his lover's sudden insecurities. _

_**Yes. **__His lover nods with excitement, desperate to know what his king thinks of him._

_Alexander turns to where he is facing his beautiful lover. _**_What type of things do you want to know?_**

**_Everything._**

**_Phai, I haven't changed my answer from when you asked me before. _**

**_Sure you have. That was a long time ago when I asked that._**

**_That was a month ago. _**

**_So, a lot can happen between two people within a month's time. _**

**_What are you saying? _**_The kings voice is rather questioning._

**_Maybe you've lost interest in me?_**

**_Hephaistion who have you been speaking with this time? _**_Alexander leans up and looks down at his lover._

_**Nobody.** __The general shakes his innocent head._

**_Is it Cassander? Craterus? Cleitus? You need to not listen to whatever they are telling you!_**

**_Okay. _**_The general nods staring at the king with his magnificent eyes. _

_Alexander sighs_**_. What did they tell you?_**

**_They told me that they were surprised that you still even bother with me, that I am no soldier. They couldn't quite find what you found attractive or likeable in me other than my face._**

**_Since I've met you, you've been perfect. They are jealous Hephaistion. _**_The loving king explains. __**The Hephaistion I knew would have suffocated them with his thighs**. _

**_But you always said no quarrels and fighting between your men. _**

**_I don't remember saying that. _**

**_Yes you did. It's the rule your most strict about. _**

**_I don't think I'm that strict about it._**

**_Okay then, shall I will take your advice and go suffocate Craterus? _**

**_Wait, wait, I think I remember saying that now. _**

**_Thought so. _**

**_Okay then._**

**_Okay what?_**

**_I will let you know what I think about you..._****_Phai you are..._**

**_\_**

Then he was back before he got to know. The blonde started to cough. The tightness in his chest and pulsing in his head, he felt like he was dying. It was as if life flashed before his eyes as he entered back into realism. If that's what this was. He leaned up, running fingers through his hair and just held on, letting his head ease down from the pain waiting until his breathing attack died off.

* * *

><p><em>Arrogant. <em>

_Selfish. _

_Hot tempered. _

_Miserable. _

_Stupid. _

_Useless. _

_Weak. _

_Clumsy. _

_Dreamer. _

_Girly. _

_Indecisive. _

_A bad leader. _

_A bad friend. _

_A bad son. _

_A bad lover._

_Non compassionate. _

_Envious. _

_Self involved. _

_Ungrateful. _

_Pathetic. _

_Angry. _

_Hateful. _

_Liar._

_Unsuccessful._

_It was beginning to feel like a list about myself that could go on forever. These were all things I was never trying or wanting to be. But somehow I became them. _

_This is how I know myself. Flawed and short-termed. _

_And the list goes on... _

Time shifted fast. The clouds turned drifty and the blue Indian sky was now grey and desolate. Droplets of water fell miles from the heavens, sinking into the majestic soils, turning the mysterious land into mud and grime. Nature torments nature.

_And me continuing to run and hide still goes on... Because it's been my way of life since the very beginning. Strung from what that beginning was, with no other choice, I needed to start again._

Strong weather was approaching. The sleeping general was insensible to it as his lifeless and peaceful body was out cold upon the earth. Winds were getting harsher as if the gods demanded praise. The brutal air swept through the land, striking the man who displayed severe beauty and he finally awakened after falling anonymous among his dreams.

_These eyes that see into infinity and this breath that comes to a halt, are doing nothing for me. The suspense of my future eats away at me every chance it gets and I just want to know. I want to see some light at the end of the tunnel. _

With weighty lids and full lashes, he struggled to open them, as if his life on earth had just begun and he was seeing everything for the very first time. His breathing suddenly became rushed and the soft blueness of his squinted eyes attempted to focus and open fully at the world spiraling in persistence.

_It's simple. __I just want to die._

Laughter of high pitched voices was heard echoing through his ears, like he was surrounded by thousands. Hephaistion rubbed his eyes aggressively and blinked trying to get his sight adjusted quicker as well as the rest of his senses. At least he knew he wasn't dead.

_Dying. It's a scary feeling. It's like feeling alone. Being alone. It's like adventuring into the wild. With no one. With nothing but the demons that walk by your side every day. They see you but you can't see them. And they're laughing at you because you have no idea. _

_But for some reason as frightening and lonely as it may seem, being dead never sounded so good._

The browned haired man realized his eyes were getting blurry from the blustery weather soaring from the overcast skies. He turned to his side, amongst the mushy base his body was laying upon. Goosebumps accumulated as the rain played and danced down his dry skin.

_All I knew was that I live and I bleed like every other human that exists in the world. I feel pain and suffering. But unlike every other human who exists in the world, I never seem to just stay dead. I have my attacks. And sometimes my heart stops completely. _

_But I'm still here? _

_Why?_

_I've heard that before. I've been there before. _

The general started to cough, like he was breathing in smoke from Hades realm.

_Every time I came close to dead it was like the world between this one and the world between the one I see, was joining forces to keep me alive. Or maybe life just has a sick sense of humor. _

_Whatever it was, I needed answers. I needed to know. _

Where was he? The trembling soldier looked around the unfamiliar moist territory as he coughed some more.

_So I looked to the east._

Hephaistion looked to his left.

_And I prayed in the west. _

The general looked to his right. He shut his helpless sad eyes.

_Then I realize that reality is now a long, long way from a dream. And I wonder if anyone has ever been where I've been or seen what I've seen. _

_I wonder if their is anyone out there who knows what direction is the way?_

The general opened them back up after saying a little prayer to whichever god would listen and when he finally caught the world at a complete stop, he turned his head back quickly towards to the stifle laughs of the Indian children hunched over him.

_I might not know my direction but what I do know is that I'm hoping that whatever is driving me insane will stop driving me insane. So that I can come to hopes that I end up forgetting about it all. In hopes that I can forget about him. So that I don't have to worry about my meaning of life anymore_.

_After all, only one of us can be strong. _

As the children continued giggling away, the general's immediate response was to grab hold of his weapon and strike but the kids laughed even more, knowing what the strange barbarian man was looking for. They spoke and started whispering to each other in their own language. Then one boy from the looks of it, about six years old, wrapped in little cloth and barefoot with bright brown eyes, pointed at the general who he liked to call 'the one with wild hair' to the rest of the Indian kids. They all began to chuckle. Hephaistion frowned and blinked not understanding a damn word they were saying. But he was also one of the most intellectual in Alexander's army and his specialty was his talents to perform and communicate with other international unions and societies that differ from his own so he knew the basics and caught on quick.

He knew for certain that the kids were laughing because he didn't have a weapon. He also knew strangely that they were laughing at him for being captured, and being an outsider. Lastly, just because the children seemed lighthearted and playful he knew that wasn't the case.

He was in dangerous territory.

_I've made many mistakes. I've made many bad and unhealthy judgments. And since forever, the day I found out that my eyes would never close again, I was exposed to more flaws and more blunder. I would oversee many risks and many dangers. And that there would be one day, just one day, that I would never be able to forgive myself again._

_Right now what I see and what I have is beautiful._

_But please let me just close my eyes. Make this all go away._

_I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of begging. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of crying. _

_And I just need it all to go._

_So that I can rest and forget. _

_In hopes that one day..._

_I'd disappear._

* * *

><p>It was extremely early morning, about five A.M. The kitchen was torn up, cabinets opened, the refrigerator almost empty, the sink filled with dirty dishes and some hot water boiling over on the stove. It was like someone had been scavenging around searching for something. It wasn't that Alex found nothing he wanted; it was just that he was eating anything and everything he could find, including making a mess of things. Needless to say, the boy was hungry. And he didn't know why. The doctors said it could happen due to stress or depression, but Alex much preferred it was because of the sex he had the night before. Or maybe it was due to both. Who knows. The kings animalistic behavior did come out to play and it did make the night much more intense and daring, but that's not what the purpose of that was. They have never done it like that. And it felt great.<p>

The teens hair was as messy as the kitchen he destroyed. His white shirt he slept in was on inside out. He didn't know how it got that way but he could also bet it had to do with what happened last night. He started to eat away at a soft pear.

Alex then looked up at the clock ticking slow above the refrigerator and realized the fruit he just ate, he ate in under a minute. Then he sighed, tossed the core away and looked back at what he was doing. His brows furrowed anxiously as he tapped the pen against the counter. He was at the kitchen counter writing something down in a notebook. Focusing indifferent eyes on the paper before him he was concentrating to the point of frustration. He had been trying to make this work, getting what he wanted to say on paper for the longest time but the minute the right thing popped into his head and the minute he quickly wrote it down so that he wouldn't forget, he read it over to himself, thought it was crap and scribbled it out. Nothing was good enough for him.

The blonde dropped his pen and stared blankly forward. He was never the type too just easily give up but making a list of all the things he needed to do before his big goodbye was harder than he thought. Sadly the reason for the list, began with an angel. Unfortunately that angel was next door at home sleeping sound asleep in his comfortable bed. Phai had suggested he make a list of everything he wanted to do and achieve in his life so that he wasn't always focused on the negative affects of his crisis. Like dying. He thought it might help him feel better if he strategized out a list of goals for himself. Obviously Phai had high hopes for Alex's future. Alex not really finding it worth his time finally agreed after a bit of convincing and minor arguing. It was a good idea but now he was starting to regret even trying. It was harder than it looked. He never really thought of his life passed the possibility of dying and finding Phai. That was it. That was all he had to look forward too. Now he was staring down at the last words he put down. Looking over it.

_This list though not complete even at the slightest was special to me. This list was my map of everything I needed to get done before I finally slept. If this is truly a dream than this life I'm living is real. It means that I am alive. And that I'm not alone. If this life is not real, than I am dead, somewhere else in another life that I may or may not have not lived yet. If the latter is true, that means Phai's reflection at any time can be erased. That means this list I made was for nothing. _

He started to tap the counter with his fingers now. Impatient with himself. Impatient with everything. Impatient with his untimely death that was supposed to happen two years ago.

The blonde brought the banana, jelly and peanut butter sandwich he had made, up to his mouth, followed by slurping from his cup of orange juice.

He began to tap his foot to the sound of the ticking clock as he chewed. Getting sick of the sound rather quickly, Alex stood and headed over to the counter by the refrigerator, hopped on top of it and snatched down the clock. He ripped out the batteries from the back and tossed the entire thing into the trash like he held some personal hatred towards the device. He jumped back down to the floor and went back to his thinking spot looking and feeling a bit more relaxed. But he had little time for that when his father came heavily down the stairs swooping into the kitchen. Unlike his son, he was cleaned up, dressed professionally, hair combed and ready to start the day. He clipped on his watch before he went to put on some coffee. Then he settled his eyes on Alex. He did a quick aghast thing with his mouth while glancing toward his sloppy son who was just casually leaning against the counter chugging down his glass of juice. "Didn't see you there." Phillip said glancing at the tortured kitchen, the clock in the trash and then back at his son, with an arched dark brow, not even wanting to know. It was getting harder to analyze his son. Right when he was just starting to get used to Alex's odd behavior, last night happened. Then he just thought his son finally lost his mind.

Phillip cleared his husky throat, looking away after a short while, opening the cabinet to reach his favorite coffee mug. "You're up early." He mentioned starting off with the small talk.

"I'm up early every single day." Alex stated and acknowledged without looking at his father, keeping eyes strictly on his list. Or the list that was supposed to be a list. The furthest he got was jotting down the number one and putting a period beside it.

"Oh yea?" Phillip turned to him.

"Yep." Alex replied taking another bite of his awesome sandwich.

"After last night?"

Alex knew the moment his father brought it up, which he knew he was going to, things would start to get heated. Which was unfortunate because it was still early.

The blunt cynicism was definitely there and Alex laughed humorlessly. He licked his lips from the mucky food and looked at his father with another proud "Yep."

Alex didn't care then and he didn't care now. His dad was obviously not happy with what he saw him doing with his neighbor, but what was done was done.

There was long opposed silence before Phillip decided to speak out. "Since when did you start fucking the neighbor kid?"

Alex took his indifferent eyes off the paper and pretended to think that far back. "Let me think. Few years now."

Phillip scoffed at Alex's deliberate frankness and the complete calmness. "And you decided you'd rather have intimate affections with another boy? Is that what I'm understanding?"

"Just my preference. If you don't like it call the cops. Because I'm almost positive what I did is a felony." Alex shrugged with laid back sarcasm.

"Your preference?" Phillip crossed his arms as he stared frustrated and confused at his son.

"Uh yea. You have something to say dad, say it?" Alex asked ignoring his fathers passive aggressiveness.

Phillip shook his head something in them flashing many uncertain signals of disbelief. "I should have known you'd be fucking him. You've always liked pretty things." His father murmured firmly while preparing his coffee roughly. "How did I not catch this earlier!?"

"You tell me." Alex with a lifted brow stared at his dad waiting the unanswered question.

_Who would have figured that reason six for a breakup was because of our parents. And until we could support ourselves our parents would always be an issue. But let's lay this on the table, our parents do not have any issues with the gay community as far as I'm concerned. However, they do have an issue with their gay sons and because of that, it was getting harder trying to explain ourselves especially when they chose not to tolerate it. _

_Reason seven, was that I had to much respect for Phai's parents to mess up their relationship with each other, and the relationship between their son and vice versa. I'm not saying that the situation was always this heavy and this confrontational. No it had its moments when they didn't even seem to care, to caring again, to defending us, to not defending us, to being disgusted by it, to pretending nothing was wrong, to being embarrassed and so on. Which only means one thing. They were more confused than we were. Not just about us but about themselves. It's funny how things worked out though. Because our dads were more patient and tolerant of it. It was our mothers who couldn't seem to grasp the 'why' part. And maybe saying they didn't like it is overstating it. Maybe it was just that they didn't understand it. _

_I can't speak for Phai and I won't. But I do admit, I have been confused about my sexuality. I have been confused about myself entirely. I didn't know if liking Phai and finding him attractive was a bad thing or a good thing. At times my stomach would twist and turn and a knotted pain of guilt would churn in my chest thinking about him and everything I felt for him because I thought maybe I was confused. Maybe I did misunderstand myself. _

_But I went with my gut and my gut told me "Fuck your mother, fuck your father and fuck everyone else who has a fucking problem with us. Phai is in your life now for a reason so pursue it. Pursue him." And so I did. But that wasn't good enough for the king. He yells at me all the time like he's fighting for the world. He commands me like he's operating my soul and I'm nothing but the puppet. "Alex, don't run after him. Chase him. Keep up with him until you can take no more. Get him all. Because he is yours!" _

_And I did that. So now I'm here trying to explain to my dad, why. Sometimes I wish the king could just come out and talk for me, just once. _

Phillip slammed his mug on the counter, his profile hardening. "I just can't see why. Why would you put yourself through such a disgusting and unhealthy act."

"Disgusting? Unhealthy? You're joking right?" Alex's eyes flashed from warm to cold.

"Do you think this is a game Alex? Does my frustration and anger seem like a joke to you?"

"Let me tell you how it is. I'm seeing Phai, And I'm also certain, fucking positive, there is nothing you say, or do that will change that. If you'd like to explain your objections, do so now, because I need to shower and get dressed." Alex answered like he was finally emotionally drained.

Phillip wasn't going to let him off that easy. If they didn't resolve something now the topic would still pull and tug at the back of his head. "No, let me tell YOU how it is. You're confused about your sexuality for one. Second, you're going through a phase which all young kids do. Third, girls have vaginas for a reason. Fourth you're too young to know the meaning of love, fifth no son of mine is a faggot and last, what the hell are you thinking? What you are doing is not allowed. In this house it's not happening."

"Ironic that I'm your only son and I just happen to be a faggot. Do you have anything else to add because it's happening. In fact it's already happened." The boy countered effectively.

Phillip rubbed his face. "When did I go wrong with you?" He mumbled into his hands meaning to be hurtful.

Alex's stomach tightened and he reacted on pure impulse. "Oh great, so you finally admit you went wrong with your son. Well guess what, I have some breaking news. You went wrong with me since day one of my fucking birth!" His son yelled resisting the urge to strangle the hell out of his dad and literally had to persuade himself to keep seated because if he stood up, bad things might happen. "Also me liking my neighbor has nothing to do with your shitty parenting. Trust me."

The blonde tore out the first page of his notebook, ripped it up and tossed it out. He hadn't written anything but his dad was pissing him off and he needed to express his anger in a way that didn't involve him yelling and them beating the shit out of each other. So he took it out on the list which he thought would make him feel better, but it didn't.

Phillip chuckled shaking his head at the outburst. He poured his coffee and turned back towards his son. "Alright you piece of shit, let's lay down some ground rules."

"Can't wait to hear them." Alex was not amused.

"I don't care who you're fucking and I don't care what you catch from it, but if I ever, ever see you in my house again fucking your pretty neighbor boy friend, or anyone for that matter, by the time I'm done kicking your ass you're gonna wish I had pulled out your mom early. Do you understand me? If we're not clear, I will be happy to send you back to your mothers. Got it?

_My father was more shameful and disappointed in me than actually hating the idea of me liking Phai, if that makes sense. Let's put it this way, if I was banging boys for the sake of banging than he would be okay with that because in his opinion all men need to release their seed one way or the other…because apparently that's what we do. In his conclusion, men are horny and there is nothing wrong with that. On the flip side, if I were making __love__ to the opposite sex than that is a major no go. _

_I can lust a boy but can't love one? Yep, that's my old mans advice. _

"Speaking of mom, I should call her up, let her know you're out banging little girls again. I told you to be careful. The law is strict on pedophiles. Now tell me who has the bigger issue?"

"Do not pull that shit on me boy. I'm serious."

"That's exactly what I can't figure out dad. What the hell is their to be serious about. What is the big deal about who I fuck, who I like, who I love, who I hang out with? You have no right to tell me shit about anything. Because guess what, I will always go by my rules and you will always go by yours. End of story."

"This is my house, my rules so as long as you're here living under my roof you are going to follow them."

"You go out and you cheat on your wife and you're going to stand before me telling me what's wrong about my choices?"

"You better shut your goddamn mouth about your mother."

"Why? Are you finally realizing you fucked up? Are you finally realizing that you don't have anybody and you don't want to be reminded that you have nobody? Think about it, mom hates you. You have no one. So like the grumpy old bitch that you are, you want to take it out on me because I'm the only one you have left in your pathetic little shit fuck of a life. So before you concern yourself in my affairs, look at yours first before you drive someone else away."

"Is that what you really think of me Alex. Do you really think of me as a bad father?" Phillip asked actually looking into his sons eyes. Really looking into them. Alex glared back where he sat and answered strongly.

"Yes."

Phillip just nodded. He looked at his kid for awhile. "Don't forget to clean up this mess." He then walked away taking his coffee cup and keys with him.

Alex sighed when the front door slammed shut but he didn't care. He had every right not to care.

_For the longest time though my father was in denial about me. He wanted to believe that I messed around with boys, because I was on some power trip. Like a dominance thing. And since he already thought there was nothing manly about me anyway and being infamous for referring me to a girl he just never found anything manly about a guy and a guy together. He found it weak. A disgrace to the rest of the men in the world. In his opinion men were supposed to be equal. Men were supposed to be one way. Men were supposed to be strong and masculine. Men were supposed to be providers. And yes he found women slightly below men when it came to power and control and controlling a woman and being the man of the house, supporting the family was something he now knew I would never achieve. _

_All this, because I liked another man. _

Alex picked back up the pen breathing in deeply and started a new list.

_First thing on the list: __Make him feel special._

The flashbacks of last night caused Alex to smile.

_Check. _

* * *

><p>"Phai are you even listening to anything I'm saying?" Tolem gave up talking when he figured out that Phai wasn't even mentally present and off in <em>lala<em> land.

"No. Not really." The blue eyed teen admitted, not even sure what Tolem had been talking to him about.

Phai had been smiling all day. His mind was elsewhere and Tolem couldn't figure out why. As long as he's known Phai, he had always been pretty much neutral in personality. He was neither ever really happy or really angry, just always weirdly in between. Like when ever he was mad you knew it by his expression but his tone would come off very tranquil and his eyes would do all the talking. On a normal day he was usually balanced and mellowed out more than the rest of his friends... unless he was around Alex. Which started to now make sense and Alex probably had something to do with his sweet and out of the ordinary behavior, much to his relief.

Leon came up to Tolem and Phai. "Hey guys what's up?" The light brown haired boy asked.

"Nothing much. I'm still trying to figure out what's up with Phai." Tolem replied with a sigh after letting Phai wander blissfully ahead of them.

"You don't know?" Leon asked.

"Know what?" Tolem frowned in confusion.

"That's definitely an 'I got laid face.'"

Tolem grew shocked. "What?!"

"What you don't know what that face means?" Leon asked this time very surprised.

"I know what that face means Leon!"

"Then why did you ask?"

Tolem really didn't know why he asked but he was obviously in denial about Phai's new happiness.

Crater spotting the two invited himself over. "So Phai got laid or what? I must say about fucking time."

The curled haired teen rolled his eyes. "Crater go away."

Then Cleitus came out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around both Tolem and Leon, smooching them both on the cheek. "I never thought I would see the day where our little Phai finally gets laid. We should celebrate. Who's the lucky girl?"

Tolem knew that there was one person who that would possibly be so he played smart and kept his mouth shut. "Or maybe he didn't get laid and you guys are just horny idiots. Have you ever thought of that? and get off me. We should celebrate that you're actually at school for once." Tolem pushed Cleitus' arm away. "High and hung-over. Congrats."

"You're such a sour puss some days Tols. Lighten up. You want some weed?" He patted the curled haired boy on the shoulder.

Tolem folded his arms. "Uh no. You do know you can get in trouble for bringing that into school? Like big time trouble."

"And fortunately for me our school halls aren't patrolled by a bunch of pansy Robocop's and goody two shoes like you."

Tolem snatched the ziplock bag full of pot that Cleitus was waving out in the open and shoved it back in Cleitus' bag. "It's almost like you want to get held back again."

"Dude what's your problem?" The blacked haired man asked upset that Tolem refused his green stash.

"I'm annoyed. What the hell do you think?"

"About Phai?" Crater laughed at him. "Whatever Tols. I remember your got laid face. You were in the exact same bliss."

"My first lay was awkward okay, I was not happy. And I told you guys that. I never wanted to do it again." Tolem tried to explain that bad situation to his friends for the fifth time.

"Man I feel bad for Thais. You know it's safe to say she's probably seeking intimate affections with another man. You can probably take back your promise ring now." Cleitus teased. Crater nodded.

"Thais and I are perfectly happy." Tolem felt insulted.

"Yea, yea, yea, that's what they all say until you find out she's cheating on you with someone much better looking and with more money." Cleitus replied. "You're not the only stud with hair like Shirley Temple."

"Aw guys leave little Tol's alone." Cassy slipped into the group making himself welcomed, joined shortly by Phil who had received a text from Crater about a certain someone getting laid. "What did I miss you bunch of virgins and who got laid?"

"Phai got laid." Crater announced.

"Really? I wonder who the lucky girl was." Cassy enforced sarcastically knowing there was no girl but playing along just because. Tolem looked away falling silent when Cassy winked at him.

Phai stopped walking snapping free from his thoughts and turned to look at all six of them. On a normal day he wouldn't put up with it but today was a special day and he decided he'd take it easy on them.

Once the boys all saw that stare they stopped the boisterous talk and laughter like they had just got caught doing something bad. They all had guilty looks ready to be reprimanded for it. "First of all I can hear you all perfectly fine. Secondly, me getting laid or whatever you think happened is none of your business and third…." Phai bit his lip smiling. Phai liked to think that he was different when it came to being seduced or hitted on. Which he was. He was not easily played. At all. However last night Alex had seduced the hell out of him. And if he didn't think he could fall in love with the blonde anymore, he fell head over hills for him all over. "Well I can't think of a third. Anyway Cleitus you reek of weed. I'll see you guys later." He walked off all happy and shit and Crater curled his lip in disgust while Cleitus sniffed at his jean jacket making a comment that he smelt gorgeous.

Perdicas joined the group. "Hey guys. I'm hearing Phai got laid."

"Don't you think you're a little late loser?" Cassy said.

"Meh whatever. So who's the lucky girl?"

"Oh my god! Would you guys leave it alone?" Tolem was getting sick of repeating himself.

"You're right Tolem. We should drop the subject right now and focus on our school work...Said no one ever. I just got here and I like the sex talk. As a matter of fact we should place bets on who we think it is." Cassy whipped out a twenty dollar bill and just to piss Tolem off some more he flapped the money in his face asking if he was in on it.

"Are you serious Cassy?"

"I've never been more serious in my life Tols."

"I'm gonna bet five dollars it was Bethany." Perdicas betted five.

"Who the hell is Bethany?!" Tolem asked.

"She travels along with the nerd group. Oval glasses, wide forehead, flat-chested. When you see her you'll know. She's a traffic stopper." Cleitus answered. "I slept with her once. Never again have I wanted my dignity back so bad in my life."

"Yea you idiot she's also a virgin. You're thinking of her sister." Cassy made mention.

"No I'm sure that was her." Cleitus disagreed. "But then again I was probably on too many pain killers to even notice. But getting back on topic I'm certain women aren't even Phai's type. So I place my bets on the football coach."

"The football coach is old and he just happens to be a man." Perdicas said, thinking maybe he joined the conversation at the wrong time.

"Oh come on guys. Are we even sure Phai is straight. I mean the rumor says otherwise." Cassy asked pretending to be naïve about it.

"I doubt it." Perdicas intervened.

"What are your reasons to doubt it?" Cassy challenged.

Perdicas grew silent thinking about it then shrugged. "I don't know. Okay you win I got nothing."

"Thought so."

"Okay jerk off what are your reasons to think he's gay?" Perdicas asked in return.

"I'm glad you asked. Hmm, let me think. His attention to detail. The music he likes. The way he dresses. His long hair. He likes to swim. His girly looks. The way he carries himself. He only has one sister. What else, oh yea there is plenty more, he's turned down every girl who has ever asked him out here, I'm talking about the hottest girls in the school. He's even turned down the nerdy girls nicely."

"We have gay guys at this school who have asked Phai out plenty, he's turned them down too." Perdicas responded.

"Oh really. Is that so?"

"Yea, I mean they were pretty upset."

"Maybe because he's interested in someone else. Who that is I can't possibly figure out. Tolem you want to help me out here. You're a good guesser."

Tolem ended up walking away. "I'm done here actually."

Cassy grinned as he walked away with the others.

_"_Wait Tolem!" Leon caught up to him when Tolem stopped in his tracks and sighed. "So….do you think Phai would allow me to take his sister to prom?"

"Of course you can't bring his sister to prom Leon?" Tolem answered as honest as he could.

"Why not?" Leon started to rub his arm nervously.

"She's thirteen Leon!"

"So?"

"You're eighteen!"

"So?"

"So you and Phai's sister hanging out, and going to a dance together while she's in middle school and you're about to graduate from high school is weird."

"We're only five years apart."

"She' still young though. Wait until she's sixteen."

Leon looked slightly flustered. "I know but we've just been hanging out a lot and she really likes me and I like her. Also she calls it dating."

"Really?"

"Yea we're seeing each other. You didn't know that?"

"Uh no."

"Well everyone else does."

"Do her parents know?'

"No. Of course not. They don't know."

"Shit Leon, why can't you go to the prom with someone from the school. I'm sure their are plenty of girls here."

"I'm not interested."

Tolem groaned.

"Oh come on Tols, at least talk to him for me." Leon pleaded.

"Okay, I'll ask Phai for you alright."

"Thanks dude."

"Yea."

Tolem sighed once more before he took off to go see where Phai disappeared.

* * *

><p>The general leaned up slowly from the ground while keeping steadiness, trying not to make any sudden movements incase the children felt he would make an attempt to attack. He stood up fully and looked around, caring about the unknown environment he was in but mostly concerned that he did not have his Alexander by his side. The entire point of this was to find him. Not to fail him. He knew it would be difficult. But he didn't realize how alone he was in doing so. The gods had been sending upon him weather that made it almost impossible. He was being stalked by random Indians. Alexander being unconscious didn't help and the generals and the kings friends giving up made it that much harder. Alexander would have gone to the ends of all the worlds just to look for any of his people. So why couldn't they do the same for him. The general didn't understand it.<p>

He looked in circles again finding no sight of his king. No one was out there with him but the children, three large huts and burned out fires. There was lost and confusion appearing in his eyes and a sad discerned expression in his face. "Alex?" He murmured desperately under his breath. He looked to the huts again not knowing especially by the silence if anyone was occupying them. "Alex?" He ran over to each of the shelters and looked inside. They were all vacant. Suddenly being captured meant nothing to him. The king was nowhere and now he didn't even know where to start looking. He just wanted to break down and cry.

But he had to first get himself out of there. He wasn't tied or bound by anything and no adult figure seemed to be around and the children couldn't stop him so he had an advantage. But what he did find rather uncomfortable and a bit unusual as why the enemy kidnappers weren't around. Maybe they thought he wouldn't wake up as soon as he did and left the children to keep an eye on him while they went to fetch food or something. But the children were just staring at him. Wide-eyed. Mouths tightly closed. Like they were in trouble or something.

Hephaistion searched the small huts, looking for any type of weapon. While hoping for a sword or blade of some sort he only found a spear. It would have to do for now and he took it. He didn't forget about his mission to find his missing king and this was his only chance.

He never even began to think what the Indian people wanted from him, or why they even detained him but one thing he wouldn't put up with, was his time being wasted. His only mission was to get his Alexander back.

Hephaistion looked towards the green wet jungle planning a getaway. He looked hesitant and fearful. He made sure none were lurking in the tall trees and bushes. And then when he felt it was safe enough to make his move he put his finger to his lips hoping the Indian kids knew that meant shush. Then he quietly snuck away, running back into the humid forest, keeping eyes on the huts, making sure no one had spotted him and making sure the children weren't following. Then when he felt at a good distance away, the general turned and ran as far as he could.

* * *

><p>Phai flipped through his book trying to study for an exam due by the end of the month. The football team was supposed to gather later for practice but because that wasn't for another hour he had nothing better to do.<p>

He was sitting at an empty table in the back of the common area of the library. He had ear phones in because music helped him concentrate and he also didn't want to be bothered by other noise or other distractions, like the loud preps two tables away from him, who couldn't keep their voices down for the life of them, the nerds who most likely were laughing at something nerdy and unfunny, the gothic kids across from him giving him weird stares while doing weird stuff to their bodies with sharp objects and of course Cassy, the one person he didn't want to see. Ever.

As Phai looked up from his work all he could register right away was the cocky grin, the glaring eyes and attempted charm.

"Hiya there Phai. You know what; I couldn't help but look at you and notice something strangely odd."

"And what is that Cassy?" The blue eyed teen snatched the ear phones out of his ears looking like he didn't have the time to be bothered.

"You're glowing." Cassy's eyes smiled.

"Bye Cassy." Phai attempted to put back in his ear phones hoping that would somehow get him walking.

"Nah." The meaned eyed boy slammed books on the table and decided to offer his own company. "You look like you need a study partner. And look at that, I am studying the same test as you. What are the odds."

"Please don't study with me." Phai asked in a no nonsense way but it was clearly another way of saying 'go the fuck away.'

"It's opposite day." Cassy said as he pretended to search for a pen through his backpack. The truth was he wasn't planning on studying jack shit. He was just there to be a nuisance.

"It's always opposite day with you." Phai stated quite sternly.

"Come on, unless this open seat was for someone else. Like Alex?"

Phai let off a stressful groan, knowing Cassy would eventually mention Alex.

"Speaking of our little blonde friend," Cassy continued with his oh so famous condescension. "where is he?"

"He's not around. Obviously." The blue eyes blinked filled with five percent calmness and ninety five percent annoyance.

"Oh wow I must say I'm surprised. That's something you don't hear everyday." Cassy chuckled.

"What the hell do you want Cassy!? I just want to be alone. And believe it or not I don't do everything with Alex, which explains why he and I are not studying together."

"Woah calm down their precious."

"Don't call me precious. And if you don't want anything, now will be a good time to go away."

"How was it?" Cassy sat back all comfortably as a conceited smirk formed across his face.

The question knocked the already frustrated and angered blue eyed teen off guard. "How was what?"

"Alex. Fucking you?" The green eyes locked with blue ones.

Phai couldn't believe it. "Are you being serious right now?"

"Yes. Ofcourse. I asked it didn't I?" Cassy put a toothpick in his mouth.

"Hmm let me see. None of your business. Now go away."

Cassy leaned up and quickly took Phai's study book away and his earphones. "I will be happy to leave once you answer the question."

"What the hell Cassy. Give me my things!"

"Where did you like it most?" Cassy remained confident of his intentions.

"You are a sick fuck Cassy."

Cassy nodded slightly. Something in his eyes expressed that he was offended. "You know I haven't changed since you've met me. You just figuring this out really hurts my feelings. We went through middle school and high school together not to mention we live in the same neighborhood."

"Yea and I hope my future for college is much brighter." Phai dissed as he leaned against the back of his chair with folded arms glaring hard daggers. Cassy smiled at him without saying anything and sat back glancing through the book he stole from Phai indicating that he wasn't leaving anytime soon.

The two were surprisingly quiet. Cassy with his 'I'm better than you' style was looking over Phai's book pretending to be interested and Phai was sitting at his chair waiting until Cassy got bored enough to leave. The bleu eyed teen opened his mouth t say something but close it quickly. He then cleared his throat as he twisted long strands of his hair.

Cassy looked up at him. "What?"

"You really want to know?" Phai asked with something graceful and innocent upon his features as if he was torn between excited and embarrassed to talk about it.

Cassy frowned knowing what was coming the minute the dark blue eyes smiled and the innocence disappeared. Phai was never ever completely a hundred percent innocent despite what everyone thought. Infact the way Phai played games was vital to who he was as a person. And he had made Cassy regret that he even asked.

"It was amazing. The best sex I ever had." He leaned up inches off the table and purred against Cassy's cheek. "He did something naughty with his bad behaved tongue and my god does he have a nice tongue." Then Phai chuckled callously. "I can keep going. Just because I know you don't want to hear the rest."

Cassy grew jealous. "I got the point, okay."

"Good." Phai sat back down and Cassy noticed Phai had snuck the things he had taken from him back.

Cassy sighed. Then kept persisting. "Have you ever thought about having sex with someone other than Alex? I mean you never know what someone else feels like unless you try?"

"Stop right there. I know you mean you and never. Never once actually. I've never even thought about kissing you to be honest. Or sleeping with you, or do anything with you at all. And that includes not studying with you either. What are you not getting Cassy? I do not like you. I hate you. If I had a gun and I was stuck in a room with Roxanne and you. I'd shoot you twice. And then Roxanne."

"I don't believe you hate me that much."

"You don't have to believe me."

"I think you're falling for me."

"I think you're full of shit and delusional."

"I think you're hot when you're angry."

"I think your compliment is failing as a compliment."

"I think Alex is going to break your heart. I'm pretty sure of it."

"And I'm pretty sure I'm leaving. You can stay here and study all you want with your invisible buddy friend though. Have fun you two." Phai stood, grabbed his shit and left.

Cassy sighed back and hit the table. "Damnit!"

"Mr. Hill is there a problem?" The librarian came from around the corner after hearing the disturbance.

"No Mrs. Pat." The boy answered disrespectfully. "I'm fine."

"Well then Mr. Hill I'm sure you are aware about the rules of the library?"

"Yes Mrs. Pat I do know the rules however I don't care. But sorry to be a disturbance anyway to the little book nerds."

"Well then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Cassy grabbed his back pack and left the room leaving everyone not surprised by his attitude. This was an everyday thing with him.

* * *

><p>Phillip pulled up into his driveway and turned off the car engine. He stayed put until he finished his cigarette. His eyes were shut like he was resting but really he was just thinking about the bumpy conversation that had happened earlier between him and his son. They had left on bad terms and thinking about it only made him that much angrier and he let off a stressful sigh before glancing with an extreme dislike toward his next door neighbor.<p>

The father of the house was out mowing the front lawn while the little daughter was out sitting on the porch eating an ice-cream. Phillip shifted up in his seat and glared for awhile as his stare was pressed and attentive on the dad. He brought the cigarette back towards his mouth and exhaled smoke. He then took his keys out from the ignition and continued to sit and watch, figuring out the best way to confront him about their sons.

* * *

><p>"Welcome back Alex. Did you have a wonderful time off?" Cassy approached Alex as the two were entering from opposite sides of the field.<p>

"Oh look at that, the two captains are late. What a horrible example you're showing to your team." Cleitus greeted them both.

Tolem and Phai were talking while sitting on the bench and they both stopped and turned seeing Alex and Cassy finally arrived. The first thing Tolem noticed was Phai blushing and trying to hold back a smile. Alex as always no matter how tired he looked came looking great and cool. His skin was glowing. His eyes stood out as the sun captured them. Strings of blonde hair were slightly wiggling in front of his eyes. But Phai wasn't really just focused on how great Alex had been looking these passed few days and more worried about Cassy's and Alex's first interaction since they've had that argument. It's been a week since they've seen each other. In fact all the friends were bracing themselves for something bad.

"You know what Cassy the time off was great. I enjoyed it very much."

Phai looked at Alex, with an uncontrollably grin at his cuteness.

"Did you miss me?" Cassy smirked almost with seducing conduct.

"No not at all." Alex answered straightforward.

"I didn't miss you either."

"Good I'm glad were on the same page then."

"What page would that be? The 'I like choking girls in the locker room page?"

Alex shortly laughed not being intimidated or bothered by him one bit. "Clearly we're not on the same page."

"Are we seriously gonna start this again." Perdicas whined. "It's like you guys are mind fucking us. I can't tell if you like each other or hate each other. It's making it really difficult for the rest of us friends here."

"How about you guys just kiss and makeup already. Or fuck. Either way it's better than you two bitches bitching." Cleitus joked even though it came off serious. The black haired boy smiled and winked at Phai like he knew more than he should.

Phai had this thing where he had a specific glare and special look just for Cleitus. In Phai's opinion Cleitus was bizarre. He didn't hate him, he just oddly found him weird enough to stare at all the time probably because whatever left his mouth was random and unnecessary but also the black haired man was like a loner with strange habits and Phai found it a bit intriguing.

It was a strange moment between Cassy and Alex. There was nothing warm or gentle between them.

Crater quickly glanced at Phai knowing somewhere he was part of the problem.

"Okay I have a plan. It's simple and easy. Alex and Cassy you two are making this much harder than it is, so how about you two just apologize to each other." Tolem suggested. "How about it?"

Cassy groaned in refusal.

"God Tols. That's the stupidest plan I have ever heard." Phil scoffed. "I say you guys fight and finish where you left off."

"How in the hell is that going to help! And when has your input ever been useful?" Phai asked not slightly annoyed but extremely annoyed. He was surrounded by a bunch of idiots.

"It's going to help release the anger they have at each other, obviously Phai." Phil yelled.

"When has anything ever starting in a fight been affective in how an issue is solved. Can you answer me that Phil?" Phai yelled back.

"Yea, I'll give you one example. My parents always end up having sex after they fight."

"That just means they need help. Right away. Probably now." Phai had an uncanny ability to make people feel stupid with the way he worded things. Probably because he was so much smarter than the rest.

"Phai it sounds like you need to get laid again. It's the only time you're not a complete bitch." Phil stated.

"I'd do you in a heartbeat." Cleitus said. Raising his hand making his offer known. And Phai gave him not necessarily a disgusted look but more a look that read why he had to open his mouth at all.

"No thanks Cleitus."

"Are you sure?"

Phai shook his head. He didn't know what to think anymore so he just went back to being quiet.

"Okay enough guys." Tolem came back to taking control of the situation. "No ones doing anybody and nobody's fighting anybody."

"Well I sure as hell am not apologizing to little miss blonde boy if I don't want to." Cassy said.

"Well it works out just fine because I just happen to not want an apology from you." Alex let him know smoothly. "And maybe we should just do what we're here to do and that is to practice."

"I usually call the orders." Cassy smirked. "Thanks for trying."

"You're doing a great job at it to. Your team looks ready to work and my god the energetic vibe I'm getting from them is out of this world. Let me in on your secret. How are you doing it?"

Cassy didn't like or expect that much sarcasm from Alex. And the monotone and deadly stare wasn't helping him like Alex anymore. Alex usually would listen to Cassy and do what he says. He was easy prey and easily manipulated. But that was when they were in middle school and considered friends. These days, not so much.

"I have a question, I already asked Phai but how was your night last night." Cassy slowly crossed his arms smiling at Alex.

Alex blinked and stared at him. Old Alex normally would have shrugged something like that off. He didn't really used to get angered or bothered easily but now anything could trigger him to go off. And it didn't help that Cassy was around to help provoke him.

Phai, Tolem and sadly most of the rest looked like they didn't want to get caught up in whatever Cassy and Alex had going on. Phai knowing Cassy pretty well couldn't believe he had just asked that. But he also knew Cassy was trying to irritate Alex to the best of his ability because Alex hadn't seemed to be affected yet. Until now.

"You do not want to go down that road with me today or ever." The blonde advised in an intimidating and dangerous conduct.

But Cassy being the stubborn jackass he was didn't pay attention to the warning and continued to press the blonde. "I'm guessing you had a hard time getting it up? I can't think of another explanation why you're such a miserable fuck."

_And then__ _everything happened fast after that. I think. Or maybe it just seemed like it. __

_And yes. I swung first. _

* * *

><p>Callista sat indulged in her messy treat. She found it fun watching her dad do the chores around the house since normally he wouldn't be home to do it. Now it was her mom she hardly got to see anymore because she started to work more hours at her job, which meant more overtime and more night shifts.<p>

Right now she'd be at school but was home early because she had a half day today. Her mother had picked her up early and the two went for ice cream before her mother headed off to work. Now she got to hang out with her dad all day which wasn't all that bad.

The girl wanting to keep herself entertained waved at a couple of neighbor kids walking by the sidewalk of her house. The kids didn't wave back and she frowned and began to aggressively eat away at her ice cream while staring down the snotty kids. "Punks." She mumbled under her breath.

Phillip murmured something under his breath before he stepped out of the car and approached the neighbor who was mowing the lawn. "Hey, excuse me!" He yelled over the loud shearing sound as he called for the father's attention.

Amyntor didn't hear him the first time but when he finally noticed that Alex's father was trying to grab his attention he immediately stopped what he was doing. "Oh hey Phillip. How's it going?" He was surprised to see that he stopped by.

"Things are going fine." Phillip answered abruptly as if that wasn't what he was there for.

"So what can I help you with?" Amyntor brought up his shirt and wiped the sweat from his face.

"How is your son doing?" Phillip answered smugly with fake interest like he knew something.

Amyntor crossed his arms across his chest. "He's fine." His tone was unwelcoming.

"Good." Phillip nodded with a wide grin and the neighbor hated that he was so full of himself.

"How's Alex?" Amyntor thought he'd ask in return with the same fake friendly manner.

"Fine. I guess."

"Great. Have a nice one. I'll see you around." Amyntor gave out an annoyed breath and finally realized why he never tried harder to talk to the neighbor. He was a complete passive aggressive dickhead.

Phillip sneered and gave a half-assed wave while mumbling something under his breath, something rude as the two broke ways. Amyntor back to the lawn work and Phillip back towards his house but then Phillip felt that he wasn't done yet. He turned back towards the neighbor.

"Oh wait another thing." Phillip said walking right to the edge of the lawn that started the neighbor's property.

"Yea." Amyntor turned back to him trying his best to be polite which wasn't coming off polite at all.

"It's about our sons."

Amyntor glared at the intentional hostility in his voice and looked towards his daughter. "Callista take your ice-cream and go inside please." He said.

"Why?" she whined.

"Because, just go sweetie. I'll let you know when you can come back out."

"Geez, nobody wants me around!" Callista growled with a pout and stomped inside.

Amyntor made sure that she actually closed the door before clearing his throat and looking back at Alex's douch bag father. "So what about them? Is something wrong?"

"I think you know." Phillip cut to the chase.

Amyntor scoffed. "I'm sorry. I don't. What's this about?"

"I caught them two last night. Your son came over to my house."

"I'm sorry I didn't know that would be an issue. They were needing to work out some personal issues. If you have a problem I think I'm man enough to let you know that I take the blame and I apologize if he was over at a time that was inconvenient to you."

"I think you're mistaking my purpose for me being here before you now. I figured out something interesting about our sons yesterday."

"What would that be?" Amyntor knew what he was heading with but kept his knowledge hidden.

"I found out that Alex and Phai aren't just very close friends. I found out that they mean the world to each other and that's going to be a problem."

"Excuse me." Amyntor voice struck defensively.

"He and Alex went upstairs and I caught them doing something that they shouldn't have been doing. So all I ask is that you just keep your son away from mine. And keep him off my territory. I would appreciate it."

Phillip tossed his cigarette on Amyntor's side of the lawn. Amyntor surprised and angered all at once looked at the cigarette. Then back up at the man who had the audacity and the two fathers just stood their arms across their chest as they expressively glared at each other letting the other know that they didn't like the other.

"And I would appreciate it, if you get the hell away from my property."

Phillip grinned and stepped off but not before stepping on the cigarette, smashing it into the lawn more. "Have a great day." He then walked away and headed into his house.

* * *

><p><em>So if I see my Phai, my angel of light, should I let him know?<em>

_That I need to give him up or I'm gonna die._

_Should I let him know that I think I'm going to be gone again. _

_I know we can't always pick the life we find. And this life isn't what I had in mind but I'm here and still wondering if I'm lost. Still trying to understand the way I feel. And this feeling of being incomplete means that I'm nowhere now. It means that I'm slipping away. It means that I've seen better days but I'm starting to think that I won't live a normal life again. _

_I don't know me. I don't think I ever will. Despite my ambition, my heart is incomplete and my mind is intoxicated leaving me halfway dead and fully alive. _

_So I've been thinking about my future. Waiting for the day. Waiting for the day where this life I'm living stops dragging on, giving me high hopes that I just might make it to the end. But every day that sun rises, I'm convinced my life hasn't even started. _

_Then I look to the bright sky, into the darkness and emptiness of the universe and wonder why my dreams are being chased away. If I'm real it still wont change how I feel. I will still be here standing hollow. I will still feel tired. And when my time is near and if it is near, how is it going to be taken from me?_

_Then I see that Alexander is in constant search for everything making it harder to promise me an end._

* * *

><p>Amyntor went back inside his home and dialed his son's number. He was pacing non stop all over the house. He knew his son wouldn't answer because he was in class but he was going to leave a voicemail anyway. "Phai this is your father, call me back when you get this. We need to talk." Then he hung up.<p>

"Dad? What's wrong?"

He looked up not expecting Callista to be standing there. "Oh hey, it's nothing sweetie."

He shifted and postured himself to make himself seem natural.

"Are you sure. Is Phai okay?" she look worried.

"Yea, yea of course he is." Amyntor smiled sweetly at his daughter but she wasn't buying it.

"Why do you look angry then?"

"Do I? I'm not angry I'm just..." What could he tell his daughter that would make sense? "You know what, I am angry..."

Callista looked at him weird.

"Because I haven't eaten." He answered. "Hey lets say you and I go grab some lunch okay?"

"Are you sure you're okay dad. You look really mad? And you're scary when your mad." She reiterated.

Amyntor had to naturally smile at that. "No. I'm not mad. Get your shoes on and let's go. We'll go wherever you want."

"Awesome!" The girl ran upstairs to grab her shoes. Ice cream and lunch. This was the perfect day.

* * *

><p><strong>I know you guys have been waiting. But here's another chapter and I made it a long one. I want to thank everyone for the last reviews and I want to thank and congratulate Violet Suki for her new story 'Angel'. Anyway I hope you guys have a good read and thanks for sticking around.<strong>

**-Stranger**


	26. Chapter 26

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Five **

**_/_**

**_/_**

_The aged __Mieza sky comes glooming in the shadows, sneaking up on the small companions preparing them for another day of rain, apart from the dazzling golden sun balancing bold above their heads._

**_Is the mind a trick master? _**_Little and curious Philotas asks with a risen hand eager to learn._

_It is a bit of an unsettled day for the boys to be outside listening to Aristotle preaching yet another lecture. But__ they carry on, continuing to pay attention to more of the valuable lessons their old and wise teacher has to offer in order to prepare themselves for future times. _

_**The mind is not a trick Philotas. Only it becomes one if you allow such things to cloud such wisdom.**__ The old man speaks gently instructing the response to all of his students. __**Then if the mind is weak enough, my boys, it becomes a cosigned place to trap dangerous competition. That competition being within yourself. **_

_They are wrapped in heavy fur cloaks, keeping their little bodies covered incase white water droplets fly down from the majestic heavens. They have the sniffles as the cold breeze hits them quietly. But like always even the craziest of weather couldn't hide any fascinations held on the prince's face as the blonde haired pupil gazes upon his instructor. _

_**What about when one is tempted master**__? Cassander asks over, eyes lit in absorption as the gifted sun brightens them up. __**Is that a trick you speak of?**_

_The prince allows the intensity of his focus stray away from his parchment and at the mean-eyed boy with a sudden interest at the question. What if one is tempted? He asks himself because he's been finding himself fighting temptation every second of his life. _

_Aristotle chuckles unthinkingly and with a small nod he lifts his attention towards the precious learners. His intelligent eyes scanning each and single one of them. __**Yes. It's only one of the few tricks, yet it is the trickiest of them all. It can lead to discomfort within ones own conscious. **__**Beware of it**__. He warns. _

_**Is that why it's so easy? **__Cassy replies scathingly and the other boys laugh with him except for the prince. _

_The old teacher quiets the boys down by speaking over their cheer of amusement.__** Temptation is easy Cassander, you're absolutely right. It is exactly like the trick Philotas was talking about. But it isn't necessarily a horrible thing to have either. Easy, yes, tricky, yes, manipulative also yes but all these things a human needs sequentially to create an even amount of weight and balance in its authority to the ways of our actions. **_

_Alexander now focuses on his words and listens for the answer. _

_**If your adolescent minds can allow you to think further and deeper about this, temptation is believe it or not, the better side of you. It's the side that wants you to do well but persuades you to do everything you do not hope to.**__ The old teacher smirks slightly and gives a slight wink to Cassander as if they shared a little secret. Or maybe it was a hint into Cassander's own future. __**It bounds the life you bear in all of its power to prevent you **__**from any type of success whatsoever.**_

_**Is that not a contradiction Master? **__The small prince questions boldly, not being new in the department of asking questions about the things he doesn't understand. And the one quality thing Aristotle found comforting and promising in the young prince was that the boy didn't pretend that he knew anything about everything or anything at all. But he admired greatly that he went out and sought the solutions rather than living with the issue. Alexander was for better words, a thinker, a problem solver. Whatever the problem, he wanted it gone and he wasn't shy of getting the answers to come to some sort of conclusion and resolution. __**At first I believed that I was the better side, better than my own conscious. I fought it everyday and sometimes I won. But until theses tricks of my mind started to shape even greater I knew how powerful it really was. I began to lose and I'm still losing. And I don't like losing. **__He confesses openly._

_The philosopher stunned raises a thoughtful brow. Even he knew that Alexander was far too young to be battling any of his darker demons this soon. _

_The perplexed stares of the boys travel from the prince at the teacher wondering with fair stillness how Aristotle would react to such a confession. _

_**Hmm, what are you losing Alexander?**__ Aristotle smirks interested in this darker more open side of the prince. _

_**I don't know yet. **__The boy answers softly and blinks. _

_**Are you sure you're not mistaking losing for giving up? **__Aristotle questions again but this time extremely interested in an answer. _

_The prince stares at the ground instinctively watching the specks of sand and dust being blown away by the tender winds__**. **__Then he looks back up at his master.__** I don't know. **_

_**Well is this temptation you are facing fierce? **__Aristotle asks suddenly._

_**Fiercer than ever. **__The prince responds __with a bit of a stiffened throat__**. But its more mocking of me, rather than tempting. **_

_The teacher nods understanding the prince's situation. __**Temptation is also known for its disdainful advice. And I also know being a good friend to your father, a lot about you. Being your teacher is just an added benefit. But if I were to ask your companions here about the one thing you hate most, they would answer a thing of similarity. **_

_**What do I hate most? **__The keen blonde prince asks in a low voice__**. **_

_The teacher turns to Nearchus deciding to pick randomly from the group. __**Ah, Nearchus my boy, what does Alexander here hate most? **_

_**He hates to be mocked. **__The chubby boy answers proudly. _

_The teacher nods__**. How about you Cassander? What does young Alexander hate the most? **_

_**He doesn't like to be thought so little of. **__The mean eyed boy retorts looking at the prince with a grin emerging on his face. Alexander timidly looks away proving them all right, his reaction telling Aristotle everything he needed to know and exactly how the boy felt. _

_**Very good. Who else, yes, Ptolemy?**_

_**He hates not being in control of everything. He doesn't like that he can't see into the future. **__The curled haired boy says. He looks at Alexander apologetically and the prince allows a small smile. _

_**That you are right my boy!**__ Aristotle exclaims and turns back to the blonde prince. __**Your conscious mocks you. It thinks nothing of you and you start to feel like nothing at all and it will keep mocking you until you start to feel empty in the end. **_

_**So that's why I ask, how something that calculating and untrustworthy be the better side when it's not our minds but us who suffer the consequences by its result? Sure we have the chance to fight it but what is the point when it always wins? Why do we fight something stronger and more powerful? After all our human bodies are only hosts of our souls so in reality isn't our soul operating our conscious mind? Isn't it the mind always in control when it comes down to our intellect and reason? Doesn't that make the mind only apart of our soul that which it knows and understands? After all it's the mind that sets us apart from the real living world. As far as I'm concerned we don't stand a chance. **_

_The young innocent eyes of the students follow their instructor as the old man leans away from the bolder he was against and approaches Phillip's boy placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He smiles. __**You have a gift to see the world differently and your perceptions of my teachings are strong and away but you can win anything you want in life, all you have to do is be willing to take it. I believe you can. You might not think you can control your future but believe me Alexander; you have the strength and willpower to control your own destiny. All of us here believe you have that potential. But perhaps you're fighting your conscious unrightfully. **_

_**I know right from wrong Master. **__Alexander answers fiercely. __**And the voices in my head are wrong. I'm fighting it fairly. **_

_Aristotle smiles with intent.__** Then your conscious is going according to plan. Think of it as a lesson young prince, a lesson you shall always remember. A lesson you will be wise yourself to prepare for in your next life to live, as a man and as a king. Because in truth you will struggle most of all.**_

_**And what if I never become king? **__The boy asks, his indifferent eyes destined for greatness. He knows it. As does everyone else. __**What lesson would there be for me to look forward too?**_

_**These lessons will not only come to you when you are king. They will always find you my child**__. A__**nd my advice for you when you undergo this evil persuasion of temptation is to fight, Alexander. **__Aristotle exclaims.__** Fight it to the death because that's what it wants. Fight it for love instead of lust. Fight it for freedom instead of imprisonment. Fight for everything your heart stands for. In order to do that you must relax your mind, you must put all desires to sleep, follow your soul and listen to your heart, always. Your mind and will might be grand but the heart is always precise. So Prince, now that we got that out of the way, I ask, what do you fight for?**_

_**\**_

A panther had encountered a lion in the wild. However it was the panther who found itself lurking in the wrong territory. The sound of the fight became thunderous. There was not even a tiny bit distraction at all between the two wrestling boys regardless of the shouting and cheers coming from the overly hyped crowd of teenagers. Alex's only focus was on Cassy and Cassy's only focus was on Alex as the two enemies struck at each other as hard and heavy as their energy level, testosterone and hatred for each other would allow. Alex wasn't showing an ounce of generosity and Cassy wasn't giving up, attacking back with as much ferocity as his attitude.

The two fought as if they fought before. Every move was one of familiarity.

_Shouting. Growling. Punching. Grass staining clothes. Hands grabbing at us trying to pull Cassy and I apart. Tolem telling us to stop. The cheerleaders gathering by to see the action. More excitement cultivating. Me hurling Cassy to the ground. More students who just happened to be around stopping in to get a better look. Blood staining our clothes. From cuts and torn skin. Us rolling over each other. Me ending up on top. Me wrapping two hands around his neck. Leon running to grab the coach after realizing it was hopeless. Cassy trying to knock me off as he aims three hard punches to the right of my face. Cleitus with a video camera recording it. Phil and Crater hollering. Cassy lashing me aside. Us both rising. Him wiping his bloody mouth and me wiping the warm blood from the side of my face. Our violent breathing becoming agitated and impatient. Our strings of sweaty hair falling into our eyes._

"Fuck you Alex!"

"No fuck you Cassy!"

"You guys cut it out!" Tolem tried keeping the two apart with the help of Perdicas but Alex knocked Perdicas away and Cassy shoved Tolem, and the two animals went back at it. The constant cheers only ruling them on and encouraging said behavior.

Tolem backed away from the two unmanageable humans thinking over his attempt at stopping them and Perdicas flew up his hands with a 'what the hell' look. It wasn't easy being apart of a group of friends who couldn't stand each other. And he was certain the rest felt the same frustration…Well maybe not Phai because Cassy wasn't Phai's friend and Alex was much more than a friend but either way this was getting out of hand.

Perdicas rolled his eyes. Tolem sighed. Then they turned to Phai wondering about his feelings in all of this. He was so quiet they almost forgot he was even there. They wouldn't have been surprised if he ended up leaving either.

"I take it this isn't what you had in mind today." Tolem asked Phai just because of Phai's look alone. First, Phai couldn't believe how fast this had spiraled. He really didn't see anything coming as far as the fighting went. Second he couldn't believe how many useless people found it so fascinating including their own friends. Third seeing Alex with this new found confidence was not only sexy as hell but it shocked him severely and not in a good way. Also on top of that both Alex and Cassy had some very violent tendencies and anger issues they needed to resolve. Phai knew how Alex was, even before he actually knew him. Alex held in too much anger. Too much anger than he could swallow. And he knew Alex wasn't truly upset with Cassy. He was never angry with anyone but himself and that brought out the worst in him. And even though he knew the source of Alex's anger, he couldn't quite figure out Cassy just yet.

"No. It wasn't." Phai looked preoccupied in thoughts but had his attention on the fight, a part of him acting as if he didn't particularly care even though it was apparent that he did because of the aggravation deepening in his blue gaze. He lifted darkly his eyes at Tolem with a slightly risen brow, motioning with his shoulders that there was nothing he could do about it. When Tolem shook his head in partial acceptance, Phai exhaled impatiently looking back at the two fighting cats.

_I wanted to kill him. And all the anger and frustration and anticipation that I felt inside me, I really thought I was. And there was no one who could stop me. There was no one who would even risk their own safety in trying. I was an unstoppable force. I've always had been. I was volatile and impulsive and there was nothing anyone could do about it. _

_And if anyone was a greater witness to my indiscretion, it was Phai. I saw him from the corner of my eye. He's sad. He's angry. He's confused. He's hurt. He's annoyed. He wants this to end. But there is something sinister in him, where he's frightened and awed but impressed and delighted at the same time. And in spite of not one smile forming on his lips, there is one hidden in his eyes. He feels all of these emotions and it's spoken and articulated in just one single expression. All of it. He's always been a mix of beautiful and vice. Like an angel and demon but with more angel. Could he be anymore brilliant? _

Then a sharp pain, shot inside Alex's head out of nowhere when he saw the dim watery blue eyes softly expressing him to stop, and a collection of images surfaced into his mind.

_The pain was nothing new to me but through one deep breath my mind traced back from this moment all the way back to my life as a young prince, where the Phai from my past is watching a little Cassander and I wrestle in the dirt. We're wrestling each other out of anger and intemperance because an argument between us had started. Our friends are trying to tear us apart from each other; but we don't allow it. We don't budge for them. No one has any idea what we were skirmishing belligerently about but they didn't need to know. Because he knew. The one watching us with wide feared blue eyes afraid we were going to kill each other. _

_More and more of our friends gather around worried and desperate telling us to stop, but we keep at it like two wild cats forced to fight to the death and t__he browned haired boy who we were fighting over folds his arms ashamed at the both of us and looks away, as Aristotle and my father run up prepared to stop the small quarrel. _

It took a moment before Alex came back to the present and he could feel his blood starting to boil, and it might have been the cause of the distant echoes that rang and rang and kept ringing in his ears. It could also be because he had no self control infront of Phai who he knew hated it when he was like this.

Phai folded his arms clearly disappointed in the situation and at the way they both decided to handle it. He looked away sighing once more.

_Phai once told me that being around me when my moods changed felt surreal. And then he told me that the reason why people took precaution of me was because of what I became, what I changed in to. They were afraid of me. Phai didn't like seeing me like this and I wasn't surprised to see tears smearing on the hand I was striking Cassy with. I didn't like seeing me like this either. And I hated that he had to see it again. __This had nothing to do with the rude remark Cassy had made earlier. I punched him so that Cassy knew his place. And now Cassy will learn that I am not that Alex anymore. I was not the innocent boy watching Phai from the pond everyday. I was not the innocent boy too shy to even speak to him. I wasn't the boy that Cassy poked fun at anymore. I wasn't the boy who allowed his father to talk down to him. I wasn't the boy who allowed his mother to coddle him. I wasn't the boy who allowed Roxanne to manipulate me. I wasn't the boy who allowed others to control my destiny. However I was still that boy who watched the beautiful brunette boy everyday at sunset down at the pond. I was the boy who gained enough courage to speak to the brunette at the zoo when I was just in middle school. I was the boy who finally owned his heart. Cassy can hate me all he wants because I didn't care. __Phai wasn't impressed by our fighting. He's never been impressed by it. So I stopped. I let my hands release around Cassy's neck and I allow myself to submit. I looked right at Phai and closed my eyes before I let Cassy do whatever he wanted as he took over, fastening me to the ground with all his weight and strength and begins pummeling in my face with heavy strikes. He's furious hitting as hard as he can and I just let him. I refused to fight back and I refused to struggle against him. I just let my body relax as I swallowed my own blood. Letting my mind float somewhere else. _

_This isn't the worst beating I have received in my life. I have had a lot worse injuries during my years of battle, ones that were even fatal. Infact I was infamous for receiving injuries and proceeding on like the pain never even existed. I could feel the cuts in my mouth opening and tearing because of the constant blows to my jaw. I can feel the side of my face swelling and my vision becoming cloudy. I can feel newly made blood starting to run down my face. I can see the anger, hatred and animosity in Cassy's eyes with every fist he launched at me. Then I started to laugh. For no reason I could think of and t__he moment the students realized I wasn't going to be fighting back anytime soon and as I lay submissive out of random allowing Cassy to beat the shit out of me, they all rushed in trying to stop him. _

_So what do I fight for? Let's see, __I'm smart, brave, loud, social, charismatic, and fierce, all traits just like a lion but do I fight for that? Do I fight to be liked? Maybe. __Maybe I fight for a future I was already planning? In fact all I really wanted was to be greater than my father. But that was before I knew I could make out my future through the soul of another. __So did I fight for the world? I knew I could rule the world…but never could I rule my own head. Arrogance was not an option. So did I fight to be loved?_

_**/**_

_The boys are chuckling to one another as they gather back after a long needed break to continue their teachings. _

_**Now class, quiet down. **__The old professor instructs quieting the boys. __**We have a new guest who will be joining us in this remarkable lesson today**__. The old man chuckles lightly to himself and extends his arm welcoming the new boy. _

_The prince raises his head and his once downcast gaze captures big desolate sapphires. _The prince merely stares back finding himself dumbfounded. _The new boy blinks and smiles shyly at the other boys but not the prince. He, with a burnt brown head of hair and so beautiful, doesn't bother acknowledging the prince. _

_**His name is Hephaistion. **__Aristotle introduces allowing the boy to take a seat next to Ptolemy. _

_From the far right of the gathering grounds Alexander watched him sit. He watched Ptolemy hand him some supplies. And the new boy didn't pay the prince any attention, ignoring the blonde's determination to be acknowledged. _

_The prince looks at him so that the new boy may look back. But no such luck._

**\**

_Sometimes what is in reality doesn't necessarily mean things are actually real. Yes, the world around me felt real and I thought I could prove it by the blood I tasted as Cassy struck my jaw. I thought if something happened before my very eyes it had to be real because I was a witness to it. _

_In my young life as a prince I knew the battles my father had fought and the battles I would have fought later on were real. I knew my friends and allies who followed me through hard worn and new grounds were real. I knew that even my death would become real. _

_I can say this about what's true and what's false because since my birth I've lived inside a myth. In this new life and in my old one. The myth was all around me. Everywhere I went. In my sleep with cold snakes. In my wars with mad men. I've lived around a myth of my mother's lies and loneliness and the myth of my father's extreme dislike for me. The myth of my own companions jealousy of what I have and what I had to offer. The myth of me becoming a god and being the son of one. That was never real. Myths aren't real. Myths are beliefs. Stories. False tales told to the worldview of people so that they can believe in something. _

_My mother always read me stories but their was one specifically that I remember. She told me of the Greek Legend about a beautiful young lady who was loved by the great Eros, the god of love and passion. Aphrodite, jealous, lasted long in detest until she overcame her depression and that girl became the image of the soul. _Whose soul, I still don't know but I relived this tale as a youth when I met my own essence of my other soul. __

_I've had my share of both good and bad, followed by my favorite myths or myths influenced around me. I believed I could fly when I was just five years old. I believed I could rule the world when I was three. I believed in me and only me and I think the reason for my death would be because of it. I would become a tyrant because of it. My kingdom will collapse because of it. And my world will fall apart because of it. This will all happen at the foot of my death bed but the question is would I care at all or was I just lucky to have had someone in my life?_

* * *

><p>Leon came running back almost out of breath. "The coach is on his way. I think the principal is too. He is not too happy."<p>

"Seriously?" Tolem asked shocked that he was even surprised about it. Of course the coach would be angry. The two captains of the team weren't playing well together.

"Yea." Leon nodded.

"How mad?" Phai asked.

"I don't know. But I wouldn't be surprised if he suspended them both."

"Hey may I have your attention please! Everyone split, the principal is coming!" Cleitus shouted and once the students heard that, they all ran like a flock of drug dealers running from the police. They were out of there faster than they joined.

Phai rolled his eyes. They could always count on Cleitus to make things much more dramatic.

"Hey you two knock it off. What the hell is going on!" The coach shouted running over to where the two boys were at, the principal of the school only shortly behind him.

Cassy was still fucking Alex up when the coach stormed over blowing his whistle for them to break it up. When Cassy wasn't stopping, the principal clutched his arms around him, pulling him off, while the coach approached and leaned by Alex's side looking over him quickly, not believing they went this far, even though the blonde was just laughing like a maniac with a bloody mouth and face.

"I hope you released all the anger you needed to Cassy." Alex said chuckling deeply while spitting up blood on the grass and while bringing himself to stand.

"What the hell do you guys think you're doing huh? You know this is absolutely inappropriate and prohibited on the school grounds!" The coach yelled strictly.

Since none of them were answering clearly to worked up to even speak, the coach turned looking at Tolem, Phai, Leon and the rest of the friends who were the only ones left at the scene. "Well, what happened?"

"We got into a confrontation. That's what fucking happened." Cassy answered while holding his side that was throbbing vigorously.

"No shit you smartass. What the hell could you two be fighting about this time?" The coach made himself clearer looking at both demanding a legitimate answer.

"Nothing." Alex answered.

"You call this bleeding all over the place nothing?" The principal couldn't believe it.

"Yea." The blonde grew a disturbed grin. "It was nothing."

Phai rolled his eyes and spoke up for the both of them. "It's always been about one thing. It's about this two captain thing. They don't like it. They want just one."

The coach looked at Phai and then back at the other two disbelievingly. "Is this what this is about. You guys are fighting over who gets to be captain? You know what you guys do not have a say in that. I'm in charge here!"

"You're in charge huh? Does sitting at your desk all day make you in charge or am I missing something?" Alex said while spewing out more blood on the grass.

"Don't give me that Alex. Whatever you and Cassy have going on is not allowed on school grounds period, is that understood!?"

"Yes sir." Alex reluctantly replied.

"That's what I thought. You have been slipping Alex and not to mention you guys will all be graduates this year, hopefully. And Cassy, wherever you are there is trouble and whatever you're causing has got to stop! Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." Cassy also reluctantly replied.

"Now both of you are lucky that you're good students. And you're damn well lucky I like you guys. But if this ever happens again, you will be suspended from the school for good. No more chances. Am I making myself clear?" The principal mediated.

"Yes sir." They both replied

"Now who started this?"

Alex rose his hand saving Cassy the trouble. "I did."

"That's a three day suspension for you Alex. It would have been a week but I'm feeling a bit generous since you've already earned yourself one."

"How kind." Alex sarcastically answered as his tongue danced around the inside of his mouth playing with the open cuts, surprised he didn't have any broken teeth or a fractured jaw.

The principal looked at his watch, sighing. "We have about an hour and a half left until school is over. I need the both of you to go clean up now and get medical attention immediately. Then Alex come stop by my office. You and I have a lot to talk about."

Alex laughed at that like suggesting such a thing was absurd. "Another day. It can wait. I will meet you in your office when I come back in three days." The blonde took off to go do his fifteen morning laps around the school, that the team didn't get a chance to get too because of the obvious quarrel.

"What the hell is he doing?" The coach asked angrily and the other boys just shrugged.

Alex decided to ignore the 'medical attention' part despite having blood running down the side of his face and ear, his bottom lip split down the middle, and his left eye closing on him, while turning a multitude of colors because of swelling. His right eye was just fine but he was sure the after effects hadn't shown up yet. Cassy was bleeding from his mouth, with two busted lips, the area around his ribs all bruised greenish purple, his normal skin barely noticeable, two black eyes with minor cuts all over his body. In other words he was in worse shape then Alex despite Alex refusing to fight back in that last half. They were lucky to even have an infirmary at the school. The amount of fights at that school was very high.

The coach sighed and the principal shook his head with an agitated huff, as they watched the teen turn his back and proceed to walk away. The blonde at times was far more frustrating than Cassy which was surprising because Alex was a great student. He was smart, he was determined, passionate and Cassy was the opposite. He was smart but he slacked off, with no motivation to do anything. But what it came down to was that both of them clashed because they were both strong in personality and opposite in qualities. The principal looked to the others boys. "As for everyone else, you will stay for the rest of practice and someone go get Alex for me before he kills himself. Leon you're in charge for the rest of practice. You boys need to be on your best game."

Leon just nodded. Cassy and Phil left heading back towards the doors of the school and the rest of the friends were just looking at each other trying to figure out in their heads who would be best to go get Alex.

"I'm not going." Perdicas decided to just go ahead and say it.

"It's a suicide mission." Crater proclaimed.

"Well I can't go anyway because I was put in charge." Leon shrugged.

"Are you guys serious right now?" Tolem responded. "You are a bunch of pansies."

"Whatever, you try getting Alex, we'll see how well that works for you."

"You guys are pathetic." Phai said grabbing his backpack and heading off in the direction Alex left.

* * *

><p>Alex was jogging slightly stumblingly along the path of the school before he reacted quickly to a coughing attack. He stopped and grabbed on to the metal fences available to him as he coughed until blood accumulated from his insides, and then he spat the nasty liquid on the concrete of the sidewalk. He wiped his mouth with his shirt and immediately after, began to cough more, this time puking. It had to do with Cassy punching him too many times in the stomach, all the food he had for breakfast and part of his sickness he has been fighting for so long. All of it made for a real bad day and a real bad feeling. He still felt he was undergoing over and over the beating he was given just minutes ago.<p>

The cheerleaders running their laps passed by the blonde looking with grossed out faces, some even laughing about it. Roxanne was running with them and she and Alex spotted each other and they only shared a quick glance before looking away, Roxanne grinning halfheartedly like he deserved it and Alex just rolling his eyes before pulling away from the fence with any strength left and continuing his laps as if nothing was wrong.

Even though he started out jogging, he found that he slowly graduated into walking when he himself was thinking he was crazy for doing this with possible broken body parts. What the hell was he thinking. The heat of the sun wasn't helping either. It was just making him more nauseated.

He hunched over coughing some more, while holding a hand at his rib cage. His lungs felt out of breath like they were collapsing on him and the air struggled to enter and leave his body. Phai came up beside Alex, not saying a word but just being there for him. The blonde smiled under his stringy sweaty hair knowing that it was Phai by his side, and he straitened up and looked at his friend. They both continued to walk next to each other smiling, in Alex's case trying to smile because of the cuts and bruising, and that's all they shared.

As they walked and as Alex forced himself to keep going he would stop and throw up a couple of times. Phai was patient with him. He wasn't even going to bother trying to get Alex to head back to the school. The blonde was far too stubborn to do that, far too determined to prove everyone wrong and even more prideful to admit something was wrong. And though he was in pretty bad shape, he still managed to jog two laps and walk one.

Alex finally gave up and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, closing his eyes for a moment, hoping they would never open again. The thought of that sounded irresistible until he did open them and found himself staring deeply at the love of his life. Then keeping his eyes open didn't seem so bad.

Phai sat too and started rubbing Alex's back. He moved his hair out of the way with the motion of his hand, while the blonde emptied his stomach once more. "Damnit Alex." The brunette whispered to himself frustrated that Alex would never talk about things, but loving enough to give Alex his space and time to figure out what it was he needed to figure out. Alex was too manly to ask for help. Something Phillip had taught him never to do as he was growing up.

Alex brushed away whatever thoughts were on his mind and patted Phai's leg. "Okay I'm ready. I need to finish."

"No you're not going anywhere." Phai's tone hardened.

"Yes I am." The blonde argued, defiance still reigning in his eyes. "Just five more laps."

"I don't think you're going to make it." Phai sighed placing hands on his hips.

Alex stood, steadying his stance but he quickly turned lightheaded and his entire body was ready to collapse but Phai caught him before he could hit the ground. "Okay maybe I'm not."

"No you're not. Here." Phai handed him the water bottle he knew he would need. "Drink it all."

Alex just took the bottle and held onto it, not drinking it just yet. He just stared at Phai.

Phai sighed with an apologetic smile. "You know I wanted you to stop but I didn't mean for you to literally just stop. You shouldn't have let Cassy do that to you."

Alex just shrugged. He felt like he wanted to pass out but he knew he couldn't pass because that would defeat the purpose of his eyes staying forever open so he would just have to deal with the idea of passing out and forever staying passed out.

Phai sighed. "Come on, let's go. You can't be here right now. We need to get you cleaned up."

Phai walked with Alex, holding onto him as he took him back to Alex's car. He fished for Alex's keys in the blondes pocket and took him to the passenger seat. He helped him get in and situated. "I will be right back. I'm gonna go grab our things." Phai said closing the door and Alex tried resting his eyes as Phai ran back to the school to let the coach know he was going to take Alex home.

* * *

><p>After Cassy left the school infirmary, finding out nothing was broken, he headed to the gym showers to clean up the blood and grime all over his body. Once he was done with that he went to his locker to grab his stuff, trying to think of a place to go instead of home. If his father saw him like this, he would probably degrade him and beat the shit out of him some more so going home wasn't an option. He took out his phone and texted Cleitus, while putting on his shirt, slowly over his head, due to the pain soaring throughout his body. His muscles were tight and stiff and he was surprised he could move at all.<p>

After that he reached for the duffel bag on the top shelf of his locker, grunting inwardly because of the weight. And his weak sore muscles couldn't lift anything heavy right now.

"Need a hand?" Roxanne came in, stopping by, leaning against one of the lockers in the boys room.

School was just out, the lights were already turning off and the janitors were already making their sweep around the school.

"Go away." The mean eyed boy replied.

"Isn't this a lovely surprise. Big and bad Cassy beat up by his old best friend. How cute. If I didn't know better you two are like an old married couple, kind of like your parents." She slipped her hands in the back pockets of her shorts.

Cassy turned to her. "You know what Roxanne, I hate Alex but I'm gonna give him the credit for leaving your skanky ass."

"You don't think I'm over him already?"

"You will never get over Alex. That's impossible for you. You can parade around all you want but deep down in that desperate, conceiving fucking soul of yours you still want to be all on that dick of his. But he will never give it to you because he likes his dick in someone else."

Roxanne walked up to Cassy, biting her lip as she ran her hands down his chest, looking up to him with the devil dancing in her eyes. "And where does your dick like to be?" She asked sneaking her hands down towards his fliers, slowly unzipping them, daring and challenge in her dark tone. "Oh yes, it likes to be where it can't go. In Phai." she whispered with little to no pity.

The boy tensed aggravated, as the dark girl reached into his jeans and started to feel him up while she placed her other hand around his neck.

Cassy glared into the eyes of the giggling girl. "Oh Cassy I say this often but you are really pathetic."

"And you're not?" he countered aggressively.

"No." She grinned. "Because what I want I get and I'm going to get Alex back. You are right about one thing. I'm not over him."

"How are you going to do that?" Cassy sent back a vibe that she was out of her fucking mind.

"Have faith." She said in a quiet purr. "Let's just say I will do us both a favor. All you have to do, is go to prom with me." A smile played upon her fruitful lips.

Cassy scoffed. "Phai doesn't like me enough to get jealous over seeing you and I together and I'm sure it's the same for Alex. Infact they're probably going to laugh at you realizing your desperate attempt at getting Alex back. I would never go to prom with you."

The teen girl stepped in closer to him still with her hand in his pants and he grunted under his breath as her cold hand wrapped tighter around his groin. "You don't have a choice." She stated. "I control the school walls and what's said and what isn't said and trust me no girl would go out with you if I tell them not to. You may be cute but I can change all that. You will ask me, I know you will." Roxanne then kissed him just at the corner of his lips seeking to tempt him fully. Cassy falling for the lust, found his hands gliding up the sides of her belly still expressing in his face how much dislike he held for the girl who was now becoming a dangerous woman. Her hands placing over his, guiding them up to her breasts. She knew men had weak minds when it came to sexual ways and she didn't see why she wouldn't take full advantage as long as she got her way in the end. She hummed against his mouth and threw her head back as his hands finally found under her bra. The girl smirked as he grabbed at her, kissing at her neck hungrily. She moaned as he felt her up.

But then Cassy stopped his chapped lips meeting at her ear and he whispered to her coldly. "Do not approach me again. If I'm up for it I will come to you." And he pushed her aside grabbing his things to go.

She wiped her lips before folding her arms and watched as he left through the locker room doors.

* * *

><p>Alex hissed a bit when Phai brought the alcohol pad to his face. "Ow, ow." The blonde took Phai's hands and held them away from his face.<p>

Phai sighed. "Oh don't be such a baby. You took the beating just fine, what's a little alcohol going to do."

"It stings that's all."

Phai smiled when Alex calmed down and let him return back to what he was trying to do.

Alex smiled back. "What are you smiling at?" The blonde asked.

"What are you smiling at?" Phai asked in return as he cleaned up the blood from Alex's face. He knew a lot about this type of stuff because his mom being a registered nurse and his father being also a medical aid in the military, so to there convenience, their were a bunch of medical kits and supplies laying around the house.

"I'm smiling at you smiling." Alex replied.

"And I'm smiling at you." Phai said. Then he kissed Alex on the top of his golden head of hair. "You are everything to me and I would do anything for you Alex. I hope you know that."

"I would do the same." The blonde responded looking back at him and for awhile there they never broke the contact until they both found themselves blushing madly, so they returned quietly back to being the patient and the doctor. Phai unwrapped some gauze and bandages for later.

Alex just watched Phai as the brunette took care of the bad growing injuries on his face, cleaning them out.

"I'm surprised nothing is broken." Phai said after putting pressure on the side of Alex's face to see what the damage done was.

"I have a thick skull." The blonde answered.

"Wow, your skull is as stubborn as you are? What are the odds?"

"Thankyou." Alex sounded softly.

"For what?" Phai lifted his eyes back up at the blonde.

"This. What you're doing."

"Always."

Then it went back to comfortable silence as Phai scuffled through the medicine cabinet looking for the Band-Aids they seem to run out of often due to Callista getting into shit she shouldn't get in to. "Alex, how am I?"

"What?" Alex immediately looked at him wondering if he really just asked him that.

"The visions that you have. How am I? What am I like?" Phai asked, finally finding some bandaids and walking back over to Alex. He halfway smirked as he saw Alex just staring at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing I could have sworn you asked me that before." The blonde shifted uncomfortably, and he winced, because even with little movement it caused more aching.

"No I never have." Phai shook his head applying a bandaid to Alex's gashed up elbow telling him to not move. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to though. I was just curious." Then he stood back. "Okay lift up your shirt."

Alex lifted up his shirt not knowing something would be there enough to shock Phai. "Jesus Christ Alex." Phai said examining the dark bruises and gashes all along his ribcage and stomach. "This is worst than your face."

"Thanks." Alex really didn't care.

"No I'm being serious, this is bad. You might have a broken rib or something or multiple broken ribs. A lot of these cuts need stitches Alex. Oh my god I didn't know skin could turn that color. I need to get you to a doctor."

"I'm not going to a doctor." The blonde said pushing back down his shirt. "I feel like shit but I'm not in bad enough shape to see the doctor."

"How the hell would you even know?"

"I wouldn't but I'm okay with you taking care of me." Alex smiled with a nod like it was just simple as that.

"I don't know what to look for Alex. I really should be calling your doctor." Phai grabbed the house phone.

"I love you. You are everything to me. I don't say it often and when I do I say it in my head. The first time I ever fell in love, I remember watching you sleeping peacefully in the boat that your father had made for you, by the pond. I don't remember a starting point in my life but I do remember you."

Phai was caught off guard not expecting any of that. He gradually calmed down about the entire doctor thing, as he now stood before Alex, his complete attention given.

"What I know of this general is that he's the love of my life. My moon. My stars. Because you shine in everything you do. You impress with everything that you do. You are highly individualistic something I can never be. Sometimes when I come off as detached because I'm hurting inside you always seem to know what to say and do to help me back on my feet again. You are kind and generous and you love me unconditionally. You are the very definition of love. You were my counselor, my role model and my best friend. I've always thought you were born just for me, just so that you can save me from myself. I also know that the gods, whichever god it may be sent you to me from the heavens above. Like a guardian angel, making sure I don't stay lost. Making sure that I can be found. Making sure that the revolution that has begun inside me calms down. That the war I've started within myself comes to an end. Because without you, it feels like I've never even been alive before and that nothing is ordinary about me. You are my heart Phai and you saved my life, countless of times. You would do anything for me. And what can I even say to that. How can I beat that? My love is weaker than yours and I don't deserve you. Phai, as I know you, you are eternal and flawless. Beautiful. Gifted. One of a kind. Intelligent. Pure hearted. Caring. Strong headed. Tough. Impressive. Imaginative. Shy. Cautious. Modest. Confident. Practical. Generous. Loving. Curious. Innocent. Beautiful. My god you are beautiful in every way imaginable. And I love you for that. I love you more than you could even imagine."

The brunette bit his bottom lip. He didn't know what to say and he looked at the phone in his hand and then back at Alex. He still couldn't say anything. He didn't know why it was so shocking. It just was. But he didn't understand why he didn't want Alex to know how much that meant to him.

His blue eyes peered away towards the window to the left of him before clearing his throat once more. "Um." His words faltered. Tears tried to escape his eyes. He had no idea what was wrong with him or where these emotions were coming from. He could have sworn he heard his heartbeat rumbling loud under his ribs. He brought his hand to swipe away the lines of water that had composed from his eyes down his cheeks.

"You shine when you cry Phai. And you don't have to say anything. But I need you to know that I love you. I loved you yesterday and I will love you today, tomorrow and any day that follows. I will love you through your pain and your joy and your sorrow and I will say it again and again until you get tired of hearing it. I don't know how else to put it."

Now Phai was frozen in place.

Alex lowered his head. "When Alexander first met Hephaistion, Alexander thought he was sold out of dreams until he realized that he was the one who held him under a spell. I wasn't supposed to know my future. I wasn't supposed to understand it but when I saw you, I lived it. You looked at me and glared and right then and there I already knew I became the sun and the air of your life. The sun to light my path and the air to help me breath. But for some reason only I knew it and you didn't. I looked away from you for awhile trying to focus my attention back on our teacher but I found myself stealing glances. You looked at me again, this time with stronger loathing. I remember smiling because now I was able to get your attention. I thought what a beautiful arrogance this boy had, thinking he can ignore his prince like that. You had me so wild inside, you had no idea. I knew right then and there everything I needed to do to make you mine. I told myself that I needed to promise four things in order to get you to be mine."

"What were they?" Phai didn't notice how tight he was clenching onto the phone. He also didn't notice that he just barely whispered and choked over the question. He also didn't know how long he could fight the urge to not jump at Alex and kiss him to death.

"I promised we were going to be friends beyond Achilles and Patroclus. I promised I was going to tame a black wild horse to take you and I anywhere we wanted around the world. I promised to prove my father and mother wrong, that I was capable of doing anything I put my mind to. I promised that in order for you to not leave my side, I was going to conquer the world so that I could conquer you and I did all of that for nothing. I just needed to prove myself. I wanted you to know how far I would go to get you. How far I would go to get the world for you but it all went to waste because I had you since the moment I saw you."

"So how did I, I mean how did Hephaistion respond when he figured out that what you did was all for nothing?" Phai asked with nervous speech.

Alex hopped off of the counter and stepped up to Phai, purposefully making close contact. "He took my hand, and brought me to his room. He closed the doors and excused the guards. He laid me on the covers of his bed and he started to play with me, teasing my feelings in a dark pleasure."

Phai kept eyes intently on Alex's. "Really?"

The blonde nodded as he inched closer to the brunette. "And my interest in him sparked like a flame." Alex cocked his head. "He traced my flesh with cold fingers and my eyes got lost in fire. My heart, my tongue, my skin was overheating and he had just the right touch to cool me down. He and I made love to each other and he told me that he loved me more than the sun and the stars as I drifted away into his arms."

Alex's lips slowly made contact with Phai's, sliding them first against his ear, then his cheek, then pausing to plant small kisses at his jaw. "The reason I've been stuck in a myth for so long Phai, is because you are far too good to be true. You are beyond my imagining and I have been imagining things far beyond my time to speak or to think. I could imagine an unknown world, building it to magnificence from scratch. I could imagine the splendor and beauty beyond any glory, previous kings and gods couldn't even achieve. But for some reason I couldn't imagine the brilliance and perfection of one human."

"Did you talk to me that day when you first met me?" Phai lifted curious and entranced eyes at Alex.

"Yea, the studies ended and no one seemed too fond of you but Nearchus and Ptolemy. So I waited patiently until they were done introducing themselves and until it was just you and I. We were told to clear out because it was raining but I said 'fuck the rain' and I came up to you and I said. 'Hello.' It was a bold introduction even for me, considering my nerves shaking and scattering throughout my body. You bowed your head slightly knowing me for my status. You said back 'Hello Prince Alexander. My father knows your father very well. It's going to be an honor to learn in your presence.' I remember nodding. And I said something so stupid."

"What?" Phai's mouth moved softly against Alex's lips.

"I said, 'You are not going to believe this but I think I was meant to be with you.'

"What made you think that?" Phai asked as Alex threaded his fingers softly through the brown thick hair of his friend.

"You said exactly that. You asked why I thought that and you had this deep confusion in your eyes. Like I was a weirdo. But I responded anyway. I said 'Because I feel like I know myself when I look at you.' You replied back, 'You don't know me Prince Alexander. It could be just your mind playing a trick on you. I get those tricks all the time.' It took me so long to win your heart and that's when I felt like giving up."

Phai was officially jealous of this Hephaistion of Alex's dreams.

"Did you give up?" Phai asked with deep blue eyes fixed onto dissimilar ones.

Alexander kissed Phai in a hurry. He ran his rougher hands down the skin of his lovers sensitive neck absorbing this perfect capture of time.

**_/_**

_**It's starting to pour, we should get inside.** The new boy advised the prince who didn't look ready to go anywhere. _

_**Wait.** The prince stopped him. _**_So you're not a myth? _**_The prince asks in confusion._

**_Why would I be a myth? _**_The new student asks back in deeper confusion._

**_Because you're flawless. You're like everything described in a story. You're like a fantasy. You could be a dream as well but you just don't know it. _**

**_I'm flattered but maybe you read too much mythical stories and apply it to your own lifestyle Prince. _**

**_I see it so why can't you?_**

**_See what? _**_The brunette boy chuckled.__The prince not being what he expected him to be._

**A_ren't you my other half? _**

**_No? _**_Hephaistion shook his head._

**_That wasn't supposed to be your answer. _**_Alexander now turned frustrated._

**_What was supposed to be my answer? _**

**Y_our answer was supposed to be yes. _**

_The browned haired boy smiles. **Really?**_

**_Yes. _**_The prince nods._

**_Bye Prince Alexander._**

_Then the new boy was gone from his sight just like that._

**_\_**

* * *

><p>They were hiding but watching in secret through the thick woodlands at their captured prisoner trying to get away. Little did the general know that an unpleasant result would happen by his escaping.<p>

Hephaistion was surrounded and before he knew it he was pitched to the ground by the Indians who had been prying on him. There were only five that the general counted before he swung the spear, piercing one of them through the heart. But immediately after the dead man collapsed, Hephaistion found himself outnumbered and he realized now that there were at least close to nine of them. He was pushed to the ground again and the enemy began speaking to each other in their language. The general attempted to crawl away but was stopped, being yanked back by his ankle. When the enemy had formed a circle around him closing in on him, the general looked up and saw the searing gaze of the one who had stepped in front of him. Then he backed away as fast as possible and his fear quickly sustained.

"This one is woman." One of the Indian men spoke to another while briskly pointing their spear at the outsider.

They laughed like children pulling the wings off of a butterfly, as the hunted one hit at one of the spears they had poking at his skin.

"He not woman if he can't make child." Another commented while lifting the mans chin with the tip of his javelin. Stroking the bumpy skin. Hephaistion growled at them striking at the spear which caused the spear to slip and leave a bleeding cut on the open throat of the pretty man.

They all joined in laughing once more when Hephaistion rubbed his neck of the blood.

"Please just let me go." The outsider pleaded.

"He begs like child." One spoke up disregarding his plea.

"Please." The general started to tear up. "I just want my king."

Then they busted out in wild laughs, and without seeing it coming the Indian who mocked him pierced the general's thigh with his spear after catching him off guard. Hephaistion cried out in anguish as he fell to one knee. Then the Indian with the spear and enthusiastic laughter proceeded to stab the same area, pushing way through the entire flesh and bone. By this time Hephaistion had already lost his spear, not being able to hold onto it as it was taken from him and as he fell on his back, his head getting heavy and the shuttering pain in his leg being to much to bear.

Hephaistion started to twist and lash once his mouth was covered with the dirty hands trying to keep him from screaming in torment from the spear twisting around in his open wound. They looked upon the struggling foreigner with flashes of curiosity as more hands met his goose bumped skin and as they planted his arms and hands to the ground.

Hephaistion was a bit familiar with India, only because of the battle which they almost lost and that he went with Alexander to speak to many chiefs and satraps of the Indian tribes they had conquered. But the one he really dealt with was Porus, the Indian ruler of the Nanda Empire but he recognized Porus' people, and these weren't the Indians of that tribe. These Indians were of a different tribe. A more hostile one.

Another aggressive attempt was made on the outsider as the Indian men tried stripping away his clothes, laughing and mocking his cries. "He even cries like a woman."

"Get off me!" Hephaistion shouted and squirmed not being able to render enough strength to keep them off. He then felt a swift hit to the face and a heavy hand pressing down at his neck, and they reveled in the strangling cries. And the enemy bounding and encircling him continued to touch and grab roughly and violently at the unwelcomed guest.

His eyes widened at the pointed arrow they had brought in front of his face. Hephaistion recognized the liquid poison at the tip of it, the one that struck his horse, and he fought and struggled much more drivingly in another attempt of escape, but they wouldn't let him slip away from them this time. "Please don't do this." He saw them bringing it under the flap of his chiton and armor and he tried kicking them away but his legs were restrained being forced to spread, as well as his arms. But there wasn't much he could do against nine men alone. Not to mention one of his legs were numb because of the constant blood flowing free.

His breathing became heavy as one traced filthy fingers down his cheek and lips. He wasn't prepared as he cried out when he felt the puncture and penetration of the arrow and the raking of multiple nails running down his skin, peeling his flesh.

Then the next thing he knew his sight was getting blurry, the poison kicking in instantly. His skin began to tingle. The feeling being like tiny bugs crawling over him. His screaming was muffled. He felt pain in more than one area of his body. He felt his muscles weakening and his throat dry and throbbing. He knew he was screaming. He knew tears were there. He knew a man was mounting him. He knew other men were holding him down, some forcing his legs further apart, as some used their fingers to violate him. He felt calloused hands squeezing and clenching his wrists cutting off the circulation. He felt them grabbing and pulling at clumps of his hair. He felt a wetness of tongues on his body. He saw their nasty teeth gnashing before he couldn't move a single muscle.

After forcing themselves inside of him, they brutally beat him. Then they left him on the jungle ground in leaves and mud, unable to move or speak. And he was just barely breathing.

Hephaistion had been through many Indian Territory before and was knowledgeable of the many different tribes of India and if he knew anything about them at all he knew how the men treated the women. They raped them and tortured them if disobedient or if one was unable to produce children. In this instance they were treating him as a woman. As insignificant. As an outsider. And as a lover to the Great King they had captured and killed. King Alexander had conquered many. Then after the long battle won, his men had took refuge where Alexander fell into acoma. They never thought he would wake up, but the plan was to make sure the king would get better, and then Alexander's plan would have been to keep conquering the rest of the tribes of India. But the news had got to some Indian tribes. They knew the man was dangerous. They knew the king was unstoppable. Alexander was a foreign king of great importance and great ambition and when they heard the news that the king was ill, they decided to seek him out, while he was still weak, capture him before he could conquer their people and then kill him so that they had nothing left to fear.

One of the children from the tribe, peeked out from the bushes at the 'wild haired' outsider bleeding out and dying. He crept out from his hiding spot and slowly approached the heaving man. There was nothing the little Indian boy could do for him but place a torn piece of red cloth from the former kings cloak inside of his hand. The general using any strength he had, slowly looked over at the boy and then at the cloth recognizing his lovers cloak.

_Hephaistion kissed his king and the golden haired man ran his hands through his lovers hair. "I would be lost without you Hephaistion."_

_"Don't worry my love. I would find you."_

Hephaistion's eyes started to gather and slip away more tears as he cried out as loud as he could for his dead king.

__I didn't know what I fought for, but I knew what I wanted to fight for. The thing is I __didn't have anything to fight for at the time and that's why my conscious mocked me. Then I met Phai. And the fighting never stopped. __

_And for once I experienced a real myth. _

* * *

><p><strong> Here's another long chapter up! I apologize for any late updates. Thank you again for your patience as always and I hope you enjoy!<strong>

**- Stranger**


	27. Chapter 27

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Six **

_**/**_

_Being lost and missing was like not being gone at all. Being found however, felt like I was missing forever. And then being lost was something I was praying and hoping to long for once again...__Another time. Because lost are the days that are lost. Until it isn't anymore. _

_I was just going to wait there, fading, wherever I was. Until Hephaistion decided to give up. Until he decided looking for me was pointless. Until he decided I wasn't worth having anymore. Then I could finally die and let go. _

_At least then I could enjoy the dreamless sleep._

**_\_**

**_India, the lost days_**

"Hephaistion has not yet returned. I'm starting to fear he never will." Perdicas quietly informed as he came through the tent where Leonnatus and Ptolemy were joined. The two sleepy generals were already feeling distressed, even more so now, with the recent news there friend had just brought.

Leonnatus sighed anxiously, his shoulders getting heavy, and he walked over to a chair to sit. This was yet another day and another night where they would stay flustered. And it was no oversight, finding themselves more restless than before. They were silent, the sound in the tent only being minor breathing as they kept to themselves. Not knowing what else to do other than worry and wonder. The only kind of productivity happening in the camp was the men and woman basking around, uneasy about what the future will bring, as they hoped for the best.

"Has the queen spoken?" Ptolemy asked Perdicas, knowing the general had been sent to her tent earlier that day for more questioning.

Perdicas looked reluctant to give more bad news. He shook his head thinking whether it was time to just accept the situation. "No. She didn't admit to anything."

"What good is moping around waiting an answer from the queen?" Ptolemy silently spoke but his frustration bled through. "She won't talk, despite the consequences if she's lying or not. We should be out looking, instead of sitting here accepting conclusion that they will somehow return to us."

"Waiting is more unmistakable. Cassander will not risk gathering a team to search for two men." Perdicas mentioned, knowing Cassander's intentions quite well. "It's not only reckless; it's unrealistic and would do us no good."

"Cassander needs to remember that's our king he thinks so little of. And even if Alexander is dead, he would have wanted us to get Hephaistion back and safe in good hands, even if half the men were in disagreement." Ptolemy argued blatantly.

"And what if Hephaistion is dead?" Perdicas asked, glancing up at the curled haired man.

"I'm not going to assume he is. I pray to the god's everyday that's not true." Ptolemy replied.

"The gods you want us to place our full trust in haven't shown us any mercy yet. The rains are only getting heavier everyday. The storm will follow Hephaistion and that might even be enough to swallow him whole." Perdicas calmly responded too tired to argue the topic to his fullest. "I want to pray to the gods for their well-being as much as you but I'm thinking rationally."

"There is nothing rational about making assumptions." Ptolemy remained persistent in his loyalty.

Leonnatus nodded in agreement. "I'm not going to give up on them either. Alexander would search for us and take revenge on those who threatened any of his men. And in his honor I would do the same. Nothing less Perdicas. I'm sorry."

Perdicas and Leonnatus were probably the closest in Alexander's union of generals. They were best friends and fairly loyal to each other, but not this time. Leonnatus had to disagree with his friend's logic. Leaving Hephaistion and Alexander behind wouldn't solve anything. In fact it would only upset the army more to not see their king return to them one last time. Too much was going on and the men were already falling apart. They needed to know where their king had gone. They needed someone to rule them.

Perdicas ran his hand down his face, with a discouraged moan in between his palm. "Cassander and the rest of the generals will never comply and I must say I'm with them. I love you two both equally, but I'm having difficulties distinguishing any reason to your thinking."

"I understand Cassander's motive in not risking more death. And even if he is doing this out of spite of our king, I do believe he is making decisions off what's best for the people and the men. They can no longer stay in India. It's an evil land and we would be wise to leave before it takes more of us, that I consent with you on, however I will reside here."

"What are you proposing Ptolemy?" Perdicas frowned at the curled haired general, bracing himself for something unanticipated.

Ptolemy sighed lightly. "We split the army. We'll send the travel guide to take these people home, through the safest route, while several of us stay behind and prolong the search for Alexander and Hephaistion."

Perdicas scoffed, shaking his head as Ptolemy spoke, not trusting Ptolemy's or even Leonnatus', what he thought were misinformed intentions. "The men believe that they are gone from us. They believe they are dead and no longer of this world. We all know that there is little hope left in them."

"Then those men can follow Cassander and whoever wishes to go home back to Babylon and leave the memory of their dead king behind." Ptolemy retorted, agitatedly. "But whoever wishes to stay stays. Whoever wishes to follow, follows. The same goes for those who want to go."

"We don't know how far ahead Alexander is. Nor Hephaistion. Those two could still be days, from each other. And if we begin this search, we're weeks apart!" Perdicas exclaimed. "Alexander went missing a day ahead, Ptolemy. Hephaistion is too far behind him to even begin to know where Alexander was taken. If Hephaistion isn't back by now he's dead, or out there dying. Hephaistion, no matter how strong his heart is, was a fool to have left in search for Alexander in the first place. I'd be surprised if he made it even through the fifth day. Where does that lead us? We have no direction, no way of knowing where they are. We would be running into the wild, in unknown territories. It would be charging into the depths of despair."

"Only if we divide up our defenses." Ptolemy began to explain. "Let us embark through the lands ready. I understand; Hephaistion has no chance of survival out there unaided. This is why we must go in search for him. If not for Alexander, we could do it for him."

"We shouldn't even have let him go astray by himself in the first place." Leonnatus added, with some of his own hidden guilt.

"Was their stopping him?" Perdicas countered.

"Not a single chance in Hades, but if we're as loyal as we claim we are, we should have been right behind him." Leonnatus stated. "Like you would have been for me Perdicas."

Perdicas turned from his friends, confounded by the immediate conclusion he would have to make in the next five seconds as Craterus came entering the tent, pushing away the flaps, breaking up their little chat. The three generals turned his way. Their eyes had lightened in eagerness hoping for some good news knowing Craterus had sent and led two small search parties. But again the weather was torturing their luck. The men were bound to return when the weather turned nastier and it looked like Craterus not only returned but was just about ready to give up. "This land is killing us slowly. We need to begin moving as soon as possible."

The three generals stayed put, looking at Craterus like they had other plans they weren't sure of yet.

The big general questioned the defiance he spotted in their cheerless faces. "What's going on?"

"I've decided I will stay behind and keep looking." Ptolemy responded quietly. "It's the right thing to do."

"And I'm following Ptolemy." Leonnatus also responded and Craterus couldn't believe what he had just heard. His brows knitted down, thinking what he heard was nonsense and looked last to Perdicas for a response hoping it wasn't as absurd sounding.

Perdicas just nodded, wordlessly expressing that he would be joining his friends in the mission to bring back Hephaistion and the King.

"What? That's madness men." Craterus appeared greatly shocked and angered. "Cassander finds that it is best to leave and this time I'm going to have to agree with him."

"Cassander, if I may remind you Craterus wasn't even meant to come on this mission with us. So why is he making any kind of demands? Alexander did not put him in charge!" Ptolemy growled hastily, the name Cassander being thrown around was just giving him more reasons to find the mean eyed general objectionable.

"You're right Ptolemy. Alexander did not put him in any such position to make any orders. But Cassander is right about departing from this land as soon as we are able. This is no disrespect to Alexander. I love him most but he's been missing for longer than we could count, not to mention he was on his death-bed before he even disappeared. And wasn't it all of us who settled to pull him out of his misery when we figured he would never awaken again? But suddenly he's gone from his bed and we feel obligated to go release him from any danger he might be in? As far as I'm concerned the man was already dead."

"Having a heart beat is dead to you? Loss of consciousness is not the same as being lifeless. As far as I'm concerned he was never dead. And he wouldn't be missing if we were doing our job right in the first place!" Leonnatus stood up, offense displaying quite vividly in his reaction as he yelled, directly to Craterus' face. The bigger man shoved him away telling him to back down but Leonnatus was no push over and just shoved him right back not finding himself intimidated by the bigger body towering four more extra feet over him. "To fucking Hades with you then! He thought of you as his greatest friend Craterus, and you're just going to turn on him?"

Ptolemy was thankful to have Leonnatus at his side on this. But he eventually had to calm him down before he and Craterus quarreled like Craterus and Hephaistion had done before, which didn't turn out any pleasant.

He placed a tender and reassuring hand on Leonnatus's shoulder giving him a clear signal that he would take care of the rest. "If Cassander wants to take you men home then go. We will not be attending the march back home." Ptolemy confronted Craterus.

"Ptolemy all I ask is that you be reasonable. You will be lost if you go. You will end up just like them." Craterus tried advising, with no intention to upset the general.

Ptolemy glared at Craterus. The other generals shifted where they were. "I'd be lost? No, you will be lost, because without the king you've men already proven you are nothing. You've proven your worthlessness. Do you think we will be able to manage the army, the people, the kingdoms, the politics, and keep everyone united? No. Alexander is the one who keeps us united. He's the one who builds our strength. He's the one who gives us the courage to fight. Not you, not Cassander. I'm not saying Alexander is lost without us. For all I know, Alexander woke up from his coma, killed his own guards and strolled off into the night somewhere. To Hades, he could have been sleepwalking. Or maybe he pissed off the wrong Indian tribe and is now being held captive somewhere thick in the lands of the devil himself. He isn't lost without us. We're lost without him. But I'd rather be lost knowing I did the right thing. Knowing that I did my very best to bring him back. If I leave him, my conscience will never let me rest again. You fear this land is so large and evil but look at the lands Alexander has already conquered. India is just that, another land. We fear it because we are unfamiliar with it. I find it sad that you men are so resentful and envious of his success. If that's the case than prove yourselves. Come with me to find the king, find Hephaistion, and bring them back. If you want to be remembered than do something memorable, even if it's not for Alexander. Do it for yourselves. Because once these times have gone by, and every tale told after we are long gone and dead, was that you were cowards, envious of a king you wanted dead."

_Ptolemy. _

_Well what can I say about Ptolemy? - I can say a lot._

_Ptolemy was the best man, the best friend, the best human being one could ever ask for. If you want a good person in your life, or anyone who would understand you, befriend Tolem or someone like him. Do it fast and keep him close. The only warning I will give on his behalf, don't make an enemy of him, because when it comes to friendship, no one is a better friend. No one can make you hold on to something so much, as well as he could. Throughout most of my troubling dark stages in life, it was Ptolemy who was honest with me. He was the one to put me in my place when I let my arrogance overshadow my psyche. It was him who would paste my miserable life and Phai's despondent days back together in one piece. He was the one who always tried as hard as he could, to make sure we found each other back in each others arms._

_He was everyone's 'go to' guy. He was the one who was always in defense of my dreams and protective over Phai's outlook for me. He protected us from each other, from other lovers, from friends, from family, from the world, from our feelings, from sin, from everything. _

_Tolem had no bias. If Phai fucked up he'd tell him. If I fucked up he'd tell me. If we were too stubborn to listen, he would let us fail and learn the hard way. He's always been like that. Treating each one of his friends as equals. _

_When I was lost and couldn't be found, Ptolemy understood that it wasn't me who needed to be sought. Hell for all I knew, I was dead, and didn't want to be found. Maybe I didn't want to be found dead, because that would mean somewhere down the road I had failed. Who knows? But if I was alive out there, somewhere dying, my only concern would be for Hephaistion's life._

_I wasn't expecting to be found. Ptolemy did know that I was depending on Hephaistion to be found. _

_I once said, "All good things to the king must be found." _

_So Ptolemy went out to find my Hephaistion. And he did. And for that I am grateful. _

"I know that these men and women can not wait to see their home and the last thing they need is to worry about their missing king who is no longer around to guide them, but all I ask is that we try."

Craterus was thinking it over. He and Ptolemy were staring challengingly eye to eye before the bigger general did eventually admit to himself that what Ptolemy had said was the truth. That they wanted to give up because it sounded easier. "Okay, Ptolemy we'll do this your way but the people need to be reassured elsewhere. Not here. I'll run it by the rest of the generals. But just know that splitting the army is going to cause a disturbance. Most of these people are willing to stay put in these dreadful lands just to see their king return."

"Well, I wish more of the generals had some of their same faith."

"Not everyone can be a dreamer like Alexander. I'm a realist Ptolemy."

"I'm a realist too Craterus and that hasn't got me far at all. Alexander isn't. And look how far he's gotten."

_I've probably taken us further than any realist ever could. How? Because I am a dreamer. I am a thinker. Because I don't back down when I see a charge of thousands of men coming right at me with bloody swords and gnashing teeth. Some would call me reckless. Most would call me a dumbass. I would call them cowards. A realist would think to run. A dreamer would take the risk and charge back, hoping an army of loyal men are behind him ready to protect and fight for him. Ready to claim the world as theirs. Ready to take the next leap in life. Because that dreamer, that idealist, you mock, trusts his gut and his head. But most of all he trusts his heart._

_Craterus was a realist. Craterus was a coward. He would look at the odds. If something didn't seem feasible to him, he like any other person who claims to be practical, would turn around and run, because they are more fond of giving up than trying. _

_Some of us think rationally and some of us think irrationally. It's the way of life. I think the way I do, because it's the only way I know how to think._

_So what's our reason for trusting reason? _

* * *

><p>After the kiss, Alex pulled slowly away from Phai and the two just stared into each others eyes, Alex lightly brushing soft fingers against the skin of Phai's arm. This was something they did often which used to feel awkward but now it was comfortable silence and natural passion.<p>

The blonde smiled, when Phai took a quick glance at the time on his phone. It was later than he thought. But the time meant nothing to either of them.

Phai looked back at Alex. Saying nothing, but somehow expressing deeply how much in love he was. Alex stayed where he was, taking the time to stare back into blue eyes, appreciating how intense Phai could be when doing and saying nothing at all.

The cherished moment was soon gone when they heard the front door open to the house, and reacting as two teens would, who were up to no good, the two of them removed themselves completely from each other. Phai started to put things away and Alex went back to leaning against the counter.

Thinking at first it was Phai's father, they were mildly relieved when it ended up being their friends instead, even though they decided to just show up unannounced.

Tolem entered the kitchen first with two full bags of something and a 'get well' balloon in his hand, and then the rest of the gang followed in, minus Cassy.

"Hey Alex buddy!' Tolem said dropping bags on the counter. "So we went to the store and got a bunch of stuff."

Alex quirked an eyebrow. Phai's frown was unmistakable.

"Who the hell let you guys in?" The brunette teen was wondering. He was expecting his father, not them. And even though he was glad it wasn't his father, he was still expecting him home any second now. He could only imagine how his father would react to random guests in his house but it looked like attempting to kick them out was useless. They were going nowhere.

Cleitus shrugged. "The door was unlocked, we saw Alex's car, we noticed your dads car wasn't in the driveway and we decided to invite ourselves in. Don't worry we'll be gone before your dad gets home."

"Well welcome aboard, assholes. I guess I just suddenly have the best dad in the world who won't kill me for letting people into his house without his permission." Phai said, running his hands absently through his hair.

"Lighten up Phai, you should have locked the doors then." Phil said.

"Besides Alex is sick and we come offering gifts. So be appreciative." Crater replied, searching through the refrigerator for something to eat, while Phai sent him his famous 'I hate you' glare. Everything about Phai, symbolized that he was already growing irritated.

He snatched one of the bags from the counter and began looking through it, wondering what the hell they spent their money on that would make Alex feel any better.

"Seriously guys you really didn't have to do this." Alex said, acting modestly. Most people would have been flattered by the attention given, but this wouldn't be the first time his friends interrupted good moments between him and Phai. Infact all the times they had interrupted them were all potentially great moments. Now they would never know.

"Too bad. The favor has been done." Cleitus said, his hands roaming around in one of the bags as he started unpacking.

"Thanks." Alex said smiling at his friends, appreciating the effort. But smiling even more when Phai went to go stand back next to him, brushing against him softly without making a thing obvious.

"We got you, Amica. I heard its great for bruises, scars, you name it. Let's see, oh yea, some pain reliever...stuff that will help you sleep better, what else, what else, oh yes.." Cleitus whipped out a big jar of Vaseline. "Also this works miracles."

Phai frowned and crossed his arms. "How's that?" His question was sarcastically spoken. Phai was good at sarcasm.

"I'm glad you asked, Phai. Let me explain." Cleitus cleared his throat. "It doesn't get rid of anything but it makes your skin where the swelling is feel so much better. One time I got so high I climbed to the top of my roof and fell off. I don't know how, I thought the stars were trying to tell me something you know. I didn't break anything but I had bruising everywhere, including my cock. I was lucky."

Phai didn't look amused. He left Alex's side real quick, to grab an ice pack from his freezer and went right back to being next to his favorite person in the world. He held it to Alex's bad eye and kept it there as Cleitus continued his story.

"Anyway long story short, I rubbed some Vaseline on their and it was like an angel was stroking me off. Then I went to the doctor the next day and they were amazed at how much the swelling went down. The end."

Phil clapped. "Good story bro."

"I have a cock story I'd like to share." Crater rose his hand.

Tolem, Perdicas, Leon and Phai all moaned at once unimpressed.

"About what, how your fathers condom failed when he gave it your mother?" Phai insulted with a huge grin on his face. Crater glared at Tolem and Leon snickering in the back. Perdicas was standing their stiff, shocked that came from Phai's mouth. Who knew he had it in him.

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon Phai?" Phil asked, just as equally shocked as Perdicas.

"You did, when you entered my house without asking. Or maybe it was from the genital warts you gave me last night."

Alex started to choke on his glass of water. He was surprised aswell. Tolem and Phai highfived each other.

"That is too much information for me." Leon said, shaking his head.

"All I'm saying is, if we wanted to hear stories about your cocks, we would have asked." Phai muttered.

"You would like that wouldn't you virgin?" Crater chuckled to himself.

"Uh no but I would like something else. Like shock me for once. Say something intelligent."

"If you were a chick I'd bang the shit out of you." Cleitus said throwing his arm around Phai's shoulder. Alex grew extremely tense. It didn't help that his muscles were extremely sore.

Phai shoved Cleitus' arm away from him. "That will never happen. But let me just go grab a condom for your cock, so you have protection, to at least fuck yourself."

"Feisty and down to earth, I like it." The blacked haired man nodded in approval, looking at Phai with a weird perverted look.

"You know what Cleitus, I've been wanting to ask you this, the very second I met you. What goes on in your head?" Phai was shocked to find himself half serious about the question. Again, their was just something about Cleitus. "Like seriously, I'm worried."

"How about I let you in on my secret later. In my bed." Cleitus winked at him. It was like impossible for him to be offended. If Cleitus were to make any goal for himself it would be to go through life taking everything negative as a compliment.

"Gross. No thank you. Sorry I asked."

"What else could you guys have possibly got? Theirs like five full bags there." Alex craftily and swiftly changed the topic before Cleitus was able to keep up his flirting. All this talk about male body parts and Cleitus wanting to sleep with Phai was making him mad. Alex had mentioned to Phai before that he does get jealous. How jealous he actually gets, was the part he left out.

"We got you a heating pad." Tolem pulled it out from the bag.

"A heating pad?" Alex blinked giving the tiniest, least enthused smile possible. "Really?"

"Yea really." The curled haired boy took offence.

"I feel like I'm being babied." Alex made a face, his reply revealing nothing of his true emotions.

"Alex don't think we're babying you. We're spoiling you." Cleitus clarified. "We got you fucking munchies and Gatorade."

"Where does your canned foods go?" Leon asked randomly. Phai and Alex both frowned when they saw an entire bag of chicken noodle soup.

"What's that for?" Alex asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion while pointing at the bag.

"You're sick dude. Duh." Leon shrugged.

"Yea but I'm not sick, sick. I just got into a fight, that's it."

"Not according to those who saw you puking all over the place. Not to mention it will help a crampy stomach."

"Whatever." The blonde leaned back against the counter, almost seeming a bit pouty.

Phai was holding in a smile seeing how adorable and uncomfortable Alex was turning while getting babied by his friends. Phai found him sweet, even though Alex wasn't meaning too be. Sweet and stubborn was the better word.

Alex looked up and sent Phai the cutest, apologetic smile, sorry that things weren't going as expected. Phai smiled back, and turned to face Tolem instead. Because if he kept focusing all of his attention on Alex he would give himself away to everyone in the house.

"We got you a pack of 7UP, Ibuprofen for the swelling, gauze incase you start bleeding and incase none of this works it's probably because you need to go to the hospital." Cleitus nodded. "Yep, and that's it."

Hospital? That suggestion totally wiped the smile off of Alex's face. "I'm fine. Really. And thanks for doing this but it's not necessary."

"Pff, yea right. You guys should see his stomach. Alex lift your shirt." Phai asked, in more of a demand.

Alex rolled his eyes and lifted his shirt and the response he received was sadly the response he was expecting.

"Damn!" They all said in unison finding it hard to look at.

"Cassy fucked you up!" Cleitus rubbed in.

"Thanks Cleitus." Alex said dropping his shirt back down as lightly as possible.

"Shouldn't you go to the hospital for that?" Perdicas looked really concerned. "Like now."

"That's what I said." Phai shrugged. "He's just gonna say no."

"Yea dude, I've never seen so many colors on one body in my life." Crater said, amazed that Alex wasn't sending them signals of any discomfort. They would have never guessed by how relaxed he was that something was wrong.

"And that's no rainbow." Leon finished. "It's like the devils version of a rainbow."

"And we all know that aint no rainbow either." Phil, was shaking his head, not realizing it was going to be that bad.

The blonde just rose a protesting eyebrow at them. "It's called bruising and swelling. It will heal." Alex explained before they all got out of hand with this hospital business.

"Yea but it's not going to heal on its own. If you have broken ribs you need to go to the hospital." Tolem suggested getting more worried about it and not understanding why Alex hadn't checked himself in already. And by the look on his face, Alex was prepared to be resistant.

"I'm not going to the hospital." Alex responded as blunt as possible.

"Alex, not going to the hospital is not even an option. With that much bruising something has to be cracked." Tolem wasn't going to back down either.

"I'm not going to spend my free time at a hospital Tolem."

"What free time Alex? It's not like you can do much anyway but lie down and rest, so you might as well rest at a hospital."

"He doesn't like hospitals." Phai mentioned. "Good luck convincing him."

"I don't like school but I still have to go." Their blacked haired friend replied.

"Coming from you Cleitus! The only one in this room who ditches school and gets held back eight grades. You're so full of shit." Alex said getting frustrated, causing his chest to tighten and ribs to compress. He managed not to display any kind of pain and tried harder not to show that it was bothering him. "I can fucking manage."

"It wasn't that much. Not to mention I can make up for my schooling; you can't make up for your health. Oh by the way I can tell you're in pain buddy, you're not fooling anyone."

Alex expressed to them all a full warning glare. "I am not going to a hospital. Do not make me repeat myself."

"I don't understand why you think that's an option. Eventually you're going to end up in the hospital because you refused to go to a hospital the first time around." Phil declared. The rest of the friends in the room nodded.

"You are all being absolutely ridiculous." Alex scoffed, straitening up, releasing his hands from his side, as gently and slowly as he could, trying to prove a point to his overly concerned friends. "See I'm fine."

"No you're not. And you should be sitting. Why aren't you sitting?" Tolem asked firmly. This was unbelievable to all of them, how dismissive he was of his own health.

"Don't mention that, trust me." Phai quickly jumped in. "He won't sit. I've already tried. I tried hard."

"Guys, listen to me, people manage all the time, with cracked and broken ribs. The only thing they can do is be careful and suffer through the pain until it heals."

"Alex." Phai strictly called his name, thinking that him saying something, was a easier way of convincing him to go. Because Alex had a habit of listening to him. He was trying not to worsen Alex's mood about hospitals, but if anyone in the room cared about Alex's health more than anything it was him. "The problem we're having is that we don't know how to identify broken ribs, but the fact that you're holding your sides for support and it's been difficult for you to walk, and lift your arms, and your breathing has become labored means that you probably have fractured something. I understand your dislike for hospitals but get yourself at least checked out, incase something is worse than we thought."

Alex groaned. The thought of being back inside a hospital was something that he didn't even want to deal with. Phai knew that. He knew Alex was tired of hospitals and that them trying to convince him to go to one wasn't helping him like them any better. The only time he wanted to see a hospital again was when his time to die came. "Nope." He remained stubborn. Phai sighed trying to keep himself calm before he decided to yell at Alex. "How can I assure you guys that I'm fine? You know what, I'm not dying. Because you're acting like I'm dying. And I just want to make it clear that I feel fine and I'm doing fine and I'm probably going to be better the next time I see you at school. So really I appreciate it, but it's not necessary unless of course I was actually dying than it would be necessary. You know?" Alex did that all in one breath and he was inclined to believe that if his lungs could talk, they would be cussing him out right now.

"Alex I hate to be the bearer of bad news but even before you got beat up, you looked beat up. Just take our advice because you only live once."

"Stop with that Yolo shit. And no!" That was Alex's final refusal.

Cleitus flew up his hands. "Okay I give up."

"When I feel something abnormally wrong I will go to the hospital."

"Just because you have an extremely high tolerance to pain doesn't mean you should just tolerate it." Phai stated, and Alex looked at him, noting the concern of his tone and the concern in his harsh blue eyes.

Phai knew why he was being stubborn about it, and if they were in Alex's shoes, they would understand why he was acting that way, and the only thing Phai wanted to do was promise Alex that this would be the last time he would ever have to set foot into a hospital again. Unfortunately that promise could break anytime. But he couldn't say what he actually wanted to say to Alex in front of everybody, and he couldn't do what he wanted to do to Alex in front of everybody, but he did get the point across to his blonde friend, as they now stared deeply at each other... that as long as he was around, he promises on his life, to take care of him and he didn't need a hospital to do it.

Amyntor pulled up to his driveway and saw cars out front of his house. He had that what the hell expression on his face before he turned off the car, forcing the question in his head, if he had invited people over and forgot, but he had no friends in California. They were all overseas. He opened his car door and helped Callista out. "I guess we should go see what your brother is up to."

"I already know what he's up too. He's up to no good. Are you gonna ground him?" She asked with a bright sweet smile on her face.

Amyntor chuckled, rubbing her head. "No Callista."

"You should ground him dad. Actually you should let me do the honors." Callista ran ahead of him and sprinted into the house! "Phai you're in sooooo much trouble! Dad says your grounded."

Amyntor sighed and went in right after her. He went straight to the kitchen, seeing his son and friends gathered at the counter. He lifted a brow, with a look now knowing what all the cars were about. Phai turned towards his dad who was just standing there with a look on his face waiting for an explanation. "Hi, Phai's dad!" The friends said in unison and Amyntor just waved a hand at them.

"Hello." He said. "So what's going on? Is there a party I don't know about?" he said placing his keys on the counter.

"No, they were just dropping by really quick to see Alex. They won't be here much longer." Phai smiled innocently.

Callista ran straight to Alex pushing her brother and Tolem out of the way. "Oh, my God! What happened to you? Can I touch your face?"

"Sure." The blonde chuckled. It was always a joy to see Callista.

She took a deep breath before pressing on the wound around his eye. "That's so cool!" She yelped. "I must say you're pretty hot all beat up like that. Can I use you for my Show and Tell?"

"Callista give him some space would you. What happened Alex?" Amyntor genuinely asked, Alex's face speaking volumes.

"A fight happened at school." Tolem answered.

"Are you alright?" Amyntor asked, with a look that said, why the hell are you not at a hospital. Also taking a mental note if he wanted someone that reckless and irresponsible, around his son.

"Yea I feel fine." Alex lied.

"He's lying. He could have a broken rib." Crater ratted him out.

"It's nothing."

"It looks like something to me. We should probably get you to a hospital, just to make sure nothing is actually broken. If you go like that without seeking the proper care you could puncture a lung and that wouldn't be good." Amyntor advised in his natural fatherly demeanor.

"Thanks Phai's dad, that's what we were trying to tell him all along!" Cleitus exclaimed.

Amyntor gave Cleitus the same look Phai gives him all the time. That 'who are you' and 'why are you talking' look. There was just something about Cleitus. They just couldn't lay a finger on it.

"He's scared of hospitals." Tolem also said. Alex rolled his eyes and sighed, not denying that fact but not admitting to it either.

"All they are going to do is take some X-rays, see that severity of the injury, tape your ribs if broken. These days in age, if you can stand and walk, you can easily go home. You seem to be doing both just fine, so my guess is the longest you'll be there is an hour or two depending how busy the doctor examining you is. If we leave here in about twenty minutes, we can be back by 8:30. Let me run upstairs and give my wife a call and I'll be down to take you. Does that sound good?" Amyntor explained, calmly.

"Yea." Alex wasn't going to take any chances getting on Phai's fathers bad side so he just had to suck it up.

Phai looked up at Alex in shock just realizing now that he never told Alex that he told his father about them. And Alex had no idea Amyntor knew that he was in love with his son and possibly sleeping with him. Phai looked over at his dad with a suspicious hint in his eyes, not sure if this was some trap. Like if he was going to take Alex to some alley way instead of the hospital and shoot him and leave him for dead. Or question him about personal stuff. Oh fuck.

Amyntor smiled at everyone. "Since everyone's made themselves already at home, you should just stay for dinner. It's already cooked you just got to heat it up. It's in the oven." he offered. "Callista and I ate already, so dinner is all yours."

"That sounds great." Cleitus said and Phai glared at him. "I mean that sounds lovely, Phai's dad... I mean Mr. Amyntor."

"It's just lasagna, sorry nothing fancy." he apologized to the boys.

"Still sounds good to me." Crater was already excited to eat.

"Great! Alex, I will be back down shortly."

Cleitus leaned over to Phai once Amyntor left the kitchen. "I can't tell if your dad actually wants us here or wants us gone. But we might stay anyway because lasagna sounds fucking awesome right now."

"I want you gone, so he probably does too." Phai shrugged then left the room and caught up with his dad in the living room area. "Hey dad, I should have called you and let you know they stopped by. I'm sorry. But if you want them to leave I can tell them to leave."

"I'm not worried about it. Company is better than no company. Besides I already invited them to stay for dinner." His father shrugged, not really finding his friends being over as big of a deal as Phai thought it would be but still it was kind of annoying how accommodating his father was. The truth was, his mother wasn't around, he and Callista were always at school or with friends, so it was understandable if his father was at times lonely and bored.

"I'll go kick them out for you." Phai turned to leave.

"Phai, I mean it. I'm fine with your friends being here." His father laughed at Phai's unusual behavior. "Are you urging me to kick your friends out or something?"

"Maybe." Phai had a look of guilt. Or maybe he was just nervous about him and Alex being in the same car together.

"I'm fine with it okay." His father kissed him on the head and headed upstairs. "I'll be right down."

Phai turned at the sound of the doorbell ringing. He sighed and approached the door, hoping it was a sales man. He swung the door open, and gave off the tiniest meanest snicker when he saw who it was. "I can get used to looking at you this way. It's a good look." A blacked eyed Cassy was truly a sight to behold, in Phai's case, he meant it in the meanest possible way.

"Thanks Phai for your enthusiasm. Can I come in? Or do you hate me still?" Cassy was just finishing up his smoke.

"I've never liked you but right now I have every right to hate you."

"I know. And I deserve it. Is that better?" The mean eyed boy apologized in his own self-centered way.

"No. You deserve that and some more." Phai leaned against the side of the door with his arms crossed. He didn't know it but his natural duty of being Alex's protector was showing strongly, the body guard and Chiliarch of the King coming out in him, finally. "I'm not a softy I hope you know. I will punch you in your mouth."

"I know. I still remember last time you hit me. Thanks by the way, fortunately the dentist said my teeth were fine."

"Why are you here?"

"What do you think?"

"You want my honest answer? I have no idea."

"I'm here to see Alex."

"Uhm no."

"Why?"

"I can't believe how you seriously are sometimes. What do you mean 'why'? Did you forget already?"

"Of course I didn't fucking forget!"

"Don't cuss at me."

"Sorry." Cassy relaxed.

"What has Alex done, that makes you hate him so much? Even for you, provoking Alex like that was not only low, but stupid. That's like jumping into a lions cage unarmed, wrapped in raw meat."

Cassy shifted, grunting a sigh expressing everything that he was finding too complicated to say. "I don't hate him, okay." he admitted.

"Then what are you feeling towards him? Because to everyone else, you hate him. It's clear that your hate for him is perpetual."

"Look, I know he and I have been friends for a long time and believe it or not I hate having these feelings towards him. I just say that I hate him, when in truth I just envy him. Not just because he has you. It's because he has everything, including you."

Phai didn't even consider taking the compliment. "You know when we first met; you were even just a little likeable. Sure your comments and insults have always had bad taste but for the many years I've known you, I enjoyed you much better then, than I do now."

"Yea, kids grow up Phai. And we change. I'm so sorry I don't hold well to your standards. I was still the same asshole."

"You are even a bigger asshole now. And guess what? I can say I grew up too, Cassy. How much have I changed?"

"You've changed, a lot. Did you know that you used to walk around, with your head down, your face in a book, shutting people out of your life? You were always irritated with things, with people. You always wanted to be alone, and the only time you had was time to yourself. You made it so hard for people to get to know you. We always thought you were so angry at the world. People were scared to talk to you. But now you've opened yourself up miraculously and you've allowed someone in. You've let Alex in your life and that's changed you. Without Alex in your life you were so impassive. I remember trying to make you laugh, to get you out of your shell and I remember him hardly doing anything at all to get your attention, but suddenly instead of you catching his attention, he caught yours. So sorry if I hated him for that. Sorry if I did something to offend you."

Phai came fully outside and shut the door. He shoved Cassy. Anger was their before Cassy even saw it coming.

"I'm sorry if I don't remember it that way. I remember you picking on me. Laughing at me. Making fun of me. Getting me into trouble when I did nothing wrong. If that was your way of making me laugh you're bad at it. I remember Alex being your friend and I remember shutting you both off because I assumed Alex was just like you, an asshole. And I'm not arrogant enough to just shut off people. People shut me out Cassy. Do you think I had friends in school? Do you think because of my good looks I would be popular? No complete fucking opposite. Because I wasn't interested in all the crap, kids were interested in, doesn't make me the bad guy. It made me a loser. I wasn't a loner because I chose to be, I was a loner because that's what everyone perceived as me. The bad guys were the asshole bullies, taking my books from me, the only thing that kept me sane throughout fucking school and throwing them away or pissing on it or leaving it in a toilet full of shit, or ruining the pages by running sink water over it. I was teased constantly in front of everyone, and I remember everything, kids pointing and laughing and whispering as more and more crowds gathered in the fucking hallway. Or girls giggling in their stupid fucking clicks, calling me names, like nerd, geek, loser, faggot. playing pranks on me and inviting me to tea parties because they thought I enjoyed that type of shit. I had boys twice my size, trying to fight me, wanting to fight me, pushing me, because they enjoyed telling me that I fought like a girl. And when I stood up for myself I would get beat up. Because I had long hair, because my looks are slightly feminine, I didn't fit in with the rest of the boys. They called me girl names every single fucking time I entered that school. They had a new name for me every time. That is the worst thing anyone could call me. I do not like being called a girl. I am a fucking man with a fucking dick. Don't you dare act like I made this hard for everyone else to get to know me. And don't you dare put yourself on a high pedestal Cassy. I was treated like shit all my life, every single minute of it until I was home and in my room where I could finally let my anger and sadness and stress leave me alone, before I had to gain all of it back again the next fucking day. There is nothing remote or sheltered about me. I will tell you why I hate arrogant dicks like you. It's because I've had disgusting, horny, sex crazed arrogant dicks like you touch me, and look at me like I'm an item, the worst feeling in the world by the way when you have no idea what's happening because you're so young and naïve at the time. Don't call me beautiful, don't call me any of it, because you're just mocking me. You're making fun of the way I look. Because all I see when you call me that is my middle school swimming coach trying to molest me and touch me, and lure me away with him with no fucking boundaries, trying to have me suck his dick in front of the rest of the athlete boys after school. Or boys making kissing sounds at me, or making fun of me because I chose not to shower in the locker rooms with them, thinking I was somehow less manly than them. And laughing about it because I would cry because it scared the shit out of me and I didn't know what to do. I used to think shit like that wasn't real, or possible until it fucking happened. I would like you if you didn't remind me of all those people. I would like you if you weren't such a heartless douche. You're cute Cassy, your charming, your smart, but there is so much more about you that is disgusting that I just can't get by. I'm not looking for an apology or pity, but you WILL apologize to Alex even if he doesn't want it, before you enter my house. Do you understand?"

Cassy faced him, with apologetic eyes. He rubbed the back of his head. He definitely wasn't expecting that and he didn't think Phai expected to tell him any of that. It was shocking and personal, but he didn't want to express that incase it would offend Phai even more. "That's why I'm here, to apologize to Alex."

"That better be the only reason." Phai stepped aside to let Cassy in.

"Hey look, I'm sorry. About what happened to you? I had no idea. I always just thought you weren't interested."

"It's fine. You don't have to be sorry. It's not your problem."

"Why haven't you told your parents?"

"That's something parents should never have to know." Phai answered softly almost like he regretted saying anything. He was almost coming off faintly withdrawn. Like those bad occurrences were running over and over again in his head and wouldn't stop.

"You're lucky you have parents who would give a shit. My parents would have thought I was making it up."

"I haven't said anything because I don't know how my parents would react. I didn't say anything at school because I'm tired of being laughed at. It's embarrassing you know. To know that other people will start looking at you differently."

Cassy now understood why Phai came off cold and defensive, because he wanted to keep those specific people away.

"Have you told Alex?" For some reason Cassy felt it was a question that needed to be asked. After all Alex was a major part in his life now.

The blue eyed boy shook his head. "I ask myself all the time why I haven't and my gut tells me he wouldn't be able to handle it. He would do either of two things. He would get angry find every person who did me wrong, and make them pay, or he would shut down completely and wonder what he did wrong. I want to avoid both of those as long as I'm with him."

Cassy came in close to Phai, trying his hardest not to make him feel uncomfortable and gently wrapped his arms around him. He wasn't the comforting type that's for sure, but Phai needed it even though he didn't want it and even though Phai didn't hug back Cassy didn't take it offensively. Phai was way to tense and needed to cool off and he understood that. There was no way he would be able to change his mood to happy in five minutes after recapping that entire trauma. He needed at least ten minutes or more to himself. "Stay out here until you're ready to come in okay?" Cassy whispered softly to him.

Phai just nodded his eyes surprisingly dark and perturbed and off elsewhere. "Maybe someday my opinion about you will change. I'm not looking forward to hating you forever. Just know that I want to like you. But I can never love you."

Cassy gave an understanding look, then walked inside the house while Phai just stayed outside remaining quiet in his own upset thoughts.

* * *

><p>The blue eyed general forced his stiff and heavy swollen lids to open. His head was pounding. He was trying to move, only able to making little movements. But the poison that was infused inside him kept his body paralyzed. The open wound on his leg was now getting infected as the blood running from it, was exposed to bugs, dirt and air. He knew if he was laying there any longer, in the same spot, in his own blood, without being able to support himself, or cover his wound, out in the wet land, his leg would need to be removed. But right now he would just gladly die where he was.<p>

He took his blue eyes and stared off into the sunset that was lowering itself behind the earth, shining elegantly and gently through the Indian bushes. And as that last light of the blaring sun passed, in a delusional mind, he could have sworn he saw a crown of blonde hair. He could have sworn he saw Alexander in his battle armor approaching him from the light. He could have sworn he saw the indifferent eyes of his king opening in a loving smile. He could have sworn he smelt the precious scent of his king affecting his senses. He could have sworn the mighty king, knelt down at his side reaching out for his pale hand and holding it as tight as he could. But the wish and hope of his dreams vanished as soon as the wind blew and the king was gone. The wind blew heavier and took the red piece of Alexander's shroud right from Hephaistion's hand and sent the cloth down an unreachable path. Tears multiplied upon the blue eyes strengthening the general's inner emotions but kept him at bay. He wanted to chase the cloth so bad. He wanted to scream out with all the voice he had, for someone to hear his cries. He wanted to get up and run after the only evidence of Alexander he had left. But he couldn't, as his leg held him back and the poison kept him astray and the pain that shot up his body was keeping him down.

The wind pulled and pushed the cloth further and further away from him and the only thing he could do was watch it disappear down the path leading towards the sunset. And the only thing he could hear was the warmth of his lover's voice ringing in his head and ears…

_My magnificent lovely Hephaistion. My love for you is too strong to let you go to waste. I will hold onto you forever. __And my forever…is longer than time.. _

**_\_**

__Most people would argue that their is nothing longer than time...So what's our reason for trusting reason?...Well, there is no reason for trusting reason. Because life and it's series of moments would be pointless if we trusted any kind of reason whatsoever.__

__I would have never been found, if Hephaistion believed in reason. He believed in faith. And that's why I am able to share this story with you today...__

__ And that's why my forever is longer than time. __

_There would be no adventure if we trusted life as it is. Adventures was something I grew up instantly ready for. It was something I prepared myself for since the beginning of my time here on earth. I was an explorer, an activist, a visionary. I loved to venture out in territory I had no idea about. Something about it made it exciting. Insightful. Mysterious. I didn't care what type of adventure, even if it was the tiniest of adventures, like journeying into the woods all by myself and hunting wild boar. Or taking Buchephalus for a long run, miles away from home leaving my parents worried sick. Or sneaking into Hephaistion's room and taking him out to the balcony to stare at the moon, wondering what was beyond the glowing yellow coin. _

_But I stared at the moon daily, with Hephaistion by my side, thinking that was the end to my journey only to realize much later, after I had achieved the world, after I was on my death bed, after I started over into a new world and met Phai all over again, that I finally I figured out the greatest journey was the one where I lost him and I had to get him back. _

_That's the adventure I longed for. I thought my journey started when I had him. This is what happens when an idealist tries to be a realist. Only to find out my journey hadn't even started yet. _

_E__verything that's happened so far played a part, from me growing up around snakes, the death of my father, my accession, my campaigns in the Balkans, the fall of Thebes, marching my men to Asia, the battle at the Granicus River, the battles I have fought and won, my men and I conquering Caria, Lycia, Pamphylia and Phrygia, Darius abandoning Babylon, Me falling ill in Cillicia, The battle of Issus, the Fall of Tyre, the siege of Gaza, marching my men to Egypt, The battle of Gaugamela, the surrendering of Babylon, the surrendering of Susa, the assassination of King Darius, campaign to Bactria, my wedding with Roxanne, the murder of Cleitus, the abandonment of my men, the Battle of the Hydaspes against Porus, me falling wounded and ill, me waking up in a new world, watching Phai sleep on his boat, talking to Phai at the zoo, my parents splitting up, having to leave Phai and move to Colorado, moving back to home, making love for the first time, breaking up with Roxanne, and all that's been done, till now, the present. And though these were major events in my life, my true journey started on prom night. _

_An journey that was a total disaster but a disaster I was lucky to live for. Because that's when we were shaped and defined. Defined as a couple, as lovers, as exes, as friends, as co workers, as friends with benefits, as soulmates. We defined ourselves as Hephaistion and Alexander. _

_But nowhere down the road did I ever stop loving him. Not many know this and even more refuse to acknowledge it but you can not stop loving someone you were meant to be with. _

_That's a fact, I'm sharing with you. _

* * *

><p><strong><em>Here is another long chapter for those who have been patiently waiting. It ended up being so long, I had to split it in two separate chapters, so the next one might be up on your time instead of my time ;) Like always, I apologize for any late updates, I'm trying my hardest to meet your needs and wants. The more impatient you are, the better I feel about my story and the trust I have in your dedication. Thanks as always my standby reviewers and readers! Enjoy! -Stranger<em>**


	28. Chapter 28

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Seven **

_**/**_

_Hephaistion could be cold sometimes but it's because his duty is to defend and protect me at all costs and my duty is to love and cherish him till the day I die. I had a non judgmental view of the world and Phai was always on the defensive. He did not see the world as equals and he did not see people as trustworthy. I had a strong desire to help people. Phai had a strong desire to help himself because he knew he would need to in the long run and he was right. No one has your back the way you have your own back. You can't trust anyone but yourself, was his way of thinking. And he thought me weak for putting trust in so many people and getting hurt along the way. I allowed people to take advantage of me. Phai wouldn't allow one person to even breath if they tried. Phai has little regrets. I regret most things. I do not have great reasoning skills. Phai is gifted with logic and understanding. Me, I just want to see what happens. I am extroverted. Phai plans carefully. He is introverted. I don't have an ounce of patience in me. Phai has all the patience in the world. I'm not a good communicator. Phai is. I allow my personal life to rule my work life. Phai allows his work life to rule his personal life. Phai hides his feelings from the real world because he's a private person with no intention of letting anyone in. My feelings is more unforgiving. We are complete opposites and that's why when Phai is attacked, I shut down. When I am attacked Phai stands up. He is my stronger half._

**/**

_**Love?**__ His king calls with tears in his eyes. Shaking in disgust and terror of himself. At what he just did? __**What did I just do? **__He drops the knife he had dragged from under his pillow._

_**Everything is going to be alright Alexander. **__ His lover holds him in a tight embrace. __**I promise. Just close your eyes. I'll be fine.**_

_**But you're crying. You're bleeding. I hurt you. **__The blonde man shivers madly._

_**Just because I'm crying it doesn't mean that I'm hurt. Just because I'm bleeding doesn't mean that I'm hurt either. It means that I'm worried about you. I need you to calm yourself. I need you to relax and I need you to realize that this was just an accident. **__He runs loving fingers through the king's mane, shushing him softly. _

_The king doesn't know if his heart and stomach could hurt any more than it was right now. He couldn't concentrate on anything other than what he had just done. He shakes his head. __**I'm sorry, I'm sorry Phai! I didn't mean too. **__He breaks down, sobbing heavily into his general's shoulder as his embrace turns firmer. _

_**I know that you're sorry Alexander. **__He placed many soothing kisses on the wild crown of hair._

_**Why do I have to be such a tyrant? I'm so sorry Phai. **__The king remains in tears._

_The general knows that he has to be the stronger of the two. He knows that his king had too much wine. And he knows that he needs sleep and comfort. So he pulls him closer to him. __**You are not a tyrant. You were having a nightmare. And sometimes nightmares can be tyrants within themselves but that doesn't make you one.**__ The general nods to the guards to remove the knife from the room. They do on his order. He orders Alexander's Eunuch to get the king some water. The boy hurries at the request. _

_**I almost killed you. **__The king continues to overwhelm himself._

_The general smiles sadly.__** But you didn't. **__He hugs him even tighter, hoping to calm him down. _

_**I'm sorry Phai. I'm sorry for all the destruction I have caused. **_

_**What destruction do you speak of Alexander? It's just a small cut on the cheek. I will get it looked at, but not until you calm down. And I promise you it will heal before you know it. **_

_**I've never hurt you in my life.**_

_**There's one time for everybody. Think of all the times I've accidentally hurt you. We used to laugh and sleep it off. It's a mistake Alex, we all make them.**_

_**It will leave a scar and that scar will only remind me why I feel guilty? **__The king's voice was cold now with sadness and despair. _

_**Guilty? **__The sympathetic blue eyes close as he lays into his king__**, **__getting him to relax just a touch.__** About what?**_

_The dissimilar intoxicating eyes of the king constrict__**. Sometimes I feel like I deliberately ruin us.**_

_**Ruin what? **_

_He felt the king clinging tighter to his warmer body. __**Your happiness. In my dreams, when I hurt someone, I hurt you. I hurt you all the time. Sometimes I just wait for the day you tell me that you want to be free from me. **_

_The general's lashes flicker and his eyes open at the comment. He pulls back and gently cups Alexander's wet cheeks.__** Why would you say that? **__He speaks tenderly.__** Why would I ever turn my back on you?**_

_Dark brown eyes look up into his lovers.__** Then I could rest easy knowing that your life is a better one. **_

_The general waits to respond. And in doing so, he can't help but feel sorry for him. His lips part to speak.__** I'm by your side and that's heaven. I'm not trapped Alexander. I'm not bound or chained. And what we share is not an imprisonment. I hope you are not suggesting that I don't love you? **__The general remains levelheaded with his king hoping it's the wine talking. _

_**I'm suggesting that you don't have to anymore. **_

_The general shut his eyes, transporting his mind to a better time. A time when the king thought of himself as a God instead of the devil. __**I'll tell you what I suggest, my golden-haired angel. You need time alone with your thoughts. You're not thinking straight because you're in a slight panic and you need to relax yourself so that it may pass.**__ His lover kisses him on the head. __**I pray you rest well my king. And loving you is not a choice. I'm here to stay. Goodnight my love. **_

_**The king calls out his lover as he watches him leave. He begs and begs for his lover to come back to him, his paranoia taking control of him. The general closes the door. And when the king realizes, once hours go by, that his lover wasn't coming back to him that night, he doesn't sleep. He remains haunted by his demons and haunted by his nightmares. **_

_**About to lose his mind, he takes his half empty chalice of wine, old but still strong and consumes it all, hoping to fade.**_

_**\**_

_Sometimes you have to wake someone up from their worst nightmares regardless of how often they return to us when we're sleeping. _

_Phai did that every night of my life. And that's how I pushed him away. Instead of tearing out all those empty pages, I allowed my manuscript of nightmares to define me. I allowed my demons to tell me that I didn't deserve him. I allowed myself to become terrified of who I was. I told myself that I was nothing. _

_And nothing I became. _

_It never ended. It didn't continue either. It just paused. _

_Forever. _

* * *

><p>Cassy walked quietly in through the door and closed it lightly. He could finally take a breath. Getting passed Phai was like walking through a minefield. The fact he even let him enter the house was a miracle. But what Phai had told him, was still bothering him. It was a lot to take in, so he could imagine how hard it was for Phai to let that all come out. He couldn't understand how Phai could let anyone take advantage of him like that all these years and not say a word to anyone about it. How could he move on from the humiliation and how could he be so naïve about Phai's feelings for so long. After everything he's done wrong in his life, he couldn't figure out anything to top this. He at least hugged him and that was a start but he was feeling pretty certain that there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. There was nothing more left to do. It had already been done and Phai was forever damaged and he felt even shittier about himself the more he thought about what a dick he's been. But he was glad it was him Phai unleashed his anger on. No one deserved it more.<p>

But Cassy didn't know how long he could keep it from Alex. It just felt like something Alex should know. But Phai was right about how Alex would respond. He'd either go ape shit or beat himself deeper into the ground.

The mean eyed teen gave himself a few more minutes before he walked over to the main room, seeing all his friends playing video games and sitting around the TV, waiting for the food to preheat in the oven. He noticed Alex wasn't with them. He could sense his own mood change and it felt awkward to feel the way he was feeling. Nervous. It was something he rarely felt around anyone.

Tolem, pressing the buttons to the controller down way too hard just because he thought it a more affective way to beat Callista during their round three of Street Fighter, turned and looked at Cassy standing by the door with his hands stern in his jacket pocket. Cassy didn't saying anything but instead found himself fiddling with his cigarette pack. "Oh hey man, what's up?" Tolem greeted casually.

Cassy just smiled briefly. "Hey."

All his friends nodded towards him and waved, but were so focused on screaming at the screen of the game and cheering the winner on, that it was unclear whether they were mad at him or not. For the most part they didn't seem to loathe him, just occupied with something else. They didn't even seem surprised that he was there, like he was expected or something. Or maybe they just had enough trust in him to realize what needed to be done on his part.

"Is uh, Alex around?" The green-eyed boy cleared his throat, it becoming unsettling, not knowing what everyone thought of him now that he and Alex were kind of on the opposite side of things as he took in mind the loyalty they had for the blonde. He might be at times heartless but he still cared what his friends thought. And he did care what Alex thought.

"Yea he's in the kitchen. He wanted his weird alone Alex time. You know how he gets." Phil answered.

"He's getting ready to leave though. You might want to catch him before he heads out." Tolem suggested.

"K." Cassy said quietly running his hand impulsively through his slick hair.

"You could stay and eat with us if you want." Tolem offered, always being the welcoming one despite his and Cassy's hate relationship. "Phai's dad says its okay."

"Yea. We're having some bomb ass lasagna." Crater mentioned.

"Right." Cassy didn't seem interested.

"You look like shit bro!" Cleitus announced. Cassy just shrugged as Cleitus snatched the controller away from Callista.

"Heyy! You jerk." She folded her arms.

"You look like your brother when you pout." The blacked haired man teased, shoving her playfully.

"Speaking of my brother." Callista turned her entire body, facing Cassy from the couch and glared daggers at him, giving her best 'I'm watching you' look.

"What do you want Callista?" Cassy irate asked, not believing he was getting reprimanded by a little girl.

"Where is he?" She lifted a curious brow.

"Who?" He sighed as he crossed his arms, glaring back at her.

"My brother dummy. And you better be nice to me. You're on my dad's territory now jerk face."

Cassy glared at the friends laughing in the background and then proceeded to give her a fake evil smile. "He's out front taking a phone call."

"Are you sure you didn't beat him up and leave him bleeding dead on the front porch?"

"She has a point Cassy." Cleitus declared. "We should make sure he's alive.

"Fuck you guys." Cassy just gave him the finger and left the room roaming around towards the kitchen.

"Watch your language around the little girl!"

He heard Cleitus shout and he just rolled his eyes and found the guy he was looking for. He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the wall. The blonde looked out of it, like he wasn't there. Like his thoughts were carrying him away.

"Hey." It was a quiet greeting. Now that he was in the same room with Alex, there was nothing he could do but face his eternal friend and enemy.

Alex looked at him for a minute. "Hey."

"Shouldn't you be sitting or something?"

Alex just shook his head. With little to no emotion.

Cassy sighed. For some reason Alex just enjoyed torturing himself and if he had to take a big guess, the blonde had no idea why. But as long as he's known Alex, feeling hopeless wasn't his strong suit.

He now cleared his throat, his jade eyes lingering in suppleness. "How's the face?" It was a decent way to start a conversation right after having forgotten the right words to say.

"Not bad. Could be worse." Alex answered, surprising Cassy with his little to no anger.

"Are you on drugs? You know, pain meds. Not that shit Cleitus snorts."

The blonde shook his head. And looked up at Cassy. "Are you?" But it was Alex who met the green eyes apologetically.

"Yea." Cassy pulled his eyes away, not ready yet to be forgiven knowing full well he didn't deserve it. He took out a bottle of pain medicine from his pocket and tossed it to Alex. "There's only a few left. You can have em."

"Thanks." Alex said scanning quickly at the labels on the bottle. Then he placed the bottle on the counter and smiled at his green-eyed friend. Or whatever they were to each other. "You know I had every right to hit you. Let's just get that cleared and out-of-the-way. And let's be honest. You're a bitch."

"I know." Cassy nodded. "If you want to yell or lash out at me, go right on ahead. I deserve it."

"There is no reason I should. Just don't push it more, because next time something like this happens I may not be the one in control. And I will let him fuck you up."

"Who?" Cassy studied Alex's eyes for a moment. They read dark at first but lightened the minute the blonde regained his composure.

"The side of me who can't stand you." He answered without difficulty.

Cassy snickered, too much overwhelmed in pain to protest. "Fair enough." Then he moved into the kitchen some more, his steps silent against the hard floor, relieved that Alex's grudge wasn't going to last like he thought it would.

Out of nowhere the disheveled blonde started to cough. He doubled over, clutching his stomach as his insides felt like they were collapsing on him.

As Cassy let the blonde have at his coughing attack waiting until it was over he thought back and realized that Alex has always had that cough. Now it just sounded worse. "Shouldn't you get that cough checked out? It doesn't sound too good."

"I have already. It's common." Alex said, then muttered an apology. Cassy gave him a look of skepticism but didn't push the situation any further. He knew better not to offer help or sympathy, knowing Alex's persistence to just about anything good for him.

After playing it off like it was just a regular cough, the blonde cleared his throat and turned on the sink to quickly wash his hands, having found spots of blood in his palm.

"You look like shit by the way." Cassy stated in a monotone voice.

"I'll accept that as an apology." Alex said wiping his mouth after rinsing it with water and going back to leaning against the edge of the counter.

"I didn't apologize yet." Cassy rested against the counter opposite from the one Alex was by. He hissed a bit from the pain he felt shoot up his back. And as they looked at each other it was like looking in the mirror. And needless to say their pride was still roaming hard, taking over the room.

"I know you Cassy and you suck at apologies, so don't even bother." The blonde answered bitterly like any kind of apology from him would be rather insulting.

"You're not even going to let me try?"

"No. I accept your half-assed failed apology. If it makes you feel any better about today, I made the first move, I acted out of anger and I shouldn't have. I should be sorry."

Cassy shook his head his eyes inadvertently meeting the floor. "Phai will kill me, if he finds out you just apologized to me instead."

Alex nodded with an uncaring grin. "I know."

Cassy took an anxious breath. "So…"

"So what?"

"You're not going to yell at me? You're not going to hit me? Nothing?"

The blonde just shrugged. "Maybe later."

At first the tension was high, but now it was dying by the minute. They were gradually making progress.

"Lame." Cassy scoffed and stuck his hands in his pockets letting off a deep sigh. And Alex stared his way, waiting as the mean eyed boy tried to find something to say. And it wasn't a surprise what came next from his mouth. Instinctively, Cassy was an asshole. "So I won right?"

The blonde chuckled good-humouredly, figuring that as usual. "You did. I just tolerated it."

Then the two grew silent once more, Cassy kind of in hesitation before speaking again, and Alex trying to adjust and figure out how things were once between them.

_So who won?_

_When it comes to fighting Cassy is as stealthy as they come. But that fight was tame compared to our fights in ancient times. I had my reasons for my advantage over him that day. I already knew everything about Cassy. I knew him as Cassander, one of my generals in my army. We fought all the time, sometimes about little things, sometimes about big things and other times, about nothing. Most times, we would fight over Hephaistion. So fighting him wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I knew what to expect. Maybe on a typical day, he would have probably kicked my ass. But note, I rarely have typical days. _

_Cassy is better than me at a lot of things and fighting isn't one of them. _

_I can say proudly, I am not strong in all fights. I don't win all fights. I don't care to. But when it comes to fighting for the love of my life, it is impossible for me to back down. Because suddenly nothing else matters but him and that's worth all the inspiration, all the anger all the determination it comes with. When I have something to fight for, I fight my hardest. Then I become better in every way. _

_This goes for the greatest. _

_So back to the topic on who won that fight. _

_I won..._

_for Phai. _

_But I lost._

_for me._

Cassy found himself again at a loss for words, this time his nerves not being the issue. He was thinking what sane person would allow someone to do something like that. He looked right up at Alex, figuring Alex wasn't as sane as he lets off. And he broke the silence with a question of his own. "Why would anyone in their right mind let someone beat the crap out of them? I don't get you Alex, I could have killed you, and you know that right?"

Alex just smiled to himself. "I haven't been in my right mind for a long time Cassy. And I sure as hell don't know why I do the things I do. In a way maybe I felt like I deserved it. Maybe I was trying to prove something. I don't know. I might have the answer for you later. In like a month or two."

"You're a crazy fuck you know that?" Cassy responded but it was surprisingly compassionate. "You've always been."

"I guess it doesn't hurt to be reminded."

There was yet another long pause. Cassy was looking off and Alex was staring ahead. After a period of not saying a damn thing, Alex spoke at random.

"You want to see something cool?"

Then he lifted his shirt to show Cassy what damage he did to him. "Wicked colors right? Cleitus took a picture and posted it on Instagram and Facebook."

Cassy grinned. "You have an Instagram?"

"Cleitus made it for me today. So I guess I do now."

Then the blonde let the shirt roll back down his body.

Cassy lifted his shirt and showed Alex the damage he gave him in return. "They told me I was lucky. That's when I figured you were holding back. I do have to get a few more stitches. Also my spine and tailbone could have permanent damage to it."

He had his fresh air, and the time to calm down. He walked back into the house. He came by the kitchen where Alex and Cassy were chatting and he stopped by the entrance. Just staring at them not giving a shit about why Cassy had his shirt rolled above his chest and why Alex was looking but more responsive to why they were getting along. It was typical of Alex too forgive like that.

They both stopped and looked over at Phai, noticing him now there. Cassy put his shirt down. Phai was giving them a testy look and Cassy knew the reason for that. Phai still didn't trust him around Alex.

Alex smiled at Phai and Cassy knew better not too. Then Phai grew instantly self-conscious for a reason unknown to Alex and just turned and left to go sit with the others letting Alex and Cassy finish their private conversation. Cassy knew the reason for that too while Alex was stumped over it. Phai had just let out all his insecurities and personal information to the guy he compared to hating more than Roxanne. At the time Cassy needed to hear it, so that he could come to an understanding but now Phai felt stripped and vulnerable. Leaving information like that with a man he couldn't trust was terrifying. He also knew the one and only person he should have shared that with was Alex. But it was just something that wouldn't go right.

_In a way he felt he betrayed me. But he was right to keep it from me as long as he had. And I am thankful… so very thankful, that he did not tell me when we were together. _

"So where are you heading? Tolem said you're going somewhere." Cassy thought it best to protect Alex from himself just this once by distracting him away from Phai.

"Yea," Alex seemed to snap out of what was bothering him about Phai. He rubbed his neck self-consciously because when Phai was self-conscious Alex was self-conscious and he couldn't help but wonder if he did something. He was so out of it he didn't even consider it could have been Cassy as the cause. "Phai's father is taking me to the hospital. Every one's making it into such a big deal."

"I'm glad you're alright." Cassy quietly spoke, like it was hard for him to say, as he scratched nervously the back of his head while delaying any eye contact with Alex. He meant it but he was starting to feel a bit too sensitive.

Alex looked up to face him, with a genuine look in his eyes. But other than that he didn't say anything else. They didn't have to say anything else. Amyntor came downstairs. "Ready Alex?"

Yea." The blonde replied even though his body looked reluctant.

And Amyntor looked at Cassy, not knowing if he trusted him in the house. Because it became clearly obvious who Alex got into the confrontation with. But he greeted Cassy anyway with a speedy 'hi'. He then grabbed his keys from the counter top, gave Cassy one last notion with his eyes and then headed out with the blonde right behind.

Phai if you decide to leave, make sure you lock the house please." His dad said before closing the front door and Phai watched as they left. He caught himself biting his nails but continued anyway because it gave him security to his anxiousness. He didn't know why, he just knew how his dad could be. He also knew how Alex could be and the most important thing at the moment was for them to get along.

/

_Aristotle approaches the soaking wet prince who sits against a rock outside at the learning ground. Thunderous thunder sounds and striking lighting inflames the skies. _**_Prince is something on your mind? Heh, well there must be since you seem to be acting recklessly in reckless weather. Come inside and join the rest of the boys. Your father would be upset if he knew the cause of your sickness was because you decided to sit out in the cold rain all day and night. _**

**_My father would be wise to let me be, just for once. It doesn't matter if the storm ends or continues. My thoughts are much more efficient out here._**

**_What is the matter Alexander? You can talk to me. I would be surprised if I didn't have an answer to your dilemma. _**_The old man chuckles. The boy narrows his eyes towards his cold shadow. _

**_I'm here and I don't know why. _**_He answers with anger like he had already reached the prime of his life. __**Every single day I'm living, but never have I remained so relentless.**_

**_You are impatient to grow. You are impatient to succeed. But there are two sides to success my boy. You have the physical and the psychological. The physical side is made up of the considerable results you achieve. The psychological side consists of the thoughts and feelings you have, but there is no purpose in pursuing any form of physical success if you don't allow yourself the psychological independence and free will to emotionally contribute in your achievements. _**_Aristotle explains moving closer to the boy._

**_My father sees me as nothing. There is no such thing as a successful Alexander as long as he is around. _**

**_Are you envious of your father? _**_The instructor asks._

_Empty eyes peer up at his master._**_ He has everything. I should be._**

**_Says who? According to what? _**_The old mans lips curve._

**_I just saw the one thing that I ever wanted but I know I can't get it now. I'm just ordinary. I don't have any power as his son. The adults still mock me, they still call me illegitimate, my friends still let me win at wrestling. My father dislikes me and my only supporter is my mother. I'm of no use to him. He doesn't deem me worthy. _**

**_There is nothing ordinary about you. No offence is intended Alexander. You are far from ordinary. You are much more. You have a spirit that tells me you will achieve great things, but you can't always wait for someone to put you together. Have you ever tried to exercise your own options?_**

**I have tried. And I've failed them already.**

**_I must say I expected more from you young Alexander. What happened to the passionate boy at our earlier lesson today? That Alexander wasn't moping around. You once taught me a lesson, do you remember what about?_**

**_If I did I don't remember. _**

**_Well let's seek the past for a few seconds. You disagreed with one of the boys in the class. You told him, that 'changes don't happen because you feel frustrated with the results you're getting and being dissatisfied simply doesn't affect anything until you channel your expressive energy along fruitful and productive lines.' Don't you remember that?_**

**_That was in the past when I dreamed big. _**_The boy shrugged_**_. When I thought I could do anything with my life._**

**_So you allow emotion to control rational thinking? Shame on you. _****_The instructor shakes his head. _**

**_My dad does too. _**_Alex sat up with his knees brought to his chest as he angrily thought of the reasons why he hated his father. _

**_But you can be better than him. You are an innovator and a leader and your spiritual self demands loyalty and commitment of your affections and of your energies in advancing your craft. There is something within you that compels yourself to evolve for the sake of evolving with the regard for personal gain or public acclaim. You can not seek just fame Alexander._**

**_What about glory? _**_He asks with interest._

**_It goes hand in hand, it just matters how you can control yourself when you start to seek and fall under the bad pleasures that life offers. If this part of you is ignored; when all efforts have shifted towards the practicality of pleasing the crowd, making gold, or becoming a god, the resourceful spark dies and a sense of emptiness begins to settle. You will start to embrace who you are, you will start to embrace change because you are human and that's what we do in order to move on. Human beings in general are a continuing changing entity. We are a unit of individuality. We evolve and you will evolve, and so will my understanding of who you really are young king. I can only give you so much advice of what you want to hear, but do not just follow your dreams. Follow the path of your heart wherever it takes you, even if it leads you away from your past principles and beyond your former hopes. _**

**_The commitments and obligations I've been following and accepting my entire life is evidence of enslavement. _**

**_How so?_**

**_I only wish to express the freedom I seek. I do not want to be a slave to my father like my mother is. _**

**_Alexander, every single decision you make, including the ones you think you have to make, is a demonstration of the power you have over your own life experiences. It's the power you have over yourself. Alexander you will make bad decisions and you will only make more as life continues but that is who makes you who you are so do not regret anything. You will feel the pain of these decisions but you do it to yourself for a reason. You do it to question how strong you actually are and how willing you are to fight for the things you love, so you put yourself through impossible challenges, only impossible in your mind, just to beat the impossible. But in your heart you can achieve anything. We all speak in the language of necessity as if we "have" to do this or have 'no choice' to do that. But one who hates the idea of himself may indeed feel like work is something he has to do in order to be liked or noticed, or even loved. After all, that person detests himself so much, why else would he work to be loved by all, why else would he strive to be noticed unless he really didn't have a choice? Unless he really didn't care? Unless he really didn't think so little of himself?_**

**_I don't hate myself. I'm upset with myself._**

**_Would it have to do something with the new boy by any chance, hmm? I see the way you look at young Hephaistion. You seek something in him._**

**_He doesn't like me._**

**_So you seek his friendship?_**

**_Yes. I think._**

**_And what makes you so sure he's not fond of you? You have all good qualities. _**

**_He ignored me today. He spoke with all the others boys but me, even Cassander. I had to approach him, me, the prince. I should be doing no such thing. He hates me and he doesn't even know me. He probably thinks I'm some sort of royal led brat. _**

_His tutor sighed_**_. Here's the problem with that kind of thinking. It makes the assumption that because certain options are incompatible with what we want, or what we think that we are not really free to act on or avoid our true feelings. You say he doesn't like you but do you really know that for sure? Your logic is unsound my boy._**

**_Unsound? It was clear that he thought I was an idiot. _**

**_An idiot? Yes, your logic is unreasonable._**

**_How? _**

_The old man chuckled._**_ I have few examples to give. You think that suffering and pain are things you can avoid as long as it is in your power to do so._**

**_I do believe that. That's not unreasonable. _**

**_Exactly my point. So why not put that same thinking to this newcomer. You can fight for what you want and fail in doing so but you can not ignore or avoid what you need. It's impossible. You may choose to inflict pain and suffering upon yourself but that is not always an option. There are plenty others to chose from._**

**This isn't even my study time and you're lecturing me.**

**_Trust me in the future you're going to be glad I stopped by. You've chose to be a survivor even it means having to endure some sorrow and discomfort. That's a brave thing Alexander, most would try at every cost to avoid pain and sorrow but you have decided impressively I must say, that laying down and dying voluntarily is not an option, that you have to live life to its fullest for their to be any meaning at all. You don't make tough decisions because you "want" to. You make them because you have to. Because there are only the consequences of doing the alternative and it becomes inconsistent with what you've decided your life is already all about. The only force that's making you do what you do every day is the passion and conviction you have about gaining the benefits you want to experience and avoiding the consequences you don't want to experience. Do you see what I am saying to you? _**

**_No, not even close._**

**_Alexander, you want to gain, without their being any interference, you strive for perfection of all things but when something collides with you or comes in your way, you fight and fight until you give up. But you can not give up in this world Alexander. Your father won't allow it. Your mother won't allow it. I won't allow it and neither will your friends. But most importantly neither will you. You have your doubts because you are threatened of your position but I see great things heading your way and I see bad things, but in the end I see a young man reaching the ends of the earths not for himself but for someone else. Someone truly dear to him. Think about that the next time you fall into temptation of a weak mind. Think about that the next time you have doubts about whether someone likes you or not. We are all victims of some form of suffering. However the biggest difference between the victims who make it and the victims who never find freedom is that the victims who make it are the ones who find a way to remember that they have the power of choice, the power of will and the power of love. It's impossible to make healthy choices when you don't believe you have choices at all my boy. So make a choice, whether it's tough or not. Ask yourself when you make your next difficult decision, if it's proof that you're a slave or you're a survivor. You don't have to be miserable if you fail, but if you're going to succeed, then you might as well embrace it. So stop defining yourself and express yourself instead. And if your worried about how the world debates over you after you're long gone and even though the perception they have of you is wrong, just look at it this way, they were the ones who sat around contemplating while you were the one to jump onto your horse and conquer. _**

**_Aristotle knelt by the boys side. He places an old hand on the younger shoulder. _****_You have talent; do not let it go to waste. You are a bright young man; do not let it go to waste. You can be the best, beyond the greatest if you do something about it, so don't let your determination and passion go to waste. You can be friends with Hephaistion if you want. So I repeat, do not let him go to waste. Or your dreams will be lost and cold forever. _**

\

After they had eaten they all decided to clean the kitchen. Or try. Amyntor and Alex had already been gone for two hours and Phai couldn't help but imagine something going wrong.

Cleitus was washing the dishes with Phai right next to him who was trying his best to show him how it's supposed to be done. From the looks of it, Cleitus never washed a dish in his life. "Cleitus, listen to me, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to wash everything off the plate. Everything!"

"Uh no, because that's what the dishwasher is for. The dishwasher washes everything of the plate. They made technology so much easier for reasons exactly like this."

"Uh no, that's gross and unhealthy. If you're not going to wash the dishes completely of all the grime and all the residue and do it accurately, then I don't want you cleaning the dishes."

"Man you're picky."

"I'm not being picky, I'm being reasonable."

"Reasonable my ass. You're being a Nazi."

"I just prefer not to get sick from eating off a dirty plate the next time I eat a meal. Is that so wrong?"

"Fine I will wash them as you wish your highness." Cleitus mocked.

"Thank you." Phai snapped.

"Yo, Phai where's the dessert at?"

"Really Crater. Dinner wasn't enough?"

"Pff, bitch please. I'm always hungry."

"Well there is a taco bell five miles from here. And a dairy queen too. The walk might help you burn off the calories you're about to gain."

"I heard someone say dessert!" Callista busted into the kitchen. "Where?"

"Didn't you already get your fix of ice cream today." Phai said taking the ice cream from the refrigerator.

"Nope."

"Well you can only have one scoop."

"That's stupid. I want an entire bowl." She argued.

"I said a scoop." Phai argued back.

"I'm telling dad when he gets here." She left.

"Phai dude, where are your Tupperware's at. And foil. I'm about to take some of this food home with me." Crater decided to stock up.

"You're not taking my parents Tupperware's home with you!" He replied.

"Geez, okay. Where do you keep your Ziploc's then?"

Phai just sat down and rested his head on the table while his friends continued to be annoying.

* * *

><p>After his medical evaluation, Amyntor left the hospital and drove Alex back to the house arriving at a semi decent time.<p>

"It looks like your friends are still here." Amyntor pointed out.

"It means that they're comfortable."

Amyntor chuckled. "Are they always this bold?"

"Yea. Pretty much."

Amyntor helped Alex inside.

Perdicas was stacking the dishes and Leon was wiping off the tables and counters while Phil was sitting down doing nothing. It was okay with them because Phil sucked at cleaning. Cassy and Callista were in the other room playing a racing game.

"Hey guys its looking nice. Not bad. Not bad at all." Alex said entering into the kitchen being completely and utterly sarcastic about it.

They didn't mind the insult, they were just glad to see him back and hopefully with good news. "How's your ribs buddy! What did the doctors say?" Cleitus gave him a welcome back slap on the shoulder.

"A waste of time."

Amyntor interrupted giving him a reprimanding stare. "It was good that we went. He has a few cracked ribs along his right side. They did prescribe him a painkiller but other than that he just has to take it easy. Obviously he has to refrain from sports and any activities that involve being active. I know you boys have your football practices everyday but unfortunately Alex won't be able to join you for any of the meets until his ribs are fully healed. The doctors also noted that he also needs to get a lot of rest so if you're planning on going out tonight please make sure you boys take care of him, and make sure he doesn't push his limit and definitely get him home at a reasonable time so that he can get some sleep okay?"

Phai looked up at Alex.

Alex's friends were relieved to discover nothing had been severe but they weren't as relieved as Alex himself, and even though he did crack two ribs it was not bad enough for medical treatment. He would just have to take his pain meds, and walk it off until his body decided to heal itself. The doctors overlooked some of his other health problems and he was happy for that. Or else he would have definitely been having an overnight slumber party at the hospital.

"Well we're glad you're okay."

"Thanks."

"But it couldn't have been any worse than what we're going through. Phai decided he wanted to be Hitler today." Cleitus informed.

Phai groaned. "No. You guys just don't know what clean means. They're stacking the dishes into the dishwasher without wiping it down first."

Alex smirked. "Come on Phai we all know we don't wash the dishes, we let the dishwater do that."

"That is disgusting. Who does that?"

They all raised their hands. Like true men.

_That night, I believe was the only night we all, truly had a great time together. Phai was observing how his dad interacted with his friends, incase they embarrassed him, made him look bad or said something offensive but even though they were cussing and belligerently loud, Amyntor didn't seem to mind. We laughed and chatted that night like all friends should everyday. Even Crater and Phai were getting along. They were joking and calling insults but they were laughing. We talked about old times and new times. And prom. And who our dates were going to be. Amyntor also took this opportunity to get to know his sons friends a lot better.__Even though he remembered Phai's initial attitude towards them, they all came as close as a family that night. Crater and Phil were like the two annoying younger brothers who always picked on the other siblings. Cleitus was like the disappointing son who was never home because he was out getting into trouble. Perdicas was like the brother who kept to himself. Leon was the fun and adventurous brother. Tolem was the older and successful brother. Cassy was the independent brother. And Phai was starting to feel like a guest in his own home. And me...well I felt alive for once. Alive for more reasons than just enjoying a good time with my friends. _

Phai looked at Alex and smiled. He had always kind of been nervous having his dad around his friends, knowing how picky he was about certain people. Amyntor was traditional. But at the end of the night Amyntor found himself enjoying the random but pleasant company. Then the friends thanked him for letting them stay for dinner and started to head out.

"How about you guys go out. I will take care of the rest of kitchen."

"It's okay I can do it." Phai replied.

"Callista can help me." Amyntor told his son because he was aware of his sons plans tonight.

"Oh man." She whined folding her arms. "Why do I have to clean after these slobs? It's my bedtime anyway."

"Ignore your sister Phai. Seriously go out, hang with your friends and have fun." He repeated.

"I will clean it before I go." Phai insisted and smiled wide at his father.

"Phai. Trust me, I do not mind."

Phai stopped and sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm positive." His father smiled. "And incase you're wondering I was not uncomfortable today. I enjoyed having your friends over. They are fun and nice guys. It beats a quiet, lonely dinner any day so stop worrying about what I think all the time. They were great. Now go."

"Thanks." But before Phai turned to leave the house, he remembered something. He walked back towards the kitchen. "Hey dad, before I go, you wanted to tell me something earlier. I got your voicemail. It kinda sounded serious."

Amyntor did not forget about his conversation with Alex's father, and he turned off the kitchen sink. He remembered how the talk didn't go well. He just looked at his son with nothing to say. There was nothing he could say to him. His original plan was to be angry, to set ground rules, to be strict but now looking at his son was almost like looking at himself. His father just smiled.

"Yea. I forgot what I needed to talk to you about. It wasn't important. I think it was just something about your mother working late again."

Phai nodded. "Okay." But he wasn't going anywhere and his father smiled at his stubborn son.

"It was nice having your friends over. It's nice seeing you have a good time. Please don't make me repeat myself Phai."

"Dad, it's not that. I know I may come off distant to you and maybe sometimes you think I don't appreciate what you do for me, but I do. And just knowing that you're trying to get used to Alex and I, even though you still don't officially approve, means the absolute world to me. It means so much, you have no idea. Even if you end up tomorrow deciding you weren't going to go through with this, I will still love you for trying when it mattered most, and for not abandoning me as your son right away."

Amyntor never realized just how smart and aware his son actually was and it surprised him. Stunned him actually. Phai already knew that his father was going to eventually if he hadn't already hear about what happened. What Alex's father caught them doing, and this was Phai's way of saying 'I'm sorry and I will never do it again.'

Phai walked up to his dad and hugged him slowly, letting his head rest on his dad's chest, getting instantly teary eyed, truly and immensely sorry for not being able to be the son they were looking forward to having. And the moment his dad hugged him back, in his tame way of affection, Phai wondered how many hugs Alex has ever received from his father, because in this moment, hugging his father as long as he could, meant the world to him. It was comforting to know, that his dad would never leave him in the dark. It was good to know that he felt loved. But he was scared. Scared to death. Frightened that his father would just one day, wake up one morning and decide to abandon him early, the feeling Alex has everyday of his life. An experience he wasn't ready to face just yet.

Amyntor, after letting Phai go, watched from the kitchen window the two boys, talking by the driveway. He spotted and experienced his own son laughing and smiling. And he couldn't help but slightly smile himself. Purely mesmerized by the blonde, who was the cause of his son's happiness. Amyntor found it difficult at times to read Phai because Phai's thoughts were more of conceptual feelings. They were difficult and too complex to understand or read. His emotions were abstract compared to others who were more concrete. But it was Alex who knew exactly how to lock in Phai's masterpiece of emotions.

* * *

><p>"I think your dad and Cleitus were bonding a bit."<p>

Phai snickered. "I don't know how I feel about that."

Alex and Phai were quietly walking as the two took a long stroll together holding hands, down the dark path in the open field by their house, the only light being the soft light of the moon, which provided just enough for them to witness each others loveliness. But it was also enough provided so that Phai could notice something unsolved casted in the indifferent eyes of the blonde.

"It's okay if you're mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I forgot to tell you that I told him about us. That's something I should have spoken to you about first. I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad." The blonde smiled. But Phai noticed something was still empty.

"What's wrong?'

"Nothing." The Alex smiled, biting his lower lip.

"What?" Phai smirked.

"I'm sorry that my father caught us, getting it on. I know that was awkward when I told you."

Phai didn't think getting worked up about it again would do any of them any good. He shrugged. "Ohwell." Then he laughed. "It is weird that your dad caught us having sex. Was he pissed?"

"I don't know. I can't tell sometimes with him."

"I can't tell with my dad either." Phai then sighed. "What are you doing after this?"

"I don't know, maybe read. I'll figure out something. What about you?"

"I haven't figured it out yet. But you should probably take it easy anyway."

A sudden change happened in Phai and he stopped what he was doing and looked to Alex. Alex was to busy focusing on the touch of Phai's hand, rubbing his fingers softly over his fingers not noticing Phai had eyes on him. "I'm sorry." It was like a sweet whisper and Alex looked up at Phai. He smiled sweetly.

"Sorry about what."

"About everything, that's happening with you. I wish I could figure out a way to help."

"I'm fine Phai and theirs nothing anyone could do to help."

"Maybe you need someone to be there for you. Sometimes that can help."

"Please stop looking at me like you feel sorry for me."

"How are you going to heal Alex? Rest is like the most essential thing a human needs in order to heal. I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could take your pain for myself. I can tell you right now, that the Phai you know in your dream would tell you that you're running from something and you're going to keep running until you're lost. I don't want to have to miss you. Alex I know it's personal and you'll probably hate me in a few seconds just for bringing it up, but how did you keep your health risk a secret from your parents for this long? Wouldn't the doctors have to notify your parents about what's wrong with you especially since you were so young since you've had it?"

Alex sighed. He kinda didn't want to talk about it but Phai deserved an answer. "Yea. The doctor should have said something. He should have said anything. Instead he told my parents that the only thing wrong was my restlessness at night and trouble sleeping, even though he had strict evidence of my disease. But things are different when the doctor who has took care of you all his life, is a good friend to my parents. He's been our family doctor for sixteen years. I've been seeing him since I've moved down here. I didn't understand it myself either, in fact I started to get angry as to why my parents weren't taking me so seriously only to find out he never told them. I do remember telling my mother one day, when I was finally old enough to know that not being able to sleep was not normal. I told my mom that I couldn't sleep. She assumed the cause was nightmares, which in my head at thirteen years old, the visions I was having were actual nightmares to me, so I accepted that I was not sleeping because of the nightmares, even though they were just visions. Then another day I started having pain in my eyes and the back of my head. I was still young, I didn't know what was happening or why I would be out of breath. Again these visions, they were just nightmares at the time, but nightmares that felt more real each day. I said mom, dad, I'm hurting I need to go to the doctor. I cried and cried. So they took me to the same doctor. They ran tests on me. I couldn't explain the pain I was feeling. I didn't know where it was coming from so I just said I feel pain everywhere but mostly in my head. The doctors couldn't explain it. So the only thing they could come up with was insomnia and that having insomnia could lead to discomfort, pain, headaches. But they left out the fatal part of it. I was spoken to about depression and stress but I was just thirteen I was too young to even know what being depressed felt like and that's when my doctor figured it was something much more. Something he never told my parents. Maybe he was scared to tell them that their thirteen year old boy wasn't going to make it to sixteen. Maybe it was bad timing. Maybe he was trying not to frighten me. I don't know. I've told my parents over and over again that I wasn't able to sleep but I was never able to get it across to them. I was just a kid. When I said I couldn't sleep, I meant I couldn't shut my fucking eyes for ten fucking seconds. Everyday since I was a baby I never slept. All babies do is eat and sleep. So could you imagine what I was doing. I would just lay there with my eyes open as quiet as can be. How did they not notice that their kid couldn't sleep for the life of him? Most parents I've met, either take their children completely seriously or half seriously. My parents never took me seriously. I've been continually going to the doctor. I told him, it's gotten worse, nothings changing and that's when he gave me the bad news. That my heart beats were abnormal, my blood pressure was high, and my vision was bad and my muscles were heavier, and my brain's activity level was severely high. He knew it related to insomnia but he also knew it was much more than that. No ones ever died because they couldn't sleep. It sounds ridiculous right? He never told my parents about the actual condition, he did let them know I had a sleeping disorder. He knew not to prescribe me pills because that would possibly be hazardous, so he stuck with remedies instead. It doesn't look good when doctors and nurses can't figure out, with blood tests and x-rays, why I was the way I was. So they decided they didn't know yet. He told me he'd try and do everything he can, until the day we discovered that there was nothing I can do but stay healthy. I decided not to tell me parents about it any further and I've possibly came to terms that I will just die when I die."

"I know what you're thinking Alex. You're thinking it won't help to have support."

"You're right; it won't work to have support because it would make it worse. I'd rather die miserable than die knowing I had family and friends to look forward to still."

"Don't say that. I thought things were getting better? Your doctor said things were steady right?"

_I looked at Phai. Deep in his eyes. Holding back my darkest and most dangerous secret from him. A secret I should have never hid. The expectation was that I was waiting to die very soon. The reality of it was that something much worse happens. _

The blonde blinked. He was staring at the shimmering small pond. The moonlight gently settling upon it beautifully. The blonde's lashes flickered, wondering what the king inside had got going on. What type of things he was planning for his and Phai's future. Alex looked up at his lover, his never closing eyes holding on. "Yea." He nodded, with a slight smile, a smile that would steal the night away from the true matter at hand, a smile that distracted himself from breaking another day. "That's right. Things are steady."

Phai looked away sadly, feeling strongly about the untruthfulness of that statement. He detected something coming. The brunette knew something wasn't right and wouldn't be right in the near future. He stole Alex's hand like he had lost him already.

Alex tightened the grip. "Whatever happens, when something goes wrong, know that I will always love you, more than anything. No matter what."

"I believe you."

_And from here on, this moment, things were about to change. He knew it. And I knew it. It was coming eventually, like a thief running up behind us in the night. _

"Sorry for leaving you with my dad today. Was it weird?"

Alex loosely took his eyes off their silent shadows and shook his head. "He was actually very pleasant. I like him. You're lucky. I can tell your dad loves you...

Very much. "

* * *

><p><em>Flashback...<em>

Amyntor took a quick glance at Alex. They were on the highway on there way to the hospital. The boy seemed to be half dozed off and half awake and he noted it with a frown. "You hanging in there?"

The blonde just nodded, not saying anything and Amyntor just shook his head in difference and under his breath, sighed.

"Are you in pain this very minute?" Amyntor tried again, firmly but delicately, his fatherly and military instincts, joining at once.

Alex shook his head, still not quite there, and it felt like it was getting harder and harder to get him to say anything.

Amyntor wasn't to sure about that either. "I'm not convinced." He scoffed.

"I'm fine. I feel fine." Alex finally spoke and Phai's fathers face perked up surprised by that.

"Wow you live! I was afraid I was talking to myself this whole time!" Amyntor playfully teased.

Alex just looked at him like he was a dork but it made him smile at least. But the smiling seemed to have backfired and he began to cough ruggedly and started to wheeze heavily. Amyntor wasn't hesitant in reacting, and he instantly grew worried. He removed a hand from the steering wheel and placed it comfortingly on Alex's shoulder. "Just breathe and take deep breaths."

Alex nodded and that's what he did. Then after awhile he finally found the air he needed to uncompress his throat and chest, he relaxed back and nothing felt better once the oxygen in his lungs responded back to normal.

The cough wasn't a standard cough and the labored breathing definitely wasn't because he could possibly have broken ribs and Amyntor wasn't going to ignore it lightly at all. "What is that asthma?"

"Yea." Alex answered tranquilly. He didn't know how to describe it otherwise. But he figured he might as well just call it something else.

"You don't have some kind of inhaler or something that you carry with you?"

Alex shook his head barely. "I don't need it."

Amyntor was astounded at Alex's carelessness. "That's not a good attitude towards your health."

"It comes and goes. I go through it everyday and I always end up fine. I've been through worse."

"Like what?" Amyntor still couldn't believe it.

"Abuse." Alex responded, his voice coming off rigid.

"From who?"

"Sometimes my father. Sometimes myself."

Amyntor didn't understand why he was so surprised. Phillip looked the type.

"Verbal abuse, physical abuse, it's all the same. It's how we deal with it which makes a difference."

The blonde's eyes were fixed on the road. "It gets to me though."

"Don't you think you're better than that?"

The blonde just smirked to himself and Amyntor knew that was his final and only answer. He couldn't understand why such a smart kid could think so little of himself. "You know I've been abused most my life, physically just as much as verbally. I understand where you're at."

"Who?"

"Mostly from my father. My mother neglected me and I was stuck with my old man. The only thing I thank him for now is never finding me. I still can't believe the type of shit he's done. And I still don't even know how I'm making it right now. But to abuse yourself is an entire different force."

_I always make time to compare Phai's father to mine. Amyntor was and always had been a calming influence which impressed me most about him. He's sensitive and patient something my father was bad at. He also had a very strong family ethic. But many people in Amyntor's life didn't know that he had many regrets. _

_My father on the other hand... well, for him actions spoke louder than words. He had very little regrets. _

_So he says._

The blonde blinked. He had gone deep within himself capturing that last comment. But he didn't want to think about it, so why was he?

Amyntor could tell that it was a sensitive topic for the blonde, so he changed it.

"So I've heard he's bad news. That Cassy kid."

Alex shifted in his seat loosening the seat belt around his body, and the pain was not only antagonizing but agonizing. He allowed a deep breath to leave his mouth. "Cassy's okay. He just likes to look at himself as the rebel of the group but he's still a friend. He was also raised into an abusive home. He has worse daddy issues than I do. I commend him for being stronger."

"I heard your friends talking. They said you allowed him to beat the crap out of you."

"Yea. I did."

Amyntor looked at him. Eyes composed. "Why?"

"Everyone seems to be asking me why but I can't give them an answer. I don't know."

Amyntor just nodded, keeping focus on the road.

"It's none of my business and you don't have to say anything but you're not doing yourself any favors or any good abusing yourself, neglecting your needs especially your health. You could very well be angry at yourself, and you probably don't trust yourself either. Don't get me wrong but I can tell you're not a happy camper. You have too much going on inside yourself and you're lost at how to release it. I personally know that feeling but no one can release that anger but you. Go to a junk yard. Break something. Because keeping yourself bottled up is unfriendly, destructive and damaging. I've hurt people so close to me Alex and the feeling is unforgiving. You need to stop doing what other people think is best for you, that's including your parents and start doing what you have to do and believe me, no one can give you better advice than someone who has been through it. Before you can proceed on with your life, you need to find out who you are. Exactly who you are, not just bits in pieces and sometimes that means to leave."

"Leave where?"

"Wherever you want."

Alex turned to him. "You're right."

_Amyntor couldn't have given me better advice. I needed to do something for, whether that was fucking up or falling down. I needed to take time to think about myself. I needed to take off. I needed to be somewhere quiet and distant. Go to a junk yard. Because the feeling of anger, sadness and loneliness was taking over quicker than I had imagined. I was about to graduate from Highschool and move on to college for fuck sake and I was still in the same spot I was when this shit started. Lost. Fucking Lost. But if this truly was a dream, I had nothing to lose. _

_Amyntor reminded me that I had something in store. I had something in store for myself, with no clue to what it could be. And I think everyone around me, everyone close, had a bad feeling about it. Hell, I had a bad feeling about. So time lost was much needed. So that I could find myself again. _

"I'm sorry." Alex spoke softly.

"Sorry for what?"

"For falling in love with your son."

Amyntor smiled, a slight chuckle hidden in the back of his throat, but it was filled deeply with sorrow. He told himself he should be the one asking for forgiveness. He was sorry that he couldn't be absolutely accepting towards it but he was happy that everything was finally clear, that Alex finally came through to him. Finally admitting his feelings for his son, without him having to force it from him. His eyes filled with water and he kept driving.

"You're probably thinking I'm not good enough for Phai."

"I didn't say that. I don't think that either. I just need, I absolutely need my son to be happy."

The blonde stared off, as the familiar past of filled pain eyes entered his head. The image of his lovers unhappiness and emptiness screamed at him and there was absolutely no way he could forgive what he has done to him, And the memories broke through, he couldn't ignore it anymore, when he cheated on his loving general with other lovers, leaving him alone with a saddened and abandoned heart. He would accept the daily burden of being without Phai if it meant he didn't have to put him through any of that ever again. "I'm not good enough for him. I never have been." Why couldn't the world be as dark as his thoughts, that way he was on even ground and his complexity would read as a regular thing.

Amyntor sighed. "No one is truly good enough for anybody. Do you think I'm good enough for my wife because we look happy together? No. There are things I've kept from her and I swore to myself I will tell her as long as I'm with her. But I haven't and I'm not going too. The same goes for her. No one has that perfect match. There is always going to be an issue. Even ones that are unsolvable. I'm not opposed to you liking my son Alex. But if you're thinking that you're somehow not good enough for him then it sounds like you need to figure out what you want. Because anyone who is going to love my son had better love him one hundred percent."

"I love your son more than a percentage is worth sir."

"Then what's the problem?"

Alex looked at him.

_Have you ever started to enjoy a good TV show? You wait for it to come on every week. You fall in love with one of the characters. There is nothing more exciting than to have a relationship with this special show. The episodes just keep getting better and better. The seasons keep getting better and better and you're just fall in love. And you've felt you grew up with it. It's a part of you now…_

_Then out of nowhere it gets cancelled. This is my relationship with Phai. I want to know Phai forever. I want to love him forever. Not just some of his life. I was planning on living a short life. Very short. And it occurred to me even more than it has been, that I might not be around long enough to grow with Phai. He deserves to grow up with someone and live happy with someone. He doesn't deserve to grow happy with me, loose me sooner rather than later, and then live lonely the rest of his life. _

_I will not allow that to happen. If he's going to be happy, he had better stay happy… as long he lives. _

* * *

><p><strong>Another chapter is up for you guys. Hope you enjoy it! It's extra long, just how some of you like it :) And as always thanks for the reviews!<strong>

**-Also, this is in response to Lysis, in your last review, sorry I didn't get to you sooner, but I just want to reiterate my comment about Craterus being a coward. Craterus was not a coward in the sense that he feared the enemy. We need to look deeper. He was a coward in the sense that he was giving up. I understand my story is fiction but for the most part I do stick true to history and true to the movie in which my characters are solely based on, whether it had it's flaws or not. I understand your sensitivity on the subject. However I never said that Craterus was a coward in battle. I also know that ALL of Alexander's companions and generals were brave elite soldiers on the battlefield. But when it came to Alexander's dreams and ambitions, there is no doubt that his men did cower. They were afraid of the unknown. They were afraid of Alexander's way of thinking. They were afraid of his dreams. Because as we all know, Alexander's way of thinking was far and beyond, something they couldn't quite latch onto. It was beyond their world. Alexander has every right to call anyone a coward who wouldn't and couldn't compare to his aspirations and dreams. Maybe that's bad-mannered and cruel of him to say or think, but his dreams were enormous. He has a right to call Craterus a coward for not believing in him, just like he has the right to call anyone not willing to follow him to the ends of the earth, a coward. Calling Alexander a coward would be a different story. Only Alexander could call Alexander a coward, unless someone exceeds his ambition. That's his train of thought. **

**Alexander gave his men a speech before he went east. He talked about having a peaceful death. I could only imagine the idea his men had after. They probably thought their king had finally gone mad, that Alexander was leading them all to their death, that he was biting off more than he could chew. Maybe Alexander was punishing them. Or maybe Alexander was an extremist and a true tyrant. Craterus approached the king to speak for the rest of the men. Standing up to Alexander like that, there is nothing coward about it, but Alexander assumed instantly his men cowards, because they were giving up. **

**We can argue that Alexander's thought process at the time was naturally flawed. Because he couldn't process why his men wanted desperately to go home to their wives and kids so badly, something Alexander in all honestly probably didn't care or understand anything about. He looked forward to something. After all, glory was just around the corner.**

**If we're going to go down the fiction road, note this is not my opinion, this is Alexander's opinion. I am the author, yes, therefore I must take the time to understand my characters. I need to understand what was happening in Alexander's mind at the time. I have to put myself in Alexander's shoes. I have to consider what I would have done or thought in a situation such as his. Alexander has every right to call any man a coward if they can't step on the same knives he's willing to step on. He's made his sacrifices for his men, and he's been through every thing they've been through and more. In his mind, if he could do it, everyone else should be able. Don't take coward as the literal sense of the word. Take it as Alexander's conceptual way of thinking. Take it as Alexander being on an entire different platform. We all know Craterus isn't a coward or else he'd be of no use to Alexander or the army, but as far as my fiction story goes, it makes sense for Craterus and all of the men to eventually cower. They have been in India too long. They have men dying left and right from sickness and snake poisoning. They had almost lost the battle. They had almost lost Alexander, and now the king has gone missing. They are restless and scared and what is left to do? You also have to understand why Alexander would even throw out a comment like that. Craterus was a friend to the king, so imagine how Alexander feels when he discovers the friend he trusted more than anyone besides Hephaistion was giving up on him.**

** Anyone can be brave in heart, and still be a coward in mind.**

**I hope this helps you understand where I was coming from. I mean no disrespect to Craterus or to you. I appreciate you and respect you as a reader and author and I'm glad you're still on this journey with me. **

**Love **

**Stranger**


	29. Chapter 29

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Chapter Twenty Eight **

_**/**_

**Part 2**

_Every second I close my eyes and every second after I open them, it's been a lifetime. And every minute more brings me closer to Phai._

_They say when you have to let someone go, it's the hardest decision of your life. I was afraid because I didn't know what to do. No matter how hard I tried, I could never seem to convince myself that I was the shadow of his heart. And I allowed an unknown current to carry me away instead._

_And as I drift downwards, into more darkness, severely damaged, I try to close my eyes. _

_Just like I always do._

He nodded, peeking over his round glasses as he checked his chart concerning the young man and where the teen was at currently.

The blonde was sitting quietly at the edge of the exam table, in the doctor's office with his shirt in his lap, the naked dark bruises around the cage of his ribs exposed, his back muscles and shoulders tenser than the wall he was staring at. The doctor giving him a reprimanding speech, on how he would have been best off avoiding that fight at school. It was best if he avoided fights altogether but Alex wasn't just there because of his injured ribs.

_I've been slipping…falling on bad days. And as I put out of sight more of my bottomless despair, my heart seemed to be fighting against everything good for me. As if good things were just out of my reach. _

_Out of sight. _

He was deeply glaring in his mind, angered, about everything…at this pointless long journey of an unhappy life. And in the next second he realized one thing; That all things must come to an end. He just happened to be stuck dead center with no end or beginning.

_Lately I've been counting every second I breathe in and breathe out. Lately I've been finding it easier to turn my back on the things I love. Lately, I'm nowhere to be found. Lately my heart has been skipping its beats. Lately the fire I used to have has been burning out. _

_Lately I've been eternally missed, lonely and slowly losing my mind._

He lightly blinked, finding again his empty, distressed eyes staring hard at the boring white wall of the room, the wall he looked at every time he came in for his check-ups. And after years of staring at the face of this wall, he began to grow a connection with it over time. He reminded himself that he was everything like it. Numb and empty.

_In time, Phai's tears will make themselves known and I'll try over and over to wipe away his blood shot eyes. There is no easy way to let him know; I am no longer his brave champion. I am no longer his fierce lion. Not even his mighty king. Because as far as he's concerned, his king is slowly dying…Not realizing that these emotions, this heartbreak, confirm that I'm more alive than ever. _

_I wish I could brag. I wish I could say I'm finally asleep. But being awake is all I have. _

"So," Dr. Phillip Conahan began as he flipped slowly through the files, scanning through it again seeing if he missed anything important. It certainly felt like it. "Are you ready for prom?"

"Haven't thought about it." Alex answered, dispassionately. One thing was for sure; if he didn't go he wouldn't mind.

"Hmm." Phillip nodded, putting the chart aside, and then began to check Alex's breathing and if it had changed since their last visit. It did. But only a little and he could hear a tiny wheeze every time the blonde took a deep breath. He took note just incase it was something he had to look into.

"Do you at least have someone in mind to take? Just incase you end up thinking about it?"

"Haven't thought about that either." The blonde answered, wanting nothing more than to avoid the subject of prom. Trying to carry his thoughts elsewhere.

_But it wasn't working. My thoughts kept carrying. _

_I didn't have a bad feeling about what was going to happen the day of prom. I knew exactly what was going to happen the day of prom. This wasn't a fate thing. I was going to do something stupid. _

"You don't seem excited for it." His doctor looked up at him curiously.

Alex lifted the mysterious colored eyes and glanced at the man who has been taking care of him since he was a child. "You want a dying person to be happy about a day that's going to end as quickly as it starts? Call me crude, but I don't have time for that."

The doctor sighed, revealing a sign of defeat. And it wasn't about Alex's lack of excitement for prom. He crossed his arms across his chest and looked up at his less than pleasant patient. "I can't imagine what you're going through Alex. Believe me when I say that."

Alex shook his head, knowing that bad news was coming one way or another. He tried hard not to seethe into his frustration.

"Unfortunately I still don't understand this myself." Dr. Conahan continued at a generous pace, knowing that this was a touchy topic for the teen. "I've tried everything. I've researched everything. I've contacted insomniac specialists. I've looked over both of your parent's medical history and they have never suffered from any sort of sleeping disorder, Fatal Familial Insomnia and or depression, which is the only conclusion as to why you can't find sleep." He explained. "Normally this disease is a gene mutation found in families and the child doesn't carry it until they are middle-aged. But the condition you have is wildly unpredictable."

It wasn't depression. It couldn't be. "I'm only depressed because I can't sleep!" the young man raised his voice. But he quickly calmed down; knowing that wouldn't help the pain he was already in. It would probably do more bad than good.

The doctor understood and didn't take Alex's frustration as a personal attack. "Fatal insomnia is extremely rare and theirs only been a couple of records in the world that show people actually dieing from it."

"But?" Alex muttered.

"But the difference between your condition and theirs is that they were losing sleep. They were not without the complete inability to sleep. They were also military and it is found common in that kind of duty. There is no easy way to say this Alex. I wish I could say that something supernatural is happening here. There is no way you should still be functioning at all and I know you hate to hear that but it's the God honest truth. Your heart and your brain functions should have failed a long time ago, especially looking at your brain patterns. You should have been suffering from complete impotence, severe panics, appetite loss, weight loss, elevated heart rates, heavy fevers, loss of coordination. Your brain however remains active despite where the levels are at, you're intelligent levels have remained steady meaning damage hasn't begun yet to that part of the brain, and you're physical activity is phenomenal. You have an average awareness, and as far as the eye can see your behavior, your speech, and physical look perform perfectly normal but your symptoms and the x-rays we've took over the course of years, not to mention our blood work aren't displaying you at a healthy stage. Your blood pressure is off the charts, your pulse rate is high, and your heart beats are excessive. Those are just the beginning stages."

"So from the looks of it I'm fine but I'm really not?" The teen asked skeptically. He had dealt with this situation since birth so he couldn't figure out why he wasn't use to it by now. He couldn't say he handled it well then, but now, even as an adult, he was more scared than ever. "I'm just supposed to not understand my fate up until the day I die again? Is that supposed to give me some kind of hope or something?"

The older mans concerned gaze looked directly into the boy's, understanding his fear. "You have every right to be upset about this. Especially scared. Imagine how frustrating it is for me that our tests result show up hazardous but it's beyond my understanding and unexplainable. Your body is slowly deteriorating and everything we try seems to back fire. Sleeping pills we've tested and all we've learned from that is that it kills you quicker. You've tried sleeping remedies and that hasn't been effective and the sleep test was proven unsuccessful and fatal again. If I were to conclude on what I believe is happening here, is that something wants you awake Alex and its sending deluded signals to the brain which is preventing you from sleeping. It's something we can't prove but it's possible."

Alex let out a deep breath, as he sat up straighter. "So an internal thing?"

"It could be that the proteins in your body have folded in a harmful way triggering a chain reaction, and even if it was your body's immune system is too weak to fix the damages or even counter attack the proteins and since we can't prove that either, any physician that you see would call this a symptom of depression or mental illness, whether it is or not. They would also conclude my exact conclusion, that you have Idiopathic Insomnia which is due to unknown causes. It starts as an infant and continues on through a person's life. It's very detrimental which is most likely what you are suffering from."

"And this Idiopathic Insomnia causes people to choke up water? Water just doesn't collect in the human lungs like that unless I was drowning."

"What happened that night is still beyond anything I've ever seen before. We should have never had you take the sleep test. I fear the worst of it hasn't even begun yet."

_Water. Mother Nature's strongest force. Beautiful when you look at it. And deadly when you're in it. _

_I love water. _

_I just wish it loved me. _

Alex's eyes narrowed, thinking all the way back to his middle school days, when he had almost drowned in the pond behind his house and if that had anything to do with it. He also looked back on all the accidents the king has had with water. He's always felt he was drowning...in an alternate life.

Somewhere.

"What about these premonitions that I'm having, the things I see. That has to be in relation to what's going on with my health right?"

"Visions, future seeing is actually not uncommon. It's common right along with déjà vu. Some people experience it, some don't."

"Yea but people see into the future if I'm not mistaken. I'm seeing into the past. It feels like memories. It's hard to describe it but I feel like I'm involved in another time and that time hasn't been finished and I'm off somewhere, nowhere to be found and these visions, these memories, whatever they are, are here because of it." Alex was aware how crazy that sounded.

The doctor was a man of science and wasn't quite taught in the study of supernaturalism so this was a difficult question for him to answer. "What you're seeing could be a side affect to the insomnia you're suffering from." He actually believed it to be hallucinations rather than visions.

The blonde shook his head. "No it's not a side affect. It's the cause."

"Alex we've tried ways to test this. Maybe I'm not the right person to answer your question concerning what you're seeing. You could deal with a specialist in that genre. I will look into it for you." He offered.

"I'm not crazy." The teen insisted. "I'm having these memories, these sequences and because of them I can't sleep."

Doctor Conahan nodded in thought, not meeting the boy's eyes, like he was trying to figure out another explanation. "Are you positive that these sequences aren't dreams? You could actually be sleeping not knowing you are. Sometimes dreams can be very vivid and they can feel almost quite real. I've seen patients who come in here because they can't seem to decipher what their dreams are from reality."

"I have these visions in the middle of class, in the middle of practice, during dinner, when I'm trying to do my homework, when I'm ordering something at Starbucks; I have it when I'm crossing the street. When I'm taking a shower. In my car when I'm driving. These are not delusions, these are not dreams." Alex uttered vaguely. "They're a pain in the ass and I suffer through them everyday any hour it wishes."

The doctor folded his arms across his lab coat. "Then Alex I think its time to let your parents know exactly what this is about. They need to know. They need to know why their son slipped into a coma like state and died on his birthday."

He watched the teen shift uneasily.

"I don't know if she told you this, but your mother called me that day, she was devastated. She thought moving you out to Colorado with her was a bad idea and that you harmed yourself because you didn't want to be around her. She thought you took out your anger on her because of what happened between her and your father. Your own mother, Alex, thought you purposely harmed yourself to be away from her." The older man emphasized as he explained. "She loves you. What could she suspect otherwise if she doesn't know the truth? When she got the call, she thought the doctors were misinformed about the cause of your death. They told her it was due to stress and that the stress caused your immune system to fail. She was in denial."

"I didn't care what she thought; I was just happy to be alive." Alex inflexibly answered.

A partial sigh escaped the physician's mouth. "The only reason why she was okay with you moving back to California with your father is because I'm placed over here and I'm a doctor she can trust. I've been your doctor for longer than I can think of, and I owe it to both of them to tell them what the real issue is."

"We didn't lie to them. We told them it was insomnia, which my dad already forgot I had, and my mother is too busy hating my dad to even care anymore. That wasn't a lie. I just decided going into full detail wasn't worth my time or theirs."

"People need to know what you are really dealing with Alex. I can't stress it enough."

The blonde chuckled in disagreement. "What will they understand about it? What would they even know about brain disease that can't even be proven? Try telling someone you've never once slept in your entire life of living. It sounds insane. There is nothing rare about it; it's simply not supposed to happen. As far as life goes, humans are meant to sleep. That's how it's always been…Thank you though. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. Thank you for keeping this from my parents as long as you've had but I do need it to stay that way. I'm not going to be a burden to anyone."

"I respect your wishes. But when you start going through the stages, you're going to destroy a lot of relationships you have with close ones. You could also potentially ruin a future for yourself. Depression if you don't have it already will start to take its course. You will begin to hallucinate and your moods will change uncontrollably. Like your father you will possibly turn to alcohol which will make your insomnia worse. You are going to need all the support you need, from friends, family, possible lovers, and no one will understand what you're going through unless you tell them. Pushing them out of your life is not going to help you heal."

"You speak as if I have a long life ahead of me." Alex's lashes lowered as he pulled his shirt back over his head, easing it back onto his battered body.

"May I suggest that you keep up with what you're doing? Eat healthy, exercise daily, be around people you care about, be around people who make you laugh. Read to exercise your brain. If you dance, go clubbing. If you pray, pray to your god, whatever god that may be. Sex is also a healthy thing with someone you love, so if you have that special someone be around them. Be around friends. Go to prom. If you need time to yourself, take time to yourself. All I ask is that you don't run from this. It's the only way you'll be able to live a life worth living. The only reason why you still live is because you have something to live for, don't lose it because if you do you are either going to die very soon, or you're going to live a long life of suffering."

It was good advice but the blonde was done taking life seriously. "Hopefully your soon comes sooner."

When he walked towards the door to leave, the doctor stopped him placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Have a good rest of your day Alex. Call me at anytime."

The blonde nodded lightly then just turned and left the room.

_I will disappear…__Lost forever in love._

* * *

><p>"Phai, oh Phai!" Callista called up the stairs for her 'taking-longer-than-usual-to-get-ready' brother, when in reality he was just dragging behind. Taking his time. Thinking. About things, things that were crossing his mind that he was unable to voice because he didn't know who to voice it to. And the one person he needed to talk with was acting unusually distant.<p>

He was staring into the mirror. His blue eyes filled with unknown intensity not really ready for this day to come. The bathroom was covered with moist steam from the shower he had just taken. He locked eyes with his own, hating that he knew the reason for why he wasn't in a smiling mood.

The browned haired teen finally sighed, wrapping the towel around his waist and left the bathroom.

It was their first time sitting down for breakfast all together in a long time and the lady of the house wanted to take full advantage of it. She smiled lovingly when her son decided to join them several minutes later.

"I'm glad you could finally join us." She said kissing him on the cheek.

Phai threw his backpack next to his chair, and dropped in his seat.

"So Phai have you decided who you're taking to prom yet?" His mother asked while getting breakfast on the table.

The brunette shook his wet head. "I might not even go."

"What kind of attitude is that!?" She asked in shock, shifting her weight to one foot with a hand on her hip. "You can't miss prom. It's going to be such a big day for everyone. Your friends are all going to be there and Tolem told me you were excited about it."

Phai sent his mother a weird look at how seriously she took his response. It really wasn't a big deal to him, if he went or not.

"Phai's probably angry because none of the girls will go with him." Callista stirred her cereal after scampering on over to her chair with a beaming grin.

Phai just blinked at his bratty adorable little sister and looked back at his mother. "Well Tolem lied to you." He was going to have to talk to Tolem about that. He hated Homecoming, what made him think he was excited for Prom.

"I'm sure all the girls are all over you. What's holding you back?" She reached into the cupboard, taking out glasses for juice.

"It's not that. I'm just picky." He shrugged.

"I'm sure it can't be that hard to pick one. I heard there are plenty of nice girls at your school."

Phai paused, his eyes halting at the spoon that he was clinking against his bowl of apple jacks. He looked up at his mother, for a long moment, wondering when he would have the guts to tell her that he wasn't interested in girls. Wondering when he could finally tell her that he enjoyed his time with Alex. Wondering when he could finally tell her he was gay. Wondering how much she would resent him after and if he should even go that far in hurting her. "I guess." He answered, looking away and resumed back to eating.

She nudged her husband after finally taking a seat. "I see where he gets his moods. You know, you are behaving exactly like how your father was during our prom." She directed to her moody son.

"I thought the idea of prom was silly." Amyntor told his kids. "And I still do, so Phai if you don't want to go by all means, don't."

Phai smiled. "Sounds good to me."

His mother gave her husband a reprimanding glare. "I don't think so. Phai you're going."

She couldn't understand why her boy seemed to be lost in more serious thoughts and why her husband was encouraging it. But Amyntor knew it was an uncomfortable topic for Phai and decided not to discuss it.

"Honey if he doesn't want to go he shouldn't have to. Let's talk about something else. Like how delicious this meal is."

The mother frowned. "Its cereal honey, no effort was put into it whatsoever. And what's so bad. I just think it would be really adorable if Phai went to prom. He would be so handsome all dressed up in a suit. And we can take photos and put it in our photo album."

"Yea he can finally do his hair." Callista added in. "What's not to be excited about?"

"Callista stop picking on your brother." Amyntor scolded her.

"What, he looks like Tarzan."

Phai grinned. "And you look like Dora the explorer."

"I just happen to find her quite beautiful." She replied.

"She also has a staring problem." Phai countered back.

"Phai don't listen to your sister. I think Tarzan has awesome hair." Amyntor said.

"Maybe you should take that awesome hair to prom?" His mother interrupted and Phai glared at her. "Just a suggestion. You have amazing hair Hun. Show it off."

"No." He answered in a quick whine. "Can I leave now?"

"God Phai you're boring." Callista said. "Why couldn't I just have another sister?"

"Why couldn't I just have another brother?"

"OK you two finish your cereal and let's get you to school!" Amyntor excused himself from the table, and began clearing the table leaving less work for his wife. He kissed his wife on the head as Callista and Phai began gathering their stuff, letting her know that he will take the kids to school. He knew she needed to get some sleep, since she had to work another graveyard shift.

"You know what, dad, I can take the bus." Phai said, picking up his backpack and getting ready to sprint for the door.

"No, I'll take you." Amyntor answered enthusiastically. Needless to say his son was not so enthusiastic. Callista ran passed Phai out the door calling shotgun.

"Okay have a good day at school you two!" Their mother shouted as they were leaving the house. "And Phai remember to smile." she reminded.

"I'm sure I won't forget." He answered with no enthusiasm and closed the door.

* * *

><p>When Amyntor pulled up in front of the high school he patted the steering wheel. "Okay, woo hoo! You're here. It's time to learn."<p>

Looking at the school was like looking at a prison and then Phai was thinking about how far his scheming skills would get him out of it. He arched a decisive brow. He turned to look at his dad with a risky smile. "You know what dad; I don't want to go to school today but I have a good reason for it."

Amyntor knew where this was going. He turned off the engine and looked at his son. "Oh yea, what would that be?"

"I'm glad you asked, I think we should have a father, son bonding day."

"Phai, I pulled this shit when I was younger."

"Damnit!" Phai cussed and folded his arms.

"I knew if I let you take the bus, you would have ditched school. What's going on?" His father asked clearly concerned. Phai had never been the type to ditch school.

"I wouldn't have ditched school. I just wouldn't have gone to my classes." He reiterated.

"Phai?"

"What?" The boy moaned and look hesitantly at his father.

"Go to class." Amyntor demanded. "You're almost done, school's almost over and you can rejoice then. Just please, please don't be like you weird friend, Cleiter."

Phai frowned. "It's Cleitus, dad."

"Whatever, just graduate. It's just around the corner."

_It was just around the corner. _

Amyntor smiled widely wanting his pouty son to smile with him.

Phai sighed, unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car.

"Brat." His father teased. Phai just smiled and watched his father drive off. Then he walked towards the school going straight to his locker, through the crowded hall of loud teens, and began putting his things away.

"Wad up Phai!" Crater greeted, throwing a football at his locker. The door slammed shut on Phai, causing a loud clinking sound across the entire hallway.

"Fuck you Crater!" The browned haired teen greeted in return striking him a mean glare before turning back to spin his lock, agitatedly, reopening his locker.

"Oh Phai's getting his panties tied in a knot." Crater laughed.

"That wouldn't be the first time." Phil shoved Phai as the two bullies strolled by him.

Phai just rolled his eyes. It was a normal day at school, which was rather awkward. It seemed like the fight that happened about two weeks ago, between Cassy and Alex was just a dream. Like it never happened. Everyone was back to normal...Well, just some people.

Crater and Phil were back to bullying everybody in the hall, Tolem and Thais were arguing about something by their locker, Cleitus was getting chased by the janitor because he stole some of his supplies, Leon was trying to make it to class ontime, Perdicas was playing his stupid angry birds game on his cellular device, Roxanne was flirting with just about every guy in the school, Cassy was outside smoking what was left of his cigarette and Alex just wasn't around.

And now it definitely felt like it was before he had even spoken to Alex, when Alex wasn't a part of his life yet. It was like middle school all over again.

After his two day suspension Alex returned back to school, with the oddest behavior. Like whatever had happened during his days off, changed him. Just like that. Then he just stopped showing up all together leaving Phai with no good explanation. Leaving no one with an explanation at all.

He was just giving up.

Something in the back of Phai's head told him that he shouldn't worry about it and that it wasn't unusual for Alex to be acting a certain way, one week, then a different way another. Something else told him that he was doing the right thing in caring.

But everyday was getting worse. They would hang out still but Alex would go some days without even talking to him. He would just smile and that would be it for the day. Other days he would come to him with something to say but then walk away claiming he forgot, like something important was on his mind but he couldn't say what it was. Then there would be days where he was perfectly normal. The outgoing, joyful, loving Alex, who would take Phai to the shed behind their house to make out. The Alex who would make stupid jokes for Phai to laugh at, the Alex who would go over to his house and play Barbie's with Callista.

But Phai couldn't help but notice that, that Alex was missing lately.

He figured Alex would eventually come around and after he stopped thinking about it, which was probably the healthiest thing to do, he hurried to put his things away and started to get ready to head to his class. He turned around, when he felt someone tap his shoulder. Some random girl abruptly jumped in front of him stopping him at his locker. Her strawberry blonde hair was in up in curls and her cheeks were a blush red. She also had braces but she was cute.

"Hi." She said, smiling but trying not to seem too eager or excited. She always had a huge crush on Phai. Infact most of the girls in the school had secret crushes on Phai. Unfortunately for them he didn't swing there way. But they didn't know that yet.

"Hey." He noticed her from another class they took together but they never really talked. He thought about it for a sec and actually they never talked ever. He just smiled at her and went back to shoving shit into his locker.

"So I was wondering if you had anyone going to the prom with you." She asked nervously. Swaying her left leg back and forth.

"No, I don't." He shrugged, answering completely clueless that she wanted to go with him. She was sending him signals through her perkiness and shy flirty behavior and it didn't cross his mind once that she wanted him to ask her out, as if everyone should just automatically assume he wasn't interested.

"Oh. Okay…." The girl momentarily took her eyes to the school floor.

"What about you?" he asked. And she almost squealed inwardly thinking that this was it.

"I don't have anyone to go with." She abruptly answered. If that wasn't a clear sign to the blue eyed teen that she wanted desperately to go with him to the prom than nothing was.

"Really? You seem like a nice girl." This wasn't Phai flirting or sending mixed signals. This was him being nice. But the girls at the school had a reputation for taking any compliment a guy gives them as a sign that he was flirting.

"Thanks." She blushed harder. Then before she allowed it to get quiet and awkward she went out of her way to ask. "Well, would you want to go with me?"

Phai looked surprised that she asked. But before Phai could give an answer whether it was going to hurt the poor girl's feelings or excite her, Cassy came from nowhere and pulled Phai steering him away from his locker and away from the girl without even excusing himself.

Phai mouthed a silent apology to her and walked off with Cassy, not like he had a choice anyway as Cassy had his hand clenched around his arm. "What was that for Cassy? That was really rude." The brunette pulled his arm away from the green eyed teens grasp casting him a 'how dare you' glare once they stopped at the end of the hall.

Like always Cassy was without remorse. "I'm saving you from going to prom with a girl you don't even know or care to know. You're too nice and you would say yes to just about any of these girls just because you feel sorry for them."

"Sorry if I'm more compassionate than you are, you heartless fuck. She was nice. And she asked politely. Why shouldn't I go with her?" It was laughable how angry Phai was turning.

"Okay, reason number one. Braces. If she tries to kiss you and you're wearing your hair like that, game over. Hair stuck in teeth. Second reason. Because you don't want to go with her. You want to go with Alex and you can't because this is one of the most conservative schools ever. She'll get over it."

"Alex isn't even going." Phai replied.

"Yea. Right." Cassy couldn't take that one seriously.

"I'm serious Cassy. He has bigger things to deal with it."

"Like what?"

"He hasn't exactly been himself. Not to mention he's not even making an effort to go to his classes anymore."

"You seem upset about that?"

"Yea, should I not be?" Phai felt like he was responsible although he wasn't sure why.

"Well, did you piss him off? Did you refuse to give him head or something?"

Cassy snickered at Phai's upcoming reaction.

"Oh my god Cassy, this has nothing to do with me sucking his cock, what the fuck is wrong with you!" Phai shouted. Then quickly looked around just realizing how loud he announced that. After all they were in a hall full of people.

They were lucky. This was a rare day everyone seemed to be minding their own business.

"I think you're hiding something." Cassy casually began after realizing they were safe from reactions.

"Hiding what?" Phai glared in confusion.

"I don't know Phai." Cassy sounded accusing.

That answer sounded condescending and Phai felt a strong urge to punch Cassy in the face. Again.

"Are you suggesting I know the reason why he's acting the way he's acting?"

"You obviously have some idea."

Phai wasn't surprised that a week and a half later Cassy would be back to his same old self. But the green eyed boy knew Phai would feel more comfortable if he acted like the normal douche that he was instead of pitying him about the confession Phai had accidentally let release due to anger. And Phai knew this was Cassy's way of trying to make them both forget and he appreciated it. But now they had bigger issues.

They saw Alex walking down the hall. He looked de-saturated, not there, his mind distorted. Not paying much attention to anything and Phai was surprised to see him. They all were.

The blonde accidentally ran into some jock boys and they just pushed passed him calling him a freak. Alex just accepted it and kept walking. He was on his way somewhere but they knew it wasn't a class.

"I didn't even know he was coming to school today." Phai said. Every time he saw Alex his body would buzz in excitement. His mind would become absent. It didn't matter if Alex was in a strange mood or not, it didn't matter that he lived next door and they see each other everyday, their was always something there, but his day now seemed to be lacking any kind of amusement.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Cassy finally asked after they watched Alex disappear down the crowded hall.

Phai leaned against the wall, his mood suddenly slipping along with his body as he slid to the floor and sat. "No." He moped.

Cassy sighed. "I think he's sick. I saw him cough up blood the other day. I acted like I didn't see it."

Phai looked at Cassy but didn't say anything about it.

"Look, if it makes you feel better, you're being strong about this. You know that?" Cassy continued, dropping the 'Alex being sick' accusation.

"How. I'm fucking whining. I'm getting sick of myself." Phai admitted.

"It would have to take a strong person to be in love with Alex."

Phai smiled at the compliment. And it came genuinely. He looked up at the green- eyed boy. "Thanks Cassy."

_Cassy was right, loving me was a fucking hassle. It's like dancing through a deadly storm. Phai's the dancer and I'm the storm. But he loved me that much to be around for any issue I had at the time. He was the only one capable of dealing with my madness. _

_Phai's always been my superstar. But man does he become so much more. With a smile on my face he becomes my shooting star across a sunlit sky. _

"I can talk to him if you want me too." Cassy offered, not minding it. "The worst that would happen is us fighting again."

Phai chuckled and shook his head not willing to risk that. "Thanks but I think he needs time. Seriously though, thank you for trying."

"I told you I can be nice." Then Cassy pushed off the wall he was leaning against and walked away.

Phai looked up at the big clock on the wall above the high school doors. The halls were rapidly clearing out, everyone making it to their first class. But for now he would just sit there, in no hurry to learn.

* * *

><p>He headed to the men's bathroom, not because he had to take some kind of piss, he just wanted to try to smoke another cigarette before going to class. And they had windows in the bathroom where he could get away with it.<p>

Then he saw Roxanne waiting for him by the door, looking at her nails. She had a short jean skirt on and a low cut red blouse exposing her belly button. She was obviously there for him. Afterall prom was coming around.

"Hi Cassy. I see your face is getting better. Just make sure it's healed before you ask me to prom okay."

The sandy haired teen just scoffed and leaned against the wall beside her. "How did you know I would be here? Stalking much? I'm not sure whether I should be flattered that you'd come to pay me a visit." His voice floated with arrogance.

"Cassy the entire school knows you take smoking breaks in the bathroom."

"How can I put this nicely, I'm not taking you Roxanne. I don't find you attractive and I'm definitely too good to be seen around you." he smiled widely at her. "So…fuck off."

"Oh yea," she didn't seem offended in any way, shape or form. "Who are you going with?" She asked with a patronizing grin.

"I haven't decided but I have a while to figure it out." he answered.

"No ones going to want to go with you Cassy. You're a jerk to just about all the girls here and I might have told them that you have a sexual transmitted disease. You're the last man on their list I'm afraid."

She gave back a snappy snicker.

"So let me get this straight, you want to go to prom with a man who has a std? Roxanne you dog." He answered with sarcasm.

The dark skinned girl just shrugged. "I don't judge. Often."

"If you don't mind me saying, you're really going out of your way to make Alex jealous. But I have news for you, he's not going." He whispered by her ear. Then smirked, a small laugh being evident.

"He will. Phai goes, he'll go." She countered his grin with a confident one.

"Phai's not going either." Cassy shrugged smiling in a way that suggested he knew why. "Sucks for you."

"Trust me, Phai will be there. His best friend is Tolem for goodness sake. All curly fries has to do is beg Phai to go."

"I'm not going with you. Don't make me say it again."

They stared at each other, defiantly.

"I guess the word around school speaks for itself."

Cassy then stopped himself from entering through the door and glared at the girl. "You told everyone I asked you to prom?"

"No. I might have told them something else. Look Cassy, I turned down so many guys just to go with you. So make an effort. You're popular, I'm popular. And I can't see it going any other way. Besides only a bitch would dance with another bitch."

Cassy was silent. Roxanne grinned. "That's better. By the way my father has a business meeting to attend to tonight so I will be home alone. You should come over." She patted his cheek. "Enjoy your smoke." Then she winked and strutted off.

Cassy mumbled the word 'bitch' under his breath as he irritably entered the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Alex walked inside of the coach's office and took a seat. "You wanted to see me sir."<p>

"Alex it's good to have you back on the team." The coach leaned up straight pushing paper work aside.

"I'm sure you didn't call me here to tell me how much you missed me." The blonde smirked roguishly.

The coach sighed. "Obviously we need to discuss a few things. We kinda left things unfinished a couple of weeks ago. But first how are you feeling?" He asked humbly.

The teen nodded. "I'm feeling fine." It was an identifiable lie. It seemed like nothing could ward away his stresses anymore.

The coach nodded back. "Good. Do you know what this is about?"

"My behavior, I can assume." Alex answered, his eyes composing itself.

"The principal and I noticed that you haven't exactly been yourself lately and it's getting to the point where we should be concerned. Is there something going on that we need to know about?"

The blonde sat back. "Other than being alive for a torturous number of years, nothing I can think of."

He was hoping to speak to Alex minus the frustration and attitude but the teen had just become a force lately. "The principal wanted me to discuss your grades. You've used to be an A student, and now your grades are slipping quite rapidly. You haven't been showing up to your classes. When one of my brightest are slipping this fast on the team, I can't help but jot down my concerns. Cassy we can justify for because he's always been a slacker but we know you have it in you to do your best. But we care and we want to help in the best way that we can but we can't do that if you don't let us know what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on. I just don't care anymore." He was blunt about it which shocked the man sitting across from him.

"Any particular reason why you've just decided to give up."

"Yea there is. I'm sick of trying. Giving up is much easier." The teen shrugged.

"I must say I'm disappointed to hear you say that. I was hoping you'd be a graduate this year. I don't see the logic in purposely failing."

"I can't change the way I feel." Alex responded.

"What are you feeling Alex?" The coach asked, trying his hardest to get through to him.

"Something you can't repair." Alex stood from his seat.

The coach sighed again. "Well, Alex, I strongly advise you rethink your attitude about this."

"I'll see if I can make time for that." The blonde answered then left.

* * *

><p>Phai walked into the bathroom during last period and stopped when he saw Cassy sitting on the counter, laid back smoking a cigarette still.<p>

"How many breaks have you taken?" The brunette asked. He hadn't seen Cassy in any of the classes and the day was almost over.

"This is my first one still." Cassy answered. He seemed in a pissed off mood and Phai caught on to that.

He looked at all the cigarettes Cassy had gone through just piled up on the counter by the sink. "I have one word for you. Gross."

Cassy glared at him and Phai just smiled innocently. "What are you doing in here?"

The disturbed teen asked like Phai wasn't welcome in a public school bathroom.

"I need to pee. That's what a bathroom is for. It's not for whatever you got going on."

"Whatever." Cassy tossed his cigarette into the sink kicking the handle of it with his boot, sending the water on to put it out. Then he gave off the impression he was bored. as he exhaled lazily but having ran into the queen bitch of the school that morning had put him in a bad mood.

Phai sighed and walked up to him reluctant whether he should be nice or not. He dismissed the reason why he was there in the first place and hopped on the counter and sat with Cassy. He figured he had time until practice started. "What's wrong?"

"Why do you care?" Cassy snapped.

"Why are you being a bitch?" Phai asked. "This morning you were being nice to me. Is their something about the late afternoons I don't know about?"

"Because…." Cassy answered almost like it was for himself.

"Good answer." Phai answered sarcastically.

"Sorry." Cassy apologized. "I would tell you but you wouldn't understand."

"Is this about the STD you have?"

"Fuck you." Cassy threw his cell phone at the brunette who found it hilarious by the way.

"I heard the girls talking. Sorry I shouldn't be laughing." Phai giggled playfully.

"Yea because its not true." Cassy growled as he looked angrily away from Phai.

Then they turned their heads hearing someone come through the door. It was Alex. They were just looking at him, with looks thinking he had better have a good explanation why he was ignoring them. But Alex wasn't interested in their stern glares. "Cassy do me a favor, I won't be around for practice and if the coach asks where I'm at tell him I quit the team."

"Uh, I could do that for you."

"That would be great, thanks. Phai I need you to grab your things and meet me by the car." Alex then left again, with no explanation whatsoever.

Phai had a confused look on his face.

Cassy did too. He looked at Phai and Phai at him. Both with questioning eyes. More like what the fuck.

"Okay that was weird." Cassy admitted. "That is serial killer weird. I wouldn't go with him if I were you."

"Why not?" Phai asked like he almost took that as a possibility.

"Let's ponder this for a second. Alex killed someone that's why he's wants you to meet him by the car. He's trying to skip town."

Phai looked at him like that was the most ridiculous reason ever but he knew Cassy was trying to be a dickhead about it anyway. "Really?"

"He could be on his period too?"

Phai just glared at him and the green eyes smirked. The next thing he knew the brunette jumped off the counter and left the bathroom.

Phai left to go find Alex. He wasn't going to put up with this shit. He knew what Alex was going through but Alex wasn't making things better by acting strange and ditching school. Oh and randomly quitting the football team.

When he came out to the parking lot, Alex was just sitting on the hood of his car staring up at the sky.

Phai walked over to him looking kinda pissed. "Alex?" he couldn't hide the worrisome his tone held or the frustration.

The blonde looked over at him kinda expecting him not that soon. Then he took out his keys from the pocket of his grey hoodie he was wearing despite it being over 80 degrees outside. "You ready?"

But Phai didn't know what was happening with the blonde and it was scaring the shit out of him.

"Stop ignoring everybody. If something is wrong you need to use your words."

Alex wasn't expecting to be yelled at but he stayed put listening to what Phai needed to get off his chest.

"There's something else you're not telling me. You're like the only person I know who can make someone feel special one day and just like that, in no time at all, make them feel like shit. I thought I did something wrong Alex."

"You did nothing wrong Phai. How could you when you're perfect." The blonde answered warmly, his once distracted eyes now becoming focused on the flawlessness of his blue eyed friend. He slid off the car and came up to Phai. Then he hugged him affectionately running his hand through Phai's hair. "I'm sorry."

"You're doing it again." Phai pushed him back. "Please stop acting weird around me. When you act like this I know something is wrong. I don't know what you're going through, and if I could take your pain away and keep it for myself I would. I need you to talk to me about it. I'm even okay if you don't talk to me, but talk to someone. It can be Roxanne for all I give a shit. Fucking talk to your car if it makes you feel better. Just talk. Say something." Phai became aware at how fast his heart was racing and how dry his mouth was. And he frowned as he analyzed the calmness of the blonde as an unfazed smile formed on his face.

"I'm sorry Phai." He said soothingly. "Let's start all over."

Phai sighed with his hands on his hips. Something shifted in his face but it was gone after a moment. He nodded. "Okay." The words barely sounded and he took a deep breath.

Alex always had to start conversations over whenever Phai was upset about something, because he knew it would help him relax. It made him feel better.

He always knew how to calm down his Phai. And Phai always knew how to calm down his Alex.

The blonde gave him a reassuring look before he began to speak. "Hi Phai."

"Hi Alex." Phai felt ridiculous but it helped.

"You look wonderful today." The blonde complimented.

"Thanks. You do too." Then all of a sudden the conversation became natural, like Phai's moment of outburst never happened.

Alex laughed lightly as he licked over his lips. "I have something to show you. I need you to come with me."

Phai just sighed and walked towards the passenger side of the car.

_And then we left. The atmosphere around the school felt suffocating and I needed to take us away. Without instructions. _

* * *

><p>Tolem looked at his watch confirming that Phai and Alex weren't at practice.<p>

"Phai is usually the first one here." Perdicas proclaimed.

Leon looked at Tolem suggestively. "You should call him."

Tolem sighed in annoyance and took out his phone calling Phai. He waited until he answered. "Yea." He got a response.

"Where are you Phai?" Tolem asked bitterly like them not being there was the end of the world. For the coach maybe. For them, not so much.

"With Alex."

"Doing what?"

"He's taking me somewhere."

"School isn't even done yet Phai. Put Alex on the phone."

Phai sighed and handed Alex the phone. "You're getting me in trouble Alex."

"What Tol's?" The blonde ignored Phai's fussing and answered, with a rebellious smile on his face as he took Phai further and further away from the school. The windows were rolled down and he looked happy. It kinda gave Phai the feeling of being kidnapped.

"What are you doing with Phai?"

"I'm taking him somewhere."

"Where?"

"Somewhere."

'THAT DOESNT HELP ALEX!" Tolem yelled.

"That would be nice to know where we're going." Phai mumbled.

"Be quiet Phai." Alex quickly said before taking his attention back to Tolem. "Look Tol's I'm taking him somewhere important. So just tell the coach Phai went home sick and I took him."

"Alex this was your first day back on the team. The coach is never going to forgive you. What about your scholarships?"

"Tol's everything is going to end up just fine." Tolem couldn't help but believe that. Alex always had a way to make things sound so promising.

"Hey Cassy said you killed someone. If I'm gonna die I need to know where." Phai shook Alex's shoulder.

Alex took the phone away from his mouth. "You'll know when we get there Phai."

"How long of a drive?" The brunette asked.

"Its far, just be quiet." Alex answered.

"How far?" Phai asked again.

"Far." The blonde replied.

"Like almost out of state far?" Phai asked another time.

"No, like three hours far."

"Stop fucking making shit so difficult." Phai snatched back the phone. "Tolem are you still there."

"Yea I'm still here, where's he taking you?" The curled haired teen sounded worried.

"He said far. He's not really giving me any answers."

"Like out of state?"

"I don't know, would a three hour drive take us out of state if we're heading west from school?"

"No we're in center state. It should take like 7 hours. Hold on give me a second."

"Hurry up Tol's!" Crater was rushing.

"Yea we don't got all day." Phil joined.

"Shut up, I'll be right there!"

Tolem started searching through the google maps app on his phone. Cassy snickered and reached over Tolem's shoulder taking the phone from him. "Hey Phai."

Phai rolled his eyes. "What Cassy?"

"How many dead bodies does Alex have in the back of his car? He's a speed demon so make sure he doesn't get pulled over."

Alex heard that and grabbed the phone. "Bye Cassy." Then he hung up and handed it back to Phai.

"Alex?"

"Phai."

"You don't have dead bodies in the back of your car would you?"

Alex just grinned, thinking that question didn't even deserve a reply.

"Seriously, where are we going?" Phai asked yet another question.

"I'm not turning around. You can keep whining if you want." Alex told him strictly. "I'm afraid you are stuck with me for the rest of the night."

"Then why can't you just tell me where we're going. What if I have an emergency back at home, or I have to baby-sit Callista."

"Isn't she old enough to watch herself now?"

"Alex tell me where we're going right now!" Phai demanded.

_Phai hated surprises. He hated not knowing. He wasn't like me where I could just jump into the unknown and go along with what ever happened. He was a planner. And what he doesn't know scares him. _

_I was surprised that he left to find me. Not knowing where I was. Not knowing if I was dead or alive. But I guess we all have to face our fears someday._

At a stop sign, Alex leaned over quickly and kissed Phai's cheek. And spoke with a trusting whisper._ "_Sit still and stop yelling, stop asking questions. It's going to be a long drive."

Phai folded his arms and sat back like a child put on punishment. "Fine."

Then Alex re-buckled his seat belt and stepped on the gas when the light turned green. Phai was just thinking about earlier. How fast the tables have turned. How he was whining earlier that Alex wasn't talking to anyone and now he was stuck with him for God knows how long.

"Go to sleep or something. Here listen to some music." Alex turned on his radio to some country music, completely forgetting how big of a music snob Phai was.

Phai cringed. His teeth gritted in disgust. "I'm not going to be stuck in a car with a pyshco listening to country music. Not happening." He said disapprovingly.

"Fine." Then Alex turned it to a station he knew Phai would enjoy. "Is that better?"

The brunette nodded then settled with a smile. Now in all honestly he didn't care where Alex was taking him. He was just glad to be with him. If it was forever, that would be even better.

* * *

><p>It was a long drive. They drove through blue sky and through sunset and the night sky was suddenly making an appearance.<p>

Alex was focused on the road ahead and Phai was laying in the seat facing him, just staring at Alex the entire ride, something about the blonde captivating him. He stopped the guessing game soon after he figured it was pointless.

"Alex?" he spoke softly.

"Yea." The blonde kept his eyes ahead.

"What is this really about?"

The blonde smiled, but it quickly saddened. "I just…" He blinked, his hand getting tighter around the steering wheel. "I just want to give you everything you want."

"Before?" Phai asked.

"Before something goes wrong."

"Is something going to happen that I don't know about?"

Alex nodded. "Yea. I think so... My minds been somewhere and I don't like where it's it at right now." The blondes eyes somehow gave nothing away.

_My minds been busy. Busy on how I'm going to have to let Phai go. And I wanted to tell him now, just to get it done with, but I couldn't find the strength. _

Phai just nodded and leaned his head back against the seat not questioning Alex any further about the thoughts racing in his head. He figured he would find out sooner or later and he finally slept knowing they had longer to go. This was just one of those rare days where he felt he didn't understand Alex at all. Like he became mysterious overnight.

They drove by palm trees, towns, deserts, gas stations, hotels and the ride was almost like a road trip. At first it felt like a road trip to nowhere but Alex finally reached the destination. He parked the car and turned to look at his sleeping Phai.

"Phai." He woke him up by shaking him carefully.

The brunette opened his eyes. He yawned and leaned up in his seat. "Where are we?" He asked his eyes somewhat still trying to fall shut as he wiped drool from the side of his mouth.

"Come find out." Alex got out of the car and went to go open Phai's door. He found it adorable that Phai was highly unstable after waking up and helped his sleepy friend out and once Phai felt the fresh air, he immediately woke up. The breeze was warm and the air was clean. They were at the beach and there was a pause before Phai gracefully smiled. "You took me all the way from school to bring me to the beach that's almost four hours away?"

"This isn't what I want to show you." Alex responded as he slowly covered Phai's eyes with a bandanna not trusting him to not peek without it and Phai giggled at that. Then he felt his hands being taken into soft ones as the blonde now slowly guided him through the sandy beach.

"Are you ready for this?"

Phai nodded. He had trusted Alex this far and allowed him to gently take him to wherever it was that he was taking him.

Alex felt Phai lace tighter his fingers with his when Alex had them stop. "Its okay Phai, we're here."

The brunette slowly let go and Alex began to untie the cloth around his eyes. Phai couldn't wait to see what Alex wanted to show him. He was smiling like an idiot.

"Keep those eyes closed for me." Alex whispered against his ear as Phai kept his eyes closed feeling the band loosen away from his face.

"Can I open them now?" He asked in a childish excitement.

"Yea." Alex stepped aside. This moment wasn't for him. "It's all for you."

Phai opened his eyes as fast as he could and his smile soon faded. It sunk into an astounded silent gasp. He was already speechless, but he wasn't expecting this. His breath was taken from him and his face paled and his eyes glowed at the slim light of the full moon sitting right above the ocean waves.

The night was perfect darkness and Alex followed him along the wooden board walk along the beachside as the blue eyes took a closer look. And as if it just hit him, the brunette covered his mouth in pure awe of the sight before him as the inviting shine of the moon, the blended colors of orange and blue in the cloudy sky and the crashing sound of the waves pulled him in.

_There are not many people who would expect or accept something like this as a surprise, as a gift. But Phai loved the moon. Phai loved the stars. He loved the clouds and the sky. _

_He loved me. _

"I know you like the moon. I've been coming here almost every night. It keeps me occupied. So I found this spot where you can see the moon up close and personal. It reminded me of you so I had to show you."

"How did you know? I never told you." Phai's eyes held on to the heavenly sight casted above them.

"I would do anything for you Phai."

_/_

_The prince and his friend run down the palace walls. They exit the kingdom and take their high spirited smiles into the dark woods of Pella. _

_**Come quick Hephaistion! **_

_The small future general reaches his prince. He helps his blue eyed friend up on a log by a small stream. __**Look! And it's all for you. _**Isn't it a thing of beauty?**_**_

_The young brunette smiles openly. Amazed._

_**That's how much you mean to me Phai. **__The prince extended his arms out as far as he could pointing at the yellow circle. __**You're my moon. And Aphrodite is jealous because her beauty doesn't even compare. One day I'm going to steal it from the sky and its going to be yours forever. **The prince kisses__ with sweetness and innocence his friend on the cheek. **Anything for you, Hephaistion.** _

_\_

Phai shivered a bit when he felt the body of Alex come up beside him. He looked away from the moon that had captivated him for awhile and looked into the pureness of the blondes eyes and smiled when Alex ran his thumb along his cheek searching his face. "I would do anything for you Phai."

_This is it. It starts now. Everything. _

* * *

><p>Cassy knocked lightly and kinda just walked away a bit from the door. He was struggling to figure out what the hell he was about to do.<p>

He quickly took out a cigarette trying to light it with a spent lighter. What the hell was he doing here? He thought to himself and realizing the thing wasn't lighting for him he hurled it to the ground and searched for a better one. He found it, it worked and he lit it up, taking the first inhale, he was visibly relieved.

He wasn't expecting anyone else to answer but her, but he wasn't expecting her to answer in a skimpy outfit, garters and stilettos and it only reminded himself of the bad he was about to do. He stared at her body as he smoked his cigarette and her goddess red lips smirked up at him. It wasn't a surprise that the dress she wore was just as red. It was short, with a slit on the side, exposing the thickness of her thigh.

"Well are you going to come in?" she asked with a flirtatious arch in her brow.

Cassy nodded just barely, nervous and just continued to smoke his new cigarette.

"You can finish it inside the house." She threw a condom packet at his chest, turned, slipping her model like body away from the door, loving that she had that affect on not only him but men in general. Accept for Alex. He seemed to be the only one who didn't want her and that was beginning to become a problem for her.

"Fuck." The teen outside the door muttered under his breath, throwing his cigarette aside and walked inside of her luxurious home. He closed the door slowly behind him and she could tell that he was hesitant. She also knew that Cassy wanted it as much as the next guy. It was the only way he could feel like a man. Like a human being. He had nobody to love so why not be around someone with a similar heart.

He shut his eyes knowing this was a bad mistake. They were both jealous figures and it was making him do wrong. It made him feel wrong. But that was the power of envy and love and happiness didn't seem to exist in his world, especially with the she devil standing behind him, seductively removing his favorite jacket.

_The men loved her, the women wanted to be her and Phai hated her. I hated her. _

_She was beautiful, she was feared and her forms of attack were based on vile instincts. I mentioned already she reminded me of my own mother. But my mother had a heart. Probably the biggest heart a mother could ever have despite her wrongdoings. Roxanne, I wouldn't be surprised if she ripped out her own. _

She spoke sexually against the nape of his neck. "Are you worried about what's going to happen tonight?"

"No." Cassy answered defensively.

He didn't want to be there but it felt like it was the only place he was welcomed.

She lifted slowly his dark blue t-shirt. He stiffened at the touch of her bad encouraged hands rubbing up his side. "You want this." She stated in a hiss. "Don't act like a virgin."

And as if something sent him off, he turned around and took her by her neck. "Alex had the right idea. He should have just choked you to death."

She grinned, not minding the hand around her neck. She knew Cassy didn't have an outlandish temper like Alex. His was more withdrawn. But he was dangerous. Very. He even had the potential to be as evil. But he wasn't going to stoop to her level just yet.

"I long for you in ways. In more ways than I do Alex."

Cassy just glared at her. And she removed her dress, letting the silk ride off of her promiscuous body. The green eyes finally made a move. Cassy let his hand loose from her throat and let his fingers slide from her soft shoulder to her breasts. Then down her flat abdomen.

He closed his eyes and released a breath, not believing that he was this weak to fall for any sort of passionate assault especially from Roxanne, Alex's ex and the girl he claimed to despise more than anything. He paused in his seduction, fighting his feelings for Phai. Fighting his friendship with Alex. But the more he thought about it, thought about them together, it became easier to fuck Roxanne.

She took his hands gently and held them up to her smooth breasts and they locked eyes, the evil in their souls connecting. "Fuck me." She arched her body into his, as she sinfully pleaded.

Then Cassy kissed her, his lips demanding her attention. Something he thought he would never do. She smirked against his mouth as she kissed the green eyed teen back.

xxxxxx

Phai leaned back against the blanket. Alex's lips only inches from his as the blonde kissed them with a passion. A passion that seemed like it could only exist in the movies. In a fantasy world.

xxxxxx

His hand desperately slipped away from her breast and reached to finger her clit. Roxanne moaned heavily and as his breath hit the skin of her neck she threw her head back, laughing a lustful, evil chuckle. Her red nails digging in the athletic arms of the green eyed man.

xxxxxx

The blonde slowly pressed one finger into Phai's tight hole and the brunette silently whimpered, longing for the blonde in ways he's never felt before. And Alex knew after all of this was over, he would never be able to desire another.

xxxxxx

As he stroked her harder and faster, she trembled at his fingers and pressed her waist to his. Cassy slid his fingers down her inner thighs and she spread them for him. Then he got to his knees. She bit her lip, as she ran her fingers through his hair while he penetrated her sensitized cunt with his tongue.

xxxxxx

Phai couldn't believe he could crave Alex anymore, as the blonde slammed into his body, both of their breathing intact, getting heavier and faster. There was question whether they belonged together or not, but right now despite their destiny, Alex felt like his soul didn't even belong to him anymore, and that this heat, this desire, this love was all for the man beneath him. It was about Phai. It was always about him. And it sucked that he was painfully aware of what was going to happen next.

xxxxxx

Roxanne allowed her back to hit the couch, pulling Cassy's hard frame on top of her. She quickly undid his jeans and pulled out his cock. He put more weight on her, holding her down as he positioned between her legs. And they stared at each other with a fierce intensity. He kissed her again and they both moaned into each others mouths. The feeling wasn't love. Or mutual. It wasn't even lust. He held no love for Roxanne and she hated him even more. It was just two evil humans drugged in a vengeful delight.

xxxxxx

The blue eyes had tears falling down the side of his face. He was also aware that Alex wasn't going to be around forever. And Phai just needed to be in his arms and Alex having known Phai's needs for longer than he could think of, pinned Phai to his chest locking him into an embrace only he knew of.

xxxxxx

The dark skinned girl moaned even more when he felt Cassy's cock filling her and just then, when he reached the breaking point, he thought about his own sanity as the evil girl squirmed in obvious pleasure beneath him.

xxxxxx

Alex was sucking Phai's neck, claiming the beautiful skin with his tongue and the brunette shut his eyes off from the beautiful ocean, moon and stars, as he allowed Alex to brand him his own.

The brunette began to ache, his skin burning for more of Alex's touch. And Alex wasn't afraid to give it his all and Phai wasn't afraid to be pushed against his limits as he felt the thick cock inside him forcing through his tightness. The blonde had a weird way of being animalistic and gentle as can be, which made the sensation and penetration more engaging. The blonde smiled beautifully against the ear of his lover, recalling moments when the king and his general would sneak away from important duties for something like this. Irresponsible? Yes. Did he care? No.

It felt like their last time, and Alex was finding it harder to let him go, his arms staying constricted around his lover and Phai covering Alex's face with as many kisses as possible wasn't going to allow it.

xxxxxx

Cassy thrust and pummeled inside of the wet girl harder as he cast his shadow over her dark skin. She was moaning, just like he wanted; like she was going to erupt any minute and he wondered what she felt. What she was thinking about. What caused her to be so wicked? Why would she go out of the way just to hurt Alex? He blinked. He wondered why he would go out of his way to hurt Alex and then everything became clear. Together, they were too much evil. And like his thoughts didn't matter, he continued to fuck his friends ex girlfriend, feeling his own length pulsing inside of her. Feeling hatred towards his self.

xxxxxx

When Phai had met his powerful consuming climax, he could finally hear the waves of the ocean over his faded moans. He opened his eyes to a world of darkness and a world of light. The moon was shining as loud as it could, but nothing was brighter than the face of the blonde looking down at him.

_And the words still echo through my head as his breathing became slower. "I don't want this to be the end."_

_I often forget I'm running from the one person I love most in this world. But escaping Phai's love was like taking a bullet to the head and I have to ask, when?_

_When will my final day of liberty be here? Because all time is doing now is running against me. That's all I have. That's what's left of me._

* * *

><p>Phillip came knocking on his neighbor's door, loud and repeatedly. Then he backed away from the door impatiently pacing, mumbling something under his intoxicated covered breath.<p>

Amyntor rubbed his eyes dragging his way on over, wondering about the time of night and opened it up. The first thing he noticed was that Phillip was belligerently drunk and particularly angry. He could tell because the man seemed very unstable on his feet.

"Where is my son?" Phillip asked almost threateningly. "Where is he?"

Amyntor was very surprised to see him at the house this late. He was surprised to see him at the house period. "He's not here Phillip. What can I do for you at this hour?" He asked with a building displeasure.

"Is your boy out sucking him off somewhere?!" Phillip exclaimed.

"You had better get the fuck off my property Phillip." Amyntor insisted angrily. "Don't insult my son."

He was even angrier that Phillip didn't seem to have a problem starting a confrontation this late about their sons as if people weren't in their fucking beds trying to sleep.

"You caused this. You stay away from Alex, you here me. Keep your family away from him!" Phillip flung his arm at him, his drunken way of getting his point across.

Amyntor closed the front door and stepped fully outside, pushing Phillip back. It was late, Callista was in bed and his wife was upstairs trying to sleep before she had to wake up in two hours to head back to work. He did not have time for this, but ignoring it wouldn't make the problem go away.

"Phillip, you need to calm the hell down, do you hear me? You will not come near my home acting crazy."

"I just want to know where he is. He's been spending too much of his time with you. And your boy. He should be home now." Phillip stumbled a bit.

"Phai and your son are out. They are old enough to be out this late. Let them be. Alex will return home when they are finished with whatever they have planned. I promise you, your son is fine." Amyntor replied still shocked that it was this late and his neighbor, a grown man, was acting like a child. If he had came to the house earlier it wouldn't have been such a problem but it was fucking two in morning.

Phillip grimaced. He stayed persistent despite almost slipping on the front door step as he backed away. "Didn't I tell you to keep your son away from mine? You know what they are doing is sick. You should be ashamed."

"Get off my property Phillip. I will not warn you another time."

The older man just belted out a scoffing laugh. "It's not standard and you know it!"

"What is standard Phillip? Please run that by me." Amyntor folded his arms.

"A wife. Kids. A husband to take care of them. A family." Phillip muttered gruffly with a sharp scowl.

"And where's your wife at. Who is taking care of her? Don't talk to me about standards of any kind, you don't have any." Amyntor pointed out. "Now what you need to do is go back home, you're drunk as shit. We'll continue this conversation another time but not tonight, not near my family." The tall man turned his back on Phillip and walked back towards the door of his house.

"You will return my son back to me!" The drunken man yelled.

"I don't have time for this. Goodnight Phillip."

Amyntor entered back inside of his home and locked the door. He turned around and saw his wife standing at the top of the stairs. "What's wrong honey? Who is outside?"

"It's the fucking neighbor. He's drunk."

"Well is everything okay, should we call the police?" She had a worried expression.

"It's not necessary, I got rid of him. Everything is fine, go on back to bed." He answered calmly trying to make everything seem better.

"Okay." She went back to her room and once he heard the door close, Amyntor peeked out the window making sure that Phillip wasn't still outside of his home and good thing that he wasn't.

"Fucking asshole."

It was surprising that he made it back to his house as unstable as he was. He was pacing around his home, chugging the rest of the liquor from the bottle he last drank from. He kept looking at his time, too hammered to even figure it out but forced himself to stay up, waiting for his son to arrive.

He had tried plenty of times already, but he called Alex's cell again, and of course Alex didn't answer and Phillip cursed out loud.

Thinking Alex was personally ignoring his phone calls which wouldn't surprise him, he called his ex wife's phone. "Pick up woman!" he yelled into the speaker.

He felt like the ringing lasted an entire life span before she eventually picked up. It only rang three times; it was just that his patience was running thin and paranoia was beginning to kick in.

_"I'm surprised I still have your number. What is it that you want?"_

He could hear that she was working on something, from the loud sound of the copy machine running in the back.

"We need to talk." He cleared his throat, trying to sound relaxed so that she couldn't tell that he had been drinking but it's never fooled her. "It's about your son and the shit he's been doing."

Phillip rubbed his face, feeling his body temperature rising.

"Phillip, you would be the primary parent at this time. Figure out how to deal with it. Also I am very busy at the moment and it's late." Olympias gathered the paper and the copies.

"Don't you dare hang up on me? We need to talk woman! About Alex. About your son! We need to talk. Now!"

She rolled her eyes hearing Phillip slurring and repeating himself on the other line. "Are you drunk?" she asked as she slammed the papers on her desk and sat.

"What does that matter if I am or not?" He answered like it was none of her business.

"Of course you're drunk. You're always drunk. I don't think an attempt on having a decent conversation with a drunken man is considerable at the moment. I'm hanging up now."

"Your son is a faggot." He blurted. "He likes to suck dick. He likes giving it to boys up the ass. How's that for news?"

"Phillip what the hell are you raging about!?" She stood up and walked to her room window not believing the words that just came from his mouth. She was angered and amazed that Phillip would even insult their son like that.

"Your son." Phillip chuckles after catching himself slur a bit. "He's gay. He likes boys. He's a fucking queer…What did I do wrong huh? Tell me what I did wrong!" He yelled, and then frantically started to laugh. He didn't notice how silent she had turned on the other end of the phone but he continued his mad outburst. "He hates us. He's doing this to get back at us." He started to roam to another room, on the verge of losing stability and passing out. "He's no longer my son. Take him back."

Phillip didn't even manage to hang up and dropped his phone instead and just made a mental note that he would get it in the morning.

Olympias on the other hand sat at the edge of her bed like her heart had just stopped within her chest. She slowly hit the end button on her phone. She couldn't tell whether she was deep in thought or just in shock. She didn't know. She also didn't want to believe it. But what other reason would there be for Phillip to act up like that, if it wasn't true. Then she thought about calling her son to confirm whether it was true or not but it scared her to discover the truth and she decided against it.

The dark haired woman stood and cleared her throat, trying to force herself to go about this in a calm understanding manner. Which worked for about thirty seconds. And as she walked back over to her working station a knot had formed in her stomach. She obviously wasn't capable of tolerating the news and she convinced herself that there was only one explanation for her son being gay.

"I failed as a mother." She spoke softly to herself, her voice shattering. Then her eyes filled with tears.

* * *

><p>Cassy climbed the tree near his window and snuck into his bedroom. It was late and he tried to be as quiet as possible. Unfortunately his father had already been awake discovering that his teen boy was up to no good.<p>

"Sneaking in and out of my house again? You know you're in deep shit right now?"

Cassy looked up at his father who was standing by the door of the room, the hallway light on behind him and he just smirked. He couldn't remember the last time he's been caught and he couldn't remember the last time he ever took his father seriously. "Maybe I would stay if I felt more welcomed." The disobedient boy threw his jacket on his bed and ran a hand back through his messy hair.

His father turned on the light switch and Cassy sighed when his father stared harshly and disgustingly at the damages done to his face.

"You get in a fight today? I wouldn't be surprised."

"No I ran into a tree, of course I got into a fucking fight. It didn't happen today, it happened a little more than a week ago by the way. Thanks for noticing now."

"Maybe if you weren't sneaking around and home more often not out doing dumb shit I would have noticed. You also know how I feel about you getting into fights. I'm sick of the school calling me about your behavior Cassy. This has got to end." His father demanded strictly.

"Yea, and I'm sick of you pretending to give a fuck!" Cassy shot back.

He gave no hesitation and slapped his son. "Listen to me; I will make those injuries look like you were beaten up by a little girl. Do not say another word." But Cassy wasn't like Alex. If Phillip landed a hand on Alex they would fight, but Cassy never fought back, not out of respect, just because he was better at biting back with words.

"Next time you hit me, I will kill you." Cassy threatened him. Then he walked back towards the window, snatching his jacket from his bed. By the looks of it he wasn't planning on staying the night.

"Don't you dare leave this house?" His father yelled. "You get back here now!"

"Are you going to stop me? Because I think you were enjoying the time better without me to be completely honest." The teen answered sarcastically.

"If you leave now, you're not welcomed back here!" his father yelled again.

The boy turned to his father and grinned. "Then you should probably make sure you lock the doors and nail the windows shut."

He watched his son leave. Then Cassy disappeared from the house and walked down the dark street.

* * *

><p>Phai entered quietly through the front door of his house. He smiled knowing that his dad left it unlocked for him. The difference between his parents and Cassy's was that they trusted him to be out late.<p>

He was tired and thirsty and when he walked towards the kitchen for some water, he saw his father lying on the couch sleeping soundly in the other room with the TV on. It wasn't an unusual thing to find his father sleeping somewhere other than his bed. He seemed to find the couch more comfortable. But he noticed when he walked further into the room, his father's gun, sitting there, on the coffee table next to him and the brunette frowned wondering why his dad would have his gun out and in the open like that so he walked over to the table, picked up the gun and checked to see if it was loaded. And it was which scared him even more.

He didn't want to wake his dad. But if his mother came and saw it out, she would throw a fit and yell at him for being irresponsible, so preventing that from ever happening, Phai picked up the weapon, emptied it, and left upstairs to go put it back in its case.

Then he walked to his room and closed his door.

* * *

><p>Alex walked inside of his home and noticed the house was completely destroyed. He thought less of a robbery and figured his father was probably in a drunken state.<p>

Furniture were knocked over. Everything on the table and in the cabinets winded up on the floor. Broken pieces of glass was scattered and Alex shook his head, like he expected much more from his father. Infact coming into this mess, reminded him of himself as the golden king. It used to scare him when he was a kid but now it was something he had grown accustomed to.

He walked through the broken glass that were once dishes they used to eat and drink with, and noticed his father passed out on the couch in the living room. The TV was on some kind of sex channel and it didn't help that it was on the highest volume setting and that Phillip was snoring even louder.

The blonde sighed, walked inside the room where the TV was blasting, kicked some of the empty beer bottles out of the way and bent quietly by his father. The one bottle Phillip still had tight in his hand was a clear bottle of half drunken vodka. Alex slipped gently the alcohol bottle from his hand. He then went to go trash it. But when he ended up by the trash can, lifting the lid to toss it out, he hesitated.

_I don't want this to be the end. _

Alex walked back over to his dad and looked down at him. He listened closely and heard him talking in his sleep. Alex only made out nonsense.

Then the teenage boy began to speak. "Dad. I can see your future." He chuckled lightly to himself. "Do you want to know what that is? Of course you don't but I'm going to tell you anyway. Drinking. Drinking yourself into some oblivion state because you're a loser. It might not be the death of you but I think you'd be good at that."

_Then the idea sparked. It sparked like fireworks exploding on the fourth of July._

_Drinking. Running. Loser. I'd be good at that._

But instead of dropping it into the trash like he should have, he brought the unfinished bottle to his lips and finished the rest of it. After chugging down the strong vodka he threw the bottle at the TV shattering it along with the rest of the mess and headed up stairs leaving everything as it was.

"Goodnight dad."

He closed his bedroom door.

_'I guess you have to do what you think is best for you. And I have to be strong about it. I just wish you weren't in such a hurry, that's all...__I'm gonna miss you Alex.'_

_I remember these words, his words, the day I let him go. The day that's coming so fast but so slow. I remember them still...And it hurts. _

_It hurts more than you know. _

* * *

><p><em>Extra, extra long chapter for you guys! Sorry for the late update but this time I actually have an excuse! And as always, thank you, thank you for the reviews and hits! And I apologize to Bao Bao for not giving you anything to read last week :( Hopefully this chapter makes up for it.<em>

_-Stranger_


	30. Chapter 30

**Eyes that see into Infinity**

**Part 2**

**Chapter Twenty Nine **

End of part Two

_**/**_

The exhausted drunk who was lounging lazily on the living room sofa, slowly opened one eye as he heard the doorbell ring. Phillip growled as he lifted his arm to check the time. "It better not be any of those goddamn girl scouts." He snorted while yawning, swinging his legs off the couch letting his feet press onto the cold floor. He also had no intention of hurrying himself slowly tying his robe closed.

Amyntor sighed as he continued to wait. He did not look happy which sucked because he was normally a happy guy very well content with some parts of life.

It took about a three minute struggle tripping over alcohol bottles and beer cans before Phillip came swinging open his door. And he definitely could have been more surprised to see who it was. "Oh it's you." He said bringing a coffee mug filled with beer to his lips. "What can I do for you?" He asked with a scrutinizing look in his faded eyes.

"We need to talk." Amyntor spoke, the tone leaving his mouth was level.

"What could you possibly have to say to me this freaking early in the morning?" Phillip knew damn well why the father of Alex's new boy toy was at his front door that early in the morning.

"You coming over to my house last night and insulting not only my son but your own. I can tolerate you being an asshole but when it comes to my son, or any of my kids I will fucking murder you." It was a straight legit threat and Amyntor brought nothing with him but complete seriousness.

Phillip sort of just rolled his eyes and gave him a welcoming grunt. "You're going to have to talk while I get ready. I have errands to run."

"I don't need to come in Phillip; I need you to understand that it was outright offensive what you did last night and next time that happens which I will make sure it won't, I'll shoot you. I will fucking shoot you dead." He emphasized the last threat serenely.

"And this entire time I was thinking you were as guiltless as your boy but I'm finally starting to see the soldier in you." Phillip remarked, took a gulp from his cup, smacked his lips and nodded a respectful hint. "Fair enough. But this shit about our sons being fuck friends isn't going to fly. I don't accept it and neither should you."

Amyntor rolled his eyes when Phillip decided to continue the conversation inside. So he walked into the home with his mannerism remaining conservative. The first thing he did was look around admiring the interior which was just as nice as his own despite the wreck they had going on, like two parties happened in one night.

Then his attention focused back on the hung over man who headed straight towards the kitchen. "You want coffee? Tea? Water?" Phillip offered as he searched his medicine bag for his anti depressants and daily vitamins. "I'm out of juice though. It's probably rotting somewhere in Alex's room. He has a habit of not refrigerating shit."

"No thank you." Amyntor declined respectfully trying to figure out if Phillip was actually this satisfied with the person he turned out to be.

"Suit yourself." Phillip popped four pills in his mouth, chasing it down with the remaining liquid in his mug.

"Drink often?" Amyntor asked not feeling exceptionally polite at the moment.

"All the time." Then he grossly burped. "Oh and don't mind the mess."

"Actually I feel I have stopped by on a lucky day."

"When there aren't empty bottles lying around, there are naked chicks lying around, so yea I think you did stop by on a lucky day. Make yourself at home." Phillip answered smugly as he removed his robe and tossed it on the couch. Amyntor was very relieved he had at least boxers on. That would have been a very disturbing sight. "So you wanna talk, let's talk. I think what our boys are doing is unnatural. I also can't be more frank than that."

"Unnatural? Drinking alcohol on a weekday, out of a coffee mug 7 A.M in the morning is unnatural." Amyntor added in shrewdly.

"It's definitely coffee I'm drinking."

"It's definitely beer I'm smelling."

"So what's your story anyway? Are you also some kind of homo or something?" Phillip lit up his Marlboro thinking they could take time away from the coffee/alcohol disagreement.

Amyntor scoffed dismissively not believing that he was just asked that. He took composure and figured he could have been angrier about Phillip's lack of knowledge of the subject but then he decided what Phillip displayed wasn't ignorance at all. It was complete revulsion. "No."

"You could have had me fooled." Phillip answered back gruffly staring suspiciously at him in between smokes. "So your son told you he likes dick? How did that go?" He asked vulgarly even though he wasn't meaning to be bad-mannered. It's just how he was. He was very dim about the feelings of others and was raised with parents who had foul mouths.

Amyntor glared. "I wouldn't go as far as calling it 'liking dick'. I'm sure we can be more mature about how we ask things."

"Well what would you call that?" Phillip threw up his hands.

Amyntor shook his head. "Never mind that. But yes, I have come to terms with it. It wasn't that I hated the idea of him being gay, I was just unsure mostly. But everything stopped mattering the second I saw him happy. All I want is Phai to be happy. That's it. That's all it's ever been about."

"Well I have some news for you. Alex will not make your son happy." Phillip replied in cynicism. "I'm gonna die young because of that boy. Phai will too."

"You're very closed minded." Amyntor told him casually. He was also shocked that Phillip would think that. He spoke of his son like he was some type of deadly virus.

"I'm okay with that…." Phillip grinned, then went up the stairs to grab some things while he continued to speak his mind. "And if you ask me, you're far to open minded."

"I didn't realize being open-minded could be a terrible thing."

Phillip walked over to the top of the stairs as he pulled over his head a white t shirt. "I want my son to have standards."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Amyntor retorted heavily. He couldn't believe he was even giving this douche bag the time of day.

Phillip rested his hands on the railing of the stairs. "It means that I don't want your son being around or with my son. Alex does not like boys. He's confused at the moment and your son isn't necessarily helping the situation by allowing Alex, who by the way thinks with his dick quite often when he sees something pretty, grope him." Then Phillip took off back into his room to finish changing.

Impatience settled in Phai's father as he waited for him. And a couple minutes later Phillip came back down with a dumb smirk on his face. "I'm glad we could have this talk."

"I can't imagine Alex is the way he is due to his rough upbringing." Amyntor remarked.

"Alex tells you things eh?"

"Yea we talk sometimes. He brings you up quite a bit."

"Whatever the boy told you about me, he's giving you false information. His mind is a wreck. It's always been that way. No doubt his mother has everything to do with his dysfunction."

Amyntor watched as Phillip scattered his way around the house, making a bigger mess while searching for something. "Fuck where is it?!"

"You're son hasn't told me anything I wouldn't have already figured out myself. Also I truly think you perceive your son incorrectly but I'm not here to argue with you about your issues you have with Alex. I'm here telling you to allow our sons to be together if they want to."

"Let me get this straight, you're telling me to allow our sons to have anal sex together whenever they goddamn please? I don't think so."

"I'm definitely not saying that." Amyntor crossed his arms across his chest, heavily sighing as he mentally blamed himself for trying to convince a drunken asshole who enjoyed twisting things out of proportion. But he allowed Phillip to continue because Phillip did deserve to be heard despite his fucked up interpretation he had of their sons.

"Alex makes bad choices. Also I think your son is encouraging him."

"You think Alex just chose to fall in love with my son?"

Phillip chuckled and stopped searching for his wallet for a brief second and faced the taller man. "Let me give you a list of what Alex 'chooses'. He chooses to fail his fucking school assignments. He chooses to disappoint his mother and I. He chooses to get into fights at school. He chooses to go on suspension. He chooses not to sleep and then he disappears to wherever the fuck at night knowing he has school the next morning. He chooses to disrespect me...Oh and he chose to fuck your son in my house." Phillip intentionally reminded. "So let me tell you what I think," Phillip walked up to him as Amyntor shifted looking very upset. "Alex is going through a tough time at school, he's having a tough time with the girls, maybe he couldn't get it up, I don't know exactly what, but my guess he's pressured by his peers, one being your son in particular and he decided he needed to experiment with your son. Hey, it happens. I've done it, I'm sure you have but all it comes down to is it just being a phase. Look, your son is a good looking kid but don't get me wrong I just don't think Alex is serious about him. He'll get over whatever infatuation he has with Phai once I hire female strippers for his next birthday. So in conclusion, so that I can get going, life is about choices and everything we do is a choice."

"Wow." Was Amyntor's only response to all of that and at the same time losing some of the hardness in his face. Phillip found what he was looking for under the cushion of the couch he passed out on waiting for Alex to come home. "And you chose to be homophobic? If you don't accept your son now for who he is, you're going to make him hate you forever. I advise strongly against that."

What does it matter? He hates me anyway." Phillip scoffed but deep down hearing himself say that hurt more than he wanted to admit.

"I doubt that."

Phillip stared at him for a minute with one arm across his chest and the other raised to his beard rubbing it slightly. "Anything else?" He asked flatly.

Amyntor sighed. "Alex and I have talked a couple of times and from what I read of him, he's not confused at all. He may be troubled but he's definitely not confused. He thinks he's confused but he knows exactly what he wants. This is not a matter of him loving my son. It's a matter of him accepting himself. Get over your pride Phillip. Alex knows that he loves you and you know that he loves you. He doesn't know that you love him. Instead of hiring strippers for his birthday, tell him that you love him instead because if you don't tell him some day, you're going to have nobody to love. And it's going to be the worst feeling in the world for you."

"Can't promise you any of that is going to happen." His eyes burned with a passionate stubbornness as he lifted his cigarette to his mouth.

"Remember you said that." Amyntor then turned and left the house.

_**/**_

_**So I had a dream earlier. Want to hear about it? **__The gallant prince comes up to young Hephaistion. _

_**You should keep your dreams to yourself Prince Alexander. **__The older boy glares._

_**I've tried. **__The prince simply replies, his eyes still holding on to his._

_**Try harder. **__The brunette boy suggests in response. _

_**I shouldn't have to. **__The blonde grins._

_**You've only known me for four days. I do not want to hear about your dreams. I'm leaving you know. You're far to condescending for my taste. **__Hephaistion scoffs, his eyes momentarily breaking eye contact with the prince. _

_The prince shrugs__and studies the other boy's behavior towards him as he prepares his comeback. __** I disagree. I would call myself bold before I call myself condescending.**_

_**Well try not to be so bold about your dreams to those you hardly even know. They may not take it to liking. **__The brunette snaps discourteously, the amount of disturbance causing his eyes to darken. _

_**I can't help it. **__The future king answers with a calming pressure influencing his tone of voice. _

_The blue eyes retort heavily. __**And why not?**_

_**It's not possible. And if it were, I would make it so that it wasn't. **_

_**You're a pain.**_

_**And you're quite electrifying. **_

_**You're also intentionally trying to drive me mad. I don't believe as a prince you should be allowed that privilege. **_

_**Well I am intoxicating. That will be your punishment for ignoring me. **_

_**I did no such thing. **__The brunette rages._

_**You speak to all of the boys but me. **_

_The boy speaks abruptly with intent to drop the subject__**. I was nervous.**_

_The blonde's eyebrow rises in interest at the obvious lie__**. Why?**_

_**You're the prince. **__The blue eyed boy answers the question,__his lips moving cunningly. _

_**You seem fine back talking me as if I don't have the authority to have you personally mutilated. I doubt being nervous has anything to do with it.**_

_The brunette sighs deeply, the blue in his eyes becoming more profound.__** Okay I will be honest with you Prince. I didn't like you. I don't like you. **_

_The blonde looks offended__**. You don't like me? You don't even know me. And you say that I'm to bold?**_

_**What can I say? Arrogance and pride just reeked from you. And I wasn't going to give you the pleasure of intimidating me with your lingering eyes. **_

_**I think you mistake intent Hephaistion; I wasn't staring at you purposely trying to intimidate you with my superiority. I was staring at you because I'm fond of you.**_

_The brunette walks away in annoyance. The prince follows. _

_**Why do you insist on following me? **__The young brunette boy asks in slight aggravation as he catches the blonde boy sauntering slowly behind him. He can no longer bite his tongue. He's had enough but the shameless prince stares with eyes so intense it causes him to apply his sight elsewhere. _

_**Because I was always told to follow my dreams…**_

_**\**_

_That was the exact moment I knew I would be the one to suck the life out of him. That was the exact moment he knew he would be the one to squeeze the life out of me. _

_There were plenty of things that I hated about myself, and this night was definitely one of them. __Since Phai and I met, my entire life started to move slowly, like everything was and is happening in unhurried motion. Nothing is moving at normal speed. _

_I've always told myself the more time I had the better. Time didn't matter whenever Phai was around… and I loved it. I felt like a thief, and I took him. I stole him away for myself because I didn't want to let him go. In fact I think everything slowed down just for us so that we would have more time together …But things changed…Just like that. _

The ground, it's wet. Mud fastens to the bottom of his shoes like glue as he makes his way through to nowhere but somewhere.

_I had no idea what my future had in store for me. All I knew was that I was at the start of my breaking point. I was nowhere now. My life, my everything, had maxed out. And I see a future, past and present king left in an empty room. And it didn't matter how many times I have closed and opened my eyes tonight, if everything had stayed the same, we'd still break. _

His olive skin brushes by the mist that has settled between the bundled trees. It feels somewhat good on his sweaty face. He spots very little moonlight, his eyes not willing or caring to adjust to the blinding night but he moves forward, holding on.

_It took forever to get to this specific climax and it's probably going to take even longer to get out of it. Unfortunately I had all the time in the world and being the intolerant life form that I am, I didn't have the patience for it anymore. I thought I was done. I thought I was through. I thought the best way to avoid it or make things move at a faster pace was to run. Just run. Take off somewhere alone with my cold shadow. _

Rain drops are unmerciful as it mocks him, showing him his running reflection inside each and every one of them as they slip off the leaves every time he passes by them. They sparkle like they are trying to tell him something.

_Maybe they are leading me somewhere, I think as I sink deeper into the heart of the green meadow. Maybe they want me to turn back, I thought again. But turning back was not an option. I was determined, even more determined than before, to break out of this frozen moment. If there is another side, I want to touch it. Maybe there awaits a black hole, a place where I'm welcomed. I've tried everything else to get time to fly and nothing so far has worked. So I tried to convince myself that praying would help, praying that time wasn't real, that it was all non existent, irrelevant and that I wasn't ever really here to begin with…and that everything would just fast forward to the end credits. And then my thoughts would finish..._

_But things that are meant to happen do not come to pass by that way. And if I thought time was moving slowly at first, it suddenly stopped completely. _

"Alex!"

The blonde was running as fast as he could. He could hear his father calling after him but he was too fast for the older man. He was already quite a distance ahead but as subdued as his mind was and as loud as his breathing was, he can still hear the worried shouts echoing out for him as he got further and further away.

_It hasn't even been two hours since our breakup and I'm already heartbroken. I have broken and shattered my own heart. Tolem would either laugh back at how incredibly stupid and in love I was or hate me forever. He used to tell me all the time that my heart was big. Bigger than most. It hurts me to know that he would probably be disappointed knowing that he was wrong. _

He's dirty like he's fallen once or twice, his white shirt stained. His black jeans had holes in it with his hair a dead white color. He has cuts and scrapes on his arms like branches and thorns have torn in to his skin as he passed by them trying to get away.

_The king in me reprimands me again and again wanting me to turn back, apologize and make things right. And as great as that advice sounded which I probably would have taken if I was a good listener and didn't sulk so much in my own regrets, I realized that it was too late regardless. I've always been one to punish myself accordingly. I deserved this. The king deserved this. _

His breathing remained heavy and sweltering.

_It was the midnight hour. I wasn't necessarily running to anywhere specific. I just needed it. The other "me" would call that bullshit. He would tell me that I was running from something. But I think I was more like running for the sake of running. Regardless, hardheaded and foolish, I needed to try, and as I ran through the woods behind my home all I could ask myself was why? Why did I do that? Why did I push away the only person I have ever truly loved?_

He tries to stop, yet his legs continue down the way of his everlasting nightmare and take him far away, from his recollections.

_There was only one thing I had learned when I bailed out on Phai's life. That when it came down to understanding the matters of the heart, I've always understoodd wrong and that love was actually just a figment of the imagination. It never once bothered me why we humans didn't come into this world with instructions and now I find myself desperately needing a guidebook on how to live and what to do. But I suppose that would be too easy. And a part of me wants to turn back and hold Phai forever in my arms. The other part wants to forget he ever happened to me. Those are my conflicted hopes and expectations. And both are not possible. And because of it I am no longer in control of my emotions. _

_They are in control of themselves…And I keep on going._

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Three weeks before the prom<strong>_

Cassy was smoking outside at the bleachers, glaring at the sun for being to fucking bright. He knew there was more to his self-conscious stare off with the sun than it just being obnoxiously dramatic, but he wasn't trying to bring back dreadful memories, his thoughts being full of them lately. But they kept on coming, no matter how hard he tried telling himself they were not serious enough to reflect upon. He sighed bitterly at his own predicament. He figured this was another lesson coming around to kick him in the ass again for being such a miserable and spiteful person, but for those who knew him, could count the times karma had bit him and he bit right back. He wasn't one to learn from his mistakes.

He adjusted his solid green eyes back towards the field and watched the team as they trained for their last game of the season. Maybe if he focused on what he was supposed to be focusing on he would stop thinking about what he had done, however shortly after, he realized that something like that couldn't be undone. He was officially the biggest asshole in the universe and could clearly see why he was still single, not to mention his perception of romantic relationships just never applied well, which sunk even lower his emotional depth.

Cassy's glare turned quickly uninterested when he spotted Crater approaching him, knowing the 'get off your ass' speech was going to be the main reason for their soon to be interaction.

"What the fuck man!?" The bigger teen began to lecture harshly and directly.

Cassy sighed with a tiny sneer. "Can I help you with something Crater?" He said reaching towards his Jersey pocket to put his lighter and pack of cigarettes away.

"Yea man, get your ass back on the field, we have shit to do. And what is that?" He pointed to the cigarette freshly burning between Cassy's lips.

"If I'm correct it looks like I'm smoking a cigarette." Cassy replied sarcastically.

"That's your second pack today." Crater stated unhappily.

"Yea, and after this baby, I'm going to smoke my third."

"What's going on? Are you feeling rebellious today or something? Did you start your period again because I could have sworn you just got over your last one." Crater scoffed.

Cassy just stared off angrily. "Smoking feels good. It makes me forget about my disorderly fuck disaster of a life. I enjoy the taste. It seduces my lungs and it feels absolutely fucking incredible. So I'm going to continue to smoke my heart out regardless of your lung cancer speech. Also I don't feel like practicing today. I feel like being boring."

"You're a depressing little fuck." Crater said taking a seat next to him as he sighed heavily.

"Sometimes. I solve it though." Cassy offered his cigarette to him and Crater shrugged and happily took it. He would regret it later but these last few days have been stressful for everyone and maybe one or two…or more puffs wouldn't hurt.

"With what? Anti-depressants?" Crater asked letting the smoke release from his mouth.

"No. I just get over it. I never forget it but I get over it." Cassy started to wonder when and how he started to feel that way. Depressed and angry all the time.

"I guess that's all we can do." Crater shook off his contemplative expression.

Yea. I guess." Cassy sighed.

They were both quiet for a couple of seconds as they handed back and forth the smoke.

"My dad sent me a text this morning. I'm sure he was drunk out of his mind because he never texts me. He asked me why I'm still breathing. At first I thought he was just being a fucking dick bag but then I thought about it too and I'm starting to wonder the same thing. I think it's like a general thing people think about though. They wonder about their purpose and meaning in life and in the end of their days they discover none. No purpose at all."

Crater nodded slowly, deep in thought, with a sudden glare in his eyes. "Do you believe in God?"

Cassy easily shook his head. "Nope."

Then Crater asked another question. "Do you think anyone is truly happy out there right now?"

Cassy chuckled quietly at the seriousness of the question. "I don't think anyone is ever truly happy. We're all kinda just depressed assholes hoping to eat and shit another day. It's life's way of revenge for accidentally creating us."

"Life and its funny sense of humor. It's killing us slowly."

"Dry. Life's humor is dry." Cassy corrected.

"Good talk Cass." Crater nudged him, stood and handed him back the almost done cigarette.

"Anytime." Cassy answered.

Cleitus jumped onto the bleachers after the two boys finished their discouraging conversation. "Guess what bitches, it's looking like I'm finally graduating. So suck my dick!"

"Says who?" Crater was actually shocked. Completely shocked. Cassy didn't even really care.

"The principal called me into his office and told me I have a good chance of graduating. I mean just barely, but still. Come to find out my participation was the only thing killing me so I have to get passed these next couple of weeks with great behavior, and I can't be late and I have to turn shit in on time. So don't go encouraging me boys." He slapped Crater on the back. "I think I'm off to a good start. I haven't rolled any blunts today in the boys bathroom. And I didn't come to school wasted from the night before. Instead I drank but loads of coffee."

"Congratulations. I wish I could be happier for you considering you could have graduated a hundred billion times already but it's almost near impossible to feel any type of enthusiasm." Cassy commented with no excitement for him at all.

The black haired man just huffed. "For your information asshole, I don't need your enthusiasm. I don't regret ditching my classes and not doing shit."

"Well duh, it ended with you banging younger girls and snorting coke off their tits." Cassy tossed his cigarette.

"Good times." The black haired man nodded, reminiscing about it. "But at least now I'm doing better than Alex. He's been slipping bad, making me look good. I should probably thank him for that."

"Did he even show up today?" Crater asked curiously. He didn't know why he was curious. He probably should have remained unsurprised about it like the rest of them.

"Yea, he made appearances here and there. Then he just disappeared. I didn't know someone could be so good at disappearing." Cletius responded.

Cassy just rolled his eyes. "He's just unfocused. They know he's smart and they know he's deliberately screwing up. He's done to good, to far into the season to just suddenly fail. His ass is graduating. Just like the rest of us."

"Hey! You guys think you don't have to work hard like the rest of us?" Tolem shouted out towards them, interrupting their break time or whatever they were not doing. He along with Peridcas, Leon and Phil just gave those at the bleachers dirty looks waiting for them to join them so that they could start, while Phai continued with his pushups and sprints.

"Give us a fucking second. We'll be right there!" Crater yelled over to the boys.

"I won't!" Cleitus yelled also.

Phai came up next to Tolem. "Well, it doesn't look like they're going to be joining us anytime soon. So does that mean I can leave? I really need to shower. I don't even understand the smell that is coming from my body."

"No!" Tolem retorted. "When did we become a bunch of slackers. Cassy thinks he's all cool smoking on the bleachers. Crater just wanted to get out of working hard and Cleiuts is totally distracting them. And is Alex even on the team anymore?...and what the hell are you two doing?" He glared harshly at Leon and Perdicas who decided to take a early break even though they weren't previously hard at work. So they just sat down on the grass.

"We're resting." Perdicas answered. Then pulled out his phone to play some games on it.

"And I need to tan for a little bit." Leon said laying on his back and letting the sun soak in his pale skin. " I have to have good skin for the game."

Tolem shook his head in resentment.

"So..." Phil extended a question he was about to ask.

"What Phil?"

"So can I go take a break also. I haven't eaten since this morning and you know, I'm sort of a diabetic so I should probabaly eat something."

"You are not a fucking diabetic." Phai called him out instantly.

"It didn't' hurt to try I guess. But I seriously didn't eat this morning so I'm gonna go grab like a banana or something. You know to get my energy going for when we actually do something."

Tolem flew up his hands in defeat. "I give up. I'm tired of being the nice guy."

Phai patted him on the back in a pathetic attempt to comfort him. "Well not everyone can be a natural born leader."

"Fuck you Phai."

"Sorry. I'll get back to work."

Cleitus grinned at Tolem's frustration and everyone's lack of dedication. "Tolem really needs to get laid. Thais needs to like give him a really special lap dance or let him touch her titties or something."

"And speaking of tits again, what the fuck does this bitch want?" Crater asked and the second he did, Cassy and Cleitus both looked up to see Roxanne heading towards them. Any expression they had on before formed into an instant frown and suddenly they wanted to get back to work. But that wouldn't stop her from coming over for whatever she was over there for.

"Fuck." Cassy mumbled under his breath. He didn't really have the energy to deal with her at the moment.

"Yea…have fun guys."

"Where the hell are you going?" Crater and Cassy simultaneously asked the blacked haired man like they were angry he was leaving them both alone with her. And suddenly Cassy was hoping Crater wouldn't leave him either.

"To take a shit." Cleitus hopped off the bleachers and waved to Cassy and Crater in spitefulness as he was leaving.

"Hello boys." She greeted with her normal bitch attitude.

"Hi." They both barely muttered.

"Crater, I need to speak to Cassy alone. Can you be a good little boy and skip away with the rest of the loser boys over there?"

"We're kinda busy. We actually need to get back to practice. Maybe you can come back some other time, let's see here, uh, like never."

Cassy said nothing, ignoring her, not even looking her way.

"Really? Crater I don't know if you heard but Cassy and I shared a wonderful experience the other day that I'm almost positive you'd like to hear about. Let's see, let's see, hmm, where should I start?" She evilly stalled.

"What the fuck do you want?" Cassy interrupted furiously.

Roxanne just smiled; finally gaining the reaction she hoped for and looked at Crater hinting that he leaves.

Cassy looked at Crater. "I'll join you later."

"Yea, whatever." Then the bigger teen stood left the bleachers glaring hard at Roxanne. "Oh and Cassy, you're going to tell me about this so called 'experience'."

They both waited until he was far enough. "Oops, sorry I almost slipped up." Roxanne glared at Cassy. Then she just continued to stare at him as if he was supposed to have something ready to say to her.

"Can I help you?" he asked irately.

"Don't play dumb. Time's ticking." She grumbled the obvious.

He sighed, ignored her and continued to light up another smoke.

This time she sighed with wearing patience and crossed her arms. "Really Cassy? I let you fuck me."

"Yea you did. And it will never happen again."

She looked at him questioningly but remained unimpressed. "You loved it. You hadn't had sex in so long people were mistaking you for being a born again virgin. I did you a favor."

"The answer is no Roxanne. I will not take you to fucking prom. Just because we fucked doesn't mean jack shit. You weren't that fucking great and I can get any bitch here to fucking moan and whimper like that any day of the fucking week. Don't act like you did me a favor by allowing me to put my dick inside you. So I'm going to lay down some advice for you, stop being a whiny little whore desperate for Alex's attention."

"You're full of shit Cassy. Don't act like you don't want it. It's getting fucking old."

"I'm not going to make Alex jealous for you. He won't care. You think he's just going to feel angry and vengeful that you and I are going to prom together? You think he's just going to act a fool when he sees us holding hands and dancing. You're out of your mind if you think any of that is going to play out. What do you not understand about that? Not to mention his attention isn't going to be on any of us, if he were going. But news flash, he's not going."

"He has eyes only for Phai, bla, bla, bla…You don't think that I thought about all of that already? Alex is a sensitive little bitch. We used to date, and I'm pretty sure he thinks you're one of his best friends. He'd probably go ape shit. It would be a terrible betrayal."

"He broke up with your ass. And last time I checked you two were never dating. Leave it to fucking Alex to breakup with a crazy bitch he never even took on one date or called girlfriend."

"Yea and he also has no idea you fucked me. It's not necessarily what he'd think of me but what he would think of you. If you don't go with me that's fine. There are plenty of guys here who would. I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. Alex will find out either way. I mean I could just tell him myself."

"Tell him what?" Cassy hissed.

"The truth. That you and I fucked because you were angry at him all because Phai would rather ride his dick than yours." She answered with no reservation.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Bullshit? Really Cassy? What would you say happened that night? That I slipped and fell on your dick? If that's not the correct answer, tell me the reason why you came over and fucked me than? I know for a fact you have no feelings for me or I you, so there must be a reason why you felt you needed to come over."

Cassy laughed wrathfully. "Good luck on your master plan. Alex is not going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth anyway. There is no one in this world with greater hatred for you than him besides me."

"Did he tell you that?" She asked in malicious concentration.

"He didn't have to. And now we're done here." Cassy grabbed his bag and started to walk away. "Also do not fuck with me Roxanne." He warned sternly.

"Or what? Are you going to hurt me? Choke me like Alex did?" The dark skinned girl smirked challengingly.

"Oh, I don't want to spoil anything for you honey, but you will most certainly regret it. And unlike Alex, I'd finish the job." He informed.

"Whatever you say Cass." Roxanne smiled. "However let's clear one tiny confusion up; I'm not desperate for his attention. I'm desperate for revenge. I don't want him back. I want him damaged. The sad part about you is that you're growing feelings which have already made you weak. We could have been a good team. But I'm going to destroy Alex and whether you like it or not, you will be a part of it. Phai will also be a part of it. You're going to soon discover that it feels right, that it feels good doing the wrong thing. It's what you really want and eventually after I have taken care of everything my way you'll thank me later. Oh and another thing, I play this whole being a soulless bitch better than you. So let's clear one more thing up, do not fuck with me because it's you who will regret it. Guaranteed. See you later Cass."

She pushed by him, patting him twice on the chest and strutted away.

* * *

><p>He swam to the edge of the pool where Alex was waiting for him. Phai wiped the water away from his eyes and stared up at the blonde.<p>

"Hi?" He smiled gently.

"Hi." The blonde smiled back. But he looked bothered about something.

"What are you up to?"

"Just…you know...Stuff." Alex replied simply. "Also something interesting happened today. I would call it magic but I don't believe in that."

Phai rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what Alex was going to bring up. Then he took a deep breath and waited for it.

"So as I'm going to my classes today I keep getting these weird pats on the back by teachers I don't care about or care to do the work for however they are congratulating me for the homework I finally and supposedly "turned in". But I recall, I haven't turned shit in since the day I stopped giving a shit about doing homework."

"Well, Alex what do you want me to say? Yea, I turned in your homework for you which I don't understand why you did the work in the first place if you weren't going to turn it in anyway. So stop acting like a child and get your shit together."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because you have to graduate, dumbass!"

"I was going to eventually turn it all in."

"Yea well turning shit in late actually is an automatic fail. And it certainly won't graduate you. Not to mention every single answer you gave was a hundred percent correct so you can thank me later. So did you come to get mad at me for caring about your success in life or did you come to watch me swim?"

"I came to watch you."

"Yea. About that. It's getting creepy." The brunette joked.

"Yea well I do creepy really well." Alex said his smirk a tease. Phai didn't know whether to take that one seriously or not so he dismissed it. He was sure it would get him hot and bothered later.

"Still not going to prom?" He changed the topic which was probably a bad idea because Alex's entire vibe changed immediately. Just like that. The dread that had been building inside him flowed through his every vein as he looked down at Phai. "Yea." The blonde answered promptly and degradingly. He thought maybe he could prevent doing something stupid if he didn't go. The tension and wariness was plaguing him for weeks.

"You never know, it could be fun." Phai asked with an encouraging smile. "It's also okay not to have a date to go with."

"You just want me to go because you're going."

"You're right." Phai admitted with no shame. "Or else I wouldn't keep asking if you're going."

"It's too late anyway." Alex dismissed. "Your date she's cute though. However you might be too promiscuous for her."

"Whatever Alex." Phai said begrudgingly not just towards the comment but mainly just towards Alex's entire demeanor lately. He just seemed so off his usual self which he couldn't really say he had a usual self because he's always been unusual but he was getting to the point where he was just acting incoherent, illogical and odd. And Phai was afraid Alex's disease was finally catching up to him. And it didn't make it any easier that Alex decided to just give up. On everything. It only gave Phai little hope for him which tore at his heart because he didn't want to feel that way.

The brunette hopped out of the pool, shoving the blonde aside lightly. He walked over to the bench and snatched up his towel to dry himself.

Naïve to having pissing him off, Alex called after him. "What are you doing after school?"

"School work Alex, something that doesn't mean shit to you anymore."

"I've been doing better." Alex responded and it only furthered Phai's frustration.

"Since when is turning nothing in doing better?" Alex folded his arms and sighed as Phai stared at him unhappily. "You're so weird sometimes."

"Sorry." Alex muttered softly.

"I'm gonna go change now and then I'm going to go home."

"Do you want a ride?"

"If you want to wait for me feel free. If not, I'm sure I am able to get myself home."

The blonde just shrugged and smiled briefly. "I'll wait. It's not like I have anything better to do."

Alex watched Phai shake his head and leave for the gym lockers. He then slung his back pack from his shoulder and placed it by his feet. Then sat on the bench and just looked completely locked in his mind, saddened, watching as the ripples in the pool swayed back and forth. And it brought him back to the discussion he had with Tolem no more than forty minutes before he came to watch his beautiful blue eyed love he had been chasing for so long.

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Fifty minutes Ago<strong>_

Tolem was undressing himself from his uniform; thankful football was over until the actual game the following week. Phai had headed to his last swimming session and everyone else had bailed early. Surprisingly Alex was still there for reasons unknown to him. He was sitting alone in the dark music room staring at the piano. Just staring like if he looked away for one second it would disappear or something. Almost like he was deciding whether he should play it or not. He didn't realize he had been staring at it for over twenty minutes until Tolem turned on the lights and asked how long he's been staring at it.

"I knew I would find you somewhere." The curled haired boy looked around the newly lit room.

Alex didn't even acknowledge him all that much and continued to look at the piano.

"I hate seeing you like this Alex. You know that. So I'm finally going to ask. Why are you acting all weird and shit?" Tolem pulled out a chair from its place and sat.

The blonde sighed and with parted lips he was ready to say something. Then he stopped his thoughts before they would leave his mouth. Then he shook his head, his eyelashes lowering. He was avoiding Tolem's eyes as much as possible.

"You know you not making eye contact with me and not speaking isn't going to make me leave this room."

Alex respected Tolem to much to not tell him what was going on and finally gave him the eye contact he wanted even though their was hurt and uneasiness displayed in his golden eyes. "Whatever I have going on with Phai, I have to end it."

"What?" Tolem asked as if he didn't hear the first time. "Are you being serious right now?"

Alex glared at him. "I'm certainly not joking, Tols."

"No, but I was hoping you were. What the fuck Alex?"

"Things are difficult." Alex was very unstill now, like he was causing himself to be nervous. His brain was telling him he was more ready for it than what his heart felt. It was funny because he never had a difficult time following his heart. But now it felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest and held captive in his own palm. Which left him with nothing to follow.

Tolem looked dumbfounded at first as he searched for an appropriate response. "You mean you're getting complicated?"

"Tolem if anyone would understand why, it's you. I need to do this. I really need to do this. And yes it's because of me. It has nothing to do with Phai I fucking promise you that. Absolutely nothing to do with him."

"You piss me off so much Alex." Tolem grumbled running his hands through his hair. He dropped his hands in his lap, really with nothing to say even though he wanted to say a lot. Like how Alex was not only ruining Phai's life, but his own.

"I'm sorry." Alex said as he saw how upset Tolem looked about it. "You think I want this Tolem?" Alex stood and approached him.

Tolem growled back in frustration. "I guess I can't believe you're just going to destroy him like that."

The blonde instantly turned saddened at those words. "Why would you think I'm trying to destroy him?"

Tolem angrily stood from his seat. "Than what are you doing?"

"I have to let him go."

"What could possibly be your reason?"

Alex could feel his throat starting to burn up almost to the point of it going numb. "I'm not a good person." He shifted uneasily.

It wasn't intentional to make him feel that way at all but somehow deep that hurt Tolem to hear that. What the fuck was Alex talking about not being a good person? "I will never completely understand what goes on in your stupid brain Alex. Bad person how? Did you kill someone? Did you cheat on a test? Did you steal a pencil from your classmate?"

"Tolem, please take me seriously."

"No! I hate when you're serious Alex. Everyone hates when you're serious. When you're serious, everyone gets serious almost naturally like the entire world revolves around you, and we all care about you enough to want our lives to revolve around you. When you're not happy, I'm not happy, your friends aren't happy, and Phai is especially never happy when you're not in a good mood. What happened to those days when you two were always together, always happy, always having fun? We all want to know what the fuck is up with you lately. Leon is so worried about you he calls me everyday to ask because he thinks you and I are the closest and you tell me everything, apparently not. Phil, even though he's a fucking dickhead, asks me all the time what's wrong with you. I am so sorry that you think you're such a bad person Alex, but we know, your friends know, your family knows, that you are a good person. Why can't you see that?"

"I know who I am and I don't need you to tell me that I'm a good person when I know it's not true."

Tolem crossed his arms. "Your opinion about yourself has always been heartbreaking."

"Sorry."

Tolem sighed knowing he was being a little harsh on him. "I take it that there is no way I am going to be able to talk some sense into you?"

Alex shook his head. "I've decided this awhile ago. I don't want it Tolem. I need it. And please don't hate me for it. I don't want you to hate me. Anyone else can hate me just not you."

"I will never hate you Alex. I have no right to tell you what to do with your choices or with your feelings for that matter. But your decision making skills lately are all fucked up. Just know what you are letting go of. Just understand the pain he's going to feel. Understand the pain you are going to feel. And understand that he is in love with you." Tolem stated. "Madly. No matter what happens or what you do, or where you think you need to run to, you can not prevent him from falling in love with you more, because he's already completely there. It's just something people don't completely get over no matter what kind of closure they get."

"I'm hoping he finds someone better in hopes he'll move on."

"He'll never move on. It's not that easy. You know that. If you know Phai better than I do, than you know it's going to be the hardest thing he'll ever have to do. It's going to be the hardest thing you'll have to do."

"I know." Alex looked down towards the ground.

"And I know you don't want this either. I don't think you're ready."

"I'm never going to be ready."

_**End of flashback**_

_I was literally stuck under an iron sea. With sharks surrounding me, waiting for me to finish drowning, until I finally stop putting up a struggle so that they could pick me apart and leave the waters resting in the blood of my tears. Maybe if my heart didn't hurt this bad, I wouldn't hurt so bad. Loss is so distinctive when you're in love. _

* * *

><p>Phai sighed in a mixture of apprehension and uncertainty as he came back out to see Alex still waiting for him. He looked absolutely cheerless and completely focused at the pool before him. He thought maybe he was being too hard on him earlier. He sat next to him and took his hand in his.<p>

"Alex, my moms going with me to pick out a tuxedo after school. If you want to come you can. That's all I had planned tonight. If you want to do something tonight after we can do something tonight. And I didn't mean to call you weird. You're not weird Alex." He kissed him on the cheek, forgetting that people might be around, but that wasn't at all on his mind. Alex smiled at him but then turned back towards the water. When Alex didn't say anything Phai turned worried. He could see that he was in grief. "What's wrong?"

"When will all of this be over?"

"What?"

"I'm hoping that it could come soon. So that I can finally just die."

Phai opted to be silent. Those words cut through him like a knife. He had no idea how to respond. He didn't know how to respond either to the loose tears in Alex's dull eyes. So he squeezed Alex's leg firmly. "Everything is going to be okay Alex."

The hole opened up in his own heart and he just sat quietly next to him and stared ahead at whatever Alex was staring at. And they sat there together for a little while longer.

_Most people fear death. It makes them nervous thinking about when there time will come. Me, I can't wait for the day. Dying? It seems to fit somehow._

* * *

><p>"Oh hun. This is gorgeous. You will look so handsome in this one." His mother squealed as she showed him one of the suits on display at the shop they were at.<p>

"It's just a tuxedo mom. They all look the same." He answered in a terrible mood.

"Oh but honey, this is perfect."

"I guess."

"Phai don't make it awkward for her. You're the one who is supposed to be excited about this, not mom. Show some of that enthusiasm of yours or something." Callista said and Phai forgot that she was even there.

"When I thought tuxedo shopping mom, I didn't think Callista would be included."

"What was I supposed to do with her?"

"Dropped her at home with dad after you picked her up from school? Or left her there."

"Phai!" –"Phai!" Both Callista and the mom scolded simultaneously.

"I meant leave her there so that she could catch the bus." He corrected so that he wouldn't get further glares.

"Incase you haven't noticed Phai, your fathers been acting weird lately. Like he needs alone time, which is why I didn't want Callista home."

"Are you saying I'd be a bother mom?" Callista turned sad.

"That's probably exactly what she's saying." Phai grinned.

"Shut up Phai." She told him.

"No dear. And Phai knock it off. You're acting real bitchy. And all I'm saying is that your father needs alone time and anyone would be a bother at the moment. And so now we're here shopping for my graduating son. I'm so happy for you, hun! She hugged him and smooched him on the cheek.

"Thanks mom." He shyly smiled. He wished he could summon up the energy to be happier about it.

The prom, the tuxedo, weren't at all on his mind. He wanted Alex to feel whole again. He wanted this moment to tell his mom about Alex. He told himself straightforward honesty would be the best and easiest way to go, but he just couldn't do it. Too many thoughts of it going wrong. And that feeling of disappointing her was still nagging at him. Disappointing his mother would be the worst feeling in the world.

"Phai we should probably get you measured?" She turned her head looking around for anybody who worked there.

"Mom can I tell you something?" The words barely escaped his lips. He felt disoriented just thinking about how lame he felt.

"Yea sure hun, what is it?"

He cleared his throat making room for a suitable confession then the words never came. He just looked at her like he had already said what he wished to say and he was just awaiting her response.

"What is it Phai?"

Tension and awkwardness began to grow as no one spoke. His nerves felt like they were going to collapse.

Phai looked to the floor, blue eyes poignant. And a lump formed in his throat. Feeling like he'd rather kill himself than say the words.

"Honey are you okay?" She looked really worried.

He shook his head as if he was shaking a bad memory away. "Nothing. I don't remember what I wanted to say."

Then he walked off to look at the other suits the store had to offer.

Callista looked at her mom. "That was weird. I'm telling you mom, therapy."

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Day of prom…<strong>_

"Oh my goodness, you boys look absolutely gorgeous." Phai's mom complimented and she shoved all of the boys close together for a group photo.

Alex was lying on his bed and his music was blasting while all of the excitement was happening outside on Phai's front yard. No one knew why they made Phai's house the hot spot to arrive. It was probably because they've all been there before and were comfortable around Phai's parents.

Phillip walked into Alex's room stuffing his mouth with a glazed donut and turned down the volume to the music. Alex just gave him a death stare.

"You're not going to join your friends downstairs and wish them well?"

"I guess I would but I don't really care."

"Well as their friend you should probably go see them before they head out."

"They know I'm happy for them."

"What about Phai? You're not going to say bye to him either?"

Alex glared at him. He couldn't tell if his dad was being sarcastic, passive aggressive or if that was actually an honest question. But his dad had never been honest. "What about him? And why the fuck do you care?" He went off the deep edge because saying bye to Phai would make him feel like a bigger asshole, because a goodbye was already coming. His dad unknowingly just happened to remind him.

Phillip crossed his arms and leaned against the door. "You know what Alex, I've tried pretending that you and the neighbor kid didn't happen but then I remember I caught you two fucking in my house and now I'm traumatized for life which is completely and absolutely your fault. However that's a memory I'm just going to have to live with forever because… hell, I have no choice. So in the mean time I'm trying really hard to understand why you like dick. It's not easy for me. So cut me some slack."

"You claiming that you're trying to understand is all fucking bullshit, so let me ask you something. Why are you all of a sudden acting like you're trying to accept it? I mean if you don't accept it, eventually I will stop giving a shit about the ill feelings you have towards me and I'm surely able to move on with my life with or without your advice. In simpler words your opinion doesn't matter to me. It hasn't mattered for awhile. "

"Because you're my son and I care about you." Their was sincerity in his tone.

"Words never sounded so truer." Alex's voice was flat and his expression blank.

"Just go and visit your fucking friends before they leave. Your temper lately has been a lose cannon and I don't like it. Get the hell out of my house with that shit."

"Fine." Alex swung his body off the bed and shoved his father aside on his way to the front door.

"Oh and don't forget to smile. Act like you give a shit. And their are donuts downstairs. I ate most of them but they're down there."

"Don't tell me to smile, and don't tell me to give a shit. Did you get chocolate donuts?"

"Those are the ones I ate."

"Fuck off dad."

Alex went downstairs, snatched the entire box of donuts and took them outside with him as he walked over to Phai's house where everyone was gathered with their dates. All of his friends were there but Cassy. Even Roxanne was there the only reason being because Thais was there.

Alex leaned against a tree while everyone were getting pictures snapped of them. He didn't know how Cleitus managed to bring two dates but hell, more power to him he thought.

Phai's mother waved him over to join the photo but he sent her a hand gesture, respectively declining. Phai peered away from his date and at Alex when he noticed that everyone else noticed he was there. He smiled a little at him and Alex smiled a little back. Him showing up anywhere became a surprise to everyone lately. Then he noticed Roxanne was watching them but Alex avoided the look she gave him across the yard.

Cleitus went up to the blonde and kissed him drunkenly on the mouth. Alex pushed him away. "Cleitus don't ever touch my mouth with yours again."

"Oh get over it. You should be excited for us. I'm excited for us."

"I can't believe your drunk already. Actually that was stupid of me, of course you're drunk." Alex said. Cletius kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you man. You're a pain in the ass but I love you."

"Love you too Cleitus."

Cleitus skipped away and Alex turned to watch Phai interacting with his date. He blinked thinking they were actually cute together but then again he knew he was just trying to make it easier for himself. This gave him the time to admire Phai. This was the time to rethink what he was letting go of. He looked at his face feeling soothed by his beauty. He recognized his devastating smile which had transformed his already handsome features into a breathtaking one. The blue eyes were astounding in the sun. And he could start to feel his regrets. They had shared something so intimate and the thought of it disappearing in a heart beat was frightening. He thought about what they shared in the past and what they shared in between. Is it really going to be gone? Alex was engrossed in his inner musings, his expression in his eyes reflecting the building defeat he was feeling.

_My thoughts were so deepened that I don't remember if I said much to Phai before he left with his date. I remember it being quick. I remember congratulating him. I remember him giving me a simple 'thanks'. Then I told him to have fun. And all he said was 'sure'. He was in by no means angry at me. He just didn't know what to say to me anymore. _

_All he wanted was me there. Then they were gone and off to the actual fun. _

* * *

><p>He seemed to be making more appearances outside lately now that he had nothing to do as he sat at his front porch looking up at the stars in the sky. Being inside, whether he was watching TV or occupying himself with books in his bedroom, made his head feel compressed with despair and the thought of staring up at his ceiling for the millionth time again while trying to force sleep on himself or flipping the channels to nothing new made it hard for him to breath, like the recurrences were killing him.<p>

"What's so interesting up there?"

Alex turned his head toward Cassy as he saw the teen approaching from the shadows of his home. Then the green eyed boy sat down next to him and lit up a smoke.

Alex smirked and looked away. "The stars are brighter today than they were yesterday. I don't know if it's because I've looked at them for too long. The more I look the brighter they are or it could be that they are actually a lot brighter than before. I can't tell."

"Well staring at something for a long period of time probably comes with consequences. I think it's called blind sight."

"I wasn't staring. I was counting."

"Counting stars? If you ask me it sounds like a waste of time. But then again you're kinda weird that way. I seriously couldn't imagine what you'd rather spend your time on."

"Why is it a waste of time? As far as I'm concerned time isn't going anywhere."

"Because every time someone tries, they always lose count."

"If you lose count, you're counting wrong."

"Is an infinity amount of stars worth counting Alex? Be honest."

"When you have all the time in the world, yes. When time doesn't let you know that your time is running out, also yes. I'm surprised you didn't go." Alex said, speaking about the prom they were both sadly missing out on for different but similar reasons.

"I can say the same for you." Cassy cleared his throat.

"I couldn't go."

Cassy knew that wasn't literally speaking. He knew it was a choice Alex had made.

"Neither could I."

"Why?"

"There's this thing that happened that I should tell you about. Which is probably why I'm here?"

"You slept with Roxanne. I know."

"How?" There was a baffled look on his face.

"Do I look stupid Cassy? Do you really think I don't know you by now?"

"Did she tell you?"

Alex just looked at him. "She didn't have to. It's just something I figured you'd do. It's something I'd figured you'd both do."

"Fuck man, when are you ever going to give me the chance to apologize properly?"

"Cassy there's a pattern with you. You shouldn't have to apologize to the same person more than once. Hell, if you don't mean it, you shouldn't have to apologize at all."

"Well this time I am sorry. I wasn't thinking really. She wanted us to fuck in hopes I'd go with her to the prom. And since she thought you'd be there, you'd get jealous and give her the attention she wanted. I fucked her because I was angry at you for having something I don't. So I thought if I slept with her, something you once possessed, I'd feel better."

"Do you feel better?" Alex asked directly but he was actually curious.

"At the time I felt great. The worst part is that I almost did ask her to the prom just to prove a fucking point. Mostly just so that she'd get off my case."

"It wouldn't have hurt me if you did. You two are a lot a like and it just would never work. Too much sass, too much anger. Not to mention you guys have similar agendas which is to make people feel like shit so that you guys feel a lot better about yourselves. "

"Thanks for comparing me to her."

"You're welcome. Anything else?"

Cassy stood up and sighed. "I don't even know why you deal with it. How can you be this calm? It's fucking annoying Alex!"

"We all make mistakes." The blonde replied softly, with a personal regret tearing in the back of his throat.

"Alex, don't play that forgiving shit with me."

"Well what do you want from this? Things don't change and unless you can go back in time, you can't fix what's been done. What you did, you really didn't do to hurt me. You did it to make yourself feel better. If your intentions were flipped maybe I might punch you in your mouth repeatedly and watch you choke on your own blood but you fucked Roxanne not because you wanted to teach me a lesson or hurt me."

"I think you're wrong. When I walked up to her front door, all I was thinking about was hurting you." Cassy stated seriously.

"If you wanted to hurt me you would have. If you wanted to hurt me you wouldn't be here right now trying to get me to be furious at you for what you've done. You did it because you wanted to feel something. You probably wanted to feel how it's like to be intimate, to be close to someone. Unfortunately you put your dick in the wrong person and you sought intimacy with the wrong person. It happens. I don't blame you; you were at the right place at the right time. I'm not going to hold it against you. I've done stupid shit too."

"Like counting stars? That's fucking stupid."

"Yea Cass, like counting stars." Alex chuckled.

Cassy shook his head. "Only you Alex." He put out his light. "Why aren't you there?"

"Because I wasn't planning on being there all night. I had something to do and then I was just going to leave. So I figured why go at all. What about you?"

"To be honest I didn't want to go. It's not my thing. Dancing, romance, annoying fucking people. Stupid ass music. Yea, I'll pass."

"So what are you gonna do. I doubt home is the place for you right now." Alex knew Cassy's dad wasn't the best father around and knew that was the last place Cassy was welcomed.

"Right now I'm crashing with Cleitus. You know I almost killed him, my dad. I waited until he was sleeping, snuck back in the house and had a knife right at his neck. I thought about doing it. I thought really hard. The sick bastard looked happy snoring his fucking ass off, probably dreaming about me failing in life. Then I just left. I didn't have the guts to kill him with mom sleeping right next to him, even though sometimes I wish she was dead too. But she'd miss him. He'd miss her. How fucking compassionate of me. I think I hate my dad enough to kill him without remorse. I think I'm just waiting until he really slips up so that when it does happen I have a reason."

Alex nodded in understanding. "You know how many times I wanted to kill my dad? A lot. But I knew it was never going to happen because I don't hate him enough. I can understand the hate you have for yours. My dad and I fight but we kinda understand each other. He knows he'll never get away with abusing me without me fucking him up right back. Sometimes I fuck him up so bad, I feel like an asshole afterwards. Then sometimes I push it far enough until he beats my ass until I feel relieved. He's pretty strong for an older guy with back problems, knee problems… drinking problems. Any other problem you can name."

"Yea, your dad's not to bad."

Cassy watched Alex stare back up in the sky. "Hey, I'll leave you alone okay so you can finish doing weird shit with the stars." Then he turned and started to walk.

Alex let out a deep breath. "If you want him all, Cassy, you can have him all. My feelings for him may or may not change but if I know he's better off than I'm okay. You have no idea how hard it is for me right now giving up something I strongly adore. No one has a fucking idea how much I'm truly freaking out inside at this very moment. I don't know what's going to happen. I've made bad choices in my life and this is possibly one of them. But I need you to understand how important he is to me and that I'm giving you something so much more than I deserve. After so long I finally found him but I will not allow him to be lost or stolen after I fade away. I think Phai's always liked you. I think he sees more potential in you, and if you end up together I will understand. There's that part of me that's screaming silently, drowning in tears. He's on his knees and he's fucking angry at me for letting go of something that's so dear to him. When you said that I didn't deserve him, you were right. I never knew about your feelings towards him because I was too worried about mine. I'm sorry. I had no idea and now I'm paying for it.

_It was true. The more I focused on Phai, my world began to crash. I just needed to let him go and stop worrying about what could have been._

"I need someone there for him and I trust you to take care of him, if he allows it. But it's Phai and it's going to take him a long time to heal from what's going to happen. So if you can, wait long enough for him to come around."

"What about you?"

"I'll get by."

/

_The party is wild. Insults are being shouted as drunken men gather_. _The king watches from his throne as his drunk blue eyed general kisses one of his other generals Cassander on the mouth before digging back into his cup. Alexander grows furious at the sight but says nothing. He does nothing. His mouth is behind a wine cup and he drinks it faster than it was poured. He __looks back on all the times he kissed the slave boy and many women infront of his Phai and that somewhat tamed his thoughts but it wasn't enough for he was too far into a drunken stage. He stood from his throne, stumbling a bit as he left the party. _

\

Cassy chuckled in disbelief. He rubbed his face in frustration. "He's going to hate you Alex and he's going to hate me even more. What the fuck are you even thinking?"

Alex's eyes brightened up after his memory faded and he looked up at Cassy. "I don't know."

* * *

><p>Phai was standing by himself with a cup of punch in his hand as his prom date was off giggling and chatting with some of the other senior girls. He looked around at everybody having a good time, his invaluable eyes grasping their happiness. Cleitus was off making out with two random hot girls after spiking their drinks. Tolem looked blissful with Thais as the couple danced sweetly to one of the slow songs playing at the moment. Crater and Phil were laughing it up at the table along with their dates. Even Roxanne looked like she was having a better time than he was. His gaze slipped to the doorway then back.<p>

Leon walked up to him, seeing that he needed to be cheered up from where he and the others sat. "I would tell you to have fun, but I'm sure you already heard it from somebody else?"

The browned haired teens lips curved in a tiny smile of apology. "I don't mean to be uninterested, I just don't exactly know what am I doing here if I'm not having fun?"

"Well go dance with your date." Leon suggested.

He shook his head. "No I think I'm good. She's way to into me."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Well, I told her I was not into her. And she got mad and left to go talk with the other girls. No doubt talking shit about how lousy her date is."

"Which explains why she's suddenly in a laughing mood and why they're looking over here?" Leon asked with a small grin.

"Yea."

"You're not lousy Phai." Leon said sympathetically. "However, that was bad timing to tell a girl that you're not into her on her first and only prom."

Phai half smiled. "Yea, I thought about that after."

"But you're not lousy."

"I didn't even put on the tie my dad offered to tie or me because I hate the way it feels around my neck. All I had to do was wear it for one night. That's pretty lousy."

Leon sighed. "Well the bow tie looks much better anyway."

"Thanks Leon."

He patted Phai on the shoulder, told him to go enjoy himself while time remained, then took off to go find his date.

Phai stood there in the same spot for a couple of more minutes before he just finally got fed up. He couldn't tell if he was just envious because everyone else was having a good time, if he really just didn't want to be there because he found it stupid and boring, if he wanted to leave because of the annoying tittering mass of girls and boys or if he was mad that Alex wasn't there at all, but it didn't matter anymore. He took a deep breath and put his drink on a table somewhere then walked over to where Tolem and Thais were, politely interrupting their dance.

"Tolem I'm going to step out."

"What? Why?" The curled haired teen reacted in worrisome.

"I just don't feel like being here right now."

"Are you going outside? It's storming out." Tolem responded in complete disapproval.

"I was actually going to walk home. Like take off."

"WHAT?! Are you mad? It's raining and you came in a limo. You're not walking home or taking the bus this late."

"Seriously at this point I don't really care. Also their is a bullshit amount of emphasis on social prestige here."

"What the hell Phai?!" Tolem struggled to keep his voice low.

"I don't feel like explaining it right now. I'll call you later. Sorry." He moved his way back out of the crowded dance floor. He was glad that Thais kept Tolem from following him because he really just didn't want to be there anymore.

_I knew that I was the root of the problem. So I had to go. _

Alex walked through the doors of the room where the prom was taking place. Every head in the room turned. The blonde was soaking wet from the heavy rain outside but he did have the decency to put on a suit and tie. He leisurely moved through the crowd of dancers and lovers causing everyone to stop what they were there to do watching him with weird and surprised stares. Because they weren't expecting him to show. Because he was drenched. Because he was entirely too gorgeous. They were looking at him for all kinds of reasons but mostly wondering why he decided to make an appearance now. He looked like he had a purpose but he paid them no attention as he only sought out one, not realizing that he was the center of everyone's ongoing attention. The teachers who had stuck around to help chaperone also watched at the blonde teen curiously. Roxanne studied his movements most of all, as her dark eyes peered upon him.

"Phai." Alex called out delicately, stopping the brunette right before he was able to push open the exit door.

Phai's eyes rose, then he quickly turned around not expecting to be staring back at Alex. He looked at him anxiously.

"You look beautiful." Alex said smiling lightly.

The brunettes throat was tight taking him a moment longer to speak. And even then he couldn't. But he knew 'it' was coming the minute Alex came up to him, cupped the back of his head and kissed him deeply. Mouths instantly fell open and their were whispers, intakes of breath and talk all throughout the room and every expression in the room were suddenly protracted. Alex's friends couldn't believe it. The teachers couldn't believe it. The students couldn't believe it. And there was an extensive spark of displeasure and astonishment from Roxanne. And the entire room was silenced at the sight. But all Alex knew and all he cared about was the person he had held against him. Everyone else became useless background music.

Phai didn't know when he had returned the kiss but when he did he found himself desperately needing it. It was all he wanted. There was nothing to hide between them anymore. Phai knew that this was going to be his last kiss in a long time. He knew this was Alex's version of a breakup and Alex knew this was the only way he was able to do it.

Alex then wrapped his arms tightly but gently around Phai giving him a goodbye hug. Phai could feel that Alex was sorry so he hugged him back.

"I need to know something." Phai whispered.

"Yea. Anything." Alex responded softly.

"How long did you realize you needed this?"

Alex blinked heavily hesitating only briefly. "A couple of years."

Phai sadly smiled against the blondes warm cheek. "I'll make it easier for you so that you don't have to say it. Are you ready?"

Alex nodded. "I'm ready."

"Alex, I think you should go another way, while I go mine. I know you need this. So this is me breaking up with you instead, okay?"

"I'm sorry. This breakup has been the longest breakup I think ever and I'm such an asshole for it."

"It's okay." Phai was twirling a strand of blond hair watching it as it curled even more around his finger. "I realized long ago what you needed. I know what you're running from. It's not from me. It's not even from your dreams. You're running from yourself. I knew you were trying to end it with me I just didn't want to believe it but when I did believe it I was just waiting for you to end it as quickly as possible but it was selfish of me to think that you could have when you couldn't. You didn't know how. We broke up a long time ago and we didn't even know it. And even though that's what you came here for the only way I wanted to actually be here, is if you were here and now you're here. I'm glad you showed up. And now I guess you have to do what you think is best for you. And I have to be strong about it. I just wish you weren't in such a hurry, that's all. I'm gonna miss you Alex."

Alex was mindlessly staring off, watching the flashing lights on the ceiling through his blurred eyes. They looked like stars. "I'm gonna miss you too Phai."

_It wasn't until I felt the wet ground beneath my knees, that I discovered that I did have a goal. That all this running wasn't for nothing. I wanted to see how far I could run until my eyes shut. I thought if I ran enough I would tire myself out and sleep would finally draw near. I stayed hopeful just awhile longer as I was on my knees, thinking that I was able to fall unconscious if my body was willing. Maybe after I do, I can wake up and discover that everything was just a dream. That letting go of the only one I ever really loved was not real. Because the real Alexander would have never stopped following his dreams. He would have refused so._

_This is why this has to be a dream. This is why this can't be real._

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><p>The blonde falls to the ground. He is finally out of breath. His body can't handle anymore running. He turns onto his back and stares straight up. The clouds looked like they were dropping. The stars were dancing but it was the moon that caught his attention venturing in its beauty. His breathing is heavy and vigorous. His legs throbbing. His heart pumping. The moon looks right back down at him. Leaves are tangled in his hair, filth pasted onto his skin and clothes. The night sky becomes soothing and his breathing steadily softens. He's still awake. The gods have no desire to let him sleep. In fact he's alive as ever. The moon smiles brightly and the blonde blinks coming to realization…that time does exist and there was no manipulating its natural function. There was no escaping the present. Even when he's not having the memories, the visions of the life he strongly feels he has lived, he still hear Phai's voice and sees his face, and every time he does, he feels like he's home. And as long as the moon continues to shine and as long as it whispers softly back to him every time he speaks to it, he will always be reminded of Phai. There was no escaping him. Ever.<p>

So he smiled sadly back at the large celestial body, watching it run its regular cycle of phases and refused to move from where he fell continuing to lay there through out the entire night.

_If I ever do manage to sleep, I don't wish to dream. I've done enough dreaming awake. And I'm sick of these no ends and these no beginnings and if I don't dream, there will be no end or beginning. Until then the infection inside me continues to dance lazily across my empty wounds, exposing my ruins, exposing a new chapter in my life...__a new beginning with no end. _

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><p><em><strong>I don't even know what to say. I don't even know if anyone is still out there. It's been almost a year since I've updated any of my stories which I didn't plan by the way. I miss you guys and I hope you're all still here somewhere.<strong> **The patience is much appreciated and I apologize greatly for the wait. I can't even express my apologies. All I can do is hope you guys haven't forgot. Anyway if you're reading this story still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**_


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